As the proud owner of the Carousel Boutique, where everything is chic, unique, and magnifique, Rarity was widely known for her designing and crafting of many suits and dresses, whatever event they may be worn for. Yes, the work could be challenging, outright demanding on occasion, but the clients’ joyed faces on seeing their orders always sent her heart aflutter.

Rarity cared for more than manifesting beauty on her own work. She was equally as invested in bringing beauty on the faces of her clients and friends through either her efforts or her presence. A smile from the heart could be as sparkling as any gem.

Rarity was also known as a bit of a romantic, endeared by the process of budding love. But she did understand certain ponies are just not compatible nor as amiable as they ought to be. Raegdan and Luna, her big, future project, had showed signs of endearment towards each other and were nothing if not on the same wavelength. That kiss Luna almost gave him the other day was one of the bigger signs—and yes, she didn’t miss it!—that her aid was required. Summoned! Fated! It was in that single moment that plan ‘Date Plan’ was created.

The title was a work in progress of course.

It wasn’t the fact that Luna had almost unconsciously moved in for a kiss before leaving that moved Rarity into play in this game. It was that she pulled back when she realized what she was doing. It shook Rarity’s soul to see such a sight, to witness a friend pull back deny their desire when in reach.

Smiling at the scene playing in her mind once more, only this time continuing in the way it should instead of abruptly ceasing, Rarity reached into her pillowcase and took out her very secret, very important key. Taking it in her telekinetic field, she slid out of bed and cantered over to a certain hoof mirror on her dresser. Bordered with a wavy cord of metal around the rim, it had a thin rod with a crown on the top of it. The alabaster unicorn plucked it off with her magic, revealing the rod to be a copy of the pillow key. She looked to the bottom drawer, at the hardened steel padlock securing it from opening, and brought the keys to use.

She paused for a moment, noticing scratches on the keyhole that were never there before. Suspiciously, and muttering Sweetie Bell’s name, Rarity inserted one of the keys into the hole. It turned, but didn’t unlock. She put the second key in, this time speaking her sister’s name in cursive. It did unlock. Rarity opened the drawer, the incantation of hairbrush punishment on her lips.

The scene in her head crashed into the plane of the forgotten, her brain now too focused on staring at the spot where her stack of precious, irreplaceable, and spicy papers no longer sat.

There was only wood, and not in the figurative sense. Her project was gone. Somepony had pilfered her room, and… her other valuables were still there? But, then… this meant...

Her hidden sin was found, or worse, read!

With a leaden weight in her stomach, and a respectable scream that would have been heard by Luna were she still on the moon in the air, she galloped from her room, down the stairs, out the door, past town hall, through the marts and to Twilight’s house, all with a single breath of air. On the exhale.

“Twilight!” Rarity wailed, her eyes glistening with tears born of terror and her shattered, once bright, future. She threw herself at the door, pounding it with desperation. “Twilight, of all the worst things that could happen, this is the! Worst! Possible! Thing!”

“What, did they stop making eyeliner?”

Rarity opened her eyes, and scrambled off her back. Instead of Twilight, Raegdan stood at the threshold of the library’s door. For some reason he wasn’t standing straight, but slightly bent over with one hand supporting the region just over his buttocks, as if it would crumble if he let go.

“You!” Rarity shouted in inspiration, pontificating at him as a goddess from above—or below, considering the difference in their height. “You are exactly what I need!”

Raegdan smiled smugly at nopony, gazing at the sky pretending to be nostalgic. “Ah, yes. You’ve finally fallen for my razor-sharp wit and rugged, good looks. Classic tale. Every lady yearns a ride on the Raegdan train.”

Rarity fumed. “I have no time for your lewd words and implications, you boorish buffoon. I have been burgled! Plundered! Raided! Bamboozled! Robbed!”

“On the bright side, nobody took your thesaurus.”

“They took my… diary. Or, not exactly my diary, I don’t keep diary thoughts in there, that’s a different book entirely—my diary—but they took my-my—!” Rarity fumbled for the right word to describe the object of her predicament.

“Your not-diary?” Raegdan said with sarcasm.

“Yes! Now, lest you want my part as an instructor in the art that you are so woefully inadequate at, it would be prudent that you offer your own help in turn in my time of need! Am I understood or should I speak more plainly?”

“Wow. When you ask so nicely, how can I ever say no?”

She shoved the steel padlock she had kept in the grip of her magic at his masked face. “Look. Look! They scampered into my very own bedroom and robbed me blind! Celestia only knows how my sister and I, delicate sleeping flowers and so vulnerable in our innocence, avoided their filthy, sinister hooves.”

Raegdan’s fingers wrapped around the padlock, and Rarity felt once more the disconcerting effect of his sordid immunity breaking her magic apart. It felt as if there was nothing there, not in the sense of no object, but literal nothingness. A universe of non-matter that her magic could not interact with. It was a void that somehow felt full.

“I doubt Celestia knows either, she was dead to the world, believe me,” he mysteriously mumbled. He examined the padlock, his lips pursing in… disapproval? “Heavens, this is disgraceful. Fucking amateurs. They couldn’t get the lockpick in?”

“I knew it! This is a clue isn’t it?” Rarity anxiously asked.

“Oh yeah. It means somewhere out there is a very disappointed missus.” He lobbed the heavy-duty padlock back at her in an easy arc. “Want to come inside? We got some hot omelet still left. Luna’s got the cooking part down, but not the portions one. She’s not used to making for more than two. Not even Celestia could clear up the entire table. Not that she didn’t try…”

“Princess Celestia? She is here?” Rarity’s hoof quickly ran over her mane, her eyes objectively criticized the state of her tail, and she stood straighter. “I should come in and pay my respects to her at the very least—”

Raegdan’s foot made a dull thumping noise as his leg appeared in front of her, blocking her entrance. He was looking down at her in the way he did when he was truly getting upset or angry over something. “If you start any of your shit I will kick you out, I swear it,” he growled.

“Excuse me? Me?” Rarity felt a hoof stabbing her in the chest, and looked down to find that it was her own, not even realizing she was doing that. “Start my…” She struggled with the word, and made due with the best she had available. “Defecation?”

