That was how things started with Swirling Breeze. A single passionate encounter led into so many more over the next few months. I never let it get in the way of my schedule, but Swirly and I kept up with each other's schedules well enough to slip in a little 'us time' if I were home alone. Still, it didn't last.

Things between her and I weren't serious, I mean not in the 'totally gonna give a serious relationship a shot' kind of way. She taught me a lot, and I got to experience plenty of different things with her, but all good things come to an end. Even good things that have you making it about halfway through the Kamare Sutra before your lessons end.

Unbeknownst to her, she showed me the value of just being myself with someone I'm interested in, instead of twisting them around my hoof with my mind magic. There was something satisfying about not cheating my way into her non-existent pants, and I'm sure that if she knew what I was capable of, she'd appreciate the gesture. After running away screaming.

In any case, it was only around four months of screwing around before she met a really nice stallion in the accounting department of the castle. I didn't really know him very well, I only met him once while she and I were out getting lunch after my sparring time with the Royal Guard, but he seemed nice enough. She actually introduced me to him in hopes that I'd approve.

That was really sweet of her, when you think about it. We were just two ponies screwing around with each other, but she considered it intimate enough that she'd actually seek my counsel on him before moving forward. Once she and I got some private time again, we sat down and talked it out like two grown, mature ponies should, and I made it clear that if she felt like he might be worth it, she should go for it.

She gave me a tight hug and thanked me, and it didn't really need to be said for either of us to acknowledge that that was the end of our sexual escapades. Feisty little sexpot she may be, but she never seemed like the kind of mare to be disloyal, if monogamy's what she's aiming for. I was happy for her, in all honesty.

Doesn't mean that I wouldn't miss that sweet ass of hers, with her forelegs tied to my headboard and a gag in her mouth...ahem.

Without her there to give me a proper distraction, I threw myself into my studies more. I had more time to train my magical aptitude, dedicate myself to my combat training with the Royal Guard, and of course I had more time for Spike now. He'd grown past his little rebellious phase by the time I turned sixteen, and with all of these things keeping me occupied, I found myself dedicating less and less time to my...plans.

I had a few things in place, but they would take time to implement. I wasn't old enough for a lot of the things I wanted to do, and I didn't have the kinds of contacts I used to have. However, I'd made it this far, and I was a patient mare. I could wait...or so I thought.

As my life made a heel-turn, I progressively found it harder and harder to justify the things I wanted to do. I had a son to take care of, I was a high-profile pony that pretty much everyone in Canterlot knew about, and similar to my brother, I had the respect of the Royal Guard. Not to the extent he did, but those more in-the-know knew they shouldn't underestimate me just because I'm legally a cripple. Many of the Magus respected my magical talents as well, and I got several offers to be inducted as one of them. I always refused.

I tried not to think about it too much, and settled with the idea that planning any further now would be pointless without better context of what I'd be capable of once I reached the age of sixteen. I kept myself occupied instead with taking care of Spike and building upon the relationships I already had with my brother, Cadance and Celestia, along with the nobility that seemed to be rather fond of me.

Of course they were. I was Princess Celestia's protege. Fucking parasites.

Unfortunately, one of those parasites included Prince Blueblood, the most disgusting snake of a stallion I've ever met. My loathing of him was twofold however, because he seems to think he's so good at hiding it, and to be fair the mouth-breathers that call themselves the cream of the crop of Equestria don't seem to know unless he wants them to, but he's in the pocket of the Mafia. Add that little factoid to the fact that he was a pompous, lazy, mysoginistic two-faced backstabbing piece of shit limp-dicked son of a whore-!!

I apologize for that. I'm not prone to losing my cool, but when I do, I tend to explode. Probably all those repressed emotions.

He hit on me a lot. I mean almost every day, and I can't fully explain just how annoying it was. The days when I wasn't at the castle, few that they were, were the only days I actually got away from him, and even the coldest of withers didn't deter him when I was around him!

It wasn't like he didn't get it, he just doesn't understand the idea of a mare not wanting anything to do with him. Mares looking to climb the social ladder throw themselves at him all the time, and he never turned down the chance, not behind closed doors anyways. He was royalty, he did what he wanted. Honestly I'm amazed I haven't been drugged in the middle of the night, hauled off to his room and raped yet. He seems like the type when he doesn't get what he wants.

