I’m not sure where to start. Uncle Fine told me to start at the beginning, but what’s that mean? My beginning, or his? Dude needs to be more specific.

Screw it, I’ll assume his for now, and I guess that starts with the forest. Now I’ll be honest, I have no idea if what he believes is true or not. I know I’m just a dumb kid, but I ain’t that guli gulla guhli

---

Gullible. (Thanks, Miss de Lis!)

Why are they making me write this stuff, anyway? It’s not like I have anything important to say. So Uncle Fine saw a statue in the woods. Maybe it’s important, maybe not. Who cares? It doesn’t get me any closer to my goal. It’s just a dumb lawn ornament some stupid noble left out there ages ago.

But it’s important to Uncle Fine. It did get him started on this mad quest, and if it hadn’t I’d have never met Miss de Lis. Heck, I’d probably be in the slums. Or dead.

Maybe I owe that dumb rock more than I thought.

I hope they don’t make me write too many of these things. I have more important stuff to do.

—Gulfstream Dust, Book of Shadows XLVIII

May 14, C.Y. 1007

Fire Fox stared at the unconscious pink filly Fine had given her. “Far away?”

“And far removed,” he added, unable to take his gaze from Pinkie. “No big cities, no major government presence. A nice, small town, preferably with a reputation for friendliness.”

Fire Fox and Roxy – the latter carrying the slumbering white filly – exchanged uncertain looks. “If you say so,” Roxy said. “I think I know a good place. I’ll let you—”

“No.” Fine shot her an alarmed look. “I don’t want to know. I don’t want anypony to know. The farther away from me… from us she is, the better. I never want that filly to see another Archon or even another Royal Guard for the rest of her life.”

Fire Fox shifted and averted her gaze as Fine stared at Pinkie. “Okay, I get it. You want to… uh…”

“Just go.” But when she started to turn away, Fine raised his hoof. “W-wait. Her… her doll. Make sure she has it?”

She nodded, giving him an extra second to brush Pinkie’s mane aside and study her peaceful face. Then she started for the woods, and Fine felt his heart rending.

“What about this one?” Roxy asked, nodding to the foal in her hooves.

Fine rubbed his eyes and turned to examine the white bundle. “She goes to Canterlot Castle. Put her in my suite for now, and make sure somepony is there to watch her at all times. And Roxy?” He waited until she was looking him in the eye. “Be careful. She may be just a filly, but she could be very dangerous.”

She glanced at the filly, an incredulous look on her face. “Really?”

Fine’s lips pulled back in a grimace. “Don’t make light of this, Roxy. That’s no normal filly. You’d do well to remember that.”

“Oookay.” She started to follow Fire Fox, but paused. “What’s her name?”

“Uh…” Fine paused, giving the filly a curious look. He thought for a moment, recalling everything that had just happened in the cave below.

Now this is a surprise.

“Surprise. Her name is Surprise.”

“Surprise.” Roxy nodded and turned for the forest. “See you later, boss.”

“Be careful with those fillies,” he called at her back. He turned his eye on Fire Fox, who was already disappearing in the thick forest. He heaved a long sigh. “Goodbye, Pinkie. I sincerely hope I never see you again.”

With a heavy heart, he turned and trudged past the hole leading to the Mirror Pool. He came upon Celestia’s carriage, to which the two royal guards were already hitched, and climbed in next to the princess. He chose to stare at his hooves and kept as far away from her as the seating arrangements would allow.

“To the castle.” At Celestia’s command, the carriage lurched forward. “Why so glum, Fine?”

He gritted his teeth, knowing he couldn’t ignore the question; already his tongue was tingling with the need to speak. He scrambled for some way to redirect. “I just wish I understood a bit more.”

“You mean about Pinkie and… ‘Surprise,’ was it?”

He shot her a dark look from the corner of his eye. “You were eavesdropping.”

Her smug smile said enough. “I do approve of the name.”

“Thanks, I guess.”

“You’re going to miss Pinkie, aren’t you? I didn’t know you had such a soft spot for foals.”

Leaning against the side of the carriage, Fine sighed and pressed a hoof to his cheek. “That makes two of us.” He blinked and sat up, his eyes roaming the thick foliage all around the carriage. They were moving along an overgrown path, the stallions struggling to pull the carriage through the tall grass and ruts.

“Where are we going? I thought you said we were headed back to the castle.”

Celestia giggled and shook her head. “Wrong castle. Tell me, have you ever heard of the Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters?”

“I have,” he grumbled, ears going flat against his head. “I always thought that a rather ridiculous name for a castle. Why not just ‘Everfree Castle’ or something like that?”

