They took a taxi from the castle so as to keep a low profile. The night air was warm enough, but there were complications that the human did not foresee, yet still found rather amusing as he eyed the pony sized gym bag.

“Something the matter?”

Thomas looked up and met the mare’s eyes. “I get the towels, but how come you’ve got a change of clothes, too?”

Blue Sapphire’s face scrunched in cute puzzlement.

“I get me, obviously. I might be used to going around in what’s basically underwear all the time, but I’ll need a change so I can dry. Why exactly do you need a swimsuit and a change of clothes?”

Blue tilted her head, causing her ears to flop adorably, which may or may not have been deliberate. “I don’t see what the problem is. This may be my first trip to a public pool, but my research shows this to be perfectly in line with social norms.”

He gestured at the mare sitting across from him, motioning desperately for her to see the source of his befuddlement. When it became apparent that she would not, he gave a defeated groan and declared, “But you’re naked right now!”

Blue looked down to confirm that, indeed, she was butt naked. The taxi must have hit a pothole or something, because the resultant jostle caused her ample bosom to bounce most excellently. “Yes. But I’m not sure I get the problem. I thought you were more comfortable when others wore clothes. That’s why I picked the pool. It is one of the only instances where all ponies gathered are wearing something to cover their,” she smirked, rolled her shoulders, and gave the human a saucy wink, “naughty bits.”

Thomas made a motion like he wanted to strangle the mare; not like his hand would fit around her neck, anyway. Blue took further amusement at his frustration, which caused his ire to build. “But… why? Why wear swimsuits at all if you’re naked all the time?”

Blue hummed thoughtfully. “Honestly, I had never put much thought into it. Mostly ponies only dress up for formal occasions, yet swimming is viewed as a casual affair. Hmm.”

“So you agree that it’s weird, right?”

“Not to me. I might be a few centuries out of touch, but this is still the world I grew up in. Although I suppose I can admit that there’s an inconsistency.”

“See! Yeah!” Thomas exclaimed, his tone filled with validation. “You’ve got fur, so it kinda makes sense that you don’t have the same problem with nudity because clothes were never as essential for ponies. Wearing clothes only for fancy occasions also makes sense ‘cause it looks nice. Same for coats in the winter, but I just want to know why you guys have swimsuits at all!”

Blue sat back in her seat, arms folded beneath her breasts as she stared down at the taxi floor, brow heavy with contemplation. “This custom was before my time, so I’m afraid I can’t say for certain. But if memory serves, I believe the pegasi might be responsible.”

Thomas leaned forward, curious to hear more.

“Damp wings make for poor flying. So the pre-Exodus pegasi warriors held trials of courage wherein the goal was to dive into the water with such speed that they could ascend before their wings became too wet. I’m sorry for not remembering all the details. The practice largely died out following the Exodus. Although, I believe it was the pegasus participants who wore special water-proof garbs to distinguish their feats. Or it might have been rescue ponies waiting on the sidelines to retrieve any pegasus who failed the test. I’d have to research it. However, following the Exodus and the attempts towards coexistence between the tribes, I think we can see where a bit of cultural exchange took place. Thusly, while the challenge fell out of practice, the wearing of special suits only for swimming held fast.”

Thomas sighed heavily and fell back into his seat. He looked unusually satisfied, as though he’d just accomplished some extraordinary feat on par with the daring pegasi of old. “Okay,” he exhaled in relief. “At least there’s a reason.”

Just then, the taxi came to a halt. The pair disembarked; Thomas in a pair of plain shorts with his loincloth underneath, and Blue in her birthday suit. They paid the taxi and looked upon their destination. The public pool was nothing special, as far as Thomas could see. The facility was open air and surrounded by a metal fence. A stream of guests flowed in and out from a rotating door directly behind a toll booth. Presumably there were measures to keep flying or teleporting ponies out, but none that the human could see.

Getting in line, Thomas continued to see nothing especially out of the ordinary; or at least from his skewed interpretation of ordinary. Most ponies in line wore swimsuits. Others were naked and carried bags similar to the one in Blue’s hand; although he doubted any of the other bags carried any spare pony clothes. Also ordinary was how most ponies were chatting with one another. Thomas was pretty sure he could distinguish family groups, dates, or just individuals looking to get wet in a totally nonsexual manner.

The mare directly in front of Thomas turned around, careful to keep her wings tucked in so as not to accidentally whack him. “Hello there, sweetie. How are you doing?”

Having not expected to engage with a stranger, Thomas froze momentarily. Conversations with others in line was a somewhat foreign experience to the socially awkward introvert. After a second, he found his voice. “Eh. Well enough, I guess.”

The mare smiled sweetly and then looked up to the mare behind him. “Your son’s quite the cutie.”

Blue tensed and felt an unusual knot in her guts. Her forced smile was kept steady and it took considerable effort not to scream. This mare had just said something terribly, horribly wrong. It was a funny kind of wrong. After all, anypony who didn’t keep up with castle gossip could be forgiven for not recognizing Thomas. He’d just be a foal to their eyes. And given that the mare behind him was probably giving off involuntary defensive cues, it was understandable how a stranger could mistake this for maternal behavior. However, as understandable as this mistake was, Blue also found it to be oddly unforgivable.

