“So, you’re an alien?”

“Basically.”

Yeah, I told him. The guy talked me down from suicide; I think he deserves the truth. Only thing I left out was yesterday’s visit from the witch. I don’t know if she’s okay with me telling people, but I’d rather not piss off a being that can shatter the space time continuum. Better safe than sorry, right?

Oddly enough, the only thing that really seemed to faze him was the knowledge that cat people don’t appear in the show. Actually, considering I’m one of them now, it kind of bugs me too. What gives Hasbro? We’re definitely cute enough.
And I know you want to ask about the sacred grove, but don’t. I’m not allowed to tell you.

“That’s…fucked up.”

“You’re really getting the hang of this cursing thing.”

Yep. I was teaching him human curses. Why? Because they’re a lot better than anything they have here. And it helped keep my mind off…things.

“You don’t believe me at all, do you?”

“Of course I do. That story is too crazy to not be real. I just don’t understand this internet thing you keep going on about. How can it possibly be both the best and the worst thing humanity has ever invented?”

“Because it’s the internet dude. It is illogic incarnate.”

“That makes no sense.”

“Which is the entire point.”

He made an annoyed grunting sound. There was absolutely no arguing with internet logic. Just like drunk logic, dream logic, and whatever the hell Pinkie Pie uses.

I think we were getting close to the village. Some of the trees on this path looked familiar. It had taken almost all night to get back and the sun was just starting to lighten the eastern sky. With any luck, we’d be able to slip in without anyone knowing we were gone.

“Oh, one thing.” He grabbed me by the neck and slammed me against a tree. “Under no circumstances do you tell anyone we visited the sacred grove. Or that I know that shortcut! We broke several hundred years’ worth of tradition tonight and I’d rather not be shunned by my entire species. If anyone asks, you went out for a run to clear your head and I followed to make sure you didn’t get lost. Got it?”

I nodded to the best of my ability and he dropped me. Damn that cat was strong. I swear he almost broke my neck.

“You’re strong for an old man.”

“And another thing! Why do you keep calling me old? I’m only seventy-six!”

“I hate to break it too you, but that’s old.”

“Not for us. Our species can live up to two-hundred.”

Two hundred! If you take into account average American life expectancy, that’s around one-hundred and twenty-five extra years onto my life!

“Damn. I’m sorry. Still, it’s not my fault. You have silver fur. It makes you look ancient.”

Suddenly his hand shot out, stopping me in my tracks.

“What do you mean I have silver fur?”

“Well, you do. Just look at it.” He stared at me for a few moments. I could tell he was shocked by…something. Was he in denial about his coat color or something?

“What color are my eyes?”

“Huh?”

“What color are my eyes? It’s a simple question.”

“They’re blue. Why?” Those blue eyes shot up in surprise. There was something here I was missing.

“You can see color.”

“Yeah. Can’t you?”

“No. Our species is colorblind.”

So they’re colorblind and I’m not. I guess I owe the witch for something.

“Is there anything else I should know about our species?”

“Do you want to hear about our religion?”

“Not really.”

“Then no.”

We reached the village at the exact moment the sun rose. Luckily, the Vren were gatherers, not farmers. Most of them wouldn’t wake up for another few hours. We slipped into the village unchallenged. It was then that I took my first real look at Valen.

From the chief’s hill it looked like something from a painting. Up close…maybe by a different artist. The houses were simple wooden affairs. Could be one room, could be several. It was impossible to tell from the outside. And the colorblind thing, you could definitely tell from the decorations. It was mostly those beaded blankets you see in Spanish class strung along the roofs or around the doors. Only instead of colors they used space. The beads were arranged in patters that were either geometric or freeform. All were beautiful.

Or at least they would be to anyone colorblind. To everyone else they’d be a rainbow hued mess of dots. Still pretty though.
We followed the path up the hill with no problems. The chief’s hut was much bigger, probably doubling as a sort of town hall, and had a smaller building off to the side that, judging from my time there, was set aside for potion making. Ren walked over to a small mat placed by the door and sat down. He tossed me a small nod which I returned while slipping inside. I crawled into the cot I had been sleeping on before my…episode. There were still several hours before the day to day would begin and all that running had left me exhausted.

A cat nap wouldn’t hurt anything.

*nudge nudge-nudge*

Dammit. We’re back to this?

“Uhhh…five more minutes.”

“Get up or you don’t get breakfast.”

