Horse People Go Naked
Chapter 142: Chapter 141: Heat-Addled Mare Aftercare
Previous Chapter Next ChapterFollowing the conclusion to Moonlight’s heat, she and Thomas were in quite the predicament. Luna had given them the next few days off to tend to the after-effects of heat. First and foremost, this included her clinginess with her stallion. So, they lay in bed in their private apartment with Moonlight cuddling up to Thomas. Both had scarcely moved since their morning bathroom routine and ordering breakfast.
“Life alert, I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up,” Thomas faux cried out as a unicorn rested her head on his chest and clung to him like she was afraid he might drift away if she let go.
“Hush, you. This isn’t so bad,” Moonlight argued, heightening her pitch to sound extra feminine and just a little bit petulant. “I know I’m enjoying our intimacy.”
“Well, of course, you are. You’re all cuddled up to a smoking hot piece of man meat, but think about me,” Thomas whined as his fingers glided through Moonlight’s mane and caressed her scalp. When he touched her properly, she rewarded him with a cute ear flick, a moan, or a leg twitch. Naturally, as with any human given even the smallest amount of power, he abused it without remorse. “I’ve got a gorgeous mare laying on top of me and rubbing her naked boobs all over my chest. Have a little sympathy for my plight.”
“Sympathy? This is your fault.” Moonlight shifted up along Thomas’ body so that her snoot was below his chin. “You spent the last few days quenching my heat, and this is the result. You need to take responsibility for my body’s reaction to your… cock,” she finished with a feminine titter. “That’s such a funny word for it.”
Thomas thoughtfully hummed as he stared up at the ceiling and continued stroking her mane. “Hmm, it seems like responsibility ought to come with certain privileges. Like, when you’re old enough to choose your own bedtime, that’s a responsibility and a privilege. If I’m going to spend all day being a pretty mare’s body pillow, I ought to get something out of it, ya know?”
“This is your job. You’re literally paid to let pretty mares have their way with your body,” Moonlight deadpanned as she nuzzled under Thomas’ chin. Their height difference kept her pelvis away from his in this position. However, she still tried to wrap her legs around his to satisfy her possessive craving.
“True, but I’m off the clock, remember. I’m doing this” —Thomas emphasized, gliding his fingers across her smooth and broad back, earning a sound akin to purring—“out of the kindness of my own heart. Aren’t I owed something for that?”
Moonlight grumbled her frustration. “You greedy dragon. You’re completely missing the point of generosity. You do nice things because they’re nice, not so that you’ll get something out of it.”
“Not exactly. You show generosity to others to make their day a little nicer, true. However, you expect them to turn around and be generous to someone else, and so on and so forth. It’s like a domino effect to make the world just the tiniest bit better, and somewhere down the line, your good deeds come back to you to make your day that much better. If you think about it that way, generosity is a high-risk investment where you have no idea if it’ll pay off, but you still hope you’ll at least get karma points out of it. That’s totally greedy.”
Moonlight further tightened her grip around Thomas, removed her muzzled from under his chin, and pressed her lips to his cheek. “I love how your mind works.”
“Seriously?” Thomas chuckled.
“Seriously. I’ve never heard something like that before, but it feels like it makes sense. It’s like a compromise between pony and dragon views. Hehe, I wonder if you could use that to argue for dragons to be a little nicer.”
Thomas popped his lips in consideration. “Aren’t there already some nicer dragons out there? I know there’s Spike, but isn’t there also, like, a dragon neighborhood in Manehatten?”
“Yes, but I think I heard that those dragons are basically outcasts for acting weak and ponish. The way you say it, greed and generosity sound almost the same.” Moonlight snickered. “I wonder what Rarity would think about that.”
Thomas craned his head to look down at the orange mare. “You know Rarity? I don’t think we ever properly met.”
“Well, she’s a celebrity. I know of her. I heard that some ponies are writing books about the Element Bearers and how we should emulate them. She’s bonded to the physical embodiment of generosity, so I bet she’d be interested in this new way of looking at it.”
“Sounds like you’re the one who’s interested,” Thomas said, planting a kiss halfway between her nose and eyes.
“Maybe,” Moonlight hummed and licked his nose. “Or maybe I just want an excuse to hear your voice.”
“Fair enough,” Thomas allowed. “We can just put this on the tab for things you owe me.”
