Luna’s harem of three and the applicants were lounging around the Princess’ chambers, not really doing anything of note. Luna’s lack of any particular urges had allowed the makeshift family to just sit back and do whatever struck their fancy. Thomas and Moonlight were at their writing desk, keeping their voices low as they discussed and typed. Honey was taking advantage of the quiet by relaxing with her head in Luna’s lap while the alicorn tenderly rubbed her ears. Luna, meanwhile, was enjoying the gentle caress of combs as Silver and Surprise brushed her mane. Conversation was light, but didn’t cover anything major.

“Does anypony know any good work gossip?” Silver asked idly.

“Aren’t we a little old for that?” Thomas asked.

“If it’s good enough fer them Canterlot elites, its good enough fer us,” Honey declared tiredly, unwilling to relinquish her comfortable spot. “Besides, it’s all jus’ harmless fun, right?”

“Exactly!” Surprise chirped and tapped on the bed. “Come on everypony. Let’s get our gossip on!”

At Surprise’s beckoning, all assembled in the royal bed, the semi-official meeting place of Luna’s harem, where all important matters were discussed. Thomas and Moonlight shared a nonchalant shrug and ascended the bed as well. They’d hit some writer’s block anyway. They all assembled in no particular formation, legs crossed as they waited for the first brave sole to start, except for Honey who refused to relinquish her spot.

“Has anypony noticed that Celestia’s flanks seem to be getting… bigger?” Silver asked.

“You’ve noticed too?” Moonlight inquired excitedly. “I thought I was just imagining things.”

“Ya sure bout that?” Honey asked, stroking her chin ponderously. “‘Cause Ah could o’ sworn they was actually smaller from the first time Ah saw her.”

“Maybe she’s on a yoyo diet,” Surprise suggested. “Some ponies just can’t be happy with the bodies they’re blessed with,” she sighed in disappointment as she looked down at her own full figure.

“That’d be such a shame,” Silver said, though didn’t sound all that depressed.

“Personally, I don’t see what she has to complain about,” Moonlight added. “The way the papers talk about her, she could be plus or minus a hundred pounds and she’d still be praised as the sexiest mare alive.”

Honey grinned and cupped one hand over the side of her mouth. “Ya think Luna might be a bit sore bout that?” she asked in a loud whisper, earning a chuckle from the alicorn.

“I know Cadence sure is,” Surprise sang. “I heard from this one maid, that this guard overheard her telling Shining how she wishes her flank was as big as Celestia’s.”

“That’s going to be an uphill battle,” Thomas stated with wisdom beyond his years. “Celestia has more than a millennium of subsisting mostly on cakes and other sweets. She’s got her work cut out for her if she wants to compete with that.”

“Her plot might have its appeal,” Silver began, whispering conspiratorially as she looked around the room. “But if you ask me, I think Luna’s plot has the perfect blend of strength and give.”

“Well stop the presses,” Honey snarked jokingly. “Silver Bell has a thing for the Princess of the Night. How will we ever recover from such a shock?” Her words were met by a round of chuckles from the others, causing Silver to turn her nose up in a huff.

“Luna’s beauty is an objective fact,” Thomas stated matter-of-factly. “I’m certain someone somewhere even developed the formulas to prove it. However,” he looked around cautiously, meeting all the mares’ eyes, before continuing with a whisper, “we should be careful. I’ve heard it’s never a good idea to flirt with your boss.”

Luna raised an eyebrow, curious where this might go.

“Is that so?” Silver asked skeptically. “And where, pray tell, does this pearl of wisdom come from?”

“Human culture,” Thomas deadpanned. “Even ignoring the potential for abuse, like she might say she’s gonna withhold your promotion unless you eat her out-”

“Do we even get promotions?” Surprise asked.

“-work stuff tends to overlap with relationship stuff and things can be taken pretty personally,” Thomas finished.

“I see,” Luna agreed and nodded. “In that case, dearest Thomas, you would be wise to mind your eyes. If you have noticed this boss of yours,” she said cheekily, “then there is a chance that she has noticed you noticing her.”

Thomas’ eyes widened in faux horror. “You mean she might have caught me staring at her shapely boobs and butt while I was supposed to be working?” he asked. He held out his hands and grabbed onto an imaginary pair of hips, thrusting his pelvis upward so all knew what he meant, and earning some wry smirks in the process.