This mare, this no pony stranger had completely misjudged her relationship with Thomas. He might have been as cute as a colt, but he wasn’t. He was a full grown stallion, her stallion, and Blue felt just a little bit insulted that this wasn’t obvious. This never happened back when she was Luna and he wore his loincloth. Then, even a cursory glance would have told anypony exactly what he was and how their relationship worked. Well, maybe not exactly, but close enough that this mistake never would have happened.

Blue’s first instinct was to scream at the mare for making such a terrible, embarrassing mistake, but that would have just made things even more awkward for all involved. So instead she did the responsible thing and set a hand on the young man’s shoulder. “I’m sorry,” she said with convincing respect. “Thomas may look young, but he’s actually an adult and my mate.” The last word was spoken with a degree of pride that surprised even Blue. Thomas was her mate, and it felt good to say. And having said it, she stared at the unknown mare with anxious anticipation. She wondered how this stranger might react, if she’d be so embarrassed that she’d turn around and cease talking entirely. That, Blue reasoned with a degree of shame, would have felt like a victory.

Thomas, oblivious to Blue’s inner turmoil, just smiled flatly and waited to see what happened next.

“Oh my. I’m terribly sorry,” she said down to Thomas. “I didn’t mean to embarrass you.”

He shrugged. “Eh. I’m kind of used to it by this point.”

Thomas’ words troubled Blue. She’d known all along that these kinds of misunderstandings sometimes happened, but this one troubled her for reasons she’d yet to fathom. She’d heard about the incident in the zoo and felt immense satisfaction upon learning that the pony responsible had received her comeuppance. Other incidents were smaller, and barely a footnote in whatever else happened in her man’s daily life; at least that was how he presented things. That thing at Ink Con, while upsetting, didn’t seem to count because it was a pony feeling entitled to the fandom rather than disrespecting Thomas for not looking pony enough.

“Still, I’m so embarrassed. Here.” The strange mare extended her hand. “My name’s Sweet Whistle.”

Wanting to reward good behavior, much as he hated touching a stranger, Thomas mirrored the motion. “Thomas. Nice to meet you.” Her hand was soft and her grip seemed purposefully gentle.

Sweet released his hand and motioned to Blue, who also shook.

“Blue Sapphire. A pleasure.”

“Something wrong?” The unicorn stallion ahead of Sweet turned around and poked his head over her shoulder. Neither of them was wearing swimsuits.

Taking advantage of the distraction, Thomas wiped his hand on his shorts. He didn’t want to seem rude, but she was still a stranger.

“Oh, nothing sweetie. I’m just busy making a fool of myself.”

The stallion smiled in good humor. “Well don’t forget to pace yourself. The night’s just started.” Then came a smack. Sweet yelped, and then blushed.

“Honey! Not in front of strangerrrs,” she whined.

“What? It’s not my fault I can’t keep my hands off my favorite mare in the world.”

Thankfully, before things got any more mushy, the line had moved along. The lovey-dovey pair ran after a pair of foals into the pool area, leaving Thomas next in line for the booth.

“Wait.” Blue started fishing around her bag and pulled out a pair of tickets, along with a paper. “I contacted the pool earlier. They said I needed to show these.”

Thomas watched the materials being handed over. The top of the paper read ‘Swimming Certification.’

The stallion at the booth read the paper, examining it with the diligence of a part timer counting down the minutes until his shift’s end. When he was satisfied, he returned the tickets and the paper, which Blue stashed back in her bag. He motioned them to enter, and they did.

“Swimming Certification?” Thomas asked.

“Attentive Eye thought it necessary,” Blue explained somewhat defensively. “In case anypony asks, you’re a legal adult and perfectly capable of swimming.” Originally she thought her assistant was just being paranoid, but now she was glad for the precaution.

Thomas huffed his acceptance and turned to look at the pool. Again, everything seemed standard. All along the pool’s pavement were chairs for ponies to rest. About a third of them were filled, and mostly by ponies who were completely naked. Thomas took this to mean that they had no intention of swimming. Every so often there was a tower with a lifeguard with a whistle and a red swimsuit sitting atop. Lamps lit up along the fence and beneath the water, combining their lights to give a convincing impression of daytime. To his immediate left was the kiddy pool; so distinguished by all of the screaming foals and only a couple of adults wading through the shallow water. The main pool was a ways ahead with dividers separating the different depths and some diving boards at what was presumably the deepest end. To the right were the changing rooms.

The pair headed inside. Most ponies of every age and sex were content to change in the relative open, but Thomas hurried to grab a stall, which also doubled as a shower. He was alone, probably because Blue didn’t want to crowd him in the confined space. After a second’s delay, she slid the bag under the stall door and he changed. After stepping back out, Thomas beheld the sight of Blue in a white one piece that stood in stark contrast to her dark blue fur. It was more of a bikini top with a thin strip of material looping down between her legs and coming up the other side. The suit was scanty at best, leaving very little to the imagination, and probably susceptible to wedgies.

Blue wore a look that said she knew exactly how sexy she was. Her smile was sultry and her eyelids batted invitingly at the young man. Hands on her waist, she angled her body and gave her hips a roll, drawing attention to her cutie mark. This earned her a few wolf whistles and other sounds of appreciation from the mares and stallions in the room. Shallow as it might be, she felt quite pleased at having her body appreciated by these strangers, even if it was only a glamour. It was always nice to be wanted, yet the stallion whose attention she wanted the most had an unreadable expression.

