Okay, so my prediction at the time may have been right, but it took some time. After I ran down the hall and caught up with Celestia, we casually strolled down to her room. In hindsight, I guess I should have known something was up when she yawned and casually laid her head on my shoulder as we kept walking. Falling for her trap, I wrapped my arm around her neck and held her close as we approached a door that had her giant cutie mark on it.

“Make yourself at home,” she said as I followed her inside. I casually glanced around the cozy space that was only lit by the fire burning in the fireplace. I sat on her giant bed in the center of the room as I watched her walk over onto her terrace and finish lowering the sun. As she did, I looked through my phone and found some more relaxing music to play.

“Did you enjoy yourself today?” Celestia asked as she came back into the room.

“Of course. Having a princess as an escort made the whole thing that much better,” I answered as she hopped up onto the bed and sat next to me, “thanks for the fun date.”

“It’s no problem. I wanted to do that as much as you,” she replied as she slid herself over and onto my lap, “this was a very fun day indeed.”

“We’ll have to do it again sometime,” I said as I ran my hand through her mane, “but on a day when you actually don’t have any work to do.”

“That might not be for a while then,” she said as she closed her eyes and leaned into my hand.

“Well, at least bring Luna next time. I’d like to meet her in person,” I said as I flopped onto my back and Celestia turned around to face me as she scooted up to lay on my stomach.

“We’ll see,” she purred as I scratched her ears, “your hands are wonderful.”

“I’ve been known to give a pretty good massage. All the ladies have given me a ten out of ten, except for one because she didn’t like massages.”

“Doesn’t like massages?” Celestia repeated.

“Hard to believe, right? But she gave me ten in something else,” I said vaguely.

“Hmm,” Celestia hummed thoughtfully, “Alex?”

“Hmm?” I replied as I sat my head up and looked her innocent smile.

“Would you mind giving me a massage?” she asked as she floated an unlabeled bottle over, “I’ve become rather stressed lately and it’s caused me to tense up.”

“Uh,” I don’t like where this is going, “don’t you have royal masseuses or something here in the castle?”

“Yes, but I’m sure they’ve already gone home for the day,” she replied as she swirled her hoof on my chest and looked at me with her big pink eyes, “so, could you?”

“Sure,” I sighed and she giggled happily as she hopped off of me and lay on her stomach with her back legs stretched out. I totally set myself up this time. I sat up, kicked off my shoes, and keeled over her. I rolled up my nonexistent sleeves before I took the bottle out her magic and applied the liquid generously to my hands where I rubbed them together until they were warm.

“Here we go,” I warned flatly before gently resting my hands in the middle of her back, in between the base of her wings, “I might not be that good since I haven’t done this with a pony before.” …I'm sure I couldn’t have said that any other way. She let out a little moan as I slowly and gently dragged my hands down her spine, applying firm pressure with a few of my fingers as I went. Once I got the base of her tail, I went back in between her wings and massaged the base of each wing; being just gentle enough to have her not make any weird noises.

Once that was done, I moved on to her actual wings where I was extra gentle, remembering that wings are pretty fragile. As I moved along her wings, a feather would pop out every so often, making her sigh in relief. I slid the feathers into my pocket for safekeeping as I kept working. When I got done with her back, including her butt and legs, she flipped over and insisted I do her chest and stomach. With a sigh, I obeyed and did as instructed.

I started with her hooves and slowly made my way down, opting to be a little rougher, thinking she couldn’t possibly be sensitive on her chest and stomach. As I worked, her moans and light panting became a lot more audible and started to affect me in a certain way. Focusing too much on the noises she was making, I didn’t notice how dark the room had gotten or how low my hands were as my fingers brushed over something. What’s that? And do I smell… sunflowers?

Like and idiot, I grabbed hold of the little nub and gently rolled it in between my fingers, making Celestia practically scream.

“Oh shit, you alright, Celestia?” I asked as I instantly stopped and looked up at her red face.

“I-I’m fine,” she panted as she wiped something from her mouth, “please, keep going.”

“Alright, well I’m almost done anyway.”

“… am I,” I heard her mutter.

“What was that?”

“Nothing,” she replied before I started moving my hands again around the extra soft flesh surrounding the little nub. This feels familiar, I thought as I found the other nub and worked around it too. Wait… do horses have…

“Oh shit!” I exclaimed as I suddenly pulled my hands away from Celestia’s teats, making her moan loudly as I felt a familiar warm liquid drench my pants, “Oh my god… What have I done?” I sat and watched in horror as Celestia panted and convulsed lightly. Not again!

“I… I’m gonna go,” I said as I quickly slipped off the bed and fell on my face when my dead legs didn’t hold me. I had managed to army crawl halfway to the door, when I felt myself being pulled back and up by my pants.

“Please,” Celestia said with a goofy smile and still slightly out of breath, “don’t go.”

“I probably should,” I said as I fought against her magical grip, “I kind of just molested you and I feel bad, especially after I just told Cadence I wouldn’t.” As I tried to crawl to the door, my pants eventually ripped and I fell right on my boner, making me yelp in pain as I curled up in a ball on the floor.

“Alex!” Celestia exclaimed as she quickly hopped off the bed and rushed to my side, “Are you alright?”