Of course it's also possible that he wanted to get with me for publicity's sake. Being Celestia's student tends to make you very popular, and royalty deserves only the best there is to offer! That includes deserving the delights other ponies can offer them. Ugh, the very thought makes me shiver with disgust....

In any case, it was shortly after I turned sixteen that things changed in my life, yet again. Spike was a year older, he was showing remarkable fluency for his age, and Shining was becoming a bit less secretive about the burgeoning relationship between himself and the Princess of Love. I could understand why they were being a bit more discreet, much like how certain members of the nobility were all over me because of my own status. Shining suddenly being outed as Cadance's coltfriend would put him in the middle of a very large, very bright metaphorical spotlight that he wouldn't be able to escape from unless he dumped her. I'm very sure neither of them wanted that to happen for any reason.

The biggest change, however, started rather innocently. I'd pulled a few books from the castle's library for some independent reading (which also happened to be studying for me), and one of them was an old history book that seemed like it hadn't gotten much attention in years. Seriously, this thing was dusty when I opened it up!

Once I gave it a casual read-through though, several things popped out at me. Old history about Discord seemed inconsistent with other books I'd read, but far more intriguing to me was the reference to the Mare in the Moon. There was almost nothing there about her, just legends and old tales, with a reference to an old mare's tale at the bottom of the last page that talked about her!

Discord was indeed a real person, any scholar in the castle knew that. The Mare in the Moon though...that was another matter. I knew the old mare's tale from back when I was a little filly, a thin book hidden away among my growing collection, something my brother picked up for me for my fifth birthday so he could read it to me. Why would that be mentioned in history books, but only be labeled as a legend?

It was a story of a sister spurned by her subjects, cast away in the shadow of the radiant Celestia, whom all the ponies adored. She fell to the doubts, insecurities and bitterness welling up inside of her, and became Nightmare Moon, the Bringer of Eternal Night! Epic stuff, when you really think about it. Can you imagine the kind of slow, painful, starving death we'd all be in for if Equestria and the entire world were bathed in nothing but moonlight for the rest of our days? The world would devolve into anarchy!

When I was a little filly, I never questioned this. But now, looking at this foal's book listed in one of the castle's history books...I began to grow suspicious. What would a legend that was regarded as merely an old mare's tale be doing in a history book dating all the way back to the Reign of Discord? No self-respecting scholar would put a history book together for the royal library and list a foal's book as a reference, either!

Some would call me paranoid. I say I grew up counting on paranoia to keep me alive when I was carrying fairly large packages of drugs for the Mafia, and knowing when I needed to back out of a really bad deal that was going ten different kinds of wrong. I needed to know when someone needed to die before they put a slug in me, and maybe I did kill some ponies that had no intention of killing me...but I was better off safe rather than sorry. Or dead. Or both.

I began to dig, but even more suspiciously, I could find nothing else about the Mare in the Moon. I pored over numerous old tomes, older than the book I'd found the legend in. Normally if something's in one history book, you can find references to the same subject in others, but I found absolutely zilch. Either this old legend wasn't deemed all that interesting by historians, or this was the cleanest historical whitewash I'd ever seen...not that I'd seen many.

I contemplated asking Celestia, but I'm sure I wasn't the first to ask her about it. The story makes a direct reference to her having a sister after all, that's not exactly a small thing! If I asked her...would she become suspicious of me? Would she brush it off?

Would she use mind magic to erase any memory of it?

I tend to have a standing order of thought when it comes to Celestia: assume she has mind magic, make room for the possibility that she uses it, do not let my guard down, and never test that theory. It's just safer that way. Mind magic had to come from somewhere, and while I doubt she's the source of such dark magic, back then laws were very different. Specifically, they didn't exist because other things were deemed more important. It wouldn't shock me if she learned it just as a defense against, well...ponies like me.

The very head of Equestria itself cannot afford to have her mind tampered with.

I needed more information before I ever even considered confronting her with this. I needed to do more research, ranging back over a thousand years. That meant really digging into the archives. Not that I had a problem with that, it's just that a pony spending lots of time in the archives tends to garner a lot of attention from ponies that might wonder where she's been...such as Celestia.

