Uncertain of exactly what to do, Thomas stood alone in Princess Luna’s chamber for a few minutes. The only routine he’d had for the last few months had been following Luna around like a lost puppy, always on standby for whatever she wanted whenever she wanted, which was pretty much every free moment she had between meetings. Otherwise he’d just sit off in the corner and read until he was needed. For the moment, he took the time to examine his current surroundings. The carpet, drapes, and even furniture were all various shades of purple to match the owner’s preferences and looked quite lovely beneath the light of her moon.

However, simply looking at Luna’s possessions reminded Thomas that he had no possessions of his own outside of his spare uniforms. And if he did, he didn’t have his own room to store them. He didn’t even have his own bed. At Luna’s command, he’d always shared hers. Even before his formal job assignment, he’d acted as her personal teddy bear and just snuggle her in the night. The more he thought about it, he actually hadn’t been anywhere or done anything without being escorted by Luna or some other pony. Simply being alone in this exceptionally large room left him feeling quite small and naked; and considering what he usually wore and who he usually wore it around, that was saying something.

“No!” Thomas said quietly to himself. “Luna’s right. I can’t live my whole life as some co-dependent little child. I need to go out there and live for myself,” he said as he stared at the large doors in front of him. “Just step out these doors and… do… something.” A growl from his stomach set the little human on his first task of the day. After another minute of demanding the door open under the power of his gaze alone, Thomas gave up and just pushed the thing open.

Even after living here for so long, the grand halls of the castle never failed to impress. Thomas always felt so small, even without all the amazonian ponies looming over him. This wing was dedicated to Luna, so the walls were decorated with tapestries depicting her cutie mark and even the guards wore the Princess’ colors. They might have fully melted into the background, were it not for the moonlight reflecting off their armor.

Thomas nodded respectfully at the guards standing outside Luna’s room and they returned the gesture. He still felt awkward around the guards, so stoic and intimidating. They were shorter than the Princess, but that still left them towering over him. Matters weren’t helped by the fact that they all probably weighed at least twice as much as he did from sheer muscle mass alone, even before their armor and weapons were factored in. Worse still, his slight pudge and scrawny body left him feeling rather inadequate compared to the sculpted frames of virtually every other pony he’d seen in the castle, especially the guards. On the plus side, they were some of the only ponies who saw fit to cover their private parts, which made sense on account of they had to wear armor to protect themselves. Though their armor did leave their cutie marks exposed. Probably to help tell each other apart.

Equestria was a clothing optional society with most ponies, and other creatures, preferring to go around naked. The nobility who frequented the castle often wore some fabrics. However, while the mares tended to wear full body dresses, the stallions typically only wore vests, meaning Thomas had the dissatisfaction of seeing a lot of pony junk flopping around. He knew he’d get used to it eventually, but he also knew that wouldn’t happen for some time to come.

But enough about that. Thomas was hungry and it was way past time for some breakfast so he headed down to the cafeteria, also commonly called chow hall, where the castle staff ate. Normally he ate with Princess Luna in the dining hall or her office since she’d been hesitant to let him leave her side. That was where he had most of his conversations with Sun Dancer and a few other members of Celestia’s harem. Until now he’d only seen chow hall from the outside and only a few times. As he made his way in what he was pretty sure was the right direction, he couldn’t help but notice the clopping of hoof steps behind him. He stopped, and so did they. Turning around, he jumped at the sight of one of Luna’s guards standing a mere three steps behind him. “Can I help you?”

The mare nodded. “I am Private First Class, Moonlight Shield. I have been assigned as your body guard.”

Thomas stared at her curiously. “Since when do I need a body guard? I mean, I’m just a concubine, er, consort,” he tried to say without sounding embarrassed. It was one thing when Luna called him as such, but the title still made him feel uncomfortable.

“You are Senior Concubine to Princess Luna,” Moonlight Shield responded. “I have been assigned to you because your station has great value to the Princess.”

Thomas studied the guard carefully. Moonlight Shield was a unicorn mare with dark orange fur, a red mane beneath her helmet, several inches taller than him (tall even by normal mare standards), blue eyes, lean muscle, and a silver shield with the moon at its center on her exposed hip. She spoke his title with a fair amount of respect and reverence, not unlike how one might refer to a pop star they liked. As Thomas’ gaze crawled along her body he eventually noticed that she has repeatedly averted her gaze from him, specifically from looking down below his navel at his loincloth.