Thomas felt something unusual stir within him. He was upset, indignant as though someone had just insulted him. The mild annoyance from back in the line was nothing compared to this. Although the words to describe this feeling evaded him at the moment, he knew the scantily clad mare before him was at the root of it. Possessively he grabbed her hand and, while mindful to be gentle, pulled her along out of the room.

Blue allowed this to happen. She could have stopped this, and she knew that he knew as well. But she allowed this to play out. At first she didn’t get it. Thomas was never the sort to be pushy or take the lead, at least not in this sense. In studying his body language she observed a hint of irritation. Something was upsetting him. More so, the way he pulled at her had an air of urgency about it. He wanted to get out of here, and in a hurry, but why? She felt his tension ease a little once they got back outside, but his eyes told a different story. He was on alert, surveilling the area for threats. Threats of what nature?

The tightening of his hand told Blue that they were threats against herself, but that was even more baffling. She had guards disguised as civilians hidden amongst the crowd, which he knew about. Between them and her own power, what sort of threat did he hope to stop? It was following this line of reasoning that the mare had an epiphany. Thomas was acting like a mare protecting her herd. Stallions did that too, but, whether he realized it or not, Thomas’ body language seemed closer to that of a mare trying to give a very specific message. He wasn’t warning off physical threats like predators, but threats to the herd’s stability; stallion snatchers and the like. Blue’s heart performed backflips in her chest when it finally dawned on her what was happening.

Thomas, naturally, was oblivious to all of this. He just knew that he didn’t like the way those ponies were leering at and calling to his mare. That word surprised him with how it distinguished itself in his head. She was his. Thinking about it like that made him feel bad. Possessiveness was supposed to be disrespectful, right? He was conscious of how he was stepping closer to her, face scowling at all potential interlopers, which was every oblivious face in sight.

Blue cleared her throat, causing Thomas to whirl around to face her. She’d bent over with her hands on her knees to look him in the eye. She gave a smile full of mirth and amusement, but also gratitude. The look in her eyes was thankful and she gave him a quick peck on the cheek.

Thomas pulled back from the surprise attack. “Uh, what?”

Blue kept smiling. “Were you defending my honor as your mare?”

Her tone was teasing rather than accusatory. She gave no hints of being offended, but Thomas was still a little wary. “I… maybe.” He looked down at the ground, his ire replaced with shame.

Not in the mood to suffer his moodiness, Blue scooped the smaller man up and squeezed him against her. Even through the glamour, she felt how her soft, ample breast flesh threatened to envelope his smaller frame, but she squeezed all the same. She had a goal in mind, which she decided to share. “I’m squeezing the bad feelings out of you.” She was still holding back, but applying just enough pressure to share her feelings. “You were really sweet for looking out for me back there.” Pressing her muzzle into the crook of his neck, she added, “I’m happy you did.”

Thomas allowed Blue to succeed, imagining his negativity being squeezed out like toothpaste. The imaging helped, but not fully. He returned the embrace, but there was more he felt should be said. “Thanks, but I’m also upset that you’re not upset.”

“Human monogamy,” Blue sighed. “I’m sorry for not being sympathetic.”

Thomas grimaced. “And I’m sorry for still having all these stupid hang-ups.”

“Don’t be.” Blue pulled away to look him in the eye. “These are the norms of your culture. They’re a part of you, part of what shaped you into being you. You can assimilate without forgetting that.”

Thomas didn’t reply with words, but rather tightened his embrace. He knew this already. And while he felt a little bad about his friends feeling the need to walk on eggshells around him, the mare’s warmth assured him that this wasn’t the case this time. It was just a thoughtless moment of cultural misunderstanding. Ponies weren’t susceptible to the same jealousy triggers as humans. To her, there was nothing wrong with being hooted at by strangers she’d likely never see again.

“I still don’t like it,” he eventually said, “but I’m glad that you’re alright.”

“Always.” Pulling away, Blue gave the man’s ear a playful nip as she ended the hug. “Perhaps we should relax before we swim.”

Blue had been referring to the hot tubs, which were hidden behind the changing rooms from the entrance. After they’d put the bag in a locker, they ventured over to the surprisingly empty bubbling pools. Tenderly dipping his toes into the boiling water, Thomas hissed and retreated from the heat. Blue hissed as well, but muscled on to sink the rest of her hoof down. Not to be outdone after his confused display of masculine dominance, Thomas tried again. The water was hot, but not terribly so. It was easy enough to adjust. The pair sunk in deeper and deeper, letting the boiling water and thrumming jets ease them into relaxation. Both gave simultaneous sighs of relief as they finally sat.

Thomas looked to the sign nearest their bubbling pool. “Small ponies only?” And there was a picture of a pegasus silhouette standing next to a significantly larger earth pony silhouette. Well that would explain how he was sitting so comfortably. He then looked around to the other hot tubs and quickly discerned all were proportionately sized to each of the tribes. Looking at Blue, he was about to ask how she could sit in such a relatively shallow pool and be comfortable, only to see that she was on her knees in the middle. “Cheater.”

“At least I have wings, rule breaker,” she countered with a mock sneer. “What’s your excuse?”

Thomas gave this question more consideration than it was due. “Well, after getting distracted by a pair of tits and falling in,” he began conversationally, “I guess I can say I’ve got all these human maladies that you’ve probably never heard of. I left the note at home, but my doctor says I should take hot baths as much as possible.”

