“Princess Celestia, are you there?” The unending emptiness of the starry void swallows my voice without even the barest hint of an echo. I'm so nervous that I could bolt, but there isn't any place to bolt to.

“Calm yourself, I am here.”

What? How did she appear so suddenly? I blink and, whoa, translucent eyelids are very unnerving. Unlike myself, she's crisp, real, and has a solidity that seems to defy reality. It's almost as if this universe is a ghost compared to her, just an extension of her sparkling, wavy mane. She looks absolutely divine in this heavenly wasteland.

I run over and huddle at her side, and I'd rather not admit it, but her warmth extends beyond mere temperature. Being in her presence is comforting, as it keeps this the vastness of the universe attempting to swallow me into oblivion at bay. “What is this place? Why is it so empty? Why am I transparent?”

“Scootaloo, this place is known as the Halls of Ascension, and it is less empty than you think.” Celestia points a gold-clad hoof down the milky path before us. Dozens of floating images open up from invisible slits and hover in the air. I... I'm at a bit of loss as to how to describe it. It's like she poured out my mind and made a living slideshow from my memories. But... I don't remember that.

“Wha–?” Running up to one, I can't help but drop my jaw as my baby self spills her bowl of greenish glop on the floor. Celestia motions again and the images fade away.

“This is the place where ponies come when they are ready to become a princess. Here, they reflect upon the vast accomplishments in their lives.”

Princess? Well, this is sudden. “You think I'm ready to be a princess?”

Celestia giggles. Her creamy mane covers one eye, and with a hoof over her mouth it looks as if she's whispering a secret to herself. “Only if you can find your own way here in the flesh. All I can do is bring you here in spirit.”

“Oh.” I look down, and through, myself. So this is some sort of dream state? I guess that explains why I'm hollow, but it's still disappointing. Turning into a princess would have been awesome! Hmm, I suppose I can ask. “Do you think that I could become one someday?”

“That is for time to tell. Nopony who makes it here ever sets out to become one. That, and I think that the answer will become clearer once your destiny is known.” Celestia points at my blank flank. Yeesh, way to rub it in, why don't you?

I frown. Of all the things I'd asked about, how could I forget to ask about my cutie mark too?

Celestia has a knowing look in her eyes. “I'm sorry, but there are some things that you need to discover on your own. What your cutie mark is going to be is one of those things.”

“Aw.” Wow, she's really piling on the disappointments, and I didn't even ask for that one. Well, obsessing about the cutie mark is more of Apple Bloom's thing, anyway. I'm going to keep pressing about my useless wings until I learn the real truth. “So what can you show me? Does my father have something to do with why I can't fly?”

“There's no reason for you to blame him for that.” Reaching in the air, Celestia pauses. “Before I reveal him, can I ask what you expect to see?”

Probably a loser, I think, darkly, but I can't say that, not to mom. “Uh, well, I guess I hadn't really thought about it. Maybe tiny wings, like Bulk Biceps, and, uh, orange I guess? Why do you ask?” Did I just think of her as mom? Why did I do that? Is it because we're talking about dad? Gah! It's just so weird!

“Well, I don't want to disappoint you. He isn't some sort of secret agent who got sent off on a spy mission or some foreign dignitary from a far-off and exotic land.”

“Oh, that kind of thing. Wait—if he isn't one of those then what else can he be?”

Celestia's examining me, but her eyes aren't betraying any emotion that I can read. She turns and opens one of those floating windows. This one shows a picture of herself. In the image, she's standing alone on her royal balcony before the sky. Her horn's alit with a soft glow and the sun gently sinks beneath the horizon by her command. The sky responds with brilliant golds, bright oranges, and deep reds, but her past self doesn't smile. Her gaze is empty and she stands there impassive.

“Why are you showing me this? Don't you do that every day?” I ask.

“Patience. I want you to see this night as I remember it.”

It's weird seeing Celestia stand next to a vision of her past self, as they both look identical. Her past version brings her head down, horn still glowing. When she lifts it again, the moon comes with it, and its motion follows her gaze in the sky. Huh? “The moon? Why are you raising the moon?”

“Luna's only been back for two years. This was nearly eleven years ago.”

“Oh, right. I forgot you used to do that too.”

“Shh.” Celestia taps a hoof to her lips as her past self begins to speak.