Celestia shrugged. “I didn’t pick the name for it, and I agree it’s a bit long-winded. It had a different name before, which I had expunged from all records.”

Now she had his attention. “Why?”

Celestia didn’t answer at first, her gaze set on something in the distance. She’d lost her smile, instead adopting a pursed frown and furrowed brow. “You’ve done exceedingly well so far, Fine. You approach your work with diligence and focus, know how to follow orders. At the same time, you’ve been fighting my decisions and trying to lessen the impact my commands have. You’re learning quickly. There’s no question that you will make a better Mane Archon than your predecessor.”

If Fine had alarm bells in his head, they’d have been ringing like crazy. He pressed against the wall of the carriage and braced for impact.

“I’ve decided to show you something, the last qualification. Do as I hope, and you will no longer have me shadowing your every action.” She glanced at him, a hard, focused look. “The last five Mane Archons failed to achieve the full privileges of the title, as you are on the verge of doing.”

Okay, no catastrophic orders as of yet. Fine didn’t relax. “So the next test in at your old home?”

“In a sense.” Celestia gained the smallest of smiles. “It’s a little early for a visit, but that’s alright.”

Celestia said nothing after, and Fine was content to brood in silence. He wondered about what horrors he might be set to encounter today, the ideas feeding his bitterness. Then his thoughts shifted to Pinkie, leading to his stomach twisting horribly at the thought of never seeing her again. Of course, this resulted in him thinking on Surprise and just what she may be capable of, which left him with a strange combination of horror and disgust. Another filly soon came to mind; poor little Amethyst Star, who would forever remember the torment her parents suffered but, if fate was kind, might also recall his last words to her. His memories shifted back to Cadance and Shining Armor, the way they begged for more of Celestia’s ‘punishment’ before the black circle and its arcane runes stole them away to the darkest place known to ponydom.

More names, more shames, more dark acts. Fine’s mind ran in circles, retracing its steps and leaving him in a quagmire of misery and guilt. Time passed. An hour, maybe two, all of it silent save for the voices in his head. He refused to look at Celestia, and she didn’t bother to interrupt his brooding.

“We’re here.”

Fine shifted from his reverie and looked up. The chariot came to a gradual stop before a tall stone wall covered in moss and vines. Celestia stepped out, and he followed suit. His head clearing of the last of his unhappy thoughts, he observed their surroundings; nothing but trees along a barely-discernible path, the canopy spreading out over even the wall. Birds chirped in the trees and assorted animal calls filled the air, but otherwise the world was quiet. Fine glanced at the pegasi drivers, both of whom dripped with sweat despite the chill air. Neither looked physically capable of hauling the chariot back through that slog.

“Come along, Fine.”

With a last concerned look at the drivers, Fine followed Celestia through the lone opening in the wall. On the other side he found himself within a broad courtyard overgrown with shrubs and trees. The buildings of the old castle had crumbled, the walls in a state of severe deterioration. Places where doors once stood were now overgrown and impassable or blocked by fallen debris, while new paths had been opened up by the endless, gradual destruction of nature. Only two structures remained largely intact, both towers that stood tall over the ruins, one to the west and another to the north.

“This place is a veritable maze if you don’t know it,” Celestia said, her tone warning. “Keep near, Fine. I’d hate to lose you when you’re so close.”

Fine barely resisted asking ‘Close to what?’ He followed just behind the princess, his head moving about constantly. He took in everything, observing landmarks and making note of alternate paths as Celestia walked him through the walls of stone and trees. “I do hope you don’t intend to abandon me at the center of the ruins and wait for me to find my own way out. That would be a rather weak test.”

Then again, maybe he should hope for exactly that.

Celestia’s chuckle drew his attention. “What?”

“Nothing.” She shot him a wink over her shoulder. “I just like the way you think.”

Fine glowered and turned his face away from her. Looking to change directions, he asked, “So why did you and your sister abandon this place, anyway?”

“I thought you would be aware of the history.”

“I am, even without any schooling.” Fine sighed and recited what every pony in the world could. “After the Sisters killed Discord with the aid of the Unknown Princess, they disappeared from the world for two hundred years of meditation on their dark deed. They returned to rebuild Equestria from the chaos their absence fomented.” He turned his eyes to the back of her head. “That says why you left, but it doesn’t explain why you never bothered to reclaim the castle once you came back.”

“An astute query.”

Celestia said nothing more, and Fine bristled at her silence. “Can’t you at least give me a hint?”

