On the outskirts of Ponyville, one librarian and a baby dragon sat on the recently born, green spring grass, supposedly watching the acrobatic skills of a cyan pegasus with a rainbow mane and tail that was already on the third repeat of her repertoire. The winged pony cut lazy turns on the sky, her fervor for warmer weather long exhausted, as well as any pretense of having more tricks to show.

Spike turned to another page of the newspaper he was holding, not even bothering to pretend that he paid attention anymore. He read for a few moments before smiling and announcing, “Dad’s in the newspaper again.”

Twilight kept her eyes on her flying friend, because good friends support each other despite how inexorably bored to tears one may be or unsure of what’s the difference between a barrel roll or aileron roll or why it matters, but it was pure mechanical motion by now. She had been making mental checklists for over an hour now, proceeding from her household chores all the way to experiments she wanted to run in the next half year. Her assistant’s laughing voice was enough to pull her away from imaginary quills scratching imaginary ink on imaginary paper.

“Is the article about him or the Lunar Guard?” Twilight asked. Most times so far it had turned out to be nothing more than a mere mention of his name. Twilight was quite impressed with his record of relative quietness so far.

Spike switched between two pages, his eyes sparkling with barely contained laughter. “Both. There are two articles. Okay, the first one is about the Lunar Guard. Somewhat. There was an explosion in a forest near Coldhoove village, west of Canterlot.”

“Oh Celestia. Another one? What did they blow up this time?”

“Uhhh…” Spike hesitated for a bit, his little claw following the text lines. “Apparently we will have to wait ‘till we know. It was a nest of some big nasty stuff, but the Royal Guard has problems telling the pieces apart. Yuck.” He stuck his forked tongue out in disgust.

Twilight leaned over to see the article for herself for a moment, hoping there might have been a rare picture of the Lunar guards. “At least they are far more practical than I expected. This honestly wasn’t how I expected their vaunted monster hunting to go. There weren’t any injuries this time, were there?”

“Nah. Come on, Twilight, that was a one time thing. Or two. Dad wrote back that the guards learned to watch for shrapnel from the monsters exploding, and he’s promised to warn them from now on for this kind of stuff.”

“I still wonder how they manage to get them all with one blast every single time,” Twilight pondered loudly, rubbing her chin. “How do they bring them all close enough?”

“I still wonder why I bother if neither of you pay attention,” Rainbow grumbled, suddenly hovering behind Twilight and making her scream in fright.

“I’m really sorry, Rainbow, that was—”

Said pony waved her hoof nonchalantly. “Eh, don’t sweat it. I think that’s long enough anyway,” she said, checking the sun’s position for some reason.

Spike’s face popped around the newspaper, his left eyebrow arching in suspicion. “Long enough for what?”

“How they get them all with one boom, right?” Rainbow Dash repeated Twilight’s question loudly, changing the subject at once. “Yeah, I asked the same. See, they look for something big enough first that monsters might find tasty, and then shove it full with—”

Spike’s tongue made a reappearance and Twilight’s joined in for a double chorus of “eeugh”.

“We get the picture,” Spike interrupted, putting up the newspaper again as a shield. “Well, there’s not much else here about them. It’s the usual puffing by the Solar Guard and how they don’t need to resort to such trickery.” Spike chuckled. “Heh, last paragraph mentions how they petitioned Princess Celestia for access to these ‘trickery tactics and weapons’ again.”

“Sounds like some ponies don’t want their jobs taken from them,” Rainbow Dash said, scratching herself absently until Twilight knocked the offending wing away. “Though they are the only ones who care. Well, them and the ponies on their side who try to keep score. Princess Luna and the rest don’t bother jotting down what they kill or making announcements every time they bring a timberwolf down.”

“Shame. Dad would win,” Spike remarked.

“Spike!” Twilight immediately scolded. “Princess Luna is doing the right thing. These monsters are hurting ponies. Their job is to stop them, not turn it into a counting game and forget what they are supposed to be doing! That’s why Princess Celestia is driving the Solar Guard and the Royal Guard so hard once more after being so lenient in their duties.”

“Okay, okay, jeez.” Spike leaned conspiratorially towards Rainbow Dash, putting a palm over his mouth. “I bet you that Dad and Princess Luna totally know how many they got, they just got the rest of the Lunar Guard to pretend they don’t care to get the Solar Guard mad.”

Rainbow Dash agreed with a snicker.

Twilight eyeballed the chuckling pair, but chose not to comment. “What’s the second article about, Spike?”

“Oh, right.” Spike turned to the proper section and reread it for a few seconds. “Oh, the Lunar Guard met up with the Wonderbolts!”

“Really?” Rainbow Dash tried to get a peek at the paper, but Spike kept turning aside. “Are there any pictures? Darn it, why wasn’t I there?”

“You quit months ago,” Twilight reminded her. It had been quite a surprise for all her friends. Nopony had expected that. Rainbow Dash had come back with a tale of shapeshifting monsters that chilled them to the bone, and seemed to be coasting on a surge of adrenaline that would never end as she repeated the bloody fight over and over.

Twilight wondered if she’d ever have the chance to study the skull they found or if any hope of that happening was already gone.

Then came a letter from Canterlot asking Rainbow if she wanted to come along at the next expedition. Rainbow Dash scribbled a hasty answer, had Spike send it immediately, and then burned all her camping gear before the hour was out.

Spike cleared his throat. “Anyway, there’s a lot of small stuff here, but here is the good news: Spitfire is fine and there’s no reason to stay in the hospital at all.”

“What? Why was she in the hospital?” Rainbow Dash yelled.

“Raegdan?” Twilight betted.

“Yep. Dad kicked her head,” Spike deadpanned.

“Why?” Dash demanded, incredulous.

Spike checked. “Because Soarin ducked.”

“Why’d he kick—”

“Let it go, Rainbow,” Twilight advised. “His foot often says hello to guards and soldiers. He doesn’t like them at all. I guess that the Wonderbolts were similar enough to them for him. Spike and I are going to head home. Would you like to come along?”

Rainbow Dash hid a smirk behind her hoof, setting Twilight’s prank alarm off. The proud pegasus had planned something. “Nah, I’m gonna head to Applejack’s farm.”

“To wait for her to come back?” Spike asked, finally turning to the funny pages with a sigh of happiness.

“Yeah. If she isn’t back in a few hours I’ll go look for her.”

Twilight laid a hoof on Rainbow’s shoulder. “You worry about her.” Rainbow Dash had changed this last year. Her protectiveness of everypony had increased, while her hothead attitude had certainly diminished.

Rainbow Dash rubbed her front leg with a hoof, looking to the side, in the general direction that Applejack had gone. “Kinda. She travels down some rough roads, and I know that she comes back from every trip all tired and smiling... but what if there’s a day that she doesn’t come back, and I don’t think it’ll be from defending Granny Smith’s pies from bandits.”

Spike had let the newspaper spread on his legs, and his voice was shaky. “Is it really that dangerous? Applejack is going to be okay, right?”

“Nah. She’ll be okay.” Rainbow ruffled Spike’s head. “We’re just worrying over nothing. Applejack’s too tough, Spike. She’s been doing her route for a long time now. Okay, I’m off. Later, Twilight. And you’re welcome.”

Twilight narrowed her eyes. “... For what?”

