Author's Notes:

This chapter is a crossover with nicranger's story Hichigo In Equestria

Point Of View: Church

Hmm, two objectives already complete. Now we must find Queen Aragog.

“Well now that that’s settled back to other matters! Ya know where we can find Queen Aragog your highness?”

"Why would you want to find her? I have a feeling you're probably going to attempt to cure her of her curse."

“Oh we’re not gonna attempt we’re gonna damn well do it! Ya see Church here has no physical form so to speak so her powers won’t affect him. And I don’t want to press my luck since I’m not really sure what would happen if I tried to counter her power with my spiritual pressure. Could end up destroying both our minds.”

"Please, go south of here and you shall find a hive covered in gold. Help my sister!"

“Woah calm down your highness! We’ll help her don’t you worry! Alright Church let's get going before we have an emotional moment on our hands. Well that and I’m starting to get a boner just by looking at her.”

"Oh?" Chrysalis winks at Hichigo.

"..." Lucky bastard…

“Chrysalis you keep doing shit like that and we won’t be leaving your room for the next week! And trust me I will make it happen, I have the stamina for it.”

"Maybe after you save my little sister, now go!"

Hichigo gave a perfect salute while grabbing myself and Discord before throwing us in the pelican.

“Get this bird in the air go, go, GO!”

Discord is suddenly wearing Unsc ODST combat armor and says in a feminine voice. "This is Echo 419 and I will be your transport today!" He/she gets in the pilot seat and we're off.

"Were you spying on Earth while you were stoned?"

“Maybe.”

Meanwhile Hichigo was tapping his foot impatiently. He was glaring outside the ship probably wishing we were there already.

"Holy shit I forgot how impatient you can be. Speed mach 40!"

We pass by where we were supposed to be... "Go back!"

Discord turns us around and nearly crashes the pelican.

"Who taught you to fly? Your mom?" Hichigo complains.

The pelican lurches to a stop in front of our destination.

This time though, there are no Changelings in sight.

Point of View: Hichigo

It was about time we got here! Chrysalis was practically announcing ‘fun time’ yet I had to do this first. Now all there was left to do was find the Queen of this hive and let Church do his thing.

“Alright Church let's get your ass in there so you can fix Chrysalis’ sister!”

"Yeah... Hichigo there is something terribly wrong with this place."

"You mean besides the fact that it looks like it was abandoned hundreds of years ago and condemned?"

"Yeah..."

“All the more reason to get in there!”

Church sighs and grabs a shotgun, two silenced smgs, and a few grenades.

"Why do you need to carry like 15 weapons?"

"Something fucked up is going on here."

I noticed the tone in his voice and turned serious. He was right. I could barely sense any life signs in the hive and that meant something was very wrong. Drawing Zangetsu I get ready for anything we may encounter in there.

Church looked at Discord who had already reverted back to normal. "Hey D, have you ever used a piece?"

"I might have once before but that was a while ago and not like this."

"Well now might be a good time for a refresher." Church hands Discord a battle rifle (Halo 4 Version) and turns toward the hive.

“Well it's now or never guys. Whatever we find in there best be ready for anything. Church mind beaming us down to the front door?”

Virgil comes from behind us and jumps straight down to the ground... 50 meters down...

"Or... we could just jump down..."

I rolled my eyes and grabbed both Church and Discord before jumping down to land right next to Virgil. Looking up at the huge doors I could see that they were locked down tight.

“Well guess there is only one thing to do in a time like this… break shit!”

"Wait. Are you getting a Fallen Kingdom vibe from this as well?" Church asks me.

“Yeah kind of. But we have to get in. I guess I could cut a hole for us but it’s much more fun to just break the damn thing down.”

"I don't want to announce our arrival yet if it's all the same to to you..." Discord says very seriously.

Sighing I walk up to the door with Zangetsu and make a few slashes. A few seconds pass before a rectangular section of the door falls forward for me to catch. I take the piece and chuck it behind me.

"Do you hear that noise? It's getting louder..."

“I don’t know what that is but if it turns out to be hostile it will wish it had stayed in its hole!”

"Is that...What the fuck! That's an air raid siren!" Church gets behind cover. Almost immediately after he does a beam of purple magic passes by him, nearly grazing his helmet.

I stare at where the beam came from and quickly used Sonido to appear at that spot slashing Zangetsu at whatever had attacked Church.

Boy am I surprised. The thing that attacked him isn't even a changeling. It's... some kind of demon or something.

It was a little shorter than the average pony and had deep purple skin. Demonic horns and wings aside it also had pure black eyes and a fang filled maw. It wore some kind of leather armor and had an assortment of animal, as well as some pony and changeling skulls on its belt.

I saw all of this before my blade bisected the demon in two, spilling its black blood everywhere but thankfully not on me.

‘What the hell was that’ asked Zangetsu.

‘I don’t know but it only confirms something went seriously wrong here and there are probably more of them inside.’

Church and Discord run towards me before kicking down the door next to the dead demon, revealing more of them.

Point of View: Church

What the fuck are those things? Actually don't tell me. I fire my shotgun at the nearest one and it explodes in a mist of black gore.

As Discord and I were shooting, Hichigo charged in and started to cut down anything in his path. The demons tried to claw at him only for them to rip up his white clothing which only served to piss him off.

