“Walter? Walter!” There was a loud knock at my door. Way to loud for five thirty in the morning. It was a miracle she never woke anyone else up.

“Hmm…who is it?” I mumbled, even though I already knew the owner of the voice, why it was there, and what was about to happen. That didn’t mean I couldn’t slide further under the sheets and pretend she’d just go away.

“You know, I’m tired of doing this every damn morning!” She knocked again, much louder. One of these days that door was going to break.

“You won’t have to for much longer.” I groaned and sat up, feeling my back pop. I needed a better mattress. The one I had was only one level above sleeping on the floor. Or at least that’s where it was in my own head. I hadn’t had a lot to compare it to other than that time I slept on the floor as an experiment.

The mattress was better, but it still sucked.

She knocked again.

“I’m up, I’m up!” I turned to the side and let my feet hit the floor. “You’re gonna wake up the whole planet!”

“And they’d get up faster than you,” she quipped. I reveled in the sound of her retreating footsteps for a moment. The few minutes of complete silence I got afterwards was honestly the best part of my morning.

Of course if I took more than ten minutes she’d be back. I’d run tests involving a stop watch.

Getting dressed didn’t take too long. I’d gotten in the habit of changing my underwear before I went to bed and throwing fresh clothes on my desk chair. Today was a green T-shirt with the M*A*S*H logo on the front, blue pants, and white socks. Never seen the show, but the shirt was my favorite. I don’t know why, but I went to bed last night thinking I should wear it. Weird.

I made it out into the hall with over six minutes to spare. Unlike certain other people in this house, I actually tried to be polite. I made sure my door closed without slamming and tiptoed my way to the bathroom. I glanced over at Richard’s door as I passed it. Little bastard got another hour of sleep until next year. Course by that time I’d be out of here so I guess it didn’t matter.

Shave, floss, brush, mouthwash. Was my mourning routine for so long I could do it in my sleep. Actually, I should have looked into that. Might have netted me some extra quiet time before Ilene took that jackhammer she calls a fist to my door.

Only thing left to do was my hair. By which I mean making sure none of it sticks up. I also judged when it was time to cut it by whether or not it was in my eyes so I guess you could say I was a minimalist when it comes to grooming.

“Well, here we go again,” I said to my reflection. Brown hair, green eyes, nothing you’d look twice at, and honestly that’s how I liked it. It’s how I was getting through high school. Don’t get looked twice at. “Just two more weeks and it’s all over.”

“Actually, I think it’s only begun.”

Unfortunately I was getting looked at. By someone with a love of clichéd lines.

“…Hello?” I turned around. Nothing behind me but the bathtub. “Huh…weird.” I glanced back at the mirror only to see a different set of eyes looking back at me. “What the-AHHHHHHHHH!”

All of my senses exploded. It felt like my head was going to split open. Things went black as the white tiling shifted to dirty brickwork…there the sensation of being hit in the chest…lots of yelling…smell of garbage…screech of tires…blood…

Something flicked against my forehead.

“Get up.” I opened my eyes to find them surrounded by black. I was back in that weird dream world of Som’s, but wasn’t on a sacrificial alter for once. Small victories I suppose.

“What is it now?” I sat up to see…a stunning straw colored bast woman standing at the foot of my bed. Her brown eyes looked at me with a mixture of amusement and ‘housecat watching a bird’. “Who the hell are you?”

“Don’t play stupid. It doesn’t…well actually it suites you just find.” She smiled and I got the sudden sense I was about to be eaten. “We are in a non-physical plane inside your own mind and I am a goddess. You think I can’t change my form as easily as I change by weapon?”

“Point taken.” I got off the bed. A part of me was a bit grateful that she let me ‘wake up’ on my own mattress for once. The rest of me wished I woke up for real. “So why the new look? Just feeling like a change.”

“That and I felt you would…appreciate this form better.” She turned on her nonexistent heel and started walking away. I got a pretty good view of…well, everything to be honest. She was wearing an extremely short loincloth and what looked like two bandanas tied to each other. “After all, you seem to be taking to yours quite nicely…now come along.”