Rainbow winked. “You’ll see.” And with that she was off, putting on one of her trademark bursts of speed and vanishing towards Sweet Apple Acres.

The baby dragon waved his claws towards Twilight in resemblance of a spooky narrator. “Oooh, ominous, ooooh…”

Twilight rolled her eyes. She got up and discreetly shook her bum to get rid of any grass blades as well as the pins and needles she felt. She levitated Spike on her back and started trotting back to Ponyville.

She gazed up at the sky again as they neared the small town. It was way past noon, the ponies of the town already settling into their routine of a lazy, warm afternoon, eager to put all memories of the winter’s cold behind them. Twilight had wasted—spent a lot more time with Rainbow than she had planned.

She wasn’t entirely out of it. Twilight did notice that a few ponies were forming wells of conversation, but she didn’t care enough to find out what today’s gossip was. Chances were she would meet Rarity tomorrow and know each and every version, whether she wanted to or not. Right now what mattered most was getting her research in high gear.

Twilight had meant to start looking into law books and legal regulations for days… No, scratch that, months now. But something always came up, didn’t it? And if it didn’t she always had something else take priority first. It was weird how her mind worked lately. She wanted to care for her family in the coming trial and she ignored it in favor of looking into historic details that nopony cared for instead or some other triviality.

“Huh. Sugarcube Corner seems to be full. Do you know any of these ponies, Twilight?” Spike asked, but Twilight barely registered him.

A trial that I’m going to set off, she thought. Not for the first time she wondered if she could find the strength to do such a thing. She wondered if she should. She found it very hard to decide if that would be right or wrong. Especially since… She sighed quietly, not wanting to alert Spike that something was wrong. What would happen to her mom? She was involved as well. She was an accomplice.

“Hey, Twilight, is everypony looking a little worried or is it just me?”

Am I hesitating because it isn’t right or because I don’t want to do such a thing to ponies I love in favor of what were almost certainly abominable criminals? She didn’t know, and that was probably why she would tell Princess Celestia everything. Truth had to be the right thing in the end, especially if you weren’t sure.

“Twilight? Do you see this?”

She wasn’t sure, and thus needed advice from… from… she needed to compile a list of transitional spells and make a few tests of her own before she contacted Princess Celestia. If she could figure out a way to halt the effect on a percentile ratio and apply it to certain materials then they might be able to create new combinations that are simply not possible otherwise, like wood with properties of iron or…

Okay, she wanted to ask Princess Celestia something else as well, but what was it again? Well, she could think of it after she finished this. Did she have any paper on her to jot down—

“Twilight!” Spike yelled, pulling her out of her thoughts.

“What is it, Spike?” Twilight asked, already getting lost among book titles and memorized indexes.

“I think we got evicted.”

And pop the bubble goes! Twilight’s head whipped straight up, finally seeing what she was looking at. The Ponyville Library—her home—had its door wide open, but that wasn’t what alarmed her. What alarmed her was the sight of tables, chairs, furniture, and most of all, humongous stacks of books—her books!—out on the ground, barely protected by the harsh elements of the moderate spring day with the aid of some tarps and boxes.

“They threw out my books!” Twilight gasped.

“Well, they put most of them in boxes,” Spike noted, surprisingly docile. “And the books actually belong to—”

“ME! They are my books! Mine!”

“Okay, jeez, don’t bite.”

“Who did this?” she growled, her teeth grinding fiercely and audible enough that Spike covered his sensitive ears with his hands. “I will make them rue the day!”

“We could ask at the Mayor’s office if—”

“RUE!” Twilight snapped, charging into the library, ready to knock some heads, tie some limbs together, and perform impromptu experiments on the flexibility of spines!

Spike’s claws dug into Twilight’s coat, holding himself on her back through the sudden sprint. “Or we can do that instead, why not?”

Twilight ran through the door, a sparkling orb of magic ready to bolt at however many ransackers there were, feeling vindicated on everything terrible she was going to inflict by the sight of an encyclopedia left to fend for itself on the cold, cruel grass. The sight of her beloved home totally bare only served to infuriate her further.

A roar of pain sounded only moments afterwards.

Applejack took her hat off her head. Then, very slowly and very carefully, she peeked around the side of the tree trunk she was huddling behind. Her usual path lay ahead, and besides the swaying branches, what little grass lived here, and the puffs of smoke and fire that rose from the ground, nothing else moved.

“Alright. Seems this place is all chimera free fer now,” she commented to herself. She placed her hat back on her head, her eyes still scanning the area. She didn’t like this one bit. Her route had been surprisingly menace free the last couple of months, excepting the chimera that tended to put up ambushes here. Perhaps the three-headed monster moved away as well. Her gut feeling told her a different story than her eyes and recent experience however, but she couldn’t stay here forever. Besides, it would be worse when night fell. Probably. She hadn’t been caught out here at night ever before, and she wasn’t in the mood to do so now.

She hitched herself back on her pie cart, feeling much better when she was reminded that the cart was empty, and thus much lighter. She would be able to just breeze through. No problem. She did that all the time. Just a little more and she would be back home in a jiffy.

No sense in getting tired without needing to, though. She kept a low pace that allowed her to keep her guard up. The rattle of the wheels and axle was kept quiet enough that she was certain there was no way that creepy, three headed freak was getting the drop on her. Slow and steady wins the race and all that, ask the tortoise.

A loud thump sounded behind her as four legs landed on the path, accompanied by a deafening tiger’s roar, a goat’s bleating, and the hissing of a snake, her dreaded opponent not meaning to go the sneaky route this time.

Ah, seems like it ain’t in the mood to play hide and seek today, Applejack thought as she clamped her teeth shut so as to block that scream of fright.

One of the heads spoke up. Probably that tiger one. It loved to hear itself talk. “So, little pony, what have you brought me to eat? Your very own succulent flesh—”

Yeah, nope. Nope, nope, nope. Nope. “Sorry, all out of pies, gonna get some more, seey’alllater!” she shouted as her precious hoofsies scorched earth with the acceleration she put on, her cart rattling as if it was shaking itself apart.

“Feed me!” All three heads demanded as the chimera pounced after her.

“You can eat my dust all ya’like, how bout them apples?” Applejack shouted back. That was false bravado of course. The chimera had longer strides, it was more rested than Applejack was after spending a day wandering around the nearby villages, and the chimera wasn’t dragging a gosh-darned cart. The monster would get her -eventually.

Thankfully, the big idiot-times-three had chosen the worst possible place to make its ambushes. Applejack saw the tongue of flame in front of a tree she had memorized go out, and started counting down as she headed for a particular spot. Nine, eight, seven…

Her and the cart were clear. She kept running, getting distance between her and the coming fireworks. Four, three. She glanced back, grinning while she still ran. Here comes the flaming geyser, here comes the annoying cat-goat-snake, here comes the part where the chimera moves to the side and avoids the fire spout…

Oh shoot, it finally learned to avoid that trap! After falling for it only seven times. The chimera was learning fast for its kind, but Applejack wasn’t out of tricks yet. She was running out of breath though, and the next geyser was a little too far away. She pushed herself harder. She was gonna do it. All she had to go was go around that pony that appeared in front of her there, and—What?

Oh come on!

The pony had her back turned to her as Applejack rumbled down the path, but the silhouette of that pointy hat was ticklishly familiar enough. The mare turned around just as Applejack reached her, making her starry cloak soar behind her.

