The fifteen or so minutes Shadow Walker followed behind the Princesses were the most terrifying minutes of his life but in a perverse way most satisfying. There was probably a reason the Guard moved at the front or sides of the Princesses and didn't follow.

As hard as he tried he couldn't completely wipe the smirk off his face. At this point he reasoned he probably couldn't get into much more trouble, so might as well get something out of it regardless how it looked, which he guessed was Grade A flank, and thanking Harmony.

Also he was praying to Harmony the Princesses forget about him and what had happened.

“Wait here Sargent Walker. Sargent Steel Bolt, go to the Guard's Administration and pull Sargent Shadow's service jacket and bring it back,” Princess Celestia coolly spoke as the group came to a halt outside a nondescript door and instructed the Guard standing outside of it.

“Yes Princess,” Steel Bolt replied with a crisp salute and voice before glancing at Shadow and turning to carry out his orders.

'Well, so much for being forgotten,' Walker thought to himself as Princess Celestia opened the door to let the group into the room. As Princess Twilight entered the room she gave another look at him with a face that matched from earlier.

After Princess Cadence walked through the door Walker figured he shouldn't be looking so carefree about the situation before popping back to attention looking grim and didn't see the faces of the two sisters to try and gauge just how bucked he was at the moment.

After the door gave a soft clank of wood hitting together the Sargent remained at attention for a minute to make sure one of the Princesses didn't pop her head out to catch him slacking, but after that he moved to parade rest.

As was his habit his mind went blank and tuned the outside word out, he guessed he stayed that way for ten minutes before the Sargent Princess Celestia sent off to get his service record returned.

The knock on the door is what actually brought him back followed by the muffled command to enter.

After a minute Sargent Walker realized this was the part where he should be at attention waiting to be called in before the Princesses.

'Might as well add this to the bucket and mark it off, disciplined by all four Princesses..., at once. Don't think I'll ever top this one and Commander Mystic Breeze said I'd never do anything memorable, well you's laughing now... Well guess she is, damn, I lost my own memorable moment.” Walker thought to himself with a imaginary tone that was flippant and carefree, not reflective of how it should be, pure distilled terror and hopelessness he realized.

A groan escaped his lips as he shifted his wings and relaxed his knees in response to his own thinking and stop from passing out. That wouldn't make anything any better, may make it worse and definitely only prolong the inevitable.

For the next five minutes he went through his routine of panic and fear, which was normal at this point when he remembered he was about to report to all four Princesses of Equestria, not a Company Commander.

“Holy Harmony, this is worse then waiting for Mom to get home to whip my flank! I'm waiting to get it whipped by the Princesses, all four of them! They're like the Moms of all Equestria!” He yelled in panicked tones inside his skull.

'Yeah, but it would be kinda sexy and kinky and you'd totally bang three out of four of'em.” A second part of him threw out in a cool collected manner.

'Yeah, it would totally would be, and yes. Yes I would...” He replied automatically with a duh, agreeing tone and matching smile before his last thought dawned on him.

'Why am I thinking this! That's not helping! That's the exact opposite of helping! That's not helping me...! Me?!'

'Yeah it is. Think about it, you're now thinking about happy sexy times with three quarters of the rulers of Equestria instead of depressing unsexy times with four quarters of them. It makes prefect since if you use golf math,' was the educated toned reply that only brought on a wave of confusion.

'I so bucking hate myself right now.'

'Yeah, we totally blame that plothole Shadow Walker too.'

'Buck off other Shadow Walker.'

'Maybe later, while thinking about those sweet, sweet flanks we were staring at earlier. I think Twilght's was the best, wouldn't you agree?' Was other Shadow Walker's inquisitive sophisticated tone implying it was the correct choice.

'WHAT?! NO! Luna's totally was the best moron...,' was the outraged and offended cry that demanded to be accepted as the one true answer and with that the Great Flank Debate began.

Sargent Shadow Walker didn't know how long he had been debating Other Shadow Walker before the voice of Sargent Steel Bolt brought him partially back to the real word, reacting to training.

“Enter and report, Sargent Shadow Walker,” was the order leaving no room for question. Shadow took a deep breath and gave a forlorn nod before speaking.

“Roger that Sargent.”