I sighed and raced to catch up. Much as I would love to just stay here and get more sleep, she seemed to emit the only light in this place and if it was my mind then I’d rather not find out what all this darkness represents. That and…I hate to admit this, but DAMN! Those hips could launch more ships than Helen!

“So what is it this time?” I asked while walking beside (or slightly behind) her. “I still have nine months if my math is right so you don’t own my soul yet.”

“I already own your soul. It was mine the second you agreed to come here.” I should have probably found out the exact terms of my arrangement with her. “You’re here because I want to discuss this little fighting competition you’ve gotten yourself into.”

“Didn’t you already visit me about that? To appreciate the irony?” And freeze my nuts off on her stupid arctic chair. The bitch.

“Yes, but that was before I knew you were going to take it this seriously.” She grinned again and I couldn’t stave off a small twinge of fear. Among other things. “And now that I do know, I have an offer to make you…”

She held out her hand. Suddenly, and don’t ask me how, the world around us seemed to grow darker, despite the claustrophobic blackness to all sides. A small ball, dark as a moonless sky yet still glowing with a pale light, began to form in her palm. Its surface was perfect, yet it also appeared to spin slightly. It was pretty…beautiful…mesmerizing…

“What is it?” My hand twitched.

“It’s power kitten.” She held it up so it was level with my face. “Pure, unfiltered, and unrestrained power.”

“Power huh?” That whole ‘power is sexy’ thing was really getting put into perspective by this orb. It really drew the eye. “What could I do with this power?”

“It’s not fun if I tell you.” She moved it away from me and I had to stop myself from lunging forward to grab it. “You’ll have to figure it out for yourself. IF you take the deal of course.”

“What do you get out of all this? Nothing’s free.”

“Very astute.” She twirled the ball in her hands, as if it were a physical thing. I’m not entirely sure what it was. “My price isn’t much. All I ask is that you do me a favor.”

“A favor.” I don’t know what it was, but that little word threw up a whole boatload of red flags. “What kind of favor?”

“Not a clue.” She smiled again. I don’t know how her teeth were that white. Or anyone’s stayed clean for that matter. I hadn’t seen a toothbrush since I got to this place. “But at some point in the future you will perform a task for me. You will do it without question or complaint and I am free to call upon you for this task at any time. Now…” She held the orb back up to my face. “Do we have a deal?”

Well this was a simple choice. Regardless of what I may or may not owe her, Somnambula was obviously some kind of evil. Or at least not good. It was likely this favor would be something I shouldn’t do or that the power she was offering would backfire on me. It would be stupid to take the deal.

…On the other hand…that orb was nice and shiny…

And filled with dark magic that would probably rend my soul in two.

Or make me more powerful than I ever dreamed…

Or turn me into a thrall enslaved to her will.

Or give me the strength to actually win this thing…

Okay, so it wasn’t as simple as I thought. Maybe because that…thing had some kind of mesmerizing effect…or maybe I was a cat and really liked shiny things now. Who can say?

What it all boiled down to, at the heart of the matter, was a question. Was I willing to accept the rather colossal risks involved just for a bit of power?

“Yes. Wait...no.” I violently shook my head. Bashing my brain against the side of my skull helped clear up the fog. And created an entirely different one, but it was a dream so I guess it didn’t matter. “Thank you for the offer and all, but I think I’m going to go the old fashioned route.”

“Fair enough.” He fingers closed and the orb disappeared in a flash. I felt a small twinge of regret worm its way into my gut. “If you change your mind I’ll know and I’ll be here.”

“Wow…that’s kind of creepy.” It might have just been me, but the darkness that made up the background seemed just a bit more…oppressive. “So are we done here?”

“I guess.” She turned and started walking away.

Well, she went three steps. Then she stuck one hip out, put a hand on it, turned her torso to give me the most ‘come and get me’ look I have ever seen anywhere, and said:

“Unless you want to have a bit of fun first.”

I was stunned in surprise at the sudden turn of events.

Then I did what any young, virile man in my position would do.

I stammered and freaked the fuck out.

“W-w-wha…but…you…just…huh?”

I actually felt a sense of strange relief when she burst out laughing.

Less so when she fell over and kept going for over a minute.