A gloved finger shot under her chin and pushed it up, smarting a bit as its point bit into the sensitive flesh. Raegdan had bent enough to look at Rarity from uncomfortably close. “Yes, your shit. How do you think Luna will feel if you start kissing Celestia’s feet when you spent yesterday with her and did nothing of the sort? If they are the same, then you treat them the same.”

“Oh. I see your point. I…” Rarity hesitated, but Raegdan did hit the nail on the head. “I will do my best to be appropriately civil and respectful without harming Luna’s feelings or demoting her position in relevance, I assure you.”

He nodded. “As long as you keep that in mind, fine.” His finger stopped its soft stabbing of her under-chin and Rarity rubbed at the tender part. “Celestia likes it when you don’t treat her too much like royalty, too,” he mumbled.

Raegdan tried to straighten up as he rose, and his spine popped loudly like a tree and all its branches breaking under the onslaught of a fierce wind. He grabbed onto the side of the door to retain his balance. He inhaled sharply as he did so, gasping for air and in pain, his hands rushing to support his back as he comically made a sound between a blacksmith’s blower working backwards and a surprised, pregnant giraffe. Almost immediately, he relaxed, looking relieved as he rubbed his back, though there was still ache in his voice. “Oh heavens, this feels much better now. Come in.”

He led the way inside the library. The only one inside that Rarity saw, despite her expectations, was Luna. The Night Princess was sitting comfortably, and very un-lady like, on a large armchair, hungrily devouring the words out of a thin collection of papers her magic held in front of her. Rarity greeted her, but she doubted that Luna noticed her.

Raegdan fell on the armchair next to Luna, picking up a second stack of papers himself. He pointed towards the kitchen before he got lost in reading as well. “Food’s in there,” he absently said.

“But what about the thieves?” Rarity reminded him, the urgency making a spectacular comeback. “They could be getting away!”

“Later,” he answered, waving her off and reading on with a pained expression. “When we’re done. Don’t worry about it, I’m already on your case, I promise.” He mumbled a bit as he read, pulling back his face with a wince at what he reviewed. “Dear heavens, slow down girl...”

“If you are certain…” Rarity couldn’t really start making a fuss in her friend’s home like she owned the place. Even so, she wasn’t sure she had to. Something in Raegdan’s stance told her to really not worry, that he knew more than he revealed. He hadn’t been too surprised after all.

Now that Rarity thought about it, with her wits returned, he didn’t even seem upset or angry. A very suspicious reaction from the over-protective non-stallion.

Stepping into the kitchen, Rarity found Twilight munching her breakfast slowly, every bite brought down forcefully and with anger, as if she held a personal grudge with the beaten yolk. Her eyes were focused on her plate, so she didn’t see Rarity come in. Twilight probably didn’t hear her either, as she had huge wads of cotton forced into her ears, sticking out like oafish pigeon tails.

Twilight reached for her glass of juice, and she spotted Rarity standing at the door, examining her. The purple unicorn casually removed one of the cotton wads, ignoring the loud cork-like pop. She spoke to Rarity with a calm and serenity that was worrying.

“Good morning, Rarity. Have you had breakfast yet?”

Rarity’s eyebrows furrowed in curiosity. “Not yet, dear, no. There was a happenstance,” she emphatically said. “Spike won’t join us today?”

Twilight’s magic blindly prepared a plate for Rarity, bringing it to the seat next to her, utensils following close behind. “Nope. Left early to go meet up with the Cutie Mark Crusaders since it’s a Saturday and all. He wants to introduce them to Stormdrain. Orange juice?” An empty glass shook questioningly next to Rarity.

“Oh, yes. Of course. Thank you ever so much. But while I appreciate the hospitality, may I note that you don’t appear surprised to see me here at all.” She cut into the omelet and had a taste. It was simply divine. Enough cheese to make arteries quiver in morbid pleasure, but delicious nevertheless.

Twilight stopped the flow of juice by tipping the pitcher back straight. She interrupted her humming just long enough to speak. “I had an inkling that you or one of our friends might show up. Mostly you. Well, until I see what they got from Applejack at least.”

Rarity scanned around for a napkin or paper towels to tie around her neck. If she were to keep ravishing her food like a barbarian or Pinkie Pie, then she should at least make sure she kept her coat clean first. “Very mysterious, darling. Quite fitting the theme of how my day has been developing so far. In this spirit, may I ask what the ear plugs are for?”

Twilight looked back at the huge cotton wads left on the table, seeming to have forgotten about them, and directed a sideways smile at Rarity. A very, very sinister one. It was quite unsettling. “Oh, this? It’s so they will not try to read any more passages to me.”

“… Passages of wha—”

Twilight plugged her ear again, and she stopped paying attention to Rarity, acting as if she was dead to the world.

“Well, I never!” Rarity proclaimed. Her comments to rude behavior going unheard, Rarity decided to forsake her lecture for proper hostess rules for later. Most of her days she made due with a quick cup of coffee or a small bowl of cereal at best. Eyes on the prize, she kept the crispy forkfuls of egg coming.

“Twilight Sparkle, somepony’s at the door. It’s your turn!” Luna’s voice, generated by her impressive lung capacity, hit Rarity like a freight train. Twilight, of course, heard nothing, and she pointedly refused to heed Rarity’s frantic hoof waving that she needed to take her earplugs off.

“That’s alright, darling. I will get the door.” Twilight might not have heard her, but manners demanded that she let her host know nevertheless—or at least make the attempt. Rarity went to the door, noticing once more how deeply focused in their reading both alien and Alicorn were. A part of her wondered where was Princess Celestia or if she was even truly here.

She opened the door in the midst of a second row of knocks, interrupting the—

A Diamond Dog. A Diamond Dog that looked positively… wolfish, and was wrapped in metal from top to bottom. Rarity had a flashback to dank, dark holes underground, illuminated by torches and growls growls reverberating down the tunnels, and large Dogs holding spears. Though none of them ever was as well armored as this one. This simple detail broke her away from the spell that had taken her over.

