“Streamers!” Surprise screamed as she ran around the room, directing the others. “More streamers. And balloons! Moonlight, blow those balloons like you blow Thomas!” Moonlight chuckled as she followed the mare’s instructions. “Silver. How’s that album coming?”

“Slowly,” Silver answered tiredly from the table. Around her were strewn clippings from newspapers and magazines, all depicting Princess Luna, but only the ones with positive headlines. “I feel like a stalker putting this together.”

“As opposed to all those Luna posters in your room?” Thomas asked from on high. Because of Surprise’s inability to simply wait for a ladder to arrive, Thomas was bequeathed the task of hanging streamers and tiny cutouts of the moon on the ceiling, and all from atop Surprise’s shoulders as she flew about. “Also, I really think a mare with wings should be doing this.”

Surprise hushed him as she hovered from set to set. Amongst the various attractions was a buffet with a wide variety of options. These included a cold bar, a hot bar with trays equipped with heating runes, and a wine bar. They had voted and decided against any sort of theme as the point of this party was just for everyone to enjoy coming together. It was meant to be more like a banquet with as many options as possible for the attendees to enjoy; mostly consisting of dishes that were high on calories that were fated to be burned with prejudice. Likewise, the plates were porcelain white with leafy decorations since it was voted that moon-themed plates would look too foalish. A record player had been set up in the corner. Lastly there was one empty table that the white mare refused to stop staring at. “It’s mocking me,” she muttered conspiratorially. “It’s mocking me with its empty incompleteness.”

“Honey’s only been gone like ten minutes,” Thomas reassured calmly, scratching the mare behind the ears in the way that all ponies seemed to like and earning a soft coo. “Just give her a bit.”

“The guards will help her right?” Surprise asked, directing her question at Moonlight. “They won’t just stand around and let her carry that big thing all by herself.”

Moonlight smiled sympathetically at her white friend’s worry. “I’m certain they will.”

“‘Cause it’s super important the seal not be broken before we’re ready, or else it’ll start melting,” Surprise reminded. “And if it melts, it’ll be soup. If its soup, it’ll get all runny and spill everywhere. If it spills, everything’ll get sticky, and not in the good way, making a really yucky shluck sound anytime anypony steps on it. The squishy squelching will be so loud and annoying that it’ll drown out the music, ruining the mood and killing the party!” Surprise was shouting now. “And if the party’s ruined, Luna’ll be so depressed that she might-”

“Surprise!” Thomas shouted as he grabbed the floating mare by the tail and yanked her down, forcing the panicked mare to look up at him.

“Oh hi, Thomas,” Surprise greeted high-spiritedly, apparently having already forgotten her prior panic. “What cha want?”

Thomas just stared back with a deadpan look as he came to terms with the mare’s spontaneous mood shift. “Everything’ll be fine,” he said as if trying to calm a wild animal, which was probably more accurate than he cared to imagine. “Honey will get back soon, we’ll finish setting up on time, and Luna will love your party.”

“Do you really think so?” Surprised asked with measured hope. Apparently she hadn’t completely forgotten her earlier freak-out.

Thomas smiled and kissed Surprise’s forehead. “I know so.” He chuckled as he looked down at her, and then below her at the others. “It’s alright girls. I think we’re good now.”

Fearful of where Surprise’s freak-out might lead, both Moonlight and Silver had grabbed onto the white mare’s legs in an effort to hold her down. However, it seemed that Surprise only just now noticed that the pair were even there, making them both feel especially small.

“Heh, oops,” Surprise said apologetically as she slowly descended back to the floor.

Honey arrived shortly after and preparations were able to resume.

**********

“And you are certain that is all you can say?”

“Yes, Your Highness,” Attentive said evenly as she stood at attention in Luna’s office. “Surprise has had your room on lockdown for the last three hours. No pony in or out, save for Honey, who went to retrieve a dish of an unspecified nature.” She had been grilled by Princess Luna for the last half hour over the activities of her harem, answering what felt like the exact same questions over and over again.

“Unspecified?” Luna asked incredulously as she leaned over her desk. “Surely you can do better than that?”

“My sincerest apologies, Your Highness.” Attentive remained as stoic as ever. “The chefs refused to divulge any further details, asking that we not inquire further.”

“I do not like this,” Luna said as she touched her chin in thought. “What about the package delivered at midnight? Were you able to discern its origin?’

Attentive flipped through her notes. “No, Your Highness. It appears that Surprise has anticipated our actions, having ordered the package weeks ago and arranging it to be delivered to random spots all over the city before arriving at your room at the designated hour.” She checked her notes once more to make sure she’d read them right. “I fear there is simply no way of knowing what your harem has planned before night court ends in,” she paused to check a stopwatch, “four minutes.”

Luna blinked in disbelief as she slumped back in her chair. “Thomas warned me to be wary of the mare’s abilities,” she said in a tone of exasperation. “I had called him silly when he compared her to Pinkie Pie, claiming that the both of them had the ability to defy the laws of reality in a way that has not been seen since Discord.”

“The mare has displayed an admittedly unsettling level of cunning,” Attentive agreed. “Shall I have the guards open the doors and look?” she asked, knowing the answer beforehand.

“Alas, no,” Luna sighed. “With all the work they’ve put into this secrecy, it would be terribly rude to have others simply barge in before they are ready.”

