The rickshaw's wheels grinded the little pebbles on their path, undeterred. There was only enough room in the vehicle for one occupant, and the plump, pregnant pony riding it kept exchanging nervous glances with her husband who walked by her side.

“All comfy up there, Missus Cake?” Applejack asked, trying to garner their attention to her. “If ya want, Raegdan did brought a couple of pillows for ya comfort.”

Mrs. Cake was perfectly able to walk on her own to the library, but Raegdan had insisted on getting her there and back like this. Luna had agreed as well, claiming that the last thing they needed was for an accident to occur because of them.

“I’m alright, dearie, thank you,” Mrs. Cake responded warmly. She glanced towards the biped that up until moments ago had been dragging the rickshaw towards Twilight’s library, where they had promised the Cakes that a doctor was waiting as well as Twilight and Luna herself. “Actually, I could do with one,” she finally agreed.

Pinkie Pie dashed back and forth before Applejack had the chance to move, and aided Mister Cake in making his wife comfortable. Applejack took the chance to find out what Mayor Mare stopped them for, since she wasn’t needed. They were barely halfway back to the library, and had paused smack dab in the middle of Ponyville for all intents and purposes.

“What do you mean I have to pay a fine?” Raegdan demanded loudly. Ah, Applejack thought. Now it makes a lick more sense.

Mayor Mare stood steadfast before the tall figure, not intimidated by rumor, height, black mask, glare, nor voice. She was as unperturbed as her ever present teal scarf on her neck and with a pleasant, professional smile on her face. “Mister Raegdan, I have it on good faith that Twilight Sparkle was not amiss in forewarning you that you needed to attend to a meeting in my office where I would relay the conditions under which the charges would be dropped?”

Raegdan scratched the back of his neck. “She might have mentioned it a few times…”

“A few times?”

“Per day. So what, I have to pay so everyone will stop whining? Fair enough. How much? I think I have a few bits on me.” Raegdan started patting at his trousers’ pockets.

Mayor Mare produced a scroll and passed it to Raegdan. “You will find a full, detailed list in the invoice as well as the total. I will gladly answer any questions, but I must remind you that the full sum has to be paid by midday, tomorrow.” She raised her hoof, stopping any outraged interruptions. “It is not the fault of Ponyville’s governing body that you failed to present yourself and be notified of the proper date’s expiration.”

“I guess…” Raegdan huffed, and unrolled the scroll. His expression defined boredom as the paper unfolded a long way down, and impatiently started reading from the bottom instead. Five seconds later he was shouting at the top of his lungs. “You want me to pay how much?”

“A very fair amount considering the transgressions and unorthodox handling of your case,” Mayor Mare responded, straightening her glasses and still smiling, sunlight glinting on her teeth. “We’re doing you a favor, really. Not so much you as Twilight Sparkle, but the point still stands.”

“For this much I should have been allowed to push all these idiots down to the ground, get a fence post and—”

Mrs. Cake wrapped her legs protectively around her belly as if to shield the occupant from the ravings that Raegdan filled the air with. “Pinkie, could you please tell your friend to watch his language a little? I’ve read that foals have awareness of their surroundings while in the womb.”

Pinkie Pie glanced at Raegdan, who at this point had ripped his fingers through the scroll.

“—forth like a plunger until it comes out the other end—”

“Mmm… A little later.” Pinkie leaned close to Mrs. Cake. “He isn’t saying actual bad words, and he’s not in a good place right now,” she whispered conspiratorially.

Mister Cake had been growing a little green hearing Raegdan’s litany, though a little fascinated as well. Applejack just took plain old cover beneath her hat like she usually did, betraying no wince or chuckle. “Is he ever in a good place?” Mister Cake asked.

“Yep!” Pinkie pointed at Raegdan’s feet where a suspicious dark brown splatter stained the road and his boot. Applejack made a quick mental check of where Winnona was supposed to be today. “Usually when he isn’t standing in doodoo.”

“—and then spit in their mouths when I’m done as thanks!”

Mayor Mare waited patiently. “Are you done?”

Raegdan took a deep breath, standing back straight. “Yeah. I’m good now,” he said with a tone of relief. He leaned forward, resting his hands on his knees as he kept breathing deeply. “I don’t think I’ve been as stressed as I’ve been here for a long time. Spike and all, Twilight, trying to play nice, some other personal stuff... You understand.”

“I suppose I do. Very well, I can accept your frustration and technically you didn’t swear at me. Now, we have scheduled your public apology for tonight at eight o’clock. If you could keep to this schedule at least—”

“My what?” Raegdan’s voice was as cold, sudden, and painful as a brainfreeze.

“Your apology, at eight o’clock. If you do not appear then we will prosecute to the fullest extent of the law. See you soon, Mister Raegdan. And make your apology a good one.” Mayor Mare turned away from the suddenly stunned biped and left, still smiling and walking towards the opposite direction they were headed.

Applejack took the chance to congratulate her on the sly while Raegdan was still seething. “Now that was quite something. Ya must have nerves of steel to lay down the law like that on the likes of `im, Mayor Mare.”

“One more minute, and I think I would have gotten lockjaw,” Mayor Mare whispered back without moving her jaw. She treaded off with her legs straight and eyes not daring to flinch, taking the diminished, but still quite large, admiration of Applejack with her.

Raegdan wrapped his hands around the handles of the rickshaw and started pulling once more. Despite the dark mumblings, he was still very gentle. Mrs. Cake barely shifted or rocked on her seat. Good bits could be bet on the fact that having a pregnant mare along helped restrain him.

Soon they were back on their way, with Pinkie Pie rapid-firing everything she knew about Twilight’s new toy. Considering Pinkie Pie had paid no attention to anything else apart from the beginning sentence that the device would use sound to allow a doctor examine the baby without letting magic touch it, it got pretty weird pretty quick.

The Cakes and Applejack were sagely nodding in unison seconds after Pinkie Pie started talking.

“—then, the desert wanderers got the Biggy Worms to be their ride, and used their sound-blastening, ear-deafening, teeth-rattlening sound horns to beat down the evil army of elite soldiers who wanted no baby-womb-seeing spiced ideas flow—”

Mister Cake interrupted her, laughing with some hesitation. “Gee, Pinkie. I don’t quite think that this ‘sounds’ right, heh.”

“Oh! Dad jokes already!” Pinkie Pie made smooching expressions towards the sky as she took the criticism to heart. “Yeah, the sound horn weapons do feel tacked on,” she allowed but wasn’t able to finish her thoughts. It was a shame. Applejack wanted to know if House Bold would win.

Two mares were advancing on Raegdan with offense and carefully stoked outrage scribbled on their faces. The pegasus one had a powder blue coat with a carefully combed pale purple mane and wore a blue bandana around her neck. Applejack recognized her as Scootaloo’s aunt, Lofty. Lofty was staring sullenly at Raegdan in support of the mare next to her.

The one beside Lofty was Scootaloo’s other aunt, Holiday. She looked much like her niece, despite being an earth pony. Her mane had the same wild streaks as Scootaloo’s, though it was the same shade of orange as Scootaloo’s fur. The color serenely complimented her pale pink coat and deep magenta necklace. She looked easy going and accommodating.

“Hey, you. Yeah, you! Stop right there, criminal scum!” Holiday called out while Lofty smoked in silent fury next to her.

Looked.

The cracking of wood reached their ears, courtesy of Raegdan’s right fist tightening and turning sideways while still holding the handle. Pinkie Pie jumped onto the rickshaw next to Mrs. Cake, placed her head next to the distended belly, and started singing at the top of her lungs.