I stared at them. Well, their funeral. Seriously, nobody rips Hichigo's clothes without dying a brutal death.

"You. Ripped. My. Shirt." Hichigo said calmly.

The demons stopped trying to kill him and almost shit themselves at his hateful glare.

Hichigo then lifted up his free hand and pointed a single finger at the nearest demon. A small ball of red and black energy formed at the tip of his finger and he said in almost a whisper, “Bala.”

As soon as he said that the small ball of energy turned into a condensed beam that shot straight through the demon and five more behind them before hitting the wall. The blast left a hole about the size of an orange making a clean hole through their bodies before the fell dead.
After that little display Hichigo himself looks surprised before a huge grin splits his face and he does a little whoop of joy.

“Alright I finally did Bala! One step closer to doing the Cero, Grand Rey Cero and finally Getsuga Tensho!”

"So... when you are super angry you unlock new abilities apparently?"

“I guess so. But now that just means I have some new targets to test my new power on.” At this he cast an evil smile at the still remaining demons.

"Huh, seems legit." I pulled up my hitman multi targeting and time slows as I aim my sniper rifle at 10 demons before firing and killing them all consecutively Freckles style.

“Good job man. Hey is Virgil still outside cause I got to ask him/her something.”

The aforementioned elite jumps from the ceiling while doing a backflip and killing the remaining demons with well placed headshots.

“Well perfect timing creepy! I need you to take the most still intact bodies back to the ship. I assume you have a scientist or something close? We need to know exactly what we’re dealing with here and if they’re a threat to anywhere else.”

"Already done."

Hichigo looks around and notices the bodies are already gone. He just stares at Virgil slackjawed.

I tap him on the shoulder, "Hey buddy, ya there?"

“Yeah I am. Just amazed. I like a girl who takes the initiative to plan that far ahead. Now if only she were in a women’s body.”

"You're going to have to earn that one, buster." She says slyly.

“Just tell me what I have to do and consider it done. I’ll even stop complaining about Tex being a major prude if that’s what it takes!”

"Dude, are you really trying to fuck my assistant?"

“Why haven’t you tried?”

Virgil and look at each other and then back to Hichigo before we facepalm at Hichigo.

“Something I’m missing here? Come on don’t leave a guy hanging!”

Virgil falls on her ass and starts giggling madly.

I just keep facepalming.

“Alright Church start explaining before a flip my lid. What am I missing here!?”

"Dude. Incest."

Hichigo blinked at that and facepalmed himself. Then he just starts glaring at me in obvious irritation.

“Well sorry for not being told that sooner! How the hell was I supposed to know!?”

I just sigh and our group along with Discord who's been strangely quiet arrive at a rusted door to a throne room.

“Mind if I knock?”

"Don't let your dreams be dreams."

"Did you really just quote Shia LaBeouf?" Discord asks in confusion. I shrug.

Hichigo just rolls his eyes and walks up to the door. We were all just expecting to break it down but he surprised all of us when he did exactly as he said and just let out three firm knocks before backing away.

"Answer the fucking door you dumbass! I didn't pay you to just capture the hive. Do your fucking job!"

After hearing that one of the demons opened the door only to be cut straight down the middle by Hichigo’s blade. He then kicked both halves into the room so they both land on either side of the large throne at the end of the room.

“Honey I’m HOME!”

The person on the throne was definitely not a changeling queen, but a much bigger version of the demons from before, standing at a ridiculous 14 feet tall. He also wielded a huge sword that was almost as tall as he was.

"..."

“Wow. Now that is one big fucker! I got this!”

Hichigo walked into the room with Zangetsu resting on his shoulder and a huge smile that promised pain.

"Kill him! It is the only way to rid me of the curse!" A tied up and tired queen says from next to the kidnapper. The demon king slaps her, leaving a black and blue bruise.

It was then that Hichigo’s smile dropped.

“Church.” His tone was cold and I could feel his power flowing through the room as even the giant demons legs began to shake in fear.

"Don't. Let. Your. Dreams. Be dreams! JUST DO IT! DON'T LET YOUR DREAMS BE DREAMS! YESTERDAY YOU SAID TOMORROW!"

Hichigo ignored him and charged the demon only to disappear and then reappear behind the behemoth. He lashed out with a kick that sent him flying towards Church and the others only for him to reappear again in front of them to deliver a chokeslam to the demon leaving a large crater in the floor due to the force.

"Copyright Headbanger 2015." I joke.

Hichigo then lifts up Zengetsu and glares down at the broken demon king.

“Any last words fuck face before I send you to hell?”

"Heil Hi-" He is interrupted by a cough.

"Don't even." Discord says angrily. "Just kill him already!"

Hichigo is about to bring down his blade but stops for a moment.

“You know what, you're not even worth killing with Zengetsu. But that doesn’t mean you get to live.”

Before Hichigo can react Virgil jumps over him and lets loose the entire magazine of a SAW from Halo 4 into the Demon King. "You were taking too long. I hate monologues." She says before spitting on the dead corpse coldly.

“You wouldn’t have complained if you had seen what I had wanted to do to him.”

"You still can. Just add insult to injury."

“Heh alright. Though it's not going to be as much fun now that he’s dead.”