Blue tittered and spun around in the pool. Her wings spread wide overhead and water dripped from her feathers. She then dunked them right back in and gave a satisfied sigh.

“What was that?”

“It was a wing thing, if I’m using the modern dialect correctly,” Blue explained.

“What’s that mean?”

“It means… hmm. I suppose there’s a pleasant tingle in spreading one’s wings and letting the water drip from each individual feather.”

“Tingle, right,” interjected a rather harsh female voice.

The soaking pair looked about for whoever would dare intrude on their peaceful moment. Something dropped into the water, making a distinct *plop* sound. Blue pulled away from the unknown dark object and Thomas began to stand. Whatever the thing was, his instincts told him that he wouldn’t like it. When the dark object rose to the water’s surface, it floated. The brown, slightly chunky looking thing floated there with all the buoyancy of a pool toy. Understandably, the man and mare let out cries of alarm as they scrambled out of the now contaminated water.

The voice from before returned, letting out squawking, riotous laughter at the terrible crime she’d just committed. Blue was the first to spy her, flying overhead just below the pool’s height limit for flyers. She was a griffon, curled into a bleating ball of laughter as her wings fought desperately to keep her aloft. Incensed, Blue’s horn lit beneath her glamour, ready to deliver righteous retribution onto this miscreant. Whatever guards were watching them would also suffer for their lapse in vigilance for letting such a hoodlum get so close in the first place. However, as the griffon turned this way and that, Blue’s night vision let her see something that the distraught Thomas had yet to recognize.

“Talon!?”

Thomas blinked and looked between the two ladies. Even with the pool’s lights, he couldn’t get a very good look at the wren hovering just above. But now that he was paying attention, he could definitely hear something familiar. “T-Tali?”

“Bingo!” The wren threw her limbs out wide as if she were in the middle of jumping jacks. She hovered there for a second, presenting her body and zebra striped bikini in all of their glory before tucking her wings in and dropping like a stone. She fell right into the tainted hot tub, her cannon ball sending water splashing all over the place. How she managed this without breaking something was a mystery for the ages. When she surfaced, shaking hundreds of water droplets from her feathery head, she spied the buoyant brown object and, with absolutely no concern for basic hygiene, snatched it in her claw.

Thomas had yet to fully process what had happened as a jumble of emotions stormed inside of him. His initial revulsion at seeing the brown thing was compounded by the sight of the wren grabbing it. This was Talon. She was finally close enough for him to recognize her. He’d have complimented her for making quite the splash – pun absolutely intended – but his adrenaline was still pumping too much for him to think straight. Then, much to his horror, he saw Talon moving the brown thing closer to her beak.

The wren’s maw slowly opened ever wider, the corners of her beak curled up in a sadistic grin. She was aware that she had an audience, and wanted to draw things out before her fun came to an end. Her beak clicked shut, mere millimeters from the brown object as she teased her viewers.

“Talon, no!” Thomas urged. “That’s just gross.”

“Gross?” The wren feigned ignorance as she waved the thing in front of her face. “Sure it’s a little nutty, but I rather like the crunch.”

Catching on that not all was as it seemed, Blue stepped in for a better look. The disgust upon her face fell, pushed aside to make way for surprise and then amusement. The females shared a knowing look before the mare said, “You are truly awful.”

Seeing Blue losing a fight with her own grin, Talon beamed with pride at her accomplishment. And, with an acknowledging nod to the still oblivious human, popped the thing into her mouth and began to chew. Exaggerated moans came from her stuffed beak as her head tossed about in a dramatic display of oral ecstasy.

That’s when it clicked for the human. “That’s a chocolate bar, isn’t it?”

She shrugged. “Don’t know. Want a bite?” She held the remainder of the thing out, shaking it invitingly.

Finally calm enough to think, Thomas let his shoulders slump in defeat. He’d been had. “Okay. That was pretty good.” His admission was followed by approaching and dipping his toes back into the hot tub. Now that he was more lucid, he was aware of the night air’s chill against his bare, wet skin. The boiling water was a welcome relief that he was eager to return to. However, the human had only sunk down to his knee before a clawed hand reached out, grabbed him by the shoulder, and yanked him the rest of the way. His body collided into a wall of feathery, furry fluff while his vision was partially obscured by white. It was like someone had stuffed his face into a feather duster while a pair of fleshy rubbery orbs pressed against his chest. Powerful arms wrapped around his back, urgently squeezing him as the wren gave a soft, contented sigh.

“Hey there, chimp.” Talon’s voice was gentle, yet still emotional. It was the tone of seeing an old friend after an extended absence, which was fitting. One claw pressed to his lower back while the other moved off to the side, still holding the candy bar. “Been a while.”

In following the conditioning he’d received from months of living with touchy-feely ponies, Thomas’ body reacted to the soft fur and strong arms of the female’s embrace by returning it. He couldn’t reach very far from his position, unable to touch his fingers together, but made a note that he could have reached under her armpits. He didn’t, but he could have if he’d wanted to. The man inhaled, taking comfort in the wren’s familiar scent. He simply replied, “Hey,” and savored the feel of his old friend.