“’Cause I love to make you grin, grin, grin—”
“Fuck me sideways with a broom—”

“—Bust it out from ear to ear let it begin —”
“—ying to get to the damned library, not fucking Ithaca—”

“—Just give me a joyful grin, grin, grin —”
“—o in the name of all the bullshit you retards spout like runn—”

“—And you fill me with good cheer!”
“—as gotten your prostates itchy this time?”

Holiday continued, unabated by the duet. She walked up to Raegdan, and if she could reach up to him she would push her muzzle against his nose. “Where do you get off abusing my niece as if you have the right, huh?”

“Your what?” Raegdan asked, focusing on the wrong part of the accusation in Applejack’s humble opinion.

Applejack quickly put herself in between pony and alien, hoping to waylay any confrontations. Best case scenario, she’d get Holiday and Lofty to unload on her temporarily, maybe calm down a thimble. “Let me introduce you, y’all. This here’s Raegdan, Ah’m sure ye’ve heard of him.”

“Oh, just the best,” Lofty sarcastically spat.

“And these fine mares here,” Applejack continued loudly, stopping Raegdan’s finger from rising in response with a quick slap downwards, “are Scootaloo’s aunts. This is Holiday, and this is Lofty.” Applejack pointed to each mare in turn.

“What, her actual mother couldn’t make it?” Raegdan asked uncaringly, referring to Scootaloo’s mother. “Or did she prefer to hide behind her sisters?”

Lofty huffed angrily. “She is often away due to her job, and Holiday is Scootaloo’s dad’s older sister. And I’m not related, we’re not sisters.”

“Then how…” Raegdan’s head swiveled from Holiday to Lofty and from Lofty to Holiday. The gears in his head as he did his best to compare features were almost visible. After a few back and forths he let his breath go with a sigh of awareness as the truth clicked. “Ooooh…”

A number of ponies had started to bunch up, taking courage from the amount of ponies they already saw gathered around Raegdan. Not to mention that if there was a hint of interest, and no screaming, ponies in Ponyville were always up for a show.

“Don’t you ‘ooh’ me,” Holiday sassed, gesturing angrily. “You had no right to hit Scootaloo!”

“Wait, he hit a little filly?” Bon-bon asked. Next to her Lyra gasped loudly in shock, though Celestia only knew why. Applejack had shared the full tale just yesterday.

“Her and both her friends.” Redheart popped briefly out of the crowd, almost unrecognizable without her usual nurse uniform. “Quite the bruises on them,” she announced to everypony’s disgust.

“But why?” Bon-bon asked, lost for words.

Applejack took her chance. “Now, see here, y’all, what happened is he found ‘em frolicking on their lonesome in the Everfree Forest like usual—”

“Yes. At Zecora’s house!” Holiday cut her off. “Where they were fine!”

Lyra gasped again. “Disciplining three fillies? Now you've gone too far!” she flared up and gestured menacingly towards Raegdan.

“In case you didn’t know, there’s some fucking distance you have to cross before you actually get to—”

“The Everfree is a place with a reputation for unpredictability; there is a reason not even Zecora wanders about outside her home for longer than necessary,” Applejack interrupted, trying to stem off any illusions as to the perceived safety the ponies around her might have had.

“You know, I'm all for setting boundaries and talking with kids and timeouts, you know, actually doing the good parent thing. But, I'm also all for equal consequences. Going into the death forest without an escort is a monumental act of stupidity,” a pony spoke in front of the crowd.

Applejack tried to see who it was. Too many ponies had come out to watch or herded this way, and they were all talking together. Some of them to the pony next to them, others to as many as their voice could reach. Well, as many as this hub-bub could hear. Applejack had intense trouble making out who said what as everypony started making their opinion known.

Case in point, a male voice spoke behind her. “Making kids understand, in some way, that there are consequences for their actions is probably one of the most important things you can teach them.”

“Right,” Applejack fervently agreed. “And ah’m doing—”

Holiday raised her voice even further, now shouting. “Going ‘well the parents aren't keeping them out of trouble so I guess it's my job to hit them,’ is not the way to do so. You want to keep them out of trouble, fine. But don't hit children that aren't yours unless you're one hundred percent sure the parents are fine with you doing it!”

“Technically ya ain’t—”

“Most concerning to me is Raegdan's hypocrisy here.” A rumbling voice said. Applejack twisted around and saw Solid Charge stand at the back of the crowd. “If anyone were to lay a hand on Mrs. Twilight or Spike, for any reason whatsoever, they'd find themselves short an arm if they were lucky. Yet when he does it he's justified.”

“Ha!” A scrawny gryphon scoffed loudly. “Are you not sure of which person we are conversing? He knows he is a hypocrite and he takes pride in it. It’s almost gallant. Alas, this might actually be a chance we can use. After all, Captain Leaf Steam was looking for a chance to seed a new petition...”

“Let’s keep it real.”

“I always keep it ‘real’, my exquisite Commander. Except when I don’t.”

Doctor Hooves raised his voice and Applejack ignored the Lunar Guards for the moment. “There’s a point in not letting them go without telling anypony. What if they were to vanish and never come back? Nopony would have any clue where they were, in the event that a search party needed to be sent out.”

“Look at it this way, if the parents or guardians aren't doing enough to keep children out of trouble, then who's job is it to make sure they get the point?” One of the pegasi that had started clustering the air about them questioned loudly. Applejack thought it might be Cloud Kicker but too many were speaking simultaneously at the same time to be sure.

Lofty spoke with a fake accent, massively offending Applejack. "Yah hey-o, Cloud Kicker? It's Applejack, my kid’s ah being ah rowdy again, next time ya see her in the neighborhood can ya physically assault her to teach her a lesson? No, no, it's fine, it's just ‘discipline’. Yeah, thanks. Y’all!"

… Practice what ya preach. Practice what ya preach. Practice what ya...

“Agreed for the simple reason that it's a great way to go to jail. And probably get labeled as a child abuser. Hey, what if he touched them—”

“Whoah. No way. Or… nah. Hmm. Do we know if he has a marefriend?”

“So what would you do if you come across a child whose parents refuse to administer any kind of physical punishment and the child blows off all verbal warnings and time out punishments?”

“Hey, Apple Bloom doesn’t blow off all verbal warnings, thank ya kindly—”

“Even so, a person should not be hitting someone else's child without the explicit input, supervision, and trust of said parents and guardians.”

“He certainly didn’t have my vote!” Holiday yelled.

“Neither did mine. What if it’s my child next?”

“String `im up!”

“Leaf Stream, pipe down. And get out of here, we don’t need to get this worse!”

“String `im up!”

“Ah think we’re all getting a little too steamed here for no reason,” Applejack shouted, trying to rile down the riled up crowd. “Look, Raegdan here didn’t—” She stopped, looking aghast behind her. The only thing there was a single cushion. On top of it rested a pink cupcake.

And beyond the crowd, heading merrilly for the library and all of them whistling the tune that Pinkie sang just a few minutes ago, was the rickshaw leaving her to handle the crowd all on her lonesome.

Yeah, nope. She had enough. She put Buckin' MacGillicuddy and Kicks-McGee to the test and leapt over the crowd and towards freedom. Lofty also gave her a hoof—or head—to get some altitude from, and clear the pony obstacle.

Pinkie Pie aided Mrs. Cake getting down from the rickshaw because she wanted to be super helpful as always. She put herself down like a rug, puffed up as much as she could, and inwardly wished she had eaten more cakes this last week. The eagle landed with a thunderous puff of air, and Mister Cake reassured everypony that it was just Pinkie blowing a raspberry, no reason to panic everypony, no accidents happened.

While everypony else was going in, Pinkie made busy realigning her spine. A pop and a crackle, and the passing danger of being crippled for life gone as fast as it came, she jumped back up a few seconds afterwards. She went through the library’s door, humming happily and wondering if she would be able to see the baby as well. Maybe it could see her, too!