Hichigo grabbed the demon king's body and lifted him above his head easily. He then ripped the demon king’s body in two. Throwing away the bottom half he then proceeds to rip the head of the king off and holds it up like some kind of trophy.

"He'd be dead either way..."

Before Hichigo can react, he finds himself the victim of a vigorous make-out session with a changeling queen.

If my jaw could drop it would as we all stared at Hichigo as he got over his surprise and began to return the changeling queen's affections.

Point of View: Hollow Ichigo

My god. I was in heaven as I continued to kiss the changeling monarch. Opening my eye a bit I look to see Church and Virgil staring in shock as Discord started taking pictures with a camera he made appear. He was probably thinking I was a lucky son of a bitch…. and he would be right!

"Well, that should be enough pictures. I used up 2,000,000 frames on that. How alluring." Discord chuckled.

Eventually we broke off as she was getting short of breath. I could of held out for another ten minutes though. Looking at Church I throw him a shit-eating grin. Yeah that’s right I got to make out with this while your stuck with Tex blocking you from any female contact. Winning!

My eyes shoot to pinpricks as I see Tex get ejected out of Church's armor and sent out of sight. He disappears.

“Uh what happened to Tex? And where the hell is Church!?”

"You may have caused Church to make a new fragment... Jealousy." Discord said fearfully.

“So? What of it? I’m jealous of the fact he has a bunch of awesome sci fi shit so what the hell is he gonna do?”

Virgil chokes out laughter suddenly. "Oh my god he already got a male human body and is... I think you know where this is going... with 10 mares..."

“....so the fuckers trying to one up me huh? Well I prefer quality over quantity anyway. He can go be a monwhore.”

"Did I mention they were supermodels?"

“.... do they have a great personality?”

"About half of them do."

“Well congrats to him. But what happened to Tex?”

"Oh shit." Discord curses before snapping a talon and disappearing from sight.

"She is possessing one of the mares..."

“Hahaha! Oh Church either you are about to be a lucky bastard or your in deep shit! I am so glad I am not you right now!”

"It's... actually the first one..."

“Hey Discord can you conjure up some alcohol? I want to make a toast to Church for his good fortune!” Six barrels of extremely rare and thousands of years old alcohol of all kinds appear.

“Thanks D! Now come on Virgil and your highness, lets get wasted and probably do something we will later regret!”

"You are a bad influence." Virgil says as she grabs a bottle of aged deluxe wine.

“Who ever accused me of being a good one to begin with?”

I responded while grabbing a bottle of the most alcoholic beverage there that came straight from Prance.

"You don't want the answer to that."

"Try me."

"Celestia in an attempt to get attention away from the 'Canterlot Incident' blamed it on nobles, saying you were a good pony and would never do that." I give a massive spit-take at that.

“Wow. That is something I would not expect from her of all ponies. So what do you think of me?”

"Before I answer that you realize she is a politician right? She doesn't want others to question her rule so she is hiding the fact that a potential enemy of the state is running around committing crimes."

“Good point but you still didn’t answer my question. If you think I am a complete ass just say so. You wouldn’t be the first.”

"Who was the first?"

“My mother.”

"..."

“Yeah she was a little out of it at the time.”

"I think you're... okay... I can't really say all that much since I haven't known you that long."

“Well thanks! I mean I’ve only known you and Church for a day or two and I have to say I enjoy being around you guys.”

Right after saying that a half naked church teleports in here covered in... everything and passes out.

“.... I ain’t touching him. As his family member you should have the honor of cleaning him.”

"Oh, are you not man enough as it were?" Aragog asks slyly.

I slowly turn to face her with my expression dead serious.

“You want to see how man enough I am? Or would you like a demonstration? Cause I’ll do it right here right now if you want.”

"I don't know. I'm feeling doubtful of your conviction."

Grabbing her waist I pull her to my chest so our faces are barely an inch apart.

“You should know that I am a man of my word and if I say I’m going to do something I am damn well gonna do it.” I growl out before slamming my lips to hers.

Aragog pulls away and pulls the final string, "Prove it then."

Turning towards a stunned Virgil and Discord I say, “leave. But Church stays here. I want him to see how a real man takes charge!”

Not another word was said as Discord snapped his claws and both of them disappeared.

"Shut up red! Nobody fucking asked you!" Church yells in his sleep.

Bringing my attention back to Aragog i smile and say, “now where were we?”

2 hours later.

"I fucking hate you Caboose!" Church screams, still sleeping.

I laughed at Church’s sleep talking as I was getting dressed. Aragog was unconscious still. Actually she had been for the past half hour and I had just noticed a few minutes ago. Gotta say I had an amazing time with her and couldn’t wait to do it again. Still I used one of the tapestries around the room as a makeshift blanket for her as she was covered in some unmentionable substances.

Walking up to Church I nudge him with my foot while looking at my torn clothing. Damn I needed some new threads.These ones were ruined.

“Church! Get your punk ass up and at'em! We still have to head back to Chrysalis to tell her the good news!”

"I never wanted it to be like this! It was the only way!" He screams, still sleeping. This causes me to pause.

“What the hell is he dreaming about? Well I guess there is only one way to wake him.”

