Shadow sat with his arms folded and his legs crossed, staring at the G.U.N. official that had called him in for a private meeting to discuss an important mission that he would be assigned to. "You will be by the President on one of our carriers acting as a bodyguard as we get him and many other civilians to a safe zone away from Central City and Station Square. Think you can handle that?" The man behind the desk asked.

"Well, I already have a mission that I need to get back to, I don't have time to play babysitter with the President. So, no, I'm not taking this mission." Shadow answered in a matter of fact tone as he moved to get out of his seat. "Now, if there's anything else you want to discuss with me please do so now because I'm going straight back to my current mission."

"Actually there is something else that my commanding officers have wanted me to mention." The man rubbed the back of his head nervously.

"Alright, continue." Shadow said quietly as he sat back down.

"Thank you." Taking a breath the man took out a few files. "From what we can tell, someone has been snooping around private and protected files in the G.U.N. mainframe. While we know it is one of our employees due to the access keys used, we have yet to hear of any leaked information, suggesting that it is merely for research purposes...but what alarmed us were the files they were looking through."

"And what exactly does G.U.N. have to hide that's so important?"

"Too much to tell Shadow, too much to tell..." Shaking his head, the man held out one of the top secret files to the hedgehog who took it and looked over the paper before his fell on a name.

"Maria Robotnik? Why would someone be going through her files?" Shadow asked, resisting the urge to open the file to see w hat was inside.

"We don't know, all we do know is that all the files opened are related to the ultimate Lifeform project." Taking the file back before Shadow could have a meltdown, the man cleared his throat and straightened himself. "I'm your own time, we want you to find out who is doing this and what they plan to do with this information."

Shadow immediately responded. "Gladly." With that said Shadow got out of his seat and began walking towards the door.

"Wait! I still need the mission filled by one of our high ranking agents!"

Shadow stopped in the doorway and smirked. "Well, I may not be able to do it...but I know where we can get some very eager volunteers."

2 days later, aboard the airship carrying the president

As the Black Arms had invaded the ship and began hunting the crew and all passengers, many were running for their lives as the two beings that every other trooper they had come across had warned them about were fast approaching. Been the G.U.N. soldiers had taken cover away from the carnage.

"Ahahahahahaha! Run! Run I'm coming for you!" Omega yelled as he ran forwards while wildly shooting his twin miniguns with Pinkoe on his shoulder blasting other aliens with her party bazooka, laughing while she did. The scene was like one of Michael Bay's wet dreams as explosion after explosion shook the ship. "Cry some more!" Omega yelled as he decked an alien trooper in the face with his gun and stepped on its head.

"Let me bring some fun into your life!" Pinkie exclaimed as she fired a party rocket at a crowd of fleeing aliens.

Two soldiers just watched the carnage from a balcony on one of the walls while relaxing on sun beds with drinks in their hands. "So, who do you think will blast slash befriend slash poke more aliens to death, Pinkie or Omega?" One asked.

"To be honest I don't think we can bet in this one, those two are causing the exact same amount of damage right now." The other answered while taking a sip of his drink. "But if you really want to. I'll go with Pinkie."

"You always get Pinkie..." The first soldier groaned.

"Hey slackers! Get back to work!" Omega yelled as he fired a rocket close to the soldiers causing them to leap out of their chairs begore grabbing their weapons and running to wherever they were needed. "Freakin armatures."

After blasting their way through the infested ship they came across a blue electrified grind rail that was blocked by a laser grid. Suddenly Dooms Eye appeared again. "No beings of flesh and blood my pass here-"

"Seriously dude! Get the message already!" Pinkie exclaimed as she grabbed Dooms Eye and slammed it into the ground. "Nanna, you know what to do!"

Omega rubbed his hands in delight as he grabbed a stick that had somehow found its way on board and levered it above the mutant starfish. "I'll love moments like this."

After a good few minutes of furious poking (cough!) Dooms Eye was nothing but a pile of dark,purple meat with various stab wounds. Pinkie puts slowly nodded her head approvingly. "If he still comes back to us after this I'm scheduling him an appointment with a therapist."

"Did you catch what he said? Something about flesh and blood not being able to grind here?" Omega asked as he grabbed the mutilated, walked out the large opening to the outside of the airship and tossed it into one of the turbines.

"Hey, you aren't flesh and blood, why don't you grind over?" Pinkie suggested as she hoped off of his shoulder and began examining the rail. "If you do, I can use my homing attack to follow you as long as you keep,a good enough speed so that I don't catch up since I won't be able to ride you over there, with you being metal and all."

"Eh, worth a shot, although I'm going to have very strong words for the genius that decided to put this in one of our ships."

Pinkie sat in the corner of the living room rocking herself back and forth with Omega I'm the same condition, having learned why that area was so well sealed off in the first place.

Rouge just watched them questioningly as Shadow added the fifth chaos emerald they had recovered to his collection. "What did they find in there anyway?"

"The crews hentai collection..." Shadow answered dryly.

Rouge didn't know whether to be laughing her ass off, cringing or be completely disgusted at the crew members of that ship. "Just how much did they see?"

"Everything..." The two in the corner said together as they rocked themselves.

"Well Shadow, looks like it's time to give Pinkie the talk."

"Oh boy, this should be fun..."

Author's Notes:

I'm not sorry