Two seconds later she was being levitated out.

“This isn’t fair, Princess Luna! You’re being a meanie. I want to see the baby!” she cried at her captor.

“I am not being a ‘meanie’,” Luna said, carefully depositing her prisoner on the ground. Pinkie bounced anyway, because she knew how things were properly done. “We are already crowded as it is. It’s me, Twilight, Doctor Laurel, the Cakes, and a whole lot of a mess that Twilight feels the need to be organized twice before we even begin.” Luna rubbed her forehead as if in pain. “It is saddening to see that Celestia has imparted Canterlot’s fervor for triplicate forms to the poor girl.”

“But I want to help, too!”

“You can help by not being in the way.” Luna closed the door she was standing next to just as Pinkie made a Heroic Leap, a level six earth pony feat; all she managed was to plant her face on the smooth wood. “Pinkie Pie, we shall be spending a sizable accumulation of time performing adjustments and waiting for Twilight Sparkle to write things down before we even begin. It will be boring for you. Trust me, I am not anticipating the next few hours. Please, go have fun somewhere else,” Luna patiently explained, standing over Pinkie.

Pinkie Pie stopped staring at the floor as she laid down on her front and pushed up, folding in half. “I don’t want to have fun, I want to help. I can write down Twilight’s notes for her—”

The door opened and closed again, abandoning her outside on her lonesome. Gone and forgotten, a relic of friendships past. Destined to fade away, to pale in miserable obscurity. To wait out time as it ravaged her, body and soul. To pass away like the ghost of a whisper promised to the wind... “Okay, Princess,” Pinkie chirped out, hoping she could be heard inside. “Good luck, see you later. When you are done!”

She turned to leave just as Applejack skidded to a halt near her. “Hey, Pinkie. You’re waiting for me?”

Big breath. Remember to fill both upper and bottom lung areas.

“Well, you know how the library is big but not very big, even though sometimes we barely all fit and another time I had a party for all of Ponyville in there, but now there are, uh, Twilight… Luna… Cakes… Now there are five ponies inside, and they have all their equipment, strange how we don’t see the equipment, it’s like it would be too much hassle seeing it and having to describe it, and we don’t fit, I think that might be Luna calling Mrs. Cake too fat, do you think that’s Luna calling Mrs. Cake too fat, and I’m not allowed to be a record keeper, I’m never be allowed to be a keeper, nopony ever calls me a keeper, and Luna closed the door on me after not throwing me out and not making me bounce, the nerve, I never, though I never know what I never, so now I am outside and so are you!”

Inhale and proceed.

Applejack blinked slowly. “Ah. O...Kay, ah guess. We’re not needed then.” She took out her hat, using her hoof to plump it up again, her head turning to look around her. As she put the hat back on, she asked, “where’s Raegdan, then?”

Pinkie Pie’s head swivelled around her as well. “Sun of a beach!” she cried out loud.

“Ah think ya need to cut down on the time you spend with him.”

Pinkie quickly grabbed her fellow earth pony’s shoulder, turning her to the side as to make the sun shine on both their features as they gazed down the horizon with determination. Or… would if they weren’t in the shade of the library tree. Still, it counted! Chest puffing and stomach swerling and quesing—maybe Mrs. Cake really was too much on the plump side—Pinkie Pie described their mission.

“Agent Applejack, your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to find and locate Raegdan before he actually goes into somepony’s house and tracks doody all over their carpet. It will be a hard trek, but one that will earn you a star. You might even have to ask a few ponies if they saw him, but we know you will not let us down. Agent Pinkie Pie will assist you. Good luck. This pony will self-destruct in ten—”

“Whoah, calm down there, sugarcube,” Applejack laughed as she got out of Pinkie’s hold and dropping her hat. “Nopony’s doing anything of the like.”

Pinkie Pie raised her hoof. “But you heard what Mayor Mare was saying. What if he gets in trouble—”

“Then he gets into trouble,” Applejack said, nodding. “As he did plenty of other times, or maybe he won’t. Plenty of times he didn’t.” She sighed. “Now, he’s a grown… stallion, so it’s ‘bout time he learns to handle himself on his own, good and bad. Ah’ve got an inkling Twilight knew he’d have to make an apology and pay a fine, and she let him find out on his own, and see? He dealt with it. He ain’t a foal we gotta run after all the time, understand? Leave him be. And who knows, maybe at one point he’ll understand if he keeps rustling up trouble around him here, it will be more difficult for him to visit again, ya know?”

Applejack picked up her hat, checking it for dust from all sides before putting it on. “Ah got some chores to get underway, and ah’m sure you have yer own things to do. Same as Twilight in there. Ah’ll see ya later, Pinkie.”

“Okay,” Pinkie said, feeling a little dejected but only for tenths of a second. “Oooh, want me to come help with your chores?”

“Nah, ah’ll be fine on mah own. You go and have some fun. See ya!”

Pinkie waved Applejack off. “Yeah… See yah.” Geez, and they said she had a one-track mind about fun. How could she not when everypony was pushing her that way? They were fun dealers, always hinting to her she should get her next high happy fun-time.

As Applejack left towards one direction, whistling the best song ever, Pinkie Pie went the other way, not caring where she was headed. She didn’t have a destination in mind. She simply needed to… walk.

And think.

She didn’t want to have fun. She did, but it wasn’t what was always at the top of her mind. Or bottom or sideways. She wasn’t a girl that just wanted to have fun. Not anymore. What she wanted to do was help.

Ponies walked on the street, greeting Pinkie back after she greeted them first, always using their name, always remembering one little detail that they thought nopony else did except them. Brightening up their moment. Watching them smile as they saw that they were really important enough to remember and care about.

She punted a ball that had escaped from a colt’s grasp back to its owner, and ducked into a tight alleyway or what would be called an alleyway everywhere else. In Ponyville, it was just a tiny gap between houses that was large enough for a pony to walk through.

There she let her own smile fade a little. Just a pinch.

Applejack, Pinkie knew, had blamed herself for not standing by Night Lilly that night in that burning building. Still did, but Applejack liked to bury stuff. Probably learned it from Winnona. Pinkie had taken every opportunity to tell Applejack that there wasn’t anything she could have done even if she was there, and would still take every available opportunity to keep telling her.

Cloudy Quartz raised no stupid Pie. Pinkie knew that there was nothing she could have done in turn as well. She did all that she could. It wasn’t enough, but she did. She tried everything she could.

A blanket floated down and Pinkie grabbed it in her teeth before it fell down and got all dirty. Eyeing the only open window over her, she folded the blanket into a secure bundle and punted it through the window. Goal!

She still missed Night Lilly, even though she barely knew her. Mostly because of exactly that. She wished she knew more about her. There were so many little details that Pinkie didn’t know that knowing them would have put a smile on Night Lilly’s face.

Anyway! Pinkie wasn’t hounded by guilt of not doing more for Night Lilly.

What hurt Pinkie Pie was that she wasn’t next to Rarity when the ceiling fell.

If she had been by her friend she would have been able to tell that the ceiling was about to fall with her Pinkie Sense. She would have been able to help Rarity dodge it. But she wasn’t. So Rarity got trapped and Rarity almost died. Because Pinkie wasn’t there to help her friend when she could have helped her friend.

Pinkie Pie counted that as another time that Raegdan and Luna saved her as well, and not just Rarity. It was pretty piling up so far.

Pinkie wanted to help. She wanted to be there and give help when she could to all her friends. Raegdan might need help if he is in a bad mood again. Twilight might need help in her experiment. Mrs. Cake might need help with her breathing exercises. Mister Cake might need help with his. Applejack could always use a hoof with her chores. Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Rarity, they all had their own moments that could do with Pinkie’s help, and while she was there as often as she could, she couldn’t be there always.