“Couldn’t really blame ya if ya did, though,” Honey responded with a smirk. “But yeah. If you’ve done it enough, odds are pretty good she’s noticed.”

“Hmm,” Thomas hummed in serious contemplation. “What do you think the consequences are if she finds out I’ve been ogling her voluptuous body and mistakenly,” he stressed, “assumes I’ve been imagining perverted things about her?”

“This is a grave matter,” Luna informed. “Have you been imagining perverted things about your boss?” she inquired in a deep sensual voice as a finger traced down her right breast.

“I never said that,” Thomas denied casually. “I’m just asking what happens if she assumes that’s what I’ve been doing.”

“You’d best be on guard then,” Moonlight warned, her voice shaking as if she were telling a ghost story. “I hear that the Princesses keep a secret sex dungeon where all the bad little ponies are sent to be… disciplined.”

“The one on the third floor in the east wing or the one on the fifth floor of the west wing?” Luna asked. “I have not ventured to the latter in ages, literally.” She smiled. “Has much changed?”

“They moved the east wing dungeon to be beside the royal masseuse,” Moonlight corrected and then anticipated the next question. “I asked why they moved, but the guard I asked just gave some rambling answer about acoustics of all things.”

Luna made a sound of understanding. “I am happy they fixed that.”

“I’m worried I might have an idea,” Thomas confessed, praying they wouldn’t ask him to elaborate on all the ways a sex dungeon could be used for ‘physical therapy’. And why does it make me feel better to hope this has something to do with tax evasion or something?

“Anyway,” Moonlight resumed. “They say once you go in, you never. Come. Back. Out.” She waved her hands dramatically.

Thomas donned a look of horror, even throwing in a quivering lip for good measure. “What happens in this secret sex dungeon that everyone knows is by the masseuse?” Even the mares leaned in, shaking in anticipation for the unicorn’s dreaded explanation.

“Well, you didn’t hear it from me, but,” Moonlight not so discretely looked around the room to make sure no unwelcomed parties were listening. “I heard…”

“Yeah?” Thomas asked.

“That in this room…”

“Yes?” Silver asked.

“On those dark and lonely nights…”

“Go on,” Luna encouraged.

“That the Princesses… they come in… and…” Moonlight inhaled, drawing out the suspense as long as she could. “They have sex with you!”

The mares and man all pulled back, cupping their hands over their mouths in horror.

“You mean that, for the harmless and purely innocent crime of staring at my boss’s sexy butt,” Thomas whimpered, “I might h-have to stick my dick into one of the s-sexy Princesses’ pony pussies?”

Moonlight nodded somberly, shaking and just barely holding back her laughter. “You might indeed.”

“Oh Thomas!” Surprise cried, protectively wrapping her arms and wings around him as he was pulled into a plush hug. “Say it isn’t so. Tell me you haven’t fallen victim to the allure of your alluring boss’s plot.”

Thomas struggled against the mare’s grip to keep his face from being smothered between her breasts. When he managed to sufficiently extricate himself, he took a brief look around the room before lowering his eyes in guilt. As he did, he wondered if someone would comment on him staring so intently at Moonlight’s groin, her pubic hair specifically. She’d trimmed recently and it looked nice.

“This is indeed a serious matter,” Luna warned. “Thy body is most supple and,” she licked her lips, “exotic. If any of the Princesses were to get ahold of thee, there can be no doubt that they will devour ye with their boundless lust.”

Thomas straightened up with new hope in his eyes. “But they would have to prove it, right?” His pleading eyes darted between his friends. “They would have to prove that I’ve been harboring lewd thoughts about watching my boss perform unspeakable acts with Moonlight while I let my hands explore both their bodies.”

The mares exchanged hungered looks. Their faces grew hot and bothered as they licked their lips.

“And I know the perfect defense,” Thomas proclaimed confidently. “Why would I want to fantasize about any other big-breasted mares when I’ve got this” he seized his arm around Moonlight’s waist and pulled her close, eliciting an adorable surprised squeak, “piece of orange candy all to myself?”

