Lol look what I found buried deep inside my documents!

Rarity was moving quickly through her house, she was packing clothes into one, big, fucking, suitcase. She was putting all sorts of unnecessary clothing like twelve different coats, sixteen pairs of boots, eight different hats, thirty eight and a half pairs of glasses (one was a monocle so shut up). As she sped through her boutique, Sweetie Belle (the marshmallow one) said, “Why can’t I come? Maybe I’ll discover my cutie mark!”
Her face brightened up when she mentioned her opportunity to discover her talent.

“Sweetie Belle, I don’t think getting us all killed is going to be your special talent. I know we’re just going on a trip to a fountain, but I know you and I know you would get us killed somehow.”

Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes as she said, “Only the ones that I don’t care about. Please please can the Cutie Mark Crusaders come?” Sweetie Belle added emphasis to the pleases.

Rarity looked at her younger sister with a look of annoyance as she said, “As sweet and disturbing as that was, the answer is still no, I want to keep my fur. I’ll be back in a few days, remember to stay at least twelve feet away from my boutique.” Rarity kissed her sister’s forehead as she exited the door with her.

“Where will I stay?” Sweetie Belle asked with a look of confusion.

“I don’t know, go to Scootaloo’s place, or the school, I don’t care, be creative. Tah-Tah!” With that Rarity began trotting for Twilight’s Library. Leaving Sweetie Belle sitting there, a look of confusion and deep hurt on her face as she sniffled, Rarity turned her head and said, “By the way, I’m kidding about the twelve feet from the boutique, just no sewing or anything involving my job. Bring Scootaloo and Applebloom over if you want.” Rarity noticed the sudden look of joy and love that swept over her younger sister’s face as she trotted off, the huge suitcase floating in the air next to her.

*****

Meanwhile at Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie Pie was also packing a suitcase, one what was one tenth the size of Rarity’s and only contained a sleeping bag, a tent, some clothes, and a shit ton of cake ingredients. Pinkie grabbed her suitcase and began trotting down the stairs with the suitcase thumping its way down after her. She went to go say goodbye to Mr. and Mrs. Cake when she noticed they were sitting at the table waiting for her. Pinkie trotted up as Mr. Cake motioned her to sit down. Once everypony was seated Mrs. Cake said, “Now, I know that you are finally going on a life changing adventure,” (she really never heard of Pinkie’s other adventures), “and we both think now is the time to tell you this.”

Pinkie’s eyes widened with confusion as Mr. Cake said, “You’re probably still wondering why you have never heard from your family in so long, that’s because their not your real parents.”

Pinkie’s eyes widened even more with disbelief and tears formed as she said, “Well, who was my real family?”

Mrs. Cake put a hoof over Pinkie’s to comfort her as she explained, “Your real family was a family of assassins and mercenaries. Your real father, Sir Slashalot was one of the best in the family history of assassins. Before they died they gave you this while you were still a newborn.” Mrs. Cake pulled out a large chest and put it on the table. She took a deep shaky breath before continuing, “It’s their only remaining possession that was passed down to you. We tell you this tragic truth now because as a foal you would have never been able to handle it.”

With a shaking hoof, Pinkie opened the chest to find two swords, she found two SMG’s made to fit around hooves, and a costume (I need no description for later holds the answer). Pinkie took the swords, guns, and costume and ran to her room. When she entered, she threw the swords aside and began to put on the costume, when she was done; she picked up the two swords and pulled them out of their sheaths. One had, “Love” engraved on it while the other one had, “Tolerance” on it. She gave the swords a spin and a few slashes and noticed that not only were the swords extremely light for their size, she had a natural talent for them. She then picked up the SMG’s and gave them a twirl, she loaded the magazines and put them in their holsters. When she was heading for the door she saw a note that had fallen off of the suit, Pinkie picked it up to read, “May the knowledge and teachings be with you, Pinkamena.” Pinkie read the last of her original name to herself before going downstairs. When Mr. and Mrs. Cake saw her, she put her mask on and said, “I’m no longer Pinkie Pie, I am Pinkie Pool.”