Still, I was apparently discreet enough to avoid drawing her attention to myself. Instead, the archivists just took a distinct interest in my subject matter, though they seemed amused by it. I guess I wasn't the first pony they'd seen researching a dead-end subject that'd been explored numerous times before, always to the same final conclusion.

Still, there was something there, I just needed to find it. Then I stumbled across information regarding the old abandoned castle in the Everfree Forest, once the lone bastion for all ponies seeking audience with the Sun Goddess. Ponies don't worship her now like they did back then, likely because she encouraged them not to over the years, but the fact remains that that's one of the few remaining structures that she once called home.

The Everfree Forest was a very dangerous place, however. Ponies went missing in or near it all the time, to the point that false rumors have become accepted as truth by many superstitious ponies out there.

'Ponies that go in, never come out!'

'The trees try to eat you!'

'The weather works all on its own there!'

Well okay, that last one is true. Still, that's the only one I put any stock in, and if that's all I really have to worry about as long as I'm well-prepared and careful, then this shouldn't be too difficult to manage. However, there was one large obstacle that got in the way of everything: I had no reason to go to Ponyville.

Sure, I liked to wander. I needed to in order to evaluate Mafia activities and keep myself up-to-date on everything, but ever since I became Celestia's protege, I've had no time to go visit Manehattan, or Trottingham, or the abysmal Stalliongrad. I've been doing nothing but schmultzing with the nobility and gaining a reputation in Canterlot as the most studious mare in Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns, and I didn't even take classes there, Celestia was my teacher!

I needed a good reason to go there, and I had a good idea, but I had to have patience. This Summer Sun Celebration would mark the thousandth year since Nightmare Moon's banishment, so it all worked out...very conveniently. Suspiciously so. I brought up the subject of the Summer Sun Celebration with Celestia, and long story short, I worked it around so I'd be taking care of setting it up in Ponyville. Not like it was difficult, she trusts me implicitly, and she knows I'm capable. My organizational skills are unparalleled!

After that, it was just a matter of time. I prepared my things accordingly, made sure to pick up my standing prescription of painkillers, made sure to have everything I needed for Spike...hrm. Should I take him with? I wasn't sure. What I had in mind, it would've been bad to take him with, even though I'm very sure I could keep him safe, even in the Everfree.

I'm sure I could get a foalsitter if I really needed to. I was quite fond of having him around, especially when working on research projects.

When the day finally came, I was ready. The eve of the Summer Sun Celebration, and I was responsible with making sure everything was prepared and ready by the time Celestia arrived. Spike and I rode together on a pegasus-drawn chariot, the wind whipping through my mane while he laughed and spread his arms, as if he were soaring through the skies of his own volition! He almost seemed disappointed when we touched down in Ponyville, though the drastically different surroundings had his youthful curiosity piqued.

I looked around while the guards accompanying me waited for me to dismount from the chariot, their calm and relaxed posture betraying the coiled springs they both were on the inside. If anything came at us right now, they'd have us in the air in seconds and back to Canterlot within mere minutes. But, as I stepped down and evaluated my surroundings, I came to the very quick conclusion that we had little to nothing to worry about.

Ponyville. Idyllic, peaceful, and lacking the hoity-toity mentality of the big cities, it was the very definition of 'rural-as-fuck'. Cottage-like buildings interspersed with the occasional family business, like Quills & Sofas or that...bowling alley. Pins and Balls, maybe? That's what I'm getting from the sign over the door that has no actual words whatsoever. How the heck do they list themselves in the phone book?!

"Pink pony, over there!" Spike said, pointing at the fluff-maned pony coming our way without a care in the world.

She embodied the very essence of pink more than any pony had a right to, the mare looking like a cotton-candy-colored pony with a mane consisting of a much darker mass of the most fluffy and tangled candy floss you've ever seen. I could almost taste her sugary-sweetness from here.

Spike grabbed my attention by leaning down to rummage through one of the saddlebags on my sides, shifting the things I'd brought with to find the scroll I'd made with pictures of each of the five ponies I needed to check in with. Each of them had their own attractive features just based on physical appearance, but that wasn't my main focus at the moment. I'd check in with them, make sure everything was okay, and if nothing actually happened and everything went off without a hitch, I'd make a discreet excursion for a week to the old castle with Spike.

