You are Anon, a human who had just been transported to Equestria by unknown means about 6 months ago. These talking horses are weird to you, and their culture is the equivalent of "Weenie Hut Jr." A crime of your world's level is unheard of in this world. Apparently, no one here would ever think of killing or robbing banks. They'd rather just have little pony squabbles and prance around like nothing was wrong. What really confuses you is that you've seen everyone scared of the prisons. It's almost as if the prisons are worse than your world's Nazi death camps.

The prisons here are apparently feared and avoided in conversation by the ponies. Your friend Lyra, a mint green pony, had told you about the horrible time she had at the jail when she only had to spend a couple of days. She never really went into details, all you heard was "Oh, it was SO BAD!" and "I hope I never go there again, Anon! I'll never commit another crime! I swore!" from her.

You are completely clueless as to what had gone on in there, but you guessed that it was extremely traumatizing, for whatever reason. Eventually, you began to fear the prison too. All the ponies being scared caused you to be scared.

What made it worse for you, is that you're an ex-convict and you had spent your time in human prisons before. You have experience with these kinds of things, and that's why you were caught off-guard when you had the law enforcement called on you for such a silly thing. You were absolutely terrified when you were tackled by around ten cute little "police ponies" and promptly dragged to the jail.

You are currently sitting in a cell with a nasty-looking inmate. To keep your mind off the fear of the horrible things that may happen, you reminisce on how you got jailed.

"Hey, watch where you're going, you silly monkey!" said a rather rude male pony who bumped into you at the grocery store. This really pissed you off, for you had been minding your own business looking at some store-brand knockoffs. You turn to the pony, and you can already tell that he made a huge mistake. The pony looked at you with absolute terror. You were a clean 3 feet taller than the pony. The pony snarls.

"What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch?" you say. As if right on queue, the pony immediately stops snarling and has his tail between his cheeks, tucked tight like his mommy used to every night before bed.

"D-d-d-did you just u-u-use two of the..." the pony had a hard time naming the language you just used for some reason, "..t-the b-bad words?"

"Fucking hell, you can't handle a little cursing?" you retort. You couldn't believe that there was hardly any cursing in this world.

"How can you s-say those horrible things? I did nothing to you!" said the pony. The pony then causes a scene, garnering the attention of everyone within a 100 foot radius, flailing about. The pony then promptly punches himself in the eye for effect, leaving a black eye. He looks back at you with a menacing grin.

"What the hell are you doing to yourself?" you say.

"POLICE! POLICE! HELP! I'VE BEEN CUSSED OUT! I'M HURT! HELP!" he screams in the middle of the supermarket.

You look at him in terror. This was no reason to scream about! You didn't even harm him! You then notice the increasing noise of hooves clopping against the ground.

"Is that him?"

"Get him! That's the one!"

"You're under arrest for speaking the, uh, b-bad words to an innocent citizen! And also punching him! Look at him, how could you do that?" Said the leader of a group of 10 police ponies. The leader's a girl, but you assume she's the sheriff. Her coat is a cyan blue and she has blonde hair that's tied back into a ponytail. And she also has wings. Great, she can chase you.

"I didn't even touch him, and I'm pretty sure he's racist too-" you say before getting interrupted.

"Lies! No one commits a crime in my town! You're going to be punished! Get him!" shouts the sheriff.

You then get restrained by rope being tied around you and a rush of a group of cute horses trying to capture you. Eventually, you trip and fall, and they pick you up and carry you to the Ponyville prison.

You're brought through the doors of the jail and you're untied. You don't even try to fight back, you already know how that ends for people in custody. The sheriff looks back at you.

"Alright, I see you're being a good boy so far." she says. You're pretty sure she's mocking you by now, but you've had your run ins with cops and you're not gonna try anything because you know how cops act when they feel powerful. The crowd of police disperse from around you, and go elsewhere in the building to do police things. The sheriff remains.

"I'm gonna have you dress up in standard prisoner garb, and then I'll leave you to the warden's disposal. Follow me."

You're led by the pony to a counter, where you then registered and signed your name so they could keep track of you. You then are forced to follow the sheriff into a secluded room which has varying uniforms for varying creatures.

"I suppose a minotaur outfit would suit you." says the sheriff. "Oh, you probably don't know my name yet. My name's Prime Patrol! What's your name?"

You have no idea why she's suddenly being nice to you. You'd assume that it's just a courtesy of the pony world to be nice regardless whether the person in question is a hero or a convict, or in this case, an alien from another dimension who's ALSO a convict.

