An Existential Nightmare in Equestria

Chapter 1: A Call in the Night

Music: http://www.listenonrepeat.com/watch/?v=cSqZZHhQa_I

I have a lot in common with the page I am writing this on. It too has been folded many ways. Folded like... Well I suppose there are subtle creases running through all of us, riding along the razor thin edge of what is possible. I still envy the page, though. It has the same species and gender it was born with, has never been struck by lightning, demolished a floor with its own face, or gotten stuck on an escalator. Alas, I think I am getting vague already. This is a story of madness and intrigue, of great self-discovery. It is the story of how I came to be so appallingly loved and accepted that I still shudder to think of it. It is my story, and the story of those who were swept up accidentally or otherwise in the wake of confusion I dragged behind myself for so long. So where do I begin? Even when you've only lived a short time, it's so difficult to tell where one tale ends and another begins. I suppose I'll start with Saturday morning.

*EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE* I heard a sound that made me queasy just thinking about it. A quick glance at the clock by my bedside showed it to be 1:13AM. "NO! Anything but this!" I screamed inside my head. I knew it could only be one thing: a very specific ring I had assigned to a very specific number. I hobbled out of bed and walked across the room to find my phone in its usual place on the desk, but I had missed the call. "Maybe it won't ring again..." I thought. *EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE* The phone screeched out its high-pitched alarm once more. Oh bother...

"Hello... Alfred?" The cheery voice of my boss chimed.

"Eh... morning Max." I managed to rasp out through my midnight stupor.

"Sorry to call you in the middle of the night, but one of the burn-in stands at East Rivermouth is reporting a UPS failure and you're the closest technician." He said apologetically.

"Really... on a Saturday?" I asked. I sounded a bit more exasperated than I would have liked.

"I know, but East is getting ready to ship high-energy X-ray apertures on Monday and they're not going to if the tests all fail this morning." He responded, keeping an air of authority.

I paused for a moment, feeling seriously bummed.

"Alright, I'm going. I hope my alarm code is still good."

"It is. And, Al...?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks, Al."

"Heh. Well. No problem, I guess."

I hung up the phone. My boss was perhaps one of the nicest people I regularly had to work with, but almost too much so. He was one of those people who'd be okay with anything and never get mad. Seriously... I bet I could have pushed the guy down the stairs, and he would have just smiled and apologized. (and then told me what to do, of course) I was really powerless to disagree with him, and so, in the blackened haze of the night I turned on the upstairs lighting and proceeded to the bathroom. "Gonna have to do something about that..." I thought as I stared at a grey cartoon character of my own design which was printed on my t-shirt. A polo shirt and matching tie pulled over it did the trick. I put on a belt and attached a BlackBerry along with every other conceivable type of electronic device to it. Car keys? Check. I took one last look in the mirror and tried to rub the bags out from under my eyes with little success, my early-twenties blonde male visage looking particularly resentful of being awake just after midnight on a Saturday.

I turned out the lights and proceeded down the stairs very quietly, not wanting to wake anyone. I was still living with my folks while I saved money for a house or an apartment. The relatively high cost of living in what constituted a vacation town meant that I would be saving for a long time. The very fact that I had managed to find a good job as a computer technician in such a place was a small miracle. It was an exciting job, too, with particularly interesting projects to be had (except for when they decided to call me on a Saturday morning).

Have I made it clear that I really, really, REALLY didn't want to go anywhere at 1AM? I didn't.

Of course, despite the way I was feeling I found my way through the darkness and out to my Nissan in the driveway. I put my luggage and test equipment on the passenger seat and turned the key in the ignition. It had just started pouring rain.

"You gotta shaaaaaaare! You gotta caaaaaaare! It's the right thing to do..." A VERY happy voice chimed from the stereo system. I had forgotten that I left my MP3 player plugged into the stereo. "It's a good thing no one else drives you, sweetie!" I said sarcastically as I tapped on the dashboard. That car really was my prized possession. It represented freedom (and didn't leak like the car I drove in high school). It cost me quite a lot, as well. After getting halfway down the back road I lived on I remembered to toggle the headlights and suddenly things got a lot easier. As the stereo cycled through the complete works of WoodenToaster, I came nearer and nearer to my destination.

