After about 10 minutes, you were transported to the gym that everyone was forced to "exercise" in. The more you walk around in this place, the more it reminds you of a middle school, except with dorms. You see an array of 30 foam balls, each colored differently as if it were a rainbow. You were told to sit in the bleachers with everyone else, so that the guards could explain the rules to everyone.

"Can everypony settle down, please? I'm here to tell you all the rules." says an oldish looking guard pony, standing in front of everyone in the bleachers. As if on cue, everyone quiets down and listens intently.

"First off, if you want to play dodgeball, please come down here."

You get up, and go to the middle of the gym, along with some familiar faces like Tiger and Bulk Biceps. About 40 people got down to the floor.

"Now, we're going to need two team leaders! If you want to be the leader, please raise your hoof!" says the old guard.

Nobody raises any appendage. You raise yours.

"Ah, Anon! Glad to see you're willing to be a good volunteer, I'll be sure to give you some good boy points. Please stand by me, ok?"

You stand by the guard pony.

"Alright, is anypony else interested in being a team leader?" pipes the guard, thankful that someone actually volunteered. Since the ponies on the floor saw your amazing display of initiative, you see quite a few arms/legs raised into the air. Tiger apparently got the guard's attention, so the guard chose him to be the opposing force, much to your demise. You thought to yourself, that you were gonna be fucked royally.

"Now, you must choose your teams! Tiger, you get to go first." says the guard pony.

"I choose the bulky pony right there." the dragon mutters, as he points over to Bulk Biceps. Fuck, you were hoping you would at least get one strong person on your team. Five minutes pass, and the teams are selected. You got the griffin, Helka, on your team at least. You weren't so sure about her throwing abilities, but you hoped that griffins could at least be some help. The rest of your team are some assorted ponies you randomly chose from the crowd. Most being girls, by your luck. You didn't notice how odd wet sounds came from their seats as the ponies you chose got up.

Tiger's team consisted of Bulk Biceps and some other assorted ponies. You expected the "normal" ponies were to be just pawns who took the hits for Tiger. Bulk Biceps could also be a dangerous target, considering how fucking huge his biceps are. He must be able to throw these balls insanely fast.

The enemy you were most focused on is Tiger. It seems since you were pretty much the only useful person on your team, you would have to pull a cowardly move and play as if you're the only person on your team. Right now, your team mates do not exist. You are completely focused on eliminating the threat through any means available. You feel a sudden wave of motivation well up inside you.

"Okay, are all the teams chosen? Good! This is the first time in a while that we've had full teams. I hope nobody gets hit too hard." says the old lady guard from earlier. A whistle is blown, and the game began.

You're not sure what just happened, but your entire team went to the back of the gym on your side, and just stood there awkwardly. The same happened for Tiger's team. You were surprised at the fact that Bulk Biceps didn't even want to play. Only Tiger remained in the front lines, along with you. Tiger then picked up a ball. You picked up two, and went back to the middle of the field.

Tiger rears his arm back, and throws the fastest ball in the history of balls to be thrown. You only have a moment to dodge, and the ball nearly grazed your face by five millimeters. You return with throwing your two grabbed balls in a rapid burst fire, thanks to your muscular arms and quick reaction time. Tiger grabs a ball off the ground, however, and deflects both balls using the ball.

You're more pissed at the fact that your own men would abandon you.

"Would someone get off their ass and fucking help me here you dumb cunts?!" you scream at your selected team. Something clicks inside of the brains of all involved, and a few join you out on the field.

Tiger, however, didn't like this, and grabbed a few balls that were still left in the middle of the gym. He then threw them to his team and told them to get moving.

Thus begins the great Battle of the Doggle Ball.

You are Lance Corporal Anonymous, and you're in the middle of a large firefight. You were one of multiple squads out defending your little base you had out here in the desert. Everyone took a defensive position, with you and your squad behind some hills and in fighting holes. You were one of the unlucky bastards who managed to get in a fighting hole. Being in Afghanistan sucked, there was no pussy, no toilets, and worst of all, there was only dirt. Yes, oh how you loved it out here where everything was perfect. Rocks are so comforting under your iso mat! Fucking terrorists are advancing to your men's position, and nobody is doing anything. Other squads in other fighting holes and hills are doing their part, holding most of these assholes off but there seems to be an insanely disproportionate amount of enemies.

Unfortunately for you, you were out of ammo for your rifle, and there weren't any 5.56 round canisters around. You were down to your pistol with only 2 spare magazines. Your heart skips a beat. Could it all end here?

"Hey, someone spare me a mag! I can't shoot them from this distance with a fucking Beretta!" you holler. There wasn't anyone answering your call. Other squads were too far away from you, and getting over to them for some help would mean certain death as you would be out of cover. You fire off a few stray rounds from your pistol in the general direction of the enemy, and you turn around after ducking behind cover again. A stray rocket from the enemy side hits the squad closest to you, about thirty meters away. You reel from the shock wave, and all that remains from where it hit was a huge cloud of dust, obscuring any sight to any survivors in the rubble.