“Don’t want breakfast. Want sleep.”

“Fine. Maybe that snake would like it instead.”

“What!”

I sat bolted upright in bed. Bad idea since I hadn’t really had anything to drink in hours. When the dizziness stopped, I checked everywhere. Nope. No snakes. Good. Snakes are bad. Stupid snakes.

I looked over to see…Nadene? No, to old. Her mother maybe? Looked maybe in her early forties, but Ren was seventy-six! If you took away his silver fur, he’d probably look that age to.

“Hello.”

“Greetings.”

There was a short awkward silence as I tried to think of something to say. I really didn’t want to insult someone who probably had a hand in fixing me up, but she scared the shit out of me!

“There aren’t really any snakes here right?”

“Well this is a jungle, but we keep them out of the village.”

“Right…I’m Khajiit.”

“Sitka.”

Another awkward silence. It was mostly me. I’ve never been much of a mourning person.

“Soooo….breakfast?”

“After you get dressed.” Sitka nodded to a small bundle of clothes at the foot of the bed.

“Alright, alright.” As was customary for mornings when I didn’t wake up in mortal peril, I put my arms over my head and twisted my spine until it cracked with a number of deliciously satisfying pops. “Ahhhhhhhh…” Nothing like a good ‘ol back-crack to get you going in the morning. Sitka, however, didn’t share the sentiment. “Problem?”

“Never do that in front of me again,” she said with a shudder. It took every ounce of my self-control not to do my knuckles right then and there. Wait…one hand. Can’t crack my knuckles. FUCK!

“I can live with that.” She nodded in returned and left. I decided to get changed. Might as well get some breakfast. The only food I’d eaten in who knows how long are those damn Mangos that got me stuck with the name Jack. I really shouldn’t make my puns so punny.

The clothes were just a tunic and pants like before, only now they were made out of a soft cloth instead of the rough hide. It felt good to lose the others. Not only did I get an arm cut off in them, but they’d been taken from a dead-
STOP! Remember where that thinking got you! Don’t dwell on it!

Right. If I was ever going to get anywhere in Equestria, I had to get past…that stuff. Talking with Ren had helped, but one does not simply walk out of Mordor. It would take a lot of effort on my part before I was ever truly okay with what I’d done. I probably never would be.

Still, I had at least started the long road to recovery. And…I think I’d be alright if I had to kill again. As long as there were no other options. And if I ever got my paw on the black cloaked…

Let’s just say the things I had planned would make the Spanish Inquisition piss themselves. Unexpectedly.

But for now, breakfast.

I stepped outside to get my first daytime look at Valen. It was pretty much the same really, just in color. Also, there were a lot of orange cat people wandering around down there.

“So you are awake. Good.”

Ren was right where I left him. Actually…I think he was there last night. How the hell did I miss him?

“It was either get up or let my breakfast be eaten by a snake.”

“Then you have made a wise decision. Rakk is an excellent cook. You’ll find him inside.” He went back to eating some kind of porridge in a plain wooden bowl. It smelled delicious. Whoever this Rakk guy is, by scent alone he could easily make Quaker his bitch.

“Right. And Ren…” The not-so-old cat looked up at me. “Thanks.” He smiled. It was warm. Almost…fatherly.

“Anytime.”

And with that, I left him to his meal and went to get one of my own.

Well the chief’s hut certainly lives up to the expectations. The outside was decorated in more of those blankets that would go for millions back home. Maybe I should see if I can get a couple.

The inside held more plants. Seriously, these cats must have a plant fetish. Actually that might have some merit. I swear I saw a bag of catnip. It also had three rooms. One big main entryway and two smaller, walled off areas in the back. I’m just going to assume that those are for Nadene and her parents and that they are Nadene’s parents.

Speaking of parents, Sitka and a cat man were seated on more of those woven mats Ren had beside a large cauldron. They looked over the second I walked in. That’s when I saw the cloth tied around the man’s eyes.

He’s blind. And he cooks?

“Hello there,” he said. It took a second for my brain to beat some sense into my mouth so it would respond.

“Hi.” I stood in the doorway, a little unsure. Sitka had offered breakfast, but I didn’t know whether or not it’d be rude to just walk into their home without permission. Luckily, Sitka took care of that little problem for me.

“Why are you just standing there? Come eat.”

That was all the encouragement I needed. Starving is not on my to-do list. As I walked over, the cat man (who I’m guessing is Rakk) stood up. He was orange like the other Vren I’d met, except he had black stripes to make him look like a tiger. He gave me a friendly smile.