Was that his helmet dangling from his belt? Who in their right mind decided to add a hinging jaw cover and extra rows of sharp metal teeth? The sharp, zig-zagging slits of the dark helmet drilled at her head, and its empty mouth seemed to howl with berserker rage.

“C-Can I help you?” Rarity asked with a stutter that was barely there. The fellow was obviously part of Luna’s guard and there was no need at all to be upset. None at all.

The Diamond Dog tried to lean and look around her in a lukewarm attempt to see through the half-opened door. He shrugged, and brought his paw forward. “I’m Raven. We got a prize like we were told to. Completed the exercise. Let the bosses know, okay?”

Rarity took the object he offered in a half-daze, and the Diamond Dog made a sharp turn around and left, walking proudly in his armor and even licking the fur on his paw to shine the moon sigil on the front of his chestplate. A few steps away he stopped, and Rarity heard him sniff the air while swerving his snout to the right. He squinted curiously for a couple of seconds, before sneezing loudly and shrugging emphatically as he went on his way.

When the visitor was out of sight and the door closed behind her, Rarity was able to see what she was actually holding.

Applejack’s hat.

I had an inkling that you or one of our friends might show up. Mostly you. Well, until I see what they got from Applejack at least.

… They didn’t…

Luna drowned a chuckle before it made it out of her throat, its valiant attempt to struggle for life gone under the undisturbed waters of her vague expression. “This is outstanding,” she whispered in the chilling silence, part of a conversation that only now Rarity realized had been going for some time. Nopony else could see or feel the encroaching, terrible darkness that Rarity felt enshrouding them all rapidly, finding themselves in a long, claustrophobic tunnel where the only existing color was the white of paper.

“Which part are you at?” Raegdan whispered back.

Luna put a hoof over her mouth, doing her best to cease her giggling so she could speak. “The one where you mount me. You?”

Raegdan winced, covering his eye. “The one where you mount me…”

“What?”

Raegdan offered the page he was referring to, bringing it closer to Luna’s inquiring face. “Here, see? Apparently, this thing’s like a belt or something, but it also twists in place so you...”

… Nooooo…

Luna’s hoof snaked out, whining like a filly at the same time. “I want to read this one, let me read this oneeeee!” Raegdan stretched his own hand, giving her the papers--

Rarity fell down like a white bolt of lightning—the zenith of her pounce making her back brush the ceiling—and snagged the offending chapter out of Raegdan’s hand with her teeth. Her magic furiously overworked itself. A tornado of paper swivelled around her, swiftly reforming the complete story she had so painstakingly crafted, granting her with a couple of errant papercuts. Her pupils turned to pin-prick dots as she counted pages and put chapters in their correct order, almost faster than the eye could read.

“I was reading that...” Luna complained, still on her seat. Rarity ignored her. Chapter one to three, that was alright. Four, five, six… everything in order, and they seemed untouched apart from some bented corners, thank her lucky stars. Seven, eight…

No…

She was certain she had been standing in between Raegdan and Luna just an instant ago. She found herself riding Raegdan’s chest, her hooves pulling the lapels of his shirt and screaming in his cowardly, thieving, hidden face, may a thousand spiders lay eggs behind his eyes and under his tongue—

“WHERE IS CHAPTER NINE? SPEAK NOW OR I’LL PLUCK OUT YOUR EYES THROUGH YOUR NOSTRILS!”

“Was that the last one?” Raegdan mused, amused at the amount of spittle coming out of Rarity’s growling mouth. He pointed upwards, grinning like the uncaring maniac that he was. “Because, if so, Celestia likes to read the ending first. She wants to make sure it has a happy ending, you know? And judging by what I’ve read so far, it’s choke full of happy endings. Whoo boy, it’s drenching with them…”

Rarity let him go. In fact, she was feeling generous and expedited his withdrawal by pushing his skull against the back of the chair, eliciting a laughing yelp of pain from him. Luna was biting on her hooves, her eyes tearing as she snorted through sealed lips.

Then began her personal glimpse of Tartarus.

Heavy hoofsteps, bearing the weight of steel shoes and irate, weeping Alicorn, came down the stairwell. A tiny, still operating part of Rarity’s brain imagined the scene that had been unrolling until then. Princess Celestia deciding to rest on Twilight’s bed on the second floor while she read what her family and friend shared with her, innocent in her ignorance. Perhaps she had decided to open the balcony door to let a soft breeze in. She could have been drinking her morning tea, the very picture of relaxation.

It’s alright, Rarity, the Reasoning Center of her brain told her. There is nothing that can’t be fixed with proper care and caution. We are professionals after all. All you have to do is destroy the governing heads of Equestria, kill your best friends, and level Ponyville to the ground. Yes, your boutique will be sorely missed, but you don’t really have a choice now, do you?

Princess Celestia’s face was sickly green. And screaming of course, we can’t forget the screaming. So much screaming, all of which gushed from the heart. She was running like a mare possessed, heading for the bathroom while incoherent syllables slowly transitioned to a howling rant.

“She is my sister! We are sisters! We don’t… We don’t bucking trade or share or-or-or comfort each other by-by-by—kiss or-or-or tongues on-in—Aaaaaaaaaaah!” Rarity felt more and more like a worthless worm as Princess Celestia shrieked for what her eyes had read and her mind could not forget, each word a spear in her heart.

The bathroom door slammed behind the elder Diarch of Equestria, and Rarity heard her retching and half-crying.

“It was just a personal side project…” Rarity whimpered towards the sobbing as an apology.

Behind her, Raegdan and Luna were striving against each other, sparring on the floor for ownership and first dibs on the acclaimed portion that brought the Princess to tears. They bit and kicked until each managed to acquire about half a chapter’s worth of pages.

“I’m doing your voice!” Luna announced with glee, cackling as she read random sentences in preparation. “It will be… Oh my. All four? Ah, I see. Your hands.”

