“We didn’t know where to go. Everypony was running scared, and the village was already burning. Wyverns don’t start fires, it must have been some scared pony running in the dark and dropping a lamp or something similar. I think it might have been more than one. I remember them screaming, calling for help, their loved ones, and for light. Light to drive away the monsters and the dark.

“My brother was scared as everypony else, but the difference was that he kept his head straight. No matter what, Sunny made sure to keep me next to him while he tried to find our parents.

“It was impossible to do so. I don’t even remember any faces that night. They were all shadows, and cries, and wings flapping above us like thunder. It was pure chaos. Everypony was trying to cast a light if they had the magic or a torch if they did not, but the monsters and the night swallowed them as quick as they emerged.

“One of the guards saw us and he yelled at us to leave, to run. ‘Go east,’ he shouted, ‘hide in the forest.’ A pair of wings descended then, right on top of us. I looked up the guard later, much later. Crop Rotation. He was an old earth pony, older than I remembered him being according to his record. He had no family except a few distant relatives, the closest being in Ponyville. He should have been retired, but instead he asked to continue serving in some capacity, and he was placed in our village where he mostly made sure colts and fillies didn’t break anything they shouldn’t.

“He ordered us to run, and he… he attacked the wyvern face on. He got killed straight away of course, but… he kept it busy long enough for me and Sunny to live through that horrible night. Because then you came, your Grace.

“It was… forgive me. It was as if the sun itself descended on our midst, bathing us in light. The wyvern tried to attack you and you didn’t even glance at it. You were only looking at us, while your guards killed it effortlessly while it was being blinded by your immense light. You saved us.

“When we found out that there had been only two wyverns we… I don’t know. We were angry. We were sure we had been attacked by dozens, hundreds of the beasts. During the night, in the dark, all those shadows… Well, they didn’t last long when you arrived, Princess. You dispelled the dark and cold.

“I think that was the moment that Sunny decided he was going to devote his life to your service. When he saw your Radiance flying above us like the goddess that you are. I needed some more time to see what he saw, but I did. I have.

“He gave everything for your service. There was a mare, he loved her so much, but his duty came first. He had no family except me. He didn’t have any friends outside of his colleagues in the rest of the Solar Guard. He had no other joys but serving what is good and true in the world. Making sure the sun would ever rise. He taught me so much. He taught all of us.

“Sunny is dead, but he’s at a better place. He… I’m ashamed to say that he had a crisis of faith at the end. He was worried. Where he was going to go, if our family would be there, if he did well enough. I told him the truth of course. That his beliefs were true, and he had been a devout pony. That he would be in the light forever. He smiled then. His pain was gone, and he died happy, knowing he would be blessed in the end. I’m glad I was here to see his death if it meant he didn’t die afraid. That he died knowing it was all worth it.

“... It was worth it, wasn’t it, Princess? He’s in a better place now, right?”

How could she tell him no?

It seemed she denied being a goddess almost daily. She told them the truth. She was an Alicorn, and her talent let her guide the sun. If she had any other qualities, they came from who she was, not what. She strived to be as good, gentle, and caring as possible every day.

Choose to do good, and you will. A conscious choice made every day. Nopony was made great by his talent or his skills, not even she. You made yourself so.

But Sunny Ray had chosen to dedicate his life to her to the end. He died for her, blocking a spell meant for her. She had seen it already, she was ready to shield herself, and then that brave, selfless pony died for…

For what? What was she supposed to say? That Steadfast’s brother died needlessly, that she was never in danger? That she had no idea where ponies go after death? That the last words he said to his brother were lies?

If she did, then Steadfast Ray would…? What would he think of his brother’s life then? His sacrifices? Did dying for a wrong belief made his actions any less noble or selfless? Sunny Ray had saved so many of her ponies throughout his service. He was loved by everypony and with good reason. He may have been wrong about her, but his actions, his charity, his concern for everypony he met, these were all well renowned and true.

Would Steadfast Ray accept that? His brother was his world. Could she let him suffer more so soon after losing his brother? He was a strong pony, but now, as he sat in front of her, clutching the golden covered diary of his brother he looked so fragile. Celestia closed her eyes.

“Yes. He’s in a better place.”

“Princess Celestia, are you alright? We can always continue tomorrow if you are tired.”

