The Mane Six get a Boyfriend

by Jay David

Chapter 1: The Mane Six get a Boyfriend

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It was a bright and sunny day out in Ponyville, as all in the town were out and about, enjoying themselves wherever they went. The birds were tweeting happily in the skies, and there was a smile on everypony's faces. Indeed, one looked at this place and they couldn't help but feel happy. However, such a calm and peaceful setting can only ever be the prelude to something going wrong, and such was the case today, although, the ones it would occur to where completely in the dark on the matter, at least for now. In the safety of the Golden Oak Library, Twilight Sparkle, student of Princess Celestia herself, was currently engaged in a good book white sitting in her favourite chair. But, all around her, her friends were also present, chatting to each other and just generally enjoying each other's company. Spike, the young dragon in Twilight's care, was going form mare to mare, seeing if they were in need of anything. More often than not, they simply asked for refills for their cups of tea, which the young drake was happy to provide, especially when it was Rarity asking for it. As for the others, they were all doing their own thing, from Rainbow and Applejack hoof-wrestling, to Pinkie and Fluttershy talking about the latter's pets. Unfortunately, this tranquil get-together was soon interrupted by a knocking on the door. Immediately, all the mares looked to it, with Twilight raising her eyebrow.

"Who could that be?"

Wanting an answer to that question, the young unicorn hopped off her chair and placed her book on the side, after which she began to head over to the door. Using her magic, she opened it up, and on the other side, there was one of Ponyville's mail-ponies, a stallion, who gave a smile and a salute before reading off a form in his hoof.

"Miss Twilight Sparkle?"

The young mare nodded at that, prompting the stallion to smile further, before then stepping aside.

"Special delivery, ma'am!"

Looking past him, Twilight's eyes widened somewhat as she saw a very large box beside the guy. It was wooden, quite sturdy-looking, and seemed to bear what looked like air holes, though no sounds came from within. But, it wasn't long before Twilight soon had to pay attention to something else, for there, stuck to the front of the box, was a letter marked with the royal symbol of Princess Celestia. Realising that this was something important, Twilight took the form from the stallion and signed her name on it, formally accepting the delivery. The stallion gave a final tip of his hat before moving off, no doubt going to deliver more mail elsewhere. As for Twilight, she lit up her horn, using her magic to levitate the box and bring it into the library with her, after which she used her hind leg to close the door behind her. Now inside, she gently lowered the box onto the floor, immediately catching the attention of her friends, all of whom began to move towards this mysterious delivery. But, while they did that, Twilight plucked the letter from the box and began to open it. After pulling the letter out in earnest, she started reading the first few lines, after which she gave a brief nod.

"Yep, definitely from the princess."

Hearing that, Pinkie immediately started bouncing up and down.

"Ooh! Ooh! Let me guess! It's your birthday and Celestia sent you a big present, right?"

Twilight chuckled a little and shook her head, prompting Pinkie to ponder things for a moment before gaining another massive smile.

"Then how about a...!"

But, she was prevented from saying anything further when Applejack slapped a hoof over her mouth.

"Why don't we let Twilight say what it is?"

With her friend's hoof still over her mouth, Pinkie considered that before nodding enthusiastically, at which point Applejack finally lowered the hoof. Now guaranteed some silence, Twilight turned to the letter again and began to read it out loud.

"My dearest Twilight, I hope the day treats you well. While you may be expecting some kind of assignment or lesson to learn from me, I'm afraid this correspondence will be a little bit different from what you're used to. You and I have known each other for many years. I have watched you grow from a young filly to a fine mare in your own right. And while there are many things about your development of which I can call myself proud, one area of your life nevertheless remains somewhat, shall we say, under-utilized."

Immediately, the young unicorn looked up from the letter, scouring her mind for whatever the princess could be referring to. She remembered every lesson, every magical theory, every single piece of advice she'd been given over the years, and not one of them seemed to be lacking in her mind. Her friends saw this look on her face and knew immediately what was going on in her head, and as such, simply waited patiently for her to just get back to the letter. Fortunately, they didn't have long to wait, as she soon found herself looking over the lines again.

"The part of your life of which I speak is your...social life?"

As expected, that earned a confused look, not only form Twilight but also from her friends. After all, she had made tremendous progress in becoming more social and friendly over the years, having made many close friends, of which these five mares were only a few. But, as she continued to read, a small blush began to appear on her face, though it was only moments later when her friends began to understand why.

"Specifically...I refer to you lack of...romantic experience."

As Twilight had dreaded, this earned more than a few stifled giggles form her friends, earning them a scornful look from her. But, she did her best to ignore them as she continued.

"Now, I know this can be a difficult thing to discuss, so I've decided to take it upon myself to solve this problem by..."

