Blake fumbled with the key to his house, before finally managing to insert it and turn it, shoving the door open with his knee and then stepping inside. He flicked the light on, and then swung his grocery shopping up onto the counter.

A long sigh left him, and he rolled his shoulders to get out some of the stress, tapping his heel against the ground to try and return feeling to it. Ever since the accident driving his car had been stressful. Technically, he wasn’t supposed to, but the alternative was walking six blocks to the grocery store.

HIs house was a modest thing, a two bedroom building with a small backyard, a boxing bag, and a carport. Originally, his girlfriend had moved in with him, but she was long gone. Now it was just him.

Blake made sure he had everything, and then pushed the remote lock on his car keys, watching for the flash of orange in the darkness to make sure that the car had locked properly.

Once everything was in order, he shut the door, locked it, and picked up his grocery bag, moving into the kitchen.

Several of the cupboards were open, as was the freezer door.

Blake frowned, and quietly set down his bag of groceries. He reached down behind an old cupboard and produced an equally old cricket bat, tightening his grip on the handle and advancing further into the house.

The door to his bedroom was open, and his tv was softly droning. He could see a sliver of a cheetah on the screen, stalking some animal that was soon to become dinner.

Blake carefully advanced towards the door, holding the cricket bat behind himself, almost touching the wall, ready to swing it with great force should anything come to the doorway of his room. Holding his breath, he inched the door open, and peeked inside.

Princess Celestia was on his bed.

The princess was just laying there, on her stomach, forehooves delicately crossed, her chin resting on them, with wings splayed out lazily to the side, watching the tv with rapt interest, ears pricked forwards, eyes following the cheetah.

“What the fuck are you doing in my house?” Blake asked blankly.

Celestia blinked several times, before she turned to face him, giving another series of blinks, and then shaking her head to clear it. “Good evening, Blake,” she said, seeming to come to her senses. “You missed our meeting.”

“Well they got some other diplomat-looking types in to serve you tea and stuff, I didn’t have much of a say in the choices there,” Blake said, leaning the bat against the wall beside the door, and then stepping into his own room, frowning at the princess.

“I noticed,” Celestia admitted, wrinkling her nose deeply. “They were quite… unremarkable.”

“Yeah, they kinda creeped me out, too,” Blake admitted, sitting down on the very corner of his bed. “like they were robots or something. No emotions, always trying to make me feel at ease and be friendly.”

“Indeed,” Celestia said with a faint scowl, uncrossing her hooves and then crossing them the other way, laying her chin back on them.

“That still don’t answer the question on why you’re in my house,” Blake said, turning to stare at her sideways. “How did you even find it?”

“You have my feather,” Celestia said with a slow smile, a mischievous look crossing her features. “It was not hard to find it.”

“That’s weird and a little bit creepy,” Blake responded bluntly.

Celestia gave a soft giggle at his discomfort. “I felt, somehow, that you would not be my server for very long. So I took measures until you return.”

“I’m not going to be back to being your server,” Blake said, giving her a sideways glance. “They flew in like twenty diplomats from all over the world.”

Celestia arched an eyebrow. “I am going to apply pressure to the diplomats to have back my handsome, well-spoken server.”

“Well, at least I know Equestria’s standards for beauty are in the dumps,” Blake said with a soft snort.

“Oh come now, you are not displeasing to the eye. Certainly you think the same of me,” Celestia said, giving her wings a languid little stretch.

“You’re really big and really adorable. It’s kind of weird,” Blake admitted, scratching the back of his neck nervously. “And you’re kind of… intrusive.”

“If you are overly bothered by my presence, I can leave,” Celestia said simply. “Though I sense that you enjoy my company more than you would admit.”

Blake frowned at that. “Well, okay. It’s kinda cool having a princess in my house. From another universe dimension thing. But you still didn’t ask me where I lived. You kind of just showed up. Without permission.”

“Oh please, let me just pull out my mobile fowl and dial your digits,” Celestia said with a wave of her hoof.

Blake stared at her for several long, long moments.

Celestia paused and cleared her throat. “I butchered that, didn’t I?”

“Thoroughly.”

“What did I do wrong?”

“It’s a phone. And you want to dial my ‘number’,” Blake corrected, shaking his head. “So, did you have a good snoop around before I got home?”

“Your cat may not return for several days,” Celestia said candidly, giving a soft little giggle. “She is a very pretty color.”

“Jade? Yeah. I picked her because she’s black.”

“In our world, black cats are seen as bad luck,” Celestia admitted. “Superstition, but a deep one.”