“Fine. I’m doing yours and Celestia’s,” Raegdan answered, laughing in equal volume. His eyes ran back and forth across the pages he held. “Shouldn’t be too hard. It’s mostly moaning and grunts. Oh, except this part... Wow. Oh, heavens! You think you’ve seen some shit and then you read this—”

A whirling firestorm, fury and senseless desperation in magical form, funneled out of Rarity’s horn and towards the retreating forms of the instigators of her doom. Paper turned to ashes, an astral mane curled as its ends surrendered to the heat despite its magical, but meager, protection, and a biped fire elemental ran to the bathroom screaming for water using the most vulgar of language.

Rarity’s last thought before she fainted was that she really didn’t know any fire spells.

“I think she’s waking up.”

“I’m never, ever leaving either of you alone with my friends again.”

“I do not deserve this accusation, Twilight Sparkle. Mine sister’s theatrics were what drove thy friend’s mind to the brink.”

“I admit I overreacted, but it was pretty traumatizing. I was not prepared. It went from zero to Sonic Rainboom in seconds. You should have warned me. At least it wasn’t a magical comic book like others I’ve seen. The prose was nice though.”

“... What? Twilight, what are you looking at me for? She set me on fire! I’m not to blame here.”

“Maybe we are. A small amount of responsibility does lie with us, at least.”

“Ah, come on, don’t do that, Luna. Never throw out a free ‘get out of jail’ card.”

“Oooh, we should play that again. Twilight, do you possess a copy? I wish to be the banker this time.”

“That was an impressive spell if it was cast as you told me. I didn’t think Rarity knew such spells, and she didn’t damage anything she didn’t mean to. Look, the walls are untouched!”

“... The little, white bitch!”

“Language. It’s uncommon but not a rarity, my dear student.”

“Heh.”

“Thank you, Raegdan. Twilight, you remember the day you earned your cutie mark, of course. Pure, reflexive will can bring a spell to reality, but sometimes with a cost that refined spellwork lacks. No wonder she fainted. She exhausted all of her reserves in a single second.”

Rarity could hear their voices. She had been able to do so for a while, but it had been nothing but a pointless, yet soothing, jumble before. Cohesion entered her awareness, meaning was settled, and remembrance joined in, springing happily like Pinky Pie. It waved, and went to work, excitedly reminding her of what happened so far.

Vomit rose in her throat.

“There, she’s awake. You don’t scream like that when asleep.” Raegdan’s palm was displaying her form, laid on the couch, with indifference, and quite the load of sour grapes on his expression.

“Rarity, calm down. Everything’s fine. Deep breaths, come on.” Twilight was hovering over her, visible worry trying to edge its way into her carefully schooled, calming features. Twilight’s magic took something off Rarity’s forehead, removing the coolness that nested there.

Rarity still felt quite groggy and very hyperventilated, but not enough not to be thankful for Twilight’s presence after her ordeal. “Oh, darling, today was the worst. I’ve no idea what to do. How am I supposed to show my face to Princess Celestia again? What if… what if she imprisons me for what I’ve done? Or banishes? Oh, woe is me…”

Princess Celestia’s smile appeared over Rarity’s prone head. “It wasn’t that bad. Honestly, I’ve seen much worse. That was a new… pairing though.”

“Triple shot,” Luna and Raegdan cackled together.

“Shush.”

Rarity didn’t hear the levity in the princess’ voice. Her mind was currently too busy envisioning darker features and desperate ways to avoid them. She rushed off the couch and down at the Princess’s hooves, bellows for mercy following every placating kiss.

The Sun Princess turned to Raegdan with a hint of amusement in her stance, even as she tried to kick off Rarity’s attempts to huddle at her shoes. “Why does everypony assume that I’ll throw them in the dungeon or banish them for every little infraction? When have I ever done that to earn that reputation?”

Raegdan had moved next to a window, his back against the wall and carefully peeking out through the curtains, looking almost bored. He shrugged. “Gee, who knows? Someone would think that you banished your sister for a thousand years or something.”

Luna turtled her head in-between her shoulders, avoiding Princess Celestia’s guilt ridden stare. “ ‘Tis not an easy thing to know that your freedom can be taken in the blink of an eye and trapped within a box in what could easily be somepony’s whim, sister. Rarity knows of your character, but all know that anger changes a pony. Nopony’s seen you angry, not even I. Thus fear comes when sin becomes revealed, and your ponies tremble.”

“Luna…”

“Rarity, sister. We’re talking about Rarity at the moment,” Luna reminded her of the unicorn still cowering at her hooves.

Princess Celestia sighed tiredly. Golden magic wreathed around Rarity, forcing her to stand up with a gentleness that was always surprising to come from such a powerful magic user. “Rarity,” Princess Celestia explained slowly, “I am not angry nor upset by what you wrote. It was a personal… recreation of yours, and it is obvious that you never meant for it to be read by anypony, least of all me. If there is anypony that needs to make apologies, that is me.”

Rarity could hardly believe her good luck. She stammered, not sure what she going to say other than gush out formless thanks, almost on the verge of tears. She apologized profusely, despite what the Princess claimed.

“If you do not mind,” Luna interjected softly, “I would be extremely interested in having a copy once you complete it. It was wonderful.”

“You- You are not mad? Or are you?” she added so quietly that nopony heard her. Rarity could believe Princess Celestia, but Luna? She had after all been one of the… primary protagonists and a lot of focus had been put on her... ahem, explorations and reactions.

Luna gapped in disbelief. “You must be jesting. It was so out of character it was hilarious from beginning to end. I honestly can’t wait for more!”

That… stung actually. Granted, it was kinda the point when she was writing it. Fictitious characters only superficially resembling the original, but that was because she wanted to explore a direction that otherwise wouldn’t be possible, and it chaffed that her work was so easily demoted to comedy. “Th- Thank you, Luna. And… I’m sorry for your mane. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

Raegdan stopped staring outside through a thin gap in the curtains, and turned to Rarity instead, his hand doing an impatient, wheeling motion. Rarity’s eyes followed the point of the fingers, trying to decipher the meaning for a few seconds.

“What?” she finally asked.