For a moment, Twilight stopped, and squinted her eyes a little to make sure she'd read that next passage right. In the end, she was sure she had, and so spoke up again in a hushed tone.

"...by sending over somepony to serve as your special companion."

At that, all the laughter stopped, even Pinkie's, and they all turned to the box nearby. Nervously, Twilight took a few steps away from it, all while Rarity walked over and stood beside her.

"She...she didn't, did she?"

But Twilight didn't answer her, instead looking back to the letter.

"But, when I started to think more and more about this, I soon realised that, in all honesty, even your friends could use some help in this matter, so the individual I've brought to you will also serve as their significant other."

Naturally, all heads snapped in her direction after reading aloud that particular passage, with Applejack especially looking somewhat incredulous.

"Erm...beg yer pardon?"

But Twilight simply continued reading, having finally reached the final passage of the letter.

"Further instructions are within. No need to thank me, for I can already imagine the appreciative look on your face right now, and trust me, you're more than welcome. Regards...Princess Celestia."

The good princess may have been many things, but, in this particular instance there was one thing she was not, and that was a mare who could accurately predict others. For in the silence that followed the reading of that letter, Twilight's face had all the colour completely drained from it, as if she'd almost seen a ghost. As for the others, they all looked to each other with utterly flabbergasted looks, half-hoping that this was simply a joke, a practical jest on the part of their beloved princess. But, that hope was soon washed away with the start of a new and sudden sound that took them all by surprise. It was a knocking, except that this time, it did not come from the front door of the library, but rather the large wooden box, causing all of them to take a step back from it. They all looked to each other, silently daring the one closest to them to be the one to actually go over there and open the thing. But, in the end, it was Twilight who elected to do the deed, though she showed clear discomfort in having to do it. Step by step, she approached the box, her friends looking on nervously as she did so, and when she was finally close enough, she lit up her horn, causing a few of the casing's hinges to come undone. With that settled, she took a few steps back, and allowed the now-unbound box to fall open, which it promptly did. When the dust settled from this, the mares looked on with shock at the contents.

It was exactly as Princess Celestia had described in her letter, for there, standing right in the middle of the box's remnants, was a stallion. An earth pony in appearance, his defining colour was that of brown. A light brown coat, dark brown mane, and even darker brown eyes. His cutie mark, as if things weren’t strange enough already, was a simply pink heart, as if announcing to all the world that being a boyfriend was his job or something. Twilight, looking him over, noticing that he had another letter, this time clutched in his mouth, which was odd in itself. But, the one thing nopony here could deny was that the stallion was unquestionably good-looking. He had that look that gave the distinct impression of being right on the line between colthood and stallionhood, giving a youthful attractiveness. On top of that, he was more slender in his frame than most male ponies, giving a somewhat feminine tint to his overall look. And then there was his mannerisms. From the moment he was out of the box, looking at all six of the mares around him, he looked, shy, demure, perhaps even a little embarrassed, with a slight blush on his cheeks to complete the picture. As he stood there, in utter silence, the mares all looked to him with their mouths hanging open, shocked at seeing him. In time, they actually managed to get some words out.

"He's..." Twilight began.

"He's..." Applejack continued.

"He's..." Rainbow added.

"He's..." Fluttershy whispered.

"He's..." Rarity fumbled.

"He's...SO CUUUUTE!!!"

Immediately, all five of the other mares watched with surprise as Pinkie rushed forward, embracing the nervous stallion in a tight hug, practically mashing her cheek against his in a clear display of affection. Although taken aback by the sudden arrival of this energetic mare, the as-yet unnamed stallion soon seemed to return the gesture, closing his eyes and hugging her back, and it was at this point that he dropped the letter in his mouth. While many of their friends watched this get-together with mixed reactions, Rainbow especially seeming amused by it, Twilight kept her eyes on the letter, walking over to it and picking it up with her magic. Like the other, she opened it and began reading, saying the words out loud so all her friends could hear.

"Twilight, if you're reading this, then say hello to your new boyfriend. His name is...Anypony?"

Hearing that, Applejack turned to her and raised an eyebrow.

"Gee, how inventive."

Twilight sighed and nodded in agreement with that before getting back to the letter.

"The first thing you'll need to know about him, my student, is that he is not a natural-born stallion, but rather what the scholars call a homunculus."

Having read that, Twilight's eyes widened with shock as she looked to Anypony, who was still looking more than content while hugging Pinkie. As for her friends, they all looked to her with confusion, with Rainbow speaking up first.

"Er, Twilight? What exactly is a homun...homun...?”

Knowing her friend was struggling with the word, Twilight just up and answered the question pre-emptively.