With that I pulled out Zangetsu and poked him in the butt with the tip. Not enough to cause any real damage but enough to really hurt.

"Caboose! NO!" Church jumps up in the air, not noticing me at all.

“Church! Calm the hell down man it was just a dream! Caboose isn’t really here!”

"So he is dead then..." Church says quietly.

Alright now I was concerned. Walking up to him I ignore the fact he is covered in fluids and put a hand on his shoulder and give it a gentle squeeze.

“Dude I don’t know what happened to Caboose but it’s obvious it was something bad. If you need to talk about it I’m here for ya.”

"Nonononononononono." Church says at speeds that would make Pinkie Pie blink.

“Ooookay? Well come on we gotta get back to Chrysalis. Aragog is still out so don’t worry about her.”

In a flash Church is completely clean. In another he is completely armored. In one more flash he has all his weapons.

“Alright now that you're dressed I have to ask you…. how was Tex?”

"Uh... All I remember is white."

“Huh? Well since I know Tex is listening, you are not really a prude I guess. I apologize for saying so.”

In a flash we are in the pelican and with a bump the pelican arrives at Chrysalis' Hive. I notice Discord holding Aragog.

"Why did you bring her?"

"Her hive is likely dead already..." He says sadly.

“Are you sure they are all dead? Is she truly the last of her hive?”

I hoped I was wrong. It would probably be devastating for her if she truly was the last of her hive.

"There were no other lifeforms beside her left... I'm afraid it is so."

“Do we have any info on those demons?”

Those bastards were responsible for this. If there are anymore of them, there won’t be soon enough. I was gonna slaughter every last one of them!

"Apparently they started appearing a little over... You're not going to like this, 24 hours ago."

“Do you know where they originated? Or at least where they are hold up now? And If they attacked this hive then they may go after Chrysalis! We need to get back there NOW!”

Church opens the hatch, revealing an exhausted Chrysalis. Her eyes widened upon seeing Aragog.

"Aragog? Sister?" Good thing we cleaned her or else this would be awkward.

Aragog's eyes open and they are filled with tears. "They're gone. All of them. My children..."

I instantly pulled her into a hug while I looked at Chrysalis.

“Her hive was attacked by what looked like purple demons. She was the only one left. Have you seen anything near your hive?”

"No." Chrysalis shakes her head before her eyes lose their happiness completely and become cold. "Can you show me an image of one of these demons?" I shiver at her tone. I thought I was scary!

Church pulls up his Datapad and shows an image of the Demon King.

"Xerxes, the Demon King." She says in a tone that makes me flinch.

“Yeah we met him and killed him. Well technically Virgil killed him while I beat the living shit out of him.”

Her jaw nearly hit the ground at that. I guess this guy was a big deal to instill this kind of reaction from her.

“Y-y-you killed Xerxes? Do you know what this means!?”

“No but I have a feeling I’m about to find out.”

“He was one of the most powerful beings in Equis! Not even the Princesses themselves would dare challenge him and his army! You just effectively brought down an entire kingdom!”

Well damn. This is either really good or really bad. I’m betting it’s the former.

"I call dibs on his kingdom." Church says suddenly.

“Like hell you do! This was a team effort!”

"Fine! WE call dibs on the kingdom."

“Thank you.”

Right after I say that a letter appears in front of Church and starts talking, "Welcome the new rulers of the Demon Kingdom! This realm which is conveniently located in Nostralia is now yours to do as you please!"

Church laughs and asks, "Think Bitchcess Celestia will be mad?"

“Oh she will be pissed! I think we should get ourselves some crowns and pay her a visit just to rub it in.”

Point of View: Church

This is perfect. "Hey Virgil!"

"Yes?" She asks.

"Still got the trophy?"

"Yep." Hichigo, Chrysalis and Aragog's eyes widen and Hichigo smirks suddenly.

“Why you sneaky little minx! I was wondering where that went!”

"According to the news the princesses and the elements are all meeting right now. Let's do this shit while you two reunite!" I exclaim.

I waved goodbye to the sisters and we fly towards Canterlot.

“You know that as soon as we’re done there I am more likely than not going to take Chrysalis to pound town.”

"Nope. You are taking both of them."

“That’s only if Aragog is in the mood at that time. Though now that she’s had a taste I don’t think she’ll ever say no.”

"No shit."

We finally arrive and I tell Discord to hide. I open the hatch and see the princesses and the elements. I grab the trophy before Hichigo can react and throw it at Celestia's feet.

Her eyes widen in recognition. "Yeah! You know exactly what that is don't you! There are new Demon Kings now and you can't do shit about it without starting a world war! Suck on that!"

Point of View: Hichigo

“Dude! I want to keep that thing! It's like a damn badge of honor!”

Seriously why did he have to throw it at them? I was actually going to clean it up and turn it into a nice decoration for my wall…. yeah that is kind of disturbing but I don’t give a fuck!

"I am afraid that leaves me no choice then. You must be healed of your corruption by the Elements of Harmony!" Celestia exclaims.

"You mean these?" Virgil asks slyly as she pulls out a sack holding the aforementioned elements.

Oh the looks on their faces were priceless. They were shocked, afraid and outraged all at the same time!

“Give those back you freak,” yelled Dash as she flew at Virgil.

Discord appears and holds Dash in one hand. "Nuh-uh!"