Celestia blinked rapidly as she came out of her thoughts. She had forgotten where she was, so deep had she been in the past. She was in her personal office, a private sanctum that almost no ponies ever saw, where chaos and bad filing ruled unprohibited. Paisley Leaf sat on a worn, comfortable chair with worry written all over his wrinkled face.

“Forgive me, Paisley. I was lost in memories, nothing else. Where were we?”

Paisley Leaf looked back at his notes, taking his time in getting back on track. “Let’s see, Princess… Did you pay attention to what I told you about Silver Tallow?”

Celestia smiled guiltily. “I must have missed that part.”

“Hrm,” the old stallion grumbled, pointedly glancing at the clock. Her majordomo was always worried over her sleeping schedule. He always did his best to ensure she slept early, seeing as it was the impossibility of her sleeping in.

“Princess Luna has been insisting that all charges are dropped and Silver Tallow be set free. Lunar Commander Solid Charge claims that all evidence is circumstantial at best and highly suspect at worst, and both Princess Luna and Lunar guard Raegdan give personal references of her character.” Paisley Leaf was chewing on the end of his quill.

“Personal references? Raegdan talked to you? He’s alright?”

“We do not know, Princess. Your sister refuses to allow any doctors to see him.”

Celestia stood up. “This is idiotic. He needs professional care! He might have survived so far without, but he could be dead tomorrow without medical help. I’m not going to stand aside like this anymore. Luna has to let me see him!”

“Princess, wait,” Paisley Leaf asked quietly. “It’s been almost two days. If he lasted this long then he can last a little more, he’s always been hardy. It’s not worth getting into a fight. I do not know Princess Luna that well, but I do not believe that a direct confrontation is the best way to resolve the matter.”

Celestia’s eyebrow lifted. She recognised the crafty tone. “I assume you know something I don’t?”

The papers ruffled, and one presented itself to her. She didn’t bother reading it. Paisley Leaf would tell her everything she needed to know. “The Lunar Commander had sent an offer to a certain doctor in Baltimare by the name of Hewn Laurel to work in the castle. I took the initiative to meddle and doubled the salary offer as to ensure his acceptance. At the very least he is a medical professional that your sister trusts. I have made sure all will be in order so he can begin work at once when he arrives tomorrow.”

“Good work, Paisley,” Celestia praised as she sat behind her overwhelmed desk once more. “Now, if only Twilight had been able to stay a little longer…”

“What about Silver Tallow, Princess?”

Celestia fluttered her wings. “It’s obvious they’re feeding me lies, but Silver Tallow is only an innocent victim in this. She will go back to her home with our most sincere apologies.”

“Very good, Princess,” Paisley Leaf said proudly, jotting a note. “I will have them escorted back to their residence in the morning. No need to trample through the night. Now, in the case of your Solar Guard?”

Celestia’s face darkened. “Steadfast Ray has been removed from his position. I will allow him his freedom and a pension for the sake of his spotless past service and the grievous injuries he received, but I want it to be made clear to him that if he dares step the tip of his hoof out of line or even think of approaching Luna or any of hers again then he will spend his retirement in the dungeons. Not even Raegdan ever dared to make such a fool of me and disguise murder behind my back in such a cold, calculating manner in my own home, and he’s... him. Steadfast should have known better, but I should also have taken the cue from the tournament and stop it before.”

“A sad case, Princess, but that’s how life is at times. It will be done. There was nothing you could have done.”

“Two ponies lost so far in a senseless, one sided feud. I daresay there were plenty I could have done. It always pains me to see the trust I’ve given thrown away.”

Celestia laid her head against the chair’s tall back. “At least this praising me bussiness in my Solar Guard will come to an end without him. It always left a foul taste on my tongue.”

“We could always issue an order to forbid them from doing so, Princess.”

“No.” Celestia shook her head for emphasis. “Refusal always incites them, makes them think it’s a secret test of character or something equally ludicrous. It will fade to nothing soon enough. It always does.”

“It always comes back though.”

“Yes,” she answered sadly. “It’s very cyclical in a way. Just how they like their gods.” She laughed, even though she didn’t find any good humor in her thoughts. “The sun will rise… Luna is lucky she never had to deal with this harrowed business.”

Their business concluded, and with the day’s work finally finished, Paisley Leaf gathered his own share of notes and was ready to leave. Celestia knew that the hard working pony would first go to his own office to finish up before going to bed, only to wake up at the same time Celestia herself did.