“Yes, Your Highness,” Attentive said evenly, suppressing the urge to point out that Luna’s reasoning ran entirely counter to what she’d practically been obsessing over for the last few hours. “Will that be all?”

“I believe so.”

Luna finished up what paperwork she could in the next few minutes until Attentive announced the time. The dark alicorn could not deny the butterflies in her stomach as she stood and walked out of the room with the grace befitting a Princess. She politely acknowledged every servant and guard along the way, though her mind was focused exclusively on her destination.

They’re in my room, she thought, feeling her heartbeat quicken. My harem is in my room, planning something they want to keep hidden. Luna heard a slight gurgle from her stomach, telling her that it was nearly dinner time. Momentarily she considered taking a detour to the kitchens to grab a snack, something to settle her nerves, like an entire cake or two, but decided against it. Surprise had apparently spent weeks planning the evening’s activities down to the very hour. To delay the white mare the satisfaction would be nothing less than a slap in the face, so she marched on until she arrived.

Luna breathed heavily in nervous-citement as she stood outside the door to her room, thankful to the guards for pretending not to notice. Get ahold of yourself, silly filly, she internally chastised. You’re acting as though you’re marching to your own execution. Thank Faust ‘Tia is not here, lest she have teasing fodder for the next decade. Manifesting an invisible hand to slap some sense into herself, Luna breathed heavily and telekinetically pushed the doors open.

“Surprise!” the harem cheered together.

A shower of confetti fell over Luna like rainbow snow, forcing the dignified alicorn’s face to split in a silly grin. Her eyes roamed all over the room, taking in the extravagance of all that her lovers had prepared for her. However, amidst all the streamers, moon-themed decorations, gentle yet fun music setting the mood, and the wide variety of aromatic food, there were a few details Luna fixated on.

Her harem was naked. Sure, Luna knew it was a coin toss as to whether her mares would be nude or in their loincloths. However, it was Thomas’ nudity that she fixated on. The human was naked, in front of all these mares, and he was sporting a partial erection, no doubt in anticipation of what was to come. To bolster this theory, Luna eyed the bodies of the other mares and noted the subtle indications of physical arousal they all presented. Tails were partially flagged or wagging happily, nipples were in varying states of hardness, and wings were twitching. It was making her body hot.

Feeling overdressed, and just a little overheated, Luna snapped her fingers and did away with her dress. Surprise must have taken this as the cue that Luna had formally joined their naked party, for she pounced into the alicorn’s arms. Luna gave a surprised huff and had to bend her knees to handle the white mare’s weight. She held Surprise bridal style as the mare excitedly giggled, kicking her legs and throwing her arms around Luna’s neck. Her cheer quickly proved to be contagious.

“Please never do that with me,” Thomas said with a smile, happy that everyone else was happy. It was almost enough to make him forget how nervous he was at the impending sex-scapades. “I don’t think I could handle it.”

“Never say never, Thomas,” Luna said in a hushed, seductive whisper as her face inched closer to Surprise’s. The two rubbed noses affectionately as the alicorn’s hand slid down the white mare’s back and grabbed a handful of plush white rump, making her squeal happily. “You miss out on so much fun that way.”

The group dispersed after that to various points of interest and mingled. Honey immediately made for the wine bar, pouring herself a glass and filling it instantly. Surprise pulled Moonlight and Silver out into the middle of the room and got a dance going. Luna giddily spied a tub of water filled with floating apples and teleported over to play. This left Thomas to mosey on over to the bar to take in the sights with Honey.

“Enjoying the view?” Thomas asked. Luna had crouched down to her knees and bent over to begin bobbing, shaking her tantalizing rear at the bar. The human couldn’t help but smile as he noticed the way Honey’s eyes were fixed on the larger mare’s plump backside, and the way she hungrily licked her lips.

“Uh, what?” Honey asked, shaken from her temporary trance. “What’d ya say?”

Thomas chuckled at her response. “That was a good suggestion.” He indicated the wooden tub.

“Yer the one who suggested party games,” she replied, giving his shoulder a nudge.

“Bah!” Luna swore, likely having failed to achieve her prize. “Cursed morsels. You will not defy your Princess.” Her outburst earned chortles from her audience.

“Why don’t you give her some pointers,” Thomas suggested, giving her a nudge back.

“What?” Honey whisper hissed. “Ya really want me ta-”

“Just go play with her,” Thomas urged. “I’m… 75% certain she won’t bite.”

Honey audibly gulped as she turned her eyes back on the glorious moon as it shook to the rhythm. Thomas could almost see the gears of her mind turning. Despite everything, it was still culturally ingrained in her to revere the Princess, and doing things like offering assistance somehow seemed rude. And as Silver had demonstrated, it would take quite some time before such behavior dissipated completely. However, Honey was not the sort to back down so easily. With another nod and a lick of her lips, the earth mare summoned the full might of her courage and strolled over to the tub. She paused behind Luna, obviously giving her backside some deep consideration before circling around to the opposite end.

Thomas laughed to himself as he picked up what remained of Honey’s drink and gave it an experimental sip. After all, they’d already swapped fluids, so it’d be silly to start getting squeamish after everything else. At least that’s what he told himself as he forced himself to take a swig. However, the moment the liquid touched his tongue he jerked back and held the cup away. “Strong,” he choked out and set the glass back on the table. He turned around and sampled much of the buffet, anything to wash out the taste of the unexpectedly strong cider.

“Well… played,” Silver panted as she walked up to the human, her body gleaming in sweat.