Pinkie Pie on my radio... Sheesh... That reminds me of the time a client unexpectedly followed me out to my car to discuss something about their new workstation. I remember starting the car, checking the A/C, fooling with my water bottle, and then there was a knock on the window. I rolled it down as if by reflex. "You gotta sha----click" My hand shot to the power button like a dignity-seeking missile just as the radio kicked in. I smiled nervously and continued the conversation. I remember the whole thing. I could recount it, but it was boring. In a nutshell, no, there is no way to prevent other people from locking your computer if you leave it unattended.

I guess I'd always been a closet-geek when it came to cartoons. I loved anything cool or cutesy (preferably both) with an emphasis on anything with adorable talking critters. I wasn't picky in that I'd watch pretty much anything with pleasing animation, or characters, or just an interesting story. I always seemed to be immune to the youthfulness of certain shows. Oh, but then... then one fateful eve I stumbled across the holy grail of uncomfortably adorable cartoons and became a closet brony overnight. I woke up first thing every Saturday to catch the latest episode. There was something about happy, singing ponies that could bring me out of a funk even after a long soul-destroying week of paperwork and getting blamed for every equipment failure. I guess adorable cartoons had always been my escape vehicle from the pressures of the everyday and the mundane. Enough of this tangent, though.

After about an hour of driving a sign that read "East Rivermouth X-Ray Technologies Ltd." loomed in my blurry field of vision. I'd have known that place anywhere. It was easy to pick a parking space since nobody was in sight, so I unceremoniously overtook the nearest visitors' space and approached the front door after a lengthy fight with my laptop bag. "This is going to be a blast on no sleep at all." I thought to myself as I eyed the front door. After swiping my card I'd only have a minute to disarm the alarm system, or I'd be stuck apologizing to the police and the fire department and slamming my place of employment with a hefty fine. *beep* I was in the lobby, and the alarm terminal had begun issuing its warning chime. Uhh... I punched '9194' on the keypad. No luck. "Dammit!" I shouted aloud. I couldn't help but chuckle a bit and salute the 'Don't Panic' sign someone had positioned over the alarm terminal. Nervously keying '9094' on the number pad cooled my nerves as a calming 'DISARMED' flashed across the screen. Crisis averted! (...and to think that I thought the worst thing that could possibly happen was done for the evening)

The East Rivermouth X-Ray Technologies Ltd. campus consisted of several like buildings spread across the town. They were actually segments of independent technology companies which were bought out by a conglomerate. I worked for all of the segments as a mobile computer technician of sorts and although I was no engineer, I usually became quite familiar with the test equipment between facilities. Most of the systems designed to test or certify products were controlled by typical desktop computers, after all, and I was a sultan of computer hardware and the many flavors of Linux. If it isn't already obvious, it's very appropriate to say that I was, and still am, a nerd of great clout. If it had been any morning other than Saturday morning, I probably would have still been awake when the phone rang with my head buried in the glow of a terminal screen. Was I too quiet? Antisocial? (I hate that word!) ...and I really don't think so. I did nothing in my daily life but deal with people. People, people, people. Regrettably, and in retrospect, I think many of my friendships were forged out of necessity rather than just for the fun of it. I mean, having a lot of friends in the field was great, but a startling quantity of my relationships were just to do with my place of employment, not that I didn't have family members I was close to. It's funny how something right in front of your eyes can become a ghost of the past in double-time, but that's what it's like to speak of another world.

