“Whole other dimension, new body, even a new fucking species and the universe still finds a way to make me take out the god damn trash!” You only get one guess as to what my least favorite chore was back home.

Another few days had come and gone and I was starting to settle into a nice routine here. My job was simple, easy, yet rather rewarding. The people I met were generally friendly and my co-workers kept things…entertaining.

It was a little annoying that they kept making me the source of that entertainment, but I was new so there wasn’t much I could do about that. It also meant that my name was the lowest on the chore list totem pole.

Which is how I ended up taking out the trash five fucking times that week! And it wasn’t like a house where there’s just one or two cans, The Hall was a restaurant. AND a hotel! That meant I had to do all the trash bins in the kitchen, the ones in the dining room, AND all the little baskets they had in the rooms. Whole process took about an hour and it smelled disgusting.

Still, I was on the last bag. Just a quick walk through the alley behind the kitchen to the nearest dumpster and I was home free. Just as long as nothing else happened…

“HEY! MANGO!”

Here we go.

Dreading what I’d find, I turned to the source of the noise which happened to be above me. The Hall’s roof was essentially a giant dome except for this one part above the kitchen. It would be a nice place to hang out if the view amounted to more than dirty buildings and a stinking alley.

“WHAT?” I yelled up at the green and orange blob that I assumed was Reprise.

“YOU ALMOST DONE DOWN THERE?” she called back.

“YEAH. LAST ONE.” I held up the green-black bag for emphasis. It was overflowing with table scraps, used napkins, and the leftovers of an entire day spent cooking and it was RIPE.

“COOL. I GOT SOMETHING TO SHOW YOU. MEET ME ON THE TOP FLOOR WHEN YOU’RE DONE, ALRIGHT?” Without waiting for an answer, she disappeared off the roof.

“Well there goes the rest of my night,” I muttered, resuming my slow march to the nearest trash receptacle. I wonder how they empty these things when they don’t have dump trucks? Probably magic or some other copout.

It was with great relief that I heaved the stinking sack of waste into the sludge filled bin, never to be seen again. This relief only lasted until I had made my way to the backdoor and was interrupted by the other thing that had annoyed me over the past week.

“And just where do you think you’re going?”

For someone who can’t speak without permission, Atheris never knows when to shut up. Seriously, every single conversation I’d had since giving him his voice involved his inane chatter inside my skull. EVERY! SINGLE! ONE!

Upstairs. I have to meet Reprise. She said this in front of you less than five minutes ago.

“Yes, but how are you getting there?”

The stairs. I wondered how long it would take for my annoyance to build up into a stress tumor.

“Fuck that shit!” Rough estimates are around two weeks. “Head back out into the alley. There’s something I want to try.”

I know I should have ignored him, but he would just bitch about it for the rest of the night and I didn’t want to go through that. I could shut him up again, but…

If what he told me was true then his master really screwed him over. I figure I should at least give him SOME freedom. Even if it is only letting him run his mouth.

So I stomped back outside, determined to get through whatever hair brained idea the snake had. The things I do to feel a sense of self-worth…

Alright, what now?

“Give me a second…” He proceeded to make thinking noises in my head. Little clicks of his tongue (not sure if serpents can do that regularly, but I guess when it’s in your head anything goes), small hums, ‘muttering’ under his ‘breath’. That sort of thing.

What the hell are you doing?

“Remember how you have that Latin dictionary in your head for when you need to command me?”

Yeah.

“Well I have one of those too. Except it’s more of an instruction manual for this new body of mine.”

…It’s pretty much a smaller copy of your old one and you need an entire book to figure out how it works?

"Hey! This form holds many secrets and powers that you could not even comprehend! I’m lucky I have a reference guide so I don’t accidentally kill you with my untapped power! Besides, it’s more of a booklet than anything…”

…

“Uhh…might be closer to pamphlet now that I think about it.”

…

“Alright, it’s one page. But it’s double sided!”

GET ON WITH IT! Maybe if I got an aneurism the pain would be enough to block out his voice.

Atheris resumed his review of this ‘instruction manual’ and I was left standing in the middle of the alley. By myself. In the dark. And I’m pretty sure I heard thunder on the horizon. Bright had mentioned that there would be a storm tonight…

You know, if I’d taken the stairs we’d be there by now…

“GOT IT!” His mental scream of triumph was loud enough to make me wince. I’m not really sure how since it was in my head, but I’m not an expert on magic so whatever. “Hold out the hand I’m on and point it toward the roof.”

I rolled my eyes, but complied with the instruction.

“Now just give me a second to figure this out…”

Figure what out? What exactly are you trying to…

Atheris’s head shot off of my arm, his body extending behind it. He went all the way up to the roof, six stories above, and bit down on the edge. His fangs must be sharp as hell considering they went through solid rock like butter. I’m assuming they did anyway, considering the crunch.

“What the FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!” His tail, still attached to my wrist, started pulling high enough to lift me off my feet. The sensation wasn’t unlike that time I got dragged around by that roc. Except for the shoulder pain. That was new.

