“Luna, that’s enough wood for now. We’ll only spend a night here, not the whole week.” Celestia’s laugh is a joy to hear once more. A few minutes of rest and the wound is already aggravating her much less.

I’m sure that I look ridiculous, covered in pine needles, dirt, and dragging a branch that’s so much larger than me and must weigh two or three times as much as I do. If that’s not enough, my hind legs keep slipping on the loose dirt and I either end up on my flank or some really weird and unconditional poses.

Some of these slips might have been on purpose. Maybe. I’m not telling. They make my sister laugh though, and that is enough. Too bad I didn’t think of finding a tree with some nice, thick sap. The sight of my mane sticking up would drive her to tears. Still, I have figured out what makes her laugh. My hind legs slip once more and my hooves furiously seek some purchase, find none, and I end up upside down.

Celestia struggles not to laugh. “‘Tiaaaa!” I whine, just the way I did when I was five, and she loses it, bursting in deep laughs that come deep from her chest.

I abandon the unwanted thick branch, and return to my sister’s side with a fake pout on my lips. What I want to do is smile and sing, I want to run up to her and hug her, and bury my face in her mane, but I don’t. What Celestia needs now is to worry at her baby sister and to make my fake frown leave.

So I oblige and let her treat me as if I’m half my age. Celestia reaches out with her strong right wing and drags me to her side, almost smothering me in a hug as she traps me between her white coat and her soft feathers. It’s the safest, most comforting place I’ve ever been.

Not that there have been a lot, but I think this one will always remain my favorite no matter what.

“I’m sorry for laughing at you, Luna. I’m always thankful for your help, and you did a splendid job,” Celestia says, nuzzling me.

“‘S’okay,” I mumble, fighting down the urge to give her one of my brightest smiles.

“Still, you’re only twelve. Please don’t try to do more than you can, okay, Luna?”

I turn my head to her, giving a stop to her rubbing of my cheek. “I can do it!” I assure her. I’m pretty sure I could drag that tree branch all the way here if I kept trying. Though, from all the way here, in the middle of the large clearing we have stopped to rest for the coming night, it looks bigger than up close. More like a trunk than a branch. Still pretty sure I could drag it. Pretty sure. Maybe.

“Anyway, you keep trying to do more than you can yourself all the time.” I tell her, making a very good point. I can’t see or point her left wing from where I lie down, but Celestia understands what I mean well enough.

“That’s a little different, Luna.”

“No, it’s not. You got hurt because you went to help those ponies.”

“I had the opportunity to help them, and I took it, Luna. See? Now thanks to both of us—”

“I didn’t do anything…” I quickly correct her.

“Yes, you did. You’re the one who noticed the tracks, are you not? Now that monster isn’t going to hurt that poor village any more than it already did, and nopony else got hurt.”

“You got hurt,” I remind her, with a hint of real annoyance making it into my voice. I understand what my big sister is doing, and I understand how important it is and how many ponies she’s helping every day. Sometimes though she gets hurt, like she did this time. Sometimes worse. I hate that this has to happen. Why does it even have to? Why does it always have to be her that gets hurt?

“I’m going to be fine in a couple of days, Luna,” Celestia assures me with another nuzzle.

“You could have flown us to the next village if you hadn’t got hurt. I like flying…” I mumble.

Celestia hugs me tighter, and just like that, all's right with the world again. “Two days of walking, and then we’ll fly for hours, and not for travelling. For fun. Just the two us, doing all the tricks you want,” she says, kissing me on the forehead.

Flying on my big sister’s back, doing flips and dives and… “You promise?”

“I promise.” She glances at the lowering sun. “Now come on. Let’s get the party started, shall we?”

We get to work. I break the little branches with my hooves, and Celestia uses her magic to break apart the larger ones that I can’t, and prepares the fire while stacking the extra wood at the side. It’s not that cold yet, but fire keeps almost everything away, at least in this area. It might attract a few… things, but those might have come anyway. It’s better to have a fire than not.

“What are we going to the next village for?” I ask while gathering up dry leaves and small sticks for kindling. The constant wandering has made me forget. It’s always from one village to the next, only staying long enough for Celestia to learn what she can and teach what she has learned, help where she can, and if possible, work for a few days to pay for what we need, even though we most often than not have to rely on gifts and charity.

Celestia nods at her overly large saddlebags. She carries all our food, blankets, tools, everything herself. She claims she hasn’t been able to find saddlebags my size, but I’m going to ask the next clothier we find myself. I think she’s been lying.

