Beneath the frigid moon, a pony ran through the deep shadows that covered Ponyville. She was panting and out of breath- -the only thing that kept her moving was adrenaline. All of the ponies had heard Nightmare Moon, and even though many did not believe it. Regardless, the military had pulled out of Ponyville, redirecting their efforts to defend the kingdom in Celestia’s absence.

That in itself was not a problem- -the problem was that without protection, wandering bands of vigilantes had found their way into the peaceful town with the intent of “defending” Princess Twilight and the Castle of Friendship. Now a group of these ponies pursued Lyra through the streets, their torches spreading threatening light and their weapons glinting ominously.

“Please!” she cried. “I’m not even Blue!” She had always thought of herself as a pale green- -but the mob did not see it that way.

“Hey!” called a tiny voice between two buildings. “This way!”

Lyra paused, her feet moving anxioiusly; she did not know if she should follow the strange voice, but she did know that the crowd was gathering, cutting off the exit she had intended.

“There she is!” called a pony. Lyra decided to follow the voice. As she ran, she heard a sound that was vaguely reminiscent of a tiny engine- -and saw that the pony she was following was riding a scooter.

“Come on,” called Scootaloo. She had a large bag on her back which seemed to be filled with, of all things, rock salt. “We have to get to Sweet Apple Acres!”

Lyra followed Scootaloo as fast as she could; even running, she could hardly keep up with the scooter. The crowd behind them seemed to realize what was going on, and they began moving amongst the buildings.

“Is it…safe there?” panted Lyra.

“Yes,” said Scootaloo. “Big Mac and Still There are holding them off for now. There’s more of us there but we need- -”

Both of them were suddenly knocked to the ground as a building exploded in a blast of blue magic tinged with sickly red. Scootaloo was thrown from her scooter and her rock salt- -meant for Still There’s shotgun- -scattered along the ground. She was momentarily dazed, but could see the reflective eyes and glowing armor of the three unicorns that were approaching.

“Pretty filly,” said the leader of the three, his eyes facing different directions and his mouth twisted into a wide grin. “Pretty filly pretty wings want pretty filly…”

“I want the Blue’s horn,” said another, a mare. The third only gurgled and then collapsed. His comrades walked over him without seeming to notice.

“Lyra!” cried Scootaloo. “Run!”

“But- -” Lyra looked to her side as the crowd of normal ponies began to close in. She saw her exit closing. “I’m sorry, Scootaloo!”

She ran, tears in her eyes, making her way through the last gap in the closing crowd, even as they reached out to grab her. Scootaloo stood as well. Sher scooter had been too damaged to use, so she had to run- -but she was just a filly and had tiny legs.

The exit that Lyra had gone through was rapidly closed, and the crowd tightened around Scootaloo.

“Buck,” she said. “Buck buck buck…” Her only option was to fly. She vibrated her tiny wings and tried to jump, but the most she could do was hover for a moment. “Come on wings! If there was any a time to learn to fly it would be now!”

“She can’t fly!” said one of the ponies in the crowd. “She must be a Choggoth!”

“Buck you!” yelled Scootaloo defiantly.

“She’s not a Blue,” said another pony.

“No,” said a smaller voice, and Diamond Tiara stepped forward at the foot of her father. “But she always hangs out with Rainbow Dash, and she’s a Blue! And if she hangs out with a bad pony, then she is a bad pony!”

“Blue lover!” cried one of the ponies in the crowd. Scootaloo cried out as a small rock impacted her head. More fell on her, most of them small but some surprisingly large.

“We don’t want a Blue lover in Ponyville!”

“Filly filly filly filly filly tiny tiny wings…”

Scootalloo felt hoofs reaching out toward her, and she bit on of them. Then she saw their weapons rising above her, and then falling.

Scootaloo closed her eyes, but found that the impacts against her body from garden tools and pieces of pipe were oddly none painful. She opened her eyes and realized that she was being throttled with pool noodles.

Even more confusing was that the bloodthirsty crowd did not seem to notice that their weapons had been exchanged with lengths of Styrofoam.

“Well,” said a voice from above her. “I suppose this is what they mean by a thousand smacks with a wet noodle.”

Scootaloo looked upward and saw an inertube floating by overhead. In the center of it, complete with board sorts and sunglasses, basking in the frozen moonlight, was Discord. He produced a fishing pole, and lowered the end of it into the crowd, drawing out Scootaloo by the strap on her saddlebags. He looked over his glasses at her.

“Oh dear…I do believe you are far too small of a catch.” He produced a ruler and measured her. “Oh yes, definitely. By you are just so adorable. I know I’m not supposed to interfere or anything, but, come on…you’re Scootaloo.”