She then saw Mrs. Cake say, “Pinkie, are you okay?”

Pinkie woke from her daydream to notice she was still at the table when Mr. Cake said, “We just wanted to tell you that your parents gave you a call saying they hope you visit the rock farm now that it’s doing well.”

Pinkie blinked a couple of times before saying, “Oh, well, that’s nice.” She had a big fake smile on her face before she got off the chair and headed for the door. As she exited she said, “Try not to have too much fun without me.” She gave a big joyful smile as she exited.

When Pinkie was no longer in sight, Mr. Cake said, “Poor mare, do you think we should tell her about her actual family?”

Mrs. Cake said with a look of worry, “I think she’s happier without it.”

*****

Applejack was packing her saddlebags with useful things (thank god) she had fire starter, matches, a tent, a sleeping bag, and apple pie mix (OH COME ON) when little Applebloom trotted up beside her and said, “Can ya tell me why I can’t go?”

Applejack sighed and rolled her eyes as she said, “Because yer mah lil’ sister and I don’t want anything bad to happen to you. I know we’re only goin’ on a trip to some fountain, but knowin’ you, yer gonna get yourself hurt somehow.” Applejack then put her saddlebags on and headed for the doors of the house. There stood Granny Smith and Big Macintosh, Applejack gave them each a big hug before turning to Applebloom and saying, “Now while I’m gone, I want you to be a big girl and run the family apple business for me.”

Applebloom’s face brightened with joy and began hopping around the room while saying, “Really? Yer gonna’ let me sell apples?” Applebloom was full of joy as se skipped throughout the room.

Applejack chuckled and said, “Of course not! You’d probably sell them potatoes without even knowin’ it. What I do want you to do is to look after Granny Smith for me, and you can harvest some of the apples with Big Mac.”

Despite being teased, Applebloom retained some of her joy as she said, “Well, ah guess that’s cool and all.”

“It’s better than nothin’ right?” Applejack raised an eyebrow to her little sister. Applejack gave her sister one last hug and headed out the door to Twilight’s library.

*****

Fluttershy was pacing around the room, obviously worried and scared not only for her, but for the animals that she cared for. On her bed were saddlebags filled with relevant and important things like medicine (I guess that’s needed), a sleeping bag, some pots and pans, and a book on animals (FOR THE LOVE OF GOD). As she packed everything, Angel was standing at the door to her room; he was holding a pocket watch and pointing at it madly. Fluttershy slowly made her way toward him saying, “I know I have to go now, but I need to make sure I have everything.” Fluttershy then trotted to her dresser and pulled out a book, as she read the title she said, “Martial Arts as a self defence, I guess I might need that, oh I hope I didn’t forget to give any animal some extra food.” She then gave Angel a kiss on his head, put her saddlebags on, and headed out the door. She then took off and made her way to Twilight’s Library, waving goodbye to all of her little animals she loved so much.

*****

Meanwhile, at Dash’s cloud house, Rainbow dash had a saddlebag with actual important things relevant to the adventure they were going on. Inside her saddlebags was a tent, a sleeping bag, some clothes to keep warm, and a jar that had, “My Awesome” written on it (FOR FUCKS SAKES, REALLY?). In the room down the hall, Cole was in his alicorn form, floating actual stuff he needed into his de atomiser case. Inside his case was now a passport for when he’s on earth, some snacks, his iPod, a book, a tent, sleeping bags, and a fuckton of guns. When he was done packing everything, Cole trotted into the living room where his suit stood, enclosed in glass as a way of remembering his great victory. Whenever Cole looked at it, his spine shivered, he remembers the pain he felt when his arm was torn off and the suit only made it worse. Cole changed back into human form and opened the case. Since the suit was out of energy, Cole had to manually put it on which was a pain in the ass for him. When the suit was on, Cole put his de atomiser case on his belt and walked into Dash’s room. She was putting her saddlebags on with trouble, so Cole decided to help her out. When the packing was done, Dash turned to Cole and said, “Well, it looks like I finally will be going on an adventure with you after all!”