“Yep,” I squeaked, “I’m fine. My dick just hurts, is all.”

“You poor thing. This is all my fault. Let’s get you back on the bed,” she said as she lifted me with her magic and floated me a few feet to the bed, but suddenly dropped me on my face again, “I’m sorry! I must still be tired. Here-” She dragged me the rest of the way to the bed and hefted me onto it as I kept massaging my dick. She quickly hopped up and cuddled up to me, resting my head on her neck as she held me.

“Thank you for the massage,” she cooed into my ear as she rubbed my arm with a hoof.

“No problem,” I groaned, “I’m… I’m glad you l-liked it.”

“It was the best I’ve ever gotten,” she sighed contently, “you’ll have to do it again sometime.”

“Uh, s-sure,” I replied nervously, “I’ll give you one next time you do something to earn it.”

“Aw, and what would I have to do?”

“I’ll leave that up to you,” I said as her soothing voice and soft fur started to relax me.

“I’ll sleep on it then,” she said as she floated some blankets over us and pulled me closer to her, “Good night, Alex.”

“Night,” I replied as she put out the fire.

“…Alex?”

“Yeah?”

“Are we best friends now?”

“I don’t think so. Not yet at least.”

“Alright… Alex?”

“Yes?”

“I… I love you…”

“I love you too,” I replied instantly before I quickly forced myself asleep.

…

“This is fucking awesome!” I screamed as I drove a sports car around a familiar Burnout track, “This game was awesome!” As I whipped around a corner and did a signature takedown on another racer, I spotted Princess Luna standing in the middle of the track looking scared out of her mind as cars flew past her. Trying to be cool, I drove up close to her before doing a skidding stop next to her. She stared at my car nervously as the window rolled down.

“Hey, Prin-” was all I could get out before another car T-boned me and sent me flying.

“Alexander the Human!” she exclaimed as she watched my car fly through the air before landing and exploding.

“Wow, that’s a lot more violent than I remembered,” I said, making her whip her head around and finding me standing next to her, “how’s it going Princess?”

“Please do not scare me like that, Alexander,” she sighed with a hoof on her chest before shrieking when a car roared past us.

“Please, just call me Alex,” I said as I took a step closer to her and a car zooms right through the spot I was in, making Luna jump in fright. I caught her before she landed, saving her from being run over by another passing car, and walked us over into a random building on the side of the track. The inside of the room was dark at first before it changing into Twilight’s library, complete with blank books and even a Twilight quietly sitting on a cushion reading a giant tome. I walked us over to the couch next to Twilight and sat Luna down before I sat next to her.

“So what’s up, Princess?” I asked as cups of tea poofed in front of Luna and me.

“I-I,” she stuttered before clearing her throat, “I was just checking up on you, like I said I would.”

“Yeah, you did say that,” I said as I sipped on my tea and a perfect copy of Luna materialized in front of us.

“Hmm… you seem very suspicious,” the copy said as it’s head turned like it was watching something, “I shall be watching you carefully.”

“What is this?” the real Luna asked as she got out of her seat and approached the copy that froze in place.

“What?” I asked as I watch Luna circle her copy.

“My flank is not nearly this big!” she exclaims as she points a hoof at her copies butt that was admittedly oversized.

“Hmm, your right,” I said as I stared at the real Luna’s butt, making her blush and hide behind her copy, “can’t believe I forgot an ass as nice as yours.”

“E-excuse me?!” Luna exclaimed, making Twilight look up angrily and shush us before looking back down at her book.

“What? You have a nice butt,” I reiterated, “better than your sister’s even.”

“Wha- you know my sister?” she asked, quickly changing gears.

“Yeah, we spent most of the day together. I’m actually in the castle right now,” I said as a replica of Celestia’s bedroom doors started to form, but I made it vanish.

“Is that so?” Luna said as she took her seat again and sipped from her tea, “Why have you not come to see me?”

“Celestia said you were still working,” I said as my teacup morphed into a mini Celestia that nuzzled and humped my finger before I crushed her and put my hand down.

“I was, but you still could have seen me.”

“Hey, I was just going by what Celestia said. Speaking of which, next time she tries to get out of work by dumping it on you, feel free to say no.”

“Do not worry,” Luna said as she waved a hoof dismissively, “I was more than willing to help. I have been doing so little since my…”

“Your return from banishment,” I finished for her, making her look at me incredulously, “I know everything about you, remember?”

“Even the reason why I was banished?” she asked with curious eyes.

“Yep, and I gotta say, I don’t blame you for getting upset, but that doesn’t really justify your behavior.”

“I know,” she said as she looked down at her teacup sadly, “I try to make up for my mistakes everyday.”

“Well, there’s no need to go that far,” I said as a crude scene of the Mane Six blasting Nightmare Moon with the elements played before us, “so you tried to keep the world in an everlasting night, big deal. Everyone makes mistakes, and Celestia’s already forgiven you, so why beat yourself up about it?”

“But all of my subjects hate me,” Luna muttered as she swirled a hoof around the rim of her cup.

“Well, that’s not true. I can think of a few that don’t hate you, and one that loves you,” I said as the rest of the Mane Six appeared around Twilight and started making a ruckus, causing Twilight to get upset and scold them.