“Why haven’t I ever seen you before?” He asked suspiciously.

Moonlight Shield hesitated for a moment. “I… I can assure you I have not been in dereliction of duty,” she insisted. “It’s just that every time before now when you’ve left Princess Luna’s room, it has always been in the company of the Princess. And just as her personal guards follow her around, I have followed you. You probably never noticed me among the other guards.”

“Makes sense, I guess,” Thomas conceded, only for his stomach to remind him what he was doing earlier. “I suppose you’re going to follow me to breakfast?”

“If that is where you’re heading, then yes I am,” she nodded a bit more confidently.

“Alright then,” Thomas nodded. “I was just heading to chow hall for some breakfast.”

“Sounds lovely,” Moonlight commented as her stomach growled, much to her embarrassment.

“I don’t suppose you’ve eaten yet,” Thomas offered.

“No, but it is no matter,” Moonlight assured. “I am your protector and…”

Thomas held up his hand to cut her off. “That sound is going to bug me all day. We’re going to chow hall anyway and I don’t know the way, so you might as well have something too.”

Moonlight looked like she wanted to argue, but another protest from her stomach made her see there was no point in resisting.

The pair walked on for a couple minutes before Thomas grew bored of the silence. “Why are you walking behind me?”

“A guard’s place is one step to the left and two steps back,” Moonlight explained. “This position is ideal for guarding our VIPs.”

Thomas rolled his eyes. “Look, I’m not comfortable with all this procedure and stuff. So do you think you could walk beside me so we can talk like normal people?”

“I think you meant to say ‘ponies’ there, Sir,” she pointed out.

Thomas fumed at the guard for catching his slip. That’d been one of the few areas of this culture he felt that he’d adjusted to fairly well. “Just walk beside me, will ya. And drop the ‘sir’ stuff. Just call me Thomas.”

Moonlight nodded and quickly stepped up to his side. “Very well… Thomas. In that case, if it makes you more comfortable, you can call me Moonlight. So, what did you want to talk about?”

“For one thing,” Thomas began. “Why do you say ‘ponies’ instead of ‘people’?”

“I don’t know,” Moonlight shrugged. “I guess it’s because we’re all ponies.”

“But you’re not,” Thomas insisted. “I haven’t been here that long, but I’ve seen donkeys, mules, zebras, griffons, and there was that little dragon a while back.” Thomas said referring to Spike’s recent visit.

Thomas knew the little dragon by name, but had refrained from divulging that information. Upon learning that he had knowledge of a world similar to theirs, Celestia had ordered him to keep such information a secret to all but the Princesses. They were both skeptical about how he knew about their world from a ‘cartoon’ on ‘television’, two words that were alien to the magical Princesses, but they still considered it worthy of caution. Unfortunately he wasn’t able to offer any specific dates, only the relative sequence of events. For instance, he knew that when Spike had visited, it was while Twilight was having her first slumber party, though he didn’t know why he was visiting. Frustratingly, this made planning around the big events all the more difficult. In fact, the more he thought about it, Thomas was certain that this knowledge was the real reason he was assigned his own guard since he’d never noticed one with Sun Dancer.

“Anyway, there are a bunch of non-ponies around here, but they all say stuff like ‘everypony’ even when referring to themselves. What’s the deal with that?”

“I can’t say Sir,” Moonlight conceded. “I never studied the history of language. I’m just here to guard your body,” she said with a half-smile.

“And what an interesting body you have to guard,” said a snobbish voice that made Thomas’ skin crawl. He turned around to see a white unicorn stallion wearing a bowtie and nothing else.

“Prince Blueblood,” Thomas forced a smile and bowed his head cordially. Moonlight mirrored the gesture. “I wasn’t expecting to see you at this time of night… your highness.”

“Yes, well…” Blueblood began while starring absentmindedly at his finger nails. “I had just gotten back from one of my many, many dates,” he said braggingly. “When who should I run into but Auntie Luna’s pet monkey.”

