As Shadow continued to rub his eyes in disbelieve and disregard, he waited for the yelling. There should be lots of yelling, yelling at improbable volumes, yet it hadn't began.

'Maybe they started yelling already and it just made me deaf and I haven't realized it. No, no I'm not that lucky,' he thought as his wings left his face and saw the Princesses.

Their months weren't moving so they couldn't be yelling.

“Uh, thought the end of my life would have involved more screaming,” he quipped with dry humor and confusion, with a raise of his eyebrows briefly, in a volume only he thought only he would hear. That's when the yelling started, or at least tried.

Princess Luna took a deep breath to prepare her screaming at Canterlot voice level eleven as her fore hooves smashed into the tabletop causing a loud crack to shattered the silence. The thought terrified Shadow of what he imagined was a flank chewing that would make his DIs blush like Princess Cadence was at the moment.

Celestia saved the Sergeant for the time being when she simply raised her right wing to stop her sister only lowering it when Luna's hooves left the damaged tabletop.

“You will listen carefully Sergeant so not to be mistaken or be confused to what I say next, do you understand?” Princess Celestia spoke with the same tone and glare Walker's Mother had used when the two knew the upcoming outcome, which always ended poorly for the younger.

“MA'AM, YES MA'AM!”

“Seeing how you have such a gift for speaking your mind, if at anytime I, or the others beside me, think you are doing otherwise to save yourself it will, will end...quite unpleasantly for you. Do I make myself clear and do you understand that simple order Sergeant?” Princess Celestia informed Walker using the same tone but with a glare that seemed to be two miniature suns, with hints of amusement..., that couldn't be right he thought.

“MA'AM, CLEARER THEN STALLIONGRAD VODKA MA'AM!” Shadow cried out both from orders and personality, mostly the former. The latter just removed any hesitation, well that and never wanting to now what a threat from the Princess of the Sun could mean.

'I mean she sent her own sister to the moon for a thousand years, she'd do worse to me,' he told himself he a panicked rush.

“Why would you use that as an example?” Twilight asked lifting her head just enough so her words wouldn't be muffled, “are you an alcoholic?” She asked as Shadow thought about not pissing Celestia off.

“Ma'am, no Ma'am. According to the DoMH-II, I fail to meet enough requirements to be clinically diagnosed as such, simply because my drinking has never interfered with the performance of my duties, Ma'am!” Shadow snapped off with a clear prideful tone and forlorn smirk.

“IS THAT SUPPOSE TO MAKE US FEEL BETTER?!” Twilight screamed out in a mix of confusion and shock as her head popped up as her fore hooves hit the tabletop forgetting for a moment her embarrassment.

“Ma'am, ah..., yes Ma'am...?” Shadow replied with confusion, assurance, and asking tones as his eyes looked to the upper left corner with a small half squint. “Doesn't it show I'm able to control any urge I may have to drink and interfere with my duties.”

With that Twilight's head snapped to looked at Celestia for some kind of explanation to what she had just heard, but before anyone else could speak Shadow did.

“I think I've shown I can interfere with my duties well enough sober,” he spouted out with a half hearten shrug of his wings and half closure of his eyes. Twilight's head snapped around to look at Shadow with her mouth a gasp.

“You keep that up and you're going to hurt something..., maybe? I don't know?” Shadow started to tell Twilight before his tone turned into questioning. “Can alicorns pull muscles or something along those lines?” he ask aloud with a small tilt of his head to his side.

“Um, How can you so easily speak like that? Are you not worried about how it's going to influence this, ah meeting?” Cadence finally asked doing her best to at least look in the general direction of Shadow with her face still blushing.

Shadow started with a simply upturn of his wings and shrug as he closed eyes eyes briefly and gave half grin of confusion and uncertainty.

“Uh, at this point I know I'm basically bon..., buc..., scre..., fuc.., ah, damned no matter how I act,” Shadow started trying to find a word that didn't have a possible sexual meaning with worry but confidence.

“So way I'm looking at it, might as well make the most of it. If I'm going down in a metaphorical ball of flame, maybe even literally, I'm going to make sure it's the biggest ball of flame I can make,” he added with a casually tone with a small shrug of his shoulders this time, making sure he wasn't looking at Cadence from his own embarrassment.

“If for nothing else this event will became legend throughout all the Guards. So in a way I guess I'm ensuring my place in history...” He started to explain his reasoning to the Princesses, no matter way bad it sounded.

“I mean come on! I told all four of you I was going to make you my bi...,” quickly stopping himself but not trying to cover up what he was going to say, “in front of a large group and enjoy it. How embarras...,” Shadow started to add with glee, excitement, and confidence to all four rulers of Equestria only to cutoff himself off as his voice trailed off.

“Prretty sure I can still somehow make my upcoming punishment worse, don't need to call y'all names,” was added with a weak nervous smile and chuckle.

