Author's Notes:

Edited on 11 May 2015

Formerly Complications

“Losing a friend's trust is the fastest way to lose a friend. Losing a friend's trust is the fastest way to lose a friend. Losing a friend's trust is the fastest way to lose a friend. Losing a friend's trust is the fastest way to lose a friend.”

Pinkie Pie repeats this to herself over and over again in a loop, her body rocking herself back and forth, eyes enormous and devoid of all focus. She sees nothing but the shadow in front of her. She does not see the wall, not Spike, not the pictures. There is nothing there for her to see except the darkness bleeding from her.

“Losing a friend's trust is the fastest way to lose a friend.”

A sudden shake gets Pinkie Pie's attention, and leaves her a bit dizzy, and when she focuses her eyes, she looks at Spike, eyes watering and body still rocking slightly.

“Pinkie, are you okay? You've been a broken record for a while, now,” says Spike.

“I betrayed her trust. I lost a friend.” Pinkie Pie says, gulping back tears.

“Are you talking about Twilight’s trust?”

“Trixie.”

“Trixie?” Spike blinks and looks down in thought, and a moment later he looks at her curiously. “By Trixie do you mean that annoying showmare that made those two idiots bring the Ursa Minor in?”

Pinkie Pie nods. “Yeah, the proof-in-the-pudding mare. But I only wanted to protect my family, and I saw Trixie as a tool and I used her to do what I couldn’t-wouldn’t do. But the more I spent time with her, the more I realized that she was lost in this nasty game of life. She was more lost than me and I was the only one who could’ve saved her. But I didn’t save her. I got her killed. Just like I got Octavia killed.”

Pinkie Pie rubs her heart, choking painfully as more tears run down her cheeks. She finds it hard to breathe, like all of her guilt has grabbed her lungs and heart and is squeezing them until they pop in its evil claws.

“I pretended to be somepony else, and she trusted me. She trusted me and because of that she is dead,” whimpers Pinkie Pie.

“How do you know that they are dead?” asks Spike. “Did you see them die?”

“I heard Octavia crying when Dashie was beating her. Then she became quiet and I woke up in this place.” Pinkie Pie closes her eyes and grits her teeth while pressing her hooves against her head, now feeling like her brain is expanding. “I heard her and didn’t do anything. Pinkamena wouldn’t let me. She said she deserved to die. Just like Lock. Only Pinkamena wants more. She wants to hurt my friends, especially Twilight and Rarity. She’s evil and I’m losing control of her.”

Pinkie Pie gets up and approaches her high school diploma, framed and caked in dust. She gently brushes away some of the dust so she can see her reflection, but behind her defeated face is Pinkamena’s. It sends a shiver up her spine, and she looks away when she hears a rumble and notices a small flash of lightning in the distance.

“It cost my family a fortune to pay a unicorn for a procedure that would keep Pinkamena in check,” says Pinkie Pie, now looking back at the diploma. “We thought it would work, but then mom hung herself and she almost broke out.”

Pinkie Pie squeezes her eyes shut and looks down as the image of her mother swinging from the ceiling with her father trying to get her down invades her mind. She can hear everything, from the creaking of the body swaying in its spot, to her father’s wailing.

When she opens her eyes her hooves carry her to a worn table that has stacks of papers crammed in every which way they could be crammed. Yet in the middle of it all is a simple suicide note with a life insurance quote underneath it. Pinkie Pie sits at the table and stares at it, lips trembling and tears flowing freely. She drags a birthday card addressed to her from her mother and flips it open. The inside of the card saying: Stay strong. It’ll be sunshine and rainbows in the end. Love, Mom.

“Then, when I thought you guys abandoned me when I honestly forgot about my birthday she came back and was able to get control of most of me, but I held her back before she could do more than just creep out Dashie,” says Pinkie Pie.

Pinkie Pie closes the card and slides it away, folding her hooves on her desk and placing her head on top of them soon after, ignoring the growing noise of the storm.

“When you died I knew she would be back,” continues Pinkie Pie. “I tried to keep her in check, but I almost lost control when Trixie botched her rescue mission. She came out when I attacked the griffin’s for answers about Bon Bon.”

There is a deafening roll of thunder and a bright flash of green light that shakes and illuminates the cabin, and while Spike may have jumped, Pinkie Pie just lazily lifts her head. The horrible feelings she has in her head, heart and lungs are getting worse and now she feels a little dizzy.

“I lost control when the EIB and griffins attacked, and I couldn’t stop Lock, and because of that, Trixie died. So I killed him in the warehouse.” Pinkie Pie looks at Spike, ears drooped and whole body sulking and trembling. “I have to stay dead, Spike, for everypony’s safety.”

“So, let me get this straight,” says Spike after a pause, “not only are you blaming yourself for my death, but you’re also blaming yourself for your mother's death and the supposed death of Octavia and Trixie? And you're afraid of yourself, so you think that in order to keep everyone safe from yourself -including yourself- you’re better of dead?”

Pinkie Pie nods and Spike takes a deep breath and rubs the back of his neck.