“‘What?’ she says. Are you joking?” Raegdan asked, exasperated. “You set me on fire! Where’s my apology?”

“Oh. Of course, how silly of me.” Rarity waved her tail to get rid of any errant dust that may have stubbornly stuck on it, and sat back on the couch. “Do tell me first… Whose idea was to have my property stolen?”

Luna’s hoof sold Raegdan out at once.

“I fucking jumped into a Leviathan’s throat for you, you traitor.”

Twilight cleared her throat. “Rarity makes a good point. You do kinda… bring these outcomes on yourself. It’s not the first time you’ve had that exact thing happen to you.”

“Okay, now you’re kinda reaching out too far,” Raegdan said as he made his way across the room and to the window across. He carefully pushed aside the edge of the curtains. Princess Celestia rolled her eyes at the overdone display Raegdan was doing of massaging his lower back in the meantime.

“Although… You may have a point,” he finally admitted. He slowly rotated his torso while a series of cracking sounds filled the room.

"You are overreacting as usual,” Princess Celestia deadpanned, “and nopony is buying it. It’s not the first time I slept like that."

"Yeah, but," Raegdan groaned as he straightened up and starting working on his stiff neck, "that was before. Now that you don’t have me to run after, you finally have more time for other activities. Your chefs went, ‘we can improve her. Bigger. Fatter. We have the cakeology!’ "

In Rarity's humble opinion, as much as the uncouth, insulting, cheating, dirty-deed stallion deserved it, a series of slaps with metal shoes and Alicorn strength was a smidgen too close on the overreact side of the scale, playful as they may have been meant to be. They certainly sounded painful, despite Raegdan’s wicked smile. Not that this stopped Rarity from not-so-discreetly kicking his shin as he stepped closer to her, miserable little ringleader of a bunch of thieves that he was!

“Have you taken anything else from any of our friends?” Rarity asked when the pair calmed down. Raegdan retreated away from Celestia and back to where he stood before, far closer to Luna who had hunched behind her hooves and laughed alongside him.

“They did,” Twilight said, appearing pleased with how the situation rolled out despite the surprising apparent violence coming even from Princess Celestia herself. Rarity chalked it up to familiarity. “Apparently you all were part of a ‘stealth training’. They had each team visit on of you and get something from your place that was either important or not simply laid out for the taking. I suppose I can see why you were the targets. It would be easier to explain all that to you rather than somepony random.” Purple magic levitated a brown hat between them. “Apparently, Applejack will be looking for her hat now.”

“She won’t be happy when she finds out,” Rarity needlessly said. “What did they take from the others?”

“Let’s see…” Twilight looked into the kitchen and her magic brought out two items. “The Young Flyers Award from Rainbow Dash, and this golden covered tome from Fluttershy.” Twilight rotated the heavy book around, examining it from all sides. “No title. I might have taken a read, but after seeing what yours turned out to be I chose not to. It might be something personal as well. Though it did seem to have some cobwebs on it, but then again, in Fluttershy’s home...”

“Yes, yes, a wise choice, darling,” Rarity said, fighting off the blush. “Pinkie Pie’s belongings escaped unscathed then?”

Raegdan’s attention turned from the two sisters to them. “Leaf Stream’s team went for her place, but they screwed it up so I had them get something from Fluttershy instead.” He reached behind the couch, stretching as far as he could to reach down to the other end. He got back up holding something green and wide eyed. “All they brought was a stuffed animal. That didn’t count, of course.”

Twilight gasped. “Raegdan, that’s Gummy, Pinkie’s pet! He’s not a stuffed animal, he’s alive.”

Raegdan turned the tiny alligator around, bringing him closer to his face for a better look. “Oh crap. Was it always dead or did Leaf Stream screw it up? I swear, it wasn’t my fault. I threw it behind the couch gently. It barely bounced, and it wasn’t moving even before that, you gotta tell little pink!”

“He isn’t dead! We’ve got to bring him back to Pinkie Pie!”

Raegdan tilted his head, still examining the quiet animal.“Are you sure? I still think we should bury it, you know, on the quiet side, and tell her after a couple of days. This crappy, little thing doesn’t even blink—”

Gummy’s mouth opened and closed like a mousetrap, catching Raegdan’s nose with a loud crunch.

“Again, darling, I’m very, very sorry for upsetting you all today. And for my atrocious behaviour.”

“It’s fine, Rarity. The fault lies more with me. I should have warned you or done something before you came in. I just couldn’t think of what.”

“That’s alright, forgiven as well. Mmm… Do you think it might be possible that we all forget about everything, including sensitive contents of the written form, and not mention them to any of our friends? Please don’t tell Rainbow Dash. Or Applejack. Please. I’ll drown myself rather than be forced to hear their guffawing.”

“What about Fluttershy?” Twilight teased.

“Oh, I’ll tell her in good time myself. I’ll need an editor if a Princess will be reading it after all.”

Twilight said her goodbyes to her friend, escorting her out. She urged Rarity to go have a lie down and rest, which the usually workaholic seamstress agreed to, clutching her manuscript closer to heart with her magic.

She closed the front door after she made sure Rarity was able to walk off fine, though slowly, still worried for her friend after her genuine faint. Raegdan had moved to another window, looking agitated somehow, and looking out and around him in a manner that distressingly reminded Twilight of how he acted after he had gotten a concussion. Unsure in what he was doing, where he was, and why. She hoped it was simply a case of nerves after realizing how upset Rarity had gotten because of their actions.

Princess Celestia was talking with Luna, both sisters sharing the couch. “I’m going to be off now,” Princess Celestia said to Luna. “I don’t know if I’ll have time to come back another time, but I will attempt to. Do you need anything from me before I go, Luna?”

“No, sister. I believe myself capable of contesting with the ravages and treacheries of Ponyville, I assure you.”

“If you want, I can arrange some reparations to Rarity for what happened—”

“That won’t be needed,” Luna said, smiling in the face of her sister’s anxiety. “If I have judged her correctly, come evening she will be far more devastated over the damage she has done to my mane. I will simply offer her to escort me at the spa again to have it undone, and we will put this incident behind us.”