It was dark inside the lobby. I did the sensible thing and fumbled for the hallway lights. This was the largest of the three buildings which housed most of the offices as well as the main factory floor. As I walked in past the server room, *BOOOOOM*, a brilliant flash and a clap of thunder echoed throughout the place as the rain picked up. Thankfully the power decided to hold. We only had about 20 minutes on backup in case of an emergency. It was then that I realized just how soaked I had gotten from head to toe. I noted to myself that I would someday submit to owning an umbrella. Also, I was no wimp, but some places are just plain eerie when they're empty. The building was so busy during the day that it could have been likened to a mall. I rarely saw it in such a state of peace.

I shuffled tiredly past three blocks of offices before coming through the large double-doors leading to the manufacturing floor. This was the cool part of working for a science company. (In fact, just being there made me feel about 20% cooler, but it could have been more like 25.) After turning on the floodlights, I was left to behold a floor crowded with workbenches and tanks and flashing monitors. Almost every visible surface had a breadboard on it with some work of electronics half cobbled together. In fact, the state of some of the work seemed to suggest that the engineers were eager to get on with their weekends. ...and there it was: In the back corner of the room, I could see a large testing rig as well as hear the familiar squeal of a dead uninterruptible power supply. I hadn't gotten very close to this particular testing rig before, but it was already looking really cool! Cool, cool, cool. I'll say it again. It was like something out of a science fiction movie, except I was going to get to mess with it while I was half-asleep. A battery of 50 or so large x-ray tubes were stacked within a homemade mount about four feet off the ground. They were pointing down a long stretch of wall toward an array of sensors on the opposite side of the room and were boxed in by long, thin metal sheets running the entire length. A veritable umbilical cord of cables ran over and around a large semicircular desk with various computers and monitors on it. They were off, by the way: Undoubtedly a side-effect of having no power. It was then that I realized I'd forgotten to bring my radiation exposure badge. At least nobody was around to yell at me for it. (These systems were surprisingly safe to work on, as long as you were willing not to stick your tongue on anything important.)

I begrudgingly stuffed myself in the crawlspace behind the desk and reached about for the UPS. It was in almost as bad a mood as I was, and thus required some very foul language to come unplugged. The only problem with it was a dead battery so I found a replacement in the IT department. Isn't that just the way things always go? A ten-dollar battery was going to stop us from shipping one-hundred thousand dollars worth of tubes. Eventually I had the thing rewired and powered up the computers.

This is difficult for me to admit, but I think it's possible that I always spent a little too much time around computers.

So the thing was fixed. I had done my duty as a midnight runner and was feeling quite accomplished despite the solution being somewhat menial and silly. Of course, the tests were now stopped. I knew I couldn't just walk out of the place without getting the tests back in action no matter how desperately my head yearned for the sweet embrace of a pillow. Mark was the test engineer who built the stand. It would have been his head if the maiden voyage ended in a late shipment, so at least I would get the chance to pass on the gift of sleeplessness. "Oh Mark, you're gonna loooove me." I thought to myself as I keyed his number.

"Eh... What?" A tired voice mouthed on the other end of the line.

"Mark, this is Al with the IT department. Sorry to wake you up. I'm calling because your X-Ray test stand powered down in the night and I was called to fix it. It's just a battery thing, so don't worry. I'm sure nothing is wrong with the equipment." I began, very officially.

"What? What?!? You've got to be shittin' me! Right when things are down to the wire, EVERY TIME, it's your equipment that fails. You guys are never doing your jobs and-" An angry Mark shouted. At least he was awake now. While I was busy digesting how grateful he was for my midnight mission of mercy, I took the liberty of logging into all the computers at the stand.

"I'm logged in, by the way. Just waiting for instructions on how to restart the test." I said blandly, cutting him off in mid-rant.

"Well you're going to have to do this fast, so pay attention. It's your head if you blow up any of those tubes, Mr. I-can-fix-anything. This is a Linux system, so I'm going to have to hold your hand-" Mark began, condescendingly. I could almost see him twirling his villain mustache on the other end of the phone. Mark was relentless. I guess he was just naturally unlikable if I could wake him from a dead sleep and get this sort of treatment.