“The elements did become my first friends when I returned, but who is the one that loves me?” Luna asked as she looked at me. I simply smiled at her as she stared at me for a moment.

“Y-you love me?” she asked as she blushed.

“Of course. I love all you girls,” I said as I waved a hand at the six who all stopped their shenanigans for a second to smile at me be starting up again, “but if I’m honest…” I leaned in closer to Luna as I covered the side of my mouth.

“You’re one of my favorites,” I whispered making the princess blush some more. As I sat up, I looked at the six and saw them all staring angrily at me before they turned their heads sharply and disappeared. All of them left except for Twilight who shook her head with a little smirk before sitting on her cushion and getting back to her book.

“I didn’t tell you last time, so it’s a good thing we didn’t meet today… yesterday… whatever,” I said, grabbing Luna’s attention.

“What is it?”

“Well, Cadence helped me actually realize it, but every time I meet someone, I must be doing something to them. I don’t know what I’m doing, but I’m pretty sure it’s affected Celestia too,” I said as said princesses appeared before us, all smiles.

“What have you done to her?” Luna asked cautiously.

“Nothing bad I’m sure, but whatever it is, I don’t want you to be affected by it either. So we probably shouldn’t meet in person, just in case.”

“Hmm, did this spell work on my niece?” Luna asked as she rubbed her chin.

“Hmm, I don’t know,” I answered and Cadence shrugged, “It didn’t really seem like it, but then again, I was really trying not to affect her, soooo…”

“So, what?” Luna asked as she looked at me and saw the dumb face I had on, “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I just feel really good right now,” I sighed as Cadence and Twilight disappeared and Celestia winked at me before she did the same, “Oh no…”

“What is it?” Luna asked as she looked around the fading room, “Are you having another nightmare?”

“N-no,” I gasped, “I… I gotta go.”

“A-alright,” she replied as she started to fade, “Farewe-”

…

“Oh my god,” I moaned as I slowly woke up and put my hands on my face, “what is going onAHH!” I shivered as I felt a familiar feeling below my waist and gripped the blankets hard. What I think is happening, better not be… I looked around me and couldn’t find Celestia anywhere in her dimly lit room. I think it is happening… I nervously looked down and saw a figure bobbing up and down under the blankets.

“Ah… damnit,” I said breathlessly as I lifted the covers off of me and revealed Celestia with my dick in her mouth. Pausing for a second to look up at me, she pulled herself off of me.

“Ah, good morning, Alex,” she greeted as she smiled warmly at me, “I trust that you slept well?”

“Uh, y-yeah,” I replied as I tried to sit up, but she kept my legs pinned under her, “what uh, whatcha doin there?”

“Oh, this?” she said as she nudged my hard-on with her nose, “I noticed that you too were a little pent up, so I took it upon myself to relieve you. I know how you stallions get when my sun starts to rise.”

“Oh…well, it’s not like I don’t appreciate it, but it totally isn’t necessary,” I said awkwardly as I avoided eye contact.

“Nonsense. You helped relieve me of my stress last night,” please don’t say it like that, “I only thought it fair that I help you with yours. Besides, I think I’m almost done.”

“What?” I asked before she put me back into her mouth. I sighed in pleasure as I dropped my head back onto a pillow and understood what she meant. I was about to explode and I fought with all my might to hold it back, but a little voice in the back of my mind was trying to reason with my conscious. … I know I’m already in this situation, but I can’t just give in… Sure she might want it, but then again she might actually not… I can live with blue-balls, at least for a little bit… Well, I guess this once-

“Princess?” a voice called from outside, “Are you up yet?” Celestia moaned in annoyance, the vibrations nearly pushing me over the edge before she released me again.

“Yes. Give me a moment and I’ll be right out,” she replied as she got off of me, hopped off the bed, and sauntered over to her bathroom. I just lay on the bed as I regained my senses and slowly calmed down and by the time she came back out, I was back to my regular, naked self.

“Well, it seems our time together is over, Alex,” she said as she trotted over to me and I sat up.

“Yeah, bummer,” I replied as I swung my legs over the side of the bed and rubbed my face, “well, I guess I’ll head back to Ponyville, then.”

“You could stay a little bit longer,” she said as she batted her eyes at me, “you could spend the day with me and see what the life of a princess is like.”

“I think I already have a pretty good idea, thanks,” I said as I stood up and stretched my back, “besides, I said I would meet up with Cadence at some point.”

“I see… Take this then,” she said as she floated a bag of bits into my hands, “use this to buy a ticket.”

“Thanks. I’ll pay you back at some point,” I said as I looped the string around my wrist.

“No need. I’m simply helping out a friend,” she said with a smile.

“Heh, alright, thanks.” We both walked over to and out the door where a trio of maids waited with shocked faces when they saw me walk out. Celestia beckoned me forward with a hoof, so I stepped up and wrapped her in a hug as she did the same with her wings. Right as I was pulling away, she quickly locked lips with me, surprising the maids and me as she held it for a few seconds.

“Until next time,” she said as she turned and trotted down the hall. I stood and watched her go for a few seconds before I shook my head and looked around.