“Oh, the look on your face…” She sat up, keeping an ear engulfing smile on her face. “I’m sorry, but by Celestia’s sun sized plot I needed that.”

“I’m glad I can serve as a source of amusement for you.” Well at least I could boast that I can make gods laugh. That’s something.

“Oh what’s with the look?” I was glaring by the way. But you probably assumed that. “And here I thought we were becoming friends.”

“I don’t befriend bitches,” I growled.

“You should really change that policy.” She stood up, smoothed out her loincloth, and winked. “They say that bitches are the best in bed.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone say that.” Have you? Seriously, has anyone ever said that ever?

“Then go to Gem Fido. They probably say it there.” She put a finger to her chin. “Wait…bad idea. Not a good place for cats.”

“Figured as much.” Truth be told, I’d never met any other dogs besides Mica and we seemed to get along okay. Maybe the whole dogs and cats thing didn’t extend to Equestria. Or maybe I was a human in a cat’s body and he was Mica. Impossible to tell really. “Will there be anything else?”

“One thing.” She walked up to me and put a hand on my chest. That grin was still on her face. “Good morning.”

She shoved and I started falling…

“…Ow…stupid bitch…”

The cliff lead to my bedroom. Specifically the floor of my bedroom. I’d been dream pushed out of my bed. I didn’t even know that was a thing!

“Bad dream?” I turned at Bright’s voice. He stood in the doorway, a little grin playing across his face. Must have heard me fall and come to check.

“I guess you could call it that.” I didn’t really want to say ‘insane bitch goddess invading my head’ so bad dream works.

“Well you should try and get some sleep,” he told me. “You’ve got another busy day tomorrow.”

“What are you…ow.” All the aches and pains I’d accumulated from training hit me like a grand piano from the sixth floor. It’s a wonder I didn’t curl up in the fetal position.

“Yeah…it’ll get better.” He smiled at me. Not the amused grin from before, but something a lot warmer. “Trust me I’m speaking from experience.”

“Thanks.” I grabbed the edge of my bed and hauled myself up with a groan. I think I felt something shift that really should have been staying in place. “Can I ask you a question?”

“You can ask me two,” he said with a small laugh. “Shoot.”

“Why are you so supportive of this?” The smile went away and he tilted his head. “Letting us use the basement, letting Mica and Robin train me, forgetting about the instrument thing…”

“That’s not forgotten.” Now it was my turn for a head tilt. “Reprise seems dead set on teaching you the piano of all things.”

“The piano?” I glanced at the piece of wood covering a stump. “Really?”

“Yep.” He shrugged. “Personally I think she just wants an excuse to drag that old thing out of the store room.”

“Huh…anyway, why are you helping me with this?”

“Well…truth be told, it’s actually pretty simple.” He leaned in close and began whispering conspiratorially. “Can you imagine the look on Ward’s face if someone besides that wall of meat he calls a bodyguard actually wins this thing? That is worth a million times more than the supplies needed to clean a little cat blood off my floor.”

“Cat blood huh?” I couldn’t resist a small chuckle. Even if we were talking about my blood being outside my body. Something I never like happening. “Well I’ll try not to bleed too much.”

“Good man. You’re going to need as much of it as possible for these fights anyway.” He turned and started walking away. “Get some sleep Mango. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Yeah…goodnight…” I said with a sigh. I couldn’t get through one conversation with these people without them bringing up the fruit thing. I was starting to think it was never going to go away.

Meh. In a few months I’d probably get tired of being mad and start getting in on the joke. I could think of a lot worse nicknames than Mango anyway.

I climbed into bed, still sore from the thrashing I took earlier. Something told me it was going to be worse in the morning. But also better…if that makes any sense at all.

As my eyes closed and I drifted into a thankfully dreamless sleep, I couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that I’d forgotten something…

Author's Notes:

Been a while since I've updated within a week so as a sort of apology have Khajiit's real name, a small look into his human life, and some more Somnambula cause I know how much you all...well...actually I don't know if you like her or not, but I do and am going to continue writing scenes with her in it.

And I am going to try to keep up this trend. I have set a goal for myself. I return to college in August. Before then, even if I have to pull a chapter a night for a week, I WILL finish the Stalliongrad arc. This I swear!