Cole gave a silent laugh as a smile cracked on his face and he said, “Don’t get your hopes up, all were doing is going on a road trip to a pool and coming back tomorrow.” Suddenly a loud nock thumped against Dash’s door. The door burst open to reveal Scootaloo who was panting. When she had caught her breath she said, “Before you push me over the edge again let me just point out that getting up here with these wings was almost impossible.” Scootaloo gave a flutter of her little chicken wings on her back as she continued, “I also heard you, Cole and the group of ponies and humans are going on an adventure and I want to come.”

Dash floated over top of Scootaloo snickering as she said, “Sorry, kiddo, but no can do. Let’s face it, nopony likes you. I know were just going on a trip to a fountain but knowing you, you’d get the stuffing ripped out of you.”

Scootaloo frowned a bit before she rejoiced saying, “Any way I can help you around here? Like clean your house, or house sit?”

Dash gave a shrug of her wings and said, “Nah, it’s a cloud, no one is desperate enough to break into a cloud.”

Scootaloo’s wings drooped as she said, “This is stupid!”

Dash’s ear twitched as she exited the door hearing that, she turned to the young foal saying, “Stupidity?” Both Scootaloo and Cole gulped, Scootaloo knew from experience while Cole knew from Hollywood where she was going with this. Rainbow inhaled and then yelled at the top of her lungs, “THIS IS EQUESTRIAAA!” Rainbow Dash turned around and bucked Scootaloo off the edge.

“Again?! Really!” Scootaloo yelled as she slowly descended to the ground thanks to her wings. Rainbow Dash made sure to not hurt the poor filly cause then she would lose her youngest creepy fan.

“You’re horrible!” Cole jokingly yelled out.

“I know, that Gerard Butler guy does it so much better than me.” Dash jokingly replied as she turned around. She flew into her room, picked up her saddlebags and said to Cole, “Let’s roll!” Dash then took off into the air with Cole trailing slowly behind her. Cole made sure to have a rainbow of his own trailing behind him to make the whole experience better.

*****

When Dash and Cole got to Twilight’s library, the group was already waiting for them. Somehow the author left out how Jordan, Kevin, and Taylor got the motor home in Equestria so let’s not explain that. When Cole landed, he walked up to Jordan and yelled, “Fist bump?”

Jordan just grunted and said, “Fuck off.”

Cole cleared his throat and put his serious face on and turned to the group of ponies there saying, “First off, where’s Shock Wayve and Ruckus?”

Twilight burst out of her door, the suitcase floating beside her saying, “They said they were busy with personal missions from the princess so I guess it’s just us.” Spike was close behind her carrying a small backpack of his own.

Cole turned to Jordan and said, “Firs off, thanks for getting the RV, is it at full tank?”

Jordan brushed his long manly hair away from his eyes saying, “It’s got several extra gas cans in case we run out. Now let’s get our asses moving before that furry faggot Discord kills us all.”

Pinkie Pie happily skipped her way past Jordan saying, “I don’t think Discord can be a fuzzy cigarette, that’s just not possible.”

Kevin leaned towards Jordan saying, “She owned you there.”

Jordan gave a low grunt and said, “Fuck you. She’s a dumbass, you bug me and I’ll kill you.”

Kevin and Taylor backed away with worried looks on their eyes while Taylor said, “Okay calm now, bud.”

Cole got all of the ponies on the RV and left the three humans out to talk to them personally, before he could begin, Jordan said, “Nice suit, I used to have one like those, then I got promoted.” Jordan laughed at his silly joke while Cole gave a smile.

Cole gently inhaled and said, “Yeah well this suit is what saved our world we are fighting for, while you were still working at Radio Shack I was defeating our god with this thing on. Also it saved this kingdom from a neo Nazi or something like that. Anyways, I wanted to let you three know that I know these ponies can be annoying at times, but just try to be nice to them.”

Kevin laughed a bit and said, “Don’t worry, we wont let them suffer.”

Cole’s hand suddenly turned into a blade and was pointing right at Kevin’s neck as he said, “Really? That’s weird because I was thinking of showing you guys what real suffering is like.”