He unrolled the scroll and pointed to the picture labeled 'Pinkie Pie' on it, then pointed to the pronking young mare headed our way. "It's her!"

Indeed it was. I wasn't immediately sure because I hadn't memorized their pictures, but that was definitely Pinkie Pie. Oh, this should be fun, judging by the kind of energy she seemed to have. I approached her while she hopped my way, and even though her eyes were closed in a wide and genuine smile, she seemed aware of my presence in front of her, and she stopped, still hopping in place. Spike found it amusing, and laughed quietly while looking at her from over my wither.

"Hello, miss! My name is-" I tried to say, but her sudden interruption stifled my attempts at common courtesy.

A loud and excessively wide-mouthed gasp emitted from her, and I could swear in that single moment she actually sucked the oxygen from immediately around both of us. Plus, the way she was seeming to float in the air directly in front of me was a bit...disturbing, considering she's an earth pony. I blinked a few times and she suddenly darted away in the opposite direction where she'd come from, my mouth hanging open in utter bewilderment while Spike patted me on the side of my neck.

"She was strange." he muttered.

"Yes, Spike. Yes she was."

I shook it off and looked back to him with a smile. "So, that was Pinkie Pie, we'll check in with her later. Who's next on the list?"

He looked at the pictures and seemed to struggle with the name for a moment. A lot of ponies underestimated him because of his age, he was only four years old after all, no one would normally expect him to actually be a competent assistant by this point. I encouraged it, he really was enthusiastic about helping me, and since I home-schooled him in my free time, he and I spent a whole lot of time together every day. Really, he should be out and about finding himself a few friends of his own....

After a short few moments, he perked up with a smile. "Applejack! At, um...Sweet Apple Acres."

He was remarkably fluent for his age too! I had myself a little genius in the making right here!

It was easy to figure out where Sweet Apple Acres was, given it's the only apple orchard in the entire town. The distinct scent of freshly-tilled dirt and trees began to permeate the air as we stepped past the front gates, the distant sound of hooves clonking against wood able to be heard even all the way where Spike and I were. Then there was the scent of manure...eugh.

Many ponies consider us unicorns racist or unwilling to do hard work because we have a bit of an aversion to farms. That is incorrect. It's more accurate to say that we will do some of these things if we have to, we simply won't enjoy them the way earth ponies inherently do. We lack that connection to the ground that earth ponies have, we can't channel magic through our hooves and 'get a feel' for the grass and trees. Of course that's a generalization, I'm sure there are unicorns out there that don't have a problem working on farms. I just haven't met one.

Then there's some of the things that are necessary on farms. Like spreading manure over the crops. I mean, just...okay. I have spoken to cows before. They are intelligent, pseudo-sapient creatures, I have been on a farm or two before. Yet, they are completely gung-ho about us chugging down their milk that we tug out of their udders and spread their shit around our fields!

I would just really like to know where this relationship between earth ponies and bovines began. What earth pony approached some cows and said 'Hey there ladies, mind if I take the milk out of your udders and drink it while gathering your poop, processing it, and then muck-spraying it over my fields?' I mean I suppose we could just use our own crap, but...hm. Okay, I can't decide if that's more or less disturbing than using cow poop.

Even worse, what cows agreed to this?! There had to be experiments to determine if cow poop functioned as a good fertilizer, so what in Tartarus?! Don't even get me started on just how accepting all of us are about it either! Even I drink milk, it's just something I grew up with, and after visiting a farm for the first time I seriously considered swearing off of it. But then, chocolate milk. Plus Spike loves the stuff.

In any case, while I was lost in idle thoughts, someone approached us, waving all the way. Behind her, a fairly large homestead stood tall and weathered, but remarkably sturdy. I idly wondered how often they rebuilt parts of it, not to mention that huge barn in the distance, closer to the orchard. Somepony on this farm had to be a skilled carpenter to keep up with all this...either that or they outsourced, but knowing the Apple Family, I didn't consider that likely.

They were in that uncanny valley of fame, where everyone knew their name, but no one really knew anything about them because they're so huge and hard-working and perfect that they make for boring news coverage. Chances are you only really knew about them if you subscribed to certain magazines, and those magazines aren't largely popular in the big cities. I only knew about them because once upon a time, I traveled a ton.