“Fear not, hapless citizen. The Great and Powerful Trixie is here to—oh, it’s you…” The former magician was disappointed.

Applejack was forced to stop. Trixie was positioned right in the middle of the path, blocking her. “We gotta run! A chimera is right behind me!” Applejack warned her.

Trixie walked around Applejack and her cart, still frowning. “Yes, yes, I know, I know. Luckily for you, Trixie is here.”

“Trixie’s gonna become lunch if she ain’t gonna listen to me!” Applejack quickly let go of the cart and grabbed Trixie. “Let’s go, ah’ma ditch the cart and we can make a run for it.”

“Will you please calm down? Trixie is prepared for—” The chimera finally reached them, roaring in delight as it spotted them. “Oh, here’s Trixie’s part. Trixie just adores these goosebumps when her turn on the stage comes.” She turned to Applejack for a moment. “You might want to close your eyes when I tell you to.”

“Ya daft mare, it’s going to—”

“I’ll eat you both!”

“...That!”

Trixie didn’t listen or didn’t care for anything Applejack had to say. She stood up on her hind legs, fluttered the long cape behind her, and tilted her conical hat higher. “Behold!” the showmare shouted. “The fabled spell! Triple Power Word Score: Blind!”

A number of flashes went off in front of each of the chimera’s heads, blinding the monster. The monster’s legs dragged on the dirt as it braked down, stopping its chase only meters away from them. Trixie huffed and hit the ground in dismay.

“Oooh, almost there…” Unbelievingly, she closed more of the distance with the chimera while it was busy shaking its heads, trying to regain its sight. The serpentine head of its tail had almost tied itself in a knot with the way it went left and right.

“Excuse me, could you please not take a couple of steps forward? Stay right where you are or else you might be able to bite Trixie.”

“I got you now, tasty pony!” The goat head crowed in joy, falling for the obvious lie. The chimera jumped ahead blindly, and three sets of jaws gnashed on empty air.

“Thank you.” Trixie bowed. Then she turned to Applejack, bringing her hooves in front of her eyes as she did so. “You should close your eyes as well. I hate this part.”

“What in tarnation—Aaaah!” She wished she had taken Trixie’s advice.

A large log swung on ropes tied somewhere on branches above. Applejack barely had time to see that the end of the big trunk had been cut to a rudimentary point before it half-way vanished into the chimera’s body with a sound like a wet paper towel ripping apart, and launched it away from the path. The chimera folded inwards, looking like crumpled paper in that short time before it vanished out of sight, the torso of the monster almost rippling like water as its bones shattered.

“Is it over?” Trixie asked, her eyes still covered.

“Ah, uh… Ah guess so,” Applejack ventured, gulping to keep the bile down.

She watched as a number of ponies came out of the underbrush, most of them covered in black, dark grey, and silver armor. A few waning moon insignias covered the heavy looking armor, armor that looked way more robust and surprisingly more plain than what she was used to seeing. Applejack was certainly no expect, but it looked thicker than normal though that might be because there seemed to be some kind of brownish layer beneath, and the little hint she got of the edge of the material felt distantly familiar. Everypony wore a dark green, splotched cloak over them that had hidden them amazingly effectively in the underbrush.

“Alright, Breeze and Limit, let’s make sure it’s dead. Blank Slate and Red Dawn, make a couple of rounds, make sure nothing else is here.” Applejack recognized the voice of the mare that gave the orders.

“Leaf Stream?”

Leaf Stream barely glanced at her before continuing on her way to where the chimera had vanished. “Oh, hey, Apples. Nice running. You really know how to shake that tushy. Sorry, can’t talk now. We got a corpse to retrieve. Hey, Trixie, you’re in luck! I think it missed the firepit. It’s all in one piece. Guess who’s getting her armor soon.”

Trixie gagged. “No thank you. Trixie will stick with her old hat and cloak.”

“I’ll let ya talk that out with the boss, let me know how it goes,” Leaf Stream smirked before she vanished. “Now go and escort Apples home. We’ll catch up.”

The two hatted mares exchanged a look. “Mah name is not Apples. It’s Applejack,” The farmer corrected before Trixie could talk.

The cyan mare rolled her eyes. “Of course, how could Trixie forget.” Applejack could only stare as the queen of pots dared to call her a kettle.

Applejack huffed as she got back into position to drag the empty applepie cart. “Ah don’t need an escort. Ah’m heading straight to Ponyville.”

“Trixie will escort you only up to the next town anyway,” Trixie said, following Applejack’s slow pace by her side. “This was Trixie’s team last assignment. We knew we kept missing this chimera. The Lunar Guard is now getting some well-earned vacation.”

“Vacation?”

Trixie nodded. “Princess Celestia’s idea from what I heard. Every few months we’re all to take some time off. Trixie is only too glad for this. Some time to relax will be splendid.”

Applejack swallowed the chuckle before it surfaced. “And y’all vacation at the next town over?” Trixie nodded. “Ya know what the next town’s called?”

Trixie’s pursed her lips, perplexed. “Trixie hasn’t asked actually, but it was Princess Luna’s idea to rest there. She wanted us to stay together for the first year at the very least. I suppose some quiet, backwater…” She noticed Applejack’s shaking mouth as the apple farmer stifled her laughter. “No!”

“Eeyup.”

“But… She’s there! And if Trixie gets there, and she sees Trixie, and Raegdan will be there…” Trixie’s face twisted in terror. “I’m a dead mare!”

When Twilight charged into her ravaged and depressingly empty home, three things happened almost at once.

First, she noticed how everything had been moved out, leaving her usually small yet homey library feel almost cavernous. She noticed the missing planks on the floor, the smell of cut and broken wood, and the wholesale destruction that reigned around her.

Then, she spotted Raegdan and Luna at the other end, near the staircase. All their focus was engrossed in what they were doing, but Luna was positioned just so that she saw Twilight and Spike gallop inside. Luna’s attention wavered, and that lead to the third and final act.

The shift of Luna’s attention wasn’t missed by Raegdan. He looked up and started to turn around. This proved to be his undoing. Twilight and Spike could do naught but watch the tragedy unfold before their eyes.

Raegdan’s hand had shifted too much as he tried to awkwardly turn around enough to see behind him, unable to see with his right eye. It left him vulnerable to the mass of iron. The hammer was already coming down, Luna’s strike already in progress and she could not hope to stop it in time. The blunt metal struck, ignoring the leather armor, smashing flesh and bone, and crunching through the meagre protection of ceratin. The brown leather was immediately tainted with bright red, darkening as its inner side absorbed the precious fluid.

Raegdan released the nail he was holding in position and clutched his pained finger, roaring in pain. “You’re supposed to strike the iron nail, not the fingernail, you little b—”

“Raegdan.” Luna pointed behind him, cutting him off and biting her lips. She, like Raegdan, was covered in wood shavings and sawdust.

Twilight’s adopted father turned around. “Oh! Uh… little beautiful princess, that’s what I was going to say. Hey, Twilight. Hey, little flame.” Raegdan spread his arms, showcasing their empty, half torn home. “Surprise!”

“Dad?”

“Wha- What are you doing here?” Twilight asked aghastly.

Raegdan looked around, then smiled. “I told you, didn’t I? Either you fix your home or I do it for you.”

“How is this fixing?”

