Author's Notes:

Added on 01 May 2016

Originally part of Looming War

Shining Armor sits on his living room room couch, eyes bloodshot and mane matted down on his face from sweat. His eyes may be locked on the Equestrian flag, but he is staring off into space with tormented scowl, drinking from an almost empty bottle of Wild Pegasus. His angry, glazed eyes see nothing but all his failures plastered on the wall. From Celestia being kidnapped by Nightmare Moon, to Discord, the Changeling Invasion, and Blueblood's assassination to the rise of the crime lords. And now he has Equestria's downfall on his list.

Equestria's youngest Captain of the Royal Guard has really fucked up.

“Shining? You’re home early,” says Cadence.

Shining Armor’s ears perk up and he sees Cadence standing in doorway, looking worried.

“Sorry to disappoint, Cadenza,” sneers Shining Armor, gulping down the last of the Wild Pegasus and tossing it aside to open another.

Cadence’s ears droop and her nose wrinkles. “Are you drunk?”

Shining Armor holds up the new bottle, grinning mean-spiritedly. “Sure am! Celestia and Luna have quit on us and Roar Shock must be allied with the Stars because both are hellbent on wiping out Equestria, so I’m going to drink! And I’m going to keep on drinking!”

“Okay, I think you’ve had enough,” says Cadence.

Shining Armor shakes his head and defiantly takes a large gulp of alcohol before Cadence yanks his bottle away. When that happens he slides off the couch and stomps his hoof.

“Damn it, Cadenza, let me drink!” yells Shining Armor.

“You don't need a drink, you need sleep,” says Cadence.

“Sleep? How can I sleep when Luna damned us all to Hell because she and Celestia couldn't get along? How am I supposed to sleep when the Stars, the Higher Powers, the League, our own citizens and everypony else wants Equestria dead? What comfort can I find in sleep? None! But I can certainly find plenty in my vodka.”

Cadence cautiously takes a step to Shining Armor, but he mutters unintelligibly, grabs a half empty bottle of alcohol near the couch and takes a long gulp of it, drowning nearly all of it in one breath.

Cadence approaches Shining Armor carefully with her concern growing. “Shining, what’s wrong?”

“Wrong? Oh, nothing's wrong. We're all just dying with smiles on our faces and our goddesses are doing jack shit while I'm the only one who gives a shit about what the Hell happens to this country,” says Shining Armor.

Cadence walks after him. “What do you mean? Is this about the Stars dooming Equestria rant?”

“Glad you were listening,” scoffs Shining Armor. “Celestia and Luna are lost. Now it’s just me to fight the Stars and Brisk Wind and Roar Shock.” He looks at Cadence angrily, but he’s not angry at her. He’s angry at himself. “You know, I took an oath to protect Equestria, the Royal Family, and the Solar Doctrine, but I can’t do that.”

“Shining, you are the most capable soldier I know.”

“STOP!”

Cadence jumps back with tears swelling in her eyes and Shining Armor stares at her for a moment before he walks away from the stairs with his head down.

“Don’t you see that I’m not capable?” says Shining Armor. “I couldn’t stop Nightmare Moon from doing whatever it is she did to Celestia all those years ago. I couldn’t convince Celestia to move Discord from the gardens. I couldn’t protect you from Chrysalis or stop the changeling attack-”

“Shining, stop this,” says Cadence as she walks after him.

Shining Armor stomps around the living room, each heavy step giving him a twinge of pain in his injured hoof. “I couldn’t stop Eclipse or Gilda or all those other criminals from taking Equestria’s streets. I couldn’t save Blueblood from getting killed.”

“Shining Armor Sparkle, stop this, now!” orders Cadence. She yanks the bottle away from him and slams it on the coffee table, then she grabs his head and makes him look her in the eyes. “I know you want to be Superstallion to everypony, but you can’t! You can’t be carrying the weight of Equus on your shoulders!”