“There’s a new breed of wheat that is much more resistant to disease. I want to give out as many of its seeds as I can, as well as teach the ponies there about some new tricks with crop rotation. I hope they will make the following winters a bit easier.”

“Oh. Couldn’t somepony else do that?”

“We were going that way anyway, Luna. There’s a pony I want to meet, a unicorn.”

My gasp of excitement made me drop the small branch I held in my mouth. “Unicorn? Is it about a spell? Have you found something new?”

“No, he has,” she tells me, laughing at my hopping. “They told me he has managed some kind of spell that forms an invisible wall that blocks attacks.” She flexes her left wing, not without some wincing. “That will be useful if it’s true.”

“That is amazing!” If that’s true, when Celestia learns that spell—and she will, there’s nothing Celestia can’t do!—then she will never get hurt again! I will never see her beautiful white coat stained with red again. Let it be true, please let it be true.

Celestia however keeps her enthusiasm down. She reminds me that there have been too many rumors of some powerful spell or power that can keep ponies safe from monsters. None of them has been true, not even a little, but Celestia still keeps going after these rumors every time she hears of them. All it would take is one of them to be true, and even if they are not completely true then there might be something else useful to know.

I think this spell might be true. It has to be. Celestia deserves it. The world has to make it up to her for everything she has been doing, all that constant travelling, the fighting, learning and teaching. Even if it isn’t, Celestia might make such a spell herself. My big sister is brilliant!

We light the fire. She lets me do it this time. I haven’t grasped how exactly the spell works yet, but I understand enough and have plenty of magic to force the spell to make a spark big enough to set the kindling ablaze. I still don’t understand how thinking of the air rubbing against itself, like I do sometimes with my forelegs when I get cold, makes it easier, but it does.

“Well done, Luna. You made a much bigger spark than last time,” Celestia compliments me. It didn’t seem that way to me, but I’ll take it! Celestia knows better anyway. She then turns her gaze back to the sun which had failed to move for a while. “It seems they’re having trouble again.”

The news should be worrying, but I’m excited to hear that. “Are you going to do it yourself?”

Celestia thinks for a few moments. “I think I’ll have to.” She closes her eyes, and a different kind of smile graces her lips, like the one she gets when she meets an old friend. The orange hued sunlight colors her differently, almost gold, and the light is soft, and she seems so at peace… I take it in as long as it lasts, for it soon fades away as the sun travels beneath the horizon and the stars start coming out.

“The sun. Can you feel it? When you guide it?”

“I can.” She talks like she’s coming out of a heavy dream.

“What does it feel like?” I asked breathlessly.

Celestia takes a minute to think about the answer. “Put your hoof on your ear,” she instructs me. I do as she says. “Now press down on your ear, hard as you can, and rotate it left-wise. Can you hear something?”

“No,” I say, a little disappointment creeping into my voice.

“Give me a second.” Her horn brightens, and her magic envelopes me. “Can you hear it now?”

I can. It’s a rhythmic whooshing sound. It’s like a roaring river, only one that comes and goes, and somewhere behind it…

“There’s a faint thumping in the distance.”

“That’s your heart,” Celestia tells me. She sits next to me, and positions herself so that her bosom sticks right against my other ear. Her magic flares again.

Now I can hear my sister’s heart as well. It’s like a loud drum, and each beat fills up the world until the next one comes. All the while I can hear my blood flowing and the distant echo of my own heart. The sounds are unsynchronized but somehow they all form up together to make something grand and wondrous. It sounds less like my sister’s heart with each beat, and more like the world itself.

“That’s what it feels like, only not really. There’s this sense of warmth and fierce winds, and behind it something else, as if… as if there’s a power hiding just out of view, one that’s building and building… That’s what it’s like. That’s what the sun feels like.” Celestia smiles, as if basking in the memory of what transpired only moments ago.

I smile as well, although it doesn’t come as easy for me. Truth be told, it sounds frightening.

I look up. The stars are beautiful as well. A different beauty, a quieter one, but one that I like much more. They are so soft, and lonely despite how many of them are around each other, and sad, and quiet, and they look like they want nothing more than to touch the others, that’s why I think they sparkle like that, they try to reach to the others and make friends, but they can’t and it’s sad, so very, very sad—

“Luna?”

“Oh, sorry. Did you say something, ‘Tia?”

Celestia repeats herself. “Could you bring something out of the bags for us to eat for dinner?”