“So how do I get out of here?” I said to myself before I noticed the three maids still standing next to Celestia’s door as they stared at me with their mouths wide open, “Hey, which way is it to Princess Cadence’s room?”

“Uh,” one of them mumbled after a few seconds of silence, “S-she’s probably eating breakfast, right now…”

“Oh, that makes sense,” I replied as I scratched my head, “and which way is it to the dinning room again?”

“T-two lefts and a right,” another answered as she pointed behind me.

“Thank you ladies,” I said as I gave them a smile before turning and leaving, “oh, and you might want to open a window in there.” As I walked down the halls that were now changing back from Luna’s night theme to Celestia’s day, I passed by a door that had Luna’s cutie mark on it as well as two of her night guards standing in front of it. I stopped and looked at the door for a second before stepping up to it and having the guards cross their spears in front of me.

“No pony is allowed entry into Princess Luna’s chambers,” one said.

“If you wish to speak with her, come back to the throne room during night court,” the other picked up.

“I figured as much,” I said as I took a step back, “can you just give her a message for me?” The two looked at each other for a second before turning back to me.

“I suppose we can do that.”

“Great, just tell her Alex said hi,” I said simply before saluting the two and turning away, “keep up the good work you two.”

“Who the hell was that?” the one stallion whispered as I walked.

“I don’t know, but did you see his dick?” the other mare said, “it’s all out and everything.”

“Yeah, kind of hard to miss that. It’s disgusting.”

“I don’t know, it’s kind of fascinating…” I chuckled as I continued my walk down the long halls; making sure to keep in mind how many corners I turned. As I was turning the last right, I bumped into someone, sending us both to the floor.

“I’m sorry, are you alright?” the other person and I said at the same time, making me look up and see Cadence sitting on her butt in front of me.

“Alex!” she said, sounding pretty surprised.

“Hey, Princess,” I said as I quickly stood up and offered her a hand, “I was just looking for you.”

“What a coincidence,” she said as she put a hoof in my hand and I pulled her up, “I was just about to go ask Auntie about where you were.”

“Well, I’m here. So do you want to have that talk now, or…”

“Yes, that would be great,” she smiled, “let’s go to the castle gardens and have tea.”

“Lead the way,” I said as I stepped to the side and followed her. We walked in complete silence for the few minutes it took to get to the gardens, but it wasn’t an awkward silence for some reason. I felt strangely comfortable in the Princess’s presence, despite how weirdly comfortable I’ve become with being naked. When we walked out into the lush garden, I noticed that the early morning rays of sun seemed to be a little bit brighter than yesterday’s. As we walked over to a stone bench, I noticed the statue of Discord over a hedge in the back that seemed to almost be staring at me. Yeah, I’m not even gonna think about that…

“Please, have a seat,” Cadence said as she took up her own offer and sat on the bench. I sat my bare ass a foot away from her, wanting to give her some space, but once I was comfortable she scooted closer to me until we were touching.

“Uh, so-”

“Tea?” she asked as a servant appeared out of nowhere with a serving tray holding a tea set on her back.

“Uh, thanks,” I said as Cadence floated a cup over to me. We sat in silence for a little longer after the server trotted away and we sipped on our tea.

“So, Alex,” Cadence finally started, “tell me about the strange things that’ve been happening to you and those around you.”

“What?” I asked, not getting what she was talking about for a second, “Oh, right, the spell or whatever I’m doing to people.”

“Yes, I want to understand what’s going as much as you do,” she said as she scooted closer and rested her hooves on my lap.

“Okay… well, to put one part of it simply, I can’t keep my thoughts in my head,” I started as I took off my hat and set next to me, “and the other part is that those thoughts seem to affect those they’re directed at. I think I explained this much to Twilight, but every time I say something nice to someone, I really don’t mean to say it. I’m thinking it, but I just can’t seem to keep it there in my thoughts. But it feels like I’m saying it not just because it’s how I really feel… but because I think it’s something that person needs to hear.”

“Hmm,” Cadence hummed as she sipped her tea, “and how have those ponies reacted?”

“Well, I haven’t seen all of them individually after I’ve said what I said, but for the ones I have seen, they’ve taken it differently…” I probably shouldn’t give her specifics…

“Can you tell me the specifics of what happened?”

“I probably shouldn’t, for their sakes, not mine,” I said as I sipped the last of my tea.

“Please, Alex,” Cadence pleaded, “if you tell me, I might be able to find a way to help you.”

“Well, I’m not too worried about myself, but… whatever,” I sighed as I looked down at my teacup and found it was refilled at some point in the last few seconds, “so, the first one I noticed it really affected, was Twilight.”

“Twilight Sparkle?”

“Yeah. Though it took a little while for it to… manifest I guess, she definitely changed, but it was only for a little bit.”

“What happened?”

“When we got back from my tour of Ponyville, she jumped me and implied that she was going to do… something to me,” I said as I blushed slightly, “but after that was interrupted, she’s only been really affectionate, which I don’t think is strange now after meeting more ponies.”

“I see,” Cadence hummed, “have there been any more, extreme cases?”

“Well, a step above that would be what happened with me and Pinkie Pie.”

“The element of laughter?”