Sometimes they all needed her help, and Pinkie had to choose.

“You missed a spot there,” Pinkie said, pointing towards Cheerilee’s hind leg and ignoring the scream of indignation. “Cheerilee, really, if you don’t like ponies watching you shower then why not close this window that looks towards a wall and I had to climb a ladder in order to watch through from? Bye!” Pinkie jumped down from her precarious ledge and walked on towards the alley’s exit, glad to have helped anyway.

Some ponies thought that Pinkie Pie never thought. She didn’t begrudge them for that, she did look like acted without thinking a bit. A lot actually. Maybe too much. Pinkie Pie was thinking however. Gosh, sometimes it felt like all she did was think. Think, think, thinkety thoughts, clamoring inside her little skull, tilting and reflecting off the borders but without, very annoyingly, hitting the corners. So many thoughts and ideas and dreams and stories and songs and feelings and jokes and hopes that she could never, ever, speak out no matter how fast she made her mouth go.

And she could make her mouth go really fast. But her thoughts were faster and had more words.

Not just words. There were images and sounds and feelings. When Pinkie Pie and her friends got out of the Everfree that one long night that didn’t really last that long, she had a new fancy necklace around her neck. She also had a new fancy title. One that she always felt like for a very long time, only now it was official. Sign on the door and everything.

Laughter wasn’t just a giggle, though. That’s what the thoughts told her.

Laughter was there to help you. When you were sad, laughter would make you happy again. When you were afraid, laughter would chase the shadows away. When there was tension, when there was awkwardness, when there was doubt. It would come and make it go away and you could start over again.

But what if laughter didn’t come when it should? What good was it then?

What if it happened again and she was helping the wrong pony when she could do more for another?

Too bad helping everypony at once wasn’t so easy as helping somepony when they were taking a—

...

...

—Bath?

“I am a former Royal Guard Captain of Canterlot, a temporary Lunar Guard Instructor, and future companionship to a delightful mare… if she would have me.”

Stampede edged closer to Granny Smith, giving her his most charismatic smile. He paid grave attention to ensure he showed her his left side, where his teeth were still whole. The gray maned mare laughed. The soldier trademarked smile never failed.

“Why, yer just a wild dang card, aint’ ya, you old rascal? Comin’ all forward and sorts to a lonely old pony like me?” Granny Smith kept walking towards her farm, but the centennial royal guard noticed the subtle wait for him to step to her side.

“Lonely? But how can that be? Surely there must be at least one stallion of some intelligence in this town that would not allow such a prize escape.”

“Oh yeesh,” Granny Smith said, waving her hoof dismissively. “Ye’d better watch out ‘cause yer not the first silver tongued stallion this mare has met, no sirree.”

“Showed the way out I suppose?” Stampede asked.

“Didn’t have to. The kick got them all the way there.”

Stampede exploded in laughter. He liked this mare, he really did. She might be making everypony think she was weak with the slow walk and moving, but he could see the fire in her. A fire that burned as strong in him as well. “If I ever come to deserve it I will accept my punishment gladly. I will strive not to, of course. Being branded in such a way is not a feat I want listed among my accomplishments.”

Granny Smith hummed in thought, and for a few moments they walked among the thinning crowd, almost nopony taking a second glance at an aged pair walking in their own leisure pace. Youth was running amok, always hasty to reach its destination. Stampede would hate being young again even if only out of fear of forgetting the important lesson of age. To stop and take your time.

He was shaken out of his thoughts. “It’s near noon, so ah guess ah can put you to the first test. Ye hungry, Mister Stampede?”

“Mrs. Smith, I’m simply famished.”

A pink pony was skipping her way towards them and on a course to overtake them, highly visible as her head reached higher over all ponies in even periods. “Hello, Granny Smith. Hello Mister pony who has kicked my welcome party cannon all the way to the Sweet Apple Acres farm six times so far.”

“Hello, young lady,” Stampede answered back, glancing around for the aforementioned weapon of mass confection.

Granny Smith showed off her dentures as Pinkie hopped by on the way to leave Ponyville. “Hullo there, young Pinkie. Where off to in such a hurry?”

“Hullo, Granny Smith,” Pinkie said without stopping. “I’m off to take a bath!”

“Well good for ya,” Granny Smith answered, her old joints creaking as she headed back to her farm. “Ya stepped on something there, better wash if off ‘fore you track it all over a carpet.”

“She is not one to stop and smell the… flowers, is she?” Stampede pointed out.

“Nah. Never.”

Applejack ran the sales figures in her head as she packed up and got ready to head back to the farm. Apple Bloom didn’t do a shabby job at all actually. Half the reason of course was because the filly preferred to stand and keep herself busy. The other half was that ponies kept approaching the adorable filly with the shivering bottom lip—or just shivering bottom, period—to say a few comforting words and ending up leaving with a big bag of apples as well.

A lesser pony might think there was a shrewd business opportunity waiting there. Applejack however turned her ears deaf even to the proposal of the shallowest, dark whisper in her mind. No way was she heaping abuse on her sister for the sake of a trifle thirty percent increase in sales!

Now, if she could do that on her own bottom and expect the same outcome, then it would be up for debate, no problemo.

“I don’t care if he wasn’t doing anything! Rose wasn’t doing anything either when he robbed her and her sisters! We got kids playing here!”

Applejack did not question, did not wonder, did not change expression. She simply made a u-turn, not really easy with a cart, even an empty one, and headed towards the town’s center where the fountain was located and the yelling originated.

Raegdan sat on the edge of the fountain. He wasn’t even sparing a glance at the pony yelling at him or Mayor Mare and Cloud Kicker standing in Cherry Blossom’s path. The attempts to pacify the mare behind him were set aside and ignored in favor of taking one of his shoes off and scrubbing it in the cold water.

Applejack bent her knees, setting her back free from the cart’s harness. “So, is there a situation here or are we just screaming for funsies again?”

Cherry Blossom stepped back, flicking her chin upwards in disdain. “Oh great. It’s his bodyguard,” she said, dripping sarcasm.

“Who told?”

Raegdan lifted his eyes up at her voice and gave her a small nod. “Hey, little apple.”

“Hello yourself again. What have you been up to?” she asked.

He lifted his dripping shoe, showcasing it. “Washing this. Then she,” he pointed at Cherry Blossom, “started ranting at me and telling me to leave. I ignored her.” He smiled, showing off his canines. “Now that got her mad.”

“Applejack, this has all been a simple misunderstanding,” Mayor Mare said diplomatically. “Cherry Blossom is a tad overzealous in her assumptions—”

“Overzealous?” Cherry Blossom yelled. “There are foals around. What if he hits one of them again?”

“You heard ‘bout that?” Applejack asked all manner of factly.

Cherry Blossom scoffed. “Who hasn’t?”

“Heard which fillies he hit?”

“Uhh…”

“Let me give ya a subtle hint,” Applejack offered. “I’m tha big sister of one of them. Did ya hear why? Let me give ya another hint. They got a single whack each while they were still in the Everfree Forest.” Cherry Blossom deflated instantly, and you could almost trace the line of the pony’s thoughts as she realized that if what she had half-heard was halfway true, then Applejack wouldn’t be siding with the biped behind her.

“Oops?” Cherry Blossom offered as appeasement.

“Why don’t we all just move along and forget this happened, right?” Applejack counteroffered, catching the eye of Mayor Mare and Cloud Kicker as well. “No need to get in a further argument over this since nopony had anything but good intentions at heart and we all learned a lesson here.” Applejack made sure that Cherry Blossom understood this was directed right at her.

