I woke up. The queen beside me was warm. I stood up and cracked my back. The noise woke Mutate up. "Was that your back?" I nodded because it felt so good. I couldn't talk because of the feeling. I was soon able to speak but before I could a pony burst in to the room.

"My Lord! The diamond dogs are attacking!" Damn it. I checked the chat to make sure it was what I thought it was. I then saw it. 'A Diamond Dog Army is Approaching From the South!' and 'The Diamond Dog Army has Arrived!' We both rocketed up out of our spots. I gave her a Handgun, a Cobalt Shield, the Magic Missile, a Crimson Cloak, the Celestial Magnet and a Shadow Key. She pulled out the Magic Missile and used it on a Diamond Dog outside our door.

"Spike, can you take a letter... ooh. I don't know why but I'm feeling pleasure for some reason," I let out another moan. I saw that Spike was hiding something. I dictated to him for the letter. "Dear... Princess Celestia, ooh, for some reason I am feeling sexual stimulus even though I am not... ohhh, having sexual activities," I felt much more extreme pleasure and let out a scream. Spike then sent the letter off and I saw what he was hiding. I had never thought it would be so big. I looked away in shock.

"Sorry Twi," I nodded. He was forgiven.

I placed the Ammo Box on the ground. Mutate didn't want to use the Magic Missile so she started hurling Demon Scythes at them. The gore was intense. All of the Diamond Dogs dropped some Canine Essence, Stone and Hearts of Digging. That will be useful later. They all dropped something called Spiky Gems. Huh. Seems legit. A MOTHERFUCKING WIZARD(!!!) popped up and shot some purple magic at us. My hornet shot a stinger at him. It got impaled in his throat. That was disturbing. He dropped something that I realized immediately I needed more of. Core of Magic Makes Creature you create have magic. I NEED MORE!!! I sprinted around trying to find some more of them. I found a group of five. I threw the Wing of an Ancient Dragon at them. I got five more magic cores.

I summoned a Gigantic Great Devourer Minion. They are about the size of a normal Eater of Worlds. When it popped out of the ground and ate half of them in one fell swoop, they got a bit scared... as did the ponies. A beefier goblin walked out of the group.

The bastard started throwing knives at me! I caught one. Knife of the Diamond Dogs. I threw it but it stayed in my hands. Another one came out of nowhere and stabbed him. I brought the Greatsword of Evil back out and swung at him. It did an alright amount of damage. Mutate shot him with the Handgun. I swung at him again. I did a really strong swing and caught him at the neck. The head flew away like a home run towards Equestria. I suddenly felt really sorry for whoever was there.

I got a treasure bag. I put it in my inventory. Mutate used the Cursed Maracas. They were super-effective. When the Diamond Dogs died dey're(Misspelled for added alliterative appeal!) heads exploded. There was blood everywhere! I got something called a Diamond Dog Digging Drill. It dug faster than my pickax for now. I went to the smithy. I found all of my bags were assorted in another part of the inventory. I opened the Solar Tyrant Treasure Bag. It contained another Alicorn's Alicorn, some more Alicorn Essence and a Heart of Extreme Light. There was also a weapon called a Solar Flare. It was a pretty damn strong magic weapon. Mutate already had one though. She had even made some more changelings to follow her. They were fighting as a team during the siege.

I made another Magic of a Deity and gave it to Mutate. She ended up being the alicorn of insectoid beings. Seriously, all of the crystal mosquitoes, which I found out this world has, flew off of me. They all did a ritual dance in front of me. Heresy! They all coalesced in front of me into a massive one. I don't like mosquitoes, especially ones the size of my head. I can't wait to get some zombies. I pet the mosquito because that was what I was expected to do. Let me tell you one thing, sunglasses don't stop how bugs feel. Disgusting.

I heard that. ... Alright. You do realize that I don't mean you... right? She nodded. I walked towards the crafting bench. I made a Zombie Goliath Minion. It was massive. I didn't place it yet but I knew. I also finally created a Frostwolf Alpha. It opened up so many crafting recipes, along with the first recipe to go to an anvil. It was called a Glacial Frostwolf Minion. I realized how OP it was by the fact that when I put it out it was much bigger than the betas. It was about as tall as me and eight feet long. Massive. The fact that he sent out a few Frostwolf Alphas just sweetened the deal. I sent him to deal with the monster problem around here.