“Wow. What happened to you?” Thomas asked, understandably surprised by the mare’s intense fatigue.

“Surprise,” Silver exhaled, gesturing with her thumb over to where the pegasus was animatedly spinning the unicorn around.

Thomas chuckled nervously as he watched the mares move, understanding Silver’s plight. By the looks of it, Moonlight was more of a prop than Surprise’s dance partner with the way the latter was spinning the former around like a baton. “Uh, hey,” he said with a hint of apprehension as he approached the dancing pair.

The dancing stopped as Surprise allowed the slightly woozy Moonlight to fall to her hooves. “Hey Thomas! Wanna join?”

Thomas glanced at Moonlight’s disheveled look before beaming back at Surprise. “Sure!”

‘Thank you,’ Moonlight mouthed silently as she stepped aside and moved to join Silver by the bar. In addition to alcohol, the bar also boasted a number of herbal stimulants and other energy drinks. It was just convenient to keep all the liquids in the same place.

Thomas joined Surprise in dancing, but was a little surprised to find she didn’t just grab him and use his body like a replacement baton. Her movements were still wild and energetic, but there was no denying how much gentler she was being with him. Is this because I’m a puny human, or a stallion? Ultimately, Thomas decided it didn’t matter and to just enjoy the dance, though Surprise’s bouncing boobies didn’t hurt his decision.

The sound of mares laughing caught Thomas’ ear and he turned around to see Luna cheering happily through her mouthful of apple. Honey was holding the alicorn’s hand up in shared triumph as she too sported a big red apple in her teeth.

The party went on like this for roughly an hour, with ponies and human wandering casually between activities, doing things for as long as they were fun before paying a stop to the buffet to recharge. The cake was especially favored among the larger mares. As they all moved about, they griped about the weather schedule, shared rumors and speculation about events in distant lands, and generally talked a lot about nothing. Thomas felt at ease watching and listening to this chatter, remembering the gatherings of his own exceptionally large family. Aside from the general nudity, the biggest difference was how he’d made more of an effort to be involved, asking questions and giving his input. He cared for these mares, and wanted to know about their lives. They, in turn, pressed him for any relevant details in his own life.

It was around the time that the buffet tables were half empty that Silver called them all to the bed to have a look at the album she’d assembled. Luna quickly and eagerly flipped through the pages, enthralled as she would be with any other good book. She was beside herself with all the work Silver had put into assembling everything so beautifully, but the silver mare was quick inform that the others had done a lot of the leg work in collecting everything. Luna was struggling to hold back the tears as she hugged each and every one of them for doing so much to make her feel so loved. She didn’t speak, but they all understood her well enough.

“Hey guys!” Surprise called out. “Wanna play truth or dare?”

There was a chorus of agreement from all other mares, leaving Thomas to chuckle as he joined in. The harem quickly formed a circle. Surprise pulled out a bottle from her mane and set it in the middle. This led Honey to suggest that whoever the bottle landed on should have to take a shot to give themselves a boost to courage, and have to take two shots if they failed to tell the truth or go through with the dare as punishment. It went without saying that it wasn’t a real party unless everyone got shitfaced, so they all agreed. With all that settled, Surprise gave the bottle the first spin.

“Oh! Me-me-me!” Surprise cheered as the bottle landed on her. “I win first spin!” Honey poured the mare her agreed upon liquor, which was downed in a second.

“Alright, Surprise,” Moonlight said deviously. “Truth or dare?”

Surprise leaned back on her hands and opened her legs wide, leaving nothing to the imagination as she thought. “Hmmmm… Dare!” she declared excitedly.

“Ah’ve got one!” Honey declared sinisterly. “We’ll do somethin’ small since the games just gettin’ started. Ah dare you, Surprise, ta stand on yer head fer five minutes.”

“Pssh! Is that all?” Surprise asked dismissively. “I could do that in my sleep.” Crouching her body low, the white mare sprung up like a jack-in-the-box, did a one eighty spin in midair, and landed back on the floor with a distinct ‘boing’ sound. She bounced a little as she sat there arms folded and cross legged, supported entirely by her springy mane while her tail hung down her back. Her breasts were giving the middle finger to gravity by holding their prior position and not smacking her right in the face. “See? Easy!”

“Excellent!” Luna applauded in delight as the others just looked on with varying degrees of fear and uncertainty.

“You heard that too, right?” Thomas whispered.

“Ah reckon she’s got somethin’ hidden in that mane o’ hers.”

“Are you using some sort of enchantment?” Moonlight asked openly.

“Hmm… Nope,” Surprise answered plainly. “Just a neat trick I do. Great for parties.”

“Most certainly,” Luna giggled in acceptance. “Your talents never fail to impress.”

For the sake of her sanity, Silver decided to pretend that the impossible mare wasn’t being impossible and gave the bottle another spin.

“Oh boy,” Thomas sighed as the bottle landed on him, much to the elation of the other mares who broke out in giggles.

“Alright Thomas,” Surprise said. “Truth… or daaaaaaaaare?”

Traditionally, the safer bet would have been to just go with truth. However, knowing these ladies, they’d still likely come up with something just as embarrassing for him to say. Further, Thomas was feeling oddly daring. He hadn’t ingested any alcohol, but being surrounded by so many good friends in such a lively atmosphere was really having an effect on him. “Ya know what? I’m gonna go with dare,” Thomas stated defiantly and slapped his chest with a balled fist. “Hit me with your best shot.”