“Ass,” Moonlight chuckled and lightly smacked Thomas’ shoulder.
Thomas nodded. “Right, well, I think Rarity’d agree. She might be generous, but she’s also the greediest of the mane six. She’s always doing things like gem-hunting or looking for other ways to improve her products and business. That’s greedy. At the same time, if she sees someone down on their luck, she’ll literally cut off her tail if she thinks it’ll help. Then again, if she only does that sort of thing when others are watching, that’s extra greedy because she’s only doing it to better her reputation. Although for the time I’m thinking of, I’m pretty sure she’d have done the same anyway. It’s a duality that makes her character interesting.”
“Character?” Moonlight questioned. “Oh, this is an oracle thing, isn’t it?”
***
Meanwhile, at her post just outside her charge’s room, Jet’s ears perked. The mushy banter had almost put her to sleep. However, the mention of opposing philosophies, and now his oracle visions, had rendered her thoroughly awake. She scratched her ear to make sure the listening spell was attuned correctly.
***
Thomas shrugged. “Kinda. The show was a big hit with a surprisingly older demographic. Older people like discussing fan theories, and the smart ones really break things down to get super analytical. I’m probably just talking out of my ass, but I think the idea is that generosity and greed are two halves of the same coin. Rarity wants to be rich and famous, but she also wants to help out others. That’s not new, but what makes her special is that she actually upholds her ideals, at least for the most part.”
“That’s unusual?”
Thomas turned a confused look on Moonlight. “For humans, it is. Lots of us aspire to all kinds of good ideals, but most fall short in the worst ways. Some think that just being part of a religion automatically makes them good, and that they’ve got the freedom to be total buttheads to anyone outside that religion. It gets worse when there’s power involved. No one tries to get rich and expects they’ll turn into total monsters, but a lot of them do. They see how much more successful they are than others, think they’re better than others, and rationalize that they deserve to tell others how to live their lives. Is that really not a pony thing?”
“Well, maybe a little,” Moonlight conceded. “Business ponies who become rich because of their cutie marks are just following their destinies. If a pony has a cutie mark in investing, they make money by telling other ponies what to do with their money. I guess some petty bureaucrats like to stick their noses where they’re not wanted and micromanage ponies’ lives, but I don’t think it’s as bad as what you’re saying.”
Thomas snorted a laugh. “I guess that’s another point for ponies being great.”
“This is spoiling my emotionally vulnerable state,” Moonlight whined. “Ponies have cutie marks, so we’re more prone to competency in whatever trade our cutie mark represents. but we’re also more confined. We generally won’t have the desire or skill for things outside of our cutie mark. My cutie mark is one for protection and guarding valuables. This means that while I can cook alright, I’ll have the natural aptitude of a great cook, or much desire to enter a cooking contest like a pony with a cooking cutie mark would. If humans don’t have magical destinies, then it’s scary and confusing. So you just do whatever you think is best, even if it isn’t.” She clung possessively around Thomas’ torso as she spoke.
“But…”
“No,” Moonlight firmly cut him off. “Just because you have the potential to be bad, that doesn’t make you bad. Since you’ve been here, you’ve made Luna, me, and so many others happy. You’ve shared knowledge that’s made Equestria safer, and you’ve helped pull our long-lost Princess into a happier place. Something evil wouldn’t do that.”
Thomas’ overthinking suggested otherwise. “Technically—”
“No! That’s enough.” Moonlight sealed Thomas’ lips shut with a kiss as she pulled more of her weight atop his body. He could handle it, but she wanted to distract him from these irksome thoughts by crushing him against the mattress. “We’ll talk about your issues with your species later, I promise.” Her tone brokered no argument. “But right now, I need you to say something happy. Help put me in a better headspace so that when my hormones finally calm down, I can help you with your views about your species.” She grinned and added, “How’s that for paying my tab?”
***
Jet assumed that the relative quiet was filled with something sappy, like romantic kissing. At times like these, she wished she were a unicorn to magically take notes, but no matter. She trusted her memory well enough, and this was undoubtedly a memorable conversation. It all but confirmed some of the things that Firestorm had theorized, but also reinforced some of her theories. Jet firmly disagreed with Moonlight. On his own, Thomas might be harmless and even well-meaning, but that potential to do harm couldn’t be ignored. As unlikely as it was, if they achieved further contact with the human world, this aspect of their nature would have to be considered. However, she doubted this revelation was enough to convince her superiors to change their current plans. For now, all she could do was continue keeping her eyes and ears open.
