Gale and I sat outside of his apartment in the sky sanctuary, our suits on and ready to head to the wedding. One problem, we had to wait for the girls to get ready first. I swear to God, for Luna and Dash it's just putting on dresses, same with Lisa and Marcy, the only one that would ever need to actually put make up on was Samantha, and she hates make up! So my question is...

"What the hell have they been doing in there for two hours?!" I yelled in frustration as I slumped up against a pillar.

"I know right? It took us not even five minutes for us to get ready, and that includes us sharpening our quills and polishing our steel." When it came to women, there were three things men would never know.

Why they always say "I'm fine" when they aren't.
How the hell they fit so much into their purses.
What they are doing when they are getting ready for something.

"I expected at least Rainbow to be out by now, but she's still in there, what the hell is taking so long?"

Gale shrugged and pulled out two tiny rolls of paper and a sandwich bag full of some kind of red mossy substance. "I don't know, but they ain't coming out any time soon, so why don't we see if this can calm us down?"

"Dude, I've seen and done weed before, that shit ain't weed, what is it?" I asked with a raised brow as I pointed to the stuff.

"Void weed dude, Marx gave me a few bags, how the hell do you think I'm so mellow right now?" He asked as he lit a blunt and took a puff, sighing happily. "Trust me man, this stuff is better than sex."

I just shrugged, not giving a crap. "Eh, why not? Pass it over."

10 minutes later

Gale and I lay on two small clouds, our eyes glowing green and our bodies limp, the sandwich bag empty and the last blunts in our mouths. "Gale?"

"Yeah man?"

"Am...am I a bad bro?"

"Nah...nah man...I mean...you could be better but...I don't know man."

There was a moment of silence.

"Gale?"

"Yeah man?"

"...I don't have a dick dude..."

"Oh...shit man...that's...that's somethin...hey man, look...look at that bird..."

"How the hell am...am I supposed to fuck man?"

"That's a nice ass bird..."

"What's my wedding night gonna be like man? I can't fuck man...I can't fuck..."

"Damnit look at that bird...I should kill it and turn it into...a robot or something."

"Dude, I'm freakin out..."

"I told you not to smoke over...over half the bag yourself..."

"Jus-jus help me man."

"What do you want me to do?"

"Just, just tell me I'm gonna be ok."

"Wha?"

"Just do it dude!"

"You're gonna be ok..."

"Oh thank God..."

We both sighed and spat out our used blunts, just laying there in complete silence, way too mellow to do anything else.

"Gale, how long have we been waiting on the girls?" I asked with barely any interest, my focus was on a moth with a top hat dancing on my nose. I may have had too much to smoke...

"I don't know, like, thirty years? I don't know, I stoppped counting after the third time the blood moon showed up." Seems he did too.

"You know man, I've been thinking..."

"That's dangerous...you thinking...fucked up shit always happens...fun shit but fucked up shit..." He joked while reaching for the bag, only to find it empty. "Awwww..."

"Like, with the wedding and shit...like...you think the girls are gonna...like...expect us to propose or something?"

Gale shakily sat up and waved his hand dismissively. "Nah...nah man...they won't except it...they're gonna fuckin demand it."

"Yeah...but...wait. If they're gonna demand it...don't they have to expect it first?" Somehow my logical systems were still online, although about half as baked as I was. In what world does cat equal puffer fish?

"Huh...guess you're right..."

"I'm always right."

"Nah...nah man, nah."

We both sighed again, our minds completely blank. Gale just started giggling for no reason while I started having an inward existential crisis for the eight time this month. Suddenly, we heard the hatch to the apartment open. I immediately used Chaos Control to freeze time while we filtered the drugs out of our systems and sprayed febreze everywhere, our eyes returning to normal. We stood ready just behind the open hatch and I unfroze time.

Gale and I both dropped our invisible jaws at the sight of the girls in their dresses, Luna and Dash had their manes styled while Lisa and Samantha had their pitch black hairs straight and shiny. The dresses of the two bipeds hugged their figures perfectly, while the mares were slim and sparkling.

Oh, and Marcy's was nice too I guess.

The girls just giggled at our reactions. After a few system reboots I was finally able to speak. "I'll take one of everything please." This earned me a punch in the back of the head from Gale, only for me to spin kick him and send him flying. "He'll be back soon."

Samantha just smirked and slowly made her way towards me, putting a finger under my chin. Her slim sparkling red dress and fishnet stockings driving me crazy. "It's alright hun, we expected a far worse reaction from you. And if you're good, we'll give you a little...treat." She said as all the girls, except for Marcy who was trying hard not to laugh, struck suggestive possses before bursting out into laughter as I struggled to get a word out, but all that was produced was a series of coughs and wheezing.

I shook my head and groaned. "Let's just get to Auldins world..." I said quietly as I opened up a portal, stepping to the side as Gale tried to charge me, only to end up flying through the portal. "Ladies first." I spoke with a poss accent with a small bow.

The girls just rolled their eyes before walking through, with me following behind before the portal collapsed.

Author's Notes:

I had way too much fun with this one