Celestia's face starts to turn fearful.

“D I could have handled the Rainbow Wonder! But still thanks. She probably would have tried to bite me.”

Discord headbutts Rainbow Dash and throws her out the window.

“She’s gonna be okay right?”

"Probably? Most likely not though since those fools are just standing there."

Fluttershy turns to the stare, "You will not hurt my friends!"

Discord acts like he is being affected and then just laughs at her, making her whimper.

I appear behind Fluttershy stunning the other Elements and Princesses.

“Shy I commend you on sticking by your friend but supporting her stupidity and reckless actions will not help her. Now hold on a second while I stop said friend from going splat on the pavement.”

Again I disappear just long enough to catch Dash bridal style and reappear behind Shy once more.

“See! No true harm done!”

I see Church remove his helmet and teleport in front of Twilight and give her a Bugs Bunny kiss before teleporting next to me. He had an insane grin on his face that made me shudder.

“What are you planning you devious bastard?” All of a sudden we see Twilight adopt a dopey grin and start making out with her mentor and moving to remove her clothes.

Church is giggling madly at this point.

“Aphrodisiac?”

"Nope. Kiss of desire. Makes her face her desires. Found it in my spell book."

“Oh so we have a naughty student hot for teacher? Makes me wonder what the others truly desire if you catch my drift.” I say with a devious grin on my face.

Church is gone before I can blink and then back again and every female in the room except Virgil has a dopey grin. More than half of them are suddenly looking at us with rapey bedroom eyes, and not the good kind.

“Hey Church. What are the odds we make it out of this with our pelvis’s intact?”

"2.12%" Delta says helpfully.

“Is that both of us together or individually?”

"For both of you your chances are approximately 000.12%"

“Well in that case,”

I instantly hop into Virgil’s arms like Scooby Doo and yell, “SAVE ME VIRGIL!”

Discord grabs us all and teleports us into the pelican and we are already gone.

"I never said you wouldn't get out without them intact though." Delta says helpfully.
The entire pelican stops in mid air and a screeching noise could be heard. I turn and glare at Delta and he actually goes into the fetal position under my glare.

“Church. Stay here for a second I’m gonna see if he’s just fucking with us. I’ll go and see how rough their being right now and if it’s too much I’ll come back. But if not I’ll give you a call.”

And with a quick Sonido I was back at where we had just left. From what I was seeing the entire area had turned into one huge orgy. Even some guards and servants had gotten into the mix. All female thank god. Pulling out a holo projector that I managed to snatch before using Sonido I contact Church.

"How many did they kill so far?" He asks jokingly.

Instead of answering I direct the image towards the scene below. I let him look for a few seconds before turning it back towards me.

"I bet you are jealous of them, I know I am."

“Yeah but the difference is I’m about to join in. Fuck the consequences! You can either join in or watch cause I’m going in!

"Your funeral." Church giggles madly.

“That’s what rapid healing and enhanced durability are for! Geronimo!”

"He has a 87.39% chance of catching a fatal STD."

"I know Delta, that's why I didn't join him."

I stop about twenty feet above the action below me as a sense of foreboding envelopes my being.

“What the hell is this? It feels like if I go down there something bad is going to happen to me? I better call Church back.”

Calling back Church I continued to stare at what was happening below me and I wanted to just jump right in but I still couldn’t shake this feeling. Eventually Church picked up.

"Enjoying not getting an std that can kill you instantly?"

“You bastard you set me up! Why didn’t you tell me that before I almost went down there!? Are you trying to ruin my dick!?”

"You left before I could tell you."

“Whatever! Discord make a list of every female here and label them as a ‘no man’s land.’ Just so I don’t end up banging one of them in the future.”

Church is heard laughing his ass off in the background.

“Ah go fuck yourself Church! Why don’t you just go bang Tex again I’m sure she wouldn’t mind!”

"If only you knew." He says ominously.

Wait what?

“You fucking horndog. I salute you good sir on tapping that ass.”

"The sound of three facepalms are heard in the background." Discord narrates.

“Ah shut up all of ya! Don’t judge me!”

"You're a little late for that. But it is a positive judgement."

“How is it positive?”

"Oh, don't belittle yourself."

“No seriously I thought I got on your guy's nerves a lot. Especially Tex’s. I really don’t think that high of myself.”

"Eh. We know you are fucking around MOST of the time."

“Oh I feel so loved!”

"Eh. Get your ass in here. We are going to put you into stasis for a few days so we can kill Sombra faster."

“Eh alright. But can I please get a new shirt? This one is torn to shit.”

I feel myself get teleported into the ship and Discord throws a huge ass shirt at me. I take this as an insult.
Grabbing the nearest weapon, which just so happens to be a plasma pistol, I start shooting at Discords feet making him dance around.

“Get me a real shirt you ass before I tear you limb from limb!”

Before I can react. The shirt wraps around me and shrinks to fit to my size.

I look at it and see that it says 'One size fits all.'

“Oh haha very funny.”

"Ok. To sleep you go!" Before Church or Virgil can stop him, Discord unloads a magazine of tranquilizers into me from a M6J Carbine. I start feeling sleepy and the last thing I see or hear is the two arguing with Discord about 'Friendly Fire.'