"Actually, I'm quite well-versed, thank you." I chimed.

"Whatever. Start by power-cycling all the DAQs. Turn all the meters off and then on again. Wait for them to zero out." He said. I walked about the test area and did as he requested.

"Now, the computer on the left is there just to read the test results. Everything here has to be in real-time, so we used separate computers for everything. Start 'testmon' on the system to the left." Mark added. My dialogue with the machine looked something like this:

TEST1 Login: root

Password: ****************

Linux 3.2.0-24-PAE x86_64

root@TEST1:~$ cd testmon

root@TEST1:~$ ./testmon

TESTMON V1.0ALPHA by Mark Alaconni (East Rivermouth X-Ray Test Services Ltd.) 2012

Calculating test vectors...

Initializing DAQ #1...

Initializing DAQ #2...

Initializing DAQ #3...

Initializing DAQ #4...

Please start the transmitter, and press any key to begin recording...

"Okay, it looks like it came up OK." I said. I swear I actually heard a sigh of relief from the other end of the call. A real emotion from him? Nah...

"So now you'll need to run my other program, 'xmit', on the right PC. It takes a file with random seed data as its input parameter. You'll have to find some junk to pass to it. Take the index page from a random website or something." Mark explained. He sounded actually nervous. Honestly, I wanted to just tell him off and storm back to bed at this point, but I knew better. Well, that's a bit of a lie. I thought I knew better. At any rate, my dialogue with the other machine went something like:

TEST2 Login: root

Password: ****************

Linux 3.2.0-24-PAE x86_64

root@TEST2:~$ cd xmit

I chuckled as I decided where I would get my seed data from.

root@TEST2:~$ wget http://equestriadaily.com -O random.dat

root@TEST2:~$./xmit --seed random.dat

XMIT V1.0ALPHA by Mark Alaconni (East Rivermouth X-Ray Test Services Ltd.) 2012

Reading random seed... OK

Hex Preview:

00000000   3C 21 44 4F  43 54 59 50  45 20 48 54  4D 4C 20 50  <!DOCTYPE HTML P

00000010   55 42 4C 49  43 20 22 2D  2F 2F 57 33  43 2F 2F 44  UBLIC "-//W3C//D

00000020   54 44 20 48  54 4D 4C 20  34 2E 30 31  20 46 72 61  TD HTML 4.01 Fra

00000030   6D 65 73 65  74 2F 2F 45  4E 22 20 22  68 74 74 70  meset//EN" "http

00000040   3A 2F 2F 77  77 77 2E 77  33 2E 6F 72  67 2F 54 52  ://www.w3.org/TR

00000050   2F 68 74 6D  6C 34 2F 66  72 61 6D 65  73 65 74 2E  /html4/frameset.

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--- 23000 bytes omitted ---

Generating random pool... OK

Checking serial link with receiving station... OK

Please check the transmit array and press any key to begin the test. ALWAYS STAY CLEAR OF X-RAY APERTURE WHEN IN OPERATION...

"It looks like we're ready to go, Mark." I said.

"Good! Now start both the sending and receiving stations at the same time. One system modulates a random signal from that array of X-Ray tubes, and the other tries to verify the integrity of the signal from sensors on the far wall. We've got clients doing some funky things with X-Rays lately." Mark replied. But suddenly... *BOOM* A huge clap of thunder made me jump out of the chair. It took me a moment to catch my breath.

"Uhh... *huff* Phew. Heh. We're OK. The system is still up." I managed to say. Mark was already cackling like a banshee on the opposite side of the call.

"Ahahaaaaa! Haa.... ha.... You. *gasp* You should have heard that scream. You screamed like a little girl, Al. I thought someone had snuck up behind you with a knife or something. I really wish I could have kept that on tape! You're a card!" He sputtered out in between fits of laughing. That really hit a nerve with me.

