A Musician's Guide To: "Whatever this is"
Chapter 5: Chapter 5: Anatomies And Secret Cheese
Previous Chapter Next ChapterI woke up the next morning to Chrome. Lovingly yelling "The Tartarus did you do Dan?!" from inside my room.
"What?" I groaned as I rolled and sat up to find him standing at the end on my bed. Rather mad. Oh yeah, sure, just let yourself in.
"Yesterday." He simply said.
"Wow, you know already? News travels fast round here huh?" I said, giving him a tired look.
"Dan, news tends to travel fast between friends you know." He looked quite offended.
I rubbed the sleepy feeling from my face. "Look, I didn't mean to flirt with her, it's just a human mannerism I need to grow out of. Also, I didn't know you were friends with Luna. You two dating or something?" Did I mention that I was an idiot?
His face completely blanched. "D- Dan..."
"Yeah?"
"I was talking about what you did to Feather." My eyes widened.
I blinked. "Oh... Well, forget what I just said. Yes I know, I over-reacted, I'm sorry. Can you get out for a second so I can get dressed?" I was covering my body with the bed sheets, but I had slept in my underwear, so it could have been worse.
"Dan, you know I was both joking and drunk the other night right? I don't actually want you getting all of the mares just yet. Calm down, you need to settle in more first! Don't just go flirting with whoever you please! I was kidding!"
"I know! I already said it was an accident. Now, get out so I can dress or I will just have to do it with you in the room."
"Okay! Okay! I'm moving!" He left the room, I got back into my original clothes, which seemed to have been washed, somehow. The palace staff are basically ninjas sometimes. When I called him back in he was still pretty mad with me, but also very interested. "So, you flirted with Luna?"
"Yes, on accident!" I said as I sat on the corner of my bed. "Please tell me that flirting is as common here as it is in my world... and that she is just over-reacting since she hasn't been flirted with for ages."
Chrome grit his teeth awkwardly. "Dan... Bad news dude." NOOO "Flirting is kind of an... advanced thing here. Only couples are meant to use it, otherwise it's considered weird... and creepy."
"Well, that explains her reaction at least. Better go explain this to her before she does... something. Just gotta find her first." I said as I began to stand from the bed.
"Oh, thats easy. She's just outside of the door, staring at it." He pointed to the door with wing. I froze half-way up. "Shes waiting for you or something."
"What kind of stare?" I asked, looking to him, but keeping my body still.
"Err, kinda like... this..." He pulled a face. I studied him for a second.
"Yep, she's been there all night." I sat back down onto the bed limply, bouncing slightly as a result.
"What?" He asked, tilting his head. "All night?"
"You heard me. She froze after I did it, so I pushed her outside my door and went to sleep." I pointed to the scrapes left by her hooves on the floor. His mouth was gaping.
He looked to he with a sympathetic frown. "You want me to go get Celestia?"
"Please do." I practically pleaded.
He nodded, "I will see if she is free. She'll know how to deal with this."
I thought of something. "Hey, actually, could you take me with you? Me and her are meant to be having a meeting today, for whatever reason. Plus..." I leaned in closer and lowered my voice. "I don't want to be alone with Luna again."
He nodded and we set off to find Celestia, carefully skirting around Luna, still gawking in the doorway. I knew alicorns were meant to be resilient but god-damn, had she been staring all night?
I realized, a couple corners later, that moving around with a only recently healed leg was not the best of ideas, it still hurt to put weight on it. And the stairs sucked. And as it turns out, the place we were going to just so happened to be one of the highest places in the palace, so there were a LOT of stairs. Chrome had to slow down for me, and eventually settled for using a wing to help push me along.
After a couple flights-worth of spiral stairs, we made it to a very well decorated wooden door, with four guards either side all looking ahead as if we were not there. There was orange sunlight coming in from a small rectangular window that was slightly ajar, letting in a small breeze of cold air and casting a silhouette of the guards on the floor with its radiant light. I took a moment and looked out of the window, there was a balcony coming out of the room behind the guarded door, and almost all of Canterlot was visible, cast in the dawn's orange glow. A pretty damn good view. I turned to Chrome, who was waiting by the door, after having talked to the guards.