Five Days Later...

My eyes open and I see myself in a Cryo chamber.

"Opening the casket." A crewman Lopez says.

Okay this feels too much like Halo One.

As soon as the casket is open all the way I lash out and grab the man's neck dragging him so that we are face to face.

“Where is Discord.” I growl out.

He hurriedly points to a cryo chamber next to mine, which houses an unconscious and clearly uncomfortable Chaos God.

After getting that info I throw the man away and stand in front of Discord’s pod before getting an evil idea. I spent the next minute gathering every sort of tranquilizer on the ship and loading them into every turret I could snag. Positioning them to all aim directly at the pod I start the process to wake Discord up.

It takes a few minutes but eventually he start regaining consciousness. He steps out of the pod stretching and giving a small yawn.

“I am so happy that’s over. It was so uncomfortable in there!”

Then he opens his eyes to see over forty turrets locked, loaded and all aimed straight at him. And behind them all holding the trigger was me with a manic smile on my face.

"Oh shit..."

“Paybacks a bitch!”

I then unload everything into the lord of Chaos for the next twenty minutes. By the time I was out of ammo no part of Discord could be seen. But I could see that he was severely twitching and foaming at the mouth.

Rubbing the back of my head sheepishly I mutter, “oops. Think I overdid it a little with the tranquilizers.”

"Ya think?" Church asks from behind me, making me jump into the turret and hit my nuts.

“OW! You bastard you made me hit my nuts!”

"Are you sure you don't just have PTSD or something?"

“Oh shut the fuck up! If not for the fact it would sound extremely gay I would tell you to suck my dick! So instead I’ll tell you to kiss my ass!”

"Uh dude.. ya kinda just did."

“Whatever! I’m still a little hungover from being forcefully put to sleep. Now where can a guy get some food around here?”

"First of all are you ready to kill a four-hooved Stalin?"

“Does a bear stuff a cork up his ass in winter?”

"Yes."

“Then you have your answer. Just one question.”

Church tilts his helmet slightly.

“I need a new pair of pants. These one’s are getting kind of worn out.”

"That isn't a question." Church replies before opening a portal to who knows where. A brand new pair of the exact same pants falls out.

“Thanks! Now are we at the Crystal Empire already cause I am ready to butcher a fucker!”

“We’ve been there the whole time. It just now appeared.” Church says matter-of-factly.

“And has fuck face appeared?”

“Yep. Can we just shoot him and not do a monologue so as to not give Celestia a chance to ‘reclaim’ the empire?”

“Aww! Can I at least beat him down a little? And also take his head!?”

“Yes, and by the way. Chrysalis’ entire hive is in this ship as well as Chrysalis and her sister Aragog.”

“Really! Where are they?”

“In the first war simulation room. Not the one where you fought the reds and blues. No that is the seventh one.”

“Alright now if you’ll excuse me I’m gonna just use Sonido and go have a chat with my two favorite monarchs!”

And I did just that and instantly vanished.

Point of View: Church

I teleport to the pilot’s seat and look out the window. I give it 15 more minutes and Hichigo appears with the two monarchs next to him.

“Well that was fun! Now on to business, where exactly is Sombra, the throne room I’m guessing?”

“Nope.” I say, looking through the scope of my sniper rifle. Hichigo and the two changelings follow my gaze. Sombra is standing on a platform holding the Crystal Heart and monologuing, looking ready to absorb it. “I’m going to have to take a shot already it seems.” I let loose ten rounds into his feet, causing him to get sent flying into a crystal house and nearly lose consciousness. I let loose another round into his horn, completely cracking it. “Go ahead Hichigo.”

“Yeah!”

He appeared next to the fallen form of the mad king and lifted him up with one hand. He then began to slap his face.

“Hey wake up asshole! It’s no fun if you aren’t awake for it!”

After the tenth hit or so he starts to wake up.

“Ugh wha? Who the Tartarus are you!?”

The Crystalians start to come out of their houses and see their tyrant getting the shit handed to him on a silver platter, and by that I mean he’s getting fucked up!-

“Oh I’m just the guy who’s going to kill you! Goodbye!”

Hichigo then tosses Sombra into the air and when he begins to fall Hichigo draws Zangetsu from his back. Waiting until he is just within reach Hichigo begins swinging so fast it becomes a blur. Time seemed to freeze as Sombra’s eyes widened in shock. Just like that time accelerated and Sombra’s entire body save for his head was reduced to bite size chunks.

Hichigo managed to grab the head just before it hit the ground. “Oh no can’t have this getting too dirty now. Makes it harder to clean out.”

“He saved us! He saved us!” The Crystalians start to chant. The crystal heart floats to its rightful place and the city’s shield reactivates, generating heat, love, and everything else.

“Wow now I feel all warm and tingly inside. Hey guys come on down and meet the locals!” The changelings, Virgil, and Church jump out of the pelican, startling everyone that originated from the Crystal Empire.

“They wanted us to save you from that dictator!” I point at the Changeling queens. They are mobbed by the crowd almost immediately after I say that.

“Well this looks promising.” says Hichigo while throwing an arm over my shoulders.

“It sure does buddy, it sure does.” I laugh.

“Now I think we should get ready for the Elements arrival. Plus we have yet to meet Shining and Cadence.”

