Welcome back … I know it’s been a couple of days since the last part, but I had some stuff to do. Your village needed to me to lead an overnight expedition and unfortunately for you and me, they wanted to stay longer than just one night.

Anyway, like I promised a few days ago, this chapter will be brighter for the most part. Thankfully, I didn’t have any mental breakdowns or fights to deal with so I can safely say that the overall mood, of this section of the story, is bright.

Let's get some questions first.

You there. What was the Discordian Era?

That’s easy, it was simply the time in which Discord ruled the world. It was mentioned at the museum I went to … I guess I forgot to actually call it by the name they applied to it. I can only imagine what it would have been like to live under that guy. Chaotic to say the least.

Since that was a quick question, I’ll answer a few more than usual. You next.

Why didn’t the pony’s words affect me, yet the ones directed at Luna did?

Call me protective - or for that matter - call me anything really, but I can handle verbal jabs for the most part. I’ve learned to tune out and ignore such things, and if they get up in my face about it, then I start getting snarky before being physical. What he said was not even bad compared to others I met in previous adventures. Sure, he was going after humans in general, but it was sheer stupidity and ignorance that accounted for that one. I’ve had others purposely attack me with words in order to get inside my head. They were much more effective.

As for the ones directed at Luna … well, I normally hate white knighting situations that hardly need it, but that was uncalled for entirely. She hadn’t spoken up or done anything. No, she was just attacked for being there. Maybe that’s what sets me off?

Next.

Why wasn’t I more affected by Cadence’s little act?

Heh, that’s a good one. Sure, if I was a hormone-riddled twenty year old again I would probably have been powerless in that situation, but trust me when I say that it takes a lot of willpower sometimes. That wasn’t the case there. I knew from the get go that something was up. Never in my life have I seen someone that straightforward, and I have seen some that are so blatant that they start propositioning after a single line of small talk.

Besides, to me those years are behind me. When I was nearly thirty, I happened to find myself in a settlement for a bit, hung up because of a storm. It wasn’t a very nice time spent, but I had a lot of almost hate sex then. Not hate towards the girls who were prostitutes but hate of myself. Still, sex was sex, and I more or less cleared it out of my system for good from then on. It caused a flashback one time, and I spent the rest of the night in a corner nearly pulling my hair out.

…

… Let’s move on.

How aerodynamic was Cadence?

…

…

Anyone else got a question about me tossing her off the balcony? Yes? Are alicorns as light as dogs?

…

Haha! I love these questions! Now these are the type of questions I like to answer! Silly things they are!

Alright, so Cadence was indeed rather light, and the assumption that she is as light as a dog is safe to assume. Though in retrospect, I believe a lot of it was due to the fact they could fly. If they weighed as heavy as … let’s say, a pony from our world or even a person, then there was no way they could fly with their wingspan. I mean, unless they utilized some sort of hack then they could, but even that sounds far fetched to think about. No, they were in essence more like birds in that aspect. Weighed less in order to fly and all.

As for the aerodynamics, well I was a little surprised by how much distance she got from my underhand toss. I expected her to just tumble over the railing or something like that, but she probably made it about three meters out from the balcony before doing a near straight plummet. I can only imagine what would happen if I decided to wind up and toss her from my shoulder or something like that.

Back to serious questions now.

What was the one thing I remembered most about that day?

You’d think it was the violent episode or the long wait with Luna till the next morning … yet it wasn’t. Hell, not even the prank was the best part, though it was the fucking funniest part.

No, the best part was the faces of all those guards who had bet money just to lose it all to me. They looked like they had just seen their moms getting fucked by a Princess, or something equally hilarious. You never forget someone’s face when you show them up beyond any doubt. So it’s basically impossible to forget a dozen or so faces that were the same. I only wish I could have said a snappy one liner to them … oh well.

Last question.

Am I surprised that my breakdown helped fix my relationship with Luna?

I was not aware it was broken until then … I mean, sure we had a ‘fight’ if you could call it that, but everyone has fights with people about something. If you can’t get angry at someone and then diffuse the situation later than perhaps you’re in with the wrong party. Not much more to say to that.

Alright, enough questions for today.

So, if you’ve noticed, I’ve been telling each segment more or less based on each day that passed. Well last time, I had to split it up since that day felt like it went on forever. In fact, I even had to end it in the middle of the night, despite the fact that there was no real break.

Well if I had continued, then you’d have been listening to me ramble into the night. So we’ll pick up near breakfast since as I said last time, Luna and I hardly talked that night, instead spending it in comfortable silence.

Evidently, when Luna came back after the sun rose, it was nearing breakfast. The sun had done a nice job in ushering in the new day, but to me it just felt like I was still enduring the previous day. All I needed to do was make it through another day before I could sleep soundly once more … probably one of my last sleeps in a perfectly safe environment.

“Do you wish to have breakfast?” Luna asked me before yawning slightly. Apparently even immortals needed their sleep every once in a while.

I sat up from the chair and popped my back a few times before gathering my stuff. Looking back, I was glad that in my fit of rage or whatever it was, I hadn’t drawn my weapon or instead of a knocked out guard there would have been a dead guard.

“Yeah, I guess I need to eat,” I said before following behind her, making our way across the observatory. Just before we got to the doors, I asked one last thing. “Does anyone else know of what happened?”

“No,” she replied. “I had thought on telling my sister, but it was never her problem to deal with. Only thing my guards know is that you knocked a corporal out with one punch. That will get you some respect.”

“Heh,” I simply replied before looking down at my feet while rolling my shoulders to get the kinks out of it. “Can you not tell anyone? This is something that no one needs to hear.”

She gave me a rather quizzical look at first before it morphed to a little bit of an annoyed look … then it finally settled on a sad one. Hell, she went through a full range of emotions at the request. As to why, I couldn’t understand since it seemed like a reasonable request. Yet in the end, she consented by giving me a small nod, followed by a deep sigh.

We ended up leaving the observatory immediately after that exchange with her leading me down to the dining room. While there were things I was going to miss about the castle, mainly the food, I wouldn’t miss wandering the halls … definitely wouldn’t miss wandering the halls.

Much like always, the walk to our destination was in silence, and I didn’t mind. Ever since last night, I didn’t feel much like talking … unfortunately, back then, I knew that I would have to interact with others no matter what I felt like. That's the burden of being an adult: having to deal with life no matter what you feel like doing.

When we reached the dining room, Luna walked in first, letting me catch a glimpse of the already pony-filled room. I stalled briefly and took a few deep breaths before making my way into the room, my eyes hidden behind my glasses and a small smile on my face, hopefully trying to convey a different attitude than what I was feeling.

I eventually said fuck it to my worries and just strode into the room despite everything, and took my seat where I normally did.

Rarely in my life have I ever walked into a room that had as much tension as that one did; you’d have needed an axe to cut the air. You think I might be kidding, but I wasn’t really.

I gazed around the table to take in the looks and actions of everyone there, and let’s just say that it was rather somber in ways. Every single one of them was quiet and trying their best to look away from me, especially Dash, who had her head cast down as though her hooves or something under the table was the most interesting thing in the world.

Of course, Gilda was a rebel to what was happening and was watching me the whole way, probably wondering if I was okay.

Right, so Gilda wasn’t the only one watching me, because there was still Luna and Celestia to count on. Luna was an obvious one, but Celestia was still watching me out of the corner of her eye. As to why she needed to keep an eye on me, I was stumped without a doubt. I could only wonder what she was thinking, and when I tried to contemplate such things I decided that my life was tough enough as it was.

“So … are we going to eat or anything?” I asked, breaking the tense silence, hoping to make someone at least laugh or something. Despite my mood, I knew better than to let it spread and fester.

There was no real answer to that, a few of them, mainly Gilda, Dash, and Applejack, were looking at me as though I had said something completely wrong or not addressed something. If the latter was the case, I knew what the problem was, but I felt no reason to address that again because I had already made my case the previous day.

“Don’t tell me that I missed breakfast,” I said, moving the one-sided conversation along. “I was just getting used to having it …”

“No, silly, we haven’t eaten yet! We wouldn’t eat without everypony and if we did, then that would just be rude and Grandma Pie always said that was a great way to lose a friend! Well that and telling secrets, spreading rumours, hurting them, and even trying to bring up a horrible, horrible past! Though now that I think about it why would that be a ‘great’ way? Wouldn’t it be a bad way?” Pinkie spoke up in her rambling way before going silent and taking up what I assumed was a pondering pose. I merely chuckled lightly at that, she was a good source of amusement to say the very least.

“All of that is true, Pinkie,” I said, breaking her out of her pondering pose. “Yet they can all be mended simply enough. Sure, some are caustic enough to refuse such an action, but most will often sweep it under the rug as though it never happened.”

She nodded and smiled. That was such a great way to approach life … well a normal life at least. Just nod and smile. Or as a certain band would have said, ‘smile and wave’.

Heh, little bit of an insider joke, only for the people who know what band I’m talking about.

Eventually the conversation died out once again; apparently Pinkie was the only pony who actually understood my message yesterday. Seriously, I thought I was going to be a downer there, yet somehow the ponies managed to outdo me even in that.

“Well, I don’t know what crawled up all of your asses and died, but I’m boycotting breakfast until we remove all this tension … seriously, I think I’m starting to choke on it here,” I said as I leaned forward onto the table and rested my chin on my crossed fingers. “I can sit here for a while, sure I haven’t eaten in a bit, but I’ve gone for longer without food. So who wants to start?”

More silence as heads actually rose and looked around the room, yet still not a single soul decided to speak up, and to say that it annoyed me … well I decided that I would step up my game. Apparently my luck was turning around again because it was perfectly timed.

I got off my seat and crawled up onto the table before crossing my legs and sitting in the middle, giving me the ability to see the entire group in a single view instead of having to turn my head. This was all done just as the waiter was coming into the room.

“Oh no, you don’t. Leave for a bit, we’ll call you back when we need you,” I said at the waiter, who hesitated before looking at Celestia, who didn’t acknowledge his worried look. “Well? I said shoo, these mares and griffoness can wait. I know I can.”

The waiter was probably in a rather large conundrum as he wasn’t being given the order from Celestia or Luna, and yet neither of them countermanded my suggestion. Eventually he gave up trying to figure out what to do, and instead took my suggestion and left.

“So … I’m comfy and ready to clear the air,” I said, looking out over the group.

More silence.

More silence.

And … you guessed it, more silence. In fact, it was such mind-numbing silence that I was about ready to get up and leave. Anything had to be better than that silence. It was at that point that one of them broke.

“Alright, fine! I’m sorry!” Dash finally burst out. Not in the tears type of way, but more along the lines of anger that was directed at herself. She didn’t say anything after that statement, instead opting to plant her head on the table and cover her face with her forehooves.

“For?” I offered, not leaving it open ended like I could have, but instead adding an inflection that sounded more confused than anything.

“For?!” she nearly yelled in shock. “For punching you! I bucked up, alright! I didn’t think …”

“I still don’t see why you’re sorry. I already forgave you, so what’s there to be sorry about?” I offered, hoping it would bring about some sort of closure to her or something. Instead, it brought a facepalm from Gilda and created a rather shocked Dash. They didn’t speak, but their reactions told me everything. “Seriously, I already cleared you so you don’t need to apologize. I’m the Canadian here, so perhaps I should have apologized.”