Honey did just that, handing Thomas a glass. It was a lot stronger than he was used to, but he managed to choke it down.

Surprise applauded his declaration without compromising her balance. “Oh. I’ve got one. I dare you toooooo… make Honey say uncle.”

“Do what?”

“You heard me,” Surprise asserted. “Honey’s just sitting there all proud and sure of herself. I want to see if you can make her say uncle.”

Thomas turned slowly to face the earth mare. He found her find her smirking sinisterly back at him. She even mimicked his earlier chest pounding in challenge, making her breasts bounce.

“Bring it, shrimp,” she said with unwavering confidence.

“Okay,” Thomas accepted nonchalantly as he stood and looked down at the mare. He began circling silently around her, eyeing every inch of her body as he scanned for weaknesses. All the while his audience watched with bated breath, eager to see what he would try. He could tell they all thought that this was an unfair challenge. Even Moonlight was shooting dirty looks at Surprise. Although none bothered pleading with Honey to try and go easy on him. She wouldn’t, anyway, and it’d be rude to both her and Thomas to even ask.

Thomas, however, was not discouraged. The differences between the two were inescapable. And if it were something like an arm wrestling match, he’d probably just surrender. But this wasn’t a challenge that depended entirely on physical strength, and Thomas had a few tricks up his nonexistent sleeve.

“Well?” Honey asked impatiently after the human’s fourth lap around her. “We all know there ain’t no way yer gonna get one up on me. Ah’ve probably got more muscle in one arm than ya’ll do in yer whole body, no offense,” she chuckled. “Ain’t no pony gonna blame ya fer not bestin’ me, so ya might as well hurry up ‘n’ try somethin’ so we can keep this game goin’.” However, despite her bravado, there was something about Thomas’ nonchalant attitude in his circling, that unreadable expression of his, that was making her uncomfortable. She knew, knew that he was just trying to figure out the proper angle from which to tackle her and knock her off balance, or something else along the lines of a mouse tackling an oak. She hoped that he would just hurry up and get it over with. “If yer tryin’ ta make me dizzy, yer gonna have ta do a lot more than thaaaHAAA!” She cried in surprise when Thomas gently blew on her ear. She then pulled away and hissed angrily at him. “N-no fair!”

“Oh?” Thomas asked casually. “What ruled did I break?”

“Well… you…” Honey didn’t like this. She was no stranger to the ‘uncle’ game, as her family and friends were quite fond of wrestling matches. Such matches were usually decided by the size of the pony, meaning Thomas could never win if he played the normal way. Except he wasn’t. He’s a crafty one, she remembered. “It won’t work, ya know.”

“What won’t?” Thomas asked in faux innocence as he resumed his circling, reminding Honey of a buzzard looming down over a dead or dying beast, which was her in this case.

“That!” she growled as she followed him intently. “Your… That thing you do. That human thing.”

Thomas slapped his hands down on the mare’s shoulders, earning the faintest yelp of surprise before beginning a gentle massage. “Oh Honey,” he sighed in disappointment. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know you hated me that much.”

“What!?” Honey snapped. “Ah didn’t say that! Don’t go puttin’ words in mah mouth,” she demanded defensively.

“You don’t?” Thomas asked hopefully as he leaned forward and pressed his cheek to her neck. “Oh Honey. I can’t tell you how happy this makes me.”

Diabolical! Silver mentally exclaimed. Using his masculine wiles to breach her guard. I never thought he had it in him.

Way to go. Moonlight beamed as she nodded her approval, though she’d be lying is she said she wasn’t a little envious of Honey at the moment.

Clever boy, Luna congratulated as she licked her lips.

Pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows. Pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows. Those were the only thoughts running through Surprise’s head as she looked on, giggling to herself.

“Oh Honey,” Thomas cooed sensually as he slid his hands over her shoulders and down to the tops of her breasts, careful to avoid her areolas. “Your body’s so tense. You want me to… help with that?”

Honey whined anxiously as she felt his fingers stroke dangerously close to her perked nipples.

“What was that?” Thomas asked as he brought his pelvis up to her back, poking his erect penis into her soft fur. “I didn’t quite catch that.”

“Yer lucky you’re a stallion,” Honey growled. “Ah like you, but if you was a mare, Ah swear Ah’d sit on ya ‘til ya begged for mercy.”

Thomas made a thoughtful sound as his fingers veered around her nipples and moved beneath her breasts, lifting them slightly. He then whispered softly into her ear. “Ya know, after spending two hours being sat on by the immensity known as Luna’s butt, being sat on by any other mare kind of loses its intimidation quality.”

“Seriously?” Honey deadpanned.

“Seriously,” Thomas replied evenly, only to spring his trap and tighten his grip on the mare’s breasts.

“Ah!” Honey yelled in both pain and shock. “Gah. Uncle!” It had all happened so fast. The words had left her lips before she knew what she was saying. Somehow, Thomas’ distraction had fully circumvented her guard and left her with no defense; only the knowledge of the game they were playing.

A silence befell the room as it slowly dawned on Honey that she’d lost. The others were also quiet. Some smiled, but no one cheered. Instead, most looked just as shocked as the green mare for Thomas’ duplicitous victory.

“Uh, Honey?” Thomas asked after feeling the silence had gone on for too long. He hoped he hadn’t gone too far.