“A capital assessment, Applejack,” Mayor Mare quickly affirmed. “Come, you two. I think we should let the poor stallion in peace for a moment.”

“Sorry!” Cherry Blossom turned around and said at the last moment.

Applejack returned to her cart, caught one of the few apples that had gone unsold, choosing one of the biggest, plumpest ones, and threw it at Raegdan. “Good boy. You didn’t bite. Here, you can have a snack.”

The biped palmed it out of the air with barely any notice. “Thanks. For the save as well.” He leaned to the side so he could better rummage inside his pocket. “Let me just…”

“This one’s on me,” Applejack stopped him. She left the cart behind and sat next to him, feeling a light spray of moisture on her back. It was a little uncomfortable seeing how winter was almost upon them. A week or two more and it’d be time for snow. “Besides, you’ve more than paid for it. Unless you changed your mind I’ve got quite the number of bits waiting for me, ain’t I?”

Raegdan was still chewing on the first bite of the apple. “Hmm? That? No, no change. You’re getting your share. That will still happen.”

“Ah don’t suppose you will finally tell me why?”

He shrugged, swallowing. “You will learn when I’m dead.”

Applejack huffed and turned her face away. Leave it to him to make her sorry for bothering in the span of a second. “Fine, forget ah asked then.”

“No, I meant that literally,” Raegdan clarified, taking another bite. His glove was soaking up with juice so he used the other one to wipe his mouth. “You will learn when I’m dead. There’s a letter and everything. Blueblood organized it all. Very neat.”

“Thank ya for being so thoughtful, then,” Applejack said with as much sarcasm as she could muster. “Do you plan on getting offed soon enough so ah can scratch that itch?”

He shrugged once more, more interested in eating. “Eh, who knows. Depends.”

Applejack gave a half-hearted chuckle before the statement actually registered and made her pause. “That’s a joke; it’s a joke or ah’am pulling you back to Twilight by the ear.”

The smarmy, one-eyed male watched her outburst with an aggravating smile on his face. “Aw, she does love me!” he coo’ed.

Applejack’s hoof slapped his hand and he dropped the apple down in the mud. “You’re being a flank on purpose. You’re trying to make me leave. Well, ah won’t. Something’s crawling up yer spine, ah can see it. Ah suggest you spit it out now or ah can just go to Twilight and tell her that instead.”

“Yes, yes, alright,” he said, beckoning for her to sit down. “Again with the blackmail. Heavens, you’re becoming my favorite.”

He lift the apple off the ground and washed the dirt off it on the water sprayed out of the fountain. He took a deep bite, the apple crunching satisfactorily in the relative silence. “This is quite good by the way,” he said, hefting what was left after he swallowed.

“Thanks. It’s not the best, but me and Apple Bloom already sold the best ones.”

He tensed for a moment, a tiny fraction of a second where he held his breath. “Is she… okay?” he tentatively asked.

“Aw, she’s just fine. Tried to milk some extra allowance out of Big Mac even. Big doofus fell for it, as sure as you breathe and live. Ah’m surprised that out of everything this is what raised up Ponyville’s heckles. Makes almost no sense.”

“Think about it too much, what does?” Raegdan took slow aim and threw the apple core in a basket far from them. “The only reason I got out of bed that day was because people felt I needed cheering up. Look where I am now.” After getting up and drinking from the fountain’s jet he sat back down next to Applejack.

A minute passed, Applejack waiting patiently. He hadn’t left or told her to so he had more to say. He was just working up to it, she knew it. The seconds passed fast enough for her. She didn’t reckon it was the same for Raegdan next to her the way he kept fidgeting.

“I would never actually hurt the kids on purpose,” Raegdan whispered almost unheard over the soft splashing of the fountain and the rambling of Ponyville rolling over them. His gaze was on his thumb, his other hand slowly drawing lines from its tip to his wrist.

“I think I used to hit her. Beat her. That hadn’t been the only time.” His fist coiled around a small object beneath his shirt for a moment. “Not a lot, no more than just a handful in all that time, certainly, but… but I did. I broke her ankle, I told you that, didn’t I? Last thing I did to her. Held her down and snapped it like a branch. She was screaming. Crying. Not because of the pain though. She kept screaming not to leave—”

His voice was overtaken with sterility and coldness, and his fingers had wrapped around the thumb. He twisted. He pulled. He made no sound.

“The girls cried and screamed too when I hit them.”

The smooth pop of cracking his finger gave way to the slow grinding of bone as he rotated the finger in a way it didn’t want to go. “I never meant to do the same to your little sister. I didn’t even believe I was. I only meant it as a warning. Like… Same as I always meant it as a warning for her. But what I meant and what I did—”

Applejack slapped his abused thumb free. Raegdan flinched as if startled awake.

“Did ya know we give chores to Apple Bloom back at the farm?” Applejack asked. She made it plain in her tone she didn’t expect a reply, but he nodded slowly. Either he did or he had guessed. Either would do.

“You think she never had a fall or hurt herself while doing them? Do ya really think that three rascals like them never got back home with worse bruises than what you gave them, laughing all the while?” she continued.

Raegdan shook his head.

“Well, they do. Trust me, they are not strangers to the rare spanking either. Except maybe Sweetie Belle. Can’t see Rarity or her parents doing that for the life of me. It’s usually Granny Smith who done them for us at the farm. And trust me, she ain’t got soft hooves. It’s the next best thing to be beaten with rocks, actually.

“Apple Bloom got it twice so far. Once I remember was because she broke a vase and instead of telling anypony she hid the shards under her blanket. She was going to sleep on broken glass if Big Mac hadn’t noticed a glint on her pillow and checked. Told her we didn’t mind the accident at all, but Granny showed her we wouldn’t stand for putting herself in danger for a stupid, old vase.

“So you hit them a little too hard and scared them good. Well done. She did earn that one and you made it plain why. Ya knew that was enough, and if you’re worrying that might have been excessive? Even better.” She patted him twice on his thigh. “That’s why ah don’t worry ya might do it again, do it with no cause, or do worse.”

Raegdan settled his weight down again. His stiff shoulders relaxed, and and his torso retained a more natural curve. He had calmed back down. Applejack was only too glad he did. She didn’t like what she’d heard one lick.

She did know of course. What shook her was the other thing he said. Applejack had a good ear for falsehoods most of the time, and one thing struck her. ‘Not a lot, no more than just a handful in all that time, certainly.’

What Applejack struggled was with which direction the lie took. At first her mind jumped to the horrid conclusion that the poor, unnamed girl had been horribly betrayed by her caretaker more that the few times he claimed. Then almost immediately she had another thought.

It would be just like him to lie to himself and her to make himself out to be a worst monster than he really was, wouldn’t it?

But she would never know the truth. Maybe for the best. She certainly wouldn’t ask. That way madness lay. Mostly for him. The more he thought of it, the worse off. He had been making up for it, as far as you can make up for something like this. You never could, as far as Applejack was concerned, but hey, it beat sitting on your flank, right?

Maybe it was all like sums. Bad things go on column A. Good stuff goes on column B. You add them up, and you get your total. If it worked like that, then enough hard work could help undo any wrong.

If it worked like math. Which Applejack doubted. There was column A. There was column B.

She didn’t think there really was a total. Just your columns, standing there and neither of them undoing the other. Just being there. Both true, forever.

She could be wrong though. Who knew?

“Y’all about done with Spike’s room yet or not? Twilight tells me you’re working awful fast.”

A soft smile harbored down on Raegdan’s face. “Almost. All that’s left is a last check-up and varnishing the floor, though Twilight insists we have a pony in town do it that can finish it quick with a couple of spells and is really good. It’s so much easier when you don’t have to worry about wires in the walls and such.”

Applejack’s ears flicked up. “Why in tarnation would you put wires in your walls?”