I can guarantee that at some point in your life, if you've ever eaten an apple in Equestria, there's over a ninety-percent chance it was from an Apple Family orchard.

The blonde-maned mare that approached me could only be the one I was looking for. Spike made sure to point her out on the scroll, and I simply gave him a quick nod and turned my attention back to the pony trotting down the path to meet me halfway.

"Howdy there, ma'am! You that pony the Princess sent ta make sure everythin's good n' ready?"

Oh gawd, the accent. The accent was adorable! Somehow I don't think she'd appreciate anyone calling her that though, so I just shook it off while Spike gave her a quizzical look from over my wither. They stared at each other for the briefest of moments, and I looked between them before turning my body just a little to break her line of sight with him. I didn't like how she was just staring at him, okay?

She blinked and smiled at us. "Well whaddaya know? A lil' dragon!"

Spike kept hold of my mane while leaning off to one side, enthusiastically waving to her. "Hi!"

He'd grown quite accustomed to the fact that he was unique, and given no one really ostracized him for what he was, well...he had a bit of an ego, even at his age. He just soaked up the attention. I had to keep an eye on him in that regard, I couldn't let his greed get out of control at such an early age.

Applejack simply waved back at him. "Where'd ya get a cutie like him from?"

"Oh, I hatched him." I said, clearing my throat. "You're Applejack Apple, correct?"

"Eeyup! Head mare of Sweet Apples Acres, at yer service!"

I nodded and smiled faintly, holding a hoof out to her. "My name's Twilight Sparkle, and I-"

The sudden vigorous and rough jostling of my foreleg quickly changed my understandable speech into an unintelligible, rattling mess as my entire body began to shake under the sheer force of her hoof shaking my own.

"Nice ta meetcha, Twilight Sparkle! Yer just in time, the last of our family showed up earlier, and we've been busy cookin' up all the food for tomorrow," she said, turning and motioning for me to follow her. "Care ta come see?"

I nodded and we followed her to an open area between the house and the barn, several picnic tables laid out all over along with elderly mares sewing and numerous ponies working at cooking various delicious treats and foods. The smell in the air was overpowering, and my stomach growled in realization that, yes, I had not eaten breakfast despite preparing food for Spike, because he's a garbage-gut. Little chubster just wolfs it all down! Me, I just tend to not be hungry when I first wake up, or when my mind's pre-occupied with other things I've deemed more important.

It wasn't long before they noticed me, and then noticed my son. The Apple Family was massive! They began to crowd around Spike and I, fawning over him while he sat there on my back, wide-eyed and unsure of what to do under so many squee'ing adults. My guards opted to try to get them to back away, but it was still a huge crowd.

"A'right everyone, simmer down! Actin' like ya never seen a little kid before."

Applejack moved through the gathered crowd to give us some breathing room, much to my relief. Spike liked attention, but give him too much and he can really start getting nervous. Young, nervous dragons plus lots of soft, fleshy, flammable ponies isn't something anyone wants to be in the middle of.

I tried not to waste too much time there. I had a schedule to keep, but I'd learned very early in life that you must always be prepared for that schedule to be shattered where other ponies were involved. Given how eager the entire family was to have us stick around to try out their tasty treats, it was hard to say no to them.

Then little Apple Bloom happened.

Let's make something clear, I'm not some soft bitch. It takes a real tear-jerker of a sob story to make me truly give a shit, and even then I might just dismiss it entirely. Children are cute, but thanks to Spike I've built up quite a bit of disillusionment and tolerance for the raw adorableness they can convey, in their inexperienced naivete. But Apple Bloom?

Hnngh! Hnngh! Oh sweet Celestia my fucking heart! That's the kind of weapons-grade cute that makes veteran guards die from heart failure!

I had no choice but to agree, if only to save myself from the adorable onslaught that was Apple Bloom and her huge glossy eyes of adoracute doom and pouty lip of...pouty-ness. What? They can't all be zingers, sue me.

I couldn't keep track of all the plates that were presented to me, but let me just say that I think I've eaten enough apples to keep the doctors away for the rest of my life...wait. Wait, that sounded dirty without context. You know what I mean! Apple cobblers, apple pies, apple dishes that I think had no business having apples in them at all...so many apples!