“All to yourself?” Surprise inquired as she crawled up to the unicorn, leaning forward until their noses were almost touching. The way her mouth was twitching suggested she was having a hard time keeping the smile off. “Moonlight. Don’t tell me you’re one of those… those selfish mares who hogs a stallion all to herself?”

“What?” Moonlight blinked and pulled back in shock. “I… I never… I’m not like that,” she insisted defensively.

Surprise flinched and backed away, ears splayed apologetically. “Sorry,” she offered with a shrug. “I thought we were still just fooling around, ya know.”

Moonlight gave a sigh and relaxed at the assurance. She even offered Thomas a smile and nod when she saw how worried he looked. However, the moment of awkwardness was short lived as the mare quickly bounced back into character. “To think,” she turned her head up in a huff, “my own friend would accuse me of such a thing just because my stallion is a terrible blabbermouth.”

“Blabbermouth?” Luna gasped, silently glad the game was continuing. “Then it is true. You are intending to hoard his stallion meat all to yourself, denying who knows how many unfortunate mares the opportunity to partake of its succulence.”

“Wow,” Thomas said in approval. “Impressive melodrama.”

“Thank you,” Luna beamed.

“And if I do?” Moonlight asked challengingly. It was her turn to give her mate a possessive yank, pulling him onto her lap as she crossed her arms around his chest. “He is my stallion. I may do with him as I wish.” She asserted as she waved her hand in exaggerated gestures. “If I say he should spend more time focused on his job and to stop imagining what it would be like to, and I quote, ‘stick his dick into the Princess’ pony pussy,’” she blushed heavily but kept a stern face, “then he should.” It felt so wrong to talk about Thomas like he was her possession. Such thinking was offensively backwards and not welcome in polite society. Even so, it still sent a thrill through her heart as she asserted ownership.

“Now, now,” Honey waved her hand down, still having not moved from her spot. “We can all agree that fantasizing ‘bout the Princess’ pony pussy, along with other parts o’ her body, is a bad ide-eep!” She yelped as Luna smacked the earth mare’s rump with her tail. Honey pouted up at Luna. This lasted until she grew bored with the Princess’ impenetrable poker face before continuing. “But ya can’t really expect to control him like that. That sort o’ thing just ain’t right no more.”

Thomas studied Honey’s expression. He then noted the way Moonlight’s pulse had accelerated. She was either fearful, he reasoned, or excited.

“He ain’t even a pony,” Honey asserted flatly. “Ya don’t even know what kind o’ control would even work.”

Thomas smirked at the mare’s practicality, reflecting on exactly when this game became so conspiratorial.

“Maybe you don’t know,” Silver added, leaving her words to hang.

“‘Sides that, ya don’t know what he’s capable of,” Honey continued, ignoring Silver. “He could be into some really weird things. For all you know, the next time ya try gettin’ a little frisky, he could turn the tables by, Ah don’t know, using his mouth on yer pony pussy or somethin’,” she tittered. “Pony pussy,” she said again, just for the sake of saying.

“Pssh. You fantasize too much,” Moonlight dismissively scoffed, really getting into this. She wasn’t the only one. All of the other mares watched her, anxious to hear how she would reply. “And while that is an enticing thought, I doubt I’d ever be lucky enough to end up with a stallion like that.” She tightened her grip around Thomas. “But even if he shows any kind of resistance, I’ll just have to try harder to… dominate him,” she concluded as she shot a wink down at Thomas.

Unwilling to sit for this, even if it was in such a comfortable lap with such perky breasts poking his back, Thomas retaliated against the mare’s declaration. “Poke.” Adjusting himself in her grasp, he poked the unicorn right in the nipple, causing her to squeak and loosen her grip, granting him more mobility. “Poke.” He poked her other nipple, but she had already braced herself for his attack.

“Poke.” Moonlight countered triumphantly as she pressed her index finger lightly into Thomas’ nipple. “Beat that.”

Thomas shuffled and twisted until he’d turned around in Moonlight’s lap. He looked into her eyes, staring at her with his neutral gaze while she stared back. It wasn’t long before he had made her fidget nervously, anxiously wondering exactly how he would meet her challenge. Without a word, Thomas pulled back his lips and exposed his canines for all to see in a toothy grin. He then clicked his teeth together as his eyes moved between Moonlight’s face and her chest. After the second click, she understood the threat. She released her hold on him and protectively cupped her hands over her breasts.