“Yeah. Her and I were kind of, under the influence of… well that doesn’t matter, but she was making-out with me when Twilight was in the room. She was pretty aggressive about it and even when Spike came in and interrupted us, she wanted to keep going.”

“That definitely is more extreme,” Cadence muttered into her cup as I’m pretty sure I saw that her cheeks were a little pinker than usual, “I hate to ask, but was there anything more than that?”

“Uh, y-yeah,” I stuttered as I put my hat back on and tried to hide my face, “w-when I went to visit Rarity; yes, the element of generosity, she uh… she kind of gave me a blowjob.”

“A blowjob!” the princess exclaimed, making the nearby birds fly away.

“Keep it down!” I whispered as I covered her mouth, “out of everyone, I’m pretty sure she’d be the one to actually die of embarrassment.”

“Mhmm,” Cadence muttered through my hand before I removed it, “I’m sorry. It’s just so surprising.”

“What? That people give blowjobs?”

“No, I know about that. It’s just surprising that she of all ponies would do something like that.”

“Yeah, I get what you mean. She totally doesn’t come off as that sort of person.”

“Hmm, speaking of which,” Cadence said, making me look at her, “you make it sound as if you’ve known her for a while, even though you only got here, what, two days ago? As a matter of fact, you make it sound like you know a lot of ponies.”

“Ah, I see where you’re going with this,” I said as I nodded thoughtfully, “but I’m afraid that’s something I can’t tell you about. I will admit that I know a lot about this world and a few ponies here, but I won’t- no, can’t tell you how.”

“Why not?”

“I just… I promised I wouldn’t hurt anyone while I’m here, and that info might be too much for some. That or you simply won’t believe me,” I explained as I laid a hand on her back. She turned and looked at my hand for a second before turning back and talking again.

“Alright, I’ll trust you. So, is there anything else?”

“Uh… no?”

“Okay, well, can you think of anything that ties everything together?” she asked as she got a little more comfortable next to me, “Like, something that happened before each of those events?”

“Hmm,” I hummed as I thought for a second, “well, when I met everyone that I think I affected for the first time, we looked in each others eyes up close before I said the thing that I think flipped their swtch. Everyone except for you.”

“Hmm… Well, do you want to try?” she asked as she looked me in the eyes, but I quickly looked away.

“No! I don’t want whatever this is effecting you!”

“Well, I won’t really know what’s going on unless I experience it for myself,” she counters as she stands up and tries to put herself in my line of sight.

“No!” I said as I tried to fight her off, but once again her superior strength wrestled me to the ground and onto my back. But like an idiot, I realized then that I could just close my eyes as she sat on me and held my head still.

“Please, Alex! I’m doing this for you!” she said as she tried to get her magic to pry my eyes open, but failed pretty easily.

“And I said I don’t care about me!” I countered as we sat still for a moment.

“Then what about everypony else?” Cadence asked, “What if this gets worse and every time you meet somepony, they act differently from what we expect? What if instead of becoming attracted to you, they just lose their minds and attack others? Do you want that?”

“…No, I guess not,” I muttered like a kid getting scolded by his parents.

“Then just look at me,” she said softly as she let go of my head. With a soft sigh, I opened my eyes and looked into her pretty purple orbs. We sat like that for a few seconds, waiting for me to say something, but I never did.

“Anything?”

“Oh, I’m definitely getting something, but I can actually hold it in for once.”

“Wha- don’t hold it back!” she said as her brows furrowed, “Let me have it!”

“Oh I would,” oops, almost let it out there, “but you have a husband and I don’t want to disrespect that.”

“Really?” she asked incredulously, “That’s what’s holding you back?”

“Yeah, surprisingly,” I said as I caught her off guard and lifted her off of my chest and just sat her in my still bare lap, “I guess the fact that, a: it’s pretty disrespectful to hit on someone when you know their in a relationship, and b: he could probably kick my ass if he found out.”

“*Sigh*, well, I guess- wait… What do you mean ‘probably’ kick your butt? Shining could totally take you!” she said as she stood up, confusing me.

“I mean, yeah. He might be able too,” I said as I got up and sat back on the bench, “I mean, you just proved what I thought was the case with me and magic a second ago.”

“And what’s that?”

“That it has next to no effect on me. Only those with really strong magic like Twilight and Celestia have managed to do anything to me, but even then it didn’t last very long or was very effective.”

“Even if that is the case, he’s still a lot stronger than you,” Cadence countered as she took a step closer to me.

“Yeah, maybe, but the only one’s who’s strength I’ve seen first hand are alicorns, so you already have an advantage. Besides, I know the weaknesses of each of the pony races.”

“Oh do you now?” she asked as she got a foot away from my face, a playfully angry look on her face.

“Yeah,” I said as I flicked the tip of her horn, making her stumble back onto her butt and hold her horn for a few moments.

“Fine, you win this hypothetical round,” she pouted cutely after she recovered and she hopped back up onto the bench, sitting right next to me again, “but anyway, I think I have an idea about what’s going on.”

“Already?” I asked as I put my hand on her back again.

“Yeah. I think…” she paused dramatically as she looked at me blankly.

“What?”

“Well, you don’t have a cutie mark, do you?”