“They kind of are over here, too. But I’ve never held much stock in superstition. I’ve been known to punch a few mirrors,” Blake said with a wan smile.

Celestia wrinkled her nose at that. “Whyever would you punch a mirror?”

“Anger issues,” Blake admitted with a shrug. “I got a punching bag out the back for that now. Does a lot less damage to my fists. Less time spent in hospital getting your hand reconstructed is always nice, too.”

“I did not know you had anger issues,” Celestia said with a single blink.

“Ehhh. It was my ex-girlfriend. She was a little bit of a manipulative bitch,” Blake admitted, rubbing his arm with a palm. “I’m sure you’ve had plenty of boyfriends. Probably some awful ones, too.”

“That I have,” Celestia said, inclining her head. “Though never did they make me angry enough to punch a mirror.”

“You’re too composed,” Blake stated, looking at her properly now. “Stiff, and wooden. You smile, and laugh, but it never really… it never seems truly sincere. Like you’re doing it just because you’re expected to.”

Celestia frowned deeply at that. “I am afraid that several thousand years of habit are impossible to break.”

“I’d say something about ‘teaching an old dog new tricks’ but I think I’d get swatted,” Blake said with a half-grin.

Celestia’s eyes narrowed slowly. “Your survival instinct is quite apparent.”

Blake smirked a little at that. “So… what are you here for?”

“I enjoy your company. I find you interesting and wished to spend more time with you,” Celestia admitted, wiggling a little bit to get more comfortable.

“Well, to be honest, I was kinda just gonna have a shower, watch a movie or surf the internet, and then go to sleep,” Blake said, scratching nervously behind his head. “Aren’t they going to notice you’re, you know, missing? I’m a little worried my front door is going to get kicked in.”

A slow smile spread across Celestia’s face. “I grew very offended at the hair colour of my newest server, and I demanded that breakfast be left inside my fridge, and that I not be disturbed for any reason until tomorrow morning, lest I incinerate any who enters.”

“Subtle.”

“Your diplomats do not respect privacy without fear of incineration,” Celestia retorted.

“I heard that,” Blake responded with a faint chuckle. “Anyway, you seemed to be enjoying whatever was on TV before. I’m going to go have a shower.”

“Very well then,” Celestia said, tucking her forehooves closer and turning her attention back to the TV. “Is there a way to make it louder?”

Blake picked up the remote control from the dresser, and raised the volume until the narrator could be heard talking about the habits of Cheetahs. He dropped the remote on the bedsheets. “You can change the volume with the buttons, but I don’t think you’d be able to push them with your hooves.”

“The current volume is sufficient,” Celestia said with an incline of her head.

Blake nodded, and then slipped out of the doorway, picking up the cricket bat as he went. He placed it back behind the cupboard in the entryway. He then headed to the laundry, grabbing some clothes out of the dryer, and then stepping into the bathroom. He pushed the door as shut as possible, even though it wouldn’t latch any more due to the house settling.

After a good five minutes, he managed to get his shoe off, unwrap the bandage around it, and gingerly step into the shower. There was a huge slipper kind thing he was supposed to wear in the shower so he wouldn’t slip and fall, but it was more trouble than it was worth. With a little bit of maneuvering, he settled down in the corner of the shower with the water beating down around his shoulders, giving a long sigh as he relaxed.

After a minute or two of relaxation, the hairs on the back of his neck started to stand on end. Frowning deeply, he opened his eyes, shielding them from water with his hand.

Celestia was standing in his bathroom.

Blake closed his legs immediately, dropping an arm between them and scowling at the princess. “Oh shut the fucking door if you’re going to perv!”

“I was not ‘perving’,” Celestia said simply, turning and closing the door to the bathroom, cutting off the cool draught of air. “I was observing. It is customary in Equestria for bathing to be done communally to conserve water.”

“Really?” Blake asked, exasperated.

“No,” Celestia said, giving a soft giggle, a hoof at her mouth.

Blake rolled his eyes. “So you’re not even affording me the privacy you lot give each other?”

“I rather like seeing you flustered,” Celestia said calmly, taking a step towards the shower. “You are quite cute when you are flustered.”

“I am rugged and handsome,” Blake countered with a shudder. “Kittens are ‘cute’.”

“Very well, Mr Rugged And Handsome,” Celestia corrected, pausing at the edge of the shower and looking him up and down. “Is that the actual size of your penis, or does it grow?”

Blake spluttered.

Celestia gave a soft giggle. “Adorable.”