Her face as cold as stone, Honey reached behind her, grabbed Thomas by the shoulder, and yanked him back around with her powerful arm. Moonlight tensed, ready to spring into action. The human barely had time to blink before the mare aggressively kissed him, holding his head in place to cut off any retreat. Her tongue forced its way between his lips, pushing his own organ to the side as she belligerently explored inside his mouth.

“Hey!” Moonlight cried, less out of protection and more irritation at the mare for jumping the gun.

Honey ignored the orange mare, but let him go a few seconds later.

“Oh wow,” Thomas said in a daze as he lay limply in Honey’s arms. “That was… wow!”

Surprise whistled approvingly, still upside down. “Can I have some of that?”

Silver squeaked, which most took as her sharing the sentiment.

“Sorry,” Honey said in a way that didn’t make her sound very sorry at all. “Ah just, well, don’t take too good ta teasin’, ya hear?”

“I… yeah,” Thomas said with a nod as he found his feet and wobbled back over to his previous position. There, Moonlight proceeded to fuss over him to make sure Honey hadn’t bruised or hurt him in any way. The unicorn shot the mare a dirty look, but wavered sympathetically when she saw the way Honey was rubbing her chest.

“You shouldn’t be so rough with a mare’s breasts,” Moonlight chided gently. “If I were her, I might have done the same.” She snorted a laugh. “I’d probably do the same even if you were gentle.”

“Yeah,” Thomas averted his eyes sheepishly. “I’ll keep that in mind.” Then, at Surprise’s coaxing, he took his turn to spin the bottle.

“Oh dear,” Silver said apprehensively when the bottle stopped on her.

“Silver?” Moonlight asked threateningly. “Choose.”

Silver gulped, nervous at the mare’s intentions. While her pride told her not to be the first to avoid the challenge of the dare, she decided to err on the side of caution. “I choose truth.” She held out her hand and accepted Honey’s drink.

Despite her obvious disappointment, Moonlight still gave her question its due consideration. “Who would you say is the sexiest pony in the room?”

Silver perked up and opened her mouth to answer.

“But you can’t say Luna,” Moonlight quickly amended.

“Well then it’s not very truthful, is it?” Silver retorted smugly.

“It’d be too predictable,” Surprise commented.

Silver touched her chin in thought. “Now when you say ‘sexiest pony’, does that include Thomas? I’m not saying I’d choose him,” she quickly amended. “I just wish to understand the rules.”

“Fair enough,” Moonlight agreed. “Not counting Luna, who do you think is the sexiest… person in this room?”

Thomas watched Silver delve into thought. Guess there really aren’t any fears about jealousy around here. Though is that just the harem-herd thing, or ponies in general?

“Honey,” Silver said in satisfaction. “Though Surprise has much more ample assets, Honey’s body has a near perfect blend of muscle and softness, granting both cushion and endurance,” she explained with analytical objectivity.

Silently Thomas watched for everyone’s reactions. Honey pressed out her chest out in pride, Surprise whickered in mild disappointment, Moonlight gave a casual shrug of acceptance, and Luna seemed to be considering Silver’s words as she intently eyed up the earth mare’s body. That would have been so bad if these were human girls.

Silver took her turn, spinning the bottle until it landed on Thomas.

“Oh boy,” he muttered apprehensively. All eyes were trained on him as the mares waited expectantly for his answer. “This time, I guess I’ll go with truth, too.”

“Very well then,” Silver agreed with an elegant flip of her mane. “For your question, I would like your male insight on a matter that has puzzled me since we met.”

“Alright. Shoot,” Thomas agreed with an accepting shrug.

“I realize you might be a little biased, but do males prefer a mare’s breasts or her plot?”

Thomas folded his arms over his chest and bowed his head sagely, but really it was just a cover so they wouldn’t see him laugh. “A question as old as time immemorial,” he pontificated, channeling his best Dumbledore. “Alas, there is no easy answer. Fine and exceptional arguments have been made for either, and will continue to be made for many centuries to come. However, in my humble opinion-”

“Get to the good part!” Surprise interrupted, still upside down.

Thomas rolled his eyes and continued normally. “I kinda like both, but I’m pretty sure ponies in general are ass lovers.”

“How, pray tell, did you come by this theory?” Luna asked with a girlish laugh while also trying to sound scholarly.

Thomas shrugged. “Eh. Spend a lot of time on the outside looking in, I notice things. You guys start looking down more often when a mare’s facing away than when she’s facing forward.”

“Interesting. I have noticed that as well,” Silver concurred. The other mares gave their own affirmations and agreements, trying to sound extra posh and scholarly while they did so, before Thomas had had enough and gave the bottle a spin.

Luna applauded giddily as it landed on her. “Zons!”

“Alright,” Thomas agreed. “Truth or dare.”

“Dare! We choose dare!” Luna announced as she took her shot.

Thomas laughed at Luna’s enthusiasm. “First time playing?”

“Verily! This game is only a product of modern culture, now hurry up and dare us,” she urged. “But don’t you dare mollycoddle us, er, me. I know that these games are meant to embarrass, and I do not want you to go easy on me.”

“Kay. Cool.” The human nodded as he thought. If Luna wanted embarrassment, that’s what she was going to get. “Go outside,” he began evenly, “and inform the guard that you just farted.”

“Treason!” Silver pointed in accusation.

“Oh boy,” Honey choked, trying to stifle her chortles.

