There's something to be said for falling asleep next to someone that you're at least remotely comfortable sharing a bed with. Considering I was more than willing to sleep with Fluttershy, it was that much better, especially since she was the cuddly sort in her sleep. Made getting up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom without waking her difficult, though.

Then Spike had a hard time falling asleep because a lot of the small animals were watching him through a portion of the night. Dragons can see better than ponies in the dark, not to any extreme degree like cats or dogs, but enough that he could probably see the squirrels and cats staring at him. So of course, as you could probably predict...it wasn't too long into the night before I heard him walking upstairs and knocking on the door to Fluttershy's room. The slow creak roused both of us from slumber, myself much faster than Fluttershy. I'm not the type to get caught off-guard in bed.

"Mom...can I sleep with you tonight?"

Spike stood in the doorway, looking between the two of us curiously. As I've mentioned, he's quite observant, and while we'd discussed how I'd have to share a bed with my friend, that didn't really explain why Fluttershy was all curled up with her head laying over my chest. She made a point of extricating herself from my person as quick as she could, but that probably just made us look all the more guilty.

"Why was she hugging you?" he asked, walking towards the bed.

"Oh! Well, um...." I began to say, still trying to get my brain going after being woken up.

"I, er, I actually have a habit of being very...um, cuddly, when I'm sleeping." Fluttershy said slowly.

I could almost hear the gears cranking overtime in her head. Her slow and deliberate manner of speech, combined with the obvious drowsiness, made it clear to me that almost every word just barely processed before she said it. I counted myself lucky that she didn't flat-out say 'Your Mom ate me out before bed, and that made me wanna snuggle up to her'.

Fortunately, Spike was more than accepting of that excuse, and since Fluttershy had quite the sizeable bed, there was no problem letting him sleep with us. You can bet that Fluttershy had some words with her animals the next morning though. They knew they were bothering him, and I really didn't blame him at all for being freaked out by it. Sleeping in a strange home, alone, surrounded by animals that are in reality just very curious about you, but they won't stop staring at you? Yeah. That's some freaky shit.

Waking up to see Spike captured in Fluttershy's forelegs with no way of escape was rather amusing, though. Especially when he started begging me for help because he really really needed to pee.

Fluttershy was a fairly heavy sleeper, as long as she wasn't jostled around too much. I found that out rather quickly, and that struck me as odd because I know I could never sleep easy in a house full of animals, kind or otherwise. It was pretty difficult to wake her up while Spike was in the bathroom, and she only roused when I poked her a few times and nipped at her ear.

The three of us took the time to make ourselves presentable. Spike checked his scales and brushed his teeth with us, then offered to help Fluttershy make breakfast. At least this time I could stomach some eggs, something a bit more substantial than toast and jam. No little rabbits hovering around stomping all over it either.

That didn't stop him from harassing Spike a little before I stepped between them. He wisely backed down after that. Perhaps he'd remembered the last time I'd visited, and he had no desire to get on my bad side? He was a spoiled brat, but at least he was smart enough to know he shouldn't be biting the hoof that fed him. Then again, I could've just let Fluttershy see him messing with my son, and it would've been back to the cage without his carrot once more.

With breakfast taken care of, I opted to help Fluttershy with her morning routine. She was putting Spike and I up in her home without charging, at the very least I could compensate her by making her daily chores go by faster. Spike decided to pitch in as well, right up until he found himself getting chased around by chickens and Fluttershy had to get them to leave him alone. Then she took time to teach him how to get the eggs from them and set their food out without them coming after him, but I also made a point to remind him that he had thick, strong scales all over his body and they couldn't possibly hurt him. Obviously, my reassurances did not ease his fears.

Fortunately, with the three of us working together, things got done fairly quick, and Fluttershy had time to catch up on her reading with the animals. I was going to take Spike into town for a visit with Rarity since she wanted to have tea, but he was more interested in listening to the story Fluttershy wanted to tell. There was something almost fairy tale-esque about seeing my son sitting there with a bunch of small animals listening to someone read Snow White and the Seven Breezies.