"Very funny, asshole!" I shouted, admittedly losing my cool. "Now that you're done having a blast at my expense, I guess I'll do the noble thing and save your ass anyway." I pounded the enter keys down on both computers like I was pounding into Mark's face. I did not see what I was hoping for:

Initializing power relay... OK.

WARNING: Expected response [ON], but got [*$0x043] instead.

Xmit failure...

Xmit failure...

Xmit failure...

"Hey, don't forget your place, little man! As far as I remember you were just an intern a couple years ago. Don't think you're irreplaceable enough to go around insulting the senior staff!" Mark's voice screeched into the phone. He was really getting hotheaded now.

"ME!?!? Maybe you shouldn't forget YOUR place! Aren't you supposed to design this stuff so it actually works?!?" I shouted, enraged. I described the error I was seeing on-screen while cursing the man under my breath.

"LOOK, JUST... DAMMIT! Just go over there and make sure the lines running to the back of the tubes are all in securely." He yelled.

"Are you sure I can do that while it's running?" I asked. I was seriously afraid to do it!

"Just do it!" Mark shouted.

I didn't want to, but I got right up behind the ominously buzzing array of fifty shielded X-Ray tubes and began to carefully nudge the connector leading into the back of each one. I had made it about halfway across the array when - *BOOM* - There was another clap of thunder, but this time something was wrong. I was twitching and jittering uncontrollably (and terrified). I couldn't move my arm! I couldn't let go of the cable! The lights were flickering as I fell backwards and took the whole energized X-Ray stand with me. *BOOM* There was another clap of thunder as I came face-to-face with the business end of the device. "This is it! Goodbye, nervous system!" I thought. I had taken not one indirect lightning strike, but two. Suddenly, there was a flash and a noise like I'd never heard before. Everything in my field of vision bleached white. And then... and... then... Well, that's the real question, isn't it? I can't really explain what happened next, but it was certainly something. I felt like I was falling, but faster than normal. Imagine jumping out of a plane and propelling yourself at the ground with a jetpack. That would feel sluggish.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"AAAAAAALFRED! ALFRED! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALFRED!"

The sound echoed in my head, but I couldn't tell where it was coming from. Splotches of blue and white were in my peripheral vision, but everything was so bright that I couldn't make out the details. Was I dead? If I was, than being dead was really scary. I felt that I couldn't move... like my consciousness was drifting away... but then.

*CRASH*

I... went through something. Something solid.

*KABOOOM*

I... went through something that was much more solid. Terrible pain. I had a headache not of this world. Shards of something flew everywhere.

*SPLASH*

I was... in water. I was paralyzed. I tried to call out for help but it was hopeless. I couldn't breathe, and it wasn't long before the last of the fight in me died down. I gulped cold water in a panic. Everything went black. Sweet calm at last. At least everything was calm again. Yes, calm...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Then... memories came to me.

"And it is with great pleasure that I welcome our valedictorian to the stand, on behalf of all these fine students and staff, to deliver his speech. May we see a bright light in both the past and the future!" A voice boomed out over a crackly speaker system.

I was at my high school graduation again?!?! Somehow? It felt like this was ages in the past, but yet it was so convincingly real. I was even nervous as I walked to the stand... or did I really? I just remember ending up there, as if not by my own free will. I unfolded a lengthy speech, looked at it for a moment, and then a feeling of sadness overtook me. I hurled the speech off the stage and climbed up on top of the podium. A slip of paper came out of hiding from a pocket close to my heart, and I read aloud my favorite poem:

""" Here's To The Crazy Ones. The misfits. The rebels. The trouble-makers. The round pegs in the

square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules, and they have

no respect for the status-quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify, or vilify them.

About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the

human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius.

Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world - are the ones who DO! """

~ Apple Computer

The audience broke into a roaring cheer as I stood up and relinquished the stage. It was perhaps the happiest day of my life. I really believed in that poem, once. I took some naive comfort in imagining that I could go anywhere or be anything! I was either very wrong, or very right...