Princess Celestia’s lips curved in a joyful, motherly smile, but not the one she usually wore. This was more relaxed and there was a subtlety in it. “It is good to see you have friends, Luna.”

‘I’m… unsure if this is what it is.” Luna lowered her head, hiding her face behind her mane in a manner eerily similar to Fluttershy. “I’m not quite sure if- if we have this kind of… of a rapport.”

“Then perhaps you can make sure you build one on this next spa visit you will spend together,” Princess Celestia said, getting up. “I’ll see you soon, Luna, or at Canterlot if I don’t make it. Love you.” She nuzzled her blushing sister for a few seconds before turning aside.

“Raegdan,” Princess Celestia said as she passed the biped by. “A few words before I leave?”

“ ‘Sod off’?”

“Drôle,” Princess Celestia said, fighting a smile. She stopped before the exit, and she hadn’t noticed that Twilight was close enough to overhear in the quiet of the Library. Neither could Raegdan spot Twilight, covered by the bulk of Princess Celestia as she stood in front of him.

“Are you and Luna doing alright?” Princess Celestia asked, concern returning to her voice. “Has there been anything I should know about? Some new attempt, any words against her, anything?”

Raegdan straightened up, his seriousness returning. “No. Everything’s been quiet. We’re doing quite well actually. We even met a couple of ponies while we were leaving Canterlot that wanted to tell her that they loved her and some stupid stuff about the moon. Anything in your front? I don’t suppose those griffins decided to talk while we are gone?”

“Unfortunately not. And no, your request is still denied. Even if you only want to scare them into talking, this kind of rumor will reflect much worse on Luna if word gets out. I’m afraid it would do more damage than good. I’m starting to think they simply have nothing to trade for their freedom.”

“Or they are fanatics. They certainly sounded like that. Dead certain they were on the right.” Raegdan sighed, rubbing his neck. “Familiar. Whatever. Dead end. Don’t need them. We’ll figure something else out. Crucible?”

“He sent me a message yesterday, actually. He was asking how large the Lunar Guard is supposed to become. He’s being cautious in his own way, but I do not believe he is planning anything. He’s too upfront.” Princess Celestia stayed silent for a second, her gaze switching from Raegdan to Luna and back. “How are you and Luna doing?”

Raegdan slightly shook his head. “I thought we were already covering that.”

“No, I mean how are you and Luna doing? Both of you? Personally? Are you okay? How are you doing with Twilight and Spike?”

Raegdan returned Princess Celestia’s stare with a softness in his eyes that hadn’t been there for some time. “Good. Everything’s been going… pretty good actually. You were right about this little break after all.”

It didn’t seem weird to Twilight that Princess Celestia was the originator of the idea. The fact that Raegdan accepted it without apparently too much fuss was. She wasn’t about to complain though. So far everything had been going great, and Spike had seldom been prouder or happier.

“I usually am,” Princess Celestia proudly proclaimed.

“Yeah, yeah. All hail wise Celestia, blessed be her huge backside,” Raegdan mocked good naturedly. He placed his hand on Princess Celestia’s neck, shaking her a little in a friendly way. “Shame you can’t stay a little longer. Come on, blow them all off and stick with us today, what do you say? You can throw the blame on me if they ask. Tell them I kidnapped the princess.”

“I can’t. But I’ll try to be back. It has been great, even with all the excitement at the end.”

Raegdan chuckled. “Like the good, old days, huh?”

Twilight’s breath hitched when she heard that. Raegdan was right, it had been quite like it used to, and Princess Celestia had enjoyed every second of it. Twilight wondered how. Twilight was feeling the responsibility that Princess Celestia must have surely felt every day to make sure that nopony got hurt, that nothing went wrong, and it was running her ragged every time. She always knew Princess Celestia was patient, but she wondered if there was more than that.

“Like how every day could be,” Princess Celestia said, likewise bringing her hoof on Raegdan’s shoulder. “It’s up to you both if they are or not. We are all going to be around. Just remember you have a place to come back to when you’re out there, and that we all love you. Don’t do the same mistakes, Raegdan.”

Raegdan put his hand over Princess Celestia’s hoof on his shoulder. “I’ll try not to. We both will.”

“And keep my sister safe, will you? I’m trusting you with her life.”

“Same here. Look after her as well from your side, alright? I don’t want to see anything happening to Luna because you were dozing off.”

Princess Celestia nodded, opening the door with her magic. “We both will then. I’ll see you all again. I’m already late as it is. Court is about to begin.” She looked around, the golden crown on her head glinting in the sunlight coming through the open door, until she spotted Twilight standing behind her. “Ah, Twilight. I expect to hear from you soon enough. Your letters are always an oasis of rest among my straining workload,” she said, lowering down to briefly hug Twilight.

“Of course, Princess,” she replied after the all too short contact.

Raegdan stepped out the door first. “I suppose I should pretend I have manners and escort you all the way out.”

“‘Manners’,” Princess Celestia scoffed, following after him. She was about to say more, perhaps tease him some more or ask a question, but was interrupted by the sharp landing of two spears impaling the soft ground between her and Raegdan as they stood right outside the library’s door.

Twilight stood, frozen almost, at the shadow of the threshold, her eyes locked on the still trembling top of the makeshift wall that separated Princess and alien. So focused she was on the vibrating, metal spike at the back end of the spear closest to her, that she almost failed to note Princess Luna coming to stand next to her. Luna’s coat almost darkened, as if she was hiding in that sharp contrast between light and shadow, almost unnoticed even from so close.

“Step away from Princess Celestia and kneel on the ground!”
The loud order came almost instantly and as sharp as the weapons in front of Twilight. Her eyes jumped, and only now noticed the ten Solar guards arrayed across, positioned in front of the short hedges where she bet they must have had been hiding. Two of them missed their spears, but eight more still had their own in their hooves. Some of them were held by forelegs, but most were gripped by rippling magic. All of them aimed at Raegdan.

