Beneath the speck of awareness that's me are orange limbs and hooves that looked like they belong to a pony. One lifts, seemingly by my command. It's a leg, a foreleg to be precise. It's connected to a body, and on that body are some tiny wings. They open up and–

“Aah!” Everything comes into focus with a sharp pang of searing pain. “Ow, ow, ow.” Stinging like needles, my poor limbs throb. I curl up, and the pain brings me tears. Finally, after an eternity of agony, it subsides on its own.

“That-ugh! Of all the things to fall asleep while I was, uh, out?” I shake my head. “Man, I've heard of out-of-body experiences, but I didn't know it was possible to have one while I was still inside of it.”

Now that I've been reclaimed by my own flesh, it's wasting no time reminding me of its needs. My stomach gurgles and my throat is dry. Oh bother, I don't want to worry about food! I'd rather think about my father, but I can't concentrate when I'm starving and parched.

{///}

Scootaloo groaned and looked around the cave again. The stalactites dripped with their own colors, which dribbled down on the matching stalagmites and pooled into a swirling rainbow stream. It was pretty, but it was wasn't water, nor was it even edible. She frowned a took a closer look at one of the rainbow floes on the wall.

All of the rainbow colors formed a veneer on top of the original gray rock formations that had been carved by real water. If she could find a place that was still dull and gray, she could probably quench her thirst. There wasn't a place like that in the entrance room, but a small passage further back looked promising.

Tentatively, Scootaloo climbed inside of it. It wasn't a tight fit for a small pony like her, but no pegasus enjoyed being in cramped spaces. Beyond the hole, the cave opened up again, but it was too dark to see much. She tried waiting for her eyes to adjust, but eventually gave up and followed her ears listening for running water.

The first pool she came to she couldn't see. She dipped her hoof in it and held that up to what little light there was. Her hoof came out yellow. Nope, not water. She tried again with a different pool and wound up with a green hoof. She wondered if she should try to drink the stuff anyway. Rainbows weren't that toxic, were they? She frowned. She'd rather not chance it.

Her third attempt, she held up an orange hoof. Scootaloo groaned. It was dark and she was fumbling around and it was probably hopeless anyway. Wait—orange? She held up her other hoof that she hadn't dipped and they both looked the same. Duh! Orange was her natural color. Scootaloo still sniffed at the dark pool that she couldn't quite see. It didn't have any odor. Slowly, she extended her tongue. It tasted metallic, but it was definitely water. She must have found a spring that hadn't been contaminated.

Happily, she slurped up what she could to assuage her thirst, quickly draining the small pool. She sniffed around for more.

“Sorry for taking so long, but I had trouble at the market. I had to make certain that they were of the best quality and—Scootaloo? Where are you? Scootaloo!”

“Mom, I'm back here!” Scootaloo abandoned her search for water and ran back towards the light. That turned out to be a bad idea, because she tripped over something in the darkness and went tumbling. Rolling out of the opening and back into the cavern's gaping entrance, she flipped over and landed on her back against a sparkling, yellow stalagmite. “Aaah!”

“Scootaloo, are you okay!?” Celestia was there immediately.

Scootaloo righted herself and nodded, though she also cringed with pain. “Yeah, I'm okay. I just bumped my wing, is all. It's still sore from this morning.”

“You hurt your wing?”

“Well, yeah. I was trying to fly and pushed them too hard. My left one seized up and that was the end of that.”

“Oh no, you poor little thing.” Celestia pulled her close to pick her up and hold her. “Why didn't you tell me sooner?” {Another hug? Unwarranted? If I alter Scoot's characterization in the previous chapter, she may need to push away here.}

“Huh? It's nothing. I mean, Fluttershy already fixed it.” Scootaloo sighed. “It's just too bad she couldn't make it work right while she was at it.”

“Don't say things like that. It works just fine for who you are.” Scootaloo groaned as Celestia poked at the injury with her magic. “What happened to it? I see a bruise, but only at the base.”

“She said it got dislocated. It kind of stuck out at an odd angle.”

“Dislocated? That can be a serious injury if its not treated right. You've got to stay off that wing until it heals.” Celestia pulled out a roll of bandages. “Now hold still.”