Shadow walked through the door being held open for him as he marched in with crisp measured steps.

As he marched to stand before the four Princesses he saw their faces.

The two sisters faces he couldn't get a read on in any measure, 'Harmony damn their experience.'

The newest Princess' face betrayed her. Her best attempts to be like her teacher and mentor failed and Shadow could see the nervousness, fear and shock on her face. 'I give it a C+,' flashed through his mind.

'She'd freak the buck out if you told her that,' Other Shadow Walker quipped and no reply came as the face of Princess Cadence was seen.

She was doing a better attempt to look like the ruler sisters but still failed. Her face mirrored the sisters in its blank expression of emotion, it was her coloring and eyes that broke the facade.

The areas below her eyes and her checks were a deep passionate red and her eyes screamed with embarrassment.

'Wonder what her problem is?' Shadow thought to himself in confusion before other Shadow butted in.

'She can sense emotions plothole,' was the flat humored reply that smashed into Shadow Walker's reality as he realized he'd been debating himself on which Princess had the best flank like fifty feet from the Princess of Love.

'It is possible to make this worse...,' he realized as he stopped in front of the table the four rulers of Equestria sat behind waiting to judge. However before he could continue his that train of thought training took over.

“Sargent Shadow Walker reporting as ordered Ma'am!” He shouted out after stopping in the position of attention and then saluting the four. He remained saluting until ordered to drop his salute.

“Recover,” was the single clear crisp demanding word from Celestia's lips which had its immediate effort. Walker's hoof left the corner of his right eye and with a single clop hit the marble floor.

For a long pregnant pause of a minute no sound could be heard in the room save that of breathing before Princess Luna spoke.

“Tell us Sargent, what thou were thinking?” She asked with a neutral voice that to Shadow Walker was as cold and hostile as the moon the Princess had been banished to.

Depending on who is asked on why the Sargent responded the way he did is still of great debate. Some say it was as simply as him mishearing due to the stresses he was facing at the moment. Others say it was simply disregard for centuries of tradition and contempt for the thrones. Another group says the Sargent know he was doomed and simply spoke the truth in fear.

No one says it was because he misheard because he realized the Princess Cadence had a rough idea that the Sargent was having lustful thoughts.

“I'm thinking which one of you has the best flank. It's either Twilight or Luna,” was the voice of an experience seasoned soldier that spoke only of cold hard facts that was full of pride, confidence, and honor as a result of twelve years of service.

Horror was the general reply.

Twilight's eyes seemed to be the size of the Moon in horror, shock, an embarrassment before she covered them with her forelegs before they all hit the table.

Cadence's jaw dropped in shear disbelieve as her wings flared in surprise and... questionable reasons to Walker.

The Princesses of the Sun and Moon hide their response better through facial expression but even they couldn't stop their eyes.

Princess Celestia's showed amusement, glee, and of course surprise for the briefest of seconds before disappearing.

Princess Luna was having difficultly deciding what to feel. The majority of her felt offended, anger, and disbelieve that wished to inflict pain to the extent the law allowed, maybe beyond. A smaller part of her felt embarrassed, smug, approving, and ecstatic at having beat her sister at something. Even if it was as crude and simply as beating her sister in a better flank contest of a single Sargent.

As for Sargent Shadow Walker he caught the expression of each and every Princess as it slowly dawned on him what he yelled out and the tone he had done so. After that he broke tradition without a care in the world, he now knew without a doubt it couldn't get worse.

With movements of defeat and agony his wings moved to cover his face with feather to massage his eyes as his groan of despair and disbelieve past his lips with no resistance before speaking.

“Fuck.”

Author's Notes:

This chapter has been brought to you by a team of Clydesdale horses' cargo and the Metalocalypse.

Next, FYI I"m a Swabbie so I probably got the fancy Army commands wrong, but meh. I haven't really paid too much attention to my own banch's brainwas..., I mean indoctr..., i mean training..., yes training.

Also, wow. I'm surprised the attention this story has gotten so far, to me it's shocking. I know in the grand scheme it's not much, but again wow.

I thank you for taking the time out of your day and giving my story that time. Bon grazie from my little drunken sailor heart.

P.S. I know that's improper Italian, I just like saying it.