“I am Rakk, Chief of the Vren tribe.” He held out a paw for me to shake.

His right paw.

“Uhhh…”

“Wrong paw?”

“Yeah…”

He quickly switched and we entered into a silent agreement to never speak of the incident again.

“I’m Khajiit.”

“Really? Ren said your name was Jack.”

“I know he did. Could you just ignore him?”

“But I like Jack better.” I made a mental note to hit Ren at the earliest opportunity.

“It is a more pleasant sounding name,” Sitka chipped in.

“Fine, whatever.” I sat myself down on a mat a little to the left of the cauldron. Sitka began filling me a bowl. “Thanks for the help by the way.” I held up my right arm.

“Don’t mention it. We couldn’t call ourselves healers if we turned away one in need could we.”

“Still…”

“Look,” Rakk ‘looked’ at me with a practiced stare. It was the look that only the best of doctors could possibly pull off. Full of compassion, yet stern at the same time. “Don’t worry yourself about it. You don’t owe us anything. We healed you for the sake of healing, not any sort of gain. Besides, Ren is…an old friend. It would be foolish of us to turn away one he speaks so highly of.”

That’s…interesting. There was something off about how he said ‘an old friend.’ Both him and Sitka seemed…ashamed. I think I’d have to have a talk with Ren later. But for now, Sitka handed me a bowl of porridge which I was happy to take. It smelled even better fresh!

Which presented a problem as soon as she held out a spoon.

Nearly everything’s going to be harder now I guess. Especially since I am…was right handed.

I set the bowl on the ground and grabbed the spoon. Then began the awkward process of transferring a spoonful of porridge from ground level to my mouth. Never before have I wished I wasn’t tall.

“I warn you though, once you taste my husband’s cooking, you’ll never want to leave.”

“Sitka…”

“Well it’s the truth!”

I gave a noncommittal grunt. It was just porridge after all. How good could it possibly-BY THE HOLY VOCAL CORDS OF TARA STRONG!

Julia Child aint got shit on this guy.

“Told you.”

Fuck the spoon! It was too much work to lift it that high anyway. I just grabbed the bowl and drained it.

“Did he just…”

“Yes, he did. I keep telling you your cooking is beyond excellent, yet you refuse to believe me.”

I’ll just skip the rest of breakfast. It was mostly small talk while I ate six bowls of that god-tier porridge. He doesn’t make Quaker his bitch, he turns him around and ass rapes him in front of his mother.

I did learn a few things while stuffing my face though. These were indeed Nadene’s parents. She gets up early to do chores so I missed her by about an hour. I was kind of okay with that. When you have a complete mental breakdown in front of someone, the next meeting is always awkward. Also, the Vren shun all forms of violence. Ren’s well-deserved bitch slap was going to have to wait.

Turns out it had been all three of them I owe my life to along with Ren. Rakk mixed healing potions and salves with great skill despite his blindness. Sitka was an excellent medic, being the one who closed the wound and applied the bandages. Nadene was something of a nurse, helping wherever she could. I thanked both of them profusely (despite their protests) and decided to find Nadene later for the same reason.

And…about my arm. The Lacuni elder poisons his arrows. I would have been dead if Ren hadn’t cut it off. Even then, I spent almost the entirety of my coma fighting the residual poison. They also wrapped up the stump with salve soaked bandages to stop the bleeding and help with healing. I’d have to wear them for another three weeks just to make sure.

Living with this is going to be hard. Hell, I’m going to have to relearn practically everything all over again. Can you imagine how hard it’s going to be just to write my name? Wait…do ponies write English? I know the numbers are the same, but all you ever see in the show is squiggles. I might have had to relearn that one anyway.

Anyway, we talked for a while until the fateful question popped up.

“What are you going to do now?”

On earth, I never had any idea what I wanted to do with my life. At all. I figured it would just click one day and that would be it. Incredibly stupid reasoning by the way.

Now I was a one-armed cat person a week south from what might be the greatest place on earth…or whatever the hell this place is called. I could always head north, but…

Going on a week long journey through the jungle where I’d lost an arm? That called up a whole mess of red flags in the self-preservation department. This village though. It was safe, it had my own kind, and incredibly friendly if the leaders were any indication. It would be a whole lot simpler just to start over here. I’m sure they’d let me.