“Oh, for the love of… This is exactly why I can never have a moment to myself…” Princess Celestia lamented, covering her eyes with her leg. “Captain Vigilant, order your guards to stand down, please.”

“I’m sorry, Princess Celestia, but I will have to refuse your order for the sake of your own protection. Considering your sudden absence and how dangerous—Drop your weapon and back away from the princess!” The most decorated pony in the middle of the group started shouting again in alarm.

“You know, there are idiots, and then there are these idiots,” Raegdan almost laughed as he brandished one of the spears right under Princess Celestia’s neck. “Hmm. Good grip. Sturdy. Shame it doesn’t come on my size. But not bad as a javelin I guess, though a little heavy.”

“Raegdan, what are you doing?” Princess Celestia asked in a tired tone.

The biped pressed the tip a little stronger against Princess Celestia’s skin. “Making a point,” he said gleefully before resting the butt of the spear back on the ground and turned disinterestedly back to watch the gnashing guards who just witnessed him bite their Princess’ vulnerable throat with a weapon.

“Raegdan,” Twilight whispered urgently from behind him. “They are serious. Look at them! Put it down.”

Her adopted father turned his head, always too much in order to get her in sight of his working eye. There was nothing but pure, scathing, dark humor in its depths and the toothy grin he displayed. “Want to see something really cool?” he whispered back.

“No,” Twilight honestly answered. She was afraid that it would turn out to be him imitating a pincushion.

Raegdan suddenly took a step towards the Solar guards. They all flinched for a moment, but their training took over and their weapons flexed in their grip, ready to attack their opponent. Princess Celestia had called out for her guards to stop and for Raegdan to get back, but she was ignored by both sides. The guards, either by purpose or because they kept their focus entirely on the dangerous biped stalking towards them. Raegdan, because he never actually obeyed an order, why would he start now? Instead, the Princess watched, her features forbidding and the sense of her muscles bunching up to move at any moment.

Raegdan’s pace was familiar. Slow. Methodical. Each step after the other only once the one before it was solidly on the ground, shoulders moving in greater arcs than normal, demanding silently for attention lest the measured progress explode in a flurry of action the moment eyes turned away.

It reminded Twilight terribly of the time he walked off to face Steadfast Ray. She remembered all too vividly how that ended. She was on the verge of screaming herself at all of them as well, and only the fact that she doubted they would listen to her when they ignored the Princess stopped her. Raegdan wasn’t even wearing his armor. He was being insane! Every logic part of her told her that it would only take a single pony deciding he had enough and Raegdan could die.

She should have teleported in front of him, but fear that her sudden appearance might spook one the sides into action held her still.

The Solar Guard captain had been shouting non-stop at Raegdan to cease walking. You could hear Raegdan chuckling, louder the more he approached them.

Raegdan stopped halfway to them. He raised the spear over his head, held horizontally and gripped by the mid-point. Twilight couldn’t see his face, but she could imagine him almost perfectly, teeth bared like a wolf anticipating a meal. Enjoying himself and the smell of fear around him.

“Do I have all your attention?” he breathed questioningly, his voice booming in the silence of the ghost that had descended on the small open area.

The captain of the Solar guards almost growled. “On my mark…” he said, sweat dripping down his chin. His eyes flinched from the Princess to Raegdan. Twilight could almost read his thoughts. Attack now, and he’s gone. Attack now, and he’s gone. Attack now, and the princess will be safer, even if she doesn’t agree. Attack now...

Raegdan tilted his head, waiting patiently for the guards to prepare themselves, ignoring Princess Celestia gathering magic on her horn behind him. “Now, watch how my kind does magic tricks.”

Raegdan let the spear fall. It took forever to land and it was over before Twilight had noticed his palm had spread open. There was the distinct lack of a clutter of metal as it met the short grass and rolled lazily towards the guards.

A mass of bladed instruments appeared, hovering next to the throats and heads of the Solar guards. A long axe, sharp and deadly was held by Solid Charge, it’s edge glinting near the Solar captain’s eye. The minotaur looked almost twice his normal size in the dark armor that covered him, and far more intimidating, the bleakness of his arms matching his tone.

“You all either drop down or we drop you down. Princess Celestia gave an order.”

The guards did as bidden, the captain letting his weapon drop first. Princess Celestia was fuming in anger as she made her way to them, unlike Raegdan who couldn’t have looked more pleased. He had the smile of a drunk on his lips, and his shoulders stood high with pride.

“I love that trick,” he said aloud as Princess Celestia passed him by. He had picked up the spear he had dropped and yelled at her back as she headed for the disobeying guards, Twilight hot on her heels. “Hey, I’m keeping both of these, okay? Finders keepers!”

“Would you mind explaining yourself, captain Vigilant?” Princess Celestia spat, any semblance of her usual smile having abandoned her face with haste. “Please, grace me with an explanation of why my orders are so blatantly ignored when you feel like it.”

“Princess, we feared you in danger,” the pony said. He made an attempt to stand, but the edge of an axe against the back of his neck told him not to. “Better to be wrong a hundred times than right once and not be there. We only seeked to defend you.”

Princess Celestia’s voice was getting louder and louder, her patience thinning as she drove herself to greater fervor. “By throwing your spears inches away from me? And what if Twilight or somepony else had gotten in their path? And “defend” me from whom? From Raegdan? My friend, my sister’s guard, my—”

“Princess, please,” the captain interrupted the princess, daring the axe and raised his head.
“We cannot be sure. He’s already attacked you once, and for all we knew, Nightmare Moon took you again or poisoned your mi—”

There was no blast, no manifestation of magic, Just a crunching feeling in Twilight’s head that spoke of immense power. The next thing she knew the Solar guard captain was plastered on the trunk of Twilight’s house. His pupils had rolled to the back of his head, and his tongue flopped listlessly outside his jaw. He fell down with a dull thud, luckily falling on his side rather than his front, and didn’t bite through his tongue.

“I believed I had already made myself clear on the matter of such accusations against my fellow Diarch and sister,” Princess Celestia hissed. Her eyes glew with magic, a barely visible white fog wafting off them as she examined the suddenly far more cowering guards in front of her, Solar and Lunar alike. Her mane was whipping across her face in a frenzy, caught in a gale that only she felt.