Blue turned to the main area of the pool and made eye contact with several ponies she recognized as guards. They were anxiously watching to see if they were needed. No doubt they’d jump about and cause all manner of mayhem if given the order, but Blue instead gave a dismissive wave. They returned to their cover of swimming around, playing ball, and chatting up one another, but never tore their eyes away from their duty for more than a minute. Some had intercepted the lifeguards before they could check on the disturbance, understanding that their charge wanted to be left alone at the moment. She was less angry as she watched them mil about, reasoning that they’d recognized Talon as a friend and that was why she’d been allowed to approach. So she stepped back into the hot tub and resumed her earlier spot. “It’s been a while, Talon.”

“Tell me about it,” the wren huffed tiredly. She relaxed her grip on the human and adjusted herself along the tub’s seat. Thomas was held sitting on her knee while using her arm as a backrest. “Let me tell you, it’s been a crazy kind of month.”

“A month?” Thomas puzzled as he mentally counted the days since he’d last seen one of his first friends since coming to this world. A part of him wanted to lean closer against her body – because it was soft, warm, and so very comfortable – but he still felt a little awkward about his masculinity and didn’t want to give off the wrong signals, whatever those might be. “Has it only been that long?”

Talon shrugged. “Eh. Give or take a week.”

“Where were you? You barely gave us any warning before you just up and left.” Thomas sounded a little hurt. He never liked raising a fuss, but he’d been genuinely missing the crazy feather face.

Talon smiled apologetically. “Aww. Did chimpy wimpy missey me?”

Thomas smiled flatly. “Yes, but now I’m starting to wonder why.”

The wren chuckled. “I was feeling a little restless hanging around the castle all the time, so I asked ‘Leste for a little time off. Stretch my wings and see the world, ya know.” Her hand waved dramatically across the starry night sky as her folded wings shuffled behind her. “It’s a wing thing. You probably wouldn’t get it.”

“Oh yeah? L-I mean Blue was just telling me about wing things.”

“Whatever you’ve heard, it’s all lies!” Talon asserted forcefully. “You can’t trust a thing that feather brain says.”

Blue laughed. “Relax. I only told him about the tingling of water dripping from my feathers.” She fully submerged her wings in the water, lifted them high, and spread them as before, if perhaps a bit bigger. “The dark secrets of the winged fold remain hidden.”

Talon made an understanding sound. “Ah. Good. I’d hate to have to report you to the evil wing conspiracy.”

Blue nodded. “Good. I would hate to be fined again.”

Thomas just sat there, adjusting himself on Talon’s thigh. Apparently this was another ‘wing thing’, so he thought it best to wait for his turn.

“Anyway,” Talon continued, “I was just bumming it for a while. Went to the banks only when I needed food and a place to sleep, but mostly I tried to stay in the outdoors as much as possible and just talk ta folks, ya know. That was pretty much the whole first week. I think I was planning on doing this spiral pattern out away from the castle, rather than go straight for the touristy spots. Then, wouldn’t ya know it, I found myself in Ponyville.”

Blue shifted closer, ears perked at full attention.

“Said hi to Twi, her pet arsonist, and,” she trailed off, “a certain somebody.”

“I wonder who that could be,” Thomas remarked. “It’s not like you ever said you had a thing for big mares, especially not any in that area.”

“With wings,” Talon corrected. “Big mares with wings. Might not have said it at the time, but wings are also a factor. I also might have a preference for lighter colors. No offense,” she directed at Blue, “but I’m pretty sure there are fashion mags agreeing that lighter colors are objectively better.” Her grin was the very picture of shit-eating. “You understand.”

Blue just smiled back, though her eyes narrowed to dangerous slits. Then, pulling off an impressive impression of Mel Blanc, she replied, “Of course you realize this means war.”

Surprised, Thomas laughed like a hissing snake.

Talon looked confused. “I’m not getting it.” She looked between her swimming companions. “Did we move on from wing things to crazy creature things?”

“Bugs Bunny,” Thomas answered. “I can tell you about it back at the castle.”

Talon jostled the little man a bit and shot him a teasing grin. “Oh? Like on a date?”

He thought on it for only a second before replying, “Actually, that sounds pretty good.”

The wren’s grin fell.

“We’re actually doing this dating thing right now where everyone’s pairing off to just do whatever.”

Talon’s expression sunk further. “You’re not as fun to tease anymore.” Her head hung low, weighed heavy by her pouting beak-lips.

Thomas wasn’t sure whether to comfort the wren, or stare in fascination at the seemingly limitless flexibility of what was basically bone. Ultimately he decided on both and dug his fingers into her head feathers. “Sorry for being so agreeable,” he said without a drop of sincerity.

Talon smiled and shouldered him away. “Another reason why I left was ‘cause I wanted to see how you’d do without me, chimp. You’ve gotta admit you’re a little overly dependent on others.”

Thomas nodded his acceptance of her fair criticism.

“And you still are. Don’t get me wrong. But you’ve, I don’t know, it seems like you’ve grown just a little.” She looked him up and down. “Now instead of being blown over by a light breeze, it’ll take a stiff breeze ta knock ya on your ass.”

“That is really sweet of you to say,” Thomas answered after a second’s pause. He kissed her on the corner of her beak and added, “Thank you.”

In her Talon way, the wren then grabbed the man by the back of the head and squished her face against his. Her bafflingly soft and flexible beak gave under the pressure as the two snogged away.

Blue cleared her throat. “I feel very left out right now.”