I rush for the bags, and dig through them until I find our supplies, as well as our blankets. We need to find a bigger one for Celestia. This one barely covers her at all, and I think she’s still growing. We’ve had this blanket since I was eight, and I don’t think it’s the blanket that’s shrinking. I don’t think normal ponies grow anymore when they’re as old as Celestia, but she’s… different.

I take the chance to mess with our shares since she isn’t hovering over me this time. A mare gave us a couple of clay plates three days ago, and we like them better than eating from a couple of handkerchiefs. I just hope they won’t break anytime soon. I put our portions on them.

I go back to her side and the fire, holding both plates in my magic. I may not be able to cast a fire spell, but I can do this much. I glance up at the starry sky once more, hoping in the back of my head that I won’t trip. “Do you think they’ll put the moon up tonight?”

“I don’t think so. They already had too much trouble with the sun.” Celestia takes her own plate, looking down at her large piece of cheese, big slice of bread, and one of our last apples. “Luna, this is too much. We’ll run out of food in two more days at this rate.”

“S’okay. I only took a little, see? That way it ends up even.” I tilt my own plate: half a slice of old bread, and a very small piece of hard cheese.

Celestia frowns. In the flickering light of the fire it makes her face so much harsher than I know it to be. It looks as if she is angry, but I know it’s only concern. “Luna, you can’t do that. You are growing up, you need to eat more—”

“I’m not hungry! Really, ‘Tia, I’m not.” I’m starving actually, but I can wait until morning to eat some more. Celestia is the one who has been eating less, trying to stretch our food, even while she’s hurt and needs to heal. “We only walked a little today. I didn’t even get tired.”

She mulls it over while guiltily glancing at her plate. She’s hungrier than I am, I know that. I heard her stomach rumble fiercely before we stopped. “If- If you’re sure…” she stutters. I nod fervently and she dives in, ripping the stale bread with her teeth.

I nibble on my own portion. I really want to scarf it all down, but if I finish faster than Celestia then she will insist that I have what’s left of hers.

We finish our dinner faster than either of us wants to. Celestia even gathered up the crumbs that were left, and I did the same while she wasn’t looking. Anything to fill up our bellies. At least since we are walking we have a better chance of finding some fruit trees, berries, or even some mushrooms. I’ll have to spend tomorrow on the lookout for these. Celestia is too worried for anything chancing upon us to spot them as well as I do.

Celestia lifts up her right wing, inviting me to huddle up in the warm nook of her body. “Time to sleep, Luna. Come on, I’ll wake you up a couple of hours before dawn so you can do your shift.”

As much as I want to, I don’t accept. “Can I take the first shift tonight?”

“Luna, I don’t think that… It’s dangerous out here. It’s better if you wait until I wake you up. There are less predators near the morning hours. I can sleep then.”

“I can do it!” I assure her. “ ‘Tia, if I see or hear anything I’ll wake you, I promise. I’m twelve, I can take the first shift for once.”

“Lu—”

“Please!” I use the most adorable look in my arsenal, in combination with a stance that screams ‘I’ll be a good filly, promise.’

Celestia is tired, hurt, and she just ate. She’s unsure, but today has been quiet so far, and she yearns for rest. She nods, and I gleefully jump in joy. “Now, remember. Wake me up if you hear so much as a whisper, okay? And don’t try to investigate anything on your own. Some creatures make noise on purpose so you will go to them, remember that.”

I wave my hoof at her in dismissal. “‘Tia, I know. You’ve told me a thousand times. I’ll be careful, I promise. Go to bed. I want to sleep in a while as well.”

“Well, okay…” She is still unsure, but scoots closer to the fire and lays under the thin blanket. It doesn’t take that long until I hear the faintest snores.

I wait until she’s completely asleep, and then I cover her with my own blanket as well. She always leaves her back uncovered. It’s a wonder she hasn’t gotten a cold yet, though maybe that is because we can’t get a cold. Perhaps it is simply harder for us to get one. We don’t know, and it isn’t like there’s anypony who can tell us. Celestia says she got one once, before I was born.

It’s really hard being so different sometimes. Even the simplest questions have no answers. Like Celestia’s mane. It floats and dances in a non-existent wind, and nopony knows why that is, not even her. Will my mane be like hers when I’m old enough? Will I have so many pretty colours, all mixing together like a rainbow?

I really hope so. I like my soft blue mane but it’s so boring compared to Celestia’s.