Random stereotypes that completely fly over aliens’ heads for the win. Literally, it killed the conversation so that I could shift it from Dash. It was looking to be a roundabout one anyway.

“Anyone else? I mean it doesn’t need to be with regards to me, which I would be surprised if it was,” I said before scratching my chin. I didn’t think there was anything else that needed to be cleared up with regards to me, so whatever was causing all of the tension must have been something else, right? Wrong. Apparently ponies are often very caring … at least the non-jackass ones.

“Just like that?” Shining asked, looking a little bewildered. “She clocked you and you forgive her just like that?”

“Why wouldn’t I? It wasn’t even a flesh wound! I mean, if anything I should be congratulating her since I did not see that one coming at all. In fact - Rainbow, great punch, though I think you might have extended a little early. Keep it coiled a little more on contact and follow through with the extension. Plus, get your entire body into it if you can, more mass behind it can add more power,” I said towards Rainbow before giving her a light clap in appreciation or something like that. Once I was done, I paused for a moment, clutching my head for a second. “Admittedly she might have got me better than I thought.”

Silence permeated the room again, blasted fucking silence I tell you! Seriously, it was annoying beyond anything. I might be a man of solitude, but when it came to being in a crowd I was used to there being noise. Silence is the opposite of noise, so …

I was getting desperate to not be a part of a depressing room. “Can we perhaps just forget about yesterday? Seriously … please?”

For a brief moment, it seemed like more than a few of the mares in the room wanted to speak up and say something to that but said moment passed and nothing was spoken. The group of six that had accompanied us all this way, Twilight and the crew, looked at each other with sideways glances before nodding in decent unison as if to say that they agreed to let it go.

Out of everything, that somehow did the trick. Don’t ask me … seriously, don’t ask me. I’ve got no fucking clue, but after that, apparently all the tension just disappeared as multiple conversations suddenly started up. Cadence and Luna were talking while Celestia and Twilight spoke. Rarity and Fluttershy and so on and so forth. It was like I had somehow flicked a magical switch that changed the entire room.

I was tempted … very, very tempted to throw my hands up and walk out of the room at what occurred, but instead I simply shuffled on the table till I could slide off and get back into my chair. Apparently I was openly displaying my shocked face, because Gilda just reached up and patted me on the shoulder. “Ponies are weird, dude.”

“Nailed it right on the head,” I mumbled back. Eventually the waiter returned and we got breakfast under way once more, though I could tell from his look that he wasn’t pleased with me sending him off. Oh well, sucks to suck I suppose … or something like that.

Had an omelet for breakfast, which was good. It had been awhile since I had one, so I took a chance and it turned out to be pretty good, though nothing really special. So really in the end, breakfast was okay. Sure, it had that hitch at the beginning, but other than that it was nothing more than a regular breakfast.

After we finished eating, we all departed instead of sticking around. Most of us went to our rooms to gather all of our stuff, though I was a little annoyed that I had to pack a lot of my stuff since Rarity hadn’t washed my outfit yet. We had agreed to meet in the entrance hall before we all left.

Yeah, I’m being a little quick here because you and I both know that neither of us wants another endless segment like last time. Instead, I’ll summarise what happened until we gathered in the front hall to say goodbyes and all that.

I gathered my stuff and packed it away carefully, hooking what I could on my ammo belt and such. Either way, I was missing the pockets of my jacket. After that, I proceeded to make my way to said entrance hall, just in time to run into a certain mare once again.

“Hey! My favourite human!” Candlelight said as she trotted over to me before doing an about-face to follow me as I trudged through the castle hallways.

“Didn’t you say that last time?” I asked before chuckling.

“Doesn’t make it any less true now, does it?” she said with her usual smirk, but it died off shortly after, instead being replaced by a little bit of a worried face, which was a little weird to see from her. “How are you feeling? You looked … disturbed before I left.”

“Better … better. A lot I had to get off my chest. I didn’t get it all off, but that isn’t of concern right now,” I said before giving a deep sigh, then doing a one-eighty and changing to my joking attitude. “Shouldn’t you be off somewhere with your head buried between a pair of legs, or is that only when off duty?”

“Unfortunately, the Princess prefers us to keep such things away from our shift. It’s a real mood killer to be honest, but I get by,” she said before sticking her tongue out at me.

“Don’t you just hate it when your job gets in the way of sex?” I asked with sarcasm lining each word.

“Amen to that,” Candlelight said before laughing a little. It was contagious enough that I followed suit immediately after. We ended up walking down the hallway a little more; the silence was nice and all, but I was feeling like talking.

“It’s unfortunate you can’t come with me. I mean, you could try your best at seducing one of each species or something. I would be willing to put up with endless innuendos, just to see you try to fuck a dragon,” I said with a smirk.

“Dragons? I’m pretty sure there are no dragons in Tayros,” she said with mild confusion. Ahh yes, that was the only place they thought I was going to.

“Tayros isn’t my only destination as far as I’m concerned,” I replied. “If it takes Purple Smart a while to find a way to send me home … well, I travel quickly.”

“Ooh! Going off to see the world? Lucky! I’ve never been outside of Equestria,” she said with a frown before it turned into a smirk. “I expect a gift or something when you return.”

“Ha! If I find something suiting of ‘Candlelight the Insatiable,’ then I’ll bring something back,” I replied with a deep chuckle. I could only think of possibilities that would garner the best response from her.

Unfortunately for our little heart-to-heart, we entered the Entrance Hall and found the entire group waiting there. Apparently, I was the only one that actually had anything to pack up. I mean it made sense, considering that not a single one of the ponies wore anything unless you count the guards. That, and I didn’t see any of them brings bags along when we first got on the train two days ago.

“I can’t be seen this far off duty by the Princesses,” Candlelight said as she paused in the doorway, hiding around it just enough that she couldn’t see the Princesses. How she knew they were in there … smell or hearing was probably the answer, but I didn’t bother to ask.

“No worries,” I said before crouching down and wrapping the ‘thestral’ in a hug. She actually squeaked at the sudden contact but it was brief enough that she didn’t have time to recover, nor did she really need to. “We didn’t spend a lot of time together, Candlelight, but you can lord it over Horizon that you’re the best bat pony. I’m going to miss your innuendos … that’s always been my weaker section of humour.”

She simply smiled and waved at me as I descended down the stairs to join the rest of the group. They probably had been waiting long enough for me as it was. Didn’t want to keep them waiting … they were paying for my train ride after all. That’s a rule to live by, just so you know. If someone is paying for something or giving you something for free, you don’t want to show bad manners and either be late or … well, just don’t be rude.

I couldn’t think something up for the ‘if they give you something for free’ scenario. It’ll probably come to me in an hour or so.

Gilda and the rest were in a little group facing the Princesses, and coincidentally, the stairs. Celestia and Luna had their back to me, but it was apparent they both heard me coming by the flick of their ears . Lucky ponies and their swivable ears.

“Ah, Ryan, there you are!” Twilight said as she saw me approach from behind Luna and Celestia. “The train will be arriving shortly, so we better get going! Don’t want to be late, that would really ruin the schedule.”

I wanted to ask what she was talking about, but a few frantic waves from her friends behind her told me to just drop it entirely. That instead just made me laugh; only your best friends would warn others of topics that could be of danger to their health.

I decided to split Luna and Celestia down the middle instead of going around them. Why not, more direct route. See, you might think that it was some way of saying ‘fuck you’ or I had some sort of ulterior motive, but that wasn’t the case. In fact, if you thought I had a reason for that, then you have not been paying attention to my storytelling. I’ve told you many minute details about what happened, so why are you surprised that I included that?

…

Okay, okay, I specifically included that just so I could jokingly berate you all for jumping to a reasonable conclusion. I know, I’m a bad person for that … we all good? Sweet.

I cleared them just enough so that I could turn around and not hit them in the faces with my gear. That would have been extremely rude.

“Thank you for everything. My first time meeting leaders of a nation, and it was a pleasure. I hope I didn’t cause too much trouble in my short duration. If I did, then just give it a week and it’ll blow over … since I’ll be far clear of Equestria and all that,” I said, rambling more than a little. I hadn’t meant to add that last part, but it slipped out … somewhat.

“It has been a pleasure as well, Ryan. We both hope you well in your journey and I wouldn’t worry about trouble for us. Nobles here are extremely fickle and easy to sway,” Celestia said with her normal calm demeanour and serene smile. That was one thing I was glad to be rid of. The nobles I mean … not Celestia’ face. Got it? Good.

“In hindsight, that noble had it coming,” Luna muttered as she turned her head away from me but snapped it forward immediately afterwards, bringing to bear a true smile … not one like Celestia’s. “Don’t worry, Ryan, we’ll always have your dreams.”

“Is that … no, never mind,” I said in reply. I thought for a second she had been making a reference, but I quickly dismissed it. We never watched that movie … nor had I. I only knew that one line honestly.

“Here, I got you a going away gift,” Luna said with a big smile before floating me a packing paper-wrapped object that looked like a tube. Just a tube, though more along the lines of those tubes that painters carry rolled up paintings in. Any of you know the type? Do you know the name? No? Damn.

Anyway, hovering beside the tube was an envelope that looked surprisingly bulky. It didn’t have anything written on it nor was it fully sealed, instead the flap was just tucked inside the opening. I took them before giving them a once over, not fully inspecting them but at least giving them a look before I slung my backpack off my shoulder to place them both in there.

“You should keep the envelope on you. The contents should help!” Luna said chipperly, earning a little bit of a weary look from her sister. I was tempted to ask her if it was all just a prank. Tempted, but at the same time I realised that if it was, she had probably gone through a lot of effort for it. Might as well give her that. “As for the package, feel free to open it whenever!”

“Thank you, Luna,” I said before putting the tube away in my backpack and the envelope away in a pocket. Once my backpack was slung over my back, I walked forward and gave both of the alicorns a hug. It was a little awkward for a hug, since the parts of them that were around hugging height were literally their heads and necks. So I kind of just gently hugged their necks, making sure to not make it look like I was trying to strangle both of them, because that was quite a possibility … and you know what? I never knew neck hugs would be so awesome …well not awesome but they were better hugs than I expected. I mean, that’s how they reciprocated … well at least how Luna did. She used her neck to add pressure to me like a regular person would during a hug.

Anyway, as I said, Luna reciprocated, while Celestia appeared shocked or something. I don’t honestly know what to exactly call the face she made, but the fact that she didn’t look happy or whatever made me wonder what her thoughts of me were. After a few seconds, I let go of that train of thought before turning and walking up to the waiting group of ponies, and griffon. They gave me all that typical negative range of looks at what I had done, though at least none of them actually verbalised it. Apparently giving two immortal alicorns a hug is taboo or something. They really needed to lighten up, honestly.