And it continued right up until I came level with the edge of the roof. Atheris detached himself and I went flying.

Straight into the dome over the rest of the building.

For a moment I stayed there, splayed comically on the wooden sphere. The thump my landing caused must have been heard by everyone inside. Then, like a cartoon character on slick glass, I started to slide down until my feel touched the flat roof and I fell onto my back.

“Ladies and gentlemen, we have arrived at our destination on the Hall’s Roof. Local time is approximately eleven forty-two P.M. Please remain seated until we have docked and be sure to clear all luggage out of the overhead compartment. We thank you for flying with Air Viper and have a nice day.”

“Oh shut up!” I growled, hauling myself to my feet. “What the fuck was that?” My anger just couldn’t be expressed properly with just thought alone. Words…came close, but a good strangling would probably convey the message best.

He’s going to drive me to suicide, isn’t he?

“That was my grapple function. Not the most…logical thing to put in a magical snake, but it definitely gets points for style.”

“You have that? Wonderful!” I stormed towards the door, shaking off the slight post-crash limp in a few steps. “Why don’t you keep these little ‘functions’ of yours to yourself from now on.”

“Don’t lie to me. You know it’s awesome.” Well…it was kind of fun flying through the air. In that terrifying roller coaster way. “And get this; it’s activated purely by thought. Mine or yours. No spoken words involved. Meaning this little trick of mine could save your life.” Having a safety net of sorts did sound like a good thing to have. “And don’t tell me you never once imagined what it would be like to swing around through the air.”

…Dammit. The temptation of pretending I'm Spider Man is strong.

You hated my guts a couple days ago. Why tell me this?

“Remember how I said I transfer to your killer if you die? Well it’d be pretty hard to transfer my essence into a cliff. Trust me, this is all for my own benefit.”

A forked tongue must work as well as a silver one. Besides, I have a hookshot and I’m going to use it! Even if I wanted to turn said hookshot inside out.

…I see your point.

“Yes! Air Viper is ready for takeoff!”

Never make that joke again.

“But-”

Latin.

“I’ll be good.”

Thankful that for the few moments of silence the threat would provide, I grasped the handle of the door and pulled it open.

Or at least I would have had it not been locked.

“Great, just great.” Perhaps I didn’t need to punch the door so hard that it chipped, but I the therapy helped. And hey, I was smart enough not to use my real hand so at least it didn’t hurt.

I leaned against the wall beside the door, trying to figure out a way in. I could just keep knocking and hope someone hears me, but I’d rather not spend twenty minutes pretending to be Fred Flintstone. My best bet was just to get on the ground and use the door like I wanted before Atheris decided to ‘help’ me. That begs the question of how to get down six stories without hurting myself. Landing on my feet wouldn’t help if my legs were broken. Maybe I could use Atheris to rappel down if I stick him to the side of the wall…

“Hello? Is someone up here?” That day I learned it was close to impossible to keep a train of thought when you are being bashed in the face with a door.

“Yes…though I wish I wasn’t.” The door was pulled back and I got a close up look at a terrified green pony.

“I am so sorry!” The mortified mare backed away. “I didn’t…people don’t come up here that often so…”

“Stop. It was my fault anyway.” On top of the bruising my skull was pounding like a pile driver. “Should have realized it swung outward.”

“What the hell? She shoves a door in your face and gets nothing while you bitch at me for helping you upstairs?”

Reliquum noctis clausa.

Just because I wasn’t going to mute him entirely didn’t mean I wasn’t above forcing him to cram it. Besides, holding two conversations at once wasn’t something I’d picked up yet…

“Right…” She looked around, confused about something. “How did you get up here anyway?” Oh…right…

“I climbed the building,” I said, thinking on my feet. It’s funny how much you have to do that when you want to hide something. “Wanted to see if I could with one arm…the answer is yes by the way.”

“Uh-huh.” I could feel my IQ drop just from how stupid she thought I was. At least if that look she gave me was any indication. “And why exactly would you need to be climbing things?”

“Uhh…I’m a cat…cats climb things.” Did playing the species card work when I wasn’t originally a Bast? I shared all the physical traits, but who’s to say it altered what was inside? Specifically my brain. Did it still work like a human’s or was it running off whatever instincts and biological cues attributed to a race of anthropomorphic cat people?

And what the hell would those be? I don’t know the inner workings of the feline mind or their biology. All I had to go off of was the few things Ren told me and I’m not really sure how reliable he is. He’s a fighter not a doctor. How much could he possibly understand about physiology? Furthermore, WHY THE HELL DIDN’T I FIGURE THIS STUFF OUT WHEN I WAS IN THE VILLAGE OF DOCTORS?

“…Anyway, I get that you want to lean your limits now that you’re missing an arm, but maybe try to do it in a way that won’t get you killed if you screw up. Okay?” Reprise gave me a look that…wait…had she been talking to me the entire time?

“Uhh…sure.” Note to self, learn to keep tangents outside the realms of conversation. “So, what was the thing you wanted to show me?”

