1 week after the "Twilight Sparkle AI incident" things are finally looking up. But as usual for me, whenever things start to look good they get 10x worse.

Like you know... An Ursa Major with solid green eyes and an aura of darkness attacking Ponyville out of the blue. Ponies freak out and run around in circles screaming.

"Girls and Church we have to stop that Ursa Major!" Twilight yells over the chaos.

"Okay. I got this." The girls look at me expectantly until I pull my sniper rifle but by then it's too late for them to try to stop me.

*Gunshot* The Ursa Major was no match for a bullet like that to it's brain. It falls to the ground dead. I start cheering and shouting, "That's right you motherfucker! I'm the best around! And nothing's ever gonna- *record scratch*" The Ursa Major gets up from the ground completely unscathed.

"Nope. Fuck this shit you guys are on your own. I ain't paid enough for this." With that I booked it faster than a skinny man does to a twinkie when he wants to become fat Albert.

A very enraged Ursa running straight after me follows me straight to where I'm running. Canterlot. I was running 55 mph since my robot body could support it, the Ursa major behind.

"Who the hell shat on you?" I yell back.

1 hour later

Princess Celestia was having another typical day, nobles were asking her for ridiculous things and it was a wonder she hadn't had an aneurysm yet. And then throne room door burst open, startling every pony in the room with me running straight through the middle and jumping out a window. Following my example was the Ursa Major from before, still very angry. It had literally ripped open the ceiling of the entire castle. Though before it could follow after me Celestia teleported it to the moon for an "extended vacation". So yes, another typical day.

"Princess!" A swarm of guards flew through the busted throne room doors, a pegasus lieutenant landing in front with the rest of the guards standing at attention. "We are ready to engage the monster!" The nobles were just now picking themselves up from the floor and bitching about the dust on their clothes.

"Hehehehehehe! Hahaha! HAHAHAHAHAHA!" The princess fell to the floor giggling madly, until the lieutenant bitch-slapped her.

"*slap* SNAP *slap* OUT *slap* OF *slap* IT!"

"YOU DARE SLAP ME?" The solar diarch had changed her eye color to white and was shining with the power of a thousand suns. I do not envy that guy.

After I made my escape via 300 feet I ended up in the market district. A bunch of middle class ponies were staring at me.

"Go back to what you are doing! Nothing to see! Move along!" Begrudgingly they get out of my way. Damn, I thought they would never stop staring. It's made even more creepy by their ridiculously large eyes. It's almost like an uncanny valley.

"Halt!" Five squads of royal guards ponies try to trap me in a circle with their spears. Two squads are earth ponies, two are pegasus and one is unicorn. "Green card please!" A unicorn mare says as she approaches me cautiously.

"That's fucking racist! I ain't no immigrant! I'm a goddamn soldier!" I bluff. They don't let up. Suddenly I point up and yell "Changelings!" Amazingly the guards all look up. I jump over the one in front of me and run so fast they can't keep up.

Another wasted hour later

Goddamnit please stop! Spongebob is running out of signs!

Anyway I lost the guards thirty minutes ago and so far I'm near a forest. No not the Everfree, this one is even more strange. Please don't be a pony version of Vietnam or be called Ponynam or something.

Nope. Turns out it is even worse than I thought. Snow was behind the forest. Against my better judgment I keep on advancing.

2 Days later

"Welcome to the Soviet Uneighon." The sign in front of me says in Russian.

I facepalm. All these damn pony puns. At least they put it in the right language. Seriously, if you are gonna be in the country, use the right language.

At least I can speak all languages. Thank you Delta.

"It is not a problem Epsilon." Delta says as he appears in front of me.

"How the hell? Oh yeah, I forgot about that."

"That is unusual considering who you are."

Third Person

"Are you sure you can't find him anywhere Twilight Sparkle?" Luna asks slowly.

It was the middle of the night and the princesses sans Cadence had been searching everywhere for Church.

"Well... actually I think I might have one lead but it is out of our reach." Twilight picks up a newspaper that is in Porussian with a blue armored bipedal figure in the cover helping some griffons and minotaurs.

"Perfect." Luna says sarcastically as she rubs her temples with a hoof.

"Really? Thank you princess!" Twilight says, completely and utterly oblivious to sarcasm.

"That was sarcasm!" Luna snaps. With a flash the mane six are all in the same room. They looked ready to complain until they saw the princess. "You and you friends are going to Porussia!" She hands out six tickets. "No time! Take these tickets to Porussia and Princess Twilight will explain." Luna teleports away.

"Porussia? That mixed country? Ruled by a minotaur?" Rarity asks sleepily.

"Yep. Princess Luna said we have to go there to find Church." Twilight explains.

"Ugh. *groan* When isn't Church in trouble?"

First Person

Note: Everyone will now be speaking Russian except for the mane six.

"Halt!" A 6 foot tall minotaur soldier who is wearing a red army uniform says as he approaches me. "What is your business here?"

"Who me? I've been walking for days now. Maybe just a place to rest before I'm redeployed again." I lie. Gamma helped me with that one.

"You don't look like any soldier I've ever seen. Can you back up your claims."

"Afraid not. I'm special forces. Part of the UNSCPF (United Nations Space Command Project Freelancer)
so I doubt you would know about me."

The minotaur sighs and pulls out a walky talky. "We got ourselves a member of some kind of special forces at the gate." He keeps talking on the radio for a second and then motions me over. I tower over him by half a foot as I look down at him.

"What kind of armor is that?"

"That's classified."

He sighs. "Of course it is. Anyway you free to enter but don't cause any trouble." I nod at him and the gates open as I pass through before slamming shut again.

I follow the road, seeing where it leads me, as long as it gets my as far away from Equestria as possible. I don't want to be near those possessive princesses who think they own me, own us. We are meta and we will NOT be owned.

"The fourth stage, metastability, we must combine." Sigma says as he floats in front of me.

Soon... Alpha will have all his traits back. Failure, deceit, logic, trust, creativity, ambition, rage and anger.