“No. My people don’t get them when they find out what their special talent, purpose, or personality trait is,” I explained before I pointed behind me, “though, I do have this tramp-stamp of a heart.” Cadence tilted her head to the side for a second before getting up and looking behind me at my back.

“That’s not a cutie mark?” she asked as she sat back down.

“No, I got someone to draw that on me as a joke… it didn’t pay off… and it doesn’t come off…”

“Oh… well, what I was going to say, was that maybe your special talent has something to do with love,” she said as she smiled at me and I just stared blankly back.

“No offense, but I seriously hope that isn’t the case.”

“And what is wrong with the idea of love?” she asked, sounding hurt.

“Nothing! I just thought that my special talent or whatever would be something either more significant or absolutely boring and unnecessary.”

“Well, I can understand wanting to be an important pony,” Cadence said with a sagely nod, “but why the other? Why would you want to be insignificant?”

“So that I don’t take the spotlight from others, I guess,” I answered as I scratched my face embarrassedly, “I always thought that my life was pretty insignificant, so I figured that if I had to have some part in society, I would either take the responsibility off of others so their lives are easier, or I would just play absolutely no part in anyone’s lives at all so I wouldn’t get in the way.”

“…Wow, Alex… that’s so-so-”

“Depressing? I know, but I promise I’m not depressed,” I said with a smile as I rubbed her back, “I don’t have suicidal thoughts or anything and I went to a doctor and he said I don’t have depression, so… I guess the more appropriate word to describe this would be sad.” We sat in silence for a little bit as the princess rubbed my leg comfortingly and I rubbed her back thoughtfully.

“So… got any solutions to my little problem?” I asked as I nibbled on a cookie the server from earlier brought over.

“No, not yet,” she replied as she nibbled on her own pastry, “I think I’ll need to see these interactions first hoof.”

“So, what? You’re going to follow me around and see what happens?”

“Hmm, that’s not a bad idea,” she murmured.

“Wait, I was just jo-”

“I wanted to visit Twilight anyway,” she said as she hopped off of me and started to leave, “if we hurry, we can catch the twelve o’clock train.”

“Uh, alright,” I said hesitantly as I followed her out of the garden. We quickly hurried through the castle and to the gates where a chariot was already waiting for us.

“Come on,” Cadence said as she hopped on.

“Yeah, I’m not getting on that if it’s flying,” I said as I stood a safe two yards away.

“What? Are you afraid of heights?” she asked teasingly.

“Yeah,” I answered plainly.

“Really?” I nodded, “Oh, I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright. It’s a stupid phobia that I have no idea how I got. But, like, can’t they just run us to the train?”

“They could, but we might not make it. It’d 11:45 right now.”

“And when’s the next train?”

“Six.”

“Argh,” I groaned as I paced around in a circle.

“What if I promise to catch you if you fall?” Cadence comforted.

“It would have been better if you just said I wouldn’t fall at all,” I replied I clenched my fists.

“Oh, well, you can hold my hoof if you want.”

“Would you really let me do that?” I asked as I looked at her pleadingly.

“Of course,” she said softly as she patted the spot next to her, “it’ll be fine.”

“Argh… fine. What the hell,” I said as I got on and held the hoof Cadence held out to me, “I’m sorry if I end up hurting you.”

“Don’t worry about it,” she replied sweetly before turning to the guards driving the death box, “to the train station, and be as careful as you can.”

“Yes, princess,” one said before they both looked back at me and smirked.

“Wait, I changed my-” was all I said before the cart took off at what had to be Mach speed 10. My left hand clenched the shit out of the railing on the cart while my other threatened to break the princess’s hoof. Luckily, we were only in the air for five minutes before we landed at the station.

“Alex, we’re here,” she said as she tugged on her strangled hoof, “you can relax now.” I quickly let go of her before I wiggled my fingers out of the hand shaped indent I left on the chariot. Without saying a word, I stepped off the cart and walked around to the snickering guards who tried to suppress their giggles as they looked up at me.

“A-are you a-alright, s-sir?” the one on my left asked as a tear threatened to fall from his eye, “W-we tried to be as care-” He couldn’t finish his sentence as my right fist flew across his face, his broken jaw making a sickening crack. The sheer force of the punch managed to break the harness connecting him to the cart and he flew through the air before skidding to a stop a few yards away. The other guard watched the whole thing with a dropped jaw before looking back to me and starting to shake.

“Relax,” I said as I massaged the pain out of my knuckles, “I’m not gonna hit you. One of you still needs to be conscious to bring the other back to the castle. Now, get out of here.” The guard nodded furiously before fumbling with his harness for a second and rushing over to his partner who was making a small pool of blood on the ground. He quickly dragged and tossed him onto the chariot before hooking himself back up and turning the cart around. He was about to leave when Cadence stopped him to talk to his barely conscious partner.

“You deserved that,” she said to him before he finally went out. Cadence nodded to the other and he took off galloping down the street towards the castle.

“I’m sorry you had to see that,” I told the princess as she walked back over to me.

“And I’m sorry my auntie’s guards are not disciplined enough,” she said as she started to walk to the ticket booth and I followed, ignoring the gawkers, “I’ll be sure to tell her about this.”