Chrysalis and Aragog run towards and say, “We became empresses and they don’t mind our hive staying here!” They say excitedly.

“Good for you girls! But some Equestrians are more than likely on their way to try and take control.” said Hichigo.

“Not exactly…” I say suddenly, making Hichigo look at me in confusion.

“What do you mean by that?” Hichigo asks.

“I mean, not exactly likely that they will be let in. The citizens won’t want another tyrant.”

“Huh good point. Still I think we should head towards the gate to greet them and then send them on their way. Or if they still refuse we could put them in the dungeon as they are trespassing on foreign land.”

“Genius.”

Point of View: Hichigo

“This is boring! Where the hell are they!?”

We had been waiting at the main gate to the Crystal Empire for the last half hour and still there was not a single trace of them. Again patience was not one of my virtue’s.

Finally we see a sign of them. And they look really happy, probably thinking they are just going to get to come in and ask for control. Haha! No.

“Alright everybody here comes the assclowns now! Places!” Virgil, Church, and about seven hundred Lopez bots all get in place and aim their weapons straight at the party of Equestrians but are cloaked until I tell them to uncloak.

Eventually they reach the gate and are surprised to see me standing in the middle of the road leaning on Zangetsu.

“Ello everyone! Care to explain what you're doing here?”

“We came to claim our rightful empire that you so kindly handed to us on a silver platter.” Luna said coldly.

“I’m afraid that is where you are wrong.” I say before putting up a hand, the signal to uncloak.

Every single Lopez bot uncloak, as well as Church and Virgil.

“This empire already has two new rulers.”

“Who, you and Church?” Luna scoffs.

“Nope.” The Equestrians are taken aback by this.

“If not you then who?” demanded who I assumed was princess Cadence as this was my first time seeing her.

She was just as tall as Luna and had a two tone tail that matched her hair which was mainly le with shades of pink and yellow. Pinki wings and horn were present and she was wearing a bright pink dress with crystal heels.

Church takes this moment to butt in. “Look you lost this empire once already. We don’t care that you are a descendant of Princess Amore. We won’t allow you to lose this empire again, so that’s why we are preventing the possibility in the first place.” Cadence flinches at that as well as Celestia and Luna while Shining just looks confused and angry.

“How dare you speak to the Princesses like that.” demands Shinning.

He was a little shorter than Cadence but not by much. He had a dark blue tail and a white horn on his head. His attire was a purple version of the guards armor and strapped to his side is a standard longsword. Basically a toothpick compared to Zangetsu.

“Who am I? Well I am one of the new rulers of the Demon Kingdom! And you are a pissant who needs to shut up before I do it for you.”

Church suddenly has his armor turn to look exactly like the Meta and he grows 7 feet taller.

"You will not get in without dying."

“That or you want to spend some time in the dungeon. Either one works for me!”

"If you even move a foot further," Church waves his hand and a portal opens, blowing the Equestrians back a foot, "I will banish you to the dimension of insanity."

Well that seemed to get through to them. They instantly began to leave while casting us hateful glares. But I focused mainly on Luna. I had saved her and yet now she hates me which made me kind of sad.

Church orders all the Lopez bots to let loose warning shots. They all shoot at the Equestrians, grazing them on their clothing every single time. "Did we tell you you could walk away?!"

“What more do you want?” asked Twilight.

"You actually thought we would let you leave without you being handicapped first?"

“Virgil would you do the honors?”

The elite flashes the Equestrians a sadistic grin. "Sure." She grabs Church's spell book and focuses on the Equestrians.

In a flash they don't have any clothes on except panties and underwear. "Get out of our sights! And be glad we were merciful!"

I laughed my ass off as they booked it back to Equestria trying to cover themselves to save at least some of their dignity.

Looking at Virgil I smile and say, “if you were a girl right now I would kiss you no matter what happened afterwards!”

Virgil walks up to me and pimp slaps me. HARD.

“Damn! What a woman! You got one serious backhand!” I say as I rub my now red cheek.

"That was for the possibility that you were going to do it anyways."

“Good to know that if I ever kiss you out of the blue this is what will happen.”

"Actually... I was going easy on you."

“... so you're not totally against the idea or was that just a warning shot?”

"A little bit of both." Virgil winks.

I turn to Church. “Your sister is a fucking tease. I don’t know whether to hate it or love it.” He just shrugs.

“In all honesty though I would probably still take the risk.”

"I know."

“Glad we are on the same page. Now I think it's time for dinner! I wonder what we’re having?”

"You should live here. It's perfect for a base of operations. And you have two sisters who want you."

“Yeah I hear ya but I want to explore. I mean I would love to see your universe and some others if given the chance. I need action sometimes ya know?”

"Living here doesn't mean abandoning everything." Church laughs. "It means this is your base. You can still do what you want."

“Yeah true. Plus this would be a safe spot to park that ship huh?”

"Yep. One of the main reasons."

“So I never did ask but what’s the state of your universe right now? Are you still fighting or are you at peace at the moment?”

"Fighting."

“Anything troubling or serious?”

"You want to go there right now and see?"

“Why not!? We pretty much took care of everything save for Tirek and he’s not due to show up for another month.”