Celestia didn’t bother with that as much. Her personal preferences were to leave everything hanging around in reach. She had become extremely proficient in using her magic to clear through them and find what she needed, and she did a clean up every week to get rid of stuff that could trickle down the chain to other ponies that could finish up once she had a general look.

As soon as she entered her bedroom she removed her chest piece and crown with a sigh of relief. She was afraid that these badges of her office had permanently etched lines on her skin, shaping her flesh beneath them to accommodate them, but she never was able to keep them off her long enough to find out if these could go away.

Her mattress was as soft as ever, and the covers featherlight and warm, yet sleep did not come. The last couple of days were hard, and not only because she failed a pony that looked up to her. She was worried. She felt as if every time her sister and her friend took a step forward they took another back, and she had immense trouble telling which stride was larger.

Luna was first in her thoughts. Her, and Raegdan a close second. After Luna’s return, and Raegdan’s reaction, she was certain the best thing she could do was to keep him away from Luna. To find they became such friends, so close, was one of the greatest surprises of her life. Then she realised that neither of them really controlled the excesses of the other. Worse, they fed on each other.

She kept a wary eye on them, but was hesitant to do anything more. How could she deny her loved sister the only friend she seemed to ever have? How could she allow Raegdan to wallow alone after Twilight’s and Spike’s loss now that he kept her at arm’s distance?

“You allow him too much, Princess.” How often had she heard that, from how many ponies? Even loyal, trusting Paisley Leaf. None of them knew.

Celestia’s eyes went to her closed balcony door, and her magic pulled the curtain apart. She could see the moon from her bed.

She was looking up at the moon from her seat on the balcony. Celestia was now the only living being in Equestria that remembered how it really looked before the worst time of her long life. Now, all she could really see was the silhouette of an Alicorn. One thousand years had passed, and she still wasn’t sure. Was it her sister looking down at her or the demon mocking her?

The glass behind her rattled as knuckles struck the surface. She opened the door using her magic, not even looking behind her as the biped entered. She pointed at a chair beside her for him to sit.

Only when he was seated did she look at him. Another one that she wasn’t entirely certain about. True, he had done as told, serving as Twilight Sparkle’s guardian in great, if overeager, capacity. There had been fights, and Celestia had heard plenty of complaints, but knowing what she did of the murderous being next to her she would take a few bruises as a sign of astonishing progress.

She only hoped she was right, and didn’t wake up one day to find out how completely wrong she was. For all she knew, this was all a scheme so far. He could be biding his time, learning as much as he could. It was a terrifying prospect, but her only other option was completely unavailable to her.

What if he wasn’t pretending? It was almost as frightening, though for entirely different reasons. Could she really help him? Should she?

“Little one sleep. Guards guard her. Must go back fast, not safe,” Raegdan said, his speech still broken. He knew more words, learning more every day, but this was the best he could do so far. At least he understood better than he talked.

“Twilight will be fine for now. You are not getting out of our weekly meetings,” Celestia warned him.

Raegdan nodded. “Not trying. Want go back still.”

“You will when we are done.” The moon kept pulling at her eyes. She couldn’t resist glancing at it, feeling the pain flare in her heart every time, no less than it was a thousand years ago.

The atrocious evil she had allowed to live noticed what she was doing. He looked up at the moon as well. “Strange moon. You do this?” His hands drew an imaginary copy of the silhouette of the Mare on the Moon in the air.

“No.” She looked back at her greatest failure. “That… was somepony else.”

Raegdan’s eyes locked on her long horn. “Like you?”

“Yes,” she almost whispered, unsure why exactly she was answering him. “My sister.”

He frowned contemplatively. “Not seen her.”

She stopped looking at him and turned her full attention to her sister’s prison. “You wouldn’t have. She’s up there, a prisoner. She… An evil creature took over her. She fought against me. Killed and hurt so many of my ponies, and many others. I tried to stop her, but she was stronger than she had ever been and… my baby sister was in there. In the end I had no other choice but to banish her. I sent her there. She’s been there for a thousand years. Because of me.”

Raegdan stayed silent. Minutes passed like this, the awkward silence slowly becoming companionable. She wondered why she told him this. Thoughts drifted by her head, the alien’s explanations of his losses and the horrible acts he had performed, and she understood what her subconscious had long before. Here was a being that had lost family, and done regretful things, who had failed his flesh and blood and friends.

“Did what had to,” he announced after a while. Celestia was unsure if he was referring to her or him.

“Maybe. Maybe I could have done something else instead.”