So eventually we went on our way, the group talking about stuff while I just followed along in silence … much like our escort of six guards. They really didn’t like having everyone walk through a city without an escort … or perhaps I was the one who needed the escort. If that was the case, then I felt honoured, if a little insulted. Though the possibility did exist that it was all just a formality, considering that Twilight was indeed a Princess and everything. Who knew, really …

During that walk, I thought back to the events of the past two days, and it hit me. For a brief moment I realised that I would possibly miss the city. Possibly. I mean, I didn’t really know it well enough to actually decide whether or not I would, but as first impressions go, it wasn’t half bad at all.

As for everything that had happened … well there was going to be regrettable memories; which there was. Yet at the same time, those events helped me more than anything. Sure, they led up to me having a rather big breakdown during dinner, as well as getting a concussion … not to mention a minor breakdown on the first night … and Luna getting mad at me for some reason … okay, okay, so most of the events hadn’t been positive in any way, shape, or form. In fact, you could say that a good portion of them were negative in their outwards appearance.

Yet they all helped me realise that perhaps the human world was not meant for me. Sure, I constantly talked about going back, but there was still a part of me that felt that living in Equestria was the smart decision. My flashback cemented that. I was too broken for that world. Never had I had an episode like that until I arrived in Equestria, so it only made sense to me that I would be better off back where I belonged.

I mean, look at me. When you look at me, do you see some sort of person who can function in a “normal” society any more? Do my stories talk of someone that could live in your town and be a productive member? Other a few of you, I can see you all silently agreeing with me. Perhaps long ago I could have integrated, but I was also a different person back then.

Don’t pity me, I don’t need or want your pity. Despite my words, I enjoy my wandering now. I’ve found purpose in what I do, so I don’t think I would ever want to go back to attempting to live in a settlement or city. One day, when I can no longer walk or journey, then perhaps I will find a house, and make it my last residence, but until then … my home is out there.

Heh, enough rambling.

We eventually made it to the train station and onto the train, all according to Purple Smart’s schedule. The guards departed, and as I watched them leave, I remembered that I didn’t get to say goodbye to Wind Shear or Sigil. Fuck; the hasty leaving was really annoying at times, that being one of them. The other being that I was honour-bound to allow Rarity to take my measurements. That was going to be an event … a bad one based on their previous reactions to my arms.

Sure, they didn’t even notice the scars any more, but my chest was more beaten up than my arms. You don’t survive an explosion without taking some heavy burns or shrapnel … now imagine that but more than once. Yeah, I’ve got some deep wounds in my body, almost died once. Shrapnel piece punctured my left lung, thankfully hitting that one instead of an even more vital organ that was just a bit higher up. But that’s not for this story.

In the special car just for us, I relaxed once again on the couch that they had been kind enough to allow me to take up. Wait … that didn’t sound right, let me try to say that in a clearer way … ahem. Once in the train car, which was the same as we occupied on the first trip, I stretched out on my own couch while the rest paired off once more.

Yeah, that sounded better.

So we had a few hours again to kill on the train trip. I knew I needed to get some sleep, and that was my plan, but I was also curious as to what was in the envelope. So I decided to at least sate my curiosity before taking a much needed nap.

The rest of the group was talking or doing their own things while I laid on the couch and proceeded to open the envelope. Inside it was … not something I was expecting. In fact, it was probably the exact opposite of what I was thinking. Hell, I thought Luna would attempt to prank me in some sort of way, but the contents of the envelope were anything but.

First off there was a small hand, or if you want to be technical, hoof-written letter. It went like this. Ahem.

“Dear, Ryan. I hope this helps out. Don’t be an idiot. Oh, and you owe me big time. Sincerely, Luna.”

Truly, she had outdid my prank. That’s not sarcasm either, trust me. When you are put in a place where you owe someone, then you’re at their complete mercy … she could have me do anything. Of course that meant my only options were to either never return, or hopefully get home before I had to repay that debt.

I placed the letter aside while I pulled out the next thing that was folded in the envelope. There were three pieces of paper that were folded over each other. When unfolded they were rather official-looking in design; fancy borders and writing were the tip-offs. So I proceeded to read them.

‘“Holy shit,” I whispered in shock before dropping them and fishing out the third thing. I proceeded to look the third thing over before giving out a rather loud whistle in amazement. Luna had pulled some fucking strings.

Of course my whistle had drawn the attention of the rest, all wondering what had happened, though it was specifically asked. I sat up straight, shuffling the papers in my hand before getting up and taking a step over to Twilight, passing her the papers. “Here, you read them and explain.”

She gave me a questioning look. I didn’t blame her, it was rather random, considering I could easily read what was on the pages. I just figured that if she read them then and explained then the rest would understand better. That and I would have dropped a lot of f-bombs in the explanation process.

“Hmm, let’s see,” she said as she hovered the four pieces of paper in her magical grasp, examining them briefly before her eyes shot open. “These … these are notarized bank notes! All for the sum of twenty thousand bits! Not to mention this document which clears you for free usage of the Royal suite on the HHA Daedalus. How in Equestria did you get these?!”

“It was in the envelope that Luna gave me. HHA?”

“Her Highness’ Airship,” Twilight replied quickly before going over the documents once more, trying to see if perhaps I did some sort of expert forgery or looking for any signs that I had stolen them. It’s what I would have done if someone had just handed me such things.

“Airship … huh. Cool,” I said before passing the envelope over to Twilight, which also contained the note from Luna. “You figure all that out and just, I don’t know … put it on top of me or something. I need a nap.”

“Aren’t you curious as to why you were given this? Or for that matter, what this means?” Twilight asked, a little shocked at my casual response.

“Luna wants me to owe her, and it means Gilda and I now have access to money on our trip, and free rides. Now, wake me up when we get back to Ponyville,” I said before pulling my earbuds from their resting position and plugging them into my ears. Then I hit play, getting a nice blast of some Faroe folk metal. Tyr was a great band … in fact any band from Scandinavia that sung about norse mythology, or vikings, in a metal way, was awesome.

Take a break for a moment and [url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ZX_7lrtnRU just listen to this song. My personal favourite song from Tyr. Just take a moment to let that song play. Enjoy it and don’t worry about the lyrics. It was their native language from their home, the Faroe Islands.

Ten Minutes after Ryan Fell Asleep

Trixie had been quiet for quite some time at that point. Her mind had been in constant thought, contemplating her actions for the foreseeable future. It was who she had become, one that would weigh all of her options. She hadn’t always been like that, in fact it was only a few years ago that she decided to start doing such a task. Her horrible mistakes in the past made up a very convincing argument as to why she should carefully consider her options at all times.

So what were her options at that moment? Well, there were three options that she could foresee.

The first was to stay in Ponyville and find some sort of work, possibly even helping Twilight Sparkle. That, of course, wasn’t the most ideal option in her mind, but nonetheless it was there. She had spent so much of her life on the move that it was impossible for her to say that finally settling down was not a little tempting. Unfortunately, such a choice would lead to the question of what she would do for work. Her entire life, minus the brief stint on the rock farm and as a tyrannical ruler over Ponyville, had been spent as a wandering magician and story teller. What stories could she possibly come up with if she spent all her time in Ponyville?

Trixie flinched at the thought of having to give up what she had been doing since she was a little filly. Her shows were her life …

Then there was the second option. She could leave after a short stay in Ponyville and get back to wandering on her own, visiting locations that few ponies went to. Stopping in towns to provide a show or two before she moved on, continuously journeying. That had been her plan for the longest time, but after the little episode in Dodge City, she wasn’t feeling overly up to adventuring on her own. Equestria was relatively peaceful but that didn’t mean all lands were. She would be endlessly safer in Ponyville.

Trixie proceeded to hold back a sigh at the thought of her career ending due to some sort of ‘accident.’

Finally, the third option. The option that actually was sounding increasingly appealing to Trixie. She could continue journeying and she would be able to hold onto the feeling of being safe. All she needed to do was ask the human if she could join him. While Trixie had always preferred life by herself, she had to admit that he would attract some attention … not to mention that once his journey had ended she would have endless tales to tell the masses. She could put on big shows and tell the story of the only human in Equestria!

A small smile came to Trixie’s face the moment she realised the benefits that could come from following the human.

“Twilight Sparkle, Trixie has decided that she will go with Ryan as well,” Trixie said to her purple friend. At first the words didn’t register, but eventually they slowly filtered in the ears of the pony who was still examining the papers that Ryan had been given.

“You are? How come?” Twilight asked, more than a little confused. Although she was more restrained about it, she was just as surprised as when Gilda had told Dash she would be following him as well. She was slightly confused as to why they were both going with the human so easily. Many thoughts crossed her mind as to how it could have happened so easily. The most ridiculous one being that he had somehow mind-controlled them both. It was rather ridiculous, but Twilight didn’t rule it out.

No; instead she performed a quick scan of Trixie to see if there was some sort of mental manipulation to the mare. She fully knew Trixie would be able to notice the spell, but she decided to allow Trixie to ask about the intentions to better facilitate the discussion.

“What was that for, Twilight Sparkle?” Trixie asked with a small glare. This caused Twilight to sheepishly smile in response before composing herself.

“I just found it odd that both of you are going with him,” Twilight responded. “So I performed a quick spell to check for any mental adjustments that could have been made. Thankfully it came back negative.”

“Please, Sparkle, Trixie would know if she was being manipulated!”

“Like the Alicorn Amulet?” Twilight offered, which stopped Trixie in her tracks and caused her to pause for a few moments.

“Trixie relents on that point but that doesn’t mean she is not correct. Trixie has her own motives for following the human on his adventures. Also, Trixie forgives you for the scan,” Trixie said with a smirk.

“Oh?” Twilight asked, her brow raised in curiosity.

“Fine, Trixie admits that her reason for going is so that she can profit off any possible stories,” Trixie said all too quickly. Usually she was a good liar, but for some reason, around Twilight Sparkle she couldn’t tell a single lie.

Twilight thought on the revelation for a moment, pondering what the implications of the Trixie’s decision could be. In the reality of things, if all went well, then it wouldn’t matter either way. Ryan would return home and Trixie would have her stories to tell. There was no harm being done to either parties, so she had no real objections against it.

“Just don’t use him, Trixie,” Twilight replied finally. That was the only warning she could think of.

“Use him? Bah, Trixie would never think of not being a faithful member of the adventuring party. Have more faith in Trixie than that, Sparkle,” Trixie said as she flashed a grin at her friend again.

Twilight merely gave out a small chuckle before turning back to examine the documents. At that point, she was more or less just making sure it was all in order. Reading over the written note by Luna more than a few times had indeed proven that Ryan had legally obtained the items as a gift from the Lunar Princess … that, and Luna gave Ryan the gift herself. Still, it was hard to believe that Ryan had been given such a gift after such a short amount of time spent in Equestria. It seemed slightly unreal but at the same time, one of her best friends was Rarity, so …

Twilight sighed eventually, folding all the documents back up in the envelope before floating it over to Ryan’s sleeping form and placing it in one of his pockets.

Then a thought hit her.

“Trixie, what are you going to do about your wagon? I don’t think the Daedalus will allow you to bring it on,” Twilight said as she turned to face her couch partner. This caused Trixie’s face to scrunch up, the revelation hitting her in a not so nice way.

“Trixie admits that she never thought of that,” the light blue mar replied before tapping a hoof to her chin. “Trixie hates to say it, but perhaps she has to leave it behind.”

