It was Thursday and Thomas was sweating bullets. Not helping the matter was just how nervous Moonlight and Talon looked as they stood outside the door to Celestia’s chambers.

“Y-you sure this is necessary?” Thomas asked nervously. “Did she really ask to see me?”

“Don’t worry about it, chimp,” Talon waved off, trying to put on her bravest face for his sake. “I guess she heard about our little training thing and felt she’d be a good candidate for your next tutor.”

“How’d she even hear about it in the first place?”

Talon averted her gaze. “Well, she was asking about you, so… I told her.”

“You saying it like that doesn’t exactly make me worry any less.”

“Is she actually…” Moonlight began. “I mean, I’ve heard rumors, but…”

“She’s not all that bad. I swear,” Talon asserted. “Granted, she can be a little imposing at times, but…” the griffon was cut off by the sound of a cough from the other side of the door. “Guess that’s our cue,” she said far too eagerly and pushed the doors open.

Celestia’s room was very similar Luna’s. It was the same size, but it had a brighter color scheme. The bed and furniture were in different positions, yet the doors to the closet and bathroom looked to be in the same spots. There was even a little table off to the side where a lone elderly unicorn with peach colored fur sat wearing only Celestia’s harem uniform and a patient smile. She brushed her purple mane from her face, allowing her red eyes to see and be seen clearly.

“Please,” she gestured to the single chair opposite her on the small table. “Have a seat.”

Her tone was gentle, but something told Thomas he best not make her wait. There was a cushion already on the chair, which Thomas couldn’t figure out if he should appreciate or fear, but he took his seat just the same and stared across at the unicorn. “Miss Sun Dancer,” he tilted his head in a light bow. “I-it’s nice to see you.”

Sun Dancer was old. This Thomas knew for certain. She looked to be in her early forties, but rumor around the castle she’d been in service to Celestia for much longer than that. Whatever her true age, the unicorn mare had reached it very gracefully. Her figure was very lean, suggesting she engaged in a healthy amount of exercise. Her full breasts were nicely shaped and frankly made her look even younger. There were almost no wrinkles on her face and her mane and tail seemed as brightly colored as any younger pony. But the clearest indicators of her age were her wizened red eyes that clearly held many decades of experiences behind them.

“Sir Thomas,” she returned the gesture before looking up at his companions. “You two may sit over there,” she gestured to a couch on the far wall. “We Senior Concubines have some things to discuss.”

Moonlight looked like she wanted to protest, but Talon just grabbed her wrist and gently led the way to the couch. They were still in the room, but the distance was a clear indicator that they were not to interfere and that Thomas was to be left alone to the elder unicorn’s machinations.

“Tea?” Sun Dancer gestured the table where two tea cups magically appeared.

“Oh, uh, yes please,” Thomas nodded as he watched a kettle engulfed in red magic levitate across the room where it poured first his cup then Sun Dancer’s. “Thank you, Miss Sun Dancer.”

“Sunny will be just fine,” Sun Dancer corrected as the tea pot moved away. “We are peers, you and I. And this meeting has been far overdue. Might I interest you in some cucumber sandwiches, perhaps some cheese?”

“N-no thank you. I just got back from breakfast.”

“Ah,” she nodded understandingly. “Forgive me, but I am still adjusting to these new night court hours. Breakfast was only a short while ago, yes?” she asked as she took the first sip of her tea.

“Y-yes,” Thomas nodded, taking the cue to begin nursing his own drink.

“Oh, don’t be that way. I’m not going to bite,” Sun Dancer chuckled. “Unless that would help you relax?”

Thomas was taken aback as he puzzled over Sun Dancer’s tone. Rather than a flirtatious joke, like he’d expect from Talon, this sounded like a sincere offer. “Um, no thank you.”

Sun Dancer leered at him in silence for some time, her eyes boring deep into him, studying his every twitch. It was most disconcerting. “You have nothing to fear from me,” she assured. “I promise that you are not in trouble and that I only wish to talk.”