The whole scene faded to white as I tried to step off the stage. I couldn't feel my legs. I was falling again, and there was this ringing everywhere like I had the worst hangover in all of recorded history. I desperately wished for the part of that old fantasy where I jumped in my rusty old car and drove off with the biggest smile on my face.

Oh, the noise! The chaos! It was too much!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Finally, there was peace again. I felt like my psyche had been through the washing machine. But... now I was waking up? I labored to open my eyes just a crack. Everything was a bright blur again. How could I even be alive after all that? I really thought it was the end.

"We have signs of movement! Keep watch!" A low, stern voice quipped out excitedly. Then, taking a more soothing tone it became very close to me. "Shh... don't open your eyes. Be still. You've been out for a long time. You were quite injured, but you're making a full recovery. Just be still. Don't go anywhere. Concentrate on my voice! Can you understand me?"

Moving at all was a colossal effort. Somehow I managed to wheeze out: "How... how long...?"

"I don't mean to alarm you, but three weeks." The soothing male voice replied.

"Did... ... ... I... ... ... crash?" I labored.

"Uhh... I can safely say that you did." The voice replied, in a very matter-of-fact way. Oh no! I must have splattered myself all over the road. I knew it! I was way too tired to have been all over town when my boss called me. It's not uncommon to have a memory lapse when something so traumatic happens. I must have crashed on my way to East Rivermouth in the middle of the night, but, no... I remembered things after that. The X-Ray tube test stand? Did I... get up from that? Did I try to drive home?

"My family? Do they know?" I asked. Talking was getting a little easier now. My voice sounded really weird, though. I guessed that I must have had fluid in my ears and a scratchy throat. It sounded way too high and sort of gritty/raspy.

"I'm... afraid... well, er... nopony has come to see you in all this time." The male voice replied, sounding sad. Huh? What the hell? That didn't even make any sense!

"Whoa, doc... I must be on... *very long pause* ...some real good drugs. Because you're not making any... sense..." I said.

"You're not on any drugs. You are, however, doing an exceptional job of coming out of a coma. Keep doing that." The male voice said, reassuringly. "Now rest. Just stop talking. Be still." I was scared, but it wasn't long before I drifted off again. This time, however, it was just a normal sleep. There were no terrifying existential nightmares to be had in it for now.

Time passed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was some strength inside me again! My eyes opened about halfway, and I could just barely perceive the outline of a brightly colored hospital room. (Was it too colorful?) My breathing was shallow and panicked, but it wasn't long before I felt someone lifting me up and propping me into a position somewhere between sitting and reclining. A damp cloth was swished across my face, but it felt really odd in a manner I couldn't put my finger on.

"It's good to see you've finally come to!" The familiar male voice from earlier chimed at me. I could see the man now... sort of. He was nothing but a fuzzy brown outline. Obviously he could tell I was squinting at him, because the next thing he said was: "Ah, pardon. You'd probably like to have these back. Curious spectacles, I must say. We could fix those eyes of yours easily, you know!" I tried to take the glasses, but... I couldn't move my fingers. I had to accept that both my arms must have been in casts. How terrible!

"Ha, sorry... I can't really pick them up with these casts on." I said, raising my arms. "...and I never really liked the idea of laser eye surgery. It's way too creepy for me. I'll keep the glasses."

"Laser? What's that? I speak of but a simple magical procedure! No fuss. But of course, it's the patient's decision!" He replied, slipping the glasses onto the bridge of my nose for me. My vision was clear once more.

I jolted and let out the loudest, highest, most insane shriek of pure terror anyone could imagine. I shouted and spasmed so violently that I flipped right off the bed and landed on my back in a pile of sheets. The man was... well... he wasn't exactly a man. The... thing that had been looking at me the whole time appeared to be a talking, brown unicorn. He looked quite startled and came closer to the edge of the bed.

"Look... p-ppp-p-p-please tell me that I'm on some weird stuff, Doc. Something is really wrong with me! I SWEAR you look just like a talking miniature horse right now! This is freaky." I yelled at him in hysterics.