“At least it wasn’t me this time,” Surprise deadpanned.

“Did we discuss what happens if you opt out?” Moonlight asked anxiously. Not that Luna would ever do something so cowardly. That would be terribly unbefitting of a Princess. However, it was important that they all understood the rules.

“No need.” Luna stood to her full height, looking deathly serious. “The Princess of the Night has been issued a formal challenge. I shall not disgrace myself by turning away with my tail between my legs.” And she turned with a bold stride, marching toward the door.

Silver impotently reached out to stop her precious alicorn from debasing herself. When that proved fruitless, she turned to Thomas and attempted to set fire to him with her mind for committing such a fiendish act. He eventually averted his gaze in discomfort.

Luna pushed the door open and kept it that way with her hoof so the others could watch. It just seemed appropriate that there was evidence that she followed through. All leaned in as far as they could, watching the way Luna stood with literal naked authority before the two guards who patiently – and a little awkwardly – waited for her orders.

“Guards,” Luna stated authoritatively. They snapped to attention, because this was the voice that usually preceded orders, the important kind. “W… I just, that is to say,” she stammered in a manner most unbecoming of a Princess as the guards listened, patiently what they were certain was a matter of utmost urgency. “I… farted.”

The guards continued to stare, giving no visible response other than a rapid increase in blinking.

Unable to take it anymore, Luna dashed back inside and slammed the door behind her. Breathing heavily with her back to the door, Luna looked up and revealed her stoic mask had been washed away. “That,” she panted, “was terrifying.” However, before Thomas could start hating himself for the horrible thing he’d done, her deep breathing quickly shifted into nervous chortles, and then a full belly laugh as she fell to her knees and gripped her stomach. Eventually her melodious laughter spread to the others, even Silver, as they all struggled to keep upright.

“That was awesome!” Surprise cheered, finally right side up again.

“Ah don’t think Ah’d be able to do that fer strangers,” Honey said as she wiped the tears from her eyes.

“Way to go, Luna,” Moonlight cheered and offered a hearty applause, which the others quickly joined in.

Looking as though her mouth had been permanently frozen in a smile, Luna managed to stand back up and took an exaggerated bow. “Thank you. Thank you. You are too kind.”

Tension fully washed away and smiles lingering on everyone’s faces, Luna eventually grabbed something from the snack bar before making her way back to the circle and taking her seat. “Thank you Thomas,” she said with a contented sigh. “That was… surprisingly fun.”

“That’s a relief,” Thomas admitted with a sigh.

“However,” Luna maintained a serene smile as she spoke, “because of the humiliation you imposed upon your Princess,” she giggled cutely, “expect no mercy should your turn come again.”

The chill of dread ran up Thomas’ spine. “B-but you told me to.”

“And your point is?” Luna asked, continuing to give the icy smile of death.

Thomas looked around the room, searching for someone to back him up. Silver, unsurprisingly, just sinisterly rubbed her hands together, Honey had a look of malicious interest, Surprise just kept smiling in a way the human didn’t care for, and Moonlight just looked apologetic. “Et tu, Moony?”

“I don’t know what that means,” Moonlight admitted sorrowfully, “but I’ll try to make mine quick, okay?”

“Uh, I have depression,” Thomas offered cautiously. Normally he didn’t care to have others walk on eggshells around him, but if it would save his ass, possibly literally, he would proudly puss out.

“Have you not also expressed a desire to be treated the same as everypony else?” Luna asked with faux kindness. “I believe your words were something along the lines of,” her voice suddenly shifted to an exact replica of Thomas’, “I hate when you guys feel like you gotta walk on eggshells around me.”

“Dammit, past-me.” Thomas bemoaned, slumping and conceding to his fate.

“Alas, I have further unfortunate news,” Luna informed with faux sympathy. “I have spoken with Moonlight,” she motioned to the apologetic looking mare, “and she has informed me that tonight is one of your better moods.” She smirked and wet her lips lustfully. “I have faith that you can handle yourself.”

“Double dammit.”

Luna spun the bottle, and Thomas sighed in relief when it didn’t land on him.

“Oh dear,” Moonlight said in mild worry.

“Very well, little Moony,” Luna acknowledged. “What will you choose?”

“I choose, um, dare,” she stated and took her shot.

Luna nodded. “How are you at body modification spells?”

Moonlight shrugged in embarrassment and offered up her hand. “I can make my nails grow?” Her horn lit and she demonstrated the spell, growing her nails out an inch before bringing them back.

“Very well,” Luna acknowledged and lit her own horn. Moonlight’s groin glowed the same color as Luna’s magic. The surprised mare grabbed around where the magic was congealing, growing outwards and solidifying until it formed into a…

Oh for fuck’s sake, Thomas bemoaned as he gazed upon Moonlight’s shiny new horse cock.

Moonlight wasn’t much better off, blinking in disbelief as she stared down at her new appendage.

“Moonlight,” Luna announced, tearing all eyes away from the room’s second penis. “For your dare, you are commanded to carry your new male anatomy for the remainder of the game.”

“W-what?” Moonlight squeaked as her gaze darted rapidly between her alicorn and her new accessory.

“You gave my girlfriend a cock?” Thomas asked, not believing the words even as they left his lips. “Just to get back at me?”

“She did accept the dare,” Luna said matter-of-factly.

Thomas narrowed his eyes on the nefarious mare. “You really are evil, aren’t you?”