"Look, before we go in there, what happened with Feather was-"
He cut me off "You already apologized. It's fine, and you need to sit down. Let's get this over with." Meh, okay. That's a little direct for him, but I ain't complaining.
He nodded to the guard to the right of the door, he nodded back and he knocked on the door in a strange rhythm. "You are free to enter." He said, in a voice that was so manly it surprised me.
Chrome thanked him and slowly opened the door and walked in, I followed him. Once I was a suitable distance from the door he closed it behind me. I could get used to this, maybe I should break my legs more often. Chrome remained behind me as I inspected the room.
As I had saw, there was a large balcony connected to this room, it's size was about the same as the room itself, with rounded edges. So this is where Celestia spy's on them from. The room was well decorated, yet simple. There were filing cabinets and bookshelves lining two of the three available walls, since one was occupied by the balcony and the other; a wooden desk, covered in neatly piled papers and a white alicorn who was hunched over them. She quickly turned her chair around with her usual smile on when we came in.
"Please," She said, remaining seated. "Sit, let us speak. We have much to cover."
She pointed with one hoof to the two very conveniently placed chairs in the center of the room, forming a triangle of chairs pointing away from the door. Celestia's being the furthest from the door. Chrome quickly took his seat, the one to my right. I paused slightly and more hesitantly took the one on my left. I trusted Celestia, but I wasn't throwing myself around at her order just yet. For some reason a wider smile replaced her natural one when I did that. I gave her a suspicious look, her face didn't change.
"Dan, Chrome," She said with respective nods "I trust you know what we are here to discuss?" She said, glancing between us for an answer. I did so.
"One of three things." With each reason, I lifted a finger. "One: Feather. Two: Luna. Three: Music." Celestia was confused by the first two, and Chrome was confused by the last one.
"Well," Celestia started, putting a hoof to her chin, "I DO have quite a bit of time today, so let's discuss these extra topics first. Those being numbers one and two. Three can wait."
Chrome turned to me, still confused. "What about music?" I gave him a 'nevermind, later' hand gesture. I don't think he understood, but I carried on anyway.
I looked back to Celestia. "Well, the first topic then, is Feather." Chrome recoiled slightly. "She is the friend that-" Celestia cut me off.
"-You 'may or may not have'" Her hoofs made quotation marks, somehow. "Made faint in the hallway before you ran from the guards?" I nodded. "Well, I will be sure to give her a visit, where is she likely to be?"
"I don't know, actually. Chrome?" I asked the grey pony.
"She is still in her bed, in the palace Infirmary." Giving me a fixed glare.
I recoiled in guilt. "Dude, the Infirmary?! Is she okay? I over reacted and said some things I should not have said, but God- I mean... er something else." I stuttered.
Chrome seemed confused. "Dan, it's not what you said that caused her to be hospitalized, it's what you DID."
"What? All I did to her was... hold her up."
"Yes, you did. But you did so in such a way you constricted a blood-vessel with each... hand." He said pointing at them. "Dan, do you know what a 'pressure point' is?"
Oh no. "Yes, I think I do."
"Well, you found one. You cut off her blood flow almost entirely. You are lucky there was no lasting damage Dan!" He half yelled, trying to rein in his clear anger. He didn't want to be mad at me, he knew he was basically all I had. I sighed and buried my head in my hands for a second, then looked to Celestia, she was looking in on our conversation with slight dis-taste. Clearly she never heard the specifics from her guards.
"Add another topic to the list, " I said, raising a hand as I looked at the floor, "Pony Anatomy lesson." Then a thought struck me. "Wait, no. Nevermind, that is basically included in topic number two." Celestia's eyebrows lifted.
"Chrome." She said, the pegasus nodded briefly. "Could you go and check on Feather for us? Me and Dan have some... things... to discuss." Her eyes narrowed at me with that last sentence.
"Yes Princess!" Chrome practically ran out the door. Thanks for the help Chrome.