“Release them,” she ordered after a few seconds of uncertain silence, barely sparing a glance for the minotaur Lunar Commander as she did so. The massed Lunar guards hastened to obey, taking a few hurried steps back as well for good measure.

Princess Celestia was slowly calming down, but her eyes and voice still carried a burning threat. “Gather up the civilian, and take him back to Canterlot,” she ordered the Solar guards. “Hospital wing first, then the dungeon. You will all accompany him, in neighboring cells, until I call for you to explain yourselves to my satisfaction. One. By. One. Do you comprehend me? Do these orders reach your ears?”

It only took minutes before the Solar guards vanished from sight, and Princess Celestia was able to relax her posture. Raegdan chose that moment to congratulatory slap her on the back, making her flinch. “Good throw. You know, just a little more to the left and you could have avoided this whole thing. There was a very good, thick branch there. Just a tweak, and hrrk.” He imitated a blood-gurgling sound.

“You are an awful influence,” Princess Celestia said, but not without a small hiccup of amusement that almost sounded like a small sob, and the shy return of a smile. “Where is Luna?” she asked, growing disquiet again. “Did she witness any of this?”

“All of it,” Raegdan proudly informed her. He leaned towards Princess Celestia’s head and whispered theatrically. “She’s in the library and squealing in joy over you standing up for her, but pretend you don’t know. She’ll be embarrassed.” His smile was infectious, and it spread to Princess Celestia at once.

It was exactly the pick-me-up Princess Celestia needed. She turned to Solid Charge and the rest of the Lunar Guard who waited patiently nearby instead. “I’m surprised you are all here. I believed this was a vacation for all of you. I didn’t expect to see you all in guard duty at the… same time…” She frowned. “Alright. What is happening here?”

“Nothing suspicious, Princess,” Solid Charge rushed to answer. “We keep two of us around at all times, but it was Raven—” He pointed towards a Diamond Dog in armor that barely bent his head in acknowledgement, “— that caught a, ah, whiff of something going on. We decided it would be better to be ready to intervene, just in case.”

“Hmm. I have to commend you on your skills and timing. I’m surprised my guards didn’t catch on to you.”

“It was easy,” Solid Charge said, rubbing the back of his neck. “They were all really focused on the library, so we just took position behind them. Then they were giving all their attention to Raegdan so we got closer.”

Princess Celestia turned to Raegdan almost accusingly. “You knew they were there.”

Raegdan shrugged. “Well, duh. They were hiding from your guards, not from us. Not my fault you’re half blind in your age. Which reminds me, you morons did the same mistake the idiots did. You didn’t have anyone checking your back. Amateurs,” he grumbled. “Still, good enough. For starters of course.”

Celestia laughed, finally restored to a better mood once more. “Oh, your poor, poor guards. I wish I could stay even more than I did before, but unfortunately…” She sighed. “It seems I now have more things to do than a few minutes ago.”

Twilight downed a glass of water in one go. She dabbed at her chin with a small towel as she looked at a clock on the wall. “Today has been quite the full day, and it’s not even noon yet.”

“It’s not over yet, you know,” Raegdan said. He was sitting on the kitchen table, examining Gummy. He was prodding and poking the tiny alligator, trying to find a way to make him react and failing. Twilight had to wrestle a fork away from him at one point, and she positioned herself near the rest of the cutlery. Just in case.

Luna was sitting across Raegdan, enthralled in a staring contest with the indifferent creature. Neither of them had blinked for quite some time, and Twilight had started getting weirded out a little.

“You are lucky they didn’t launch their spears at you while you were walking up to them,” Twilight reminded Raegdan, the image still refusing to leave her brain. She had been genuinely worried for a second there. It was like he was inviting them to kill him.

“What were you thinking?” she asked after a moment.

Raegdan was flicking Gummy’s head repeatedly, but Pinkie’s pet ignored him entirely. “That Celestia can cast a magic shield in front of me in less time than it would take for them to finish blinking?” He glanced at her in amusement. “What, did you think I’m that stupid?”

“No. No, of course not,” Twilight quickly said, biting her lip. “It just, you know… Kinda looked dangerous?” she finished lamely.

“Mmm… Well, as long as they focus on me...” Raegdan mumbled before he slapped his palms on the table and rose up, the sudden noise unable to disrupt the two combatants in front of him. “Alright. Since we have to give everything back to their owners, including this… hmm… whatever this is—”

“Alligator,” Twilight helped.

“Debatable. Anyway, since I made a day out for Spike yesterday it’s only fair that I make one for you too. What do you say we go together? You can show me around and everything! Just like you told Applejack back in Canterlot, remember?”

“I do,” Luna supplied, not turning away from her foe. “It was while Raegdan and I were busy kicking each other and you were waiting outside with Applejack.”

Twilight felt her face flushing red, and she scrambled around to fill another glass of water she didn’t want. “Y-Y heard me?”

Raegdan grinned. “Well, Luna was pummeling the door with my face at the moment so I was close enough. So? What do you say?”

“I believe you should accept, Twilight Sparkle. I would like to hear about your day when you are done though,” Luna said in a carefully neutral tone.

Twilight swivelled around, feeling a stab of loneliness accompany memory. How many times had she uttered similar words when her friends were planning a fun day or activity and they hadn’t specifically invited her? Because it never passed their mind to think that Twilight considered herself not included without directly told so. It took a few times until she outgrew that false belief, but she clearly remembered how she felt every time. Alone.

“Why? You’re not coming?” Twilight said as innocently as she could, the words carefully phrased in her mind. And they worked. Luna abandoned her game to look at Twilight with badly hidden surprise.

Raegdan kneeled down to reach Twilight’s level. “So, is that a yes?”

Twilight blushed, and uttered a very, very quiet, “yes,” feeling like a filly that had to be coaxed into doing what she wanted, no, dreamed of doing anyway. “Yes, we can have… a day together,” she repeated louder, becoming slightly giddy.