The princess came to a stop and turned to a massive tree grown within the wall next to them. “You’re about to get one.” Her horn flashed, and the tree shivered in place. The center of the trunk warped and twisted, then finally split in two to form an opening. Celestia promptly trotted through, and Fine followed.

They stood in a courtyard, this one much smaller than the last. There were no exits beyond the one they’d entered through and, while still in a state of disrepair, the walls here were intact. The area also lacked any of the overgrowth that covered the rest of the ruins, although the grass had indeed grown tall and broken up the cobblestones that once made the grounds. What really had Fine’s attention, however, stood directly in the middle of the courtyard.

It was a statue of Celestia. It stood tall, but its head hung low and its face showed only despair. Its wings were half-opened and its body was adorned with the familiar stone regalia. It was an exquisite piece of art, best showcased by the mane and tail which hung low in deference to the statue’s apparent mood, yet still had a waving structure that spoke of incredible craftsmanship. Unlike every other object in the ruin, the statue remained untouched by the ravages of nature; not a crack marred its surface and no growth dared touch it.

It seemed nature itself feared to insult the Princess of the Sun.

“Isn’t she beautiful?”

Fine shot a deadpan frown at Celestia and mimicked her fawning tone. “Aren’t you full of yourself?” Then, grudgingly, “It is exquisitely crafted.”

She shot him a smug grin. “I know, right? Come.” She led him to the statue, and as she stopped before it she spoke. “Hello again, Celestia. I’m a decade early, but things happen.”

Though his eyebrow rose, Fine said nothing. He couldn’t help wondering if he’d finally been shown proof that Celestia was as mad as he’d come to believe… although this wasn’t the brand of madness he’d been thinking.

The princess wrapped a hoof around the statue’s neck and leaned against it, a pleasant smile on her lips. She whispered into the statue’s ear. “I have a gift for you. For the first time in decades, a new Mane Archon has proven himself worthy of knowing about us. Isn’t that nice?” Her eyes shifted to Fine Crime. “Say hello.”

Realizing the order was aimed at him, Fine eyed the statue. Though he felt silly, his tongue moved on its own: “Hello, Princess Celestia.”

“Ah-ah-ah.” Celestia waggled a hoof at him. “Just ‘Celestia.’ I’m the princess, isn’t that right, Celestia?” She rapped a hoof against the statue’s head with a smirk.

“Oookay. Hello, Celestia.”

“Much better. Do try to enjoy this, Celestia; you don’t get this opportunity very often.” The princess waved for Fine to approach, and once he was standing before the statue she tapped it again. “Touch your horn with hers, Fine.”

Fine cocked his head but did as he was told. His horn touched the smooth stone surface. “I’m starting to think you brought me out here just to watch me look and act like a foal.”

“Hold still.”

There was a renewed bite to Celestia’s tone. Fine tensed, worry shooting through him at the sound. What was she up to? His eyes drifted up just in time to see Celestia lay her own horn across both his and the statues. It glowed, and Fine opened his mouth to—

Fine fell back from the statue, the coppery taste of blood on his lips. His legs twitched in violent spasms and he collapsed to his side. His lungs begged for air as he gaped like a fish, eyes rolling into his head and his vision turned red.

He reached a trembling hoof, begging silently for help as a fire coursed through his brain. Visions swam through his gaze, images of fighting, of isolation, of despair and anger and loss. Voices whispered into one ear and screamed into the other. He felt hatred in one instant, shame in the next. The world was a chaotic mess of intermingled nonsense that overpowered his mental faculties and ripped his skull apart at the seams.

Fine panicked. He shook and tried to clutch at his head, but his legs still wouldn’t obey his commands, so he tried banging his skull against the ground. To his horror, even his neck muscles wouldn’t respond properly, his head jerking about in random directions and sending sharp spikes of pain through him.

At last his lungs took in air, and he promptly shrieked. He screamed and sobbed and pleaded for mercy and screamed some more as wave after wave of information smashed into his head. He thought he could feel blood running from his nostrils, or was that a wind in his face? Or the heat of the sun or the bite of snow or aroma of fresh wheat or the reek of charred flesh or—

It stopped. The end came so suddenly that it took Fine some time to realize it. He lay sprawled on the ground, a hoarse whistling sound accompanying his rapid, shallow gasps. His skull throbbed, his body burned, his mind couldn’t grasp any proper thoughts. Just as his vision started to blur, he made out a strange white shape looming over him.

“You have one week, Fine. Don’t disappoint me.”

The world went dark, the pain traded for merciful oblivion.

Author's Notes:

A short one, but an important one. I'll make up for it with a longer chapter next week.

Also: formatting that little sequence to make it look just right was a royal pain in the butt.