***
“I mean it,” Moonlight firmly added, though still sounding like a petulant child throwing a low-key tantrum. “As soon as I’m better, we’re gonna talk about this.”
“Sure,” Thomas allowed, stroking her mane until she calmed. “Something happy, huh? Well, how about something cool. Do you know what a dinosaur is?”
“I think so. They’re like the horses of dragons. They look similar but are just animals. I think they’re all dead, except for an island reserve. Why?”
“Well, something interesting happens when dead things decompose over millions of years. If a dinosaur fell into something like a tar pit, it preserves the bones, which we put back together in museums. But if they die normally, there’s an interesting chemical reaction,” Thomas explained with a boyish grin. “They turn into this stuff called oil, which can be refined into fuel. You know all those magical lights that light up the night? Well, humans have that too, but we fuel it with things like oil. Humans light our cities, heat our homes, and even fly in the sky using the bones of ancient titans.”
Moonlight went bug-eyed. “Whoooa! That’s incredible.”
Thomas beamed. “Sure is.”
“Whole cities…”
“Countries,” Thomas corrected. “Countries across continents.”
“Humans must be incredible alchemists,” Moonlight awed.
“I might be wrong, but I think it’s only called alchemy if there’s magic involved. We just call it chemistry. Petroleum engineers make good money, though.”
“Wait, this is like from those dreams. I remember. Cars run on gas, right?”
“Yup. Gas fuels cars, lights, and just about everything. We use other things, but it’s mostly gas. You want me to tell you about nuclear power?”
Moonlight rapidly nodded.
“You sure? It’s pretty much the most powerful thing humans have any kind of control over, but I basically know nothing about it. I can give you a half-assed description, at best.”
“Don’t care. I’m hooked. Tell me!” Moonlight urgently demanded.
***
As Thomas gave his so-called half-assed description, Jet counted her blessings that she’d already emptied her bladder. The CEI and its rivals relentlessly hunted artifacts and individuals that wielded even a fraction of the power he described. Most of the time, heroes sprung up to either vanquish the power or repurpose it into something benign and beneficial to the masses. In either case, those powers were never as widespread as the picture Thomas painted. And the weapons… He grew evasive at that part, but Jet remembered Firestorm’s instructions to listen to what Thomas didn’t say. This would undoubtedly color any hypothetical relations with the human world. If there was even a hint of war, Jet hoped that her superiors would have the wisdom to cease all contact and close all portals immediately. Equestria’s martial might was nothing to scoff at, but this sounded like a war that no pony could win. While she didn’t know what these weapons of Thomas’ world were capable of, her gut feeling gave doubt as to even their survival as a species, much less their culture as they currently knew it.
***
Meanwhile, Moonlight was more spellbound by Thomas’ words. Smokestacks with the volume of skyscrapers sounded wondrous. Unlike coal plants, these belched up great plumes of steam from the water constantly pouring atop the eternally heating process. Moonlight was no scholar, but her unicorn instincts still demanded that she understand this process. Atom splitting and radiation; these things sounded so much like science fiction, yet were so mundane for humans that their leaders constantly debated how to use them. The question of ‘if’ had long passed. Even imagining all that heat was turning her on, but she bit her bottom lip to stifle the tingle. Common sense dictated that mares needed to take a break a couple of days following heat, or else suffer soreness as they’ve never imagined. “C-can we talk about something else?” she strained to ask. “Something… less intense?”
Thomas grinned impishly. “Why? Is heat that matches the sun too… hot to talk about?” he teased. “All those great big rods, burning so hot they glow and constantly drenched in water just to keep them bearable. Does that make you uncomfortable?”
Moonlight growled through gritted teeth. “Luna told you. I know she did! So stop toying with my emotions.”
“Stop being so cute, and I’ll think about it,” Thomas taunted, still stroking her mane. Her mewling whine was adorable, especially when she squirmed against his body. He felt the building heat in her loins and broadened his grin. “See, this is what happens when you give humans power. We just can’t help ourselves.”
“You monster,” Moonlight whimpered, fighting the urge to start humping his side. “You’d better stop if you know what’s good for you.”