That was when another thought hit Twilight, only this time it was one of brilliance instead of realisation. She knew a spell that would be perfectly suited for the situation.

“How about Shrink Ray’s Shrink Ray?” Twilight asked Trixie who just gave her a confused look. Twilight lightly giggled at the face before explaining. “Shrink Ray was a unicorn who developed a rather easy spell that would allow one to shrink larger objects so that they could be utilized for storage. Unfortunately, he never devised a counter spell to re-enlarge the object. Thankfully, his great-great-granddaughter, Big Idea created the counter spell and was able to finally complete her great-great-grandfather’s work.”

“Is Sparkle implying that Trixie shrinks her wagon for the flight?” Trixie asked skeptically.

“Exactly that! It would allow you to store your wagon almost anywhere depending on the size you shrink it down to!” Twilight nearly shouted, a giant smile practically beaming on her face.

“You must teach Trixie this spell, Sparkle,” Trixie said with an almost equally giant smile.

“Alright, first off …”

When I awoke again, I was being shaken by a clawed hand. I must have really needed that sleep because it was another dreamless rest. I hadn’t even tried to make a dream out of it, instead my music lulled me into a dreamless yet extremely restful sleep.

“Wake up doofus, we’re here,” Gilda said before walking away from me and towards the end of the train car. Hell; I slept all the way ‘till we pulled into the station … usually I wasn’t that deep of a sleeper.

I initially struggled to get off the couch and remove my earbuds from my ears, but after shaking my head a few times, I felt a little more awake. Don’t ask why, it’s just a thing I’ve found that works.

Once I felt more awake, I quickly grabbed my packs and exited the train. I was back in Ponyville once again, and though I knew I hadn’t been gone long, for some reason I expected it to be vastly different than last time I was here. I don’t know why I expected that … perhaps it was due to how much time I usually spent away from settlements. I mean, here, I tend to spend months or more away from a town before coming back. That, and my stay in Canterlot felt longer than it really should have been. I wasn’t even there for two full days, yet it felt like I had been there for weeks.

There was a bunch of ponies standing on the train station platform, but none of them paid me any attention. Hell; a few casually looked at me, but just smiled and then continued doing whatever it was they were doing. It felt weird to be so casually regarded, especially after having received many stares and long glances when in Canterlot. I grinned slightly at the prospect that I wasn’t anything special. I liked that feeling.

“Come on, you dolt! We’re waiting on you,” Gilda’s shout came from a little to my right. I glanced over to see an impatient griffon among the group of conversioning ponies.

“Yeah, yeah,” I muttered before walking over to them. They were talking about some stuff, but nothing that I really picked up on. I waited a few moments for a lull in the general conversation before deciding to say something. “What’s the game plan?”

“Well, Applejack, Fluttershy, and Pinkie have to leave. They’ve been gone too long from their homes and their jobs, so they need to leave in order to tend to them,” Sparkle said nonchalantly. “While I’d like to think Rainbow has work as well, she apparently is willing to head to Carousel Boutique with us.”

I glanced at her, raising an eyebrow. From what I could tell, the name of the place we were going to was not one that a tomboy like Rainbow would enjoy. Of course, I was basing this entirely on looks, perhaps deep down inside she truly enjoyed fru-fru stuff. That would have been amusing to see, especially considering her general attitude of trying to not give a fuck about anything.

“So, is that our next destination?” I asked, never having heard of that place. Though, like I said, from the sound of it, it was interesting.

“I can’t take your measurements, darling, without my tapes,” Rarity said out of nowhere. Well, not out of nowhere, but she hadn’t joined the conversation until that moment. In fact, when I looked around, I saw that the group had whittled down to Gilda, Purple Smart, Rarity, Rainbow, and Trixie. The other three had apparently left when I wasn’t paying attention. I scolded myself for that … I was slipping up way too much lately, but I was lucky that it had been in relatively peaceful and relaxing areas.

“Oh … I take it that this ‘Boutique’ is your place?” I asked tentatively.

“Indeed! Carousel Boutique is currently the place to be for fashion!” Rarity said, beaming with a maniacal grin. As soon as she said that, I knew I triggered something. So I did what most cultured male instincts told me to do. Tune her out as she rambled on about fashion.

Luckily when she started talking, the rest of the group just laughed and started walking in the direction we were supposed to be going. Which was the exact same way to the castle. Yeah, my memory is sharp.

Some agonizing minutes later, we arrived a place that I faintly recalled from last time we walked down the path. It did live up to the name of ‘Carousel Boutique’, with it looking like a carousel and all … I’m not fucking kidding either. Some of you have seen the ruins of that amusement park, right? Yeah? Well, you know the ride that’s circular that has those plastic horses with a pole down the middle? That’s a carousel. The house was essentially the same design as the non-open parts of a carousel.

The whole thing looked like it belonged in a circus more than just a random building in a town! I could only imagine what other buildings would look like. You have a castle that looked like it had been cut out of a mountain comprised only of gems, no dirt or anything. Now you have a house that looked more like a multi-tiered fair ride. What next? A fucking gingerbread house?

Don’t ask. … Just don’t.

Anyway, we entered the place, and I had to say, it looked more like a place of business rather than a house. That threw me for a loop since I had been expecting Rarity to take us to her house or whatever, not where she worked.

“Welcome to my humble abode,” Rarity announced as she walked around the entrance area before disappearing through a set of saloon-style doors. She immediately stuck her back out. “Do make yourselves comfortable while I get my tools.”

“Abode? She lives here?” I asked to no one in particular. I didn’t receive a reply, thankfully. It wasn’t meant to be a conversation starter.

The rest of the group got cushions thanks to Twilight’s magic, but I knew that there was little point in me sitting down as I would be the one getting measurements. Still, I had no idea why she required said measurements. I mean, I didn’t need any clothes, nor had I ordered them. I could only speculate as to her reasons why.

While I speculated, I slowly and carefully set down all of my gear, removing the body armour as well before sitting on the edge of the platform where I could only guess she would have me stand. I looked over at the others and saw Trixie and Twilight in a conversation that was rather quiet and had a lot of... horn lighting... going on. Rainbow was looking closer to falling asleep; I just wish she wasn’t doing it while splayed out on her back. Her tail did nothing to hide anything, so I just shook my head and averted my eyes. Gilda was apparently chuckling at something, but I didn’t bother to ask what it was, nor did I have the time as Rarity came trotting in.

“Alright, darling. Your clothes are currently being soaked. While we wait for that part, we’ll be taking the measurements. Now up on the platform, clothes off,” she said in a curt and businesslike tone. I stayed in place, giving her a weary look. She wanted me to strip? Yeah, not happening.

“Not happening,” I said.

“Pardon me?” Rarity asked, a little shocked by the blunt statement. It apparently was shocking enough that all eyes were on me.

“Two things. First off is the scars part. That’s straightforward, but the second one isn’t. I might have little shame, but humans have an ingrained social taboo regarding nakedness. The most I will do willingly is strip down to underwear. Nothing more,” I said, still sitting on the edge of the platform. The group eyed me with varied expressions. Rarity had a look of contemplation, Gilda, Rainbow, and Trixie had questioning looks, while Twilight had what looked like a quill hovering over paper or something. To be honest, I wasn’t surprised with that reaction.

“Come on, dude, we’re all adults in here. Nothing we haven’t seen before,” Rainbow said with a shrug. Goddamned naked pony society.

“Human nudity taboo. If you can’t parse that then I’ve got no more words,” I said with a little bit of a bitter snap. Rainbow, thankfully didn’t take offence to it. If she did, I was ready that time so she would have been the one on the floor, not me.

“I think what he means,” Twilight spoke up, “is that in his society it is considered extremely rude to be naked around those who are not close. As in really close. At least that’s what it sounds like.”

“You can really read in between lines, Purple Smart,” I said with a small smirk before looking over at Rarity. “Well?”

“I guess I have to respect such things,” Rarity said with a sigh before mumbling something that was too quiet to hear. I nodded my head in acceptance of her willingness to work around such ingrained factors.

So I started by removing my shoes, socks, then pants and finally shirt and glasses before getting up on the stage. I stood in the middle in a rather rigid, arms by my side pose, because I had to do a fitting once before and knew that deviating from what the seamstress or seamster wanted would get me poked.

I waited for her to start the sizing. Nothing happened … and I knew why.

“I might have patience, but …” I said before looking at the ponies that were eyeing my body cautiously. They got to see the multitude of scars that laced my chest and the few on my legs.

I said earlier that I had survived many blasts among other things. Before I happened to find my body armour, I had to be much more careful with doing certain actions. Unfortunately, I was still caught in more than a few explosions or had glancing shots that still caught me a little. I mentioned the shrapnel that pierced my lung, right? Well, that was one of many. The worst by far was from my attempt to dodge a machete swing. I ended up getting a two and a half centimetre deep gash that went from above my right hip, all the way up to my left nipple. Ghastly thing it was but it taught me a valuable lesson: stick to guns, cause I can’t fight with a knife, sword, or machete for shit. Sure, I have one, but that’s for non-combat uses if I can help it.

Aside from that unfortunate encounter, I happened to get a few glancing shots that caused small scars from the close misses. The shrapnel incident happened to leave a half moon-like scar on my right side, right in between two ribs in the upper section of them. Fun, huh?

I happened to catch Gilda, out of the corner of my eye, tracing a section of her chest like she was imagining what the scar would look like if she had received it instead of me. I nearly chuckled at the thought, but instead bit it back. To them it wasn’t something to laugh about.

“Can we move on?” I asked with more urgency, hopefully enough to make Rarity realise she was wasting my time by gawking at the scars.

“R-ri-” she said before clearing her throat. “Right, let’s get started. Can you spread your feet a little and raise your arms?”

I complied with her request before feeling multiple measuring tapes wrapping themselves around sections of my arms and legs. They were moving very fast, but I wasn’t all that surprised. I could only imagine if humans had the type of capability to do so. All of those agonizingly long fittings that people endured would have been cut to almost nothing easily!

Long story short, since I don’t think you want to hear about me standing there and waiting for her to finish fitting me, Rarity was extremely quick with her work and roughly five minutes were actually spent measuring. Unfortunately, she spent another five minutes muttering about human taboos or humans in general.

It was interesting listening to her mulling over her complaints of human attributes, but looking back, those statements were nothing more than her constantly asking why I was shaped as I was, followed by her stating that she wished I was simply a pony.

I simply chuckled whenever she realised she said that out loud and tried to apologize. Those little ‘accidental’ statements were of no consequence.

When she was done with her measurements and I was clear to finally put my clothes back on, I sat back down on the edge of the platform while she went into the back for some time. Needless to say, there was no real conversation during that time. The rest of them were either doing something to avoid eye contact with me or going over notes. I’m pretty sure you can guess who was doing what.

Three yeses and one nope. Gilda and Dash were trying to look away, though Gilda wasn’t as blatant about it as Dash. I could see that the blue pegasus really wanted to speak up and ask something, but instead she kept her mouth shut. The one nope was that Trixie was also looking over notes with Twilight.