“Just nine more years... It's hard to believe that you've been gone for so long.” The past Celestia sighs. “I'm so very lonely without you, sister, but you're still not yourself, are you? The elements don't respond to me any more. I keep trying, but... I'm afraid they've moved on. They might have faded away over the years and now we're defenseless. I don't know what to do; I just don't. Everypony looks to me for answers, but who do I have? Sometimes, I wish I had somepony to hold me, to tell me—huh?” White ears perk up and swivel towards the open hallway behind her. “Who could that be?”

“Who were you talking to?” I ask.

“Myself mostly, but I was also talking to the moon.” She shushes me, and points at the scene still playing out.

“I thought I asked not to be disturbed at this hour.” Past Celestia confronts a pair of white unicorn guards.

“We're sorry, Princess, but there was a disturbance and the captain asked us to heighten security.” They respectfully bow in her presence, but glance at each other and share a grin, an action that caused past Celestia to raise an eyebrow. They take posts on either side of the portcullis.

Hmm, I guess it would make sense if a guardpony were my father, as they spend a lot of time close to my mother, but this situation makes me uneasy. Those two are planning something. I'm looking at them, but I don't see any resemblance. “Is one of them my father?”

“No, but he's coming soon. You'll know him when you see him.”

Past Celestia opens her mouth as if to comment, but like me, she's distracted by another disturbance down the hall. That has to be my father, yet... I can't even see him and already know there's something's seriously wrong with him. There's no rhythm or purpose to his motion and half his hoofsteps sound like they're scuffing on the floor. For a short walk, it feels like an eternity before he finally steps into view. He has an orange coat, like me, and his mane style's similar to mine, just electric blue instead of violet. He's also dressed in royal armor that doesn't fit very well, with green star on the front marks him as fresh recruit.

I... I can hardy bear to watch as he bangs against the wall and wobbles like some sort of gelatin cake. That's my father!? I'm seriously embarrassed for him, and I want to look away, but I can't tear my eyes off of him. It's a morbid curiosity on my part; if I blink, I might miss seeing him do something even lamer. Oddly, the other guards don't make any move to stop him and let him shamble out on the balcony.

“Sshpth,” he shakes his head and puffs out his chest. Nnngh. He sounds so retarded! He tries to extend his wings, but he isn't paying any attention whatsoever and slaps one against the railing. No surprise, he falls over. “You's pwetty hawt. I likes yer eyes.”

Gah! I know that mom just wants me to watch but this is too stupid! “What the hay is that?! He's an abomination! He can't even walk straight and he can barely speak.” Why would she even—? Off all the awful things in this world—if he really is my father than that means...! “No wonder I'm such a cripple; he's a retard! Or, or, a zompony! Or a retarded zompony!”

Celestia gives me an odd look, like one who isn't sure if she should laugh or frown. “Scootaloo, there's noting wrong with him, nor with you for that matter. I guess you've never seen anypony get drunk before, have you?”

Huh? How can that be normal? I've seen how Rainbow Dash acts around cider, and it's definitely not like that! “Doesn't that just make you loud?”

Celestia rubs a hoof against her chin, eyeing me suspiciously. Great. I hope she doesn't think that I was the one drinking. “In moderation it can, but if one drinks too much, motions become impeded which includes the ability to speak.”

“Why would anypony ever want to drink that much?” I ask.

“That is a good question, but it's one that far too many ponies find an answer for. Scootaloo, have you ever heard of hazing?”

Hazing? That sounds weather-like. Does that have something to do with fog? I scrunch up my face in thought, but my transparency is too distracting. Am I starting to fade? That's a disturbing thought. Celestia's looking at me expectantly. I frown and shake my head.

“Hazing is something that's long been discouraged, but still pops up every now and then. Generally, it's when a group of ponies initiate a new member into their ranks by forcing them to perform a dangerous or humiliating act. In this case, those senior guards had forced this new recruit to get drunk and dared him to proposition me.”

Not cool. “It sounds like an extreme prank.”

“Yes, you could say that. Don't think that it's harmless, though, as such an act can have permanent consequences.” Celestia reaches out and touches my nose.

“Uh...” She's talking about me? As if I'm some sort of mistake? Didn't she want me? No, if she had, she wouldn't have sent me away. Ouch, she might as well have gone ahead and stabbed me in the heart with her horn. It would have hurt less.

“Don't worry, they were properly disciplined afterward.” Her attention's turned back to the frozen image, giving me time to sniffle quietly and rub my eyes. I have my friends back home who love me. I don't need her. She's never really been my mother, and the sooner we can get this over with and part ways the better.

I'm of half a mind just to leave, but there's nowhere to go and I am still curious. Dad... he might be a loser, but he's my loser. I'm going to see this though for his sake.