“You don’t understand, I have to do it!” says Shining Armor. “Its my job! But Quill Pen was right. I am incompetent.”

Cadence shakes her head, closing her eyes and hugging Shining Armor as tears roll down her cheeks.

“No, no you’re not incompetent. Not even close. Most would have resigned already, but not you.” Cadence puts her hoof over his heart and looks into his beaten eyes. “You stopped Chrysalis. You pushed the Changelings out. You convinced Celestia to modernize the Royal Guard.”

Shining Armor shakes his head. “Cadence, you don’t get it.”

“Who found Blueblood’s killer? You did! Who’s leading the charge against crime and corruption? You are! Who defeated the League of Justice? You did! That was all you!”

Shining Armor pulls away from Cadence again and slides on the floor by the fireplace, staring at the ceiling.

“I didn’t defeat the League of Justice. They survived. Their leader is still alive and now he’s going to kill Equestria,” says Shining Armor. “I don’t know how. I just know he’s going to do it.”

Cadence sits in front of Shining Armor, trying to look him in the eyes, but he keeps shifting his head away.

“Shining, look at me,” says Cadence softly while guiding his face with her hoof so he can see her.

Shining Armor closes his eyes.

“Honey, look at me.”

Shining Armor reluctantly opens his eyes.

“You stopped him once, you can do it again.”

“Do you know how I stopped him last time?” says Shining Armor.

Cadence shakes her head.

“Torture,” says Shining Armor grimly. “Torture is what saved Equestria last time. I allowed it. I stood by. I watched as they tortured Trixie for information. I did nothing. I want to blame my injuries for not stopping it, but I don’t think that’s the truth. I think I allowed it because I knew that girl wouldn’t talk unless we put her through pain, but that was only one. Who knows how many were tortured for information, but it is out of that pain we inflicted on those terrorists that we were able to cripple their organization. But it was not enough and now we have nopony to torture for information. Now he is coming with the help of the Stars and the only ones who can stop them have quit, leaving me to fight a war that’s been in the making for a thousand years.”

Cadence stares at Shining Armor, eyes wide and jaw dropping from shock. Then she looks away and both sit in silence, looking at the floor, unmoving and unable to find the strength to look at each other. The seconds ticking by seem to be minutes, and after an indefinite amount of time, Cadence gets up and leaves without saying another word with her head down and body sagging. Shining Armor watches her until she is out of sight and when the door to their bedroom closes and locks, he closes his eyes, bangs his head against the wall and takes a gulp of his vodka.

“-Now that Major Fuller has offered to lead the Civilian Defense Agency, do you think that Princess Celestia will take him up on his offer?”

“Well, Major Fuller was the runner up for Captain of the Guard and he has proven to be capable of running the Research and Development hub at Hoofington-”

Click.

“-The Baystone Protests was broken up by the Royal Guards this evening. Reports from our Baystone branch say that the right-wing, anti-government extremists were-”

Click.

“-The arms race between Bernse and Altai continues, and Bernese still faces international scrutiny as it faces accusations of waging shadow wars-”

Click.

“Hey, buddy, why don’t you leave the radio off since you have such a problem keeping a channel?” says Rainbow Dash from her cot in her cell.

A Royal Guard reading a copy of the New Yoke Times with the front page having a picture of Twilight and a caption saying: “New Director of R&D?” looks at the guard messing with the radio. “You know, she does have a point.”

The other guard glares at him. “Well excuse me for wanting to listen to some good music.”

“You have to switch it FM, genius,” says Rainbow Dash.

“You shut your mouth!”

“Hey, show some respect. I’m the Element of Loyalty!”

“And this is me giving a shit,” says the guard as he turns away from Rainbow Dash to mess with the radio.

“If you want to give shit I got the paperwork for transfer to sanitation waiting for you, Private,” snarls Soarin as he marches into the room with his uniform crisp and his buttons gleaming in the light.