“You’ve got magic and stuff, what we used was e…” Raegdan trailed off, the momentary sparkle in his face dying along with his words.

“ ‘Eeeeee’ what?” Applejack prodded.

Raegdan stood up, moving slowly as if he was caught in a dream. “Oh heavens. I’ve finally cracked like a walnut,” he breathed out.

“What in tarnation are you—”

Pinkie popped right in her face, smiling as if it was somepony’s birthday. “Hello, Applejack! Need some help?”

Applejack was about ready to reflexively answer and deflect her friend’s offer for later. A pink blur on the edge of her vision attracted her eye first though, and she glanced towards it, freezing in barely contained panic.

Raegdan had retreated into the fountain, not caring about the cold water at all. His lips had gone almost white enough that Applejack was certain was it was not the cold that affected him. He kept stepping back until his back hit upon the fountain statue, and he still kept pressing against it as if trying to sink through it.

Pinkie Pie was standing in front of her. Pinkie Pie was also pestering ponies to let her help them with their saddlebags. She was also picking up trash that had fallen on the ground and kicked it towards a waste basket, celebrating briefly with each successful throw. She was in front of doors, knocking and asking questions, she was on rooftops, she was climbing up on trees, she was scuba diving in a water barrel…

Pinkie Pie was doing dozens of things, because there were dozens of her.

“... Ah think we should let Twilight know about this,” Applejack suggested to Raegdan, who didn’t answer in any way other than shaking his head as if trying to deny the horrific reality in front of him. Applejack couldn’t blame him. Pinkie Pie could almost be too much on her own. Double she would be impossible. A town full of her?

“This reeks of magic gone haywire.” she concluded.

“I’m… I’m not going anywhere,” Raegdan responded.

“Well, you have to—” Applejack stopped and stared in fascination.

Unnoticed to Raegdan, who could do nothing more than gap at the sight in front of him, one Pinkie Pie had climbed on top of the earth pony fountain statue. The pink mare spotted the biped below her and grinned in wicked merriness. Pinkie Pie theatrically flexed her hind legs, and then she jumped vertically, her fall on a straight course for Raegdan’s head.

“Huggies from above!” Pinkie Pie yelled.

The moment she touched Raegdan she exploded in a pink cloud of sparkling mist with a loud ‘bamf’.

The most feminine shriek Applejack had ever heard exploded out of Raegdan’s throat in turn.

Twilight followed Luna obediently, sharing everything she had managed to find out on the way to wherever the Alicorn claimed Raegdan had been cornered. Surprisingly, they were heading for the north edge of Ponyville. If that was so, then that meant that when Raegdan starting running he kept following a straight line until he found a somewhat safe spot. Not his usual M.O. at all.

“They are obviously entirely magical constructs,” Twilight explained, somewhat unnecessarily, but she had to cite her facts first. “That is why the faintest touch with Raegdan had such an abrupt end. Based on where Granny Smith and Stampede saw Pinkie Pie heading towards, as well as a few other sources, I was able to pinpoint the origin as a magical lake located in the Everfree Forest, called the Mirror Lake.”

“Other sources?” Luna asked, her stare straight ahead.

Twilight didn’t bother fighting off the embarrassed blushing. “The, uh…, the clones are so willing to help that they might have… explained everything when asked. In full detail.”

Luna nodded, smiling a tad. “If only everypony was always so accommodating. I don’t suppose you found any way to rid ourselves of these clones in a quick fashion? Or if the magic has an adverse effect on the real Pinkie Pie?”

“I don’t know about any side effects,” Twilight admitted. “The clones are fixated on helping out, but there are so many of them and somewhat inefficient. They tend to be more of an obstacle. Then they attempt to make up for their shortcomings, which leads to damages, which they try to repair even while they don’t know how and…” She sighed, not attempting to go deeper into the destructive cycle. “When the real Pinkie Pie notices this…”

“She will be burdened with the guilt of her action, the load increasing expediently as we allow these constructs to do more damage.” Luna bent her head as if feeling the weariness she talked of. “Any solutions?”

“There was a spell that sends the target to be dissolved back into the Mirror Lake. Problem is, I don’t know what it will do if I cast it on the true Pinkie. It could have zero effect on her, but then again… You understand.”

“Raegdan is our best course of action. His touch will leave the real Pinkie Pie unharmed but rid us of the clones.”

“Exactly,” Twilight confirmed. “It is refreshing to have an easy solution at hoof, isn’t it?”

Luna stopped and turned to her, lips shaking in a laughing smile. “Would thee like to reassert thy assumptions?” She pointed in front of them.

They had gone a few paces outside Ponyville. Indeed, the back wall of the house nearest to them was only a few meters behind them, and they were on the beginning of one of the many dirt tracks that culminated together into the main road towards Canterlot to the north. On the side of the narrow dirt path stood a tall pine tree.

Below that tree stood a gaggle of Lunar Guards. The two earth ponies twins that Twilight had been introduced to, Tic and Tac, stood right in front of the trunk and were looking upwards. Twilight had been told which was who, but she couldn’t remember if Tic was the one with the white muzzle or the one with the white socks.

“Aww, is the widdle stallion still peeing his pants? Is he? Yes, he is. Yes, he is!” The mouth one talked to him as if he were a baby. “Such a cute puddle of piss, d’awww…”

The other twin was making what was probably meant to be scary faces, which they kind of were with the disturbingly wide smiles. “Oooh, I’m a scary pink pony! Fear my smile! Fear my laugh! Can you smell what the baker’s cooking?”

“Imma… huuuuug youuuu…”

“Just so you know, chickens don’t actually make their nests in trees.”

“Maybe you are right, oh scary guard. Maybe the world is a dreadful, pink place. Better end it all. You’re already up on a tree, so we can throw you a noose. It will be a swift end for you, away from horrible, pink, smiling little girls, and we can have a pinata out of the deal!”

“You can all just go fuck yourselves!”

“Does the widdle colt want his mommy? Does the widdle pissypot want her to kiss it all better?”

“Yes, I would, actually. And don’t you dare talk crap about my mother.”

“Raegdan?” Twilight shoved her way through the ponies in front of her. “Raegdan, get down now! We need your help.”

“No, thanks. I’m fine where I am.” Twilight could barely detect a black silhouette among the many branches and pine needles.

“What,” Twilight challenged, “are you going to tell me you are feeling ‘featherly inclined’ or something equally stupendous now?”

“Hey! That’s our word!” Red Dawn reprimanded her. For some reason.

“Get down or I’ll tell my mom.”

“Velvet doesn’t scare me! Seriously though, don’t call her.”

A few of the Thestrals were flying, orbiting the tree. Suddenly, two of them flew into the branches to attempt to extract Raegdan out by force. There were cries of pain, branches and pines breaking, and both Broken Gust and Cradle Song crashed on the ground, full of resin, scratches, and growing bruises.

Leaf Stream was instantly at Broken Gust’s side, helping her up and shooting dagger-like glances at the hidden biped above her. Drum Beat was doing the same for Cradle Song, only on a far more sedate and less worried pace.

“You Celestia-damned flankhole! Come down here and get a piece of me!” Leaf Stream yelled.

“I already got two!”

Leaf Stream sat scowling for a moment before helping Broken Gust limp off, mumbling under her breath.

Twilight marched back to Luna who had stood back and watched the show. “Could you maybe tell him to stop this little joke?” Twilight requested. “It’s not that funny.”

Luna’s gaze wouldn’t leave the pine tree. “I don’t believe it is.”

“Good, we agree. Will you go tell him then?”

The princess found a rock and sat on it comfortably, gesturing for Twilight to sit next to her and share the rough seat. “I am waiting on my ice breaker. Then we will have a talk with him.”