I give you one year to impress me. Fail and you shall suffer more than you can possibly imagine.

Then there was that. I’d played enough video games to imagine quite a bit. I don’t think I have anything on a witch though. I doubt living a nice safe life with the Vren would impress her at all.

“I…need to think about it.”

“Take all the time you need,” said Sitka as she took my empty bowl. I almost wish they were mean. Would’ve made my decision a lot easier.

“There is one more thing you should know,” Rakk said. “Our carpenter, Varek, has been working on something for you. You should see him before the day is over.” He gave me a few instructions for finding his hut.

“I’ll check it out later. Thank you again…”

“Please don’t start with the thanks again. We’ll be here all day. Go on now.” With that, I left the two in their hut. I didn’t want to take up their whole day. Besides, I had some pretty important stuff to consider.

“So what are you going to do?”

Yeah, like that.

“No idea.”

“You’re not bound to me. If you decide to stay, I would be perfectly fine.”

“You’re not staying?”

“No,” he cast his eyes downward, “there would be some…difficulties if I tried.” Just as quickly as it appeared, the melancholy vanished. “Well I won’t keep you. You obviously have some thinking to do. And I have some business of my own to take care of.” With that note, he wished me good luck and walked off in the direction of the jungle.

Might as well get this over with. I decided to head for the pond. Flowing water has always been a source of relaxation for me. Spending some time at its banks might help clear my head.

Valen really came alive during the day. During the walk down from Rakk and Sitka’s (I don’t think they had a last name) I could see dozens of orange cat people going about their business. On a side note, the stripes seemed to be a recessive gene. Only one in four Vren actually had them.

They were nice people I suppose. At least, they seemed that way from the little I’d seen. They said hello and waved to me when I walked passed, as if I wasn’t a total stranger who showed up in the middle of the night. Kids didn’t even show up to gawk at the ‘one-armed freak’ (something I was actually very worried about). I managed to have a nice, uneventful walk down to the pond.

And I was right. The second I heard the water lapping against the banks I felt better. I know cats are supposed to hate water, but I’ve always loved it. Wait…can I still swim with a new body or am I going to have to relearn that too? There was only one way to find out, but I didn’t think I should get my bandages wet.

Without delay, or care for the goings on around me (they seemed mostly plant-based) I sat down by the pond, closed my eyes, and engaged in that most dangerous of pastimes: thinking.

And…I guess it’s time to be honest. On the cliff with Ren…I kind of lied. Well not lie per say, I just…left some things out.
The killing did bother me, hell it still bothers me. It just wasn’t everything bothering me.

I could do anything to you right now. Did you know that? Anything at all.

In that moment she controlled every single aspect of my life. From the next breath I drew in to where my eyes moved. EVERYTHING. And she knew it. She’d grabbed me by the balls (figuratively and literally), launched me into a new place with a new body, and then criticized me for not doing well enough.

Do you know what it’s like to be forced into something then to essentially be told that you’re worthless at it?

It’s been running through my mind ever since the grove. She picked me for no apparent reason and catapulted me out of a descent life. Defending myself against the Lacuni had been no small feat, yet she dismissed it as if it was nothing. She examined me like a piece of meat, picking out my flaws like you would a racehorse or stud-dog. She all but raped me and then has the NERVE to say I’m not good enough!

I wanted to prove her wrong. That was the thing. The only reason I hadn’t immediately agreed to stay with the Vren. I don’t know why she brought me here, but it wasn’t to learn how to mix herbs. She’d said the Lacuni were a good start.
She wanted me to fight.

“Hello.”

“Ahhh!”

I turned around to see none other than Nadene. She looked a little embarrassed. You would to if you watched someone have a complete psychological collapse.

“Hi.” I hauled myself back to my feet. Think time was over. Judging by the position of the sun, it had only lasted…two hours. Yeah...If I let my mind wander, it tends to take a while getting back. “I just want to say thanks for…you know.” I held up my right arm and was rewarded with a smile.

“Don’t mention it.”

“Yeah, your parents said the same thing.”

“No, I mean it. It is customary of my people to never accept payment for healing.”

“Thanks count as payment?”

“To some.” She shrugged. I guess in a way thanks were payment. It did feel good to know a good deed was appreciated. Wasn’t really worth all that much on Earth, but I guess since their tribe doesn’t seem to have a form of money…

And yet another awkward silence entered into my life, yearning to be filled. And so I answered.

“So…how’s life with the Vren.”