“Mom, what are you doing?” Scootaloo was held tight as her mother wrapped her up. She couldn't have moved if she'd tried. Eventually, the filly was released and she was now adorned with one fresh splint. “Is this really necessary? I mean, it's already starting to feel better. It only really hurt when I bumped it.”

“You shouldn't be bumping it. This will keep it safe until you can recover. You should keep off it a few days.”

“Days? But mom, it's not broken.” Scootaloo looked up with wide puppy-dog eyes.

“Dear, I know you're eager to run about and be wild, but if you hurt your wing again before it has a chance to heal, you could do some permanent damage.”

“Aw, okay.” Scootaloo drooped her head. The only thing more potent than puppy dog eyes was overprotective mothers.

“Cheer up, Scootaloo. I brought you a gift.” With her horn aglow, she floated over a bouquet consisting mostly of yellow tulips. There were also white daisies, purple bell flowers, onion grass, and something red with a lot of long, thin petals that Scootaloo couldn't identify. “I'm sorry that I've been mostly absent from your life. I know it's been hard and flowers can't make up for it but–”

Scootaloo snatched the bouquet out of the air. “Yay, lunch!” The flowers were just as tasty as they smelled, full of nectar and natural floral spices.

Celestia's eyes popped open. Briefly, she looked horrified as the overly-expensive floral arrangement was gobbled up. Then she lost her composure and fell over laughing.

Finishing up, Scootaloo wiped petals off her cheeks. “Huh, what's so funny?”

With one last chortle, Celestia straightened herself back up. She peered into Scootaloo's eyes. “Oh, It's nothing. You've just reminded me of how much I've missed having a child in my life. That's all.” {That sounds like something. /facehoof}

“If you missed me so much, then why did you keep everything secret? I mean...” Scootaloo frowned. Was this really all about keeping up appearances? Was Celestia's image really more important to her than her own daughter?

Celestia sighed and twirled a hoof in the colored stream. Rainbow eddies curled around it. “If only I wasn't such a tightly scrutinized public figure...” She turned away to stare at the roaring colorfall which concealed the entrance of the cavern. After a moment of silence, she turned back to her daughter. “Scootaloo, you saw what happened in my past. My reasoning might not be the best, but I was ashamed of what I'd done.”

Scootaloo didn't answer. She turned away and watched the color drip from a green stalactite. No. You're ashamed of me. You just can't bring yourself to say it. Celestia stepped closer. The sound she made wasn't the clack of keratin, but the ring of metal. Even the way she walked was beautiful and serene, but it was all a facade, one that held a terrible secret: Scootaloo. {revised the last three paragraphs to add this angst. Too early? Dunno, perhaps fiddle with this more}

“Dear, you don't have to be upset. It's not you I'm ashamed of, just myself. On the night of your conception, your father wasn't in a sound state of mind. He was in no condition to give proper consent. To my regret, I took advantage of him.”

Scootaloo twisted and glared. How can you say that you're not ashamed of me, then admit that you regret having me! She wanted to voice those words, but held her tongue. If she spoke, she'd be sure to burst into tears. Scootaloo was stronger than that.

Celestia frowned at Scootaloo's reaction, but turned away. More to herself than her daughter, she added, “Yes, it was wrong of me. That kind of thing is very frowned upon–”

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{PLACEHOLDER FOR BREAK TIME}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} {Le sigh. This line of revision is requiring a rewrite of this scene. I'll stop for now then return after checking ahead. The goal here will be to reach a reconciliation of some sort, but the venom in Scootaloo's reasoning needs to persist at least partly if it's going to come up later.}

“Wait, so you didn't want to get in trouble?”

“Hmm, partly, but you have to understand that because of who I am, and what I do, when I'm the one who does something wrong, it sets a very bad example for everypony else. Plus there are always ponies who'd refuse to believe that I'd be capable of any wrongdoing. In their minds, they'd blame your father, not me.”

“Huh? But didn't you say it wasn't his fault?” Scootaloo frowned. She fidgeted with the wrapper her bouquet came in and chewed on a piece of onion grass she'd missed.