Smiling proudly, Talon held onto Thomas and moved closer to the mare. A clawed hand wrapped around Blue’s shoulder and pulled her close, leading to a smashing of muzzle against beak. After about five seconds, Talon pulled away with an audible smack. “Stars above, I missed alicorns!”

“Don’t tell me you haven’t said hello to sister, yet?”

“What? ‘Course I did,” Talon huffed indignantly. “First thing I did when I got back to the city was fly straight into Sunbutt’s room and give everybody the pleasure,” she said in mock imitation of an aristocrat, “of my company. I’m just a traditional greedy griffon who likes hoarding all alicorn kisses all to myself.”

Satisfied with this answer, Blue pressed her nose to Talon’s beak in an affectionate nuzzle.

Feeling bold, Thomas did the same and awkwardly forced his nose into the three-way. The world beyond had been completely eclipsed by massive blue and white faces, each dominated by two pairs of happy eyes as their owners smiled. The view was roughly the same for each of them as the three friends laughed at their silliness. Then they pulled away into a more relaxed state within the pool that was far too small for two of them.

“So,” Talon began her interrogation. “You guys went to a public pool, but you’re not swimming?”

“We were getting around to it,” Thomas argued. “But one thing led to another, and an old friend showed up out of nowhere and kind of threw things off.”

Talon scoffed. “Only a jerk friend would step in unannounced like that. Trust me, chimp. If you know what’s good for you, you’ll break up with them.”

“I’m not sure I feel safe doing that,” Thomas admitted.

“Why not?” asked Blue. “Lady Tali’s advice seems sound enough. Why would you want to hold onto an objectively bad friend?”

Talon’s eyes narrowed, giving an ‘I see what you did there’ look.

“Well, I seem to have surrounded myself with all kinds of women who like to assert their bigness by sitting on me,” Thomas explained. “It’s not too bad for most of them, but the jerk friend has,” he paused for dramatic effect, “a bonier butt, which can hurt.”

Incensed, utterly infuriated, Talon retaliated by delivering a swift and devastating pinch to the smaller man’s backside. “Hypocrite!” she hissed. “Like you’re in any position to talk about boney asses.”

“Actually,” Blue said through her feminine tittering, “given his own shortcomings down there,” she gestured, “I would say that he is the most qualified to speak on such matters.” She shook her head with a dramatic flourish, bouncing her mane. Her face was the very definition of smug after delivering a most brutal burn, at least in her mind. “While I, alas,” she craned her neck back to look down over her shoulder and spoke in a forlorn tone, “am truly a novice on the subject.”

“Psst, chimp. Check this out,” Talon said loud enough for both of her pool buddies to hear. She then straightened to a more dignified posture, looking Blue square in the eye. “I fancy myself an experienced lady. I’ve been around the mountain a few times, met all sorts of interesting creatures, also met a few.” Her eyebrows danced suggestively. “The Princesses might fancy themselves experts all locked away in their little towers, but they don’t have the real world experience that I do. ‘Eagle eye’ ain’t an expression for nothing, after all. And, with these expert eyes of mine, I think I’ve cracked the code that’s been stumping philosophers and gossip mongers for generations.” Her head feathers fluffed and her wings spread in a display of domination. “I’ve figured out how to measure the true greatness of plots.”

Thomas saw the look in Blue’s eyes and, in that moment, wanted desperately to be anywhere other than in the line of fire. He knew he’d been pushing things when he called Talon’s butt boney. Butts were an especially sensitive topic here in Equestria, and now it seemed things were only going to escalate. He tried to move, but Talon held him fast. Did she intend to use him as a living shield or something?

“Obviously ‘Leste’s is best. Obviously,” Talon continued. “But in all my travels, especially to Ponyville, I… partook of a good many plots that came pretty damn close.” She made a gesture as if she were sloshing wine in an imaginary glass. “The one they call Fluttershy, Element of Kindness, and embodiment of sweetness. I’d rank her around third or fourth on the list,” she appraised with haughty condescension. “And, given that I’m one of the few to ever partake of two. Whole. Alicorns…”

“Please stop,” Thomas begged. He was ignored.

“By all means,” Blue said through gritted teeth. She was shifting around anxiously in the water, resembling a predator on the verge of pouncing.

This was bad. The griffon was courting death, yet the smug sense of self-satisfaction said that she couldn’t be more pleased.

“I think I can safely say that hrmm!?”

“Nope! Nuh uh.” Thomas clasped the wren’s beak closed with both hands. “We’re not doing that.”

Talon turned an angry avian eye on the ballsy little man. “Hroo vo foo fink voo var!?”

“I’m the guy reminding you that we’re out in public, and surrounded by hard concrete. If you two start fighting, someone’s gonna get hurt, and it’s probably gonna be me, a guard, or even a poor lifeguard just trying to do their job.”

Then, just as Blue was about to say something, smug as can be that her opponent’s attack had been stopped, her words were also cut short.

“Same to you!” Thomas hissed as he struggled to hold his grip. For whatever reason Talon was only trying to shake him loose without using her claws. It was probably meant to be sporting. “There’s a difference between relaxing and causing a scene, you know.”

Blue huffed. “And who are you to say that? Thou art not Our handler.” Her reverting back to old timey speak was probably not a good sign.

Looking over his shoulder as he fought against the griffon, Thomas replied, “Technically, I think I am.” Blue hadn’t expected that, and even Talon ceased her struggling to hear his justification. “Well, uh, I’m supposed to keep you calm, right? Keep your urges in check? That’s the literal interpretation. Well, if you think about it,” he felt so terribly awkward trying to parse out his thoughts into words, “it might not be written down, but it’s the spirit of the law that I keep you from making a scene.”