Twilight got her first honest glimpse of Raegdan’s hands for the first time ever he came out of Charybdis. After a lot of fussing from Spike, as well as declarations of ‘you don’t trust me?’ and puppy eyes, Raegdan broke down and allowed the baby dragon to bandage his trashed finger.

Spike, to his credit, didn’t comment further than, “It kinda looks like when you stay too long in water,” when he saw his hand. The flesh was discolored, wrinkled, and a small piece of tissue, about the size of a nut, had been removed from the side of his palm, near the thumb. All in all, it looked like somepony went wild on him with a knife and a sharp spoon.

Twilight was worried a little over Spike, but then she figured out that the baby dragon had seen Raegdan get hurt too many times to either worry or let his apprehension show. Spike removed the fingernail shards with a pair of tweezers, then expertly placed a thin gauze over it and bandaged it. Twilight could barely watch the proceedings. She had no idea how Spike and Raegdan kept joking while this view was under their noses.

The unicorn decided to fuss over the kitchen instead. Luckily, nothing in there had been touched so she quickly made four cups of tea, sitting down on the table with her unexpected guests to enjoy.

“Spike, could you go outside and make sure that none of the books are damaged?”

The little dragon obediently slipped off from his seat on Raegdan’s knees. “Sure thing, Twilight. I’ll be right back, Dad.”

Twilight waited until she heard the door leading outside close before she swung back to Raegdan, taking a calming breath. “Not that I am not glad to see you both, but would it have killed you to warn me of this? You remember what I asked you, right? About Spike?”

Raegdan and Luna exchanged a glance; they knew she would say that, Twilight was immediately certain, and right now they were hoping they had the right excuse. “We wanted to surprise you,” Raegdan said. “Warning you wouldn’t let us do that.”

“So instead we sought permission to do as thus from the alternate guardians you had established,” Luna continued.

“Exactly,” Raegdan latched on. “We talked to Celestia and your mum, and they said it would be fine. We got in touch with Rainbow Dash and—”

“Rainbow Dash knew you were coming?” Twilight thought back to Rainbow’s insistence that they both come watch her flying routines even though it was obvious she had barely anything new to show, as well as her not-so-cryptic-now remarks. “And she stalled us!” Twilight bristled.

“Right. We wanted to make sure Spike and you would come back together. See, littl- Twilight? I did as you said, right? I can stick around as long as it’s both of you, right?”

Twilight gave it a moment’s thought; she didn’t expect him doing that. She believed at first that he had decided to barge in and ask for forgiveness instead of permission. What was happening was actually quite unexpected. Now that she thought about it… She searched around, hoping that Spike left his little project laying around again. He did, just like she suspected. She pulled the album to her and opened it at random. Every small mention of the Lunar Guard, Princess Luna, and Raegdan that had been printed in any magazine or newspaper was in here. “I’ve noticed that there hasn’t been anything far-fetched in the newspapers about either of you.”

Luna half hid her face behind her cup. “We… have been doing our best to follow the lessons and advice of you and your friends. It hasn’t been easy, but… we do our best.” She cleared her throat and turned her eyes away. “Our guards have been of great help, and their… I suppose some would call what they do at times insubordination, but they show an amazing amount of initiative and we welcome it.”

“And the sudden stream of weekly letters from both of you, was that their idea as well?” Twilight asked.

“Twilight, I know I should have- It would have been better off if I had thought of doing that a little sooner…” Raegdan said.

“You mean on Spike’s birthday?”

Raegdan nodded, the tightness around what little was shown of his mouth because of the cloth mask betraying his guilt..

“Twilight Sparkle, neither of us has ever had reason to- to send letters or keep in touch.” Luna stepped in again when she saw that Raegdan was going to say nothing more. “We are making amends now though. Surely that won’t weigh against us?”

The girls had told Twilight that they received letters from Raegdan and Luna as well. A lot of times, when they were meeting either at a cafe or at each other’s places, they would bring the latest ones along to let Twilight and Spike know as much as possible as to what was happening in Raegdan’s life. After the initial joy diminished Twilight and the girls couldn’t help but notice how poor their contents were. It was painfully obvious that neither of the two had any experience or idea as to what to write about. Many of their letters were questions like, ‘What’s the best recipe for chocolate biscuits?’ to Pinkie Pie or ‘What goes best with dark blue?’ to Rarity. Truth be told, they reminded Twilight of herself and that humiliating incident when she was certain she just had to send a friendship report to the Princess weekly. It was all too easy to picture both of them sitting opposite each other on a table, wracking their brains over sheets of paper and trying to come up with topics to write about, even matters they cared little about just to keep the conversation flowing.

“Don’t both of you have your duties to attend to instead of ruining my home? What about all these monster like the one Rainbow Dash told us about? Why did Luna come along -no offense, princess- if you…”

Twilight blinked. She leaned toward the Alicorn, seeing the sawdust still clinging on her dark-blue coat like the glazing of a donut, and the black crown atop her head that bared a crescent moon in the center.

Reality registered.

“Why is a princess doing carpentry in my house?” Twilight freaked out.

“Can’t one have a hobby?” The dusty princess joked. “My sister and I have come to an accord, actually. Under her insistence, and that of certain individuals, the Lunar Guard and the two of us are to take a two week vacation every six months at the very least.”

“Which is kind of bullcrap, since she doesn’t do that herself,” Raegdan added. He got up from his chair and stood at the small kitchen’s threshold, peeking towards the main door. “So, short notice, but do you mind if the two of us crash here, Twilight?”

“B- But I don’t have space or a proper room for a princess—I’ve only got one extra bed and it’s in my room!”

“You do have space in the basement. We can stay there. It’s just two weeks after all,” Raegdan insisted.

“We don’t wish to be a nuisance, Raegdan,” Luna told him at once. “We shall find other accommodations for ourselves, much like our guards.”

“No, no! You can stay!” Twilight was getting frazzled. “But I need to find cots, and clean up, and—”

“We will provide for ourselves, Twilight Sparkle,” Luna said, her lips curling in a simple smile while her eyes shined far more brilliantly. “Do you mind if Raegdan leaves us to give Spike the good news?”

“Sure, that’s fine,” Twilight permitted, but was quick to add, ”But no celebrations by dragging each other anywhere! Go help him make sure my books are in good condition.”

Raegdan saluted. “I hear and obey, young lady.” He left the kitchen, and loudly added from the main hall so he could be heard, “Don’t library books actually belong to—”

“Me!” Twilight snapped, hearing him laugh before the door slammed close. She waited patiently, watching Luna, and recognizing the way the princess stood still and waiting until she heard the faded murmurs of Spike and Raegdan talking outside.

“It’s pretty funny how both of them fall for the same trick, isn’t it?” Twilight commented, causing Luna to jump at the realization that her ploy had been evident. “Is there something you don’t want Raegdan to know?”

Luna put down her cup after taking a large sip, mindless of the beverage’s heat. “No. But there are topics he hates and disrupts if he’s around. You are aware of the term of masks, are you not?”

Twilight winced. She should have seen this coming. She had thought about it, and was considering sending a letter to Princess Celestia, but she just couldn’t figure out what to say. Heyo, Sun Princess. I was out today, having fun with my friends and pretending to run away from a facsimile of your sister’s blue period so she wouldn’t gobble us up, and I thought, ‘Hey, maybe Luna wouldn’t quite appreciate that and it doesn’t quite help her, does it?’Just thought I’d let you know. P.S. Nopony really likes Sun Lollipops. Maybe you should look into that as well. It lacked a certain tact.