They waited. Every now and then one of the guards would try to cajole him down or more often enough would insult him in an effort to get him mad and try to pay them back in physical fashion, thereby getting back on the ground. As this went on, Twilight was getting further and further intrigued. Raegdan was actually brushing off almost everything, responding with foul language of course, but never actually implying that he would climb down.

Stalwart Shield even attempted a half-hearted attempt to indirectly insult Twilight, and Raegdan still did nothing. Which was… certainly out of character enough to make Twilight’s mood revolve on the fringes of true worry.

No more than ten minutes later she heard the voice of Solid Charge. “Princess, we found one. Applejack was kind enough to let us borrow it.” Twilight spotted Cast Iron walking behind his more physical minotaur partner and carrying something, while Applejack trotted from behind the both of them.

“Good. You may begin,” Luna ordered.

The minotaurs got into position under the tree. Metal teeth glinted between them, set in a straight row on a thin, metal strip. Each minotaur grabbed a handle, and the saw kissed the tree’s bark.

“Luna. Luna, you’re not fucking serious!”

“And… cut him down.”

“Luna! Luna, I’m going to kick your ass. I’m on a fucking tree, Luna! Don’t you do this! I’ll fall off and die. It’s a really big tree, Luna. Luna, please don’t do this. I don’t want to come down. Luna!”

“You may climb down on your own pace then,” Luna answered, raising her voice with naught an effort. “It will take a couple of minutes till it is all sawed down.”

Twilight had started having doubts, and she lightly poked Luna, begging her attention without notifying anypony else. She whispered, even though she probably would have gone unheard even with a slightly lowered voice under the chorus of guards cheering, the grinding of metal against wood, and Raegdan’s alarming panic. “Luna, I… Maybe we should stop? He sounds actually scared. I’ve never heard him sound like that.”

Luna looked into Twilight’s eyes for a few moments, time enough to see that Luna also knew that Raegdan was honestly scared, that she didn’t like hearing him like that at all. It was never a joke.

“Pretend you find humor in this. Don’t let him know you can hear his fear. It will only make it grow,” Luna whispered back, and then turned back, smirking evilly and answering Raegdan’s pleas with mocking jests.

A couple of minutes later the tree splintered. Solid Charge and Cast Iron backed away. Groaning, as if almost in pain, the tree slowly bent, the cacophony of violent cracks increasing as the trunk gave in to gravity.

“Timber!” Smoke Ring called out.

“Fuuuck youuu, Lunaaaaaaa…”

The tree fell away from them. Halfway down, Raegdan jumped out of the thick branches, managing to get sufficient distance. He rolled on the bare ground and, his body tucked like a ball, until he came to a stop. He gingerly made his way upright, pausing to check his legs before putting weight on them.

Luna immediately flew up onto Raegdan, sending him on his back. everypony else behind her, including a small crowd of ponies watching from some safe distance. Half the guards were actually used as a barrier, set by Luna to keep not the citizens of Ponyville away, but the Pinkie clones that seemed to upset Raegdan so much.

“If we are done with games, may we start resolving this situation?” Luna was smiling gently down at him. “I have reason to believe that Pinkie Pie will be severely distressed, perhaps even in danger, without your help. You will not abscond her of your aid, will you?”

Raegdan closed his eye. He looked exhausted, and Twilight could see how his clothes had darkened and stuck on his body. He must have been swimming in his own sweat. “Luna, I can’t. I’m serious. I can’t even… look at all these things. Everytime I do… I just want to run away.”

Twilight raised her hoof. “If that is the problem, then I have a simple solution.”

“I’m not wearing a blindfold. I don’t want to be in the same room, even.”

“Fine. Solution number two(2) it is, then.”

Raegdan sighed. “How do you do that?”

Pinkie Pie dragged her hooves. This didn’t turn out the way she hoped. Nopony had been happy with her mirror images, and if that wasn’t enough, most of them did not really help. Like, the exact opposite! Poor Ditzy Doo had her house almost completely renovated, and a few Pinkie clones later, all of Cast Iron’s work had almost become undone.

Nopony would ever forgive her; Pinkie would never forgive herself.

She lifted her head away from the sight of her front legs barely moving to check behind her. Nopony there. No clone. She was bad even at that. Somepony was gathering her clones and making them form a straight line that they dutifully followed. Pinkie Pie did so because she believed that if ponies wanted to get rid of the clones then they should get rid of the original as well. Better this way. And even then she almost missed her chance to help everypony by leaving, getting last in line in the nick of time.

The line was doubling around, and Pinkie was almost standing in front of their final destination. A small hovel had been hastily erected, no bigger than an outhouse. Twilight and Luna were standing next to the entrance, ticking off a scroll as every Pinkie went in. There would be a pause, a squeal of joy from the Pinkie inside, and then a small bang, the curtain fluttering gently.

She could see Raegdan on the other side of the small cabin’s entrance. He sat on a chair and his arm was spread away from him, going through a circular hole and into the cabin itself. Raegdan looked as miserable as Pinkie felt, flinching every time one of the small explosions went off. He wore a blindfold, was tied to a post, and ponies from the Lunar Guard sat around him. Leaf Stream was standing next to him, cackling.

“You know what this looks like, don’t you?” Raegdan asked, barely lifting his chin from his chest.

Leaf Stream looked almost as if she would choke any moment. “Oh yeah. Seriously. It’s killing me!”

“Doesn’t anyone else get it?”

“Nope. Bunch of prudes. Gonna install one just for the heck of it in the public restroom in the town hall right after this!”

“Why? Missing your hobby?”

The line had moved too far to hear any more, and Pinkie sunk back down to swampy thoughts. They were slow, murky, and smelled and felt bad. They dragged her down, and she felt like she was drowning in them, but couldn’t get out. She tried to find something funny, to laugh, but there was nothing funny in how it all went wrong.

All she wanted to do was help! Just help. Why did something good go wrong so easy? How can that even happen? She barely even did anything. It all came to shambles as if rolling down a hill. Pinkie couldn’t stop thinking of her clones shouting at ponies, calling out “help? Help?” like parrots, and then, almost immediately, the angry voices telling them—her!—to leave. To leave them alone. That they didn’t want their help. Her help.

“Last one. Oh Celestia, I hope this is her. Maybe we missed some. Do you think she hid somewhere? Or is still at the Mirror Lake?”

“... We will find out soon, Twilight Sparkle. Come, in you go now. We need your help in there.”

Pinkie knew that was a lie, but she went in anyway. Better to get lost among the clones and nopony ever pay attention to her again, not if she made such dumb mistakes. The heavy cloth moved back into place and Pinkie could only see dark after the sunlight outside. Not that she cared to see. She kept her eyes downcast.

Something touched her mane. Fingers. She knew these fingers. They touched her almost shyly, and stood still for a second. Then, they started digging into her mane, scratching her scalp and her ears, and Pinkie almost unconsciously moved closer. The palm rested on her cheek, felt the wetness of tears, and the fingers carefully, lovingly, brushed them off.

Pinkie pushed herself against the hand, letting it comfort her. The hand obliged. It was just there, and it didn’t ask for help.

It just gave it.

Raegdan almost doubled in two as his chest deflated out of sheer relief. “That’s her,” he said, nodding towards the hole. “We got her.”

Luna breathed in relief as well, the mask she had been holding on to cracking for a second. “Thank the stars! I was so worried. So many clones… I feared that they were made by mistake, and that the constant help they talking about meant something else entirely. That she fell in, couldn’t get out, and… and…” The night princess shook her head, tearing herself away from the horrific imagery.

“Dark,” Leaf Stream noted.

“Let me go tell Twilight,” Luna said after a painful moment.