“That is not actually a law.”

“Whatever! It still applies. I keep all your urges in check, including your bad judgement, to keep you from making a scene in public.”

Both the mare and wren donned thoughtful expressions as they considered his words. Thomas, after a moment’s pause, released his hold of Talon’s beak. She opened it wide to stretch her jaw, clicking it and demonstrating exactly how bad things could have gone if she’d used the sharp parts, but no words were yet forthcoming. A terrible silence persisted, causing knots to grow in the man’s stomach as his mind was allowed to venture into horrifying hypotheticals of how the ladies might react. When Blue finally broke the silence, Thomas released a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.

Awestruck, Blue clapped her hand to her cheek with a mighty *thwak* and proclaimed, “By ME! I think you might be right!”

“Boo,” Talon jeered, although her heart wasn’t in it. “Bad pun. Although yeah, I’m thinking so, too. That’s actually pretty clever, chimp.”

Thomas managed a smile from both relief and amusement. He still had trouble telling if his friends were putting on some kind of show, or if they were naturally this dramatic. “Really?”

“Yeah.” Talon bounced him on her knee. “The real reason alicorns have all these servants is ‘cause they can’t be trusted to look after themselves. They might have minds for politics, but they’d never function in the real world without someone constantly holding their oversized hands and giving their tails a good yank. And as concubines,” she held up a fist as if to make a solemn vow, “we have a responsibility to yank those tails and drop them on their awesome plots every chance we get!”

Thomas blinked and looked at the wren again. He could have sworn he’d seen a flag waving behind her as patriotic music played in the background, but it must have just been his imagination.

“I am so telling the rest of the guys back in ‘Leste’s harem. They’re gonna get a kick out of this.” She tittered. One could tell just by looking her in the eye that a diabolical scheme was taking shape in her mind. “This is gonna be fun.”

Chuckling, Thomas gently shouldered the griffon’s side to get her attention. “That last part didn’t sound all that responsible.”

Talon turned to the man and looked at him as though he’d grown a second head. “And your point?”

It didn’t take Thomas long to answer. “No point. I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page.” They shared an understanding, conspiratorial nod.

Blue had begun backing away in the limited space of the pool. Her back quickly hit the wall. Cornered, and with roughly a dozen guards watching her, she allowed the dread of the moment to wash over her. There was nowhere for the winged – and secretly magical – mare to flee. “Why does it feel as though you are plotting treason?” she asked with frightful defiance.

Talon’s beak spread wide in a manic grin. “It’s not really treason. If ya think about it, it’s more like a… a reinterpretation of our duties,” she reasoned with the deviousness of a top tier lawyer. “We gotta protect you from yourselves, and it’s our civic duty to do so at any cost.”

“I’m not sure we could take her,” Thomas admitted. “She’s got guards all over the place.” Also he was still mindful of the wet concrete.

“That’s why we have to wait,” Talon whispered conspiratorially. “I’ll fly on ahead and spread the word, assuming I don’t get distracted by some sexy plot and forget. We’ll get all the concubines on standby to jump the Princesses as soon as they go to their rooms. We’ll seize power before the guards can even react and rule from the shadows with the alicorns as our puppets.”

“A clever plan,” Blue acknowledged. No longer pulling away in fear, she held her head high and spread her wings in a display of unwavering dominance. “But you have foolishly explained everything while I was in earshot,” she proclaimed dramatically as though she’d revealed some great truth.

Talon scoffed. “And here I thought Princesses were all civil, and high society, and didn’t stoop to lowly tactics like eavesdropping.”

Blue flinched as if struck. “Keeping one’s ears open has always been an invaluable tool of the powerful. It is how we stay alive.” Her words seemed a bit too defensive.

“Yeah, yeah. Keep telling yourself that.” Talon waved dismissively, frustrating the mare all the more.

“But the point stands! I know your scheme, and sister will as well. All we need to do is… is…” Her eyes went wide as it finally clicked.

Talon’s grin was a blend of cruelty and triumph. “All you have to do is what? Avoid us? Avoid your concubines, the only creatures in the land qualified to keep you from going mad with heat?” She snorted her contempt. “Sure, you could sleep elsewhere, or even lock us up, but then what? You’d sit your big asses on your big ass thrones, make your decrees, and everything’d be all nice and dandy… at first. Then the tingling would come. That burning little twitch, that itch in that sacred place that you can never quite scratch on your own. You grind your thighs together, but that only makes it worse. It builds and builds and builds,” her wingspan widened with every other word, “until it’s so maddening you can barely even hear anything. By the time you’ve finally registered that its heatstroke, it’s already too late. And then…” She trailed off, her head lowered as she gave a depraved sneering smirk. “You wouldn’t last a day.”

Thomas looked between the females. Talon looked so very villainous and dastardly that her face seemed rather punchable in that moment. Blue, by contrast, had been backed into a corner and her features drooped in hopeless submission. There was only one reaction that seemed fitting. “Damn, girl! You don’t mess around.”

As Talon accepted this well-deserved praise, her continued victory speech faltered when she saw a change in Blue. “What?” she asked warily as the blue mare began to lift herself up. “What are you doing?”