Luna hummed softly to herself as her gaze shifted between the conspirators and warring factions, waiting patiently for her opening. It was a strategy that had served her well many times in the past. Strike only after the enemy has fully exposed themselves.

“You wouldn’t dare!” Moonlight accused.

Thomas continued grinning at her. “Look at these pearly whites. Humans evolved to eat meat,” he hissed. “Let your guard down, and I might just have myself a taste of your mare meat.” He lowered his head and widened his grin in mimicry of some of his favorite villain smiles.

Watching him give his mare an almost comical grin, Surprise figured she had to say something before she burst out laughing. “I’d listen to him if I were you,” she warned Moonlight. “Take it from me. Once you’ve tried mare meat, you’ll never be able to stop.” She looked over to Silver, meeting the smaller mare’s eyes before licking her lips.

Moonlight’s eyes widened in shock. She’d been betrayed by her ally. A show of strength was needed, which began with a defiant pout. “If you do, I swear I’ll…” She pondered. “I’ll just have to sit on you,” she sneered, confident that her latest escalation would cause her opponent to think twice.

Thomas blinked lazily at his panicking adversary. “I’d like to see you try,” he retorted smugly.

Her bluff had been called. It was currently beyond her ability to sit on Thomas while he was sitting in her lap. It was theoretically doable, but that would require his compliance to not strike before she was ready. No. This would never work, unless… “Surprise,” she whispered as the pegasus perked up. “What say we share this prize? I’ll take the bottom half and you can have the top.”

The pegasus slowly craned her head to look at the human, giving him a smug ‘you’re in for it now’ look. “Interesting,” she said, never taking her eye off the ‘prize’. “But I get the bottom half. I’m pretty sure it’s my turn, anyway.”

Moonlight scrunched her face in frustration as her flicking tail signaled her annoyance. It was already hard enough to split the treasure, but to lose the coveted bottom half to boot… No. Compromise was a part of war. If she wanted to win anything, she’d have to settle. “Deal,” she reached out, taking Surprise’s hand in a shake to seal their alliance. However, just as they were leaning in, grinning manically in preparation of claiming the prize that stood/sat defiantly of their attack, the true enemy finally intervened.

“Shame on you.” Luna shook her head condemningly as she lit her magic and brought the human up to her, which the others were certain was against the rules. This left Honey’s snout distractingly close to his groin. “Shame on the both of you, conspiring against this helpless little colt.” She cooed as she roughly pressed her oversized palms into his cheeks, compressing his face and forcing him to pucker.

Feeling like a fish anyway, Thomas attempted to smack his kissy lips.

“He threatened my teats with his teeth,” Moonlight whined, upset at the loss of his warmth.

“And you threatened his face with your plot.” Luna said evenly. “Tantalizing as it may be, such behavior is inexcusable. I fear you’ll have to be… punished.”

“Two weeks dungeon?” Thomas suggested through his forced puckering. He’d have liked to do a better Lemon Grab impersonation, but this was fine.

“She’s the one, officer,” Surprise pointed accusingly at Moonlight. “This was all her idea from the start. Trust me.”

“And why would I do that?” Luna asked.

“Because, um, I’m the only one here who was a professional whorse before applying,” Surprise beamed. “That means I’m the most trustworthy.”

There were eventually nods of agreement all around at how such credentials made Surprise’s claim credible. Even Moonlight, betrayed as she was, was stumped to think of an argument for why being a professional whorse didn’t make the pegasus automatically more trustworthy. Whorses were supposed to be discrete, after all. Still, Moonlight didn’t like being ganged up on… not like this, anyway.

“If it please the court,” Silver cut in. “I request to be granted custody of the guilty party.”

Luna hummed thoughtfully. “On what grounds?”

“On the grounds…” Silver began, “that I learned this new way to tie knots and I want to experiment?”

“Experimenting is strictly for colleges,” Thomas pointed out, still floating in Luna’s magic. “Besides, since I’m the aggrieved party, I’m the one who deserves satisfaction.”

Moonlight frowned flatly. “I satisfied you just this morning.”

“Correction,” Thomas said, holding up his pointer finger while floating sideways. “I satisfied you. We both know you enjoyed that way more than I did.”