I’m not going to wake her up until morning. Not unless I have to. Celestia deserves a full night’s sleep for once. She deserves so much, and we have almost nothing. I can give her that much though. All I have to do is make sure that she is safe.

There’s a small spear among our things. It’s not really a proper weapon, it is just an old broken one with a chipped head, but it is still usable enough, though not in its original way. Celestia doesn’t know I’ve picked it up, and I make sure I always hide it well among the blankets and other items. It is one of the perks of having nagged her into letting me be in charge of this chore.

Then I flutter my wings, and it is with some relief that I finally let the sharpened stone fall from its hiding place in the nook of my right wing. Celestia doesn’t know about this one either. It’s a hard stone that I broke and sharpened into a kind of knife. It won’t do much good against any monster, but that’s not what it was meant for.

It wasn’t that long ago when a couple of ponies decided that they could make a pretty bit by displaying me in a freak-of-nature kind of show. Celestia found me and stopped them, but I wasn’t going to let myself be caught without a fight again. It will be hard for anypony to get the chance though. Celestia has stopped leaving me behind exactly because of this. In a way, they did me a favor.

I stand by the fire, a vigilant sentry for my big sister. It’s boring, but every now and then a piece of wood breaks in the fire, sounding so much like wood snapping under a hoof or a paw, that reminds me I have to be careful. I listen as careful as I can, but all I hear is the fire crackling. It’s so loud it even drowns the few crickets around us.

I can’t see too far, I realize after a while. All I can see is the small ring of light that our fire casts. I bite my bottom lip as I understand. The fire might help keep us safe, but it blinds us. It blinds me. If something comes creeping up to us I won’t see it coming until it’s too late. The small pockets of moisture trapped in the wood burst so loudly that I probably won’t even hear it.

Huge, clawed paws make it to the light in my imagination. I can almost see a feral head, covered in thick bristles of hair, and razor sharp teeth under a pair of yellow, malicious eyes. I hear myself crying out for Celestia, and I can see her rising up in alarm, even as the monster leaps, aiming for the throat of the startled mare. I can see the teeth sink into my sister’s neck, the vibrant white drenching in dark red, I can hear her screaming—

No, no, no, no. No! That’s just my imagination! It won’t happen! I won’t let it happen. I can’t stay blind. I can’t guard Celestia like this. I abandon the fire, its warmth, and its false sense of safety. I move ahead until the darkness swallows me, and I sit and wait.

Slowly, the world brightens up. Not as much light as the fire gave, but even though it’s less I can actually see a little better. I can see the edge of the trees around us, I can make out the silhouette of rocks, grass, and leaves. I can see almost everywhere around us, and if I cover the fire’s glare with my hoof I can even see behind the treacherous fire. It’s not perfect, not near anything good enough even, but it’s better.

I can even hear so much more. The chirping of crickets, the hooting of owls and other night creatures. I can hear the grass sway under the night breeze. I can hear the fire behind me, and I can hear my sister breathing, even all the way from here. Everything is so loud, yet…

Everything is so alone, and silent.

Like the stars above. They are so beautiful, and they are so much brighter when I’m away from the fire. I wish I could lie down on the grass with no worry, and just… look at them for hours and hours. They glimmer like the brightest silver. I wonder what it would be like if there were no monsters in the dark. If I could lie down next to Celestia, and together try to find the brightest stars. We could name them, and make them our friends. Then perhaps they wouldn’t look so lonely.

I wish the unicorns had managed to get the moon up.

It is always so nice to see it. The way it hangs among the stars in the sky. The sun looks so distant and unapproachable, but the moon isn’t like that. She looks like she’s swimming and smiling down on me, a smile that hides a secret that she teases me with. I wish she was out tonight. It would be so much easier to stand guard with her light, and it wouldn’t feel as lonely either.

As it is, I have to be alone, away from my sister in order to make sure nothing will harm her. I have to stay out here in the dark and cold to make sure she’ll sleep and rest in the light and warmth. I can see her from here. I can see her chest rise and fall with every slow breath, and I can’t help myself but smile. It’s worth it.

I return to my vigilance, holding the bronze spearhead against my cheek, feeling the cold metal and its ragged, unpolished surface. I decide it is better to change locations every little while, both to keep myself awake, and to make sure nothing escapes me.

My eyes and ears are kept busy as they jump and flick to every little sound and movement, imaginary or not, be it a branch shaken by the wind or rustling grass. My mind… not so much. I keep thinking, and I don’t like what I think of at all.