Raegdan’s free hand stopped her by catching her over the top of her neck. “I think she needs a minute or two first. I think… she’s in a bad mood from what I’m getting.”

Luna remained thoughtful for a few seconds, her eyes closed. “I will attempt to do something for her, then; I shall gather all of her friends together while you keep her busy.”

Pinkie rubbed at her eyes again, making sure she got all the dampness out. She wanted to get back out with a smile again, not crying. Raegdan’s hand had left her alone, but not before lightly pushing her towards the entrance. Twilight called for her gently from outside.

One deep breath—this shack smelled like the color pink would smell—and Pinkie pushed the blankety door aside.

Her five best friends were waiting outside together. Not just Twilight. All of them.

And behind them all was most of Ponyville, cheering and clapping their hooves as soon as they saw her. A massive chorus of noise, not just of ponies yelling her name in happiness, but her other favorite ones as well. Whistles, and poppers, and balloons blown, burst, rubbed, scratched, bumped, thrown. Confetti was thrown as if it was her birthday, and best of all; everypony was smiling at her.

Hooves wrapped around Pinkie, and muzzles rubbed against her neck and mane as she was gone in a torrent of hugging by her five best friends. After a minute of it they tried to separate, but Pinkie wrapped them all around her legs and returned the favor again.

“I’m so sorry! I just wanted to help!” Pinkie whispered. It wasn’t much of an excuse but it was all she had.

“It’s okay,” Fluttershy whispered back. “We know.”

“Oh, you generous soul. Come here!” Rarity cried and lead the charge in a new hugging attack.

“Well, shucks, sugarcube, we always knew you were up for it. No need to go overboard.”

“Still, it was pretty awesome. I doubt I could do that much damage in Ponyville even with the worst storm I could—”

“What Rainbow means,” Twilight said, shoving the pegasus aside, “is that nothing happened that can’t be fixed in a few hours. No harm done.”

“Oh,” Pinkie said, cowering a little. Hours that ponies had to waste because of her. “Umm… I can… help?” she asked for permission. Maybe she could do this right this time.

“Ah’m sorry, Pinkie, but ah don’t think you can,” Applejack said after exchanging a glance with the other girls. The simple sentence felt like a powerful kick to the heart. From the inside.

“Yeah, you will be so busy you can barely sit!” Rainbow crowed.

“... What?”

Twilight produced a small photograph. “We managed to get this printed. Luna brought it here. She thought you would love to see it.” It was grainy, and black and white. Dots upon thousands of white dots on black ink, but through size they made an image.

It looked like two tiny foals, curled against each other and floating in a sea of stars.

“The Cakes are having twins.” Fluttershy’s expression was full of love and joy. “You have to help them get the baby room ready.”

Pinkie searched for Luna and Raegdan. It took a moment, not able to see well with the happy tears blurring her vision. They were behind the Ponyville ponies, on a street that would lead them back to the library. Raegdan was holding himself over a dumpster, retching and emptying his stomach into it while Luna waited next to him, a bottle of water held in her magical grip. Inwardly, Pinkie scratched one more tally in their favor so far.

They kept saving her.

“Erm, by the way, Pinkie… Raegdan wants a word later on about where you went on your lonesome…” Applejack said.

Twilight felt a little bad. She didn’t expect quite that many ponies to show up to watch Raegdan apologize. There was a crowd as large as everything in front of the town hall waiting for him. There even was a small wooden stage set up!

“Ever been at an execution, Twilight?” Raegdan asked.

Twilight frowned with distaste. “Execution as a form of punishment was abolished centuries ago, and even then it had been a far longer time since they were done as a public display. The practice is long gone, and good riddance.” There was a beat of silence before she remembered to ask. “So, no. Why?”

Raegdan pointed at the raised stage and then the ponies waiting. “This is exactly what they look like.”

“Oh, come off it.”

“No, seriously. Look back there. Someone’s got pitchforks and torche—Fucking Leaf Stream! Seriously?”

Twilight turned back to him. “Raegdan. Public space. Spike could have been here. No swearing.”

The cloth mask moved as if he was chewing. “I’ll add it to the list I have to recite.”

Mayor Mare waved at Twilight, and she in turn pushed Raegdan forward. “Good. Your time to shine is now. Make it good, okay?”

“Yeah, sure. Got it all prepared and written down. No worries. I got this.”

Twilight joined her friends that had all showed up, waiting to see if Raegdan would really go through with it. Rainbow and Pinkie were sharing a tub of pop-corn, and were trying to cajole Luna into joining them, the princess examining the white foodstuff with deep suspicion.

Raegdan in the meanwhile had gone his way to the edge of the platform, expectant silence descending on the crowd. Raegdan did a small wave, and then lifted a single finger directed at Leaf Stream.

“Let me start off by saying, ‘mistakes were made’. People, or ponies, were placed in position they should not have been, if only they knew better. The reference has been made to me that I have offended some of you, and if that happened then know that it was not my stated intention. I am sorry that you were driven to depression, rage, or tears by mere words from someone you barely knew.

“It is also very unfortunate that actions, perhaps some performed by me, led to certain individuals being harmed, as they claim, by being in such positions. Know that if you left my presence with a light bruise when I might have kicked at you, that this was definitely not my intention, and I regret that you came out of our interaction with hurts easily remedied by the most basic of care.

“Nobody is sorrier than me for spending time—wasting it, actually—here, listening to what should never have been. Nobody is sorrier than me that Mayor Mare had to spend her valuable time writing me a fine. Even though it might be my personal belief that nothing of real consequence might have actually happened or that this apology will not benefit anyone after all, please accept my expression of deep regret for doing this.

“No thanks for the apology are needed.”

Raegdan jumped down from the platform and hastily made his way through the crowd, an expression of pure regret plastered masterfully on his face. He disappeared into the darkness, heading for the library and refuge, while ponies were still puzzling out bits and pieces of his recital.

Twilight covered her face; he did deliver exactly what was asked of him.

“I believe we should go,” Luna observed, her eyes rapidly searching left and right for signs of danger. “I have heard the term ‘lynching’ once too many times for my comfort.”

“Wait a darn second,” Applejack drawled, her eyes concentrated on nothingness as if she was trying to crunch through large numbers in her mind. “Ah know he said ‘sorry’… Ah know he used the word ‘apology’… But did he actually…?”

Twilight was already pushing her friends, their hooves drawing lines on the ground as her magic forced them forward without notice. “Let’s go and we can explain everything when cooler heads prevail—Rainbow, stop laughing and go!”

“The buck kind of ‘sorry’ was that?” Somepony from the crowd demanded after a minute of silent digestion.

“String `im up!”

“Go!”

Somepony was banging the door outside the Cutie Mark Crusaders Clubhouse. Apple Bloom let her two friends bicker on as they tried to figure out ways to earn cool Cutie Marks without ever going into the Everfree Forest again. She abandoned the sweet, soft pillow that was a source of comfort in the wake of her punishment, and opened the door.

“Pinkie Pie? Whatchu doin’ here?” she gasped. Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle were there in a second, echoing her question.

“I’m here to temporarily sign up!” Pinkie Pie said, hopping up and down.

“But… you have gotten yer own Cutie Mark,” Apple Bloom pointed out, not understanding.

“Yeah!” Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo agreed together.

“Sure,” Pinkie said. “But now we all have the same one!” Pinkie Pie twisted around, presenting her side for viewing. Superimposed over her party balloons Cutie Mark was a fresh, red palm. Fingers spread wide for maximum coverage.

“Cutie Mark Crusaders Slap Winners!” Pinkie Pie cheered loudly and spreaded her thigh. “Ouch!”

The three fillies stepped aside to let her in. “Pillows in the corner,” Sweetie Belle helpfully supplied.