He waited on the rock.

It was a very important rock. At least it was to him. Maybe it still was to her to. Maybe.

Still, they would be here. There were no other landmarks around to speak of. Unless she’d found some more, in which case he’d just have to ask. That was an uncomfortable prospect. He put it at fifty-fifty odds of her actually giving them to him willingly. He preferred to stack the deck.

He could just take them of course, but…it wouldn’t be right. Stealing from her.

And so he sat on the rock and prayed to whatever gods were still listening that his hunch was right.

And for once, they answered.

She came crashing through the trees like a novice. Living the peaceful life would do that he supposed. It felt good to know she’d lost her edge. She deserved to lose something. He’d already lost everything.

She stopped when she saw him. Her face didn’t show surprise, merely understanding. She knew he’d be here.

“Ren.”

“Sitka.”

For a time they were silent. So many unsaid words floated around their heads. Still, he was here for a purpose and she knew it.

“No.”

“One is mine by right and the other you have no use for.”

“I swore they would never be used again.”

“No, you swore you would never use them again. I was there and I’m sure my head was far clearer.”

Silence. He had the upper hand now. He would not waste it.

“If not for me then for the boy’s sake. He’ll need them.”

“He cannot use both and he may not have to. No decision has been made yet.”

“Do you honestly think he will stay?” He slid down from the rock and approached her. She had already decided. They were practically in his hands. “Did you not see the fire in his eyes? The yearning for something more? The same fire that still burns in mine?” He stared straight at her. Neither blinked. “And used to burn in yours.” She looked away. He pressed on.

“There is something else there to. Anger. Someone or something wronged him and he wished to make it right. I can help him get that chance.”

“Revenge solves nothing.”

“Then I’ll at least keep him from killing himself. He’s come to close to that already.” A short intake of breath. She didn’t know? She really was slipping. “What? You didn’t think he’d actually gone out for a run, did you?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It does matter! He’s balancing on the edge of a knife and if he asks what I think he’ll ask, then he’ll require an edge. He’s already lost an arm. Should he lose his life to because of your inability to let the past be the past?”

“But…”

“No! I will teach him when he asks! You have your life now! DO NOT INTERFERE WITH MINE!”

More silence. This time stifling. He’d won, they both knew it. Yet still the tension mounted. The weight of years had been behind this conversation. It was an ending of sorts. The final resolution to something that had been coming for a long time.

“They are in the hollow. One pair of the lesser is gone.”

“I expected as much. It seems the daughter is more like her mother than either realized.

Nothing else needed to be said.

“Take them. It’s all you ever cared about anyway.”

She left then. He didn’t stop her. What could he do?

“Were that only true,” he whispered. Too low for her to hear. It would do no good for either of them if she did. That faze was over now. He would not fail in this new one.

The old warrior turned and went to retrieve his past, determined to help another achieve a future.

What did we learn today?

Nadene has parental issues.

It started out fine really. She told me about the Vren, the area surrounding the village, a few basic potion recipes (I paid extra attention when she brought up the healing potion), and some of the local goings on.

Then I asked if she’d ever been to one of the other villages.

I was rewarded with a fifteen minute long rant about this very fact. As she tells it, her parents rarely ever let her out of town and it’s usually with simple errands to get herbs. They just want her to stay safe and sound and be an apothecary like they are.

Naturally, she doesn’t like this. She wants adventure! She wants to see new places and meet new people.

So basically, the same problems a lot of young people have: wanting to grow up fast while your parents just want their little kid to stay safe. The only real difference is that she actually is grown up. She’s at least as old as me and I’m legally an adult.
For the sake of page space. I’ll skip to the end. Most of our conversation isn’t important in the grand scheme of things. It’s only really interesting to me. You need to know the facts before making a decision after all.

“I just don’t understand their refusal.” It was pretty obvious when you think about it. But we rarely notice all the things our parents do for us until there gone.

Trust me. I know.

“It’s because they care about you. They don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I would be fine.” Ah the invincibility of the young. I miss it. A lot.

“Are you so sure about that?” I held up my right hand for emphasis. “I was only out there for a day and it seemed pretty dangerous.”

“I know not to go near the Lacuni. Besides…” She did a quick scan to make sure no one was listening. It wasn’t necessary. Our talk included a tour of the village and it ended at the edge. Everyone was at least out of earshot. “I know how to defend myself.” She whispered this like it was some kind of naughty secret. From everything I heard about the Vren, it was.
“I thought your tribe swore off violence.”