Celestia's past self furrows her brow in a flash of anger. The other guards snicker, but try to hide it, poorly. Past Celestia's eyebrow rises a sliver, and she pauses. Wow, did she figure everything out just from that? A sly grin works its way onto her face. Instead of reprimanding them, she's playing along?

“You've a fine set of orbs of vision yourself.” Past Celestia reaches down and helps the orange pony back onto his hooves.

“Ora-visiash vi-shnth wha?”

“I can clearly see that you're a stallion of many fine words. I bet that you play a mean game of chess too.”

“Hey, thatsh riwht. I won a gabe onsh, but I had to mobe my wook whend da odder pony washn't looking.”

His words are so garbled that I barely make out half of what he's saying. I know Celestia said this was temporary, but I have to wince whenever he opens his mouth. It's just so embarrassing. “What is he saying?” I ask.

Celestia pauses the image. “He just bragged about cheating at chess.”

“What? Why would he do that?”

Shrugging, she says, “Alcohol addles the mind, but it can also make ponies more honest, after a fashion. They tend to lose their inhibitions, so he had no reason to question if I'd approve of his actions.”

I still didn't get it, but she seems to know what she's talking about.

The image resumes again and the other guards snicker again. Past Celestia gives a slight nod, as if confirming her suspicion. She turns back to my father.

“I really likes yer eyes,” he repeats. “I'd wuv to put dem in my shky.”

“You... what?” Past Celestia blinks. She gives my father her complete attention. I bury my face in my hooves. This is just too dumb to watch, but I guess I have no choice, as I can see through my hooves.

“Shtars to hold da moon, and set you fwee as fwiendsh.”

“Interesting.” Past Celestia's expression softens. She turns away from him and looks at the moon. Her eyes sparkles and a warm smile graces her face, and this is just so sappy that I could gag. How can she understand him?

“What kind of gibberish was that?” I ask.

“I think, perhaps, that he'd been trying to recite the words of some romantic poem he once heard, but he obviously garbled them.” Celestia smiles at her past self. At least she's enjoying it. “Because of them, I had a bit of a revelation about the prophecy concerning the return of Nightmare Moon. There was always one part that confused me. When I used the elements to banish Nightmare Moon, they also drained her alicorn power and gave it to me. While I've never been able to enter dreams, I did have complete dominion over the sky. On the longest day of the thousandth year, the stars would aid in Nightmare Moon's escape, but who else but me controlled the stars?”

“What was your reva-reva-whatever?” That's a mouthful.

“Revelation. Who else but me controlled the stars?” She looks at me with a very somber expression. It looks like a mix of defeat and regret, like she's wrestling with a terrible guilt.

“You mean...?”

Celestia nods. “Yes. When the time came, I was the one who set Nightmare Moon free. But rest assured that I already had a plan set in motion to deal with her. I was certain that Twilight could do it, but she needed a real crisis on her hooves to form the bonds of friendship needed to restore the Elements of Harmony.”

“Uh...” Wow, I never would have expected that. Hadn't Twilight said that there was no plan other than a vague request to 'make some friends'? Celestia risked all of Equestria on what amounted to a whim? Sure, it worked, but...

Well, I can see the pain in her eyes. Part of me wants to scream at her for what she did, but another part takes guilty pleasure in this. She doesn't look at me with that kind of guilt, so while I may have been an accident, at least she doesn't regret me. That's because she doesn't really know me, a dark part of my mind chimes in. Once she realizes how damaged I am...

Once again, the image of a giant chicken squawking down at me fills my mind. Gah! What a stupid dream. Why does it keep haunting me? I hate it, hate it, hate it!

“Oh, oh my. Listen to me ramble on. I'm sorry I got off topic. Let's skip ahead to speed things up.”

I'm going to try my best to forget about that and focus on dad. I have an uneasy feeling that this might be the only time that I get to see him. The image shifts into a blur, but even that doesn't help him any. His high-speed lurching antics are still lame. I'm disappointed. Dad just isn't a cool a pony. He's young, acting stupid, and the lowest rank possible in the military. Basically, he's a nopony. He's a nopony that Celestia opted to protect at my expense. It's not like I would have cared about a scandal back then. I was just a baby!

This doesn't make sense! Why would she do that? What's so special about him? I need to know more!

“Mom, who is he? What's him name?”

“Oh, it's... Hmm...” Her voice trails off and my heart sinks.

“You never even asked for his name!?”

“I did, but somehow I don't think 'Love Prince Sail-arr of the Moon' is the name he normally uses.” There's a weariness on her face, but it's like a sheen compared to the emptiness in my heart.