Since I had nowhere in particular to be, I took the time to find a nice spot away from where Fluttershy and her animals were, and I conjured up a construct to train with. I hadn't had much of a chance to really exercise lately, and controlling a construct as my sparring partner was the perfect chance to flex my brain alongside my body. I mean, outside of fucking Fluttershy into the mattress. I guess that technically counts as exercise if you look at it from a certain perspective.

I rose up onto my hindlegs and my construct did the same. I weaved thoughts, orders into it, and poured more magic into it to make it more sturdy, all standard for something that was meant to last beyond just a few hard hits. I gave it simple orders: fight me, and try to land hits on me. Nothing lethal, nothing long-lasting. I could have done more, but I was here to sweat and feel my body burn, not form a rudimentary consciousness.

Have you ever tried patting your belly and rubbing the top of your head at the same time? Try doing it while jogging, and you'll have an idea of what it's like to spar your own construct. While I had no control over the moves it made, I had to maintain my magic while ducking, dodging and weaving every jab and hook it threw at me.

We darted around each other, my magic fueling the construct as it stepped swiftly to my left and right, trying to get around my guard. It attempted to grab me several times, and each time I slipped away from it at the last moment, just before it could really clinch down on me, not that it would win in a test of strength.

By the time I stopped to take a break and catch my breath, I'd attracted a small crowd myself. Several squirrels from a nearby tree were standing up to get a clearer view of what was going on, and Angel was standing off to the side, staring at me in confusion. Most of them seemed a bit frightened even as I dismissed the construct and let it fall apart into nothing, but he just seemed...intrigued.

I sat down in the grass and quirked a brow at him. "What? Never seen a unicorn spar with herself?"

He tilted his head and squeaked a few things at me, then ran off to do whatever it is testicle-attacking rabbits do in their free time. No, I'm never letting that go! He kicked me in my nuts! There are things you don't do to male genitalia, and that's like...right there at the top!

I left my little sparring area with a light sheen of sweat on my fur and a warm burn in my muscles, though that last one was more than welcome. The sweat was just an unfortunate side-effect of my exercise. The ache in my hindleg wasn't very welcome either, and it seemed like today was going to be one of those days. The kind of day where walking was going to be a literal pain.

Well, I could go for another quick shower, and my hindleg could use a quick massage, so I headed back into the cottage to clean up and take care of that. By the time I was done, Fluttershy had put her story on hold so she could head into town and get some groceries, and she was apparently just waiting on me. Thankfully by the time I was done massaging my hindleg, it was feeling a whole lot better.

The trek into town was mostly accompanied by Fluttershy talking about her animals, once I inquired about them. Apparently Mister Nutty was having problems with his mate eating the nuts of other squirrels, and Fluttershy wasn't sure what to do to help them. Who knew that animals had domestic issues? I mean, I did know that, but the idea that Fluttershy could have to give advice to animals the same way you'd give advice to a pony, well...it's odd as well as interesting.

Once we reached town, Fluttershy and I parted ways. While I would have loved to spend the day with her, that wouldn't have been fair to Spike. I had several things I wanted to do, and the very first thing I needed to take care of was stopping in at Sweet Apple Acres to talk with Applejack about camping out. After that, well, I could either stop in at Rarity's boutique to have that tea with her that I promised, or I could take Spike to the park. Well, if I could get directions from someone.

See, I have a bit of a hobby, when I travel and even when I get bored and want to move around in Canterlot. I tend to wander and explore. Usually, I go to places that I at the very least haven't been to in a while, though I usually prefer places that I haven't been to or I just don't remember ever visiting. Small side streets, grungy ghettos...places where the real face of civilization shows up at. The nobles and the middle-class can portray an image of pristine beauty and better breeding all they like, but those dark places that the tourism boards don't want you to know about, they...they give you a dose of reality.