“Okay,” says Spike, “you need a cookie. A big cookie.”

“Chocolate, light on the sprinkles, please,” says Pinkie Pie. “There should be a box of those on the top shelf in the pantry.”

Spike leaves the room and Pinkie Pie stares out the dirty window in her room, watching the endless field of stone and the looming storm in the distance. It doesn’t take a meteorologist to know that the storm will be bad since the clouds are nearly black and there is ground shaking thunder signaled by the flashes of green lightning. She finds the odd colored lightning weird, but she also feels sick by looking at the storm, and not only that, but the uneasy feeling she’s getting in her body is slowly turning to pain. Pinkie Pie flops on her bed and buries her face in her pillow while pressing her hooves against her ears.

“Jeeze, that is one weird storm,” says Spike as he walks in with a plate of cookies and a cup of milk. Then he notices Pinkie Pie’s sickly condition. “You okay there, Pinkie?”

“I don’t feel so good,” moans Pinkie Pie.

“What’s wrong? Something not sitting well?”

“Yeah, but I don’t know what.”

“It was probably the hot chocolate,” says Spike as he sets the treats on the desk. “The expiration date was kinda smudged out on the can, but I still used it anyway.”

Pinkie Pie stares at Spike, jaw agape, and for a brief moment she doesn’t feel sick, only disgusted, and the dragon shrugs with a sheepish smile.

“Spike!” whines Pinkie Pie.

“What?” says Spike.

“Eww-uh!”

“Oh come on, don’t be like that. You know you loved it.”

“It doesn’t- Why did you-? Ewww!”

Spike snickers and closes the curtains, commenting on how they shouldn’t look at the creepy storm. Pinkie Pie manages a small chuckle, but that chuckle doesn’t last long being that uncomfortable feeling returns with reinforcements. It feels as though her bones are shaking loose and her muscles are ripping on top of her aches. She tries to ignore the worsening pain all over her body, however it is a lost cause. The pain is gradually worsening, and the horrible, indiscernible sounds that her ears are picking up are making the situation all the more unpleasant.

“Pinkie?”

She wipes sweat off of her face with a shaky hoof, now feeling intensely nauseous on top of her pain. Spike sits next to her and turns her to him, asking her if she’s okay, but she can’t hear him. In fact, the only reason she knows what Spike said is because she read his lips. Pinkie Pie starts swaying back and forth, muttering unintelligibly and certain she is going to puke, and she knows its not the hot chocolate giving her this feeling. She knows its her Pinkie Senses going off the rocker since bad hot chocolate has never killed anyone, and she feels like she is dying a horrible death. Her Pinkie Senses have always been pretty clear, such as itches for being spied on or creaky limbs for approaching a hidden threat. The rest came from visual and audio observation. However, her whole body aching and the need to puke is something she has never felt before, and it is scaring her.

Pinkie Pie’s eyes start to drift shut, and a shake from Spike makes them open again, however, this time she can’t even concentrate. She hears the awful noises and her heartbeat, but everything is so out of focus she can no longer tell what’s going on. She goes from seeing doubles, to triples, and then to seeing a whole other world mix with her old room. Her eyes then roll to the back of her head and she collapses.

Pinkie Pie’s eyes snap open, fully awake, when her head hits a slab of broken pavement. She can hear the machines she’s hooked up to beep furiously and the doctors and Spike shouting frantically. However, those are soon replaced with roaring fire and rolling thunder. Pinkie Pie pushes herself to her hooves and immediately has to sit down when she sees Canterlot. Burning.

The sky is covered by a thick blanket of fiery smoke that is rising from fire bursting through the towering structures. Pinkie Pie looks around, unable to move, and watches in horror as the Royal Palace, whose once pearl white walls are now covered in crushing vines and thick, swirling trees. One of the towers collapses in a wave of brick, metal, and plaster, blowing out heavy dust and faintly illuminated smoke.

Through the choking cloud, a tattered Equestrian flag floats down in front of Pinkie Pie. She takes a step forward to get a closer look and her hoof accidentally kicks aside a golden plate of armor and when she kneels down to get a closer look she sees that its Celestia’s, covered in soot with a hole burnt through the center of the sun and dried blood on the ridges. Pinkie Pie gingerly picks up the armor plating and strokes it with her hoof, too shocked for words.

“Somepony get Dr. Heartbeat!” shouts a voice in the clouds.

“We’re losing her!” exclaims another.

Tears roll down Pinkie Pie's cheeks and looks to her side and sees the Mare-Do-Well cape hanging on a bent bar, tattered and drenched in blood with the Elements of Harmony around it. Destroyed.

Then she hears what sounds like a set of turbine engines followed by something metallic skidding to a stop not too far from her. She turns to the source and her jaw drops when she sees a stallion in a full metal suit with gems around his limbs, electric coils around his ankles, and two turbine engines with a cannon on a swivel mount perched on his back. His eyes glow green and each step he takes leaves a crack in the ground and a trail of green mist. Pinkie Pie stands up and braces herself for the worst as the menace continues his approach towards her, and then the stallion stops. Aims. And fires.