"Would someone get off their ass and fucking help me here you dumb cunts?!" you scream at your fellow men. They may be your same rank, some higher, but god dammit you weren't going to be killed by any sand monkeys. You'll give out orders to higher ups any day if it means your men live.

You then spot your NCO dragging your squad away from the fight and into a nearby humvee. It takes you a moment to realize what your NCO is doing.

That asshat's taking your squad away from the fight and leaving you out here!

The only thing you feel right now is betrayal. It's as if a filter was placed on top of your hearing, and only the muffled sounds of gunshots in the distance and the footsteps of your men and the fucking officer were the things you could hear. You now feel anger, instead of betrayal.

You weren't going to let your men abandon you on the field, and you weren't going to let your officer get away with it.

"I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU, YOU PIECE OF SHIT COCK SUCKING BASTARD! NOT EVEN THE FUCKING COMMANDANT WILL SAVE YOU!" you scream. Disregarding all the gunfire coming towards your position, you jump out of your fighting hole and dash towards your NCO who's taking your men out of the fight and leaving the rest of these men out here to get overwhelmed and die.

Pistol in hand, you get close to ten feet away from your NCO and blindly fire at him in a fit of rage. His right arm gets blown to bits, and you're pretty sure his legs are crippled now. Sadly for you he wasn't mortally wounded. You jump on him while he's on the ground and start punching him.

"ANONYMOUS? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? GET OFF STAFF SERGEANT BAKER!" yells one of the men in the Humvee.

It took 5 marines to get you off him, and they all start beating you too. You're disarmed as well, no pistol or M4, no knife. Your men really don't trust you.

"GET BACK OUT THERE, NOW! DON'T LEAVE THEM ALL TO DIE! PLEASE!" you scream while on the ground.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, ANONYMOUS! SHUT THE FUCK UP!" shouts another one of your men in the face.

"YOU BEST BE GLAD WE'RE NOT DEAD AND THEY ARE! FUCK THEM! IF THEY WANT TO FIGHT THEY CAN! YOU BEST BE GLAD YOU DIDN'T KILL BAKER!"

You're dragged in the Humvee, and thrown in the back. Bloodily beaten, with what eyesight you still have, you look out the window and watch as everyone still fights.

"WE'RE TAKING YOUR CRAZY ASS OUT OF AFGHANISTAN, ANONYMOUS!"

The gym was heated. Everyone in the stands were amazed to see you grab a ball and throw it so hard that when it hit one of the ponies, the said pony was sent flying back and cracked the cement wall. The crowd went wild.

"THAT'S FOR AFGHANISTAN!" you shout. One of the ponies on your side throws a ball, but was too weak and the ball only traveled ten feet before dropping harmlessly on the floor.

"What's an aff-ganee-stan? And why does he keep shouting traitors?" says a pony in the stands.

Back in the stands, Sugar is explaining to the other older guard that she should let the cursing slide this once. The older guard sheepishly agrees, but only because your prowess with foam balls of dodge is too great.

One of the enemy ponies throws a ball at you, and you catch it midair. A whistle blows, signalling that the pony is out. Tiger comes from the side and throws another ball at you. You look at the incoming ball with menace, and grab it, but the force of the ball was too strong, and you were sent sliding on your feet back about three feet. The sound of screeching rubber from your shoes fills your ears. Tiger looks at you with incredulity.

"How the heck did you catch that? That would normally sent anyone else flying!" he says.

"I AM ONE MOTIVATED SEXY BEAST." you say, promptly.

The whistle blows, and Tiger is officially out. The rest of the game will be easy.

Only three minutes pass, and everyone on the other side is out. Both sides of the gym were wet on the floor with presumably sweat. Everyone on your team was out too, save for you. The crowd is wild, everyone is shouting your name.

"Anon! Anon! Anon!" they all shout.

"Please, come to my room later tonight!" you hear someone say.

"I am incredibly turned on right now!" you hear a manly voice say.

"Is it over yet?" you hear another voice say.

You are panting. Most the ponies on the other side didn't even bother to get off the field, and most simply tripped over the bodies and didn't get up. You didn't even throw more than eight balls. The other team, in a course of three minutes, eliminated themselves. A voice on the intercom blares.

"Alright, everypony! What a wild game of dodgeball! I hope everypony enjoyed watching it, I-I know I did," the voice huffs for a bit, and then takes another breath. "...would everypony please resume all their own activities? There's still some day left, and you wouldn't want to miss it! You're all free to go now."

Before you know it, the room is devoid of anyone. Seems like dodgeball was something they were forced to go through often. This left you standing in the middle of a gym, everything covered with sweat. You decided it was about time for you to go, too.

You take one step and your foot slips, leaving you face-first in a large puddle of sweat.

Wait...

THAT WASN'T FUCKING SWEAT.

Author's Notes:

never abandon your men in the middle of a fight, or else you'll get 360 noscoped and fucked by the green weenie

anyways, i had to dumb down some of the military parts of this chapter because it's likely nobody will know most of the shit the marine corps has regarding culture and weaponry