I suppose I shouldn't be so harsh. Allow me to correct myself: they give you a dose of their reality. The kind of reality where disease-ridden unlicensed hookers are common and going down an alleyway is either a death sentence or a guarantee of trouble. One or the other. Not to mention the drugs, a rampant thing that you can't possibly grow up on the streets without running into. It's sick, it breaks ponies down, it trains them into a certain way of thinking that guarantees that almost all of them will never rise above all the muck they're surrounded by. I should know how much it clings to you, I wade into it willingly.

With all that being said, Ponyville wasn't likely to have the kinds of places I could go to in order to 'practice my right to self-defense' against a group of muggers that don't know who they're fucking with. Unfortunately. I mean I suppose sight-seeing could be interesting enough just one time. Perhaps I'd find some things to do here instead of ponywatching and wandering around?

My visit to Sweet Apple Acres was met with a fairly lax response. Apparently Applejack was in town taking care of...I dunno, something involving Rainbow Dash and some kind of new stunt she wanted to attempt, and I guess she was helping Pinkie bake up some cupcakes for some kind of charity or advertising. Still, Granny Smith was willing to let us camp out on their property, and much to Spike's delight, Apple Bloom was more than willing to camp out with us. Shame she had chores, I would've been more than willing to let Spike spend time with her while I went to visit with Rarity.

The boutique wasn't particularly hard to track down. I only needed directions from Big Macintosh to get there, and it wasn't far from the central square of the town. I suppose being located on a main street makes sense for a place of fashion and business.

Rarity was busy working on a line of dresses when I showed up. Whoever it was, it looked like they'd ordered a fairly high-quality dress, judging by the fabric she was using. I'm no expert, but it was definitely silk, satin and jewels. Probably gold trim too, I think that kind of thing was in style at the time. What I didn't expect was to see an almost carbon-copy filly version of her sitting at a table on the far side of the room, working on her homework.

"Who is it-oh! Twilight!" Rarity said, turning away from the ponnequin she was placing a wide-rimmed hat upon. "How lovely to see you! And the little gentledrake as well, I see."

"Hi!" Spike called out while standing up and leaning against the back of my head and neck, waving in her direction.

"Hey. We stopped in for some time away from Canterlot," I said, kneeling to let Spike hop off my back. "So, who might that be?"

Rarity followed my gaze to the little unicorn. "Oh, did I not introduce you two? Yes, this is-" she began to say, turning to motion to the young filly and faltering mid-step. "-erm, my little sister. Sweetie Belle! Come say hello to Lady Sparkle, would you?"

The young filly perked up and looked back at us before hopping up from her seat. She seemed more than jubilant at the idea of getting even a small reprieve from her homework, and I couldn't blame her. Sure, I enjoyed that stuff when I was a little filly, but then I was one of the weirdos that thought learning was more fun than playing tag during recess.

"Hi! I'm Sweetie Belle," she said, holding out her hoof to me. "It's nice to meet you, ma'am!"

"Heh! You can just call me Twilight," I said, touching my hoof to hers and shaking briefly. "And this is my son Spike."

The little filly grinned and lowered her hoof, glancing in Spike's direction. "Oh, we met back during that big feast the Apple family threw!"

"Oh really? Spike didn't mention that."

"Uh-huh! We played hide and seek in the orchard," she said, grinning widely. "Spike kept getting the jump on us."

I gave him a knowing look. "Probably because it was dark and someone sees better than ponies in the dark. But you didn't tell them that now, did you Spike?"

He at least had the good sense to look a little ashamed. "W-well, no one said being able to see good in the dark was against the rules!"

"Uh-huh....?"

He stared up at me for a few seconds, before fidgeting and looking away from me. "I uh...I thought that if I told 'em, they wouldn't let me play." he said more quietly, taking a sudden interest in the floor.

Sweetie Belle shook her head quickly. "We wouldn't do that. It was fun! Remember how you snuck up on Pipsqueak and scared the life out of him?"

I watched his face light up in a wide grin, showing off those gem-crushing teeth of his. "Hee, yeah! He screamed like a filly before I caught him."

I looked over to Rarity with a playful smile. "My son the apex predator. Stalker of apple trees and hunter of fillies and colts."