He snapped his fingers, and Scootaloo vanished. She had been sent back to Sweet Apple Acres- -or to YakYakistan. It was about a twenty-thirty shot either way.

Below him, the ponies seemed to realize that their weapons had been replaced with foam noodles.

“Hey!” cried an orange-maned mare. “I needed that hoe for my garden!”

“Well then you shouldn’t have used your tools for evil,” said Discord, turning over on his foating pool toy and looking down at them. He turned his attention toward the three armored unicorns- -two of them still standing, and one being stood upon by several other ponies as he gurgled quietly. “That goes triply for you three. So…”

He held out his hand, and their horns dropped into it. He smiled, and then brushed back his own horn and placed their three horns on his head. He crossed his eyes outward and made a hyperbolically serious face. “Look at me,” he said, forcing his voice to become deep and frog-like. “I’m Arcane Domination. I drink blood. I do inappropriate things with gray mares. I’m such a villain.”

“Hey, give us those back!” said the lead unicorn, not noticing that without his horn and magic his addiction and madness had vanished.

“Mine now,” said Discord, restoring his normal horns to normal. The pool-accessories around him, including the pool noodles that the ponies below had, disappeared- -except for one, which turned into a large snake and promptly carried off the pony who had been holding it. “Oops,” said Discord. “Well. Anyway, just be glad I only took the horns on your head. Also,” he parted the crowd and pointed down at Diamond Tiara. “Since when do you let children into a lynch mob?” He sighed. “This simply won’t do.”

He contemplated for a moment what he would do to them. Perhaps he could invert gravity, or turn the ground beneath them to pudding- -or turn them all into hairless donkeys.

Before he could decide, however, the ground around him was wracked with a massive and sudden earthquake. Discord, of course, was unaffected, as he was floating; the ponies around him, however, wobbled comically. Some even fell over.

Around them, large images suddenly appeared on the ground, the lines of which rapidly condensed into broad pentagrams. The lines of each of the pentagrams burned and hissed, and then the ground below them fell into the tunnel-like pits that led to the other side.

The ponies screamed in confusion, but Discord only watched, munching on a bucket of popcorn, so proud of himself for not interfering, as several pairs of cloven hoofs appeared from the glowing pits as the demons pulled themselves into Equestria.

Several demon ponies emerged from each of the pentagrams, as well as several flying creatures that looked like crosses between potatoes and hummingbirds. The flying creatures picked up several ponies in their grasp and pulled them screaming down to Tartarus.

“Satin bless it,” said one of the demons, his tremendous form looming over the shaking ponies below him. “Well, we’ll get them out later.” He looked up, and his eyes widened. A broad smile crossed his face, which caused several ponies below to faint.

“Discord, is that you?” he said.

“Spiny?” said Discord, blinking. “Spiny Violation?”

“I haven’t seen you since Satinmass feast…how long ago was it?”

“Several centuries, now, I think,” said Discord. “Was that the one where I…”

“Where you brought the roast beast back to life and we had to catch it? Oh, good times…hey, I’ll catch up in a bit. On the clock and all.”

“Go ahead.”

Spiny Violation turned his attention toward the ponies below him.

“Hi everypony,” he said. “My name is Spiny Violation. I’m the area coordinator for this demonic invasion. Firstly, let me state that this area is now under the command of Nightmare Moon, who we work for by contract. She has told us to ‘try’ not to harm any of you…but our boss says that we can claim as many evil souls as we want. More importantly, our currency is blood. We literally get paid to beat you if you try to resist.”

Another demon took his place next to Spiny- -a taller, more narrow stallion with a striking leopard-like pattern of dark-red spots on his orange demon body. His cutie mark was a cheese grater.

“Now, if you have any questions or what to try to put up a fight, Knobstripper here will be more than happy to help.”

“Hello,” said Knobstripper. He smiled broadly, leering at the nearest of the ponies greedily. “I really, really hope you resist. Now walk.”

“So,” said Discord. “Leading an invasion now, I see?”

“Ehh, no,” said Spiny, smiling. He and Discord were walking through the perimeter of Ponyville as the other demons there herded the tiny, terrified ponies back to their homes. A few had tried to resist, but quickly realized that demons were resistant to any sort of physical damage. The demons effected generally did not even bother retaliating, except perhaps to kick the attacking ponies or break their limbs. “Lord Satin asked for volunteers for an overtime project, and I signed up straight away.”

“How many of you are there joining our little swaré?”

“Oh, we’ve got thousands. We’re all over Equestria by now.”

“Hey!” called a voice from behind them. “We’ve got a flyer!”

A Pegasus flew overhead, fleeing as fast as she could from demons below.

“Discord, do you mind?”

“Not at all.” He snapped his fingers, and a weight appeared attached to the pony. She flapped as hard as she could, but was dragged back to the earth below.