Both guards snap to their feet, knocking their chairs down in the process, and salute Captain Soarin as he marches in. He glares at both of them, particularly the one giving Rainbow Dash crap and orders them to leave. They leave without question and when the door shuts behind them, he shuts off the radio and drags the chair towards the cell, directly in front of Rainbow Dash and sits down with a very aggressive scowl. A look that Soarin pulls of very well, despite how laid back he is most of the time. In fact, with the intense frown and lightning, he actually looks terrifying to Rainbow Dash. She shrinks back slightly while looking away to keep that terrifying look out of her line of sight.

“What is wrong with you, Rainbow?” asks Soarin, his voice quivering with anger. Rainbow Dash’s ears droop as she looks away from Soarin, and he snorts and keeps his glare set on her. “What you did was stupid. You jeopardized everything.”

“What did you want me to do?” snaps Rainbow Dash.

“I wanted you to be smart and not so rash for once in your life!”

Rainbow Dash stomps her hoof. “Oh, like you’ve known me all your life! I was a nopony to you until I asked you out!”

“This is not about me! This is about you and how you busted Major Fuller’s lip!”

Rainbow Dash snorts and sits down, puffing out her chest proudly. “If he can’t take that then he doesn’t deserve to be an officer.”

“You don’t get it! It’s not about how tough he is or whether or not he was right! He was an officer! He’s leading Project: Chrysaor! I stuck my neck out for you to get you in there! Hell, just by courting you I am putting my career and reputation on the line!”

“So it is about you!”

“Okay, maybe it is about me, but its definitely more about you than me. First, you fly into a hospital screaming like a madmare with a bloody pony in your arms.”

“She’s my friend!”

“Then they find a warehouse full of dead ponies and griffins.”
“I wasn’t going to leave her there to be murdered!”

“And then you got in a fight in a bucking hospital.”

“He called Pinkie a vegetable!”

“STOP TALKING OVER ME!” screams Soarin as he slams his hoof against the bars with a deafening result. Rainbow Dash yelps and jumps back, trembling violently in her safe corner as she watches Soarin breathe heavily with his teeth gritted and eyes narrowed. He sighs a moment later and runs his hoof through his mane to push the sweat back. “I like you, Rainbow, I really do. You are very talented, loyal, and ambitious, but you’re also a loose cannon, and that threatens everything.”

“What are you saying?” asks Rainbow Dash as she hesitantly approaches the bars with tears sliding down her cheeks. “Are we breaking up?”

Soarin looks at Rainbow Dash apologetically. “Let’s just call this a break until this whole thing is taken care of.”

“That means break up! You’re breaking up with me because I saved Pinkie?”

“No, we’re taking a break. What you did was reckless and I have a career to look after.”

"Bullshit!”

Soarin looks away from the angry mare. “Rainbow, if you aren’t court marshaled I’ll see to it that you are put in a good unit, but we can’t do this. I can’t do this. What you did jeopardized everything I built my life around. I’m sorry, Rainbow, maybe if that night had turned out differently we wouldn’t have this conversation.”

“You mean if I had just let Pinkie die we wouldn’t be having this conversation?” Rainbow Dash scowls and folds her hooves across her chest as she looks away. “Sorry, Soarin, but my friendship with Pinkie is worth more than a hundred of you.”

Soarin silently nods his head and after putting the chair back, he heads towards the exit. Rainbow Dash looks over her shoulder as Soarin pushes open the door.

“What would you do if one of your friends was dying, Soarin?” asks Rainbow Dash coldly.

Soarin stops walking and looks at Rainbow Dash out of the corner of his eye. He opens his mouth to say something, but ends up releasing a heavy sigh and leaving the room without another word. Rainbow Dash calls Soarin, but when the door closes she whimpers and slides to the ground. She closes her eyes and bangs her head against the wall, not caring about the headache she’s getting. All she cares about is how miserable and empty she feels. All she cares about is that she’s been betrayed by the stallion she loves.

No. The stallion she loved.