"Truly, the most vicious of titles," Rarity said, looking to her sister with a warm smile. "Well, if you'd like to have some time to play, I suppose you can take a break from your homework. However, I expect you to come back and not move from that table until it's finished when Spike leaves, understand?"

Sweetie sighed and rolled her eyes. "Yes, sis."

Rarity gave a firm nod. "Very good."

"C'mon Spike! I got a new board game a couple days ago..." I heard Sweetie Belle say as she led Spike upstairs, out of my range of hearing.

"So!" Rarity chimed, taking a couple steps towards me. "What brings you here unannounced?"

"Well, I decided to take a break after that debacle in Stalliongrad, don't know if you know any of the details about that...." I said, reaching up to touch the brace on my snout.

"Yes, I read about it. I wasn't going to say anything, but that looks quite painful."

"Mmmhmm. So, since I was in town, I figured I'd pay you a visit and see if you were up for that offer of tea you made."

I watched the smile on Rarity's lips widen slowly. "Oh! Well, this is rather spontaneous, but I'm sure we could have tea. Please, er-"

She once again made to turn away from me, but for whatever reason, she thought better of it and just turned enough to motion to the kitchen. I stared at her for a moment, and she stared back at me, her smile fading just a little as a growing awkwardness welled up between us. I didn't want to make things worse, but I had no idea where this was coming from.

"Uh...okay?" I said slowly, walking up next to her. "Lead the way, I guess....?"

She fell into step alongside me, right up until we reached the kitchen doorway. Her movements seemed very deliberate, and the way she waited for me to head into the kitchen before her...it was all really bizarre. She wasn't like this when I first met her. Before, she was flamboyant and charismatic. Everything she was doing was just making the entire situation awkward.

Even as I took a seat at the kitchen table directly across from the door, she seemed to try to keep her side turned to me as much as she could. She used her magic to gather her kettle and tea leaves while taking a seat next to me, setting the kettle to boil after filling it up with water. At the very least, that was normal, but the way she was behaving didn't sit well with me.

My mind immediately went to changelings, but I'd need more evidence of that. For the time being, all I could really do was talk with her. She certainly had plenty to talk about, despite living in such a small town. Fluttershy wasn't kidding when she said Rarity was a gossip. I now knew far more than I ever wanted to know about the promiscuous rumors surrounding Mr. and Mrs. Cake, and that was even before the tea was ready.

The conversation itself was very reminiscent of how I had to deal with the nobility back in Canterlot, both in and out of the garden parties and soirees they often threw. In other words, the conversation was very boring. Gossip about Bon-Bon digging through someone's trash, Golden Harvest having a crush on Thunderlane, things like that. Meanwhile I'm used to merely putting up with hearing about stuff like this and pretending to be amused.

The entire time, Rarity seemed very much on edge. Even I could tell, with how her posture remained absolutely stiff and straight. She even avoided moving her tail as much as possible, which simply wasn't natural. Even the most well-groomed and disciplined among the nobility tended to begin to slouch and lose their perfect posture after just a few minutes, or take moments to relax their muscles before the soreness and tension sets in. She was making the classic mistake of trying too hard to act 'normal'.

After a while of observing her, I just couldn't take it anymore.

"Rarity, sorry, I hate to interrupt," I started, holding up a hoof to get her attention. "Why are you so tense today?"

"What?!" she said sharply, her ear twitching several times as she adjusted her posture once more. "I'm not tense at all. This has been quite enjoyable."

"Rarity, you were fine when I first arrived," I started, sitting back in my seat. "But once we started talking, you became very guarded."

"No I didn't," she said, sipping from her cup a bit more noisily than I'd have expected from her. "I'm just trying to present myself appropriately in the presence of a noble."

"Yyyeah, I'm not buying that."

She glanced over at me for a moment, then set her cup down. "Very well. I was trying to be courteous, is all."

I quirked a brow. "Courteous? About what?"

"Why, your condition, darling!" she said, as if it should be obvious what she was referring to.

"Um...my broken snout, you mean....?" I guessed, trying to figure out her meaning.

"What? No, no dear," she said, blushing a little and motioning down towards the lower part of my body. "I mean that. You know...."