“Complain all you want. Nothing’s gonna happen anyway. In case you forgot, I’m spent. I didn’t even have any morning wood for you to play with.”
“As soon as I recover, that’s something you’ll owe me. Now, say something to calm me down before I lose it!”
“Would it help if I called you cute?”
“Explain…”
“Well, I noticed that your nose is a little small compared to other mares. Everyone knows that small things are cute. Therefore, you have a cute nose.”
Moonlight seethed atop her mate. “Okay, that doesn’t help. Compliments like that make me happy, not calm. Say something else.”
“There was this cartoon I once saw. These two girls had really big butts. A third girl with a smaller butt tried to bounce a quarter off one of them, only for it to come back so hard that it knocked her back. Then someone did the same, but put the other big-butted girl in the way. The coin bounced so fast that it achieved light speed and disappeared.”
Moonlight snorted a laugh. “Better, but that just makes me want to see if that’s possible. Luna and Celestia?”
“I think they’d be insulted if we didn’t include them. Oh, maybe we can do a tournament. Get all the best butts in Canterlot to… No, that’s silly. Who’d want to see a butt tournament, anyway?”
“I would,” Moonlight deadpanned. “I’d pay good money to see that, especially if the Princesses were competing.”
“Hmm, but we’ve got three Princesses. Think there’s a way to bounce one coin between three butts, or would we have to get extras?”
“Okay, now you’re talking crazy. Prime numbers and geometric shapes are powerful magical instruments. If you made a magically charged triangle between three alicorn butts, who knows what could happen.”
Thomas waited a moment to ask. “I don’t know, what?”
“That’s what we need to find out!” Moonlight exclaimed and sat up, flinging the covers from her body. “We need to find the Princesses and—” Though the room was comfortably heated, the chill of her lover’s absence still stung, so she cuddled back into place. “Dammit, Thomas. You’re terrible at calming mares,” she chided as she levitated his hand back onto her head.
“In my defense, you’re still cute, so I’m not really trying,” he chuckled. “You’re like a needy puppy begging for pets.”
Moonlight growled in her frustration. “Tell me a story.”
“Sure, what kind?”
“I don’t know. Something fun yet calming. It should be exciting, but not too exciting. Also, can there be romance?”
Thomas gave Moonlight a soft wtf look. “Romance, really?”
“Grr, stop listening to what I say and do what I waaant,” Moonlight pouted.
Thomas laughed and playfully flicked the mare’s ear. His inner cynic said that Moonlight was just putting on a show, pretending to be vulnerable to make him feel useful. That notion didn’t seem so bad. After the last few days, he’d seen and heard the sincerity in his mares’ demands. They’d genuinely needed him, and he’d been all too happy to satisfy that need. It was satisfying on his end, too. And if some of that vulnerability was still lingering, or if she was just putting up a front like some sort of game, then he had no issue playing along. Needy Moonlight was cute, and cute things deserved a little pampering now and then.
“Alright, how about the story of some twins who spend the summer with their con artist great uncle out in the middle of nowhere, only to discover all sorts of wild and weird mysteries that make the town more than it seems?”
Moonlight hummed her contemplation. “I question the human definition of weirdness. You still think magic is something special,” she condescended.
“There’s a pyramid-shaped demon who wears a top hat. He ripped the teeth out of a deer and created a disembodied head that constantly screams.”
Moonlight blinked. “Why…?”
“Because he could. Plus, he likes randomly freaking people out.”
“Okay, bring it on… Wait, is there romance?”
“The twins are hormonal preteens spending the summer away from home and surrounded by all kinds of crazy characters. I’m pretty sure crushes are unavoidable.”
Moonlight snorted. “Very well, continue.”
So, Thomas recounted one of his favorite cartoons from the early 2010s. He wasn’t under the memory spell, but he’d watched and re-watched the episodes enough to recall the important parts. The intro went relatively standard. “‘Yes, definitely, absolutely?’ The boy looks around, real confused about what this is. Meanwhile, Mabel’s watching from behind the counter, I think. She says, ‘I rigged it,’ and seems pretty proud of herself, too.”
“I like her. I’d have probably checked yes if she’d given me a note at that age.”
“But this is anonymous. He’s got no idea where the note came from.”
Moonlight pouted. “So he refuses? That’s so sad.”