"Homunculus. It's complicated, but to put it simply...he's a pony born of magic."

That, as expected, earned a look of shock from all of them, with Applejack especially seeming vocal about it.

"Wait...y'all can just make ponies? Like from a spell or something?"

Twilight nodded.

"It's very difficult. Only the best magic users in Equestrian history have ever been able to do it."

Considering that, Twilight let out another sigh.

"Guess Celestia really wanted me to have a boyfriend if she went to all that trouble."

The others all nodded in agreement, prompting Twilight to continue reading.

"As you and your friends are probably wondering, let me explain why I've only made one for the six of you. You see, as you've no doubt guessed, such a creation takes a lot out of you, and as such, I was only able to create one pony. But I doubt it'll be much of an issue for six good friends such as yourselves to share, yes?"

Reading that, Twilight looked to Rarity, who seemed somewhat aghast at that notion.

"What, just share a boyfriend? That seems a little...odd, isn't it?"

But Twilight shook her head.

"I doubt Celestia would see it as a problem. Mares have always outnumbered stallions in Equestria, and way back in our history it was usually expected for stallions to have relations with several mares because of it. Remember, Celestia's several thousand years old, so to her, this is just sticking with tradition. A very, very, very old tradition, but one that still technically exists."

Rarity nodded, showing at least some understanding.

"Hmmm...that's all well and good, but, do you think this is a good idea? I mean...what does he think about it?"

Turning, Twilight looked to Anypony, who was still very much involved with Pinkie at the moment. Seeing that, she let out a brief giggle.

"Well, he's certainly warmed up to one of us at least."

Only now did Pinkie re-join the discussion, breaking away from the stallion and walking over to the others.

"Aw, there's no need to worry about it, girls! Think about it! We all get along great, and sharing a boyfriend will be super fun for us!"

But the others showed clear scepticism at that, all looking to each other with odd glances. They had their reservations, that much was clear, and it wasn't long before Fluttershy added her voice to the mix.

"Um...Pinkie? I'm not sure if I'm comfortable just having a boyfriend right now."

The pink mare looked to her with confusion.

"Aw! But it'll be fun! I mean, you two can hug under a tree and be all sweet and adorable and stuff! Wouldn't that be super-lovey-dovey?"

The look on Pinkie's face made it clear that she was very much into this idea, even though Fluttershy still had her concerns.

"But...I don't think he can even talk. He was made to love us. Doesn't that seem wrong and...and...oh my!"

Unbeknownst to Fluttershy and the others, Anypony had been slowly and innocently walking up to the meek pegasus, and now, without warning, was standing beside her and nuzzling her affectionately. The others were taken aback by this, but Fluttershy's was by far the bigger reaction, as her face erupted into a massive blush, making her look as red as a tomato. As Anypony continued to nuzzle, he managed to, unfortunately, cause an even more embarrassing reaction for Fluttershy, as the feel of the guy caused her wings to involuntarily "pomf" up, much to Rainbow's amusement.

"Wow, Flutters, I never knew you had it in you. You two really seem to be enjoying this."

But Fluttershy was doing her best to ignore the comments of her foalhood friend, as the heat in her cheeks was rising for every single moment the stallion was by her.

"Oh my oh my oh my oh my oh my oh my oh my oh my oh my!"

It was pretty obvious to all of them that their friend was probably going to die of embarrassment over this, so, after chuckling a little, Applejack moved over and gently pulled Anypony off her.

"Okay there, loverboy, y'all have had yer fun. Time ta leave her alone now."

But, to the chagrin of the farm mare, this act had a rather unforeseen consequence, as Anypony then turned to her, nuzzling her in the exact same manner as he'd been doing to Fluttershy mere moments earlier.

"What the...?!"

Yet again, Rainbow couldn't help but chortle at all this.

"Oh, this is priceless! Somepony get my camera!"

Naturally, the farm mare gave her friend a somewhat venomous look after that, while trying her best to get away from the affectionate stallion without having to get too aggressive with him. As for the others, Twilight watched this with some degree of bemusement, as Rarity walked up to her and began whispering.

"Twilight, darling, I know the princess means well, but...she can't possibly expect us to accept this...gift, can she? I mean...does she expect us to just do everything mares and stallions do together? Including...well...you know?"

Immediately, a blush formed on Twilight's face after hearing that, but, before she had a chance to answer, Rainbow walked over to Anypony and, in a move that shocked all of them, lifted up his hind leg and took a look.

"Well, he'll certainly won't be lacking in that department, Rares."

The fashionista looked utterly aghast at her friend’s behaviour, all while Anypony just stood there looking completely neutral about the whole thing. The former though looked to Rainbow with a great frown.

"Rainbow! That is most un-ladylike!"