Once we were alone I straightened myself up. She gave me a strange glare. "Would you care to explain to me what you meant by needing an 'anatomy' lesson, and how that included my sister."
"Look," I said, nervous. "You are not going to be very happy with me." Her eyebrows lifted, then her eyes narrowed harshly. "I need a couple lessons, one on what parts of a pony I can and cannot touch." She nodded, seeing reason in this. "And one concerning the... courting and rituals of ponies." Her eyes were like shards of glass cutting into me.
"And, how, again, does this involve my sister? I did notice that she did not retire to her room this morning..." Oh... Yeah... that looks bad doesn't it?
I gulped. "Well... I accidentally... kinda..." I paused. Celestia continued her painful stare. "Flirted to her." ... "Accidentally!" I quickly added, as I flinched, ready for something to strike me, instead of magic or a hoof to 'smite thee', only words came.
"And that's all?" Celestia said, her stare lessening slightly. "And how does one 'accidentally' flirt?"
"Yes, that is all that happened. And..." I pulled my journals out of my back pocket, and turned to the respective page.
"You've kept a diary?"
"It's a journal, Celestia. I kept ajournal. Is that a problem?"
"Not at all, just odd."
"Whatever." I paused and found my 'encounter' with Luna. I turned the book to her and pointed her where to start reading. "Start reading here, and keep going until the next day. This is basically the exact dialog too."
"When did you get time to do this? You wake up early?"
"No... I... made time."
She huffed and read through the pages, until she reached the next day. Her emotions were fun to watch, though also conserning at times. She levitated the book back to me and I placed it back in my pocket.
"Well?" I said.
"This is indeed a problem I didn't think would need to be dealt with so soon after your arrival, but your a bit more... popular than I thought you would be." I rolled my eyes hard enough that there was no chance she could miss them. "Why, a fashion designer came in earlier asking about the courting and rituals of humans!" If I was drinking, I would have spat it out all over Celestia at that.
"...Hazel Thread by any chance?" She seemed surprised.
"Oh? Know her?" There was a pause. "Don't worry Dan, I know you don't want anything to do with us at the moment, and by the sounds of her question, she was trying to find out if something you had done was a proposal of some kind. You do anything nice for her?"
"I gave her a tip." Celestia blinked. Oh yeah, that's not a thing here. "It's something we do where I come from, when we receive good service we leave extra payment meant specifically for the person that served us. Its a sign of thanks. Nothing more."
"Hm, and you make humans out to be so bad sometimes."
I 'psshed', "You've heard nothing yet."
She blanched slightly. "After hearing what you have already told me and what the guards have heard... I would like to keep it that way, for both of our sake's. But enough of this, go get some breakfast, then meet me back here. I will have a 'lesson' ready for you." Her eyes half-lidded on the word lesson, and the word was extended in a way that I was not comfortable with.
My eyes widened and I just stared at her, shocked. She giggled. "Just messing with you Dan, you are so easy to get sometimes. Now go get some food." I am pretty sure I would have just stood there and gawked for a couple minutes if she had not teleported me to the palace cafeteria. All the ponies in the room, which was many since most of the many seats were full, snapped there necks around to stare at the source of the flash of light and sound.
I just sighed and got in the existing line, picking up a tray at the beginning and filling it with anything I could eat without throwing up. The room reminded me of the typical school-cafeteria, large long tables full of ponies buzzing with chatter, most of it being about the biped that just teleported into the room.
I found myself without an empty table to sit at, I scanned the room for a pony I knew and found no such luxury. But I had to sit somewhere. Then I saw a lone stallion in day-guard armor, on a smaller table towards the back of the room. An introvert! perfect! I bee-lined for him, his back was to me, so he didn't see me coming till I walked past him and sat opposite him on the small, square table.
I set my tray down, sat and inspected the pony in front of me. I froze. He was just staring at an empty plate on an empty tray on a previously empty table. But that's not what got my attention: his eyes had pricks of green in the center of each iris, the color seemed to flicker like a flame in his skull. But I saw no green lights in his reflection on the plate. And I knew this place's 'thing' with the color green. This guy must be trouble, somehow.