Now it was Blue’s turn to grin, only with the corner of her mouth having this murderous twitch to it. “But there is another matter you have overlooked. A key detail that kills your plan in its infancy.”

“Oh yeah?” Talon challenged. “What’s that?”

Standing at her full height, Blue’s smirk was more of an aristocratic sneer as she looked down on the treacherous felinoid avian. “Cadence, Princess of Love, has no harem.”

Talon’s eyes went wide with horror and her body went tense.

Even Thomas felt his sphincter clench a little at this sudden shift in atmosphere. He had no idea why, but something about Blue’s words had filled him with dread.

“You may have numbers on your side, but the youngest alicorn has yet to fully mature. Her urges are easier to quell by her single mate, who is far more loyal than you.” She said that last part with a venomous hiss. “Cadence will rise unmatched. If she does not take the throne for herself, she will squash your meager rebellion with her devastating love magic.” Blue pointed in accusation. “Her spells will render you helpless, writhing in heaps of nonstop orgasmic bliss. If she is feeling cruel, she may even toy with her food. She will fight with words, planting seeds of dissent that will turn you against one another! She will argue that the harems have neither the ability to rule, nor the desire. Dealing with the endlessly tedious problems of the realm is not for the faint of heart, and you concubines are too content with your lives of luxury to spoil it all with having others expect you to make up ponies’ minds for them on everything from crop rotation to fork placement at a banquet most won’t even attend. Is that what you want? Is it!?”

Talon slapped her claws over her birdy ears, dropping Thomas into the water as her body shook with existential horror. “No. No! It’s too horrible!”

Thomas couldn’t stop smiling as he watched the tables turn so dramatically. He was still uncertain if this theatric display was sincere or not, but it was fun to watch. He wished he had popcorn, but decided to commit these moments to memory to share with the others. They’d really get a kick out of it. But then he started thinking. “Wait, why would Cadence need to say all that when you just did?”

Blue faltered a second before saying, “Shut up! This is Our dramatic speech and We will not see it ruined.”

“Actually, we kind of already did this.”

Talon ceased her desperate panic to meet the human’s eye. “Say what?”

“Yeah. We kinda already teamed up against her.” Thomas motioned to Blue. “Turns out alicorns are actually easier to conquer than you might expect. Silver even used her butt as a living throne for a bit.”

Talon’s cheeks puffed out like a squirrel smuggling baseballs. Anticipating what was coming, Thomas made sure to back away before it happened. Before long a shrill, squawking laugh erupted forth. The griffon tried to close her beak to get herself under control, but her body would not stop thrashing around as she struggled against her own mirth.

Blue just stood there in dignified silence while her own lips twitched, threatening to betray her.

Smiling at the fall in tension as he was caught up in the collateral splashing, Thomas added, “You’d love to hear how it ended.”

“No!” Blue shouted, very nearly going overboard into the Royal Canterlot Voice. She paused at the mischievous gleam in Talon’s eyes. One way or another, it was now inevitable that the griffon would learn the embarrassing truth about her unethical use of chemical warfare to end the rebellion. Such was the fundamental flaw of having a close knit group of friends. Secrets had a short life expectancy. “I mean, perhaps we should wait.” She motioned to the main pool. None of the ponies who weren’t guards were looking their way. She’d already cast an illusion to divert attention, but that did nothing to diminish her dread at the imminent sharing of the truth of her shameful victory.

“Eh. Fiiine!” Talon groaned. Finally back in full control of herself, she stood and spread her wings, letting the water drip in tiny droplets. “Kind of a waste of a pool trip if you ask me, but whatever. I guess it’s just part of my curse to be the most interesting thing in the room, even outdoors.”

Thomas followed the females’ lead and exited the pool. They returned to the changing room and Thomas once more grabbed a stall. He wasn’t fast enough to get one for himself, however, as Talon muscled her way in behind him. She didn’t say anything. She just smirked down at her small stall buddy, daring him to challenge her presence. He didn’t take the bait and made due with the little space he’d been allotted. They both undressed and wiped themselves down with towels. Talon made sure she was seen peeking over his shoulder at what dangled between his legs, and he reciprocated with more than a few ‘accidental’ brushes against her breasts. Thomas emerged fully dressed with the swimsuits in the bag while the females had resumed their natural states.

Since they were dry, and the air had warmed a little, they decided to walk back to the castle. Talon positioned herself between the others so that she’d be able to deliver tail slaps to both of her friends’ bottoms whenever it suited her. Blue was able to retaliate with her own tail while Thomas had to maintain constant vigilance and try to catch the darn thing whenever it made a move. They chatted about this and that, but nothing too important. Mostly they walked along in a comfortable silence, hand-in-hand, and frequently bumping sides as they went. It was a comfortable moment with a newly returned friend, a friend whom Thomas was happy to have back.

After much demand from fans, I give you everyone’s favorite griffon! Yaaay! Actually, this plotline initially hit a roadblock with nowhere to go, so now seemed as good a time as any for Talon’s return. My one regret was my inability find a spot to properly catch folks up on what’s been going on between Talon and Fluttershy, but them’s the breaks. For now let’s enjoy some more harmless, slice of life fluff. We’ll be ending that soon enough, though.

Big thanks to my Patrons.
Tier 1: Magetsu
Tier 2: Nakey Jakey and Jonathan Applewhaite
Tier 3: kent and Brad Cooper