“Oh. Okay,” Thomas nodded meekly.

Another pause followed before Sun Dancer’s smile curled into a frown. “You are still nervous,” she noted, as if waiting for him to elaborate on his own. “I promised that you will be fine, and yet you are still fearful. Why?”

“I, uh, don’t really know,” Thomas forced a smile before taking another sip.

“This meeting is pointless if we are not completely honest with one another, Sir Thomas. So it is only fair if I begin.” She set her cup on the table, which Thomas took as cue to do the same. “Celestia, Princess of the Sun and co-ruler of Equestria, has asked me to speak to you because she suspects there might be issues with your adaptation into our culture. Specifically, she has expressed concern that our difference in not only culture, but species, may have led to some manner of miscommunication down the road. This is no pony’s fault as we are all still strangers getting to know one another, but sound communication is the only viable path to mutual understanding. Do you follow me so far?”

Thomas gulped. She says there’s nothing wrong, but clearly you don’t have a meeting like this unless someone screwed up big time. I must have said or done something… but what? Surely Moonlight, Talon, or Luna would have pointed it out. Maybe they thought it’d be easier to bring in someone else to mediate? And where the hell does Celestia fit into all this? “I, uh, think so.”

Sun Dancer narrowed her eyes at the human. “For example, Celestia told me that you have asked that Luna not enter your dreams. If this is so, I would like to know why?”

Thomas shrugged. “It’s not that I don’t trust her, but… I don’t know. It just seems like that’s a bit of a breach of privacy that no one should do.” Sun Dancer continued staring at him with an unreadable expression, but motioned for him to continue. “If ponies are fine with it, fine. But I’m just not all that comfortable with, well, exposing myself like that.”

“I see,” Sun Dancer nodded. “Privacy is important to you. Is this why you are so reluctant to be fully nude, because it would expose something you’d rather others not see?”

“Something like that. Yeah.” Thomas would have tried to elaborate, but he was distracted by the sight of Sun Dancer’s loincloth levitating out from under the table where it hovered beside her head. The loincloth then folded itself upon the table where it rested as the unicorn’s magic left it. Sun Dancer gave an amused smile at what Thomas figured was his blushing face.

“Forgive me, but the rumors are true. You are rather cute when you’re embarrassed.”

Thomas felt himself sink into the cushion in an effort to make himself as small as possible. Frowning in concern, Sun Dancer reached out and left her open hand on the table between them. She wiggled in an inviting motion until Thomas hesitantly sat up and reached out for her hand. Her skin was very soft, but grip very strong. The way she stroked the back of his hand with her thumb was soothing, though.

“This right here is a perfect example of what I was getting at earlier. For one thing, as an authority figure, when I tell a pony that all is well, that pony will invariably become calmer. You did not, which shows just how easily miscommunication can occur between us. Do you understand so far?”

“Yeah. I guess that makes sense.”

“There are elements of our culture which continue to bother you and others that you simply do not understand. In the same token, there are elements of your behavior which continue to perplex. This is not your fault,” she asserted. “You are merely accustomed to a different set of standards. If anypony is to blame, it is those of us who have not taken the time to help you feel more comfortable in our ways so that you may adapt. Sir Thomas, I promise that I am only here to help. Do you accept?”

Thomas nodded, a bit more confident than before. “Sure.”

“I have spoken with Luna, Talon, and Moonlight, the three who know you best,” she began, shifting to a sterner tone. “And it grieves me to admit that Celestia, as she often is, is correct. I fear that there has been a most tragic failure to communicate from all effected parties. However, Luna is still rusty with relationships, so to speak, and you are a foreigner and non-pony who cannot be expected to learn our ways overnight. You may both be forgiven for your transgression, but that does not relieve you of atonement. To that end, I will try to be as forward as possible while remaining delicate.”

Once more Thomas was taken aback. The mare’s sudden tonal shift was quite jarring. Also, the words she was using, transgression and atonement were especially disconcerting.

“For starters, I understand that you are not as familiar with pony herds as one of your station should be,” she continued. “I am not here to judge you, only to correct an oversight. For instance, do you know about alphas and betas?”

Thomas shook his head.

“Oh dear,” Sun Dancer said to herself. “You there. Moonlight Shield.” The unicorn in question stood at attention. “I remember your father, Morning Glow. He has a herd of his own. Would you care to explain how herds traditionally work, specifically regarding alphas and betas?”

The orange unicorn was caught off guard at suddenly being called upon. However, the look of worry on her ward’s face told her that she was needed and so she walked up to the table. “It’s an old tradition that goes back to early Equestria but I don’t think too many ponies follow it that strictly anymore. This particular tradition has gone a bit out of fashion these last few centuries, but Princess Luna has been away for so long, she probably still adheres to it.” Moonlight quickly glanced to Sun Dancer, but the elder unicorn only nodded for her to continue. “The idea is that the herd is built around the ponies who started the herd. They’re called the alpha mare and alpha stallion, though ‘lead’ is the preferred term these days. The first mare is at the top of the hierarchy, so it’s safe to say that role goes to Princess Luna, right?”

Sun Dancer nodded sagely.

“Right. Well, after the lead mare there’s the second or beta mare and lead stallion. The beta mare technically sits above the lead stallion, but they roughly share the same duties and authority in the house, though the stallion is considered the… I guess the term would be emotional center. He sort of sits at the core of the herd with all the others organized to, well, protect him.”

“That would be you, Sir Thomas,” Sun Dancer added with a soft smile.

“The beta mare and lead stallion manage the household while the lead mare leads,” Moonlight continued. “In my family, my mother, Ornate Shield was the lead mare and my father, as the only male present, was the lead stallion. Then there are the omegas, stallions or mares, who only get as much responsibility as the leads and beta allow them.”

“Yo,” Talon raised her claw from over at the couch.

“But like I said, it’s a really old and rigid tradition that few herds follow these days. It was designed based on ideals that were common back when Equestria was untamed, like how stallions and foals needed to be protected from predators in order to protect the species. At least that’s what I remember from an essay I read in school. We’ll see about finding you a copy later. I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about.”

“Except that this is exactly how a harem works,” Sun Dancer cut in. “Senior Concubine is just a fancy way of saying beta. In fact, if memory serves correctly, you, Sir Thomas, are the first male to hold the title of Senior Concubine in quite some time. However, because the Princesses have legions of staff to manage the affairs of the castle, your job is mostly to manage the harem. You see to their needs and ensure that all are looked after. And when the time comes to expand the harem, it is your duty to break the new concubines in, if you understand my meaning.”

Thomas did, and it was making him very nervous. “E-even the guys?”

Sun Dancer frowned, and then dismissed Moonlight. “Ah yes. Celestia also said that you are bent towards mares. However, from what I understand, Luna has preferred primarily mares in her past harems, so this should not be a problem.”

From what you understand? Just how much has she been prying? Jesus! Is it really that alien for someone to care about privacy? Then again, if she was asked to do this by Celestia, I suppose I can’t really fault her for being thorough. Also, I suppose there is a silver lining in all this. “So, I won’t have to, you know, do that stuff with other guys?”

“No pony will force you to do anything you are uncomfortable with,” Sun Dancer nodded serenely.

Thomas let out a relieved sigh. “That’s nice to hear.”

“There. You see how much happier we all are with open communication?” Sun Dancer beamed.

“Sure,” Thomas said with an appreciative smile.

“Then this confirms another thing Celestia suggested,” she looked down between them and briefly tightened her grip on the human’s smaller hand. “Ponies tend to be very physical in our communication. It’s intimate and, at least for us, much more effective at expressing our emotions more honestly than words, which have a bad habit of slurring or perhaps going unheard. We still speak, of course, but if there is something truly important that needs to be said, then we prefer to do so with our bodies. Do humans prefer verbal communication?”

Suddenly uncomfortable, Thomas attempted to pull his hand free of Sun Dancer’s grip, worried at what his body might be telling her without him even realizing it. But her grip tightened briefly, perhaps a sign that she could hold him if she wanted, only to let him go. Thomas studied his hand a moment, but couldn’t find any signs that the unicorn had done anything to it. He looked up in time to see her still watching him intently, studying him as one would a complex math equation. Then her expression changed. She’d solved the question, but didn’t seem satisfied with the answer. The silence persisted until Thomas realized that it was his turn to speak.

“Y-yeah,” he nodded as he searched his memory for the best way to explain this. “It’s not something we usually think about, but I remember hearing scientist say that humans are mostly audio and visual with how we talk. Words are important, but so is body language. I think touching varies between cultures though.”

“I see,” Sun Dancer nodded. “This is most fascinating, but what about you? Do you prefer words, gestures, or actions?”

“That’s, heh, a surprisingly deep question,” Thomas sighed. “I guess actions speak louder than words, but I’d prefer you not touch without asking, though. In all honesty, I’d prefer the talking.”

“Very well,” Sun Dancer agreed. “Words it is then. Sir Thomas. What do you think are my feelings for Celestia?”

“Say what?”

“I realize we have spoken little, but you have still seen me with Celestia, along with the other concubines. Based on those observations, I would like to know what you think my feelings are for the Princess of the Sun. And I would like you to answer using your own personal experiences as a reference.”

Admiral Ackbar’s missing his cue, cause this couldn’t be more obvious if she had neon lighting. But… what exactly is she trying to get at? Thomas put such suspicions aside and instead focused on the question. She wanted to know what he thought of her feelings, as if this was the sort of thing women asked guys. Then again, maybe it was, but it still felt like she was backing him into a corner by asking him to use his personal experience like that. No matter. He’d go with a safe answer for now. “I’m guessing you like her a lot?”

Sun Dancer could not have looked more disappointed as she shook her head. “Yet again, we have an issue of miscommunication. No, Sir Thomas. I do not like Celestia. I do not even love her as many Equestrians might answer if asked.” She glanced quickly at the mare and griffon over on the couch and quickly lit her horn, materializing a sound-proof barrier around the table and its occupants. “I am, in fact, in love with her,” Sun Dancer’s expression softened at those last few words. “She is my herd-mate, my mare, my beloved.”
Thomas stared wide-eyed at the unicorn, just as shocked by how blatantly she said it as what she said. It wasn’t all that surprising for her to say she loved Celestia, but to refer to her as her herd-mate…

“Is it really that surprising?” Sun Dancer asked nonchalantly. “We have been together for many years. Not only have we shared beds, but our lives. We have confided in one another in ways that are unthinkable outside a relationship less than absolute trust. Were I a mare of high enough station, I might have asked her to marry me. But though the politics of the land prevent such a thing, I am not bothered. A fancy wedding ceremony would be a tedious gesture and would in no way change the love we hold for one another. Am I making myself clear?”

Thomas nodded dumbly along, unable to find the right words.

“Sir Thomas. I will not reveal all, as it is not my place to do so. However, for the time being, Sir Thomas, I will tell you that you are Luna’s herd-mate. Were you royal or nobility, I would call you her husband. But since you are not, you are simply her stallion while she is your mare; such is the traditional form of ponies in loving relationships.”

“L-love…” Thomas barely managed to stammer.

Again, Sun Dancer narrowed her gaze at the human. “Sir Thomas, would you like to rut me?”

“What!?” Thomas shouted, grateful for the sound-proof barrier.

“Forgive me. Perhaps this is another cultural barrier at hoof, but it is a simple enough question. Would you like to rut me?”

Thomas strained to piece together a series of words that best reflected how ridiculous this question was. “Are you seriously asking me to cheat on Luna?”

“Who said anything about cheating?” Sun Dancer pulled back, seemingly offended by his suggestion. She regarded him a moment before her expression softened into one of patience. “Sir Thomas, we are concubines to the Princesses. The rest of Equestria might regard us as merely the pinnacle of whorses and studs, but we are not nearly as open as they might believe. I, myself, have been propositioned more times than I care to count, and I have refused them all. My herd and my Princess would more than understand if I accepted, but those ponies simply weren’t my type, so to speak.” She smiled and laughed to herself.

“What’s so funny?” Thomas asked nervously.

“As you said, these are not the sorts of things a pony normally thinks about. I asked you if you would like to rut me because, as you said, you prefer to be asked before being touched. I intended it as a gesture of comfort, to show that you can trust me. Such a gesture is quite acceptable between herd-mates, which I was hoping you would see us as. However, like I said before, you will not be forced to do something you are not comfortable with.”

“How… how are we herd-mates?”

Sun Dancer rolled her shoulders in contemplation. “Difficult to say. To be honest, having you constantly at the dining table with us just sort of made you feel like a member of the family, if a bit quieter. Still, I have come to like you and was hoping to make that more apparent, in my own way,” she smiled as her eyebrows briefly danced, causing Thomas to recoil just a little. “But never mind all that.” Her horn lit and the barrier came down.

“Sir Thomas?” Moonlight asked as she jogged up to the table.

“Ya alright chimp?”

“Yeah,” he exhaled. “Just… a lot to take in.”

“Sir Thomas,” Sun Dancer began as she stood to her full height. “While normally I would assume this would go without saying, I feel I must remind you that the nature of your position requires a considerable amount of discretion. You would do well not to speak of these matters outside of those you know are already familiar with them, such as myself, the Princesses, or any we approve of. Do you understand?”

“Yeah,” Thomas nodded, not missing the briefly intensified look the unicorn gave him.

“I have not told you everything, as it is not my place to do so. You are, after all, Luna’s concubine,” she smiled and bent forward until they were at eye level. “But on that note, I have one more request I wish to ask of you.”

Thomas gulped, wondering how much of a choice in the matter he had. “S-sure. What is it?”

Quickly Sun Dancer leaned forward and gave him a swift peck on the lips. “Tell Luna.”

“Tell her… what?”

Sun Dancer rolled her eyes. “I told you how I feel about Celestia. It only seems fair that you be as honest and open with Luna, don’t you think?”

**********

The trio headed for Moonlight’s room to try to work on her book a bit more, but the creative juices simply weren’t flowing tonight. Instead they opted to spend the remainder of the night in the gym, trying pitifully to make small talk. Moonlight was clearly antsy and wanted to ask what was said after the barrier went up, but common sense and Talon told her that such a question defeated the purpose of such a spell. Talon did her best to keep them all focused on their workout. Then lunch time rolled around and Thomas was summoned.

Thomas was finishing up the last of his hamburger when he smiled up at Luna. “How’d you like them?”

Luna smacked her lips, tasting the remnants of her six burgers. “Actual meat instead of hay is a most inspired idea. We, er, I shall have to partake more often. Thank you for introducing me to this, dearest Thomas. You really are a treat.”

“Love you too.” And there it was. He’d been thinking about it all meal and it just suddenly slipped out as easily as some of his dry jokes. What the hell!? Why would you just blurt it out like that? Oh, shit. Now she’s looking at me.

Luna regarded Thomas for all of a full second, easily one of the longest in his comparatively short life. His mind raced with fear and anxiety as he calculated the possibility of making a break for the door, or perhaps the window; anything to escape whatever terrible thing he knew was coming next. A part of him was screaming about just how badly he’d fucked up. He’d broken the cardinal rule of any job and brought emotions into the work place. Luna was going to laugh at him, he was certain of it. She was going to laugh at the stupid little human for daring to step out of line and think he was any more to her than a fuck buddy.

“Love you too,” Luna said nonchalantly as she took the last bite of her last burger. She closed her eyes to savor the taste.

Thomas just stared up at the alicorn beside him, the negative voice rendered dead silent. I said it. I really just said it. And she said it right back, as if it was so easy. Had it been so easy all along? Was I making a big deal about nothing? Wait… if she said it so easily, does that mean…

“Hmm,” Luna hummed, not in delight from the taste, but in contemplation. “You know, it occurs to me, is this the first time we have said ‘I love you’ to each other?”

“Um,” Thomas hesitated, his anxiety returning as strong as before. “I think so.”

Luna frowned and swallowed the last of her burger. “What a terrible oversight.” She smiled once more and leaned down to give Thomas a kiss on the lips. Then she pulled back and gave a somewhat concerned smile. “I certainly hope this wasn’t a matter of distress for you.”

Thomas felt a lump in his throat. On the one hand, he didn’t want to say anything that might make Luna upset, even if it was in concern for him. But as his mind lingered on what it meant for her to be concerned for him, Luna took his silence for her answer. She then took the matter into her own hands and pulled him into her embrace, his body squishing between her supple mounds as she pressed his face into the crook of her neck.

“Dearest Thomas,” Luna hummed as she nuzzled the side of his head, rubbing her nose tenderly at his cheek and ear. “If you have ever had reason to doubt our feelings for you…” she was unable to answer as Thomas returned the nuzzle, pressing his face firmly into her neck as he wrapped his arms around her. She purred in delight.

Physical communication, huh? Thomas sighed contentedly into Luna’s fur. Guess that makes sense.

As if to emphasize the point, Luna began gently nibbling his ear lobe, viciously assaulting it with her hot breath. Her tongue shot out and gave a prodding lick, which was followed by a delighted hum from the alicorn. “And never doubt just how delectable you taste.”

Thomas pushed himself from the top of Luna’s chest until he was able to meet her eyes. She wanted him, and he suspected she didn’t especially care how. Grinning, Thomas leaned forward and pressed his nose to Luna’s, his lips a teasing few millimeters from hers.

Luna’s glare intensified as her lips curled into a snarl, revealing her pearly whites, some of which had morphed into fangs. “You think you’re cute, don’t you?” the corners of her mouth pulled into a smile.

“It’s come up a few times,” feeling daring as he continued pressing his face into her snout, “my lovely glass of grape juice.”

Luna glided her fingers down his back until they lunged for his rump with a powerful grip, causing him to yelp in surprise. She kneaded his flesh affectionately as she continued to glare down at his challenging eyes. “You are my stallion, dearest Thomas. Remember that.”

Thomas leaned back with a much gentler smile. Surprised at the sudden departure of her human’s playful defiance, Luna blinked and looked at him with mild worry.

“I’m your stallion… does this mean you’re my mare, too?” He looked back at her expectantly.

Luna stole a quick kiss and smiled mischievously. “Only if you claim me as yours, my little love.”

And he did, and in the traditional style of mounting, as was proper within a herd.

**********

Meanwhile, the Princess of the Sun had returned to her room where her lover and trusted friend awaited her. “So, how did it go?”

And there you have it. Luna and Thomas finally said it. Thank god, right? Now let me say outright that is not a cure for depression. Tragically, that stuff never really goes away. However, bandaging the wound does stop the bleeding. Thomas’ anxieties will continue, not to mention the conflict stemming from miscommunication and cultural misunderstandings. Thomas hasn’t even been told everything about what it means to be a concubine yet, but he will. This was a firm, but necessary next step in Thomas’ development. Again, depression continues to eat up at him whenever he gets down, but at least now he is better equipped to come up with a counter argument for that little voice insisting all those bad things.

Celestia chose well when she had Sun Dancer carry out this task. The elderly unicorn could better approach him as an equal and was able to do so with just the right level of bluntness; or at least I thought so.

For reference, the essay Moonlight refers to is basically this http://www.fimfiction.net/story/57315/21/the-xenophiles-guide-to-equestria/herds Xenophilia is an awesome story and I just loved how this particular part of it was written so realistically and professionally. I’ll be using it as a basis, but not strictly holding to it.