I warily started eating my tomato and lettuce-based salad, since leaving the table after sitting might be rude enough to trigger whatever this pony was capable of. As I ate, I felt a strange presence come from the pony in front of me, he was not looking at me, still staring down at the plate, but I felt as if he was... inspecting me, searching me. The feeling suddenly stopped, then he slumped down ever so slightly. I narrowed my eyes at him, trying to get a better look at him. He looked up at the wrong time, his eyes met mine then filled with panic for a split second, before returning to the plate and squeezing his eyes shut, his body tensed as if expecting me to strike him. I had an idea of what was going on now, well, some of it at least.
"Excuse me sir," I said in my most polite tone, "May I have your name?"
He flinched at my words but looked at me in what I assumed was relief. "I am..." He started in a voice that seemed to crackle, he cleared his throat and continued in a timid voice, slightly higher than the average stallions I believe. "I'm... Ebony Towers."
"And I am Dan, I'm a human, by the way." I tried my hardest to make myself sound oblivious to his obvious ruse. It worked, since his confidence increased dramatically.
"Yes, Cele- Princess Celestia told the guar- us, us about you." Oh my god, you have ONE job. "She said to treat you as a civilian, despite being... different. But she didn't specify what the... difference was." I gave him a knowing look, trying to convey the words 'wouldn't YOU know about being different' and I think it worked, since he flinched slightly, I rolled my eyes at this and he stared at me, not sure what to do. He couldn't tell if I knew or not yet. I chuckled slightly at his expression. After an awkward pause, I decided to test something, I thought about something, I looked to him, no difference, I thought something different, I looked at him, his eyes were full of life and he was staring at me, unbelieving. Then... Then I KNEW.
I was thinking about love.
"Hey," I said. "Ebony?"
"Y-yes?" His eyes hopeful.
I leaned over the table, to his ear. "Would you mind escorting me to a more private location? So we may talk more... private matters." I said, in a slightly hushed tone. Smiling at him as I pulled away from his ear.
"O-of course!" He said, thinking he knew what I meant.
"Lead the way." I said, pointing to the cafeteria door. I had nearly finished my food and was feeling full anyway.
He stood slowly and lead me out of the room, down a couple halls and into a guards-only sector, he allowed me access. He lead me into a hallway with doors along each side of it and ending in a dead end, he entered a room labeled "231 - E.T." ET - Ebony Towers. Hm, personal quarters by the looks of it. . It was a personal living quarters of sorts, it only had one room, with the bare minimum in it: sheets, wardrobe, a couple drawers and a desk. He locked the door behind me. I was in the middle of the room, and he was in between me and the door. There were no windows. Welp, no way out now.
"Tell me, what did you want to... discuss?" He asked confidently. Raising one eyebrow. A playful smile on his lips.
"Drop it." I said.
"What??" He said, his eyes widening.
"I refuse to talk to a facade, show me your true self." I crossed my arms.
He lowered his head and with a flash of green, a pony no longer stood before me, but a changeling. He had both of his eyes closed and had his head to the floor.
"You caught me." He said, in a tone so saddening I really wanted to just reach out and hug him. "Do what you wish with me, I have failed and deserve no mercy." I stared at him, shocked. So the other ponies didn't know? That means they can't see the green specs in his eyes when he is disguised... but then... why could I?
"I do not wish to harm you, once we are done talking I will likely allow you to return to your... mission, whatever it may be." He snapped his head up, and stared at me with giant blue orbs. I had to fight to keep my composure, I always thought changelings were cute, in a way. But in person? They were just plain cute, but in a dangerous kind of way. Like some dragons are. Or the night guards.
"May I ask you something?" He said in a quiet voice. I nodded "How did you... do that?" He asked. "Does your kind have the ability to fabricate feelings?" I was confused for a second, before I realized what he meant.
"In the few awkward seconds back in the cafeteria, after you recited the guard's orders, I had decided to test something, Since I already had some suspicions. I had used the first couple seconds to think about the saddest thing I could, I had heard that changelings could taste every emotion, not just love. But when I looked for it's effects, nothing had happened so I dismissed that theory." He shuffled slightly as I was about to continue. "What?"