Anyway, I figured that before I put my shirt on, I would at least humour Dash.

“Which one?” I asked, keeping my back tall to allow her to see the scars. She seemed taken by surprise at first, but as I gestured to my stomach I could tell that she was actually thinking about which one she wanted to hear about.

“That really long one,” she eventually managed to say. Yep, you even get to hear the whole story … though I more or less told you about it. Actually it wasn’t the whole story but an excerpt with a little bit of background info.

“About a decade ago, I think, I was in a big city that was across a massive ocean from my home continent. I had managed to find someone that was insane enough to make the crossing. Remember this was after The Reckoning, so society had broken down and the world was trying to kill us. We ended up taking a large boat across and had no troubles. So, after months of wandering Europe, the name of said continent, I ended up in a large and surprisingly intact Berlin. Though intact was just with regards to the structures. All morals and organization broke down in that city, leaving it to be run by only the most ruthless and morally decrepit gangs.”

“I managed to lay low for the most part, getting by just barely and only working with someone who knew German and English. They would do all the work for me in terms of speaking while I got what I needed. Unfortunately we were being watched by someone. We tried to duck and dodge from our follower but they cornered us in an alley. This guy was a hulking mammoth of a person. Taller than me by a good amount and was large in every other way shape and form. The bastard was carrying a machete with him, so he obviously had an intent to kill.”

“Now, I could have easily defended myself by using this thing,” I said while tapping the gun on my leg holster, “but I figured I’d just draw more unwanted attention to us. So instead I pull out my knife, which was much smaller than the one I currently have. Here I thought I was good with a knife, having practiced a little. Turns out I wasn’t that good. See, I managed to deflect a few attacks and dodge a couple but I never was able to strike. On one specific attack he lunged with an upwards swing. There was no way for me to parry it, or I would have lost my arm probably. So I thought I could jump back. Turns out that I couldn’t react fast enough.”

“I got lucky in fact. That slice could have killed me easily, instead I just got this deep gouge. Obviously since I got cut during the dodge I fell backwards, rolling slightly. That fucker tried to look intimidating as he lumbered slowly over to us. I was in too much pain at that moment to really give a shit about my actions, so instead I drew out my CZ-P09, and luckily put a shot into his skull. After that we ran, and got out of there as fast as we could …”

I took a sigh, as I traced a finger over the scar, remembering the incident like it had happened yesterday. It wasn’t a nice memory, but it was one nonetheless. I looked up at Dash who had a little look of shock, probably from the kill or be killed aspect, but I dismissed that and instead finished my little story.

“I ended up having to get this thing stitched over, though it wasn’t by a full fledged doctor or anything like that. They were a high value commodity that gangs horded, and since we had no clue who that guy worked with, my buddy had to get the equipment and do it herself. She was good for not having any medical background. Perhaps if I had seen a real doctor it would have healed better, and not left such a noticeable scar. Either way, it’s in the past,” I said, wrapping up the story. Only then did I hear the sound of water droplets hitting the floor off to my right. I looked over to see Rarity holding my soaked clothes in her magic. She looked a little shaken … maybe, I couldn’t read the face that well.

“Yes, well … um, Twilight, dear, do you mind using a drying spell on these?” Rarity said with a little hitch in her voice. Twilight nodded wordlessly before her horn glowed, that purplish colour encompassing my clothes for a few seconds before fading. When it left my clothes, they were perfectly dry. I hated and yet loved unicorn hacks. “Here you go, darling.”

“Thank you,” I said before taking them out of her magic and inspecting them to see if they had fully dried. They had, and much to my relief I could once again wear my jacket and actually keep things in their rightful place instead of in my packs.

I kind of tuned out everyone in the room while I proceeded to re-organize myself. It’s a very important thing despite what some claim. You have to know and have access to everything you need almost instinctively. Anything less and you risk running into a situation where you take a little too long to find something and boom … dead.

It was the same as when I was an electrician … though not deadly. It was closer to, ‘if you have to go looking then you fall behind’. Though when comparing situations, falling behind in electrical is the same as getting wounded or something like that.

So after what I suspected was ten minutes of sitting there and organizing my stuff once more, I was ready to go. The group had all but disappeared … well, only Gilda was left in her spot. The rest had apparently wandered off or something.

“They went into the kitchen,” Gilda said before rolling her eyes and pointing in the direction they left.

“Ah … well, now what do we do?” I wondered aloud. I was kind of asking Gilda, but at the same time I didn’t want to actually ask that question.

“They’ll be right back, doofus,” Gilda said with a small smirk on her beak. “So, travelling head-case is coming with us now.”

“Wait, what?” I asked, not completely hearing what she said right. Or at least so I thought.

“Travelling head-case … Trixie? Yeah the mare thinks she can keep up with us,” Gilda scoffed.

“Keep up with us? Last I checked you were having her pull you around,” I said as I walked to her and poked her in the chest before jumping back. Despite knowing she wouldn’t hurt me out right, a sharp beak is nothing to mess with.

“Shut up!” she nearly shouted.

I raised my hands to show her I didn’t want an escalation of the situation. “Just poking fun, Gilda. If she wants to come, then she can. Besides, who knows just how helpful her unicorn magic could be,” I said with a small smile.

“Why are you letting her come without a fuss? You made a big deal out of it when I wanted to come!” Gilda snarled as she got in my face. Yeah, having a pissed off gryphon in your face wasn’t exactly the nicest thing to have.

You have to be smooth as ice to diffuse such a situation.

“Because I try to protect and distance those I care about,” I said simply. Her scowling face instantly vanished as she backed away, her eyes going wide and darting back and forth before she leaped across the room and into the kitchen.

Such a smooth criminal right there.

Ugh … a Michael Jackson joke.

Either way, that right there told me one important thing about Gilda. Well, didn’t tell me, but rather confirmed it: she disliked sappy stuff or showing off any emotion that wasn’t anger. Given that, I knew right then and there that I had a lot of ways to bug her if she tried to get in my face again. At the same time, it would be hard to tell how she really felt about the serious stuff.

I proceeded to wait until the group came out of the kitchen, all of them chatting minus Gilda, who was being poked and prodded verbally by Dash much to her chagrin. She looked at me before quickly looking away. Such an odd cat-bird.

I silently followed the group out of the Boutique, though Rarity stayed behind, obviously. That just left us with a group of five.

“So what now?” I asked. The group all pondered ideas before a muffled gurgle sprung out of nowhere. It wasn’t mine either. See, you’d think that for it to be audible, it would have had to be mine. Hell, even Gilda’s would have made sense since she seemed to be the biggest of the group. Seemed to be.

No, it was Twilight’s stomach that was telling us our plan of attack.

“Is anyone else hungry?” she asked with a sheepish smile. I couldn’t help but breakdown in a mad fit of guffaws. I mean it wasn’t enough to roll on the ground with, but just something about it all just flipped a switch in me and caused me to start laughing.

It was apparently contagious enough that Dash started to laugh! Hell, even the rest of them joined in in some way. Eventually we stopped, and I wiped my eyes under my glasses. I fucking needed that …

“So where to then?” I asked. Twilight thought for a moment before Dash piped in.

“How about Sugarcube Corner? Pinkie’s probably on shift so we know the good stuff will be in the oven.”

“What does it sell?” I asked, trying to not to picture an actual sugarcube for a building. It was a tempting thought considering these ponies seemed rather literal.

“Pastries, sweets, cake, and other treats mainly,” Twilight replied, still apparently considering her options.

“Anything that isn’t filled with sugar?” I asked. I hadn’t had a sweet tooth in a long time, and honestly I don’t think I could handle something that was too sugary or sweet.

“To be honest, no. They specialise in desert,” Twilight once again replied. “Oh, how about that new sandwich place that opened up? What’s the name again?”

“Sandwich place?” I asked, curious as to what they would make if they didn’t serve meat in their sandwiches. I mean, there was the chance that they would serve meat in them.

“That’s the name! How’d you know?” Twilight said, completely catching me off guard.

“Umm … what?” I asked, more than a little surprised.

“It’s called Sandwich Place, I can’t believe that I couldn’t remember. Maybe you saw it during our walk, that’s probably how you remembered it,” she said as she brought a hoof to her chin as if she was actually contemplating it. I mean she could have been, but there was no way someone was that oblivious.

Also, let me point out that calling a ‘sandwich place’, Sandwich Place is either the most idiotic thing in history, or the owners are the greatest marketers in the fucking universe. Think about it! You hear someone say ‘let’s go to that sandwich place’ and you instantly think of the business named Sandwich Place because it’s the title of an actual business and yet as well as a type of place. Fucking brilliant.

Or fucking stupid, like I said.

“Dash, do you know where it is?” Twilight asked.

“Yeah, I’ve passed by it, like, a dozen times,” she replied with obvious exaggeration.

“Great! I’ll meet you all there. I’ve got to go get Spike. He’s been cooped up in the castle while we were gone. And he’ll get to meet Ryan!” Twilight said before popping out of existence.

“Spike?”

“Twilight’s little brother. Dude’s cool,” Rainbow said before gesturing for us to follow. “Try to keep up!”

She then proceeded to zip away, leaving a little bit of a chromatic blur behind her. I just proceeded to watch her go before slowly walking in that direction. Trixie and Gilda did much the same. The only difference was that Gilda decided to try out her wings.

She took a few tentative flaps before zooming upwards briefly, then doing a loop and coming back down next to us, though hovering slightly.

Let me explain two things before moving on. First off, since being in the castle, Gilda had all of her bandages and stuff removed, as well as she had been apparently cleared to do activities. That part I don’t really know, but it was a solid guess considering there was no wrap around her body any more. Also, that brought up some weird ideas on just how fucking fast ponies and griffons can heal.

The second thing was that even though she was hovering a little more than a meter away from me, I felt no displacement of air. It was as if her wings were doing nothing to keep her up but some sort of magical force was.

While we kept walking, I figured I should at least ask her about that.

“How come I don’t feel air hitting me with each flap of yours? Not to mention, how do you not move up and down while in place like that? It makes no sense!” I said, coming across louder than I wanted to.

Gilda just laughed before pointing to Trixie. I swung my head around to see the mare. She giggled lightly before replying with the most annoying answer in history. “Magic.”

I simply sighed heavily in response. There was a myriad of actions I could have done but no … I just opted to sigh. What else could I do? The world was essentially a counter proof to everything I had learned regarding science and the laws of nature. Who was I to try and combat a whole world in how it worked? So I just sighed and went right back to resigning myself not to understand anything about the world.

Now that was taken care of, I had one more thing to ask Gilda, and hopefully shift away from my constant reminder that the world I was in totally sucked.

“Why aren’t you off chasing Dash if your wing is healed?” I asked directly.

“I umm … I’m supposed to take it easy! Yeah,” Gilda said with a completely horrible poker face. I wanted to smile at it; hell, I wanted to laugh at the horrible response, but instead I gave her a simple ‘gotcha’ as a response. If she didn’t want to truthfully answer it, then who was I to give a fuck? I wasn’t Applejack or anything.

So we walked quietly along the streets, every once in awhile Dash would come zooming back to tell us to hurry up. She gave up after telling us twice and reluctantly fell back to keep pace with us. I kind of felt bad for Dash, but at the same time it was her fault for going off and assuming that we’d run to keep up with her.

Sure, it may have saved us a few minutes had we just ran after her, but walking was fine with me at least. I didn’t need to be in a such a hurry as it was. Even though there were things that I wanted to get done, none of them were important enough that they needed to be done that exact moment. Especially not going to a place named Sandwich Place. In fact, that was probably the least important thing on my To-Do list.

When we arrived, we were actually greeted by the sight of Twilight and what seemed to be a small purple lizard sitting outside in a ‘gated off’ section of the restaurant. Unfortunately, that meant we had to go inside first just to tell one of the waiters that a friend had already grabbed a table. I always hated having to do that … I can see the reason, but that didn’t mean that this was any less annoying.

So we sat down at the table Twilight got: Twilight, Dash, and the lizard on one side, Trixie, Gilda and I on the other. Best part was that I needed a special chair. Fucking cater to me! Haha!

“Ryan, meet Spike!” Twilight said with enthusiasm as she gestured to the lizard. I didn’t understand why this was a big deal to her, and from the look on the little guy’s face, he wasn’t all that excited either.

“Sup,” I said to him casually.

“Sup,” Spike replied before dropping the conversation. I didn’t mind, there was little to talk about as it was.

Apparently that wasn’t enough for Twilight, as she looked to get a little twitchy at the very short conversation. It was the fact her eye was twitching violently and her mane started to spring out of place that told me she had issues.

I mean, I knew she had issues based upon many of her reactions. Hell, we all have issues, so it wasn’t a big deal. The fact she reacted so extremely to the brief interaction showed me the extent of her issues, though. They were possibly pretty bad.

“That’s it?! That’s all you’ve got to say?” she asked, standing in her seat. Only when there was no response did she seem to realise what she was doing. With a very nervous chuckle, she slowly sat down and proceeded to mumble apologies while rubbing her hooves.

“Chill, Sparkle. We’re guys. Totally different social interactions,” I said with a grin. Spike nodded his head in agreement.

Thankfully we were saved from any other awkward conversation by the waiter. Orders were taken and I was lucky to find out that they had tuna salad sandwiches. That was good enough for me, honestly.

I just chilled and sipped on my drink while everyone else became a little awkward and anxious. At least that’s what I saw. As to why, I had no fucking clue. To me there wasn’t anything that could cause such a reaction.

“I’m sorry … I didn’t know what got over me,” Twilight said with a light chuckle. I thought she had already apologized, so if anything, I gave her a curious look. The rest of the group said acceptances and such, which seemed to ease Twilight a little.

“I don’t know why you’re apologizing. Everyone freaks out from time to time,” I said before going back to sipping on my water. Did I ever mention how fresh it tasted? ‘Cause it was fucking fresh.

There was no response to my statement, not that I needed one, honestly. Hell, I was hardly paying any attention to the group as it was. The extent of my curiosity was being taken up by all the things going on beyond the sandwich place. Well, there wasn’t a whole lot actually going on, aside from ponies going about their daily lives.

I have to admit, that I like to people watch; enjoying seeing what they do in whatever situations they find themselves in. It’s amusing to me to say the least.

I mean, for example I saw two ponies chatting rather intensely on a bench. One sat much like a cat would, while the other attempted to sit like we would. It was fucking amusing to see, and thankfully the pony had enough taste to keep her tail between her legs. Though maybe taste isn’t the right word … perhaps luck for me. I mean I didn’t doubt these ponies saw that stuff everyday, but I had no desire to see such things.

Anyway, there were those two. Then there was a lot of haggling going on at a few select stalls that seemed to be selling vegetables based upon their signs. It was funny to see a few ponies getting angry at whatever they were arguing about. It seemed a rather universal gesture for them to stamp their front hooves down when enraged or angry. I filed that away for any later encounters.

Honestly, aside from those two instances, the people watching was going rather slowly as well. There was a whole lot of nothing going on. So much nothing in fact, that I’m going to glaze over the next few hours spent at Sandwich Place.

Eventually our orders came, which snapped me out of my little starring session. We proceeded to eat, Spike and I apparently going to town while the others just nibbled and ate. Well except Gilda; she seemed to just chuck her sandwich into her mouth before it went down her gullet. I was a little impressed at the speed of her eating.

From then on, there were a few more conversations about Ponyville and the like. Hell, I tuned those out, only knowing it was about Ponyville because I heard the name mentioned a few times.

To my relief, it came time to leave the place and move onto to more exciting pastures. Unfortunately, the next plan was actually extremely boring for the most part, but I enjoyed it nonetheless. Don’t worry, I’ll get to it.

We left the sandwich place shortly after letting our food digest, the group still talking about things while I proceeded to hang back from the rest and just walk casually.

I’ll be completely honest with you all, I’m trying to make all of this sound interesting, but it was rather dull and uninteresting … which is the same thing in a way. Thankfully the next part utilized the dullness to allow me to relax.

If that makes any sense …

You see, we made our way out of town and apparently to a park or something where the group seemed to split off. Twilight and Trixie sat down on a bench and were talking about whatever they talked about. Gilda and Rainbow took to the air to do bird things that were beyond me. You know what I mean by bird things … you know.

As more for me, when I saw them all split up, I picked a nice shady tree and sat underneath it, back leaning against it. It might sound like I was going to take a nap, but the reality was that I just enjoy nice relaxing spots to sit back and listen to music. So that’s exactly what I did.

I threw on a shuffle of my music and just lightly closed my eyes while going over the past day or so. I rushed through them rather quickly as it was all still fresh in my mind, but it did bring up some interesting things that I would need to address.

First off, if I was going to be gone from Equestria, then how would Sparkle contact me when she was finished finding the way to send me home? I wasn’t going to have any form of permanent address, so mailing a letter or something was out of the question, unless they had messengers that carried each letter or something. Hell if I knew, but that would have been a great occupation for a pegasus since they could fly and probably find people easier.

Yes, I know I’m saying people instead of ponies; do you have a problem with that? ‘Cause I don’t see how people couldn’t be an all-inclusive term to talk about anything that is sapient or whatever.

Anyway, I doubt my messenger idea was a real thing in that world, so it only made me wonder more as to how she could possibly get a hold of me. Then it registered, the most obvious thought that I completely skipped over. Magic.

She would probably utilize it to hack the world somehow and just tell me, or something like that. It was the most logical illogical answer that made any sense.

I hated how the world was so different from ours, yet at the same time, if I could have learned a way to use magic … I could only imagine what I would have done. Such power must have a cap or something. I mean if it could do anything, then a human wielding such a thing would be the scariest thing in the known universe. The endless possibilities that our minds could come up with … if we removed our own self limitations … god it would be total anarchy.

I couldn’t help but chuckle at such a thought.

“What’s so funny?” Spike asked from right beside me. I nearly fucking jumped right then and there. Once again I was fucking caught by surprise! I almost wanted to punch myself for being so sloppy with regards to my surroundings. I mean, someone snuck up on me again! That had to change immediately.

“Christ … you scared me. Nothing … just imagining impossibilities,” I said, muttering the first part. “Don’t sneak up on me, man.”

“I didn’t?” he said as though he was asking a question. “I’ve been sitting here for a little bit now …”

“Ugh … this place is dulling me …,” I said with a groan. “Need anything or just chilling as well?”

“Actually, I wanted to ask you a few questions!” Spike said as he got up on his stubby legs.

Hold on. I never described Spike to you all. Shit, now I’m getting sloppy in my storytelling. Alright, so imagine a chubby-ish two foot tall purple lizard that has human-like features. Green underbelly scales and rounded off spikes that seem to go from the top of his head downward. That’s essentially Spike. Now, I know you all pictured something different, but it’s tough to describe something that was completely foreign to me in every way, shape, and form. Hell, even Gilda and all the ponies somewhat resembled earth counterparts. Spike though … can’t say he looked like anything I’ve ever seen.

“Sure, as long as you tell me what you are. Never seen anything like you,” I replied curtly before sitting up a little. Slouching is bad, kids.

“Oh, I’m a dragon! Well I’m just a baby dragon, but according to Twilight, in a few years I’ll hit my first growth spurt!” he said with much enthusiasm. Hell, the kid was probably barely a teen at that. At least that's what he looked and sounded like.

“Ahh, gotcha. You can ask your questions now,” I said before turning the volume down on my music. I wasn’t going to outright pause it, the shuffle had already given me some of my favourites, so I wasn’t going to mess with it.

“Twilight told me a little about you, but is it true that you’re a soldier?” he asked with all the joy of a little kid meeting a hero or something. I was torn as to what to tell him. He looked like he was anxious to hear me say yes, and if he was as young as I thought he was, I didn’t want to ruin any potential dreams he had … or something like that. Well, not to mention, telling him that I was would have been better than trying to explain that I merely wander and struggle to survive.

Hell, now that I think about it, I wasn’t all that torn. Don’t know why I paused to answer, then …

“Yeah … I was a soldier from my world. I was among those that worked to keep people safe,” I lied, giving him a small smile. He seemed to beam at that.

“That’s so awesome! But how did you end up here? Twilight didn’t say …” he said, taking a second to ponder or something before his eyes lit up again. “Did you get teleported here by some evil wizard or something?! Or were you sent to help Equestria in some way?! Does that mean we’re allies with humans? Oh my Celestia, that would be radical!”

I fought myself to keep from laughing at the statements. He had a vivid imagination for sure, though to be honest I liked the style of what he was suggesting.

“Nothing like that, kid. I happened to stumble upon some weird relic from your world. No idea how it got to mine, but it sent me here. Besides, we don’t have wizards in our world … everyone is just a ‘regular’ person. Anyway, your big sister is going to find a way to send me back, but I don’t know when. Until then, I’m just going to enjoy this world,” I replied with a small chuckle. He visibly deflated a little at the fact that my story was not as interesting as he hoped it would have been. “Sometimes reality isn’t as cool as make believe, huh?”

“Yeah … why did you call me a kid? I’m not a goat,” Spike said with a little bit of a huff.

“I wasn’t implying you were,” I said in a merry tone. “That’s just what we call children sometimes.”

“Ohhhh,” he said before becoming quiet. He stayed that way until he eventually spoke up again. Apparently he had taken after Purple Smart a little too much. “What did you mean by enjoy the world?”

“I’m going to see what this world is like. Here’s a little quirk about me, Spike … I can’t stay in one place for long. I start to feel anxious and eager to move on. So I just travel a lot. It’s … uhh … why I became a soldier. I saw all my world had to offer, and here I am with a chance to see another world, so I’m going to travel,” I replied before looking up in the sky to see Dash and Gilda zooming around, smashing their way through clouds at incredible speeds.

“That’s awesome! Where are you going to go first?” Spike said, bringing my attention back down to him.

“Tayros. Never seen a minotaur before, so I figured I’d start there,” I replied simply. It wasn’t a very tough question to answer, after all.

“You’re lucky! Twilight hardly lets me do anything cool like that,” he said with a little pout that lasted a good minute before his eyes once more lit up. The way he was looking at me told me everything I needed to know about what he was going to say.

“Sorry, Spike but no. One day you’ll be able to travel, but that day isn’t now and it isn’t with me,” I said, essentially killing the kid’s ‘fire’. “I bring ‘bad luck’ wherever I go, Spike … travelling with me isn’t safe for others. The only reason I have travelling partners is because I can’t stop them.”

“But-” he tried to say before I shifted around to hold his shoulders and look at him.

“I understand the desire to see new places, but if you’re going to do it, do it with your sister or with family … not with some random alien. Perhaps when I get back from my travels I’ll try and persuade your older sister to take you somewhere or something. That is unless you do it yourself,” I said with a wink …. that I realised he couldn’t see because of my glasses.

He nodded solemnly at first before his smile returned and he dashed off towards where Twilight and Trixie were sitting. Thank god I had diffused that situation … then I made a mental note to have Trixie do a complete check of her wagon before leaving. Well that, or at least make sure I could visibly see Spike by Twilight when we left. I’ve seen too many shows and movies where they get a stowaway because of carelessness.

Eventually the group reassembled and called for me to follow them. I had lost track of how long we had been in the park, but if I had to guess it must have been roughly an hour or so. I was on track fifteen of my shuffle, so … though I do have songs on this device that near half an hour or more, so it could have been longer.

Sure, I could have chosen to trust the clock on my iPod to tell me the time, but admittedly I was still under the assumption that the time was different there. I mean, if we were currently in Colorado or Alberta, I could correctly assume the time, since my clock was set to that time zone.

I still had my music on, so whatever they were talking about was lost on me as we headed back to the castle, I mean you could guess the direction since the castle essentially stood over the entire town as it was. So I just hummed along with my music as we all made our way there.

…

Alright, I’ll show you the song I was humming to. It will help me try and find words to make the next bit sound more interesting than it really was.

This one is called, Under the Red Cloud. It was from a band called Amorphis.

…

…

…

The album was amazing when it was released … and I got lucky. I found it just a few weeks before the start of The Reckoning, so I got really lucky with this find.

…

Alright, great song huh? Yeah I can see a few of you nodding your head. Good, as long as I can do this I will ensure that metal won’t die. Though that’s probably something I shouldn’t worry about … as long as people are alive, there will be the opportunity for metal to continue.

So, continuing on, once we reached the castle, I decided to pull out my earbuds and listen to the ongoing conversation.

“Gilda and I are going to tool around Ponyville for a bit. We’ll catch you all at supper, cool?” Dash said while wrapping a foreleg around Gilda’s neck, pulling her into a small hug.

“Alright, Dash. Supper will be in three hours precisely, don’t forget,” Twilight said with a small giggle.

“Hey, ponies as awesome as me don’t forget times! Let’s go, G!” Dash said before taking to the air. Gilda gave me a look as though she was asking for permission or something. She was acting a little more clingy than usual, which weirded me out a little. I just gave her a shrug before nodding my head. I had no control over what she did but I might as well consent just for good measure, right?

“Trixie and I are going to be up in the study, Spike and Ryan. You’re welcome to join us if you want,” Twilight said as she looked between us, which was weird considering that Spike was riding on Twilight’s back, so it was more like she was looking between me and her ass.

Spike gave a shrug of consent, apparently not having much else to do. I, on the other hand, was not going to be content with just sitting around doing nothing. I was too sore to go for a run or anything like that … yeah, the run the previous day really did a number on me. I didn’t have the same body that I used to have when I was younger.

I figured that I might as well read up on where we were going, so I made the snap decision as to what I was going to do. “You have a library here? I need to read up on Tayros.”

“You … you want to visit the library?” Twilight asked, looking cautious in her approach to my statement.

“Yes? Might as well learn about Tayros.”

White light.

Me on the floor once more, though luckily only dry heaves. At least it was getting semi-better with regards to being teleported. At that rate, I only need like four more before I would just feel minor nausea.

“You’re going to need this book, oh and this one … no, this doesn’t have anything on minotaur culture …” Twilight’s voice said behind me. Apparently she didn’t even notice me on the ground. That girl had issues. “This one … this one … oh and you definitely cannot forget about Eloise’s Encyclopaedia of Equis, eighth edition! It has almost everything regarding all of the world cultures! There is a massive section regarding Tayros just in itself!”

I managed to get to my feet, my head spinning a little less than last time, yet at the same time I still felt like my sense of balance had been flipped around a few times. Not a great feeling, mind you, but at least it was quicker to pass that last time.

By the time I finally focused on what was going around me, I was in a massive open area that was lined to the wall with bookshelves that stretched all the way to the ceiling. One thing I had to admit as I looked around the room … the interior really fit the whole ‘crystal castle’ thing. I mean, the entire room looked like a cavern in a cave made out of crystal … a cavern that had a massive window that let me look out towards Canterlot mountain.

…

Yeah, you could say it was pretty closely designed after the observatory … in a way. I mean, it wasn’t a multi-tiered place, just a massive room that also had many tables and small carpets spread out around the place. Now that I think about it, only the window had any similarity to that place.

“Alright, that should be all of the books you need! My study is just to the left, up the stairs and the fifth door on the right! Come find us if you need anything!” Twilight said before she started to head for the exit. I wasn’t looking at her, but the clopping of her hooves on the flooring told me that she was getting further away.

“Trixie apologizes … Twilight Sparkle is rather … oblivious at times,” she said with a small smirk.

“Yeah, I think I can see that,” I replied with a small laugh. Trixie just flashed me her smirk again before following Twilight’s path out of the library. I couldn’t actually see the door thanks to some bookshelves that seemed out of place by being in the middle of the fucking room. Whatever, it wasn’t a big issue.

I decided to crack open that one book that she actually named.

Do you want to know how big it was?

Look at my forearm. Yeah, the thickness of the book was about the length of my forearm. From elbow down to the wrist … that fucking thick.

Thankfully, it didn’t break the table that it was placed on, or I was going to have trouble reading it. So I sat down in a chair and got down to business. Thankfully, Sparkle had been kind enough to give me a small notebook and a pencil to write with. I needed to make notes as to where would be cool places to visit.

You see, in our world we can just free roam as long as we have the means to access an area. Of course it wasn’t always that way, thanks to the fact that we had stable countries and functioning economies … not to mention people ‘owned’ land and forbid people from going on it. Well you see, Equis was exactly like that.

At least that was my guess, considering that countries and governments existed. Who knows, maybe I would be wrong, but I didn’t leave it up to chance. So I planned a little in terms of where I would want to go.

Trust me, you don’t want to know about everything I read.

In fact, I fucking beg you all to not bother with it all! Please!

No, please don’t make me tell you! I can remember it, sure, but that doesn’t mean I want to tell you all anyway! Seriously, I’ll even give you all a spoiler if you don’t ask me what I read! It was sooo fucking boring!

…

Well not really boring, but not something I want to paraphrase, let alone word for fucking word.

…

Thank you! Fucking thank you!

Alright, I’ll give you all a second to get a consensus on the spoiler you want.

…

…

Good? Alright, let’s hear the question.

What happened to me when I first got to Tayros?

Well … that’s not too bad of a spoiler, really. Thank god … alright, so when I first got to Tayros, I got essentially mistaken for a very, very, skinny and sick minotaur. The cow who did that, and yes I found out later they named minotaur women cows, almost suffocated me in her chest. While awesome in one respect, I’m not kidding about the suffocated part. Apparently minotaurs are fucking strong with upper body strength; like really fucking strong!

It was apparently hilarious as fuck for Trixie and Gilda, who just laughed at me continuously for that. They were still snickering half an hour after it happened … yeah it was slightly amusing to say the least.

Oh and I forgot to mention but Minotaur women, while shaped pretty close to our women, are taller by nature, and stronger for the most part. That isn’t the ‘best’ part about that, though … you see, apparently minotaurs don’t know what shirts are … and yes by ‘shaped pretty close to our women’ I’m outright implying that they have tits. Breasts if you want to be more formal about it.

Don’t worry, you’ll get to hear the full details soon enough. I hope that was satisfying enough for you all so that I can skip the contents of the books.

Good.

It was a couple hours later I think when Twilight swung by, finding me with my nose more or less buried in the book still. I think she was a little shocked at the fact I was still going over that encyclopaedia. How could I tell? Hold on.

“You’re still reading that?” she asked me, shock filling her voice.

“Yeah? It’s got a lot of useful info and all, but some of it’s tough to parse without constant referrals to other sections,” I said before putting the book down and rubbing my eyes. They were starting to ache a little … must have been age.

Sparkle didn’t say anything at first, instead apparently inspecting me with some magic. At least that’s what I thought, until I heard a small scratching sound coming from just under the edge of the desk. So I promptly leaned over the desk as far as I could, only to find a quill writing on paper once more. Her writing was a little tough for me to read upside down and from that far, but I could only assume that it was regarding what I had said.

“Eh heh heh … umm, supper’s ready?” Twilight said before making the quill and paper disappear. I looked up at her with a deadpan face to see her shying away while rubbing the back of her neck. I merely shook my head before standing up, grabbing my pack, putting my notes in it, and gesturing for her to lead onwards.

She did so in haste, most likely eager to escape further embarrassment. I wasn’t angry at her, but that didn’t mean I didn’t want to see her pay her dues for possible implications in that writing.

Of course, I didn’t actually do anything. No, she was doing a fine job at making herself squirm and look sorry. Hell, I just casually walked behind her while she led on to the dining room. Every once in awhile she would glance backwards at me and give me a shaky smile as though she was worried I would snap at her.

Don’t worry, I only let her suffer until we reached the dining room.

The door was already open, luckily, but she still gestured for me to enter first. Obviously I walked right past her as I did, thus allowing me to give her a quick reassurance.

“Don’t worry, no harm done,” I said before reaching behind her ear quickly and scratching a little. I didn’t even bother looking at her after I started scratching … though it only lasted a couple of seconds, so why bother looking. I swear I felt the air get a few degrees warmer though. Immediately after I stopped scratching behind her ear, I walked into the dining room.

Honestly, do I need to describe the dining room? Or can you guess what it looked like?

…

Exactly. Crystal everything. Crystal chairs, crystal table, walls made of crystal, and the floor was still crystal. I was starting to get a headache from all of the blue and purple tinted crystals.

Still, I wouldn’t pass up possible food, so I silently took a seat next to Trixie on the right side of the table … well right from entering the room. Dash already had the spot next to Gilda. Twilight took the head seat, while Spike was absent.

Actually, thinking about absent stuff, I noticed that aside from the guards I had seen outside of the door, and two inside the door, I hadn’t actually seen a single member of castle staff or any other pony for the matter. The castle was as fucking empty as a cave … minus bats and whatever. Actually it seemed rather fitting for a castle that was made of crystals. Still, it made me wonder if she had chefs or something. I mean, I’m not a picky eater by any means, but it was still something to wonder about.

It kept me entertained for a few minutes until I realized who was missing and connected the dots.

Spike was cooking dinner.

It was the only option that made sense, and silently I was groaning inside since I’ve never had a good experience when a kid tried to make a meal. Sure, there were ones out there that actually could cook but I had never run into one, so it only made sense to assume that my luck in that matter wasn’t changing any time soon. Thankfully I’m wrong sometimes.