We gather everyone and get into the pelican. I insert Church's token into a slot for multiversal travel like he told me.

I was shaking with excitement at travelling to another universe. I was standing next to Virgil and she looked a little uncomfortable as I was a bit unstable at the moment. I couldn’t really blame her.

"You do the honors." Church says, pointing to a button.

“Well don’t mind if I do.” I immediately press the button. I don’t know what happened but as soon as I pressed that button everything goes black as I pass out.

I feel someone nudging me but I try to ignore it.

Whoever is trying to wake me continues to nudge me and eventually I get angry enough that I grab the appendage touching me and growl out.

“Unless this is a beautiful women leave me the hell alone.”

"He's fine. Must have a little memory loss after passing out." I hear Church say.

Hearing that my eyes snap open and I see that I am holding Virgil’s foot. Looking up at her I raise an eyebrow.

“Why the hell were you nudging me like I was a corpse?”

"Because you were clinically dead."

“What no wake up kiss? On second thought forget I said that because that would be weird. Also I am technically a Hollow which is a malevolent spirit that can feed on others souls to get stronger.”

"I don't think you get it. You died for about 2 minutes seeing as your heart stopped."

“And you thought it was okay to kick at my supposed corpse? Great to see you respect my body so much.” I say with a roll of my eyes before standing up to walk over to Church.

"What?" He asks.

“So where are we at the moment?”

"Yeah... um don't look out the window."

Ignoring Church’s warning I go to the nearest window and look out to see the endless void of space. I turn back to Church with a deadpanned expression basically saying, ‘the fuck is this?’

"We may be lost..."

Now at this point I was about to go off on him and everyone present before I feel a bunch of spirits heading our way. And they didn’t feel friendly.

“Church we’re about to have company. From the right there are a couple thousand lifeforms heading this way.”

Before I can stop him Church clicks the button that I pressed. Luckily I don't pass out this time.

I look out the window and the spirits are gone.

“Great where the hell are we now Church?”

Church fearfully points at a ship that looks scarily similar to the Didact's.

“So looks like we’re in for a fight. Hey Church can you hand me a helmet so I can still breath in space. I may not need a suit but I still need to breath.”

"Sorry but the helmet won't work without the armor."

“Will it chafe, and does it come in white?”

"Yes to both but it won't just chafe. It will fall off without the rest of the armor securing it on."

I sigh, ”Alright fine just suit me up and do it quick! And it better be in white!”

We run to the armor station and get me suited up in standard white CQB armor.

“Alright I admit this looks pretty sweet. Now where’s the airlock?”

Church points to a lifepod.

“Better than nothing.” I shrug and hop in without a second thought. As soon as it closes I give Church the thumbs up to say I was ready to go.

Church pulls the door back open forcefully and him and Virgil step in before forcing it closed. "Okay so this is what we know, we are going into unknown enemy territory. And we have no fucking clue what it's going to be like.”

“Yeah pretty much. Isn’t it exciting!”

"If you weren't japanese I would call you suicidal." Virgil states bluntly.

“Actually I’m american. Hichigo is actually japanese. Still I can’t help but be excited for is battle. I guess that’s the real Hichigo’s side coming through.”

Church just laughs. "Time to play a song perfect for this." I hear Survivor's Eye of The Tiger start playing.

“Oh this gonna be good.” I say as a manic grin splits my face and I can actually feel Zangetsu hum with power ready to kill.

"You beat Halo 4?"

“No but now I get to make up for that right here right now by killing these bastards.”

"Do you at least know what that ship is? Besides the fact that it is over 90 miles big?"

“All I care about right now is how quickly I can turn it into space scrap. Should I attack from the outside or inside?”

"You obviously don't realize the armor plating is over a mile thick." My jaw drops at that.

“Damn. Now I really wish I was able to use Getsuga Tensho, it would have made quick work of that thing.”

"Maybe on the covenant but not on a warship like this. This thing is over 30 times bigger than the ship I'm giving you. And is made of a material that is much stronger. You might just dent it if you are lucky."

“Huh looks like its inside we have to attack. So where do we get inside?"

"I don't see any entrances. Do you?"

“No but if we can just make a big enough hole I should be able to pry it open with my enhanced strength to get us entry.”

I see a thick window and look at Church. He nods.

As soon as we were a good distance away from the ship I eject myself. I use the pod as a springboard and propel myself to the window. Pointing my left hand with one finger out I shoot a concentrated Bala and see as it makes an orange sized hole in the window. As I reach the window I manage to fit both of my hands inside of the hole. I start to pull with all of my strength and after a few second I see the edges of the glass start to tear away from their holdings. With a final heave I rip the entire window out and fling it into space giving Virgil and Church plenty of space to get in.

They jump out of the pod and in through the makeshift entrance.

I follow in after them just before a hatch covers the hole.

“Well guys we’re in. So do we hit the bridge or the reactor.”

"Your choice." Church reminds me.

“Well if we can take the ship we have a major trump card and a bunch of new tech to use. It would also be a huge waste to just trash it.”

"It is also one of a kind." Virgil finally says.

“So we in agreement?”

"Yes."

“Alright you guys hit the hangar and if they have a barracks. I’m gonna have a little chat with the dear captain. Well after you tell me where it is. Can you hack a terminal or something Church?”