"We- We can."
"Oh... okay, I guess the sadness didn't really effect you to much then?" He shook his head. "Interesting. The couple seconds after that I thought about love as hard as I could, when I looked to you; your eyes looked lively, healthy and surprised. I knew then that you could feel my love. I then used that love as a way of luring you away, into a more private place. Sorry to have disappointed you, I am sure you expected something a bit... different from someone who was asking for a discussion of 'more private matters' while emitting love." He was just staring at me, completely shocked.
"Why are you still doing it then?" He asked, tilting his head.
I blinked. Then shrugged. "I always thought you guys were cute, must just be that."
His mouth hung open. "R-really?" I just nodded. He continued gaping.
"So," I said, he shook himself and looked more attentive. "Now that that's covered, why are you here? Give me the truth and maybe I will reward you." I thought about love again for a second before stopping, he got the hint and perked up slightly.
"I am one of the last changelings in Equestria, as far as I'm aware. I have been here since years before the Canterlot invasion, and luckily, the wards the guard captain put on us happened to protect my disguise from the love-blast that ended the attack. I am not part of that Queen's hive. I am part of another's, or rather, was. You see, I was sent out as a scout, I assumed the identity of a pony civilian and scanned the area, I was very young at the time and it was my first real mission. I was about to send back my information to the hive, via a mental link all changelings have to their Queen, when a burst of magic exploded from one of the buildings, it knocked me to the ground and when I got up my young, curious mind wanted to know what it was that caused that magic burst. Luckily I was disguised as a pegasis at the time so I just flew up to the window of the building I thought it came from.
"I looked through and saw the pony's only ruler at the time and a small filly staring up at her. I landed back on the street and tried again to contact the hive, but I could not send anything, only receive. And I could not go back manually either, since changelings will be killed on sight if they do not alert the hive that they are approaching, and I no longer had that ability. I heard my Queen asking me where I was, if I was still there, if the area was safe... if I was safe and... I could not answer. Eventually they declared me dead. A couple years later I heard on the link that they were being attacked by something, then the link was suddenly broken, completely, signifying the Queen had been killed. I gave up all hope on every getting back to the hive, then. During the years I had been in Canterlot I had solidly implanted myself in society, about a year after the queen's death I joined the junior guard, genuinely hoping I would be sent out to a report of changeling activity, so I could join my own species again, but I was assigned palace guard instead. And here I am, 7 years later." I took in the story. It seemed true.
He must have been just bigger than a foal when he first got to Canterlot.
And it was most definitely Twilight's cutie mark that caused that magic blast, but I wasn't about to say that.
"Thank you for being truthful, I can only prove parts of your story, but I trust you either way." The changeling smiled at that. "Hey, you got like, a changeling-name or something?" His smile faltered.
"No, changelings identify each other with their telepathic links, so there is little need for names in a hive. Though some do like to be called by their 'pony-name'. So I guess you can call me by that, still."
"Okay, well, thanks Ebony. This must be hard for you, or at least it looks like it is." Ebony nodded slowly. "Now come-'ere" I said as I went down onto my knees and extended my arms outwards. Ebony rushed into my embrace, putting his hoofs over my shoulders. He felt weird. But that didn't stop me from tightly squeezing the cute little guy. I pulled away slightly and he reluctantly left my arms. I smiled at him and he returned it ten-fold. "This does not have any side effects right?" I asked. Actually now thinking about what I was doing.
"Not if it's willingly given, like your's, no." He said as I stood back up.
"Ah, okay. Sorry, but I need to get to Celestia before she starts to worry. Go back to doing your guarding thing." Ebony nodded and with a flash of green, became the pristine-white day-guard he was known to be. The green specs in his eyes returned, still visible to me, and glowing brighter than before. Must be all that extra love.
He left first and I waited for 5 or 6 minutes before leaving, to dispel any rumors that might arise from this 'private meeting'.
I set off to find Celestia, she was likely still in that room from before, so I headed there.