“Why would you not ask for it later? I mean, when he wasn't drunk?” I ask angrily. Well, I didn't mean to sound angry, but I did. Oh who am I kidding? I have every right to be angry. Everything—everything—that's happened thus far has been extremely uncool.

“He was too drunk to remember what happened that night, and I didn't want to jog his memory by approaching him the next morning. By the time I noticed there was something... different about myself, he'd already been reassigned.” Celestia sighs and closes her eyes.

“What? You don't even know where he is?” Gah! I might not like my father here, but I don't really know him. I'd like to at least meet him someday but now that's not even going to be possible? How could she be so callous with my life? Didn't she think that I'd care?

Staring at my frown, she eventually says, “There's a pony who matches his description currently working as a guard in the Crystal Empire.”

“But there are hundreds of guards in the Crystal Empire! I'll never find him!”

“Scootaloo, how many orange guard ponies have you seen?”

“Uhh...” Now that she mentions it, they're mostly crystal. Hmm...

“I don't know why, but only white and gray ponies ever sign up for the guard. An orange pony in uniform is a real oddity.”

“Great. He's a freak like me,” I groan.

“Scootaloo, of all things, the colors of one's coat doesn't make somepony a 'freak'.”

“Even if he's jet black with a blood red mane?”

“Correction: The colors of one's coat usually don't make somepony a freak. He'd be ordinary enough outside the military. Perhaps he joined because he wanted to stand out. There's nothing wrong with that.” Celestia has that soft, yet firm expression that Cheerilee gets when she's assigning detention. Great, the one time Celestia acts like a real parent is to admonish me.

I shrug. “Whatever. I still don't see why you'd want to hide everything to protect him. He's nothing special, so why bother?”

“Why don't we let the scene finish playing out before I answer that?” She points at the image floating in the starry void and it springs into motion. The scene hasn't changed much aside from a few ponies shifting position. Past Celestia now has her back to the portcullis where the other guards are and dad's leaning over the railing. He's saying something, but I still can't understand that incomprehensible babbling. I'd rather not hear it all given how rancid his voice sounds.

Past Celestia averts her gaze and looks directly at the moon. When she does, the unicorn guards levitate a bottle over to the orange pony. He grabs it and pops the cork with his teeth, getting past Celestia's attention. Wow, he's still nimble when he needs to be, though I can't help be feel ill about the thought of the contents of that bottle.

“Is that more alcohol?” I ask. “Hadn't he had enough already?”

“Yes, and I suppose those guards expected me to believe that he'd brought it with him, too. I already said they were going to be punished. With that stunt, they just made things worse for themselves.”

Past Celestia yanks the bottle from his hooves and sniffs it. “This is really strong. Where did you get it?”

He feebly waves his hooves in the air trying to reach the bottle. Attempting to spread his wings, all he manages is to flop them around. He looks really, really pathetic. “Hey, datsh mine. It wash a gifbt frob da booze ghoshts.”

“From the booze ghosts? Really?” Past Celestia is unimpressed.

“Yesh, it'sh haunted. It flew through da air wisth a glow from beyond.”

A familiar noise grates at my ears. Ugh. Do those shameless guards do anything but snicker? Don't they know that past Celestia's watching their reflection on the bottle? Her eyes narrow, but she keeps her attention on my father. “Really?”

“Itsh shpecial. If ya drinksh it fasht enouf, you can make a wish on your refleshion in da bottom.”

“Drink it?” She sniffs it again. “Oh, why not?” Past Celestia pops the bottle in her mouth and guzzles the whole thing in a few gulps. Why am I watching this? Isn't she supposed to be setting a good example? Her past self's eyes pop open and her pupils shrink. Her cheeks flush and she catches herself looking into the eyes of the stallion she'd taken the bottle from. “Wow, that really was strong.” The bottle drops and bounces up through the balcony's railing and disappears over the edge of Canterlot into the night. “I wish I hadn't just drunk that.” You can say that again. I wish I hadn't just watched you drink that. I already knew that dad was a loser, but this time I cringed from mom's antics. Were both of my parents excessively stupid that night?

“What? No! You can't wish for dat. Are you trying to make da shpirits angry?”

Past Celestia's breathing turns shallow and rapid. She reaches for him and pauses. Closing her eyes, she steadies herself and takes deep breaths. That's an odd reaction.

“Mom, what's wrong? You look–” How can I describe it? “–huffy?”

“That wasn't just a bottle of wine, Scootaloo. It was also spiked with an aphrodisiac.”