Spike practically swallowed whatever was put in front of him. Lots of ponies think dragons just have some kind of magical furnace that burns up anything they eat, but that's obviously not true, they just have extremely powerful stomach acids that become chemically inert when they're exposed to open air. Watching him eat like he was though, I could see why most uneducated ponies would think that. I had to take him into the house to wash off his face and his scales before we left.

I sent the guards away after that, since they were still carrying my luggage, both of them heading back to the library. They resisted, it was their job to resist the idea of leaving their charge unattended, but ultimately they knew I could handle myself. I've sparred with them before. I could take them, let alone some hostile bumpkin in a small town!

Eating so many apple-filled foods had given me a stomachache, one I wish I'd had time to take a nap and sleep off, but I had a job to do and things to look into personally. Spike was just starting to catch a nap on my back when I suddenly found myself blindsided from behind by someone.

She was fast. I heard her coming even without any kind of warning, but even with my tweaked senses I couldn't get out of the way fast enough. Plus, I didn't want to send Spike tumbling off of my back by dodging away too quickly.

I barely managed to step back enough to mostly take the impact to the back of my head and neck. The sudden jostle made Spike cry out in alarm as his comfy, fuzzy napping spot fell out from under him, and I found myself front-first in a rather large puddle of mud and dirty water. I could feel a weight pressing down over my withers, pinning my face in the water, and my instincts made me buck and shuffle my hooves to push up.

She got off of me before I could really throw her off, and I pulled my face up out of the muddy water with an air-hungry gasp, sucking in a breath and panting heavily as my lungs rapidly caught up with my body's desire for oxygen.

She had the nerve to laugh. She actually had the ovaries needed to think it was okay to laugh at shoving Canterlot nobility into the mud! I may despise the nobility, but there are a few of them that actually do their fucking jobs like I do and serve the public instead of having it the other way around! The assholes get off scot-free and I get a faceful of mud. Sounds about right.

Guh, maybe this was a bit more exhausting than I thought. Then again, I was feeling drowsy from eating all that food and frustrated from having my entire schedule ruined. At least I managed to get myself under control before I exploded at her. That sort of thing's unpleasant for anybody. Plus, she was the next pony on the list I needed to meet with, and antagonizing her would've been a bad idea.

Then she flew up and grabbed a raincloud and doused both myself and Spike in cold water to rinse us off. Admittedly it worked, but now my suit and myself were both utterly soaked, and I didn't have a proper change of clothes on-hoof. Plus, I was still sitting in a puddle of slightly more watered-down mud now, which wasn't helping matters. Thank goodness I have spells that can-

"Oops! Guess I overdid it," I heard her say from up above, atop her cloud. "Um, lemme just...oh! Here we go!"

Oh, no. No no no no no no no-!

The sudden whirlwind gust around me began to whip the air around Spike and myself, and I quickly held him down with my magic so she didn't send him flying with her recklessness. I could feel the water getting sucked out of my suit and my fur, but not completely. All that pegasus magic at work, and it did a decent enough job. Not good enough, however.

My suit was still damp, my underwear was probably going to start chafing if I started walking around again, and above all else, being covered in moist clothes is just plain uncomfortable. I just gave her a dirty look while she snickered and covered her muzzle with a hoof.

...Aaand she was laughing again. What was so funny? Apparently Spike found it hilarious as well, since he fell off of my back laughing, though whether that was because of whatever was so funny at the time or if it was Rainbow's raucous laughter is up for debate. Also, he was covered in mud now. Grand.

I stepped calmly out of the mud puddle and took a few deep breaths before letting them out. Spike was still rolling in the mud, I'm guessing because the mud felt good on his scales. Dragons liked that sort of thing, it helped them keep cool.

I turned my ire towards the pegasus mare once again, before silencing my inner frustrations and pulling the scroll out of my saddlebag...which was also wet. Fantastic! Great! My horn lit up a bit brighter as a focused breeze began to swirl around me and through my fur and suit, making it billow just a little. Once I had myself positioned just right, I spread my stance out a little and made the breeze speed up, rushing through my clothes and fur like a blowdryer on steroids.

