Author's Notes:

I changed some words in chapter one. I said Equestia twice in pre-Equestria times. It isn't anything major. I just changed Equestria to Unicornia.

Missing dialogue after I felt a presense near me

"You're new... I wonder how long you'll be here until you go insane?" Fuck you too! Douche. "Tch tch tch, don't be rude, I'm the one who can stop you from becoming insane," Cool. Slow-mo voice "Have at thee!"

It's been ten years since I turned to stone... I saw the blue alicorn get turned into a black one by a black mist. It looked evil. The white one came and wept at my statue for 10 hours before a white unicorn with an 'x' buttstamp came to get her. They talked in what seems like slow motion before they leave. I think I just saw a hummingbird fly by at the speed of a snail. I saw the unicorn glance back at me with a look of contempt in his eyes. He must of been one of the ones who executed me. I'm sorry I didn't stay dead. I couldn't help it. I respawn. I felt a presence near me.

"You're new... I wonder how long you'll be here until you go insane?" Fuck you too! Douche. "Tch tch tch, don't be rude, I'm the one who can stop you from becoming insane," Cool. Slow-mo voice "Have at thee!"

We were teleported into an urban area where we play fought with Nerf-esque guns. He seemed ten times as slow as he should have been.

After 30 years the landscape changed because Discord, as he told me he was called, was upset because I was faster in thinking and acting than him. I didn't see how. He just seemed slow.

After sixty more years i felt resigned to my fate. Discord stopped hanging out twenty years beforehand. I was so bored. I guess I'll just mess around with the menus and see if I can do something else.

I can't remember how many years I was in the statue anymore. I bet you guys can figure out how many years I've been in here. You guys are amazing! The author wants to thank you as well but he doesn't want you to get annoyed by sending you all a notification, all of the people that commented.

I learned how to open my inventory without my backpack. I tried to move while in it but then I felt stupid because I was immobile in my statue. Even if I could move with an open inventory like that I couldn't now.

He can't, I'm the mystic future teller. In the end of the story our protagonist gets into an orgy with all of the females of Equus!

*Swat, swat* Quiet you, we need more dialog of the original!

Strange, I feel like something important is supposed to happen. Meh, I guess not.

I learned that there was a team button on the map screen that I didn't know about. Meh... I don't care. This is relaxing. I'll probably stay in here for (6990!) years. It'll be less interesting after (6990!) years. I feel like I wasn't clear to the cosmos in my answers so I'll say it again; (6990!) years, DAMN IT!

I learned how to make mindscapes. I puzzle out riddles in my spare time. I feel... smarter... Nah! I'm still of normal intellect. The author couldn't make me that OP. I can become healthier with pink crystals for fuck's sakes!

Just (4990!) years until I check out the team screen. Why do I feel like I'm not heard. Back to the mindscape of a city infested by a disease called Blacklight.

This is Insane Terry speaking, I would like to say... H̶͍͍͕̪ͤ̂ͨ̉͋ͦ̋̅̂ͦ̑̕a̶̶̧̻̙͍̯̹̟̣̗͍̙ͭͭ̏͑ͧ̎̀͌ͯ̇́ͅs̢̢̛̝̥̖̻͈̥̖̪̱̫̹̞͙̙̙̾ͦ̈̓͒̈͋̿͊ͣͣͦ̕͜ͅt̻͚̭͕̞̤̪̹͎̠͚̗̠̫̔͑̏͂͋ͦ̔ͧ́ŭ̶̞͙̜̼͍̹̥̿͒ͮ̽̈́͘͝͞r̸̝͇̲̩̥͙̪͍͓͆ͨ̀͘͜͡ ̶̢̖̟͉͖̘͍̮̗̲̟̤̦̝̪͙̒͑̈́ͦ̈ͨͬ̃̈́͛̄͛ͤ̃͜Hͭ̽ͩ͌̽̅̑́҉̢͔̪̗̩̯̬̪͕͚̫̣̼̹̳a̷̷̡̨̨̟̙̲͈͔̥̰̙͇̪̫̰͈̳̔̽͋ͯ̔́̀͗͌ͣͮ̔̓̀̾̅s̸͍̻̬͇̔̊̑ͪ́̀̊̿̈͑ͮ̇̑̅ͥ͠t̾̏͌͊͒ͤ̃ͫ̚҉̴̴̠͔̰̬̳̣̘̱̹̩̘̻ų͛ͥ͐̇҉͟҉̗̬̫͚̮͕̫͕r̛ͣ̒͋̿̄̂̌ͧͭͦ̓̐̄ͯ̐̚̚͠͏̖͍͎͈̖̩̳͖͕͉̣ ̸̵̧̟̙̣̹̭̆̌ͭ̏ͤͬ̿̀͐͊͋ͪ̇̽̅̑̋̚̚H͚̰̫̥̥̞̘̟̠̊͌̈̿̓̌͑̕͘ͅa̸̳̝̞̘̭̭̫̟̙͔̯͙͗̀ͫ͐͛ͨͣ̄̿̆̍̓ͨ̅̍̒͌̉ͅş̰̖̰̼̣̗̝̊ͬ̊̄ͤ̃ͪͧ̍̔͌́͜t̷̸̨͈̼̳̭̩͆̏̿ͨ͌̂u̡̠̠͙̣̗̣̖̹̲̺̱̪̜̩̳̝̼̿̌͗ͣͫ͆̄ͯͫ̿̉̔̀̕͞͡ṛ̵̮͚͙͓͈͎̔̆͗ͦ͌ͫ̈ͫ̽͛͌̔͑̓̅̈́͂̚ Damn it, it didn't work. I then saw tentacles surround me. Oh shit!