I followed where her hoof was pointing, checking twice to be sure of what she was indicating. It only took me a few seconds to put two and two together.

"What, you mean the fact that I'm a hermaphrodite?" I said, clenching my jaw slightly. "You think that's a condition?"

"Isn't it?"

"What? No, it...wait, what does that have to do with you being so tense?" I asked, already having an idea of where this was going.

Rarity scoffed and flicked her mane. "Well, isn't it obvious? I was trying not to tempt you!"

"...You were trying not to tempt me." I said with a deadpan stare, my ears laying flat.

"Why, yes. I've read about how hard it is for ponies with your disability to control themselves when they get aroused-"

"Disability?!" I almost shouted, just barely keeping my voice in check when I remembered that Spike and Sweetie Belle were upstairs.

"Twilight, please! There's no need for raising your voice," she said, as if she were chiding a child. "As I was saying, I didn't want to make things difficult for you, else you might be inspired to do something undesirable."

"Whoa, wait. What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, a cold edge in my voice.

"Hermaphrodites have a very excessive and active libido, and it can lead them to lose control of themselves," she said, as if reciting from a book. "It is best to avoid putting them in a situation where they can be excessively stimulated in such a way, or else you may risk them trying to force intercourse to sate themselves."

I stared at her in mute silence. I was awestruck, truly and surely. To think that someone could be this stupid and presumptuous in this day and age shocked me to my core and made me lose just a little bit more of my dwindling faith in equinity. Surely if ponies like her were to one day be the idols of Equestria, our race was doomed from the start.

I'd read several books that talked about the things she was thinking of. Most of them were outdated and written way before psychology became a more well-researched scientific field. We're talking around a hundred years back. They were inaccurate, not properly based upon the scientific method, and were often written more out of personal observation and bias-borne lies rather than being based on solid experimentation and data gathering. Where had she gotten books that outdated from?

Then again, a lot of books studying the 'hermaphrodite condition' were just doctored re-prints of old books, so I shouldn't be surprised. Rarity had probably never even met a hermaphrodite before me. Despite this, she was talking like she knew exactly what she was talking about! Didn't help that Ponyville's sex-ed was probably atrocious when it came to a subject like hermaphrodites. Our educational system has a hard enough time teaching ponies about males and females, let alone the abnormalities that happen with ponies like myself.

"Darling? Are you okay?" she asked, concern tinging her voice.

"I'm...fine, it's just...wow," I tried to say, shaking my head. "Wow."

"Do you need something cooler to drink, to help you calm down?" she asked, reaching with her magic for a spare cup.

"Hah, no! Just, um...question," I said, clearing my throat and sitting up a bit straighter. "Rarity, do you honestly think you could seduce me to a point where I'd force myself upon you?"

"Oh there's no need to be ashamed, darling," she said, reaching over to pat me on my foreleg. "It's not your fault you can't be entirely in control of yourself sometimes. You were just born that way."

"Why don't you just tell a zebra he's a watermelon-gobbling, mare-abducting striper with more wrinkles in his brain than a basket full of dirty laundry?!" I blurted out, torn between the urge to punch her and laugh, pressing a forehoof to my head. "It'd probably go over about as well as this conversation is right now!"

"What?! How could you say something so tribalist?!" Rarity exclaimed, pulling away from me. "Sweetie Belle and Spike are right upstairs, what if they heard you say something like that?"

"I think you're missing my point here, Rarity," I said, taking some deep breaths to keep myself steady. "I know it's wrong, but I would love to break your face right now even though I'm fairly sure you're not at fault."

That got her attention. She immediately leaned further away from me, scooting her seat just a bit in the process. The light shuffle of the cushion alerted me to the fact that I was probably scaring her now, especially given her misinformed beliefs about ponies like me. Words needed to be spoken, rather than swinging hooves. Ignorance is the greatest enemy of intelligent minds, after all.

"Okay, let's settle down, and we can discuss this," I said, rubbing the part of my forehead just beneath the base of my horn. "First of all, everything you just spouted at me was blatantly and factually wrong. It was extremely offensive and I cannot believe you'd think I was some sort of rapist."