The monster with the bulging eyes that Celestia fought and killed. The ridged, leather neck, the stinking breath that smelled of blood and meat. Fresh meat. Celestia pushed me back with her magic, but not before I saw the bones and the patches of coat around the monster, I saw… I saw…

I bite my tongue to stop myself from sobbing. I won’t cry. I’m twelve years old, I’m not a little filly anymore. But... That could be my sister someday. That could be Celestia, one of these things might get lucky someday, and my big sister will end up… end up torn and- and bleeding, and there will be nopony to help her, there are so few ponies able to help, that risk everything, and I’ll- I’ll end up alone… Alone without my sister…

It hits me that this could- this could happen any moment. Celestia could be doing her shift, these horrible long shifts in the night while I sleep, and I could wake up to see her- see her- I could end up like one of these ponies I see in the villages. I’ve seen so many of them. The ponies that cry for husbands or wives or children. Only I would be crying for Celestia.

It’s not fair. It’s not fair how this is our life, how everypony is scared of the dark and what hides inside it, and how our life could end like that, in blood and teeth. It’s not fair that Celestia has to run herself apart taking care of me, helping ponies do better, stop the monsters, raise the sun when the unicorns or minotaurs or what have you can’t. They don’t even know that she’s doing it, nopony knows how she makes sure the sun is always up for them. It’s not fair. It’s not fair!

I change position and I sit down again. No. No, I won’t let this happen! I’m not as smart or great as my big sister, but I can do this much. I can guard her during the night. And perhaps… perhaps when I grow up and I’m stronger, when I can cast some spells and fight properly with something more than a damaged spear… maybe I can do more than that. Maybe I can…

The stars are so pretty. It’s not fair how everypony is afraid of the dark and can’t see them for how beautiful they are, that they can’t sit outside and watch. It’s not fair. The night should be calm and serene, it should be restful and ponies should be able to watch the stars and the moon, and the moon should be out more often. It’s not fair that they leave it hidden under the horizon, that they don’t try harder to let it out—

I left my spear behind. I pick it up with my magic, and… for a few moments it is heavy. It’s almost impossible to pick up, but I don’t care. I keep at it, while my mind is still thinking about the moon. The silent, pretty moon. It’s almost like I can feel it, like Celestia told me she feels the sun. Only, the moon won’t be like that, not even close. There’s no roaring sound or anything of the sort. The moon is quiet, so very, very quiet. It’s a strange silence. Not the one of waiting or of listening to the dark. It’s a peaceful one, like the one in your mind on the verge of sleep. There’s never going to be a sound there, and that’s okay. Softness too. I can almost feel it, how soft the moon must be. Almost like falling from up high, but quieter, gentler, almost like passing through a sea of soft feathers. I can feel a warm light landing on it, and I can feel it change, becoming soft and cool. I can feel the moon giving it all away, I can feel it’s remorse at not having its own to give away, I can feel how lonely it feels and how it yearns...

I pick up the spear and everything brightens up.

I… I can see so much clearer! I look up and… It’s the moon. They raised the moon! They actually did it, even at this late hour. There’s only a sliver of it showing up in the sky, it’s not a full moon, but I can see so much more. It’s almost like it’s day, like I can see through every shadow. Even looking back I can see without the fire blinding me now. It’s amazing how big a difference the moon made!

The moon. Yes, I’m going to do the same when I grow up and I’m big and strong! I’m going to be out here in the dark, under the stars and the moon, and I’m going to watch over everypony, especially my big sister. No monster is going to hurt ‘Tia while I’m around! I’m going to stop all the monsters, and when they’re all gone everypony will be able to lay down on the grass and look at the stars and moon. I’m never going to be able to be as great as my big sister is, but I can do this much! Nothing will hurt Celestia again!

I go next to Celestia the next time I stand up. She’s smiling in her sleep. I wonder what she’s dreaming of. I wonder if she’s dreaming of our parents. I sometimes wish I could dream of them too, but I can’t. I never knew them. Celestia has been my big sister and my mom. She doesn’t like talking about them, she misses them, so I stopped asking. I don’t need to know anyway. I have her.

Still, I wish I could share her dreams. See what she sees. See our parents, see all the things she told me or hinted about. Maybe Celestia will make a spell for it one day if I ask. Maybe.

I kiss her softly on the lips and wish her good dreams. I tell her that I love her then go back to guarding, making sure nothing is approaching. It’s so much easier now in all this light and with my company up in the sky.

My mane dances in front of my face for a moment before it settles down again. That was weird. There’s isn’t any wind blowing.