“Erm, in ponies’ defense, nopony has proposed of using your picture in making Nightmare Night costumes, Princess…” Twilight wanted to bash her head on the table, even if it meant that would drive her teacup up her nostril and far further than ponies were ever meant to go in olfaction expeditions.

The dark blue Alicorn’s normally stoic face betrayed a rare moment of complete confusion before she chuckled. “Perhaps not in Ponyville, but I assure you, they did elsewhere. Nevertheless, it is of little matter, and I am too weary of listening to my sister’s endless apologies for not catching up to what Nightmare Night celebrations really entailed before they had become too widespread. No, I am talking of masks in the manner of personality. The masks we put on during our life.”

“Oh, yes. I’ve read a little on this, though I don’t subscribe to that philosophy.”

“You do not?” Luna raised an eyebrow, lifting her teacup for another sip. “Do you mean that you address and talk to my sister the same way you do, say, your friend, Pinkie Pie?”

“Well… No. But that’s not really the same, is it? I’m not putting up a false front.”

“Yes, I can see how the connotations brought forth by the term would make you think that,” Luna almost muttered as she tilted her head in thought. “But if you think of them as not something false, but merely… configurations?” she absently asked. “Yes, configurations of you. What and how you choose to act and react to ponies or situations?”

“I don’t quite agree with that,” Twilight countered, getting swayed into a debate with the relief of doing something familiar. “Ponies put on those masks when they also try to act unlike as they are, don’t they? A pony wishing to portray himself or herself in a certain way will adopt, to the degree they are capable of, personality and behavioral traits and quirks which are normally absent, minimized, or exaggerated.”

“But does not the act of creating this mask make one own it and thus part of one’s self?”

Twilight stalled for a second as she thought of a counterargument. She hadn’t thought of it like this. “Perhaps. But owning up to a lie doesn’t make it true.”

“I concede to this, but we are not talking of factual truths.” Luna emptied her teacup and brought it around Twilight and to the sink with her magic. Luna’s magic field tickled her head near her left ear as the teacup passed way too close, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. If nothing else, Twilight almost felt as if a headache she hadn’t noticed relaxed a little.

Luna continued talking after depositing the cup among the unwashed plates. “Our personalities and who we are shifting continuously. What is true today might not be as true tomorrow, and you can’t identify all personal traits as present or not present. There are too many degrees. The masks we wear shift these. Especially if you wear them for too long or have too many.”

Twilight’s lips became a straight line. “You’re talking about Raegdan, I assume?”

“And myself. Perhaps even my sister as well. You are familiar with at least three masks she wears, according to Raegdan. The mask of the Princess, the mask of the Mentor, and the mask of the Princess Who’s Not The Princess.”

Memories of Princess Celestia flooded Twilight’s mind. Moments where they all sat on the table together, when she laughed and played with her, Spike, and Raegdan, memories of snowball fights and lakeshore visits. Days when the Princess acted unlike her position and station, laughing instead of smiling.

“That is not- That is who Princess Celestia really is!”

“I take it then that you propose that her personality as a ruler is false?” Luna’s smile was unsure, as if she was undecided on which answer she’d rather hear.

“I… No. Of course not. Princess Celestia really is…” Twilight paused. “I see the point you are making,” she admitted.”But if these masks can be removed, changed, or discarded, then in the end they are just that: masks. They hide, reveal, or lie. Most of all, they would constrict. They would only be something of temporary value. In the end who you are reveals itself.”

“Perhaps there doesn’t have to be one true mask or a real face beneath. What if all of them are true or parts of the greater whole? Celestia acts differently to me when we’re alone than she does to you. Does that mean that she’s lying to me?”

“I don’t believe so,” Twilight replied, and then her eyes flashed. “But that would be the kind of question that only the individual could answer. ‘Which mask is closest to the real self?’ And like real masks, maybe not everypony owns one. What about you and your masks?”

Luna chuckled. “Oh, I have mine. Many of them, wildly different from each other, and I will be honest-” Luna’s expression became somber once more. “I have no clue as if to which if them is closer to the true me and which is a fabrication. I am desperately trying to figure out which is worse; that all of them are true or only one of them and I know not which. It is worrying when I think of it, and lately I’ve been thinking of this matter too often.”

Twilight moved from her chair across Luna to sit next to her instead. “Does this have to do with your past?”

Luna rubbed her eyes with her hooves, letting them rest there and leaning her weight on the short table. “Past, present… Future, hopefully. Where do I go from here? Who do I wish to be? I’ve made no secret of how glad I am to have Raegdan, how wonderful it is to have somepony that won’t judge my behavior and actions, but understand.”

Twilight didn’t respond vocally. She nodded, even though the princess couldn’t see her, but hoping the Alicorn sensed the movement, and placed a hoof comfortably on her back, a short distance higher than her wings.

“And it occurs to me that as glad as I am to have this comfort as it entails to my past and present,” Luna continued through the darkness she had placed herself in, “That I now have the choice to undo, not my past actions, but what lead me there. I can change my future. I don’t have to be lonely or hide anymore. I don’t have to push myself over my limits, I don’t have to break my mind as I try to make sense of what is right or wrong on my own. And I don’t mean that only because I have Raegdan now, even though he has been my pillar.”

“You mean your guards,” Twilight remarked. “But then, why didn’t you seek help from the previous ones?” Luna lowered her hooves enough to cast a questioning glance. “The Thestral ones. I was told about them. Was it because they died so—”

“No.” Luna’s hooves landed back down on the table with a thump, and she stared at nothing with an expression of anger. “It was because I believed I was fine. I was fine, and I found myself surrounded by blinding support beyond my wildest dreams, and then I wanted more, far more. I discovered greed. I wanted things I didn’t understand or deserved.” Luna took a deep breath. “I’m not… Nightmare Moon was only my second greatest mistake.”

“What do you mean?” Twilight was shocked by this statement.

“Have you ever felt… anger? True anger? The kind that opens your eyes even as it blinds you?” Luna asked, eyes vacant.

Her blood ran cold in her veins, and her mind was as still as a frozen pond. She had a clarity of thought unlike anything she felt before, she saw everything through a crystal lens full of angles and sharpened edges. She had a purpose in mind, and a drive as solid as the coldest ice.

“I… I have,” Twilight admitted. She remembered Raegdan falling on his side, a piece of metal plunged through his helmet’s eye slits. “A couple of times.”

“As did I. Once. Just once.” Luna sighed and shook her head, afterimages of the stars in her mane straying behind like stardust tails. “The point I am making is that I did not nor could I think like this back then. But now I finally do, and I have Raegdan, I have my guards, I am trying to be closer to Celestia once more, like I should have always been…” Luna glanced shyly at Twilight. “And I hope that I can have the aid and friendship of your friends and you. I was never happy, Twilight Sparkle. Not once, not since I was a filly. Then Raegdan came along, but still I’m…”

Twilight waited patiently, wanting to let Luna speak on her own terms and pace. The wait stretched, and Twilight chanced a guess. “But there’s a problem.”

Luna moved to the small kitchen window, and looked outside through the glass. “Maybe. Maybe not. It could only be a matter of patience. If we all wear masks, can we change them, and how long will it take? Is it even possible or can we suppress the unwanted ones at best? And if they do not exist, what then? What if the real face cannot change?” Luna sidled to the right, trying to get a better view of the front of the Library. “Have you ever wondered if there’s a difference between being happy and believing you ought to be?”

“Hmm? Well, that would be quite obvious, wouldn’t it?” Twilight proposed immediately, but as soon as she spoke she started wondering as well. She thought she had been happy right before coming to Ponyville, even if all she had were her books and nopony else but Spike and her lessons. Then she gained her friends, her wonderful friends, and then happiness really entered her life again. A happiness that had diminished so greatly once before. When she had so little she really thought she had enough. She wondered, by that logic, did what she have now was true happiness? Or was it her believing once more that she had to be?

She had been lost in thought for a minute there, and when she came to Luna was looking at her with a knowing smile. “Why don’t we go outside and see how the young drake has taken to the news?” she proposed.

Twilight rubbed her forehead, torn between laughing civilly or becoming a spectacle as she rolled on the ground and died an ignominious death by sheer chucklery. “Just… Just what did… did you tell him?” she managed.

“I didn’t do anything. I only told him that we’re staying here for two weeks, which apparently turned him into some kind of leech! I never taught him anything like this. Get him off!”

“Spike,” Twilight managed to choke out, fighting her amusement. “Spike, come on down now.”

The baby dragon tightened his hold around Raegdan’s head in response, and his tail wrapped around the closest available surface that it could get a good grip around. “No.” Spike’s answer was muffled by the black cloth on Raegdan’s head that he clung to. “If I do, and something comes up, then he’ll leave again!”

Twilight huffed, her humor gone just as it arrived, and shot Raegdan a glance that said, See, this is why I put up these rules. You’re hurting him. “Spike, he won’t do that. Even if something comes up these are his vacation days. He’d come back as soon as he’s done. You’re getting two weeks with him no matter what. Raegdan, explain it to him.”

Raegdan was doing his best to gently remove the surprisingly strong dragon tail wrapped around his windpipe. “... Choking…”

Luna spoke up. “Young drake, did he have a chance to tell you that he’s planning to do more than repairing and maintaining your household? He has plans to build you your own room as well.”

Spike’s eyes went wide and he jumped down on the grass, the wheeze of Raegdan’s lungs filling up desperately with air accompanying the muffled thud of Spike’s landing. “Really? I’m getting my own room?”

Raegdan nodded and coughed. “Yeah -cough-. Second fl-cough-floor.” He pointed at two massive branches, horizontal to each other and at the aforementioned floor’s level. “I’ll use them as the main support beams for the floor -cough- and it will let you have plenty of space on your own.”

“Shouldn’t we hire some ponies to help?” Twilight asked, dubious of Raegdan’s ability to do as he claimed. He never showed any propensity towards this kind of work -though of course there was that hidden room in Luna’s chamber, she reminded herself.

“It will be fine,” Raegdan said, rubbing his neck and raising his shirt as high as possible while making sure the cloth of his mask hid it from view. “I was doing construction work before… stuff. You know. I’m no architect, but I can build a room no problem. Cast Iron ordered enough lumber and tools to get me started at least. Everything will be here tomorrow. I’m almost finished with the staircase, most of the steps were too old and creaked too much, or they were loose. And some of your bookcases shake too much, so I’ll fix them up as well. The floor on the second level needs work as well. Your bed is fine, but your mattress is a lost cause. How old is that thing? I was tempted to ask Luna if she recognized it. We can go buy a new one when we go get a bed for little flame as well in a few days. In fact, we should just replace everything. Have you noticed how your kitchen table wobbles?”

Twilight blinked, hearing the description of everything he found at fault in less than a day and wincing. She knew that her house needed repairs, but never thought it was quite that bad. Raegdan did give her the means when he gave her all these bits months ago, but she just hadn’t had the time, and it was all too easy to postpone it for the future.

“Am I really getting my own place then?” Spike asked full of excitement.

Raegdan picked up Spike and lifted him to his shoulders to ride. “Isn’t that what I said, little flame? We will have to pick up some stuff to fill it up as well. A bookcase for your comics, toys, and everything else you want.”

“I haven’t spent any of the bits you gave me,” Twilight said, “So if you can really do most of the work then there will be plenty left over for that.”

“Keep it,” Raegdan said. He half-hopped in place, making Spike jump as he was on his shoulders and laugh. “I’ll do all the paying. What else am I going to spend my salary on? Lunar Guard, remember? Everyone gets paid, a lot actually, including me. I don’t have anything to waste it on.”

Twilight hummed nervously, but she knew she wouldn’t be able to convince him otherwise in a thousand years. At least she could make sure they had the best time possible while here. She’d have to make sure that Raegdan didn’t burn all of his time into working on her home, and that he and Luna actually did a few things for fun. She smiled as she thought of all these things she wished she could share with Raegdan and now realized that she could. They could spend some normal, harmless time with her friends, show him and Luna around… She would be able to give Luna a place where she could feel welcomed if she played her cards right!

She watched as Raegdan picked Spike up and played a game of throwing him gently at Luna, only for her to catch him in her magic and throw him back, the baby dragon laughing and whooping joyfully, especially as Raegdan started spinning him and throwing him in more diverse ways as his confidence in Luna’s catching abilities grew.

She’d missed him. As much as she grumbled, as angry and disappointed as she was, no matter how Raegdan failed to live to her expectations, she was happy to see him. Good or not, it didn’t matter. He was family.

She started to wonder if the expectations she had of him were too much. That her anger in him refusing to change his ways was unjust. For how long had Raegdan worn that mask of violence that slipped on so easily? It would take far longer than a few paltry weeks, months, or even years for him to adjust and leave it aside, and she had been a fool to think otherwise. She should have seen this sooner; there was her answer now for Princess Celestia’s limitless patience. Why the reigning Alicorn kept giving him chance after chance, proclaiming each one the last. Why she kept pushing him steadily, but softly.

Twilight’s smile faltered for a moment. Raegdan had his own masks. Which one was the real one? Was this Raegdan, the one who laughed along with Luna and Spike the real one? Or was it the other one, the one who craned his neck as he decided if he should hurt his victim some more or end it? Was it someone else she had never known or were all of them?

Did it really matter though? The decision was whether to keep trying, no matter how long it took, or give up, and she knew as she watched the three of them play, that she was going to try yet again. She was going to keep trying until… Well, it didn’t matter. That was in the future, and it would come when she was ready. Now, she had other things to care for.

A complained groan announced that Twilight’s stomach was empty. Right, a proper meal for her, Spike, and both her guests. She left them at their game and walked around the large boxes to head back inside and see what she could prepare. She was pretty certain that her pantry was almost empty, and having missed the market there was no way to replenish it now, but perhaps she had enough to make something.She was at the door when rumbling hoofsteps announced somepony was approaching rapidly. She turned around.

“...Trixie?”

The showmare -no, former showmare- had become a Lunar Guard as Rainbow Dash told her, much to Twilight’s disbelief. Still, the mare didn’t seem to have changed that much at first glance. She still wore her hat and garish cape as usual, but a deeper look showed subtle changes. Her legs were no longer wiry and uncomfortably lean. Trixie’s face was a little fuller, and her body had filled out more.

Of course, most intriguing -and worrisome- of all was the way Trixie breathed in and out loudly, and the sweat she was drenched in.

“Twi- Twilight Spark -huuungh!- Sparkle! I need a -wheeew- a favor. OhCelestiaI’mdying…” Trixie wheezed, almost falling over.

“What happened?” Twilight was fully worried now. “Take a few breaths, calm down.” Trixie did as she was told, and Twilight didn’t push her to talk until after she stopped sounding asthmatic. “Now, what was is this about?”

Twilight’s face became trapped between Trixie’s hooves as the show magician caught her by the cheeks and squeezed. “You must never tell Raegdan that I intended to seek revenge on you!” Trixie’s muzzle was undignified close, and either she let up soon or there would be rumors starting.

“Fwou didth?”

“If he finds out Trixie joined the Lunar Guard because Trixie was hoping to learn spells to crush your arrogance with, he is going to kill Trixie!” Trixie’s fear in her eyes was all too real. The mare was panicking. “Trixie knows that she’s giving you the perfect weapon to use against Trixie, but surely you wouldn’t let Trixie suffer like-”

A towering alien stood behind Trixie like a menacing shadow. Twilight suffocated in an intense sense of deja vu. Trixie spotted Twilight’s change of focus, and with an expression of surrender and misery, turned to face her fate.

A hand descended on her, lightly knocked Trixie’s conical hat away… and then ruffled her hair playfully. Raegdan turned to Twilight, his hand still patting Trixie’s head. “Twilight, little flame and Luna are getting hungry. Are you in the mood to go to a restaurant?”

Her surprise held her back for a second, but then she remembered her empty fridge. “Uh, sure. Dinner out sounds great.”

“Alright.” Raegdan grabbed Trixie’s horn and turned her head upwards. “Do you want to tag along, Trixie? We got room for more.”

“No, thank you,” Trixie said, white-faced and sounding sick. “Trixie would… Trixie would like to go lie down for a while, rest, and come to terms with her mortality.”

Raegdan and Twilight watched her go, the trembling of her legs causing her to sway a couple of times. “She’s a weird one, isn’t she?” Raegdan said with a mischievous glint in his eye.

Twilight waited for everypony to finish reading the menu and make their choices before she went up to order. She was going to order the same as always herself. She just hoped she’d be able to control herself and not bathe her fellow diners in sprays of ketchup as she massacred her hay burgers. She couldn’t help herself. They were just so good!

She looked around, feeling a tinge of mirth at how every other customer looked with wonder at the sight of a Princess putting down the normal menu in order to go over the kiddie’s menu once more. If there was one more thing she liked about Luna was how she shared Twilight’s own taste in food, although the Alicorn was still experimenting and discovering new tastes. While Luna took formal and informal settings in stride, Twilight had the distinct feeling that the Night Princess had no preference for either but favored what she was already familiar with. But in all, going to the local junk food restaurant instead of a fancy one was far preferable for all involved, even if there was a princess among them. It was much cozier and friendly.

“I was really impressed with how you dealt with Trixie,” Twilight told Raegdan.

Raegdan was fussing with his cloth mask. Every once in awhile the motion of talking or turning his head would start to move the holes he had opened for his mouth and eyes, and he had to reposition it carefully. “What, you mean not ripping her a new one?”

“Ripping her a new what?” Spike asked.

“Cloak,” Raegdan answered immediately. “Rip her cloak and then she would have two.”

“I mean not being violent and handling it maturely, even though you were a little mean scaring her like that.”

Raegdan leaned sideways to peek at what Luna was looking at exactly, and the Alicorn absently pushed him back to his place as to not block her light. “Eh, I’ve been waiting for the chance to do that. It was just as funny as I thought it would be. Little show off has been scared of this moment for months. If I talked it out with her nicely she would think I was setting her up for worse.” He rested his weight on his elbows. “Mind you, if she was ever even remotely a real danger to you she’d be right to be scared.”

“But she wasn’t and thus had nothing to fear,” Luna commented. “What’s more, she is one of our trusted guards. We would have surely credited her with some sympathy or sway her from her goals instead.” She glanced at Raegdan, her eyes narrowing forbiddingly.

“Right, sure. But some things are just…”

“What?” Luna asked.

“Inexcusable,” Raegdan answered.

Luna put down the menu and leaned back with a mirthless look of fake amusement. “Oh, this will be good. And pray tell, how would we define ‘inexcusable’? As an act done to you and yours from others instead of the other way around?”

Raegdan crossed his arms. “You know what? That’s exactly how we would. Or don’t we have the right to choose what we or how much we can take or not now? Although, perhaps I should say ‘I’ instead?”

“If this is the choice to harm Trixie for being angry at losing all her worldly possessions and way of income then perhaps that right should be reconsidered.”

“Oh, boo hoo. Yeah, she really got screwed, didn’t she? Let’s make a song to commemorate her troubles, why don’t we?” Raegdan said sarcastically.

Luna frowned, angry. “I thought we agreed that we shall no longer make judgements pertaining to extremes that don’t apply—”

“No, we didn’t!” Raegdan snapped back. “That was just you making like a puppy and lapping every single piece of crap that—”

Luna’s hoof struck the table. “You will watch your next words very carefully! I don’t lower myself to childish insults and I expect you to do likewise as much as you are able!”

“Oh, and raining down that subtle scorn is so much better? You know, as much as ‘I am able’ to understand of it?” Raegdan grumbled.

Luna raised herself up. “I never did this and if I did you know full well it was not meant this way! Don’t put words in my mouth!”

Reagdan stood as well, towering over her. “I never mean any swears either and you know it as well! You never told me you minded! I’m not a fucking mind reader!”

“... Please stop fighting...” Spike begged timidly, using the words that Twilight was too afraid at the moment to say, only willing to be a frightened bystander.

Both Raegdan and Luna stared at Spike for a few seconds before looking at their legs as if surprised they were no longer sitting. They fell back on their stools as one, Luna quickly hiding behind an upside-down menu.

“Everypony’s staring at us,” Twilight warned them.

“Our apologies,” Luna half-mumbled, gazing at the floor behind her cover. “We were not fighting, young drake. We tend to get a bit loud and forgot where we stood.”

“You were both getting quite flustered…” Twilight eked out.

“For what? Trixie?” Raegdan asked, and he quickly chuckled along with Luna, exchanging a glance. “Like I don’t get in disagreements with anyone else ever.”

Yes, with Princess Celestia after I left, Twilight thought but didn’t say out loud. You never outright clashed with Luna as far as I’ve seen. You always obeyed her without question. At least… that was what she had witnessed thus far, and watching them go back to their previous behavior with no hitch forced her to acknowledge that she probably didn’t know as much as she thought she did. Raegdan was already poking Luna on the ribs, calling her a slowpoke and telling her to choose already, while Luna was doing her best to retain her austere facade and stop her lips from trembling as she forced her smile down unsuccessfully.

“I would like to try one of each of these if you please, Twilight Sparkle,” Luna finally requested, underlining each item on the menu with a visible line of her magic. Twilight memorized them, gulping at the sheer volume. Either Luna would prove herself an eater worthy of Pinkie Pie or there would be enough leftovers to last her a month of mid-night binges.

“I’ll take my usual,” Spike ordered.

“Raegdan?” Twilight asked.

The tall alien did his best to get comfortable on the stool that was a little too small for him. “Anything that isn’t made with hay or flowers.” At least apart from this requirement he wasn’t a fussy eater.