Shortly after I sat down, Spike opened a door that looked like part of the fucking wall until a cart came rolling out of it, with Spike steering it towards the head of the table. He looked like a damn professional!

No, not in cart steering! Idiot!

…

Though admittedly that didn’t really make sense now that I think about it, so sorry. What I meant was that on the cart was a bunch of trays that were covered by lids that thankfully were not made out of crystal. It looked very professional. That’s what I meant.

When he stopped the cart next to Twilight, he hopped up onto his seat and promptly sat down, apparently letting Twilight do the rest of the lifting with her magic. It made sense, since he was only a little bit taller than the table itself.

The food platters floated promptly in front of us, each person getting their own, which caught me a little by surprise. I mean I had expected a communal feast due to the fact that Spike was the cook. It would have been a much simpler task for the little guy. No, instead he had to go out of his way to make all of the food. At that time I felt somewhat sorry for the kid, so much hard work done for such a horrible outcome.

Once again, thank god I’m wrong sometimes.

“Forks and knives are under the cover, so dig in!” Spike said eagerly before yanking the top of his platter off to reveal what looked like smoking gems. Like rubies, sapphires, and such … I nearly cried when he took a bite of a large sapphire. I mean, sure this was a different world, and he was a fucking dragon, but still … it had so much value back home!

I just squashed my sorrow with a sigh and watched as others lifted their covers. Twilight, Trixie, and Rainbow all had a mix of steaming vegetables and what looked like spaghetti with the typical spaghetti sauce.

… phew, I don’t have to describe spaghetti. Thank god you all remember it.

Anyway, Gida lifted her cover to find what looked, and smelled, like one of the best fish dishes I had ever seen. I mean it was covered in some sort of creamy looking sauce and it just looked like it would fall off if you tried to use a fork … I’m sorry, but I can’t help but remember the smell of it … so fucking good.

That’s when I decided to open up my platter.

Shock. Pure unbridled shock.

I was looking at a cut of steak. A thick, medium rare, seasoned with what looked like peppercorn, dripping with juices, beautiful cut of steak. It was like looking back in time to when you could get such things cooked at the highest class restaurants or specialty grills.

“It’s sooo glorious,” I whispered as I leaned forward a little to get a full inhale of the scent that just wafted off the delicious cut of meat. I didn’t even want to cut into it at first, the thing was a fucking piece of art. It was amazing to look at; hell, I bet I could have stared at it until it got cold, and I would feel full. Don’t ask me how that makes sense, but that’s how it felt when I looked at it.

I briefly glanced over at Twilight as if to ask if this was real.

“Applejack’s farm has cows on it. When they get near the end of their lives, they are pampered and taken good care of. In exchange, they … well … there are carnivores on this planet after all,” Twilight said with a small smile.

That dampened my mood slightly as it told me that I was most likely eating something that had once been a sapient being. I didn’t like the thought, but at the same time I realised that this was how it was. I wouldn’t have been surprised if that was the case with everything in this world … in fact, that just gave clarity to the whole manticore attack.

“And this doesn’t bother you?” I asked Twilight, who smiled before pointing over to Gilda. The catbird looked up before looking between me and Twilight for a second.

“What?” she said with a mouthful of food.

“Don’t worry about it,” I said before looking back down at the steak. Despite possible reservations, I couldn’t let it go to waste … especially considering that it probably was the best looking and smelling steak I had ever seen or smelt.

So I took my ‘steak knife’ and cut into it slowly … I hardly needed pressure to cut it. Oh god even the sight of it being cut made me almost cry in sheer joy.

None of you will ever know the feeling of living off of preservatives and campfire-cooked meat, especially now since you have livestock once again. You guys have lived in your settlement almost all of your lives, right? Exactly. I haven’t; sure that was my choice but the fact still stands, that I never had a delicacy like that since before The Reckoning.

Okay, okay, I’m sorry. I can see I’m making you all hungry. I’ll stop with the dinner scene … at least the eating part. I’ll cut to the after eating where we discussed some stuff.

So after that delicious and completely filling meal, we all just sat in our seats for a little bit, letting the food digest, me especially since that steak was fucking massive. I thought back to their ways of acquiring the meat and the fact that Twilight just happened to have it … then I remembered that they have magic, so preservation was probably well ahead of what we once had, though only through cheating. So it was a safe bet that Twilight, being a Princess, had a stock of meat just in case she had carnivore or omnivore house guests.

Still a little morbid about the cows, but it was done and over with.

“So, find anywhere interesting to visit?” Twilight asked me. I realized that I had been slouching after the awesome meal, so I sat up. I always found it rude to talk to someone when slouched.

“A place called Ephyra, apparently they have a castle there that is in nearly pristine condition, and has stood for a couple thousand years or something like that. That’s definitely something to visit, for historical purposes. Oh and then I figured the capital, Calluna City, would be nice to see … and that’s all I can think of off the top of my head. Didn’t commit it to memory yet,” I said. My notes had more, and sure I could remember them, but I still played it off as though I didn’t recall all I wrote down.

In reality, the big places to visit were those two plus Hellespont which was apparently a beautiful city in their eastern mountain ranges, Asphodel which was home to an estate that apparently made a very rare type of bourbon, then there was Archon as it had a series of caves below it that according the book were very beautiful, and then finally there was Edras … there wasn’t anything on the city at all aside from the fact that it was a city in the mountains along with Hellespont. It was the lack of info that made me curious about it.

“I’ve been to Calluna City on a diplomatic mission, it’s really pretty in the spring! It’s unfortunate that you showed up now; two moons earlier and you would have been able to see it. Either way, I wish I could see the other places you’ve mentioned, as I’ve only been able to read about them,” Twilight said with a sad sigh. Damn, she looked like a sulking kitten or something … it’s tough to ignore that, especially since I used to have cats.

“Got a camera? I can take pictures … or Trixie can take pictures,” I said, trying to sluff off the task to the blue mare. She perked up at my mentioning of her name but when she realised the context, she shot me a little glare.

“Really? Yes! I’ll get you the best camera I can find! Oh thank you, thank you!” Twilight said before leaping from her seat and grabbing Trixie in a massive, bear-type, hug. I meanwhile shifted from my seat and moved it between her and I. Unfortunately, she utilized her unicorn cheating to grab me from behind in what I assumed was an equally large hug, but due to my size … well it looked like she was more of a backpack.

“Alright! Spike, show them their rooms, I need to see about acquiring a camera!” Twilight said before she popped out of nowhere once more. Hell, she didn’t even let go of me before disappearing. It was a fucking creepy feeling.

“That’s her Royal Eggheadedness for you,” Dash said as she manipulated a toothpick to pick at her teeth … pony hooves were just as fucking creepy. Either way, Spike eventually sighed and got out of his chair before gesturing for us to follow him out of the door I had originally come in through.

I tuned out everything about that walk, and by that, I mean I held my hands close to my eyes and tunnel visioned myself on the small body of Spike walking ahead of us. Why did I do this you ask?

Well, remember how I was complaining about all the crystals? Well it was starting to give me a migraine, as in a really bad one. It had been a long time since I had a migraine, but the feeling of it coming on is not something that you just forget. Eventually we stopped, and the blue legs that I assumed belonged to Trixie walked out of my limited vision.

“Trixie may wander the castle more later,” Trixie stated before I heard a door silently close.

As we started walking, I felt a claw poke me in the side of my leg. It seemed Gilda noticed what I was doing, and my little game was up. Though it wasn’t a big deal, obviously.

“You alright there, dweeb?” Gilda asked, and despite the name calling I could hear worry creeping into her voice.

“I’m starting to get a migraine from all the crystal shit,” I murmured in response.

“Oh,” she replied simply.

“Don’t worry, just need to close my eyes from all this for awhile, and pop a painkiller,” I replied before sighing, the migraine starting to get worse. “Doesn’t help that I’ve barely got any sleep under me .. my age is starting to show its signs again.”

Apparently Spike overheard me since we stopped abruptly. He pointed to his right, thankfully being short enough to fit into my vision. “Um, this room is mostly covered …”

“Thanks, Spike,” I said before giving up my tunnel vision and pushing open the crystal door.

It was a rather simple and circular room, with no extra rooms minus a small closet. I didn’t need anything like the room in Canterlot, I just needed a bed.

Luckily, as Spike said, it was covered enough to make the crystal walls and floor hardly noticeable. There were enough carpets around the room and banners that it looked like something had decided to have a field day with the room, not that I was complaining or anything since that meant I would hopefully be free of the headache sooner than later. I was also glad that the bed had an awning over it so that I didn’t have to look up at the damned ceiling if I laid in bed.

“I’ll see you all tomorrow … I’m probably going to sleep right away,” I said, to which the rest of the group replied with ‘goodnights’. Once the door was closed, and the group was gone, I promptly started to disarm and the like. I was carefully setting everything out in a way that would be quick to pick up. Sure, disarming would be stupid back here on Earth, but in the castle … well let’s say I was trusting these ponies to not let my life get in danger.

Once I had spread my gear, jacket, boots, and body armour on the largest table in the room, I dug into my pack and found my medkit section. I was silently thanking all the deities for somehow saving many pharmacies over the years. Sure some of the pills were fucking old, but that didn’t mean that they didn’t work … I mean there is always the off chance that something goes wrong when ingesting a pill, but otherwise there had never been an issue.

So I downed an Advil, which was a brand of painkiller from pre-Reckoning, and then flopped on the bed, not even bothering to lay on it the right way. Those of you that get migraines, if there are any of you, understand how little of importance sleeping properly in the bed was to me. I just needed to close my eyes.

The blissful dreamless sleeps that I had had over the last two nights were extremely tempting and I figured that I had earned a night in which I probably wouldn’t be interrupted by Luna. Sure it was nice talking to her, but I really just wanted to sleep again.

And so I did. I literally fell asleep within minutes of face-planting myself in that bed. It was fucking glorious to say the least.

Anyway, that’s all until next time. Don’t worry, next time’s segment will have a lot more stuff going on. I mean, even I’m surprised that I managed to drone on for this long … hell, I’m surprised that you guys have stayed through this much considering the sheer lack of action since the first chapter. Don’t worry, the good shit is coming up soon, I’m giving you my promise that we’re nearing the best parts of the story … or worse parts in some ways.

Don’t worry about all of that though, just know that we are coming up on action and you shouldn’t be disappointed. It’s my job to worry about remembering those times … and my job to deal with those memories, not yours. You’re just my audience. Just my audience ...

Now, off with the lot of you already, I’ve kept you all too long. See you next time … whenever that is. Hopefully it will be soon.

Author's Notes:

Well here is the beginning of a (hopefully) four week posting period, if I can finish chapter 11 by the time week four rolls around. We're on the move again and headed towards the minotaur homeland and you know what that probably means, yes? Of course you do!

Tayros is going to be a fun ride! I can't spoil too much but I think it will be rather exhausting :P

Title song: When All is Said and Done by Firewind

Sure there is an ABBA song called that but this metal!

The usual big thanks to AuthorGenesis, Doctor Candor, PhiliChez, and Word Worthy!