"Wh-pff-darling, I borrowed a very educational book on the subject, I think I know what I'm talking about!" she said, waving off my accusation. "I read the hermaphrodite section twice just to be sure."

"Okay, your intentions were pure and good, but you really should've asked me about what books to read," I said, shifting in my seat and taking a quick sip of my tea. "What was the name of the book?"

"I believe it was called 'Abnormals and You'. I thought the title was rather crude, but it was very informative."

I resisted the urge to slam my head into the table. "Rarity, that book is a re-print of a very old and very outdated book that was originally written over two-hundred years ago. It's so heavily based on assumptions about how the equine mind works as well as the body that it could be passed off as pure fiction in this day and age."

"That seems like a bit of an exaggeration if you ask me," she said, suddenly looking a bit more nervous. "That book was written by an esteemed professor!"

"Did you see the table of contents?" I asked, frowning. "You know that book also includes a section on homosexuals, and how they are 'deceptive disease-spreading sodomists that must be purged'? Are you seeing a pattern there?"

"I find myself questioning how you could possibly remember a random book's table of contents off the top of your head...." she muttered, her features slumped and a bit more downcast.

"I'm very well-read when it comes to my own body and mind," I stated quickly. "Psychology is a far more expanded field of study these days, and that professor was clearly bigoted and close-minded. There's so much more to the psychological state of a rapist, and it can vary from individual to individual, but generally there has to be something not working right in their heads to begin with for them to turn out like that."

"...So what you're saying is, that book is unreliable?"

"I still can't believe it got re-printed," I grumbled, shaking my head. "There are numerous books based on actual professional studies that are infinitely more informative if you're truly that interested. The only reason you managed to digest that book is probably because it wasn't held to such a high standard."

"I see...b-but surely you must admit, it's we-mmph," she began to say, stifling herself for only a moment. "It's...strange, darling."

"Excuse me?"

"Being born that way. It's...I don't know, something about it weirds me out," she said, wriggling a little in her seat. "I've never met a hermaphrodite before you, and something about the idea of it just clashes in my head. It unsettles me."

"...Ah." I said, trying to hide my irritation.

"And the way you were attracted to me in the Everfree, it...I don't know," she said, slumping in her seat. "I'm sorry."

"Well, I'm sure you'll be happy to know that you've rapidly become far less attractive to me throughout this entire conversation," I said quickly, snorting. "I think we're done here."

"Wait, darling, please, this went all wrong-" she tried to say, quickly getting to her hooves.

"No, it's fine, I'm weird to you, I freak you out, whatever," I said, heading out of the kitchen. "We'll talk again sometime. This has been really enlightening."

She rushed after me, jumping around in front of me. "Darling, please just wait! I didn't mean to-I mean-!"

"You didn't mean to offend me. I know. I can't even blame you for being weirded out. You said it yourself, you've never met a hermaphrodite before me," I said slowly, trying to keep myself calm. "But that still hurts, Rarity. I've grown up surrounded by ponies that think ponies like me are weird and unnatural. I didn't expect to encounter that here, with one of my friends."

It still felt weird to refer to her and the others as such. Even by that point, it hadn't fully sunk in that they were supposed to be ponies I could just chill with and let down my guard. At that moment, my friendship with Rarity was very questionable, no matter how dejected she may have looked at the time.

"I am so sorry, darling," she said, rubbing one foreleg with the other. "I can't explain why it's strange to me. It just is. The book though, it was the only one the library had stocked, I didn't know where else to look."

I stared at her for a moment, then sighed and ran my hoof over my mane. "I suppose you can't help what you feel. Just do me a favor and try to open your mind to the concept, alright? I'm not asking you to find me attractive, just...don't act like I'm somepony you have to walk on eggshells around, alright?"

She perked up a little at that and let out a faint, brief laugh. "Yes, I suppose I can try to do that."

"Good. With that taken care of..." I said, my eye beginning to twitch anew. "What do you mean that's the only book they have on the subject?!"