Luna smiled proudly.

“How’s it feel?” Surprise asked.

Moonlight had no words. At first she held her hands out at a cautious distance from the sheathed phallus. It was a darker shade of her orange coat and complete with a set of even darker apple-sized testicles. She swayed her body a little, studying the way her appendage moved. It touched the floor, which was weird. It touched her thighs, which was even weirder. A jumble of mixed signals spun in her brain. This was a penis between her thighs, but it did not automatically signal sexy time. Seemingly lost in her own world, Moonlight tentatively touched a single digit to the top of her sheath. A bolt alien of sensation shot through her and she pulled back.

“What happened?” Silver demanded anxiously. “Did it hurt?”

“I… don’t know,” Moonlight admitted. “It’s strange, like when I touch my marehood, but… not.”

“Moony,” Luna cooed playfully.

The unicorn looked up and her eyes grew even wider at what she saw. Luna’s hands were everywhere over her own body, massaging her breasts, teasing at her cutie marks, and just all around feeling herself. Her moans of pleasure were impossible to ignore, as they were designed to be. She was a merciless tease. To conclude her little performance, she gave the group a seductive wink that put all in a state of arousal.

Moonlight’s cock was now in a state of half-mast, twitching anxiously at what its owner had seen. She squeaked in embarrassment. Her hands awkwardly fumbled around her groin, uncertain if she was supposed to cover herself or not.

“Hey!” Thomas called out, looking up at Moonlight with worry. “You okay?”

Moonlight couldn’t help but smile at Thomas’ concern, covering his hand with hers as she took a calming breath. “I appreciate the thought, but I think I’m fine.”

Thomas glanced down at Moonlight’s new appendage and cringed. “You sure?”

“I promise,” Moonlight said, not sounding all that certain. “It’s only a problem if we treat it like one.”

“In that case, let’s keep playin’,” Honey demanded. “Ah wanna see where all this is goin’.”

Moonlight abided, spinning the bottle.

Honey crowed in celebration as the bottle landed on her. “Aw yeah! Mah turn!” And she downed her shot instantly.

Moonlight giggled at the earth mare’s excitement. “Alright. Will you-”

“Dare!” Honey declared resolutely. “Ah choose dare!”

Moonlight had to think quickly. Not only did she have to appease the green mare’s enthusiasm, but she also needed to give Thomas his just… desserts. In addition to him deserving it, her hope was that any punishment she offered would diminish the desires of the others to inflict something worse. A maniacal grin twisted across her lips as the idea formed. “Honey,” she hissed sinisterly. “There’s a certain outfit stored in the closet.” She jerked her head in the room’s direction. “I want you to fetch it and dress Thomas in it.”

“Uh… okay?” Honey agreed warily as she climbed to her hooves and entered the closet. “Uh, which outfit was it?” she asked as she shuffled through Luna’s various gowns.

“Moonlight!” Luna gasped. “You didn’t.”

Moonlight nodded smugly.

“You did…” Luna’s worried expression quickly twisted to mirror Moonlight’s own glee.

“This isn’t just a dress, is it?” Thomas asked in deadpan.

“Holy mother o’ ponies!” Honey declared as she came racing out of the closet with an outfit in hand. She skidded to a stop and held it out for all to see. “This!?”

Moonlight nodded and Thomas blanched in horror. “It’s my old foal scout uniform, modified special for tonight.”

From the hanger in Honey’s hand hung the tiny outfit. At first glance it was the standard uniform of a foal scout with a green vest and – normally optional – brown cargo shorts. There was even a red sash along the front containing several merit badges. It was all perfectly innocent and mundane, except for the missing bits of fabric around the crotch, ass, and nipples.

“Aw hell.” At the look of Honey’s eagerness, along with the curiosity of the other mares in the room, he knew he was doomed. Thomas rolled his eyes and stood. “Let’s just get this over with,” he conceded, allowing himself to be dressed.

“Oh wow!” Surprise cheered. “You look so cute!”

Moonlight made an unintelligible whinny as she absentmindedly stroked her appendage.

“You got it goin’ on,” Honey congratulated.

“Perhaps this should be your new official uniform,” Silver suggested cheekily.

“Seconded!” Luna held out her arm in cheer.

“Why me?” Thomas bemoaned from the center of the circle. Somehow wearing this outfit felt even more awkward than just being naked. He could practically feel the eyes of the mares as they crawled over him, especially his rear. It was beyond embarrassing, but there was also no denying the way his cock had sprung to life out of the hole in the shorts. This was followed by a holler of cheers from the audience as the human remembered he’d already been intimate with everyone in the room. Feeling a touch of boldness, Thomas decided to give them a show worth cheering for.

“Oh look. A penny,” he stated plainly as he turned around and bent forward, keeping his legs as straight as possible. Looking back between his legs, he could see steam literally bellowing out of Luna’s nose as she stared at him with glassy eyes.

“Uh oh. Where did it go,” Thomas said in faux distress. He fell to all fours and kept his ass up high as he began hunting through the carpet for the elusive coin, turning his body and wagging is rear to give all the mares a good show. They hooted and hollered their appreciation, making the human grow even bolder.

“Hmm. It seems the penny has eluded me,” he said thoughtfully, standing upright and pretending not to notice the others. “Oh where oh where could it have gone?”