“They do. So do I for the most part. I just know how to fight should the need arise.” So a healer in a village of peaceful apothecaries knows more about fighting than I do. I am so screwed. “I have a pair of daggers I practice with. And I can mix poisons,” she said with a smile.

“And if your parents ever found out?”

“They’d yell at me, take them away, and cloister me even further, never letting me leave the village perimeter.”
“Damn.” My parents would have just grounded me for a week. And probably called a psychiatrist to find out why I was practicing with knives and learning poisons.

I took a glance at the sun. I’d guess it was about three. I’d slept in pretty late so most of the day was over before it even started.

“I just remembered. Your parents told me to see someone named Varek. Do you know him?”

“Of course. I know the whole village.” Right. There’s only maybe one to two hundred people here. They’d have to be a close knit bunch. “Come on. I’ll show you where he is.”

Along the way to his hut (which was conveniently located just off the center ring) she told me all about Varek. Apparently he was the town’s one and only carpenter. Not that they needed another with him around. He was supposed to be a master at his craft. Made everything from boards to build with to toys for the young ones.

I had a pretty good idea what I’d get here.

“Varek? Are you home?” She walked right in without knocking. Like I said, a close knit bunch. I meanwhile, stopped to admire the artwork. Unlike the other huts, his was decorated with carvings around the door. It really was quite beautiful. So beautiful that I stared at it until a striped cat man stuck his head out of it.

“You must be Jack.” He sounded a bit nervous. Maybe he’s the Fluttershy of the village.

“Khajiit.”

“Whatever. Come on in. I just finished.” I didn’t need to be told twice.

Yeah…this guy was really good at what he does.

Carvings were EVERYWHERE! It was like an expo. There was so much cut wood that the place stank of tree sap and sawdust. Actually, there was some sawdust over in a corner along with a bucket of tree sap.

Nadene was busy looking over what I assumed were his latest works. I followed him over to a workbench. On it sat shavings, tools, and (surprise surprise!) a wooden paw. Unpainted of course, everything was. What would paint do for a colorblind species?

“What do you think?” he asked. Once again I caught a nervous undertone. Was it me? Did word get around about how I killed those Lacuni?

I took a few steps closer and picked it up. It was amazingly detailed. It even had little markings to resemble fur. All I really need to do was find some paint and no one would be able to tell I was missing an arm! From a distance at least.

“It’s beautiful,” I told him. And I meant it.

“He does good work!” Nadene called out excitedly.

“So how do I…”

“Here, let me.” He took it from my hands and briefly showed me how to put it on. It had a couple of straps I put around the stump. You just pulled them tight and the rubber laced base created a vacuum, holding it in place. Surprisingly simple and effective.

Then he surprised me.

“Tell Ren we’re even now,” he whispered into my ear.

“What?”

“There you go, all set,” he said loudly. “No thanks are necessary, but if you’ll excuse me, I have a lot of work to do. Off you go.” He ushered the both of us out quickly. Nadene seemed to take it at face value. If he said he was busy, he was busy. Right?

I added it to my list of things to talk to Ren about.

“So what should we do now?” I asked my friend. At least I think we’re friends. Or she does. I can’t really tell. God I need to get out more. Ponies really consumed my life that last year.

“There isn’t much to do around the village,” she said with a shrug. “If you like, we can go back to my home and I can show you how to make that healing potion you were so interested in.”

“Why not?” In truth, I was very excited about the idea. Potions that keep you from dying are usually good to have around.

So we walked back to her place while I played around with my new ‘paw.’ That guy deserves every bit of praise he was getting. And I expect it was a lot. It was lightweight, I’m sure was durable, and it barely felt like I was wearing anything! That might be because the bandages are soaked in a numbing agent, but still.

But why did he seem so worried when he gave it to me? He acted like he was doing something wrong. Like…

“Have you made any potions before?” Nadene asked, cutting off my thoughts.

“No, but I do cook a little…

I sat alone in the dark of the apothecary and stared at the little red vile in my hand. It took eight tries, but I finally got it right. It’s a lot harder than you’d think. You have to pick the right plants, cut and mix them just right, and boil them at the right temperature. It was all worth it though. I now had five emergency health vials, three mana potions (not really, but close) and two servings of Jungle Remedy. The kind that cures diseases I mean. She’d also showed me some basic plants and where to find them. Yep. I was now an apprentice alchemist/herbalist.

