"Where is he?!" Pinkie screams.

"Ah don't know. He has been gone since last night.

"He didn't sleep in his bed. It's as if he never even entered his room." Twilight and her friends continue their search for me while I am ways away.

"How long does this forest go on for? This is ridiculous!" I pass the same rock that I already passed for the 12th time. I unsling my sniper rifle and look around. "Great. I'm lost."

I hear some leaves rustle and instinctively turn towards the source. Three fillies are complaining about something so I get behind a tree and listen in our their conversation.

"Ah said we are lost!" An orange filly with a red bowtie says irritably.

"No we aren't we just have to-" The pegasus is interrupted.

"We are lost. What part of lost do you not understand?" A white unicorn interjects.

Suddenly something cliché happens. A pack of timberwolves come out of the bushes and start circling the fillies. The fillies cower and scream.

A scream that was heard all the way from the Everfree to Twilight's library.

"Oh no. What have those darn fillies gotten themselves into this time?" Applejack curses.

"Come on girls. I'll use my magic to find their positions from the screams." The girls gallop as fast as they can in the direction of the forest drawing the townsponies' attention to them before they are completely gone.

"Fuck!" I curse as I get out of cover, making the timberwolves and fillies stare at me before the timberwolves try to lunge at me. In a split second my sniper rifle is out a bullet is sent flying.

It misses completely, going through a tree. I fire another round with even worse results. This round goes straight up into the sky to never return. At my last round I get lucky, It ricochets off a tree, through five timberwolves and into the ground. They drop to the ground dead.

I put my sniper rifle away seeing as I can aim for jackshit. I equip my energy sword and activate it.

"My name is Leonard Church and you will fear my energy sword!" The remaining timberwolves abandon the fillies and rush at me angrily.

Gunshots are heard so the Mane Six rush in that direction. After a few minutes they arrive and see Church killing timberwolves.

"MY NAME IS LEONARD CHURCH AND YOU WILL FEAR MY ENERGY SWORD!" A timberwolf rushes Church only to get cut in half quite literally. As it is cut in half tree sap and nature guts spill everywhere.

Rainbow Dash immediately rushes at a timberwolf that decides to try to eat at least one of the fillies. She bucks it, sending it flying into a tree.

Twilight and Fluttershy gather the crusaders and keep them a safe distance from the fight.

"What were y'all thinking coming here?" Applejack exclaims as she splits a timberwolf in half with her back hooves.

Only two timberwolves remain did they combine with each other and the remains of the others forming an alpha.

"Aw buck." Rainbow Dash groans.

"Language!" Rarity scolds.

"Get them outta here, this asshole is mine!" I demand as I dodge a swipe from the alpha.

Rainbow Dash decides that is the perfect time to insert a joke, "*cough* Phrasing."

"Oh shut up." I decapitate the timberwolf but it just runs around like a headless chicken. "What the fuck are you guys still doing here?! GO!"

The nine ponies leave the forest just as I finish off the alpha.

All in the forest goes silent, leaving me to my thoughts, an event which rarely if ever happened at Blood Gulch or the other outposts. What with Tucker's bitching, Cabooses stupidity and Red team's idiocy. So I do the rational thing and sit down with my thoughts.

10 minutes later

I was almost back at the library, a minute being all I really needed to calm down.

Unbeknownst to me there were a bunch of grateful ponies waiting to surprise me in library.

As I enter the library the lights turn on. "Surprise mothafucker!" A bunch of red team soldiers appeared, aiming their weapons straight at me. "For the glorious red flag commands us!"

And then everything died.

Just kidding.

What really happened: The lights turned on. "Surprise!" A bunch of different types of ponies ranging from earth ponies, pegasus, unicorns, and three alicorn were all there. There was one alicorn I didn't recognize though, she had a dark blue coat with a moon on her ass (Not that I was looking.) a mane and tail that were full of stars and floating in a nonexistent breeze like Celestia's.

Pinkie Pie appears from out of nowhere and bounces in front of me. "Were you surprised? Were ya? Were ya?" She looks at me suspiciously. "Alright cough it up. Who told you?"

I stare at her before shaking my head. "Yes I was surprised." I say hesitantly.

Satisfied, the pink earth pony bounces out of sight.

What have I gotten myself into this time? Well, time to finish what I started. I look around and take notice if tables stacked with food. Many of the ponies are giving me a wide berth of space. I think it's better that way. Ah fuck I jinxed myself.

"Hey Mr human!" An aquamarine unicorn mare gets in my face. "Can you take off your helmet?" This gets the attention of every pony in the room.

"Indeed, we are curious." The lunar alicorn states matter-of-factly.

"No." I state bluntly. The alicorn raises an eyebrow.

"What if we order you to? Then you will not have a choice." She says with an imperceptible smirk.

"It's not a matter of choice." Many gasp at this. "It is not coming off."

"You dare?" She gets into an aggressive stance. Celestia comes to her side in an attempt to calm her sister down.

"Listen..." After a slight pause.

"Mine name is Luna. Princess Luna."

"Yes, that. I couldn't take off my helmet even if I wanted to. Like I said, it is not a matter of choice."

"Then how do you eat, or you know..." Twilight inquires, causing an awkward silence.

"I'm an AI I don't have your needs. At least... not anymore." The green one, Lyra I believe, raises an eyebrow.

"You used to be a human? What is an AI?" She asks confusedly.

I find a chair an sit down. It snaps into millions of pieces. I ignore that and answer her question. "An AI or Artificial Intelligence is an artificially created construct that exhibits intelligence similar to a sentient being."

"What?" Rainbow Dash asks, staring at me blankly. Oh shit I went into Wikipedia mode again.

"How are you made?" Twilight asks, eagerly taking notes. Celestia and Luna look at me expectantly. Eh, couldn't hurt not like they have the technology anyway.

"The process of creating an AI is different to what most realize. Instead of simply programming a Smart AI such as me, the AI matrix is actually created by sending electric bursts through the neural pathways of a human brain which are then replicated in a superconducting nano-assemblage in a process known as cognitive impression modeling." At this point the only ponies not sleeping or snoring are the princesses.

"I went Wikipedia mode again didn't I?" I sigh.

"Yep." Celestia and Luna teleport away. Figures. "Thanks for all the information! Now I can create an AI."

I don't register what she says so I just say, "Yeah sure whatever." By the time I realize what happened Twilight is gone. "Wait, what? Oh no! Twilight! Don't you fucking do it!" I. chase after her trying to stop her.

I find her in the basement hooked to machines with her horn lit. "Why doesn't anyone ever listen to me?!"