“Ah..., I'm going to go head and stop that train of thought... I think y'all get the point,” he tacked on with awkwardness and weak chuckle as he ran one of his wing tips through his mane.

“Yes, we get the point Sergeant, however it will not help thou. Thou art still in grave trouble.” Luna spoke up keeping her voice neutral and to Shadow it was, Princess Celestia knew otherwise. She knew her sister was doing her up most to keep herself composed and not act rashly and possibly physically or magically.

“Yeah, I know.” Shadow returned starting with a sigh and with a defeated tone as he lowered his head to look at the marble floor.

“Looking over your service jacket summary sheet you have a impressive record. Twelve years of service, seemingly all within the Pegasus Heavy Assault forces. You are well qualified for your position, actually overly so from what I see. The only questionable part being your clearance but oddly, you have no reduction of rank to reflect your over qualification or clearance?” Celestia interjected getting the topic back on track as she lightly touched a hoof to his service jacket in front of her with a cool informative voice.

“Indeed Sergeant, how does thou explain this?” Luna asked looking over the page not completely knowing what it meant but she wasn't going to let a lowly Sergeant know that.

“Uhmm, guessing you haven't looked past the summary sheet?” Shadow offered with discomfort as he kicked at an imaginary rock near his hoof.

“Guessing I wasn't thinking that long about ya'lls flan,” was what followed before snapping his mouth shut trying not to bite his tongue.

“SHUTTING UP NOW!” He screamed out trying to avoid causing more problems for himself as Cadence's flush brightened again as she bite her lower lip and Twilight groaned.

All four Princesses narrowed their eyes at the Sergeant for several seconds before they turned their attention to the service jacket in front of Celestia or tried. Twilight was left out as she was seating two seats to the left of Celestia.

As the three Princesses looked through the service jacket they began to see an explanation emerge for the apparent discrepancies.

“Oh my,” Cadence slipped as she got a peak of the complaints and NJPs leveled against Sergeant Shadow.

“With just a glance it becomes apparent thou are not worthy to belong in the Solar Guard or any Guard,” Luna stated with clear annoyance and angry.

“Indeed, how are you still in the Guard with this many disciplinary actions?” Celestia inquired as she let the pages fall until the summary page was the only visible page and looked at Shadow with a disapproving tone and look.

“Because the prosecution failed to meet or exceed the minimal requirements needed to bring about awards,” Shadow offered with a helpful, desperate, and clumsy voice with a smile to much as he held his wings up to show he wasn't sure of his answer.

“So, it seems thou does have a history of problems with authority Sergeant,” Luna told Shadow as she moved her eyes to look at Shadow, “and this is simply the latest incidence in a long line.”

“No, I have a problem with the stupidity of ponies that make more bits then me, huge difference.” Walker snapped off with anger, disdain, and resentment that clearly showed in his face and posture.

“They all couldn't handle being told they were wrong, or there was a better way, or possible dangers, or were called out for throwing their weight around, or whatever. As shown by the letter of the UCGJ, I violated no articles of it and couldn't be awarded anything. I was right and my accusers were wrong. That's what matters.” Shadow told the Princesses with his eyes and tone full of vindication and validation finishing his little rant with a single crisp slash of one of his right wing and stomp of his right fore hoof.

“If you can't handle that, you're no better then the nobles that brought me up on charges,” was quickly added as he pointed accusingly at the four Princesses in general but directly at Princess Luna.

“If you can't handle that, piss off,” Shadow added in conclusion with spite and angry clear in his voice and on his face as he gave a small twist of his wing tip before resting his wing against his barrel.

“So let's all stop dicking around and get down to the reason I'm here, supposed violation of Articles 88, 90, 92, 94, 98, 117, and of course the catch all, 134 of the UCGJ. Or are all the ruling Princesses of Equestria above their own laws?” Shadow told the four alicorns in front of him making sure during his little rant that he made eye contact and held it with all four with a tone and posture that screamed confidence, authority, and experience.

“You four broke the regulations of teleporting into the Chow Hall and as a Sergeant I acted appropriately, so I've got a damn good chance according to the letter of the UCGJ to beat the charges brought before me by you four,” Shadow added with a tone that book no room for argument and pure confidence as he stood as tall and imposing as he physically could, now staring at the Princesses waiting for their response.

“Your move, your highness's,” Shadow concluded with a superior and mildly mocking voice not giving a buck what happened next to him, he'd spoke his mind and acted how he thought best, knowing or at least hoping his words would be back up by the courts.

The four alicorn princesses were left stunned for their own personnel reasons, that Shadow simply didn't give a buck about anymore.

Author's Notes:

Boom! New chapter and I'm still semi coherent. Also this chapter has been brought to you by Miracle of Sound and the vineyards of Sicily.

I tried keeping the comedy going while adding some more seriousness to what I've planned. Let me know if I've got any errors in what I posted.

Thanks again for taking the time out of your day to give my story some time. See you next time and Bon Grazie!