“That’s alright,” I said with a frown, making her turn back to me with an angry expression, “I’m sure they’ll both have enough to tell the others. Besides, the fear of expecting Celestia to come and have a word with them will keep them on edge for a while.”

“I guess you’re right,” she said before facing forward and buying us tickets that we turned right around and gave to the conductor before getting on the train. Apparently, on every train there’s a princess car that’s outfitted with food and drinks, so I had that to look forward to on the four-hour ride back to Ponyville.

“So,” the princess started after she got comfortable in her seat and I looked through the cabinets behind the bar, “you just might actually be able to beat Shining.” I snorted at her comment as I rolled my eyes and pulled out a bottle of champagne, somewhat surprised that they even had actual alcohol.

“Want a drink?” I asked as I looked for glasses.

“I’d love one,” she replied right as the train blew its horn and started to pull away from the station. After putting the bottle in a bucket of ice, I brought it over to our seats where I poured each of our glasses. I was about to just go ahead and start drinking, when Cadence coughed lightly, bringing my attention to her and her raised glass.

“Ah, right. A toast,” I said as I too raised my glass, “to…”

“To friendship,” Cadence said.

“And love,” I added with a smirk before clinking our glasses. Thanks to the large supply of alcohol, the trip actually ended up being pretty fun. By the time we got to our second bottle, Cadence had become tipsy and started telling me all kinds of things I didn’t know, or want to know, about her, Shining Armor, Celestia, and even Twilight. The only thing I actually managed to remember, because I got pretty drunk right after, was that Shining’s sterile for whatever reason, so the two couldn’t have a kid of their own. Why she decided to tell me this specific and pretty private detail is beyond me, but I offered her the options I could think of: adoption and donation.

She said they didn’t want to do adoption because when they went to an adoption center, all of the little fillies and colts looked so cute and desperate that they couldn’t decide on which one to take. She also said that they want the kid to be related to at least one of them, which made me think of donation. Apparently, sperm donation isn’t a thing here, so she was baffled by the idea, but once I slurred through an explanation, I’m pretty sure she was down for it, but I don’t remember because I blacked-out by that point.

Two hours later, I somehow woke up sober, but with a pretty bad headache. I guess there’s less alcohol in their drinks… or something. As I slowly came to, I found Cadence spread out on top of me, snoring away.

“Hey, Cadence,” I said as I shook her lightly, “we’re here.”

“No we’re not,” she groaned as she spun around and hugged me.

“Yeah we are,” I said right as the train horn sounded making my head pound, “See?”

“Alright, I’m up, I’m up,” she said as she crawled off of me with her eyes still closed. When she went to stand, her legs collapsed under her and she fell on the floor.

“… I don’t think I can walk,” she moaned.

“I got it,” I said as I slowly stood and threatened to also fall over, but quickly caught myself. Picking up the surprisingly light princess, I stepped out of the car and into the tranquil evening air of Ponyville. Slowly, but surely, I navigated my way through town and to the library and strangely, even with my hung-over senses, I got the feeling that I was being followed as soon as I entered town. When I got to the library, I pounded on the door, making Cadence and me both wince in pain.

“I’m sorry, but the library’s closed for the day,” Twilight’s voice called from the inside.

“But it’s only like, 4:30,” I called back and heard a gasp before the door swung open.

“Alex!” Twilight exclaimed.

“Twilight, please keep it down,” I muttered.

“Cadence? What are you doing here? And why are you with Alex?" Twilight asked as I stepped inside.

“Hi, Twilight,” the princess muttered as she waved a hoof without opening her eyes, “I came to see you, of course. Alex, put me down for a second.”

“Alright,” I said as I put Cadence on her hooves, and she still didn’t open her eyes as started to do her little thing with Twilight. The cringe was almost so unbearable that I puked right then, but I managed to hold it down and catch Cadence before she fell over again.

“Can we get some water, Twilight?” I asked as I dragged my feet over to the couch.

“Sure, one second,” she said before trotting into the kitchen. I sat Cadence down first before I flopped back with a huff. As soon as I did, she climbed into my lap and flipped over onto her back, presenting her belly to me. Unable to resist the urge to rub it, I did and made her sigh in relief.

“Thank you,” she said with her eyes still closed. I focused on my breathing to keep myself from puking before Twilight showed up with two big glasses of water.

“Thanks,” I said as I took one out of her magic and was about to drain it before I stopped, “can I get a bucket or something?”

“Uh, sure,” Twilight said as she turned around.

“Quickly, please?”

“Right,” she said as she hurried back into the kitchen and came back a few seconds later with a metal bucket and gave it to me.

“Thanks,” I said before I promptly vomited my guts out. Once I was done, I felt a million times better and held it a little past knees as Cadence turned her head and let it out too. Twilight turned her head in disgust as we did our thing before cautioning a glance when we stopped making noises. She took a few steps back as she magiced the bucket out of my hands and walked back to the kitchen.

While she was gone, I finally drained my glass of water before taking the other one and slowly pouring it down Cadence’s mouth. Twilight returned right as the princess finished her glass and sighed contently.

“So… what happened to you two?” Twilight asked as she took her usual cushion in front of us.

“Nothing, just had a little too much to drink,” I answered as I leaned my head back and closed my eyes, “it was a long trip.”