Today's the... year I guess, It doesn't feel like it's been that long. I've been... something for so long I feel sane. I can't remember anything except the interfaces, my allies and the ponies. The interfaces feel wrong to me for some reason but I don't know why. It feels like an unnatural thing. Like it should be killed with fire. I decided to test out the team indicator. When I cycled through there were far too many to count. A few I remember were; Equestria, The Changeling Swarm, The Griffins and The Dragons. I settled on Equestria because I felt an odd pulling sensation on me. I felt cracks on my skin and excruciating pain. I heard an explosion and felt an odd sensation over my eyes like they were being clouded.

I couldn't see. I start to walk forward. Wait... I COULDN'T SEE!!!! That is not a good thing to feel. I could still sense around me. I felt an odd sensation. As if there were enemies around me. I walked up to the one with the most health. I touched it. It felt like stone. I left the team and walked around. I felt a group of hostile beings walk into my sense range. They had rudimentary weapons and golden armor. Not the Platinum armor of Unicornia. There were about 20 of them.

I activated voice chat as a preemptive measure. Sure enough, "Creature, come with us before you do something terrible with the statue of Chaos, You're blind and we have you surrounded," Are you fucking joking? Are the guards that inept that they think that if I was going to do something terrible I would come with them beforehand? They also must not know that I can sense all around me. I know it's been almost 10000 years but still. Man they're stupid.

"It isn't called Chaos, he's called Discord, and as another point, if I was going to do something terrible than why would I come with you? That goes against rule one of the handbook of bad guys,"

"That's why they wouldn't come with us, they had a guidebook for evil. Come with us and tell us more rules," Yeah right, I'm not stupid. I told them such. "You will come and see the princess now," Another fucking princess... Damn it. I hope she's not like Platinum. I'm not coming either way. I equipped my Blade and dashed behind them with my cape that oddly wasn't taken from me. Four of them were beset by various affects. Two of them darkened and turned on their fellows. Two of them started screaming. I saw spectral images of vampiric ponies and the Destroyer. I don't think the others could see them because of the strange lack of panic besides seeing the guards that were screaming. I ran through the crowd, knocking out ponies left and right, I knew they were sentient because of talking and I didn't want to leave families grieving. The last thing I did was knock out the two I corrupted. I didn't know if there was a time limit. In Terraria all debuffs have time limits. For some reason, the two of them dropped golden armor pieces, the boots and the torso... I really don't know why. Even still, the Windigo Tamer armor was better.

Speaking of which, I summoned my windigo pet, or at least tried. It spawned one that was base size and I knew that if I wasn't wearing the armor and the wristband it wouldn't exist here and now.

I went away from the place I was in. I opened the inventory. I went to the buffs, it said that I had seen the unseeable and that my body was coping by putting a magical blind over my eyes. I tapped the 'buff', it disappeared. Mother fucker! That is a sneaky trick. I could see again. I saw I was in a statue garden. The one I touched was a chimerical creature. It felt familiar on my mind. I touched it again."Discord?"

I felt him stir mentally. "You called, oh you lucky bugger you're out before a thousand years passed. What's this, your normal speed, BLASPHEMY!" Really?

"I'm just gonna go. I'll talk to you later Discord,"

"Wait no please don't do this I'm your friend! As I let go of the statue.

I looked at the ponies and did a double-take. There were all three types of ponies in there. There wasn't any visible bigotry earlier. Maybe they've changed... Nah, they've probably been forced under the heel, oh sorry, hoof of a benevolent tyrant. Meh... I'll find out later.