“Yes. He was the real victim, and by revealing what had happened, he'd become even more of one. It was better for his sake to avoid the whole scandal and keep things secret.”

“Oh.” Scootaloo met her mother's gaze. She still had that frown on her face and drooped her eyelids a bit. “I mean, I like existing and all, but if it was going to be that much trouble, then why would you even do it in the first place?”

“Now that is a harder question to answer because it involves feelings that you won't understand until your older–” Scootaloo opened her mouth to complain, but Celestia shushed her “–but I will say this: back then, I thew away my better judgment because I expected him to forget what had happened, it'd be easy to hide, and I didn't expect to get pregnant.”

Scootaloo raised an eyebrow. “What? Why didn't you expect that? Isn't the whole point of the, ugh, thing with the things to...” She stuck out her tongue and shuddered.

“Dear, when, um, 'they' talked to you about reproduction, they must have mentioned a few other things aside from how it happens?”

“It was Cheerilee, and yes, she did say a few other things.”

Celestia nodded. “Did she say anything about the consequences of waiting too long before trying to have a foal?”

“Uh, she said that the older you are, the harder it becomes to conceive, and the more like it is that you'll have complications...” Scootaloo's eyes popped open and she frowned at her bandaged wings. “Is that why I can't fly? Because you're so old?”

Celestia frowned. She probably didn't like being called 'old.' “I don't think so...” She shifted uneasily. “But you asked why I expected nothing to happen. It's because I hadn't been able to conceive in over a thousand years. I didn't think it was possible.”

“Ah.” Scootaloo's ears drooped and her head hung low. “So you didn't want me, then?”

“I didn't say that–”

Scootaloo snapped her head up. Her eyes flashed with anger. “You hardly ever visit; you kicked me out as soon as you could, and you just finished telling me what an awful inconvenience I was! What else am I supposed to believe!” {Good, I was worried that the breaking point happened later. Once I finish the earlier revision, this should pack more punch.}

“That's not what I was saying–”

“Saying? What about doing? You left left me to rot all on my own for the sake of somepony who doesn't even know that I exist!”

“You weren't alone. Pipe Down–”

“–is so old that he can hardly take care of himself, let alone me! Aaargh!” Scootaloo took aim at a blue stalagmite and bucked it as hard as she could. A sharp crack reverberated through air from the impact.

Silence fell and the only sound was the steady roar of the colorfall outside. The glassy, colored veneer had shattered from the impact, leaving a spiderweb lattice of cracks surrounding a hole all the way down to the gray limestone base. Tinkling like glass, shards of the gem-like blue glassy coating wobbled on the floor. Scootaloo picked a piece up and rolled it in her hoof. This was such a beautiful place and she'd gone and marred it...

“Are you feeling better?” Celestia's voice was soft and calm.

Scootaloo dropped the shard and clenched her eyes shut. Her eyes stung and she couldn't stop the tears from coming out. For better or worse, the alicorn princess in front of her was her mother, yet it felt alien to think of Celestia like that. “No. You've let me grow up without you.”

Celestia stiffened. Her wide eyes misted over and she drooped her head. “My little baby.” She pulled Scootaloo close to hold the filly against her chest. Wrapping her tightly in her wings, she sniffled and nuzzled against her daughter's cheek. This was not the ruler of Equestria; this was a mother who'd lost her way.

“Mom–” Scootaloo started squirming.

“Ssh. Can you be still a moment longer?”

With a small sigh, Scootaloo closed her eyes. She supposed she should feel comforted by the loving embrace, but her heart felt uneasy. It would take more than a hug to fix what was wrong. Still, her mother obviously cared. Was she being too hard? Celestia's reasoning might be hard to swallow, but Scootaloo was just an unimportant speck. The world almost literally revolved around the Sun Princess. The hug was nice, if a bit smothering, and about ten years too late. For the moment, Scootaloo let go of her anger and allowed herself to imagine that this is what it must feel like to have a mother who had always loved her and put her first.