Taylor slowly moved her hand over Cole’s blade and lowered it. She could feel the energy radiating off of it as she said, “Calm down, I think we’ll be fine with them. Just try not to bug the yellow one, the silent one is always the killer.”

Kevin turned his head to the window to see Fluttershy hide from the window, she was startled by the sudden movement. When all of that conflict was over Cole said, “allrighty then, Let’s go.” With that Cole teleported his way into the bus and sat down at the table with Dash. Jordan got on next after taking his suit off and putting it into his de atomiser case. Kevin got on next followed by Taylor.

When everyone and everypony was seated, Jordan sat in the driver’s seat, turned his head around and said, “Everyone buckled in?”

Pinkie picked up the two straps from her seat and said, “Is that what these things are?” Before Jordan answered, he slammed on the gas making the bus jerk and making Pinkie fly out of her seat. The bus made sharp turns to avoid the houses and to see Pinkie fly across the room bumping onto everything. Jordan, Kevin, and Taylor laughed at the poor mare. Pinkie simply got up and brushed herself off and said, “I guess that is what they’re for.”

Once the RV was balanced out on a flat road, Cole jumped into the air and yelled, “Road trip!” The ponies began to cheer happily, Spike was sitting next to Rarity at the table, Pinkie, Fluttershy, and Twilight were on the couch, Applejack was on the reclining chair, Taylor and Jordan were at the front driving, Kevin was sitting across from Rarity, looking like he wanted to pull his ears off or turn mute on. Cole and Dash were on the bed in the back just laying there.

Dash moved her head on top of Cole’s chest and said, “Finally, some alone time with you.” Dash then moved to kiss Cole on the lips.

Before Dash could make contact, Cole stopped her and said, “The rest is only a couple of feet outside the door, this is awfully bumpy. Do you think the others will know were making out?”

Before Dash could answer, Pinkie Pie popped her head out of the sheets and said, “Nah, nopony will notice.” She then gave them her adorable huge smile. Next thing Pinkie knew, she was sitting on a chair that was bolted to the top of the RV, the wind blowing into her hair at 100mp/h as she said out loud, “Okay I learned my lesson, can I come down now, these bugs taste awful.” Cole then appeared in front of her and untied her from her chair, picked her up, and disappeared back into the bus.

When Cole was back inside, he walked up to the front to Twilight and asked, “So how lo0ng do we have until we arrive at the Fountain of Luck?”

Twilight used her magic to pull the map from her saddlebag and spread it in front of her, she gave a look over it before saying, “Well if we are travelling at about 80 km/h then we should be there by midnight.”

When Jordan heard how long it would take, he began to frown. Taylor leaned over and said to him, “Just sixteen more hours, remember when we went to your family reunion? That was a week long, I’m sure you can grin and bear this.”

*****

Meanwhile back on earth, in a high school in L.A. A boy about the age of sixteen was walking down the halls carrying his books when a group of the football team walked by, knocking his books over. The one in the middle said, “Sorry about that, did I hurt your imaginary friend?”

“Fuck off, guys.” The poor kid said as he picked up his books.

The one to the right looked at him with narrowing eyes as he said, “The fuck did you just say?”

The poor kid who had finally picked up his stuff said, “I didn’t say anything.”

The three boys, who were in disbelief, walked towards the boy, picked him up and walked him to the bathroom. When they entered, they threw the boy to the ground. When the kid tried to get back up, he was kicked in the face. The oldest of the group said to him, “I said, the fuck did you just say, faggot.”

“I swear to god I didn’t say anything.” The poor bruised boy said, wiping blood from his nose. When he tried to get back up, the tallest of the group punched him across the face, breaking his nose. When the kid tried to return a punch, the shorter one of the group kicked him in the stomach. The kid finally understood that he wasn’t going to win and just laid there, crying. The burly one of the group picked up his binder and began ripping all of the fan art the boy had been working on, crumpling each one up and tossing it aside. When that was done, the boys dragged the kid to the nearest bathroom stall and shoved his head down the toilet and held him there. The boy struggled for his life but was powerless against these larger boys, he struggled and fought for air until the boys let him out of the toilet to gasp for air as they laughed their way out of the door. When not a sound could be heard, the boy, who’s name is Jack Swagger (what an epic name) peaked outside. He immediately dashed for the pile of shredded art and theories that could prove what that man Cole O’Reilly was fighting.