“Not really. That’s when her brother says that she’s going through a boy-crazy phase, but she’s overdoing it on the crazy part.”
Moonlight scoffed. “What does he know? She’s a filly in love. She can’t help what her heart yearns for. He’d know that if he just tried to see the bright side of things like her.”
“Don’t worry. We’re getting there. Anyway, you’re right that she’s keeping positive. She says that this is their chance to have an epic summer romance. But Dipper is annoyed that she flirts with every guy she meets. Then there’s this montage of her being awkward and a little aggressive with a bunch of guys. She tries flirting, but pushes the guy too hard and awkwardly laughs. Next, she tried bonding over a fake shared love of turtles. That went about as well as expected. And then she stalked this one teen trying to sell mattresses and freaked him out when she said, ‘Take me with you.’ The guy ran away.”
Moonlight puttered her lips. “Colts at that age are so silly. What she ought to do is find another filly. They can practice being less awkward together. Plus, colts are more likely to say yes if multiple fillies ask. A filly asking on her own is brave, but groups are more appealing. Even at that age, when lots of foals aren’t too sure if they even like romance yet, a partially-formed herd is still attractive.”
Thomas paused to consider her idea. “Ya know, I’ve been thinking about that.”
“About what?”
“The harem likes these stories, so maybe other ponies would, too. But when humans tried to send stuff like this to other countries, there can sometimes be censorship issues. Something might happen in the story that is deemed inappropriate in certain countries, or maybe the broadcasters think their audience won’t understand, so they make edits to localize it. There’s no footage of these shows, except for what’s in my head. If I said that this world follows Equestrian norms instead of human ones, no one could argue. Would that change make it more acceptable for local audiences, or would it spoil what made the original great? Cuz sometimes, some ideas really are so alien that audiences just don’t get it.”
“Even between humans?”
“Sometimes. Like, I heard about this one case where a woman tried to tell the story of Hamlet to some African tribesmen. The woman considered Hamlet a universal classic, but the tribesmen just didn’t get it. When Hamlet gets upset that his uncle married his mother after his dad died, the tribesmen were confused because that’s the moral thing to do in their culture. Stuff like that happened throughout the telling. Basically, cultural boundaries are a bitch to navigate.”
Moonlight lightly chuckled and once more nuzzled under Thomas’ chin. “What do you think would be best?”
“Honestly, I have no idea. Both ways have merits and risks. How about we finish this episode and see what we think is best?”
“Yes, that! Mabel was just telling about her last few failed attempts, but she’s not discouraged, right?”
“Nope. She’s pretty hard to keep down.” Thomas grinned. “In fact, she’s so confident that she declares that the next guy to come through a door could be the man of her dreams.”
Moonlight’s enthusiasm fell. “This is a setup, isn’t it?”
Thomas nodded. “Grunkle Stan comes in with gross stubble and clenching his stomach from some painful indigestion. Mabel goes, ‘Oh, why?’ and Dipper’s laughing his butt off.”
Moonlight snickered. “Okay, that was a good setup.”
“You’re learning,” Thomas remarked. “Anyway, that’s when Stan asks someone to go hang up signs in the spooky part of the forest.”
“He actually calls it that?”
“He does. There’s a lot of humor like that in this story. Anyway, this is when we get introduced to the rest of the staff at the Mystery Shack. There’s Soos. He’s a handyman, kinda shaped like a pear, late twenties to early thirties, and he’s got beaver teeth. He’s not the smartest, but he’s reliable and fun to hang out with. Then there’s Wendy. She’s a ginger with long red hair, and her first appearance is a slacker teen as she’s reclining with her boots on the counter as she’s reading a magazine. She can’t even be bothered to move from that spot to reach something on the counter.”
Moonlight huffed. “I don’t like her. Soos sounds nice, but you make Wendy sound like somebody,” she forced herself to say, “who needs a good kick in the rear to straighten up.”
“You could certainly make that argument,” Thomas allowed. “But everybody gets some character development, so we’ll see how you feel in a few episodes. Anyway, Stan says that he’d fire them all if he could, but gives the job to Dipper. He’s reluctant because he feels like he’s being watched in those woods, but Stan is dismissive. He says that local legends about monsters are made up by guys like him to sell stuff to guys like that. And he points at an idiot who’s playing with a bobblehead and having far more fun than anyone ought to.”
Moonlight giggled.
