Aboard the Black Comet

A large crowd of the Black Arms stood in front of a large stage-like structure in the large comet that mainly consisted of dark purple rocks in the walls, a few walls and doors made of dark metal with lines of energy running through them and large patches of some kind of pulsing red and black substance.

They all watched as Black Doom took to the stage with Dooms Eye floating beside him, it's eye closed as his consciousness was currently in his main body. He turned to the crowd and waved his hands over them to silence their chatter so he could begin.

"My fellow Black Arms, the day of reckoning will soon be here, our special operative has five of the chaos emeralds in hand and the last two are in our possession! We will finally-"

"Um, my Lord, if I may I terupt you for just a moment." One of the aliens in the third row called out with his arm raised.

"What is it soldier? I was in the middle of my grand villainous speech."

"'Grand' my ass..." One other alien mumbled before getting nudged by another.

"Well, it's just that lately you've been acting very very strangely." The soldier continued, resulting in various nods from the crowd.

"Yes, the stress of war can have an effect on-"

"Wait what?! What happened to your total confidence of victory that you were clearly showing even though we're getting our asses handed to us?!" An alien in the back called out.

"Well I-"

"Sir, with all do respect I don't think you have an excuse for your actions other than sheer stupidity." The first soldier continued.

"H-How dare you-"

"Sir you keep acting as if Shadow is on our side when he clearly is not, we have had to perform the resurrection ritual on Dooms Eye six times this week! SIX TIMES!!! Shadow, Pinkie Pie and all of those other pastel coloured things have launched you into orbit, shoot you into one of our own airships causing it to explode, punted you straight out of several buildings and zones, at one point managed to get the Chao to believe you were a hat which was pretty adorable, used whatever weapon they had on hand to blast you, flushed you down several toilets, somehow managed to open a rift in space and time to allow some weird cat-like a line and his robot backpack to blast you continuously with hundreds of weapons who I swear had a purple pony with them at one point when Pinkie wasn't there, stabbed you on several occasions with wooden sticks and have made it abundantly clear that they have no intention of even considering coming to our side." The alien continued to point out, causing all of the soldiers present to just stare at Black Doom with pity, disapproval, shame and anger. "So, sir, what BRILLIANT idea do you have to turn Shadow to our side even after all of that? Even if we took Pinkie from him he'd just go into a rage and wipe us out completely."

Everyone just looked at him expectantly. Somehow no one had noticed Shard, Pinkie and Sally sitting on garden chairs with a bucket of popcorn and fizzy drinks watching the whole event unfold. "So when do you think they'll realise that Shadow has just stollen one of their two emeralds?" Shard asked as he stuffed his face with buttery popcorn, his systems turning the food into backup energy for if his crystal were ever to be damaged again.

"Give them a minute." Pinkie replied.

"More like give them a week, seriously how can these guys even be taken seriously by any race they come across?" Sally added while taking a sip of her Diet Coke.

"To be fair they've never encountered a planet with a Pinkie Pie before." Shard answered.

Pinkie stopped eating and went wide eyed. "Wait what did they say Ratchet had with him?"

"You learned his name?" Sally asked with a raised brow.

"Sure I did! We blew stuff up together with Nanny Omega, why wouldn't I learn their names? Also, they're video game characters in this universe. Oh right daddy and I have been meaning to go see the new movie!"

Moving back to the Black Arms, Black Doom just stood (floated? I don't know) there with a blank expression, not expecting to be called out by a mere soldier.

"You all dare question my tactics?"

"Oh those aren't tactics, you just can't accept the fact that our entire operation depends on Shadow." An alien in the front row stated.

"Can we take a moment to question his methods more? Like how to even get through one of our doors YOU HAVE TO KILL THE SOLDIERS GUARDING IT!!!" Another called out.

"Oh yeah! Hey, remember Alex? That soldier you had guard the emerald in Westopolis that was locked in a cage that could only be opened after you killed him? He had a family you know, met this nice maid drone awhile back, ended up having triplet spawn. Well guess what happened to him after you ordered him to protect that emerald that should have been brought straight to the comet!" A large alike enforcer called out.

Suddenly a Black Bull floated down. "Hey, remember me? The one Black Bull that you sent to fight Pinkie alone? I have no arms or legs man! All I have are my wings and these little stumps! How was I supposed to fight Shadow?!"

Black Doom didn't have time to answer as one of the aliens looked to a screen. "Oh, look at that! The mutant worms have started a revolution and have joined the humans! Was that part of your brilliant plan too?!"

"THEY WHAT?!?"

"Sign up with Black Doom instead of Black Death they said! He's got a better plan they said!"

"And we can't even sic Eclipse on them because he'd most likely be befriended by Pinkie Pie!"

"You know what?! Screw this, I'm out!" One of the aliens threw down his blaster and made his way towards the door, followed by every other alien present.

Black Doom just watched them all go, speechless after what had just happened. Only now was he realising how badly he was screwing up their plan.

When the room was empty, Pinkie, Shard and Sally walked up to the stage, Doom just slowly turning to look at them. "So, now may not be the best time to say that we've stolen one of your emeralds and are now going to make a run for it." Pinkie said nervously.

Doom just glared at the group, his hands clenching into fists.

"And we'll take that as our que to leave. Later Doomy." Pinkie said as she bounced off towards the Dior with her friends in tow. As they left Shard poked his head back into the room.

"By the way, you sound like a ripoff of Doctor Claw, just saying. Later moron." With that, he was gone.

Doom just roared in anger and slammed his first into one of the nearby walls, causing it's outer shell to completely shatter. "That's it! This ends now!"

Author's Notes:

I had way too much fun writing this chapter.