“Huh…what was it,” she spent a moment in thought, trying to recall whatever it was that I crashed into the roof for. This would have been a great spot for a tangent, but I already did one of those so…“Oh! Right, follow me please.” She turned back for the entrance. I followed at a safe distance to make sure I avoided the door. Once was more than enough.

It turns out there was more than balconies on the top floor. The stairs let out into the hallway that connected to the private areas. It was, in my opinion at least, fancy while still remaining modest. A plush red rug had been placed over the hardwood flooring complimented by a few imitation paintings here and there. How did I know they were imitations? Fault felt no desire to steal them.

The greeter led me through it until we came to the other side of the semi-circle. I was kind of glad we went the whole way around. These cat feet of mine didn’t really do shoes so walking around on hard surfaces all day got…irritating.

“Here we are.” She stopped in front of a door with a small square of brass nailed on it. Engraved in said brass were more of those strange pony symbols I’d neglected to learn. Just one of the things on my to-do list I suppose.

Reprise pulled a small key from her mane and placed it into the lock. With a small click, the door opened as she ushered me inside, closing it behind both of us. The sudden darkness left me wondering if I’d walked into a trap for the few seconds it took for the lights to come on.

“Whoa.” Surrounding me on every wall were instruments of every kind. Woodwinds, brass, strings, percussion, keyboard, you name it. I could go down the list, but…actually, I couldn’t. Music’s never really been my thing. I recognized maybe a third of them in total and I considered that impressive. “It’s like an orchestra exploded in here.”

“Yeah.” Reprise walked further into the spacious room. Or rather, it would have been spacious if most of the floor wasn’t covered with instruments. “A lot of these are left over from the concert hall that used to be here. Bright’s a bit of a pack rat so he built this room to house them. Rather than just let a full ensemble go to waste, he decided to start that ‘tradition’ of his.”

“Don’t see why he’d need so many,” I muttered, carefully tip toeing through the crowded room. How crowded? There was a grand piano in the back. I’m not even sure how they got it in here.

“We don’t use all of them. We actually rent them out to some of the local schools for free. They just get stored here during the winter and summer breaks.” A proud look worked its way onto her face. “I’m actually a music teacher most of the year so I can show you how to play any one of these.”

“Why would you?” I asked while inspecting a surprisingly ornate harp. How could someone play a harp with hooves? I suppose a unicorn or a pegasus could do it, but earth ponies would be out of luck.

“Simple. You’re going to learn how to play one of these,” she said happily.

“Right…this tradition of yours.” Something told me the next few weeks would be painful for my fingers. “Like I said before, not much I can do with one hand.”

“Well, you could sing if that’s more to your liking.”

“…Sing?” Suddenly the instruments became far more interesting. “So are there any you’d recommend?”

“…Took to the idea rather fast.” Her eyes narrowed in a way that caused my stomach to drop. “Actually, let’s hear your voice.”

“Why should I?” I wish I could have sounded less defensive. That’s probably what sealed my fate. “I already said I’d learn one of these instruments. It’s not like I’m ever going to have to sing.”

“It’d still be nice to know what we have to work with.” She smiled at me, trying to be reassuring. “Remember when I said I was a music teacher? No matter how bad it is, I’ve probably heard worse.”

“I highly doubt that.” She just rolled her eyes.

“Can we skip the back and forth? You’re not leaving till you sing.” The look she gave me, I kid you not, was the exact same glare my mother used to give me to make it clear there was no way out of something.

“Fine.” It was with great regret that I swallowed my nervousness, cleared my throat, and sang a nursery rhyme. Specifically the one about blackbirds being baked into a pie yet they’re all happy because they’re being served to a king. I’m sure there was another meaning behind it, but I’d rather not know it. I learned my lesson with ‘Mother Mary.’ There must have been some real red roses in her garden…

I’m not going to write the lyrics for two reasons. One, you probably already know them. And two, to spare your ears in the infinitesimally small chance someone decides to do a reading of this and figures out how to mimic my singing voice. You can thank me later.

“Wow…that was…” I was half sure that Reprise was about to throw up. The other half was sure I was going to see blood trickling from her ears. “…Okay, so singing for you is out.”

“You think? It sounded like he was strangling himself!”

Both of us jumped at the sudden voice. Apparently a certain green pony had forgotten to lock the door and now a certain silver cat was standing in the doorway laughing at me. Again.

“Don’t tell me you’re going to start with the cat jokes!” This may not be Prequel, but if I had to sit through a thousand puns something was getting torched!

“I have a right to make them. More than you at least,” Ren said, an…uncharacteristically happy grin in his face. Much as I liked the guy, I have to say that he’s a bit of a sourpuss…dammit! He got me started! “Either way it doesn’t matter. I need to talk to you.” He eyed Reprise curiously for a moment. Like he was sizing her up. “You can come too. Might be useful.”

“…Useful for what exactly?” she rightfully asked. I really hated the gleam that appeared in his eyes. Almost as much as I hated his answer.

“For high profile robbery of course.”

Author's Notes:

...Guild Wars 2.

That is the only excuse I could come up with.

Also, as of writing these notes I don't have a title for this chapter yet so if it ends up being stupid...yeah...