"Damn you KKK(?) ponies! I just wanted to be your friend!" They looked shocked at that until a corrupted pony smacked one of them in the face. All the white bastards continued attacking me. Earlier I saw a purple pony with... her, nose in a book. She needed to learn about friendship. I then saw the purple and green dragon, or at least mockery of a dragon, fetch books for her and burp up a piece of paper with an accompanying flame. I stared at them in the middle of the battlefield for what seemed like days. All of the ponies attacking me took a step back when they heard my manic laugh. "He was right. That cheeky bastard was right!" I then shoved that memory in the vault so that I can properly creep her out when I meet her.

I continued beating the meat(heh, giggity) and then I saw one with an amazing helmet compared to most of the ponies I was fighting. I wanted it. I hit him once with my sword and he stood through it. I hit him three more times before he went unconscious. His helmet flew into the air and transformed right in front of my eyes.

Golden Captain Helmet... Huh, I thought it was purple. I saw the other thing he dropped... three things of Team Dye??? Huh. That might be useful. I put it on and instead of it not doing anything because I wasn't on a team, it turned me slightly invisible, like the crappy camo from the older Halo games. Out of curiosity I put on all of the gold armor and dispelled the windigo. The bonus was different than the simple defense boost. It was All allies become 10% stronger, faster, healthier, smarter and wiser. Meh. I'll wear it when I get some allies. I switched back to the windigo tamer outfit and brought my windigo back. He seemed happy. I then felt something hit me in the back of the head with the force of a freight truck.(What's a freight truck and how do I know how much force it exerts?) What don't I remember?!? *Clunk* A hammer just hit me in the face. I gotta pay attention. "What the fuck are you guys hitting me for!?!"

"Come with us to see the Princess! She wants your aid!" Bullshit! "There are bipedal flesh golems coming from the north!" (Face Monsters?) "There are also giant bees coming from the Everfree Forest!"(Hornets and the Queen Bee?)

"Fine. There is one precaution I'm taking though," With that I turned my team to Equestria, or at least what I now see as Equestria(Civilians), there are two higher ranks called Equestria(Royal Guard) and Equestria(Specialists). I couldn't choose them yet. There were also two blacked out options. When I chose the team my colors became... No! Just no! I don't want to be pink, white, orange, purple, yellow and cyan in an eye-catching animated pattern! I totally don't want that. It's totally not amazing or anything. I walk with the guards who's jaws dropped. One of them tried punching me but wasn't able to. His punching utensil stopped 5cm from my face. He was putting some force behind it so when his utensil came up to the unmoveable object it stopped with great force. I heard bones breaking. He started cursing... I was gonna say cursing but now saying exclaiming up a storm with things like 'buck' 'flying feathers' and other stupid shit like that. His partner got all up in my grill yo!

"What did you do creature? He hasn't been hurt by a simple punch that he threw ever, and yet you've made him break a hoof!" He looked like he was maneuvering my murder maliciously.

"I've made it so that you guys can't harm me. Ha ha ha... I win!" He looked like he was deeply deciding to destroy my body. Yes! They walked with me, the one who was hurt was flying but I get the difference. We went up to a giant ass castle that I feel stupid for not noticing. It was too garish for my tastes. We walked inside to see... a throne room with a... the same white alicorn from before! "What the fuck?"

"I am Princess Celestia and I have need for your assistance. I am sorry for imprisoning you in stone. Me and..."

"That blueberry bitch!" Celestia looked affronted but quickly spread an excellent poker face.

"That 'female dog' as you put it was... Oh, guards, I can talk to my guest alone. ...my sister! We had just defeated Chaos"

"His name is Discord,"

"We had just defeated Discord and tensions were high. When Lulu said you knew what the Wor..." I was getting ready to interject. "the Destroyer was, I became clouded in judgement, can you forgive me?"

"Alright Celly," She looked astonished for a second and tried and failed to wipe her expression away with a poker face.

"Pardon me, did you just call a ruler by a nickname when you don't even know them?"

"I called a princess by a nickname. The king and queen are the rulers,"

"In Equestria I am the ruler," Choke on it.

"What do you want me to do? I heard about flesh golems and giant bees. Which do you want me to deal with Celly?"

"I would like you to go into the Everfree Forest and find the place that the bees are coming from, probably a giant beehive and take care of whatever is making the giant bees. If you have to kill a queen or even if you have to build a wall around it deal with the problem. I have arranged transportation to the nearest town, a quaint little place called Ponyville and deal with the problem, I will pay you five hundred bits.Is that an alright pay?"

"I also want your aid in finding a group of three dragoons called ;Thermite, Amber and Mortimer. That is all I require,"

"Two greens and a blue?"

"Yes. That is all I require," I left the room and a guard led me to a ...chariot? hooked up to some pegasi. As I got in I thought of how just 9990 years ago I fought Sombra. Oh wait 999 years... it's bullshit. I drifted into my imagination.