After a moment though, Rarity darted her eyes left and right for a bit before speaking to her cyan friend in a more hushed tone.

"Um...how good are we talking here?"

But Twilight snapped her head in Rarity's direction after having overheard that.


The alabaster unicorn immediately shook her head, as if to regain her senses.

"Right! Sorry! Wasn't thinking straight!"

The lavender mare sighed and groan at that, after which she gestured to all of her friends, silently signifying them to come over. With a nod, they did just that, leaving Anypony behind, looking to all of them with that innocent and loving look that had been plastered on his face this entire time. He began to walk over to them a couple of times, but a silent gesture from Twilight gave him all the command he needed to stay put. Now free of him, the girls got together in a huddle to start discussing this admittedly massive entry into their lives.

"So...what do we do?" Twilight asked.

"Well, ah fer one don't really feel all that good bout this. Ah mean, he seems real...friendly, ah guess. But it just ain’t right," Applejack answered.

There were looks all around, wherein the mares all reacted in different ways. Fluttershy was very much in agreement with Applejack, though given her earlier trauma, it wasn't hard to predict that. As for Rainbow, she maintained a mischievous smirk on her face, no doubt thinking over what it would be like having a male around that would be utterly devoted to her. However, after seeing that her friends all gave her a somewhat disapproving glance at that, she rolled her eyes and let out a grunt of annoyance before nodding, signifying her agreement. As the mares all looked around, there seemed to be a general feeling of agreement, but it wasn't long before they noticed that one of their number was oddly missing from this line up. Realisation dawned on them as they broke from their group huddle, and many of them turned to look upon a sight that caused them to slap their foreheads with incredulity. Pinkie Pie had, unbeknownst to the group, gone right back to Anypony, and was, at this particular moment, involved in a rather intense-looking make-out session. Seeing this, Fluttershy used her wings to cover her eyes, which Rainbow and Applejack couldn't help but let out a chuckle at. As for Twilight, she let another annoyed grunt before calling out to her friend.


Swiftly, the pink mare pulled her lips off the stallion for a moment, looking a little despondent as she looked to Twilight.

"Aw! But he's so loveable!"

But Twilight shook her head, prompting Pinkie to look a little down at that, for about five seconds, after which she shrugged her shoulders and just bounced away in her usual manner. Shaking her head at this, Twilight walked over to Anypony, who looked at her and patiently waited for whatever it was she had to say. In the end, she did exactly that.

"Sorry, Anypony. But you're not going to be a boyfriend to anyone today."

Hearing that, the stallion looked down to the ground, ears drooping somewhat. It was a sight that tugged at Twilight's heartstrings a fair bit, causing her to look away and grumble a little.

"Curse you for making such an adorable stallion, Celestia!"

Eventually, she shook herself out of that state before walking over to the remnant of the box, using her magic to levitate the invoice that had been attached to the thing.

"Alright then, let's get this box back together and send him back."

Princess Celestia, diarch of Equestria, ruler of the sun, was looking more than a little irritated at this present moment, using her magic to levitate a letter in front of her face, reading it aloud.

"Dear Princess Celestia. While my friends are more than thankful for your "gift" and your interest in helping out our social lives, I'm afraid we must decline. It's not that we don't like the stallion you sent us, we do. It’s just that...well...I don't think any of us really want a boyfriend right now, so we’ve agreed that the best thing to do was to send him back to you. I hope you are not too upset by this. Yours sincerely, Twilight."

Grunting somewhat, Celestia crumpled up the note and threw it into a nearby bin, after which she turned, looking upon the newly-returned stallion who was now standing motionless in her quarters, with an invoice taped to his chest. Every once in a while he'd smile and wave to her, though she did not smile back.

"This is just perfect! And I was really hoping that I'd actually be able to succeed at setting somepony up for a romance this time. Ugh, I can just see Cadence's smug face right now. I'm sure she's prepared a speech about interfering in love already written up and in her desk somewhere."

Raising a hoof to her temples, she began to rub them slightly to relieve some of the stress.

"And now I’m stuck with a homunculus I don't want! Who am I possibly going to dump him on?"

As if the universe heard her, the window-doors of her chamber opened, causing her to look in their direction. Although taken aback at first, she watched with some surprise as her sister, Princess Luna, began to gracefully fly inside.

"Sister! I hope the night treats you well! I just came to let you know that all is well in...Equestria...tonight?"

The lunar princess was halted from continuing the moment she saw the look on her sister's face. It was one of pure mischief, and immediately caused the younger alicorn to back away slightly.

"Whatever you're planning...I'm not going to like it, am I?"

Next Chapter: A Boyfriend Without a Girlfriend Estimated time remaining: 26 Minutes
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