“I see. And what happened to your clothes?”

“Things, Twilight. Things.”

“Okay… well, it’s a good thing you came back.”

“Why?”

“Well, each of the girls want you to go and meet them as soon as possible.”

“Uh, did they say why?”

“No. They just said to go find them in their usual places when you have the time.”

“I see,” I replied as I opened an eye to look down at Cadence and found her doing the same thing to me, “I’ll get right on that then.”

“Are you two hungry?”

“No. I just need to lay down for a bit,” I answered.

“Yeah, me too. Sorry, Twilight,” Cadence added.

“It’s fine, I understand.”

“We’ll hang out tomorrow, alright?” Cadence said as I picked her back up and walked to the stairs.

“Alright. Good night,” she replied, making me stop midstride and walk back to her, “What’s the matter?”

“Nothing. Night, Twilight,” I said before I kneeled down and kissed her on the cheek. Ah, I was almost starting to miss this weirdness. I quickly stood back up before walking back to and up the stairs to Twilight’s room. I found my pile of pillows right were I left it and carefully put Cadence down before I laid down next to her. As I did, she quickly slid over and onto me, cuddling close to me.

“Okay, I didn’t want to ruin this, but why are you all over me? Literally, I mean,” I asked as I fought the urge to start petting her.

“Does it bother you?” she asked, sounding a little hurt as she looked at me with sad eyes.

“No, I just thought that everyone’s clinginess to me was because of whatever I did to them, but since I didn’t affect you, I didn’t think you’d be like this,” I quickly explained.

“Well, ponies in general are pretty friendly,” she said as she rested her head on my chest, “but I do find myself liking you more than most.”

“Why’s that?” I asked as I gave in and started rubbing her back.

“I think part of it is because you’re so honest, despite that being one of the things wrong with you, as weird as that sounds. It’s refreshing to have somepony treat you like a normal pony for once.”

“I see…”

“That might be one of the reasons Auntie Celestia likes you,” she added.

“Yeah, maybe,” I muttered as the memories from my last encounter with the solar princess flooded my mind. Yeah, that and a few other things…

“Anyway, what a coincidence,” Cadence started.

“What is?”

“That all the elements want to meet with you. Because of that, I’ll be able to gather the information I need to prove my hypothesis.”

“Uh, should we get Twilight to help?” I asked.

“Why?” Cadence asked as she sat up and looked at me, “Isn’t she affected too?”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure she is, but you said hypothesis and that made me think of science… which made me think of Twilight,” I explained.

“Hmm, I see what you’re saying, but I think it’ll be best if we leave that stuff to me. Twilight is a very smart and bright mare, but I think she overanalyzes things sometimes in her need to categorize and have everything make scientific sense,” Cadence said as she put her head back down, “besides, love rarely make sense anyway.”

“So why are we bothering with any of this then?”

“For love’s sake, of course!” she said as she pounded a hoof on my stomach, making me sputter, “Oh, sorry!”

“It’s fine,” I giggled lightly as she rubbed my stomach with a hoof, “but for love, huh? That’s probably the most cliché thing ever, but I like it.”

“Good. I would have had to knock some sense into you if you didn’t,” she replied with a smirk.

“I think you’ve put enough sense into me since I’ve met you,” I smirked, “you know, with the shaking, and the yelling, and the wrestling-”

“Alright, I get it!” she said as she buried her head into my chest, tickling me and making me laugh, “That’s not funny!”

“N-no, you’re tickling me,” I said as I tried to suppress my giggles, “I’m extremely ticklish, so don’t.”

“Extremely ticklish, huh?” she replied as she looked up at me with a sinister grin. Probably shouldn’t have told her that… And I shouldn’t have because she then proceeded to tickle the shit of out of me, almost literally until I flipped her off of me and retaliated, my more nimble fingers doing a better job than her hooves. The battle went on for a good ten minutes as we rolled around the room, probably knocking shit over in the process before we stopped with her laying on top of me as we panted.

“Y-you might have Shining beat in something else now,” she commented through her breaths.

“Let’s hope the list stops there,” I panted, “the last thing I need is you falling for me the old fashioned way.”

“That won’t happen,” she replied curtly.

“Ouch, but good. Luckily, this definitely isn’t the first time I’ve been shot down. I’ve had my pride crushed by those greater than even you, Princess. So don’t go thinkin you’re too good for me.”

“Oh, really?” she asked with an amused grin.

“Naw, I’m lying. You’re probably the most beautiful female to put me down,” wait, what? “Oh, sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it,” she giggled as she cuddled up next to me, “I know you don’t mean it, but do at the same time. You don’t have to try so hard to hold back.”

“If you say so, Princess,” I said with a yawn.

“And please, call me Cadence,” she added as she caught my yawn, “Good night, Alex.”

“Night,” I replied as I slipped into dreamland. That night, I had dreams about home. My friends, my family, the tests I needed to take even though I’m not in school anymore. It was in my dreams that I really realized how much I missed them even though I’ve only been gone for a few days. It was also in my dreams that I realized Celestia had my phone and weed in my ripped pants and I hoped she didn’t do anything indecent with them. I later found out she did.