One of the adventurers, the one that I saved, called out to me via the God-cam© and was in danger. Please Saviour, the griffons are after me! Please save me! I noted where he was. He was across a fucking ocean. I mounted Thermite and we flew across. I thought we'd never find our way across but we made it there. I jumped off and rolled when I hit the ground. I was in a full sprint as soon as I got back up. I was running and some thoughts went through my head. Kill the griffons, they are threatening one of your subjects. I shook that thought out of my head. I put on my Team Dye with no team equipped and continued to run. The shitty invisibility was what saved me from the scrutiny of the griffons, half bird half cat creatures. I soon found where my follower was hiding. I went inside the building via the Cloak of Shadows. I took off my dyes.

The equine in front of me yelped in surprise. "Who the hay are you?" She looked at me in suspicion. I'm the one you prayed for. She jumped. "You are the one who saved me from the boulder?"

"Yes I am. Like I said, I'm not a god but I will help anyone I can," She looked shocked that I had the same voice. "Do you want me to get you out of here?" She nodded. I used the Bug Net, I sold 19 of them. Daring Do/A. K. Yearling. I warped back to the Crystal Empire. I put her out in the middle of the courtyard.

"That felt... strangely pleasant. I don't really want to repeat it but I liked it," She looked around. "Wait, is this the Crystal Empire?" I nodded. "How did you get us here that fast? I can't feel the buzz of recent magic,"

"Via a great power. Walk with me, alright?" She nodded. "You called out to me from across the world and I came, I suppose in some ways I am like a god but I am not fully one. I do not know all of the names of the ones who worship me, what is your name?" She looked at me strangely.

"My birth name is Daring Do, but I go by A. K. Yearling," I already knew this because of the net but I didn't want to set a standard. "What is your name, if I'm allowed to know?" I nodded.

"My name is Terrarian, but you can call me Terry. A lot of ponies do. Where do you need to be?" I'm wondering.

"I have to go back to Canterlot to get the package to the Princess," I shook my head. "Why not?" I laughed in an emotionless way. I told her about what has happened with Celestia since Luna was back. She looked downright disturbed. "I guess I don't really need this, do you want it?" An item came towards me with great force. It went in my inventory.

That bitch! She was trying to give herself Limited Omniscience! Doesn't mean I won't but I don't have a fuckmassive sphere of influence.(Puns) I used it. I suddenly knew everything that I wanted to about my worshippers, I deleted most of the knowledge from my mind but the names and a small list of likes and dislikes. I also kept the languages (I'm not fucking taking the time to learn other languages!) because fuck yes. I sent Daring home in an Eater. She kept calm when I told her to calm the fuck down.

I also found the Diamond Dog Tinkerer(I'm not fucking with you, apparently this is unoriginal). He moved to the castle. I bought the workstation and put it in the workroom. I bought the Rocket Boots. When I put it down I first made Spectre Boots, then Lightning Boots. I put them on. I started running and fell over. I got back up. This time I ran and didn't fall over. It was getting darker out.

I also made an Alpha Sweetheart Necklace with the Alpha Honeycomb and the Panic Necklace. I put it on. I am now a badass. I made an Obsidian Skull and made an Obsidian Shield. I decided to make some more minions. There was something called a Flamewolf. I made an alpha with Flame Blocks, Canine Essence and a Charred Heart of Nature. I then saw there was a similar recipe to the Glacier Frostwolf Minion. It was called a Molten Flamewolf Minion.

I set him off with a quest to kill some windigoes. He went off and started spawning more wolves. I went upstairs to my room. I went to sleep and Mutate climbed in. Little did I know, the next day would test me like no test before...

Author's Notes:

I'm so sorry for the long wait... if it is getting up there in the wait-time, like about a week, you guys can send me polite reminders to continue the story. Coming up next is another canon boss of Terraria, then shit will get harder. Have a great (measurement of time)!