"So! Judging by your mane and tail," I said over the noise of the winds, unrolling the dampened scroll to quickly confirm who she was. "Youuuu...are Rainbow Dash."

The sudden bright and cocksure grin said it all, and some part of me immediately didn't like her. It's not very wise to judge anyone by first impressions, but I got the distinct impression that Rainbow Dash was the kind of pony you could take at face value. Time proved that I was both right and wrong in this assessment.

"THE one and only! Why?" she asked, fluttering into the air and getting in my face. The excitement in her eyes was palpable. "Ya heard of me?"

I pushed a hoof against her snout and urged her to back off, frowning. "Only once I was tasked with this job. I'm Twilight Sparkle, that is my son Spike," I said, motioning to the little dragon that was now playing in the mud. "And you have not done your job."

"Pff, what?! I'm the weather manager in this town for a reason, miss Twilight Sparkle," she exclaimed, fluttering up to grab her cloud and recline on it. "I'm just gettin' some stunt practice in before I get back to work. Nice perk of bein' in charge, know what I mean?"

"No, I don't, because I get my work done before I indulge myself in liesure activities, for the most part," I stated firmly, then shrugged. "But, whatever. It's gonna get done, right?"

She just gave me a dirty look. "Hey, I get my work done! Ponyville's got such a clean record of weather care since I became the manager, you could eat your dinner off of it."

I looked around at the sky, rapidly counting off over thirty-seven clouds lingering in just this aerial zone of Ponyville.

"Well, guess I'll take your word for it."

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?!" she said, getting all flustered and in my face again.

I shrugged and pulled my cigar case out of the side pocket of my suit, examining it to see if any water got inside. "Nothing really. I just don't believe you, that's all. But, as long as it gets done, it's none of my business how you do things."

She didn't seem to hear that last part. Instead, she just snorted and got in my face again, which this time actually irked me.

"I could clear this sky in ten seconds flat, prissy-pants." she said to me, her words laced with venom. Clearly I'd struck a nerve.

"Prove it then."

She didn't even hesitate. One moment she was there, then she was gone, her contrail the only sign of where she went. Even Spike was paying attention as she bolted around the clouds, kicking and bucking and chopping them with her forelegs to make them dissipate and disperse. I was counting the entire time.

I was actually shocked when she finished at exactly ten seconds. Well, almost that is, but basically ten seconds. I restrained my awe and simply nodded to her, and she just gave me this smug smile, casually kicking the cloud she'd been reclining on earlier to scatter it into the air.

"See? What'd I tell ya?" she said, crossing her forelegs over her chest. "Ten. Seconds. Flat."

Years of experience in keeping my bucking mouth shut told me that telling her she was somewhere between five and ten milliseconds over would be a bad idea and just dampen the mood, so I simply smiled at her and nodded. Even I need to eat humble pie every now and then. Really keeps a pony regular, heh.

"Indeed, you're correct! You did manage it," I said, bowing my head to her. "I apologize for doubting you."

She rubbed the back of her head nervously, unwilling to meet my gaze. "Y-yeah, sure, it's fine. I know not everypony can be as awesome as I am, so it's not surprising you wouldn't believe me," she said, and I nodded in agreement. Then, to my surprise, she showed some humility as well, something I never expected from a pony like her. "Uh, I'm sorry for flyin' into you like that. Totally didn't mean to, I swear. We cool?"

I looked down at her outstretched hoof and clopped mine against it, nodding. "We cool."

Things went fairly well after that, though by the time my suit was dry, there were mud stains on it and Spike was...utterly covered in the stuff, wonderful. Rainbow had it under control though, got some permission to use a hose to wash Spike off from a nearby house, then pointed out where I could find the next pony on my list.

Conveniently, she was a seamstress. Someone I definitely needed if I was going to be wearing something even remotely similar to this around town. Then again, I had a spare outfit at the library that I could just change into, after a quick shower...yes, that would be a good idea. Spike could use a quick bath too, a proper one instead of a hosing.

With him sitting on my back and waving at ponies all the way, I headed for the rather unique library. Golden Oaks.

Author's Notes:

This took longer than I would've liked, but I'm moving into a new house, so...yeah.

For those that would like to know what song I was listening to when I came up with this story idea, just listen to this song:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLiKtMJaJoY