Horse People Go Naked
Chapter 167: Chapter 166: Other Ways to Play With Tinies
Previous ChapterLater, back in Luna’s chamber, with Jet taking her post outside the door, Thomas sat naked on the table near the letter Moonlight had written. “You’re kinda making it sound a little too grave.”
“Well, you made it sound as though she were genuinely afraid, so I’m trying to give her appropriate warning,” Moonlight explained.
“Yeah, I get it, but I think you’re going overboard. It kind of feels like you’re making it too scary, which will make her overthink things, and likely scare her more than if we’d just said nothing.”
“Chimp’s got a point,” Talon agreed as she swaggered behind the unicorn and read over her shoulder while sipping tea. “Twiggle strikes me as her own worst enemy, the kind that thinks herself into a corner and probably can’t escape until someone yanks her out. She’s kinda like shorty like that,” she remarked while casually gesturing to Thomas.
“Nail on the head,” Thomas agreed. “Maybe just something like, ‘Hey, the human just shared a recipe for a cheesy new food, but he had a vision that you might not like it, so be careful.’ Ya know, keep it casual.”
Moonlight ponderously hummed as she regarded what she’d written. “Perhaps, but we should still include the part about it being an oracle vision, so she knows it’s serious.”
“I still don’t see how cheese can be scary,” Talon added. “Though, maybe I could figure something out if someone had been considerate enough to save me a piece.”
Thomas smiled and shrugged apologetically. “From the perspective of it being a show, not knowing is kind of the joke. Though, I read one theory that she actually likes them too much, and is afraid of what’s kind of a borderline addiction,” he offered.
“You’re not making me any less upset about missing out,” Talon warned as she sipped her beverage. “Keep trying, or else I might dunk you in my tea just to prove a point.”
“What point?” inquired Thomas.
“The point that you’ve always been cute and fun to push around before, but now that you’re fun-sized, the temptation is greater than ever, and you really ought to watch yourself.”
“Have you ever been shrunk?” Thomas asked the giant woman, unafraid of her carnivorous feline and avian features.
“No, but I’ve played with a few who have. It’s not exactly the most popular kink in ‘Leste’s bedroom.”
“Is that what she told you?” pressed Moonlight.
Talon sipped again. “More or less. I asked for the rundown this night-morning, and it’s mostly done because someone wants to be shrunk, not necessarily because anyone wants to play with a shrinky. There’s only, like, two concubines in ‘Leste’s harem that are really into that one, and the rest of us just kinda go with the flow. It’s a once-in-a-while kind of deal, ya know? But, other than that, there’s not too much more you need to know. Just keep fooling around at your own pace and see what tickles your fancy. What about you, Smarty-corn? Discover something new about yourself recently?”
Moonlight’s face scrunched in deep thought. “It’s too early to tell. Last night was exhilarating, but I’m not sure I’d want to make that a regular thing, whether I’m the shrinky or shrinker. Although, I can’t say I hate being my stallion’s private chariot,” she explained while touching near where her breast met her sternum.
Thomas returned Moonlight’s playful smile with a more mischievous one. “I settle for nothing less than first-class.”
“I think I’m starting to get why humans are so inclined to wear clothes,” Moonlight added while tugging at her bra. She’d discarded the shirt upon returning to the room, but decided to retain the bra in case she needed to carry Thomas some more, and her hands weren’t available. “It’s so much more convenient for mares with smaller teats.”
“I promise that absolutely no one in the human world designed bras with that in mind,” Thomas assured. “They’re more for women with bigger busts, but also for common decency so no one can see your nipples.”
“I like Smarty-corn’s idea better,” Talon added, slurping the last of her beverage before setting the cup aside. “I take it there’s been no word from the doctor yet?”
“I’d have told you if there were,” Moonlight replied, letting her gaze linger on the door as though hoping someone would come through. Although, if she were being honest, she’d probably panic at any medical update before getting the full details.
“So, since the chimp has a medical exemption from his nightly duties, are ya gonna play with him alone for a little bit?” Talon asked, suggestively bouncing her eyebrows.
Moonlight narrowed her eyes in an accusatory glare. “How did I know you were going to say that?”
“Honestly, I’d have probably said the same in her position,” Thomas admitted as his permissive gaze fell upon Moonlight. “It doesn’t have to be anything extreme or even sexy. We could try other things if you want?”
“Such as?” Moonlight inquired, her tone laced with barely subdued anticipation.
“Well, I know what I liked reading about, but that’d be a little too freaky to try in real life. Although, I’ve read some other stuff that other people liked that we can try and see what we think.”
“Always the ambitious one,” Talon said in good cheer.
So, after giving a quick rundown of the premise, Thomas sat in Talon’s claws while she held him above where Moonlight rested on the bed, minus the bra. At the human’s nod, the griffon lowered him to just below the unicorn’s right breast. The great mass rose and fell with the mare’s breathing, as did its twin, capturing Thomas’ attention as he studied the fascinating feminine formations.
“Your feet feel funny,” Moonlight said, trying not to fidget as the tiny soles tickled her ribs. “It’s like tiny little bug legs are crawling on me, or maybe a lizard.” She licked her lips while staring at her breasts’ upper half. “Also, I can’t see you, but I can feel you staring.”
“Excited?” Talon asked as she watched the little man warily approach the breast.
“Nervous, and I’m about to touch it,” Thomas answered.
“Okay,” Moonlight allowed, licking her lips while focusing on keeping her breathing steady.
Thomas reached out with both hands and pressed into the great mound. The expansive wall gave slightly under pressure, but overall retained its shape. He experimented with different levels of pressure against the warm flesh, seeing how far it would compress before bouncing back. “Like the world’s biggest water bed.”
“Hardly the biggest,” Moonlight chuckled, fighting the urge to rub the small spot that so stimulated her. She knew Thomas could feel her heart pounding like crazy in her chest. “And why am I so excited?”
“Firstly, I think I’d be too afraid to do much more with anything bigger, especially with Surprise. That girl’s tits don’t respect the laws of physics, and they might attack me if I push them around too much.”
“Smart move,” Talon agreed with a sage nod as she sat by the mare, angling her body for the best view. “Although, now that I think about it, I’m suddenly super curious to see ‘Leste’s plump rump from down there.”
“And I know I saw them last night, but these things kind of look a lot bigger from this angle, and it’s a little scary just imagining what Luna’s might look like this close,” Thomas explained, continuing his pseudo-massage. “And secondly, because you’re as freaked out as I am by this stupid idea proposed by a horny idiot.”
“Well, you’re so small that I’m worried I might crush you by accident,” Moonlight admitted, feeling the tingling contact shift as Thomas migrated around her breast toward her sternum. “Although, that’s just being rationally nervous. I’m also a little excited, but I don’t think in a sexy way.”
“It doesn’t have to be slapping balls and drooling marehoods twenty-four-seven,” Talon authoritatively lectured. “There are lots of ways to stimulate your lover; a useful little tidbit for concubines that still aren’t much more than rookies.”
Moonlight bit her bottom lip and sharply inhaled through her teeth when Thomas’ trek led him to brush against her other breast while still touching the first. “You were riding in my chest for over an hour, so why did that feel different?”
“Unsteady contact? I was touching the same spot the whole time, so you got used to it, but I keep moving like this,” Thomas proposed. He situated himself between the overwhelming masses, placed his hands to either side, and pushed outward with all his might to pry open an entrance. Alas, he couldn’t even straighten his arms before the boobs rebuked his macho assertions. Though, at least they didn’t smack him. The situation was too ridiculous for the human not to giggle, which the ladies quickly joined.
“How would this work if the situation was reversed?” Moonlight asked while looking at Talon, leaving the question open for Thomas. “Would I be trying to lift a penis even bigger than myself?” The mental image sent a shiver up her spine and a tingle to her loins. “The smell would probably be overwhelming at that size,” she theorized, swallowing some building drool.
“Okay, it just got hotter,” Thomas announced as he examined the landscape. Before him were the looming boob cliffs that radiated with loving warmth, rumbling from the mare’s excited pulse, casting the man in partial shadow, and had a faint yet alluring odor. Behind him were rolling plains. They weren’t quite smooth, as the abbs made for considerable speedbumps, but the land seemingly stretched on for miles, a bent knee forming a truly towering skyscraper in the near distance. However, Thomas’ eyes zeroed in on a spot just before there, where the plains dropped off to somewhere he knew to be even hotter than the boobs.
Mindful that Talon watched him with equal intensity and how Moonlight was just as anxious to know what he planned on next, Thomas ultimately decided to travel north. The space between the boobs would have been impossible to manage if they were made of anything hard, yet the soft flesh still didn’t have quite enough give to make a straightforward walk worth the risk. His pride would not allow him to let himself get stuck and need a rescue. However, just as last night, there was a slender, vaguely triangle-shaped tunnel against the sternum that was barely big enough to fit a person the size of an index finger. With that solid math under his nonexistent belt, Thomas dropped to his belly and army-crawled through the gap.
Moonlight hissed again. “Ngh, y-you’re going so slow!” she whined, finally daring to rub where he’d previously touched to ease the lingering agitation. However, the stimulation between her breasts was far worse. On a teasing scale, her lover’s pace was just slow enough to be slightly more tortuous than appealing. Worse, the unstated rule of the game was that she not interfere unless absolutely necessary, leaving Thomas to unintentionally torment her. Although, now that she’d informed him, it probably wasn’t unintentional anymore.
“Oh yeah?” Thomas grunted, keeping as low to the warm and soft ground as possible as he hefted himself forward. “I’d like to see you do better traveling through boobs.”
“Seconded,” agreed Talon. “All opposed?” After a second’s pause, she smiled at the confused mare and concluded, “That’s two in favor and one abstaining. Motion passes.”
“Can you not?” Moonlight whined again.
“I could, but I ain’t gonna.”
However, before Moonlight could rebuke her friend’s blatant schadenfreude, Thomas emerged from betwixt her cleavage, deeply inhaling the fresh air. The mare had to crane her head a little to the side to look straight down, but she smiled as the mini man pulled himself out and up, brushing himself off before staring intently at the boner he’d acquired along his journey. He then smiled when he met the mare’s gaze.
“Is that for me? You shouldn’t have,” Moonlight tittered.
However, Thomas pursed his lips in deep thought, which he decided to share. “If there’s ever permanent contact with the human world, they’re gonna write about the first human to come to Equestria. I’m technically a trailblazer, and everything I do is basically a first, including being the first human to army-crawl through boobs.” He paused to let this realization sink in. “That could end up in a book someday.”
“Lucky bastard,” Talon grumbled, trying not to snort a laugh.
“It’s not just you, though. Historians will want to know whose boobs you traveled through,” Moonlight added, her gaze squarely focused on the shrunken, but no less tasty piece of stallion meat. “Future generations will remember me as the first—no, the second mare to take a human’s stallionhood up the plot.”
Thomas pinched the bridge of his nose, impressed yet mournful at being outweirded by the orange mare. “I could listen to your randomness forever,” he confessed.
Although she blushed, Moonlight was also incensed. “Random? Excuse me, but I was just following what you said. You’re the random one here.”
“I don’t know,” Talon skeptically cut in. “He’s just standing around, trying to live his best life after suffering from a bizarre magical accident. That’s pretty standard, especially for Canterlot. You’re the one getting off on a shrunken alien playing with your teats while thinking about how strangers will read about you taking it up the plot.”
When Moonlight merely scowled at the wren, Thomas proposed, “This is the part where you say, ‘Well, anything sounds weird when you say it like that.’”
That turned Moonlight’s frown upside-down, but Talon wasn’t finished yet.
“Your stallion stood up in your defense, so you win at life. However, you, a mare in the royal guard, need a shrunken alien to defend you from a prostitute with a fancy title, so you still lose the argument.”
“Chh,” Moonlight hissed, unable to refute such logic.
“Can’t we compromise and say we’re all weirdos?” Thomas asked.
“Speak for yourself, shorty. Except for being a smoking-hot piece of tail that two goddesses fawn over, I’m the only one in this room that can pass for normal,” Talon argued, holding her chin high in pride at her debate skills.
“Well, you…” Thomas trailed off, unable to think of a comeback. “I-I should probably just get back to the whole exploration thing, shouldn’t I?” he admitted in surrender. At Talon’s firm nod, Thomas reversed course in a more vertical pattern, ascending the breast from the less steep upper half. The skin didn’t feel as smooth as when he was regular-sized, meaning the man had enough friction to climb the roughly 45-degree angle with only marginal effort. Then, feeling eyes bore into his back, the man paused at approximately two shrunken arm lengths from the orange mare’s areola, turned around, and found the mare staring intently at his backside, which he wagged while winking.
“In answer to your question, yes, I think I have learned something about myself,” Moonlight admitted, never tearing her eyes from her shrunken mate’s adorable plot.
“Yeah, I figured,” Talon sighed in resignation, crossing her arms to push up her breasts. “Sorry, chimp, but it sounds like you getting cured won’t be the last time you’re like this. You’re just too damn cute for your own good.”
“Oh, woe is me!” Thomas melodramatically bemoaned as he reached a suitably flat resting area on the boob to sit, facing Moonlight. “If only I knew anyone who could understand my pain!” He had to lower his head and cover his face to hide his smile. However, peeking through his fingers confirmed Talon’s accusatory glare.
“I swear, if Moony weren’t here to protect you, I’d lay you over my thigh and, uh, I guess flick your smartass ass until you learned some respect.”
“Says the mentor who continues playing a crucial role in my man’s acclimation to our world,” Moonlight interjected, not even bothering to conceal her triumphant smirk. “He has learned respect. Yours.”
Talon blinked several times before she found the words. “Damn,” she chuckled. “I can’t even be mad at that.” Then, facing Thomas, she added, “Okay, so you’ve learned the right kind of respect. I’ll give ya that. But I’d still spank you on principle.”
“For the record, I’m not really into that,” Thomas said, ensuring both ladies heard.
“Most guys aren’t. It’s mostly a chick thing since we’re the only ones with plots worth spanking,” Talon lectured with the wisdom of the ages.
Moonlight looked offended. “Did you seriously just say that stallion butts are somehow lesser?”
“What? It’s an objective fact,” Talon said with a shrug. “Chicks are the only ones with enough cushion back there to be worth fondling. I’m not saying guy butts aren’t fine, but be honest. If Luna was a stallion, would her plot be half as appealing as a pillow or anything else worth cuddling long-term?”
After a moment of her mouth opening and closing, as she failed to form words, Moonlight snapped to face Thomas. “Well, say something!”
“About what?”
“She’s challenging the appeal of male plots. Defend your sex’s honor and tell her why your butt is just as good as a mare’s.”
Thomas chuckled, looking at the orange mare as though she’d said something absurd, which she did. “Moonlight, I’m a guy who likes girls,” he said as though it were obvious, which it should have been. “Other guys’ butts don’t do it for me, so I have to side with Talon on this one. Luna’s butt is nice and huggable just as it is, on her.”
Moonlight silently fumed before turning her head away.
“Hey, don’t be like that,” Thomas said as he slid down the fleshy hill to the mare’s collarbone and landed with a soft *plap*. He stood and marched to her head. However, before he could descend along her neck, Moonlight adjusted her snoot a bit closer to him, though she kept pouting and averting her gaze. Smiling, Thomas patted the large orange cheek. “I don’t see what the big deal is. If you like guy butts, I’m happy to share mine with you. Hell, I’ll even sit on your face if you want. But just because I’m not into the same thing, doesn’t mean—”
“What about now?” Moonlight cut in, her normal-sized eye like a massive boulder aiming at the miniature human and reminiscent of a scene from a monster movie. “Would you sit on my face now?”
Thomas blinked as his gaze trailed along the mare’s sedan-sized snoot. “Would that even do anything for you?”
“Only one way to find out.” Moonlight plucked the human from her collar area and set him down on the bridge of her equine nose.
The area was roomier than Thomas would have guessed, with his feet able to hang off the sides without getting too close to the mare’s giant eyes. Facing away with most of his view blocked by the elongated snoot, Thomas turned around to stare at his cross-eyed mate. “Uh, how’s this?” he asked as he noticed her cheeks pull up in a grin.
“Hehe, this is funny. Though, could you lean forward a little and lift your butt up?”
“Like this?”
“Ngh, yes, that’s a nice view.”
“Hey, let me see,” Talon cut in, squishing her feathery cheek against Moonlight’s as she endeavored to share the mare’s view. “Hmm, not bad, but could you make it so we can see your package better?”
Shrugging in acquiescence, Thomas obliged and arched his spine while spreading his legs for maximum view of his dangling bits. When the ladies grinned, he took the next step and waved his butt, paying particular attention to his swinging balls. “Sorry, you can’t get the full package. It’s all Moonlight’s fault,” he joked while continuing the awkward dance.
“Good point. Turn around so we can see that, too,” Talon demanded.
Again, Thomas complied, beginning what could only be described as the unholy bastard spawn of a crabwalk and a pole dance. Keeping on his hands and feet, he thrust his hips to make his pecker bobble. The laughing ladies emboldened him to experiment with different moves, shaking this way and that before attempting to rotate his hips. It was stupid and definitely would have been humiliating with any other audience. However, in front of those he called friends, it was difficult for Thomas to not return their grins.
“See, how could you say anything against a butt like that?” Moonlight good-naturedly rebuked while giggling at the goofily erotic display.
“I didn’t, but it’s still just a mere butt, while I’m more into plots,” Talon casually countered. “Then again, this is a pretty nice view. Chimp looks like he’s got more muscle than usual.”
“Seriously?” Thomas questioned in disbelief.
“Yeah. I’d say you’re on the upper end of the average unicorn stallion. A decent amount of muscle from a moderately active lifestyle, even if you sit around more than you should,” Talon explained. “Or maybe the low end of a pegasus. Either way, it’s not much, but there’s some definite muscle definition to show you’re eating healthy. That’s a good sign that you’ve got some fair endurance for mounting your mare.” Talon pulled away from the unicorn just enough to force the mare to look her in the eye. “That’s how you defend guy butts.”
Moonlight pouted, her eyes torn between her mate’s awkward yet alluring dance and her indomitable adversary’s insufferable smirk. “Can’t we just enjoy this special moment without making it an argument or competition?”
“Where’s the fun in that?”
Thomas finally rested, lying on his back atop the snoot, still arching his back a little to stab his butt downward as he stared at the ceiling. “We can do this again.”
“Say what?” Moonlight asked.
“We can do this again. This shrinking was accidental, but we could do it again whenever we want,” Thomas elaborated in melancholy. “Magic lets us do whatever we want, especially with Luna’s dreams. There are literally infinite possibilities.”
“Why don’t you sound happy about that?” Talon inquired.
“I guess it’s a little intimidating. Humans don’t really grasp infinity like that. Sure, even if we’re just talking shows, there’s more stuff than anyone could ever watch in a lifetime, and that’s probably just gotten bigger since I’ve been here, but that’s still a finite amount. Dreams turn seconds into days, and the only limit is my perverted imagination. So, there really is time to try every depraved thing I can think of.”
“He’s worried about overindulging until he’s desensitized,” Moonlight explained.
“Ah,” Talon replied in understanding. “Ya know, there are Dream Walkers that specialize in therapy for that sort of thing.”
Thomas snapped up to attention. “Seriously?”
“Yeah. It’s happened a couple times with some of ‘Leste’s buck buddies. Though, just the non-pony ones. I guess equines are just better wired for nonstop bed rocking. But when it stopped being fun for this one guy, he just had a session with a Dream Walker and woke up the next morning right as rain and rearing to go. He said it was like a massage for the brain, working out all the kinks and making everything feel fresh and new.”
“Huh,” Thomas pondered aloud as he resumed staring at the ceiling.
“Did that not work? Your face is still hard to read sometimes,” Talon inquired.
“I think my face is just naturally not that expressive. Also, that weirdly sounds worse. Having an instant cure for infinite indulgence takes away all consequences, and is just more of an invitation to do something unhealthy.”
“There is just no pleasing some people,” Talon huffed, though her concern was apparent.
Moonlight’s brow furrowed. “You’re really worried about this, aren’t you?”
“Logically, no. I trust that you guys are telling the truth and have protections in place, but I think I’m just in a mood.”
“It was the Smarty-corn’s weird obsession with your butt, wasn’t it?” Talon accused.
“Hey!”
“No, not really. I guess I’m worried about what caused this in the first place,” Thomas said, indicating himself. “We’ve been doing magic stuff all willy-nilly, and it turns out my non-magic body might be having some weird reaction to the stuff. Having a safeguard like therapy just feels like it’s opening the door to problems that probably don’t have treatment, ya know.”
“Those safeguards also include an army of expert doctors, and a squad of mares who love you, including me,” Moonlight reminded. “You’ve got somepony watching you or by your side 24/7, and we won’t let anything happen to you, but that doesn’t make you a burden,” she asserted. “You’d do the same thing if the roles were reversed because you love us, and you hate the idea of us getting hurt, right?”
Thomas huffed a laugh. “Yeah.”
“So, since you’ve got a condition, you’re just gonna have to put up with the treatment of lovely ponies and a tolerable griffon—”
“Oy!”
“—watching out for you. In other words, deal with it,” Moonlight concluded, recalling how her father once lectured her mother for pridefully resenting treatment and hoping the sex reversal applied to human sensibilities.
Thomas chuckled. “Fluttershy had to learn a lesson about how kindness sometimes means tough love,” he reminisced, noting the mare’s expectant expression. “Though, I guess has is the proper tense for what’s coming in the future. Either or, that was a good one,” he said to the mare’s beaming approval before facing Talon. “And you’re not just tolerable. I dare say I almost look forward to seeing you sometimes.”
Talon’s eyes narrowed to dangerous slits. “You realize you’re just digging your own grave, right? The moment you get big again, and I don’t have to worry about hurting you, I’m gonna hurt you.”
“What if I kiss your beak and say you’re my most favoritest griffon in the whooole world?”
“… I’m open to negotiation.” Talon leaned forward until her beak was less than an inch from the miniature man on the mare’s snoot.
As he’d professed, Thomas closed the distance and planted a prolonged peck on the cartilage—nose?—before saying, “I’m glad you’re the first griffon I met. You’ve been a great friend, and I don’t know where I’d be without you.”
Talon pulled away as her beak curled in a feline hiss. “You spend almost half your time moping and needing cheering up, but then you turn it around and throw nice words back at the rest of us. Maybe you should figure out how to use words on yourself and save us all the trouble,” she grumbled while blushing, upset that her intent to commit harm to the human’s bottom seemed less justified.
“If people could just cheer themselves up like that, we wouldn’t be such social animals, and I wouldn’t be currently grinding my butt atop an equally endearing unicorn that I increasingly realize I can’t live without,” Thomas explained matter-of-factly.
“I almost want to start wearing clothes so I can carry you around in my pocket and pull you out whenever I need cheering up,” Moonlight confessed. “A pocket pick-me-up with a bonus penis.”
“Didn’t we just establish that boobs were just as effective for that sort of thing?” Thomas reminded.
Moonlight giggled. “Oh yeah. Never mind, I like things how they are.”