He looked at the pile and began to cry when suddenly, a voice came from nowhere, the voice sounded deep and sinister, but at the same time comforting. It said to him, “What a shame, I quite like your style of art.”

“Thanks, I guess.” Jack said with his head low.

“Aww, what’s wrong? I’m assuming it was the way those larger more powerful men overpowered you.” Jack stood up to face whoever he was talking to. But couldn’t find anyone, the room was completely empty, Jack walked over to pick up his art that was sitting next to the mirror. When he raised his head to look at his reflection to check for injuries, he was shocked at what he saw. He saw his reflection, but instead of leaning over, it was in the corner of the room in the reflection. His reflection spoke to him, “I know how you feel, you feel like you are trapped forever right? Stuck in this eternal hell constantly being tortured?”

Jack spun his head around to look for his doppelganger, but found nothing, it really was his reflection. Jack calmed himself down and accepted this was happening and said, “That’s exactly how I feel. Who are you?”

The reflection stepped towards Jack, as it approached, its eyes darkened, the whites of the eyes turned yellow and the pupils turned red. Once it was face to face with Jack his reflection said, “I’m your salvation, boy. I can get rid of all of your problems in life.”

Jack had a confused look on his face; he moved his limbs to notice that the reflection was moving his limbs in perfect harmony. Jack then said, “How? You’re just a reflection.”

The reflection laughed and said, “By granting you power beyond your comprehension. I can give you these abilities. Unfortunately I have been cursed to not make contact with this world, only a habitant from this world can make contact with me to grant me access. See the thing is, over a thousand years ago, I was trapped in stone by an evil enchantress, and only a few years back I was freed and then trapped again by her minions. Now I remain with a curse that limits my power in this world. I want revenge, you want revenge. What do you say? Let’s work together, allow me access to this world and I will grant you one wish. It can be anything.” With that the reflection put his hand against eh mirror. At first Jack was reluctant, but eventually convinced himself with the opportunity to have super powers. Slowly, Jack brought his hand to the mirror. As he was doing so, the reflection said, “By the way, my name is Discord, god of Chaos.” Before Jack could react to the news he had made a deal with the devil, his hand was touching the mirror. It felt like Jack was being electrocuted. He could feel his body tingling with energy as he was thrown back into one of the toilet stalls, breaking the door down. When jack got back up, he could see his reflection standing in front of him. Discord stuck out his hand and said, “I never break a promise.”

“What did you do to me?” Jack said as he looked at the black smoke that seeped out of the cracks in his skin.

“I only granted you power beyond human ability. You can now create any form of weapon if you think about it. Try it on that witness over there.” Discord pointed a finger to a boy who had entered the room, his eyes widened with horror at the sight of now two Jack Swaggers. Jack could suddenly feel a deep burning rage inside him. At first he tried his best to fight back, but eventually was overpowered and stuck his arm out at the boy, who was no older than twelve. Jack focused him mind on a blade and suddenly his rung finger turned into a needle sharp blade that stretched across the room. As fast as a bullet, the needle pierced the child’s brain. Blood drooled from the hole as the child’s eyes drained of life. He died before he hit the ground; he fell to the ground like a sack of bricks and lay there, motionless as blood leaked from the hole that had formed. Jack’s hand returned to normal, his conscience was trying to fight the urge to kill more. But some sort of joy was being felt when Jack took the life of that young person.

Jack turned to Discord and said, “Once I claim my revenge, what do I have to do for you?” Jack’s mouth broke into a devilish smile.

“Chaos, my boy. Just create chaos with me.” Discord brought an arm over Jack’s shoulder as they walked out of the door. Once they exited, Discord disappeared saying, “Kill everyone in sight, starting with the ones who tried to kill you.”