A what now? “What's that?”

“It's like a mild love potion.” She gives me a piecing stare and I feel a chill. Great, Twilight must have written to her about that mess I helped cause on Hearts and Hooves Day. Speaking of messes...

“Is that why you and dad–?”

“Perhaps it helped some, but it wasn't strong enough to override my rational thoughts. It did make me really angry, though—not at your father, of course, but at the others. If anything, my time with your father was in spite of that wine and not because of it.”

Past Celestia positiones herself between dad and the other guards. The image flickers strangely, and she steps to the side, spreading a wing as she does do. The orange pony gets caught in her feathers and winds up pathetically pinned against the balcony railing. He makes muffled protests.

Pointing at the empty floor, past Celestia says, “Now that's a shame. It looks like he finally passed out. And we were having such a wonderfully intellectual conversation. Oh, well. Would you two please escort him back to the barracks?” What the hay? The other guards nod and drape empty air over their shoulders!

“What's going on? What are they doing?” I scratched my head.

Celestia pauses the image. She put a hoof on my ghostly shoulder and looks into my eyes. “The images here in the Halls of Reflection show only the barest of truths. The illusion I created to distract the other guards existed only in their own minds. That is why you cannot see it here.”

It's a magic thing, huh. I guess that makes sense. I'd rather not stare into Celestia's eyes so I focus my attention on the picture instead.

“Oh, and one more thing–” Past Celestia pauses and those awful unicorn guards turn to look at her “–I want to see the both of you in the guard house at the crack of dawn tomorrow. Do not be late or there will be severe consequences.” They gulp and hurry off.

The image freezes again and Celestia sighs. “Originally, I was just going to give them a stern talking to, but after that last stunt I felt perfectly justified in dressing them down and kicking them out when they showed up late the next morning.”

“What? Why would they show up late after a dire warning like that?” I ask.

“Because I raised the sun an hour early.” Celestia starts the image again. Well... okay, that was kinda cool.

Once they were alone, past Celestia releases him from her wing-pin and pulls him around to kiss him on the lips. Ew, yuck! He's surprised, but has a stupid grin on his face when she finishes. This is so gross! She magically grabs his green star and practically drags him by his gorget after her down the hall.

Past Celestia opens a large wooden door emblazed with a stylized sun and grins. “My bedroom's here. Why don't you come on in, Sail-arr? I'm ready to 'walk that plank' of yours,” she purrs.

The image abruptly vanishes. I blink. “Hey. Why'd you stop it now? What happened next?”

“Scootaloo, I think you know what happened next.”

“No I don't, or I wouldn't be asking.”

Celestia stands tall, staring down at me with a flat look on her face. Did I do something wrong? Sure, it was gross but...

Finally, Celestia asks, “Scootaloo, what do you know about reproduction?”

Oh, that. “You mean that thing where he takes his thing and does that thing to your thing?”

“Yes, that, exactly.” Celestia nods. She looks relieved that she doesn't have to explain it. To be frank, I'm super-glad that I won't be hearing about it again. Ick!

I stick out my tongue and wince. “Eww, gross.”

“Hmm, I guess, but you won't always think so.”

“Mo-om. Can we please not talk about that?” I shudder.

“Of course.” Celestia bends down to kiss Scootaloo me on the forehead. I gag. All I can think of is that vision of her snogging my father. “But we still need to talk about him. Hmm...” She pauses. “Scootaloo, are you feeling okay? You're looking quite transparent.”

“I am?” I hold both hooves in front of me and looked through them. They hardly even tint the starry void beyond. “Whoa, I guess I am. Uh, I feel a bit...” Light? Faint? Hollow? Nothing? “I don't really feel anything.”

“I was afraid of that. Your inner light is fading.”

“It's what?” That doesn't sound good. I pat myself; I still feel solid, but it's like patting a tree. There's no me in there.

Celestia puts a hoof on my shoulder, touching my form gently. “It's one of the dangers of this place, but don't worry, it's nothing serious. I am going to have to send you back to recover, though. I have some shopping to do and I'll join you again shortly.”

Celestia's horn flickers and wraps me in her glow. Idly, I note that her magic's more solid and real than I am.

….

Suddenly, my raw awareness is back in the rainbow cavern. A green stalagmite sparkles and reflects eyes—eyes that looked like they belong to a pony. Something shifts and the perspective changes. There's a sensation of pushing against something solid, but that can't be right. I'm just a single point of awareness. Next Chapter: Mother and Daughter Estimated time remaining: 1 Hour, 31 Minutes