“Thank you kindly,” said another one of the demons as he picked up the pony in his teeth and carried her off screaming.

“Thanks a lot,” said Spiny. “Hey, why haven’t I seen you in Tartarus recently?”

“Because I was…well, turned to stone by Luna and Celestia. That, and I’m just a little bit sure that Satin banned me.”

“Banned from Tartarus?” Spiny laughed deeply, his voice booming over the land.

“Oh, yes. There was a ban-hammer involved and everything.”

Spiny looked around at the trees, slightly disgusted by their appearance. “Hey, doesn’t Zecora live around here?”

“You know her?”

“Oh yeah. Her great great grandmother was a bridesmaid at my wedding. We still keep in contact a little bit.”

“Wow. You are old.”

“Don’t remind me. But you’re not exactly young either.”

They both laughed.

“Spiny,” said Discord, pouring himself a glass of moonshine from the moon’s shine, “what exactly did Nightmare Moon trade to get you guys here? I mean, the overtime pay and all must be a terrible inconvenience for good old Satin.”

“Permanent military installations,” said Spiny. “Equestria is going to have its first standing demon population. Well, aside from those cute little half-breed bats. I was actually thinking of sending some of my daughters to school here.” His attention suddenly turned to a wide-bodied demon standing at the edge of a fenced in pen, kneeling and kissing the hoof of a heavily blushing and giggling cow. “Byron!” cried Spiny. “Come on! Be professional!”

“Easy for you to say,” said Byron, standing and winking at the cow. “You’re already married. Why did nopony ever tell me that Equestria had such stately and well-formed denizens?”

“Because we all knew that this is what you’d do. Come on…Discord, I’ll talk to you later. There’s a lot of work to do.”

“Yes, creating Tartarus on Equestria. You have fun! Toodles!”

As he watched Spiny and his associate walk off- -with Byron getting slapped in the back of the head at one point- -and saw the cow that Byron had been flirting with turn to her own associates and squeal like a filly- -or a calf, as the case was. Discord immediately became more serious.

“I didn’t know you cavorted with demons,” said Buttery Snake, who had been walking on the other side of Spiny Violation.

“What?” said Discord, turning over suddenly. “Where did- -okay, now you’re starting to freak out even me. And I cavort with a lot of things that I don’t tell you about.”

“I want to cavort.”

“When you’re older. Wait…weren’t you supposed to be playing soldier for miss Moon?”

“I am. This is actually me from two weeks in the future.”

Discord did not know whether to believe the green pony or not.

“I thought you weren’t supposed to be interfering.”

“Me? Interfering? Perish the thought!” he leaned in closer to Buttery Snake. “No, seriously, perish it.”

“Thought perished,” said Buttery Snake, his eyes drifting apart into a wide derp.

“Not all of it!”

“Oh,” said Buttery Snake, his eyes returning to normal.

“And I’m not interfering. Rainbow Dash is simply my friend…somewhat.” He leaned closer and whispered. “Actually, I find her personality grating and unpleasant.” He leaned back into the air. “But what kind of friend would I be if I let her little sister…or whatever she is…get brutally moitled?

“An incompetent one?”

“The question was rhetorical,” said Discord, frowning. “The point is, I would be derelict in my duties as a friend if I let their families get hurt.”

“I once lived in a derelict.”

“No you didn’t.” Discord waved away the Chaos pony. “But I’m fine now. Just go back home before the real fun starts.”

“No way. I’m going to go further back and stand in the crowd when Celestia offs those burrowing Pegasi.”

“Fine.” Discord stretched. “I think I need a nap. Then I do believe I will put some blue die into the water supply. That should be fun!”

Buttery Snake was already gone. Discord looked around, but did not see him anywhere. By this point, he was wondering if Buttery Snake had become an extension of his own mind- -which would imply that he was crazier than he had thought he already was- -or at least, less sane.

Discord sighed, and allowed himself to float upward in defiance of gravity. The situation had decayed rapidly, to the point where it was simply no fun. Chaos was one thing, but this sort was brutal and annoying.

He looked toward Canterlot in the distance. Even he could detect that something bad was coming. The amount of Order in the air was already increasing, electrifying it with the stench of boredom. It was only a matter of time now before the paths started to cross.

There were more pressing concerns, though. In the distance, he could already feel surges of corrupted yellow Chaos pouring through the world that meant that his rival- -the only being ever to be committed to Tartarus voluntarily- -had joined the fight. Not to mention that a group of heavily armed former soldiers were starting to surround Sweet Apple Acres.

Discord sighed and reached into one of the nearby clouds and withdrew an object of indescribable shape and indefinite purpose.

“I do suppose my nap can wait,” he said as he brandished the device and slowly fell back toward Equestria.