“So, Dipper does as he’s told and starts nailing signs to random trees. He’s grumbling that no one believes him and is pretty much resigned to a boring summer. Oh, and the atmosphere has gotten super ominous. The sky’s cloudy, and an eerie wind is blowing. It’s the perfect time for something spooky.” Thomas reveled in Moonlight’s hypnotized gaze. Whether it was the stories or how he told them, these mares really got a kick out of listening to him.
“Dipper’s getting ready to put another nail in, except he hears a metallic clang. Curious, he taps the tree with a hammer. Turns out it’s fake. The inside is hollow, with some old-timey machine. We’re talking, like, forty years old and covered in dust. He starts fiddling with it, and a trapdoor opens behind him. Inside is a book caked in dust. The cover has a six-fingered hand with the number three. Dipper starts reading. The author’s name has been ripped out, but this was one of his journals he used to catalog the strangeness in and around this town. He flips through several pages to see all kinds of strange things, and then arrives on a spooky message. The author writes that he’s being watched, that he needs to hide this book before he finds it, and then in big, bold writing says ‘TRUST NO ONE.’ Cue ominous music, followed immediately by Mabel popping up and shouting ‘Hello!’”
Moonlight giggled. “She’s definitely my favorite.”
“She’s most people’s favorite. In fact, I think I heard that the creator almost didn’t make the show if he couldn’t get Mabel’s voice actor onboard.”
“Well, that settles one thing. You’re showing me this story the next time we dream with Luna,” Moonlight avowed.
Thomas went on to describe the rest of the episode. Mabel’s new boyfriend, Dipper’s paranoid suspicions, Dipper’s justified suspicions, the big reveal of the gnomes, the climactic chase, and the final mystery at the end. Moonlight remained enthralled and kept her commentary to a minimum throughout most of the remaining telling, but her relative silence ended after the vending machine.
“Wow, I have so many questions. Who wrote the journals? Who was he running from? It is a he, isn’t it? And what’s Stan up to? Wait, machines…” She trailed off in thought. “The journal was hidden behind a machine, and now Stan is doing something behind a machine. Are they connected?”
Thomas chuckled. “In order. Not revealed for another thirty episodes, not revealed for another twenty episodes, yes, he’s a guy, and there’s definitely a connection. Remember what I said about fans being super analytical? Well, that was part of the fun for the show’s original run. These little clues are planted all over the place. It’s very blink-and-you-miss-it. Every episode ends with a backward message and a brief flash of a symbol with all sorts of odd yet familiar shapes along the outer ring, like a pine tree and a shooting star.” Thomas motioned for Moonlight to think about it.
“Oh, Dipper’s hat and Mabel’s sweater! What are the other shapes?”
“I guess you’re right,” Thomas chuckled. Then, at Moonlight’s confusion, he elaborated, “I’m terrible at calming mares down.”
Moonlight’s pout returned with a vengeance. “Okay, so calming might not be the best word. At least, you’re distracting… Wait, no, that sounds rude.”
“Maybe you’re just very distractible,” Thomas offered, earning a tail whip to the hip. “Ow!”
“Serves you right for toying with a vulnerable mare’s feelings.”
“Oh, yeah? Well, take this!” Thomas stabbed his fingers beneath Moonlight’s armpits and mercilessly tickled the so-called vulnerable mare. They thrashed around atop the mattress, entangling with the sheets and repeatedly tripping over each other. The battle was brutal and harrowing. Moonlight initially had the advantage from her lower position, but Thomas was a slippery one and used the blankets to entrap her hands, blocking her attacks while hampering her defense. Their war went on for ages, so long that both sides forgot why they’d started fighting in the first place. Then, maybe five minutes later, Moonlight’s stomach growled.
She blushed. “Oops, I guess I worked up an appetite.”
“Yeah, I could eat,” Thomas allowed. “Oatmeal?”
“We already had breakfast.”
“Right, that’s a good argument. Um… pancakes?”
Moonlight giggled and, with a bit of help from Thomas to disentangle herself, kissed the corner of his lips. “Don’t ever change.”
“I don’t know. I’m pretty sure I’ve been changing non-stop since I got to this wacky place.”
Moonlight frowned and blew in his face. “Even when you’re being an ass, you’re still cute. At least keep that part.”
Thomas saluted and said, “No promises.”