Thomas did his best not to flinch at that word. It wasn’t so much the word that upset him, but the utter contempt with which it was spoken. “I’m sorry, your highness, but I’m a human, not a monkey.”

“Potato, potato,” Blueblood spoke the second word differently. “You’re still my Auntie’s cute little butt slave.”

Thomas stomach turned. He couldn’t figure out if he was more insulted at Blueblood calling him a butt slave, or cute. The latter certainly left him queasier.

“Sir Thomas is Princess Luna’s Senior Concubine,” Moonlight Shield stepped forward defensively, much to the human’s gratitude.

“Indeed he is,” Blueblood trailed off. “Which I can’t help but find quite odd.”

Against his better judgement, Thomas asked “What’s so odd about that?”

“Besides the fact that you’re a tiny hairless ape,” Blueblood continued, “it is most puzzling that Luna is allowed a consort while Auntie Celestia has formally disbanded my own harem. So unfair,” he whined. “Luna hasn’t even been here a year and yet she’s allowed privileges that have been denied to me.”

Rumor had it that Blueblood’s old harem had made so many complaints to the pony rights department that Celestia decided that he needed to learn proper respect before he could be allowed a harem. The Prince, to the surprise of no pony, instead started dating a series of mares from Canterlot and learned absolutely nothing. Regardless, there seemed no point in pointing out why Luna, co-ruler of the country, should have more privileges than the stuck up snob of a Prince who did absolutely nothing productive. It’d likely go in one ear and come out the other anyway.

Thomas cringed as he felt the Prince’s eyes crawl over his body, while he did his best not to look at the admittedly large stallionhood dangling between Blueblood’s legs, or the body he’d gone to great lengths to keep in shape. If there was one thing Blueblood really cared about, it was his appearance. “Is there something I can do for you, my Prince?”

“Hmm,” Blueblood pondered before smiling as an idea came to him. “You can meet me in my chambers in, let’s say, half an hour.”

“Pardon?” Thomas said, taken aback.

“Ugh,” the Prince groaned. “Must I truly repeat myself? I said that you are to meet me in my chambers in half an hour. You are quite the exotic specimen and I am curious what Auntie Luna sees in you,” he said as he began walking off. “Remember, half an hour. Do not be late,” he concluded with a friendly wave.

When the Prince finally disappeared from sight, Thomas remained flabbergasted. “Did that just happen?”

“If you mean the Prince soliciting you for sex, then it would seem so,” Moonlight Shield said in an equally stunned voice.

“Can he even do that? I mean,” Thomas indicated his loincloth, “don’t I sorta belong to Princess Luna?” I don’t much care for being property, but I’ll take Luna’s butt slave over anything involving Blueblood any day of the week.

“Technically it is your day off,” Moonlight shrugged uncomfortably.

“Are you seriously suggesting I let myself get plowed by that…” Thomas stopped himself at seeing some nearby maids and butlers.

“Stuck up snob of a Prince with a silver spoon shoved so far up his flank that he couldn’t possibly relate to any pony ever?” Moonlight suggested, eliciting snickers from the nearby staff.

Thomas stood stunned for a moment. “Did you just…”

“Everypony in the castle knows who Blueblood is,” she answered plainly with a smirk.

Thomas smiled approvingly. “Well that’s nice and all, but that doesn’t change the fact that the Prince just asked me to his chambers.”

“Hmm,” Moonlight pondered. “You are Luna’s concubine, so I’m pretty sure you need to ask her permission for this sort of thing. But on the other hoof, he is a Prince and that did sound like an order. If you don’t show up, he’ll definitely be angry with you.”

“Okay,” Thomas nodded. “But what exactly can he do?”

“You’re part of Princess Luna’s staff, so probably nothing directly,” Moonlight explained. “Though I have heard stories of the rather eccentric steps he’s taken to get back at ponies who’ve snubbed him. I guess it’s up to you. Besides, you don’t necessarily know if he wants you for sex. He could just want to talk.”

We introduce a new character, set up a couple subplots, and introduce old Blueballs. All in all, a fairly productive chapter.

Oh, and an honorary cookie goes to the one who figures out what fan work I quoted.