"Oh dear. I see that you are still quite disoriented. Please do try to remain calm!" He started. "My name is Doctor Willcrest. I'll stay with you until you can make sense of things." Dr. Willcrest came over to me with an assistant and they both heaved me back up onto the bed. His assistant was... blue?!? Oh, this was too weird. I thought I was on a bad acid trip. He turned to his assistant and said: "You can leave us alone for a while, Minty."

"Please tell me this is going to wear off. I don't want to go everywhere thinking I'm talking to unicorns! They're not real!" I sputtered.

"I'm not sure where you could be from where they'd have pegacorns, but not unicorns... Uhh... but, I most certainly am a unicorn, miss." Willcrest replied.

"WHAT!?!" I shouted.

"Calm down, calm down. Here..." He said quietly. "Feel..." Willcrest gently grabbed my arm and pulled it up to his face so that I could feel the contour of his muzzle. "See? I'm quite real. There's nothing to be afraid of. You had quite a run-in with some of the local architecture, so it's very understandable that you're confused."

Oh, I was confused for sure! I said that he grabbed my arm. I didn't say what was on the end of it, or what I felt his face with. It was no cast and could only be described as a grey, smooth, almost featureless foreleg ending in a hoof. I instinctively snapped up and stared down at myself. I saw... smooth grey fur, and haunches, and a great quantity of spiky blonde hair. I put my... hooves... to my face, not realizing that I was whimpering and sputtering pathetically.

"It's okay, dear. You're quite unscarred from the accident! We've taken care of that. Look!" The doctor said, lifting a mirror to my face with great trepidation. He could feel just how unstable I'd become.

I freaked out when I saw my face in the mirror. There's actually a bit of a gap in my memory here. I was a bit hysterical, I suppose. I think Doctor Willcrest finally pinned me to the bed out of desperation and tried to calm me. I was shaking and covered in sweat when I was finally able to speak again.

"I'm... not me...." I whimpered.

"You mean you're not the same girl as on your shirt?" Willcrest asked, trying to hold back a chuckle of pity. I looked down to realize I was still wearing the shirt I had woken up with... the morning I was called to investigate the power problem at work. It sported an illustration of a grey pegacorn  done in the style of My Little Pony. I had made it jokingly in Adobe Illustrator one tired night, sort of as an effigy of myself. I wore it admittedly less than jokingly, as such an avid fan of the cartoon.

"I'm.... Query?" I managed to squeak out.

"Well, it's good that you remember your name! I suspect that more and more things will start to come back to you now! You know, when you were first brought in here, we couldn't wrestle that shirt off you to save our lives. You were clinging to it so desperately. Who wears such a thing whilst flying, anyway?" The doctor asked. He was starting to get very curious about my circumstances.

"I... I guess because I made it..." I replied.

"Really? How lovely. You must be quite the talent. Is that whatever, well, that means?!?!" He asked, pointing to the odd symbols printed on my flank. They read, quite literally: ":~$" (The trailing end of a BASH prompt in certain distributions of Linux.)

"Oh... that's going to be difficult to explain..." I said.

"Well, I don't doubt it!" Willcrest replied. He could see that I was getting nervous and fatigued again. "Look. I can see that you're quite stressed. How's about I close these blinds, you get some rest, and then later when you're feeling better we can go for a walk about the hospital wing. There's a lovely garden outside that's sure to lift your spirits."

I just stared at the brown unicorn as he left me all alone in the room. "Ehh... some sort of mild selective amnesia, I think." I heard him mutter outside the door.

I gave up on trying to process everything and sunk under the covers into a deep sleep once more. I don't know how I was able to sleep in such a state of existential panic, but it's safe to assume that I was very, very exhausted. Little did I know, it was only the tip of the iceberg. Next Chapter: Defense Attorney Creampuff Was Not Amused Estimated time remaining: 3 Hours, 14 Minutes