“Kill her.”

She was taken aback. “No. No, I could never do that. Never. She’s my sister. At least this way I might have a chance of getting her back someday.”

Raegdan looked fixedly at her. “Comes back. Better than dead.” He bent his head to glare at his hands. “Better than most.”

The Sun Princess stared at his target, then at his face. His eyes were hazy, seeing not his scarred hands, but something different and painful with his mind.

In truth, it wasn’t the first time Celestia had ever breached the topic of her banished sister with somepony, though it always had been a pony and never an alien. She always got disappointed and refused to do so again for decades or even centuries until she tried again, desperate for sympathy and understanding.

She had done so for the first time soon after Luna’s banishment. It hadn’t even been a month. There she was, on a couch, suddenly talking about her sister to three maids that had come to clean her chamber. They listened to her quietly and obediently, not saying a word. Celestia felt she was being cleansed as the words left her. She told them about the moment the Elements struck her sister, the expression she saw and that she revisited every night so far in her dreams. The surprise, fear, and betrayal, etched so clearly on the hated visage that had overtaken her sweet sister’s face. Celestia was so absorbed in the vivid memory as it concluded that she almost missed the vitriolic whispers between them.

“I hope it hurt...”

She send them away at once, and never knew where she found the strength to not rage against them. But she did slam the door on their flanks, at least. For all she knew they had lost family or friends to Nightmare Moon’s rampage… but so had she. She cried bitterly for her lost sister. She was the only one who did.

She tried again, and again, but the same sentiments prevailed. Hate slowly gave way to fear down the centuries, but sympathy and understanding never came despite her yearning. To her ponies the threat of Nightmare Moon reigned supreme, and Luna laid forgotten, uncherished, and unmourned.

Is she coming back? Can you stop her? Can’t you banish her again? And others. Celestia and Nightmare Moon. The good and the bad. Sister against Sister. When she was presented with the first iteration of the Solar Guard, when she was told what their reason for being was, she almost lost her mind.

She allowed it nevertheless, to her great shame. She was also afraid of Nightmare Moon, of allowing her little ponies to remain undefended. But she never forgot Luna.

The last time had been decades ago, with the previous Captain of the Royal Guard of Canterlot. Captain Stampede had immediately focused on defenses and plans. Too late he noticed her crestfallen reaction, and he tried -and she appreciated it later- to remember the loss it was to her, but it was too late. Far too late. She stayed silent once more, and the years passed.

The biped’s head rose, and he stared at the moon, thinking. His mouth opened, and Celestia felt weary of answering the old questions again.

“Can get her back? Truth?” he asked, surprising her.

“I… I don’t know. There’s a small chance,” she answered truthfully after a while, getting over her initial hesitation.

“Need help?”

He had killed more than he could count, even if he had cared to. He was worse than everything she could ever have imagined, than any demon or creature she had ever heard of in myths or stories. He chose to be what he was, and when he lost the people he became a monster to protect, he remained the same. He was rotten almost to the core.

“Why?”

He reached into his pocket, and took out a small wooden box she had given him. He didn’t open it, but traced his fingers over the words he had carved on it. He placed it on his knee, and took out the other one, placing it next to the other.

“Lost them. Failed. Tried and failed. Burn. Hurt.” His eyes met hers. “Don’t have box. Don’t get one. Get her back, do what need and get her back,” he said, his fingers hitting the boxes to illustrate his point. “Need me? Got me. Will help if want. Promise.”

They returned to their silence, watching the moon slowly move, and as it rose on its apex Celestia recognised a change. The dread and uncertainty of her beloved sister’s approaching return was gone for the first time in forever.

“You should go back to Twilight,” Celestia said gently.

“Meeting questions? Warnings?” Raegdan asked, caught by surprise.

Celestia rose and opened the balcony door with her magic, showing him the way out. “I think we’re done with those. I’m sure there will be more, but we can attend to them per individual basis from now on.” She smiled.

Raegdan glanced at her sister’s moon one last time, and nodded encouragingly at her before he left. No questions about what Luna had done or her blame in unleashing Nightmare Moon. As if it didn’t matter. It didn’t. Not to him. Why should it? He had done worse. Nothing that Luna or Nightmare Moon did mattered or registered as far as he cared. Even to one as him, all that he believed was important was…

Celestia stayed awake that night, out on her balcony. She stayed awake and watched the moon with a feeling of tentative hope for the first time.