“Of course it fucking gets bigger,” Blake said with a scowl.

“Good,” Celestia stated simply. “By what margin?”

“I don’t bloody know,” Blake said, “Why the sudden interest?”

“I have always been interested,” Celestia explained simply. “I have merely not voiced by curiosity. So… ballpark. How much larger does it become?”

“If you let me get dressed, I’ll google it and you can know everything you want to,” Blake said, voice strained.

Celestia arched an eyebrow. “And yet, google will not become flustered and embarrassed.” With a sly smirk, Celestia held out her hooves, at nearly a metre apart. “Bigger? Or smaller?”

“Smaller,” Blake said through clenched teeth, feeling warmth rising in his cheeks.

Celestia brought her hooves closer together, arching an eyebrow.

“Smaller,” Blake repeated.

Celestia pressed her hooves ever closer.

“There, like that. But it’s different for different people,” Blake said, looking away.

“Very good,” Celestia said, clapping her hooves together with a little bounce. “Quite comparable to our stallions.”

“Now, if you’re done,” Blake said with a soft snort. “Humans do not shower together.”

“This, I understand,” Celestia said calmly. “Please stand.”

“What? No,” Blake said with a violent shake of his head.

“I assure you, I have memorized your features to be put into sketch form quite well enough already. Please stand,” Celestia repeated, making a motion with a hoof.

“Why the hell do you want me to stand?” Blake asked plaintively. “You’ve already stared at me while I showered you creepy bitch.”

“I find it interested that you just insulted me with your language but not your intent. Were a diplomat to say that to me, I would have been quite slighted. Rise,” Celestia said again, making a lifting motion with a forehoof.

“Oh for fucks sake,” Blake said, scowling and rolling over onto his knees, resting on his good heel. “That’s all you’re getting.”

“Acceptable,” Celestia said, taking a single step towards him. She reached over with a hoof, turning off the hot water tap, and then the cold, leaving Blake kneeling in the shower, water rapidly cooling on his skin.

“Okay, what did you w-

Blake was cut off as Celestia leaned in and kissed him full on the lips. Soft, slightly fuzzy lips pushed up against his own, and a surprisingly soft hoof wrapped around his hips to hold him steady as the princess kissed him.

Purring low in her throat, Celestia tilted her head slightly to the left, deepening the kiss, her tongue darting forwards like a tongue of flame, pressing against his teeth before finding his own tongue to lightly gyrate again. Her spicy breath mingled with his own, and he could taste her surprisingly large tongue as it pushed against his own.

After several long moments of fiery kissing, Celestia drew back, smirking at him.

Blake blinked once or twice, swallowing thickly and panting a little bit. “I uh.. That was…”

“You enjoyed that, did you not?” Celestia asked coyly.

Blake nodded stiffly.

“Then at least kissing is the same between our species,” Celestia said smartly.

Blake gave a weak smile, and then an awkward look left and right. “Are you done? Because I want to finish my shower. And stuff.”

A strange look crossed over Celestia’s features, and Blake realised after half a second that the princess actually looked nervous and slightly excited. Her usually impeccable composure was slightly broken for an instant. “In fact, there was one other thing.”

“Is it going to take long because I… I… Because…” Blake trailed off, finding his mouth hanging open.

“See? No teeth.”

Blood rushed in Blake’s ears, and he stared with wide eyes.

Celestia had turned around as she spoke, dropped her chest to the ground, spread her hindlegs, and lifted her tail. The multicolor, ethereal length was draped to the side, revealing the expanse of her smooth, soft rump. But the most captivating part of it all was the perfect princess pussy resting between her thighs. The outer lips were white, covered in the same fur as the rest of her, with a very well-defined mound of flesh divided into plump, pliable halves. There merest sliver of bright pink was visible between the thick, pliable outer lips.

Celestia was not helping the situation at all, as she had grasped one of her soft rump cheeks and was squeezing with just the right pressure to spread herself open, revealing more of that impossibly soft flesh to his gaze, tucked between those perfect, smooth outer lips.

After letting Blake drink in the sight of her exposed flesh, she rose back to her hooves, and then gave a lazy stretch. She giggled softly at his expression. “I think the question of if you like my kind, at least aesthetically, is now quite moot.”

“I… I…” Blake tried to form a coherent sentence. And failed.

Celestia stepped towards the door, opening it and stepping halfway through, before looking back over her shoulder with a playful giggle. “When you’ve composed yourself, I will be waiting in your room. I am interested in the movie you were going to watch.”