Jack stormed down the hall; his mind was blind with an unknown rage. Jack walked into the gymnasium where the three bullies were demonstrating wrestling moves to the other students. When the tall one who wasn’t busy saw him, he said, “Look who decided to finally come to class, get changed, I have to teach you some wrestling.” Jack walked to the change rooms across the hall, giving the boy a menacing look in his eye as he entered. When he got in he quickly changed into his gym outfit and stormed into the gymnasium where the three boys were now free of demonstrating. They stood in the center, as though they were waiting for him. The tall one said, “Time to be my bitch, get in the ring.”

Jack slowly stepped into the ring, his face looked calm, but underneath was a monster waiting to attack. Jack got himself in wrestling mode. When the match begun, the burly one immediately flipped Jack over him and onto his back. The burly boy immediately got into a head lock position where Jack’s head was being cut off of oxygen. The burly boy said, “Don’t try to be the hero, kid, you’ll only make yourself look like a faggot.”

Jack immediately stopped struggling, which surprised the three boys, but the laughing really threw them off. It wasn’t Jack’s normal screech of a laugh, it was deep and sinister as jack said, “That’s why I’m the villain.” Immediately Jack stood up, lifting the burly kid into the air. He grabbed the kid’s head and flipped him over. The boys were stunned by this sudden strength he found. Since the burly kid outweighed Jack by a hundred pounds. When the burly kid was on the ground, Jack put his hand around the kid’s face and began to squeeze. Jack imagined the image of his hand crushing his head as he said, “Here’s for all the years of humiliation, torment, torture, injuries, pain, humiliation, and suffering you brought me.” The burly boy tried his best to pull Jack’s hand away from his face, but his hand was like a vice that was getting tighter and tighter. Eventually it began to hurt him and he began to scream. Everyone in the gym stopped what they were doing to see what was going on. Jack had an evil look on his face when he began to see blood leaking from the kid’s eyes and ears. The kid was screaming at the top of his lungs in agony as his friends tried to pull Jack off of him, but to no avail. Jack gave one final squeeze and the kid’s head exploded. Blood sprayed everywhere as his skull was crushed, leaving mushy chunks of brain and muscle on the ground, blood was still spraying from the neck as the corpse’s hand let go of Jack’s arm.

The tall kid immediately ran for the door saying, “What the fuck!” Everyone was in a panic as Jack brought a wall of stone to block the exits off. Everyone was trapped now.

Jack then removed all of their voices and said out loud, “Don’t bother screaming, no one will hear you.” Jack then walked up to the taller of the bullies and punched his fist through the kid’s chest. His fist exploded out the back holding the heard and part of the lung, blood sprayed all over the other kid who was behind him. Jack yanked his fist back through the kid’s chest destroying his ribs and killing him, his stomach and intestines spilled out of the open hole as the boy died in pain. All that was left now was the one last kid. Jack slowly walked to him saying in a deep and sinister voice, “Here’s what you deserve, ten years worth of pain, torture, and suffering in one tiny blow.” Jack then brought a finger to the boys neck, his finger was oozing black smoke as it gently touched the boys chin. Immediately, a lightning bolt’s worth of energy surged through the boy’s head as it exploded. Brains and skull fragments went everywhere as blood sprayed from the neck. The body fell to its knees and plopped onto the ground, dead. The gym teacher ran for Jack trying to tackle him, but Jack was ready, he simply stomped on the ground and a giant stone steak for every person in the room popped from the ground under each and every person. Stabbing through them and killing everyone in the room. Blood was everywhere as Jack slowly walked out of the gymnasium, leaving the fourth graders to see what had happened.

Jack walked into the hallway to find his reflection standing there, waiting for him. It turned its evil eyes to Jack and said, “How many survivors?”

“None.” Jack said as he brought a blood covered hand into view.

“Well done, my boy. Come with me, and together we will claim our revenge on the world.” With that, Discord turned into a cloud of smoke and seeped through the vents and slithered away. Jack began to run for the exit, his hands growing large whips at eh end with huge spiked weights at the end. Jack never felt so good doing things so evil, and he loved every second of it. Jack was going to enjoy killing everyone he saw.