"I'm, uh, Anonymous. You can call me Anon." you say, awkwardly.

"Anon! What a lovely name!" She says. "Also, I need you to strip down for me."

As awkward as it was, you oblige and hide your genitals from Prime Patrol. Knowing how mares keep thinking you're so hot in this world, you couldn't help but notice her trying to get a peek.

"I-is it true? Do you hyoomans really have more.... stamina?" Prime Patrol says.

You look at her, right as you finish dressing. You see her blushing and making horse noises. You're annoyed that every new girl you meet in this place asks you that.

"Yes, humans can run for miles without breaking a sweat! It's cool to see!" you say. That was a half-lie, as your kind can run for a while, but not that long and without breaking a sweat. Prime Patrol looks down at the ground, having failed to get an answer that she wants.

"O-oh. Okay." she says, sheepishly.

"By the way, how long am I staying here?" you ask.

"About a month, because your crime was really bad."

You shudder. Even though you had spent 6 years in human prison, you'd hate to find out how bad the pony prison was. You've always wondered why everyone's so behaved.

"Nopony usually gets that long of a sentence, but I'm sure you'll be fine if you follow the rules and be a good boy!" she says.

Again with the mocking. You're getting really pissed, but you contain your piss-ness because that's your biz-ness.

"Alright, follow me, I'll show you to your warden!"

"Hi there! I hope you're ready to learn how to behave and not hurt anypony's feelings, Mr. Anon!" says a motherly-looking earth-pony mare with glasses. Her coat is that of a creamy color, while her hair is a lavender color. Her butt-stamp is covered by warden clothes. "I'm Daycare! I hope we can be real good friends!"

"Please follow me, Anon! I'll show you to your new prison-buddy!" she pipes.

As you walk down the hallways of the prison, you take note of how clean and well-kept everything is, as if it were some kind of hotel. You can't really see into any of the "cells", if you could call them. They have actual doors kept on the containment rooms with an electronic keypad on each of them. No windows are on the doors.

"Why aren't there any.. real cells?" you ask.

"That would just scare everypony! Nopony wants to be alone and cold!" says Daycare.

"You're joking, right?"

"Haha! You're silly, Anon! But don't be too silly, or else you might get your good boy points taken away from you if you don't follow the rules."

"You're talking as if this is some kind of daycare for convicts."

"No, this is a prison where everypony gets punished for doing crimes, silly!"

You're really beginning to hate all the mocking, it's as if they're trying to comfort you from your impending doom. Even though you managed to not get raped in your jail visits, getting raped by huge ponies would suck. From what you've heard (and seen on the internet when you were still on Earth,) horse dicks can be really hu-

"And here we are! Hey there, Mr. Biceps! I've got a new cell-mate for you!" Daycare says to a huge muscly figure in the cell. You shiver in fear.

"YEAH?" says a loud, deep, and obnoxious voice from inside the cell.

"Whoops! Looks like your light is off! Let me get that..." said Daycare as she flipped a lightswitch, which turned on a light that was in surprisingly good condition. Inside you see this huge-ass muscle-pony which has a fucking mohawk. From what you can see, he (you're assuming it's a he) has a white coat and a blonde mane. Great, a fucking aryan, you think. Daycare holds open the door and you begrudgingly walk in, keeping a distance from "Mr. Biceps", who was looking at you and smiling.

"I'll come back to let you out for lunch and recess! You two should get to know each other!" says Daycare as she locks the door and walks off. You thought you heard her say something about how sad it was that Mr. Biceps had to keep getting new cell-mates.

You look around the cell, avoiding taking a look at your cell-mate. From what you can see, this is no cell, but a fucking hotel room. It's got a private bathroom and everything, including two nice-looking beds. Before you could explore your "suite", you're poked on the shoulder by Mr. Biceps. You're forced to turn around and face the muscle-pony who's sitting on one of the beds.

"HEY THERE. WHAT'S YOUR NAME? I'M BULK BICEPS, I'M SPECIAL LIKE A SNOWFLAKE! JUST CALL ME BULK BICEPS." says Bulk Biceps. This pony is about 1 foot shorter than you, but you can probably assume that he outweighs you by about 400 pounds.

"Uh, special you are. I'm Anonymous. You can call me Anon though." you say.

"WE'RE GONNA HAVE A FUN TIME HERE, YOU AND I." says Bulk Biceps.

You only shudder and imagine what his definition of fun could mean.

Author's Notes:

Pony prison, a horrible place where none should go to.