Whether she liked it or not Nadene was a master. Yet when I told her as much, she got mopey and said it was because her parents made her. Being forced to do something sucks. It’s the whole reason I hate sports and spent most of my teenage life indoors.

Still, it left me thinking of my own parents. Did they even notice I was gone by now? Of course they would if I was missing, but what if this was a John Carter deal? This body was created for me and my real one is passed out in a hospital waiting for my consciousness to return. How long would I have before they took me off life support? Would I still be alive here if they did or would I die along with it? Why did that witch have to leave it so vague? For all I know she beat me to death with that umbrella!

I cut that train of thought the second it appeared. Going too far into the existentials of dimensional travel was…unhealthy. It’d be like someone asking Twilight how hooves picked stuff up. Poor girl would go insane.

Instead, I looked at my prosthetic. There was something about it, something that Ren made him do. I just needed to find it. Mostly by running my other paw over every inch of its surface. What else was I supposed to do? It’s not like I have…

*click*

Oh…that was interesting. The hand could disconnect from the base, but why?

Slowly, with just a hint of fear at what I’d find, I pulled the wooden limb separate from the base. It came off with a shing and my jaw dropped.

In place of an arm I now had a half-foot ivory dagger. Even in the darkness it gleamed. The flat of the blade had two curved blood channels running to the tip etched in filigree. The point was so sharp it could probably split a hair just by weight. I tried it and it could.

“Clever bastard.”

Looking at this blade, it all just sort of clicked. I’d just got here! There was literally a whole world out there and I didn’t want to miss it by staying here and learning about plants.

I’d been given an opportunity that, while not unique judging by the others the witch mentioned, was incredibly rare. There were no new frontiers left on earth. Everything had already been mapped out. If you wanted to know about a place, you could just go on the internet. Here though, if you wanted to know about some place, you either had to go there yourself or find someone who had.

Just because the witch was breathing down my neck doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy my time here. I could go wherever I wanted, how many humans could say that? Plus, I’d already stared death in the face (once by force, once by choice), it doesn’t get much worse than that. What could possibly-

DON’T YOU DARE! REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED LAST TIME YOU FUCKING IDIOT!

Right…don’t want to roll those dice again. Points still valid though.

I’d been given an opportunity. Let’s see what comes of it. And if I managed to show up Somnambula on the way, well we’ll just call that a bonus.

That’s right. IT’S ADVENTURE TIME! Unrelated note: What the hell’s with all the weird show on Cartoon Network? I mean, the DC stuff’s okay, but none of it really compares to Ed, Edd, and Eddy. Though that purgatory thing kind of ruined it for me…

“Jack. Are you awake?” Ren was back from doing…Ren things. He walked in. I raised my blade in greeting. “Ah, good you found it.”

“Wasn’t that hard. How’d you get him to make this thing anyway?”

“Well, while you were sleeping, I discovered a little secret of Varek’s. And his neighbor’s wife,” he said with the largest shit-eating grin I’d ever seen.

“You blackmailing bastard.”

“It got the job done.”

“Yeah…” I returned my gaze to the blade. “You’re going to teach me how to use this right?”

A pause.

“Depends on how much time we have.”

“Then how far is it to where we’re going?”

Another pause.

“You’re coming with me?”

“Was there any doubt?”

Another pause, coupled with a smile.

“No. None at all.” He stared at me thoughtfully for a moment. “Can I ask why?”

“Well…” There were a lot of answers. But none that I particularly wanted to give. “You said we live up to two hundred?”

“The average is one-fifty, but yes.”

“Then I have over a hundred years to find a home. Might as well see what options there are before I decide.”

It was bullshit. He knew it. I knew it. I have to give him credit though. He swallowed it with a smile.

“Sleep well Jack.” He left me then. Alone with my thoughts.

I give you one year to impress me. Fail and you shall suffer more than you can possibly imagine.

That was it really. The blade put it all together, but that’s where my decision was made. I was scared. Scared of what she could do to me. Scared of what she’d already done to me. And ashamed she could do it so easily. And mad at myself for letting it happen.

She'd broken me. Shattered really. The cliff would haunt me. Probably for the rest of my life. But what was broken could be rebuilt right? From the ground up if need be. I'd come back stronger than ever. Like an annoying RPG endboss. No one was ever going to think I’m worthless ever again.

She wanted impressed? I’d give her fucking impressed.

Let the game begin.