Within the caverning maw of colors, the two ponies laid there with the smaller one deeply entrenched in the other's embrace. A multicolor mist of sparkling droplets hung in the air by the entrance. The prismatic mist caught light that filtered in through the larger, roaring rainbow and formed multiprismatic rainbow arcs that traversed many hues. Glistening wet droplets of pure color slowly beaded up on the tips of the dangling stalactites only to drop off and splatter onto the waiting stalagmites below. A stream of vibrant rainbow colors swirled against the edge of the cavern wall. Yet in the entire cavern, the single most eye-catching droplet was a bead of perfectly clear liquid that dripped off the white mare's cheek.

Scootaloo squirmed again when Celestia tightened her grip. The pain ruined the moment. “Ouch! You're squeezing my wing.”

“Sorry.” The large alicorn loosened her grip, but didn't let go. Scootaloo squirmed again and popped free. She nearly fell over but steadied herself by grabbing a green stalagmite.

The small filly looked up into her mother's teary eyes. What was Scootaloo thinking? Her mother did love her; this life had been hard on her too. Scootaloo's outburst had been for no good reason. “I'm Sorry; I shouldn't have yelled at you. I don't know what came over me.”

Celestia took a deep breath and sighed. “You don't have to make excuses for honesty, Scootaloo. It was a heavy blow, but nothing less than I deserved.”

Scootaloo glanced back at the shattered stalagmite. She was certainly on a roll today—her wing, her mother, the scenery—was she going to break everything? Her mind wandered back to her birthday party this morning. The presents she got were because her old gear was broken. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle might be annoying at times but she didn't know what she'd do without them.

In fact, they were the brightest points in her life, far more so than Celestia. What would even happen if Scootaloo decided to tell her them the truth? Would she have to go back to live in Canterlot? She wasn't certain she could bear to part from them. And what about her father? Wouldn't that ruin him as Celestia said? It wouldn't be fair to inflict that on a pony she'd never met.

“Dear, you don't have to frown so hard. When we tell the others about this, there won't be anything stopping us from spending a lot more time together.” {Uh... where did this come from? It appears like Celestia's reading minds}

“But what if I still want to keep things secret?”

“I—what?” Celestia blinked. “But you seemed so happy when I said you didn't have to.”

“That was before I had a chance to think. I don't want to live in Canterlot. I don't want to lose my friends. I don't want to hurt–” Scootaloo paused. There was another pony she had trouble picturing as one of her parents. “–dad.”

“Who said you had to live in Canterlot?”

“But how could we 'spend more time together' if we live in different places?”

“I–” Celestia's lips trembled and tears ran down her cheeks. “Please forgive me. This is so hard for me. This is the first time we've talked like this since, well, we've never talked like this before. I've come to realize that you've been a hole in my life, an empty part that just yearns to be filled. I feel like I'm just starting to get you back, and yet, you sound l-like–” Her voice started trembling and she stopped. She took a deep breath and paused to compose herself. “–like, you want me to let you go.”

Scootaloo's heart lurched. She ran up to hug her mother's leg. “Mom, it's not like that. I—” This was hard for her, but despite the distance between them both emotionally and physically, she had to say it for both their sakes. The world didn't have to be pain. “—I love you.”

“I love you too.” Celestia returned the embrace and nuzzled her daughter's cheek. That must have been what she needed to hear because while she was still crying, she put a smile on her face.

They didn't stay wrapped together as long this time and Celestia released her daughter to look into her eyes. “I guess if you don't want to live with me, I can respect that. You grew up in Ponyville, and that place is your home now.”

Scootaloo nodded. Her real home was with her friends.

“But still, there must be something I can do for you—anything. Just name it and I'll make it yours.”

“What? Anything?” Scootaloo raised an eyebrow.

“Well, anything I reasonably can. It is your birthday, and you deserve a bit more from your mother than just an expensive lunch.”

Scootaloo frowned. The pain in her wing was little more than a dull ache now, but the pain in her heart wasn't likely to ever fade. This business about her father might be important, but she set that aside. She'd deal with those emotions later. What she wanted most of all wasn't something that any pony could give her, but, well, if such a thing was possible then the powerful alicorn in the whole world would be the one who could do it. She looked up with wide eyes and met her mother's gaze. “Mom, I want to fly.” Next Chapter: Scootaloo Ascendent Estimated time remaining: 1 Hour, 17 Minutes