“Oh! Mememememe!” Surprise’s hand shot up ecstatically. When Thomas slowly and deliberately turned towards her, looking very posh and unimpressed, she pulled out a bronze coin from her mane and wedged it precariously between her breasts. “Here. Right here!”

Thomas stroked his chin and hummed in animated consideration. “Hmm. Is that my penny? Oh, how I wonder.” He stepped up around the others and towards the white mare. He was glad that everyone showed enough restraint not to goose him as he bent over to give those behind him a feast for the eyes. Staring intently, he breathed heavily down on Surprise’s bosoms.

The pegasus’ wings shot out and fluttered lightly as her chest was examined, all the while her eyes were torn between the man’s funny faces and his third leg seemingly waving ‘hello.’ Alas, her suffering was ignored as he continued to grope and feel up her generous boobs in his search for his ‘precious penny.’

“Nope,” Thomas decided, giving Surprise’s right nipple a flick and causing her jiggling breasts to swallow the coin. “That is not my penny.” He folded his arms contemptuously, his antics earning several giggles from the surrounding mares. “I must find my penny, for only it will do.”

“Do what?” Luna eagerly asked, wanting to play along.

“Do? Hmm. What do?” Thomas shook his rear with each word, slapping his cock to either hip. “Hmm. What do yoooou think it do?”

Numerous and varied suggestions were shouted out: calls for tasting, touching, full penetration, and even a dance off.

“I’m such a man-whore,” Thomas muttered in amusement as he remarked on how much he was enjoying all this attention, only to remember something important. “Oh wait. I am.” And he chuckled lightly. However, his audience looked no less anxious to hear his verdict on what the elusive coin actually did, so he made his decision. “Oh there it is.” He knelt down to the bottle and set his hand upon the cap, causing the mares to grow silent in understanding. The bottle was spun and the lucky mare bounced and cheered in glee.

**********

Several turns later:

The five mares and one human were in blissful states of agony. It was getting harder and harder to breathe while their cheeks hurt from smiling too much. Honey laughed the hardest, mostly in relief, as she slid down against the door.

“Did you really do it?” Surprise asked eagerly.

Regaining her breath, Honey gave a smirk and held up the hand that did the deed, but not before giving it a quick sniff. She pulled away from the fowl odor and fanned her hand away. “Pew!” This earned another roar of laughter from the others.

“Tell!” Moonlight demanded. “You have to tell us what happened.”

“How’d she react?” Honey asked.

“Did she send the guards?” Silver inquired. “How did you escape?”

“No guards,” Honey said in a laughing sigh. “But Ah’ll tell ya, Ah don’t think Ah’ll be doin’ that again any time soon.” A shiver ran through her body as she recalled. “The way she looked at me… It was like she knew.”

“Knew?” Thomas asked. “How would she?”

“I imagine she had her suspicions,” Luna suggested, clutching her pained middle. “Seeing one of my concubines coming to her, alone, at this time, on this of all nights… ‘Tis not unheard of for ‘Tia and I to pull such pranks on one another.”

“That was still way too creepy for me,” Honey said, sounding more nervous. “The way she looked at me, with that smile. It was like she was just darin’ me ta try somethin’.”

“So what’d you do?” Surprise asked, leaning forward and causing her breasts to wobble.

Honey chuckled again. “Ah did like you said. Went in, said Ah had urgent business with the Princess.” She shook her head in disbelief. “She gave me that… look, and Ah asked her, just like you said, if Ah could show her somethin.’”

“And then?” Luna asked anxiously, scooting forward. “What was she wearing?”

“Uh, a yoga suit,” Honey giggled. Recalling the way the fabric had so perfectly hugged the smaller, pinker alicorn’s body made her lick her lips. “She smiled, lookin’ all innocent, but Ah knew she knew too. So Ah jus’… did it.” She made a slapping motion. “Ah smacked them flanks ‘n got out o’ there like Tartarus was on mah tail!”

“And the guards?” Silver asked more insistently. “I cannot believe they simply stood there and let that happen.”

“Oh, they tried,” Honey chuckled. “Ah heard ‘em shoutin’, but then Cadence called ‘em off.”

Did you hear that, my lovely niece? Luna chided lightly. It seems mine are not the only guards in need of more extensive training. She felt Cadence laugh on the other end.

Well excuse me for having my mind elsewhere, Cadence huffed indignantly. My stallion and I were very busy discussing which of your human’s techniques we wanted to try.

Fair enough, Luna conceded respectfully. Carry on.

“Was Shining there?” Thomas asked. “What’d he do?”

“Ah’m pretty sure he knew, too,” Honey laughed. “He was wearin’ a yoga suit too, but didn’t even get out o’ bed. He was also smilin’.” Finally she mustered the strength to walk back over to the others, only for Moonlight to quickly spank her as she walked past. “Careful now,” the earth mare warned playfully. “Don’t start nothin’ ya ain’t ready ta finish.”

“Finish?” Moonlight asked in amused disbelief. “We haven’t even started.”

This is a celebration marking the welcome of the harem’s latest members. As is many prior events, the point is to help everyone relax and see each other as equals. The harem is comprised of friends, a pseudo family to help the alicorns feel closer to those they rule and protect. This, as one tag suggests, is just a slice out of these people’s lives.

Big thanks to my Patrons.
Tier 1: Nobody at this time
Tier 2: Arthur Daniel Caro, Cerberi, and Josh
Tier 3: Jonathan Applewhaite, kent, Nakey Jakey, and AuthorGenesis