Twilight moved to the end of the line, where she waited patiently for her turn. She did her best to ignore any murmurs that were still going on or the new ones that started every time a new pony entered and saw the infamous princess and the unusual being seated next to her. But Ponyville residents were, for good or bad, used to a higher rank of weirdness than the average pony, and after noticing Spike sitting affably on the same table they turned back to their own business. Twilight wasn’t sure how she felt about that, ‘Ah. Twilight Sparkle again,’ that they voiced.

The little bell over the door ringed again, and Twilight ignored it once again. Then she felt somepony getting uncomfortably close and she realized that the worst pony possible was right behind her, having decided to finally give Twilight a turn.

This is not going to end well…

“Who’s that?” Raegdan asked, his eyes mere slits.

Spike looked where his father was staring like a dragon whose hoard was being messed with. “Who, him?” Spike pointed at the white coated pegasus with the receding black mane that was determined to make Twilight pay attention to him. “That’s Laughter. Merry Laughter. He’s a nurse at the Ponyville hospital.” If Dad keeps looking at him like that then knowing the ponies who work there might prove lifesaving to him…

“Does he often try to… get temperature readings from ponies that are not his patients?” Luna asked, noticing how the pegasus was getting closer and closer to Twilight, forcing her to backstep all the while.

Spike clicked his talons together, wary of what he should say. “He’s a cool nurse and all. Very good and professional, at least that’s what everypony says. It’s just that…”

“That?” Raegdan prodded.

Spike winced. “He flirts a little too heavy-hoofed when not on call,” Spike admitted. “He’s funny and all, but uh, I don’t talk to him that much since Rarity told me what she thinks of him and his manners. You’re not gonna do anything, right? He’s not hurting anypony.”

It was entirely obvious that Raegdan wanted to, but to Spike’s surprise he shook his head, glancing momentarily at Luna who nodded in satisfaction. “Nah. Twilight can deal with him if he gets too much.” Raegdan frowned with distaste. “I’m going to the bathroom. The less I see, the better. Let me know if she ends up giving him a couple of shiners.”

His father-figure left the table and headed for the bathroom in the back. Spike felt a little bit of relief. Twilight was making such a fuss lately about dad and how he acted that she would only get angry if dad was being over-protective again, Spike internally grumbled. He couldn’t understand what had gotten into her. That’s how dad was, and he didn’t see her making a fuss when it turned out that being like that was helpful. Dad was doing his best to take care of them. How was that fair?

Spike turned back to see how Twilight fared, and he witnessed Merry Laughter’s terrible mistake. He looked behind him with a grimace; unfortunately for Merry Laughter, Raegdan saw it too.

“I already told you that I am not interested,” Twilight said with saint-like patience. If this creep tried to creep any closer to her again, she would lose her place in line. Did nopony tell him about personal space before or did he attend the same school as Pinkie Pie?

“You don’t sound so good,” Merry Laughter smirked. “I think you’re suffering from a lack of vitamin me.”

“Suffering is the right word…” Twilight looked at the ‘golden’ medallion that Merry Laughter wore at his chest with distaste. She could spot the flakes of paint crumbling, revealing the cheap tin beneath.

“Come on, don’t be like that. I’ve got some books at my place. Why don’t you come over and we can read them together?” Merry Laughter didn’t exactly leer, despite how it sounded, but right underneath his words was the implication that he didn’t really think of what he said because he was too busy staring at Twilight’s best points, and none of them involved any on her face.

“I can imagine what books you have. Can you take a step back?”

“I have in mint condition the first edition of ‘Shagger—”

“No! That wasn’t a request to tell me!”

“See, this is why we could fit together so well. I like you. You’re feisty!” Merry Laughter said, and taking courage from the fact that Twilight hadn’t slapped him yet, he slapped her instead. On her flank.

Twilight’s eyes widened at the sheer disbelief of the stallion’s lack of manners and very poor timing. “You didn’t…” Then she heard death coming.

Tables, stools, flyers, ponies, and half-eaten food flew in the air as Raegdan bulldozed his way through the restaurant hall in a straight line, his sole eye blazing with bloodlust while his roars sealed what the offending pegasus’ fate would be as soon as he wrapped his hands around his throat.

“I WILL FUCKING MURDER YOU!”

Twilight pushed Merry Laughter away, and shouted the only useful advice for this situation before trying to run interference.

“Run!”

Applejack walked leisurely next to Rainbow Dash, describing the rest of her relatively undisturbed route, her run-in with the Lunar Guard excluded, when they spotted Merry Laughter running out of a fast food restaurant like his tail was on fire and jumping to the air.

“What’s up with that creep?” Applejack asked.

“Maybe he messed with the wrong mare again? But then,” Rainbow grinned, “we’re both here!”

Then a table smashed through the restaurant’s window, barely missing them. They looked on in wonder as Raegdan jumped through the broken glass, keeping his arms folded in front of his head to protect himself from any remaining glass, landed on the road, and searched around him. He spotted the fleeing figure at once, and before Merry Laughter could get too far, Raegdan had pulled back the stool he was holding on his right hand and launched it at the flying pegasus, nailing him on the head and causing him to crash land on a roof with a pained yelp.

“If you like asses so much I’m gonna tear yours off and feed it to you!”

Twilight ran out of the door, missing Raegdan by seconds as he went around the corner, looking for a way to climb up on the house where Merry Laughter landed and fulfill his promise.

“Hey, Twilight. Guess what, your dad’s here! Surprise!” Rainbow Dash giggled.

“Yes, Rainbow, thank you, Rainbow, I noticed, Rainbow, that was very helpful, Rainbow,” Twilight deadpanned.

“Shouldn’t you be running behind him before he actually murders somepony?” Applejack asked nervously, her worry evident.

“He’s being really loud, so that’s a good sign. He’s going to beat him just a little and mostly scare him until he makes him pee himself. It’s when he’s quiet that it ends badly. The less he speaks, the worse he is. On the bright side, he did hold off for a little while. That was progress at least.” Twilight breathed. “Baby steps.” She was about to say more when her attention was diverted by the filly-like, terrified squealing of Merry Laughter. “Oops, he found him. Gotta go!” She vanished in the flash of a teleportation spell.

“ ‘Two weeks’, you said?” Rainbow asked.

“Eeyup.” Applejack answered.

“Cool. At least it won’t get boring anytime soon.”

Spike gave Princess Luna another napkin to wipe off the mustard that she had been splattered with. Luna methodically cleaned her face while looking at the ponies who stared at each other in a state of shock; moans of pain and grief escaped their trembling lips as they mourned over fries that failed the five second rule and terrible wounds of ketchup redness on their coat.

She stared at the broken window for longer. Spike was looking up at the bun that had gotten hooked on her horn instead, and wondered if she knew that her mane now contained celery galaxies and pickle planets, orbited by onion rings. Spike himself was unscathed, as the much larger Alicorn had made great cover in the short bombardment.

The bun fell off Luna’s horn with a sad ‘flop’.

“I assume everything will have to be compensated for,” Luna stated, glancing at Spike questioningly.

“Probably,” Spike agreed with a shrug. “But I don’t think anypony will complain a lot, at least. They’re used to stuff breaking around here.”

“Lovely.” Luna picked up a menu and relit her choices. “I’m certain we shall test that tolerance to the limits. Do you think we can still order?”