Moonlight opened her mouth to protest, thought about it, and then closed her lips, conceding the point.

Thomas smiled at his successful ploy. While he hadn’t actually been certain that Moonlight enjoyed what he did more than him, he’d made an educated guess based on how loudly she’d moaned. Either that or she just preferred to be punished by him over Silver. It was a coin toss, to be frank. “So this means I get to make the decisions, right?”

“Now hold on there,” Honey said, finally lifting herself up. “Why don’t Ah get a say in this?”

The man and other mares looked to one another, unsure of what she was getting at.

“Mah stallion’s clear on the other side o’ the city,” Honey explained. “Meanwhile, ya’ll been danglin’ this,” she gestured at Thomas’ groin, “in front o’ mah face like ya own the thing, ‘n’ that’s just mean.”

“The court concedes,” Luna declared authoritatively, gently shaking Thomas just enough to make his erection bounce. “That was indeed mean… of Moonlight,” she added quickly. “Shame on you.”

Moonlight puffed her lip out in an adorable pout. “Why is everypony ganging up on me?”

Surprise first answered with a glomp of the unicorn, then with words. “Because you’re just too cute when you make that face,” she cooed, rubbing cheeks with the smaller mare until she relaxed.

“All in favor of Moonlight being adorable when she’s all flustered?” Thomas asked, raising his hand.

“Aye,” the other mares declared unanimously, also raising their hands.

“All opposed?”

“Neigh?” Moonlight offered uncertainly.

“Slam!” Thomas said as he slammed his imaginary gavel down. “Motion passes.”

“Objection!” Luna cried indignantly. “Only the Princess may propose such motions. You lack the proper authority.”

Thomas folded his arms and scoffed. “Well I didn’t vote for you.”

Luna blinked, incensed by Thomas’ contemptuous dismissal of her station. “Thou dost not vote for Princesses.”

“All in favor of a democratic revolution to overthrow the tyrant?” Thomas declared, raising his fist in a show of strength.

“Oh Faust no,” Silver grumbled, burying her face in her palm.

“Aye!” Honey declared. “Power to the ponies.”

Luna blinked in shock at this unexpected turn of events.

“Fair trials for all,” Moonlight added, holding up a fist in solidarity.

Luna’s breathing grew heavy. If she didn’t act soon, she’d be dealing with a full on coup.

“Aye! Aye!” Surprise chirped. “Viva la revolution!”

Luna’s ears perked when she heard Silver’s sigh. “You too, Mistress?”

“Sorry, Pet,” Silver offered sympathetically. “But they’re speaking my language.”

Luna stilled herself and gave a solemn nod. “I cannot say I am happy, but you have my respect.”

“So unless my math is super off,” Thomas began, “then I’m pretty sure that makes five to one.” When he was met with nods of agreement all around, he turned to face the recently deposed diarch and gave her a wicked grin. “Get ‘er!”

“No. No!” Luna held out her hands defensively as the masses crept near, closing the distance with sadistic grins as they readied to pounce. She set Thomas down nearby for safety. “Noooooo!” But it was too late.

Honey, as the nearest, struck first. Luna’s outstretched arms gave the earth mare easy access to the alicorn’s wing and arm pits. She dug her fingers in deep, confident the larger mare could handle such tickling. The flyers struck next, with Surprise zooming overhead before banking a hard right turn. She collided with Luna’s back and forced the mare face down onto the bedding, all while digging into the alicorn’s other wing pit and nibbling at her neck.

Having nominated herself de facto commander of this revolution, Silver decided it would be best to stay out of the fight for now. Instead, she hovered just above the fray and carefully observed. Luna’s laughter was pained, but also had a mirthful melody to it as it boomed around the room. Silver had to pinch her own nipple to keep from losing herself to the siren song and focus on the battle. The revolutionary forces had the element of surprise – someday she’d forgive herself for that pun – on their side. However, the raw power of an alicorn was not to be underestimated and would soon turn the tide if not dealt with. She quickly scanned the field for their remaining troops.

After the initial attack, Thomas had been freed from Luna’s magical grip and had managed to crawl away before being crushed under the massive weight of the alicorn’s baby feeders. Moonlight, to the surprise of absolutely no one, was in the middle of checking over the human to make sure he was alright. None would begrudge her such concerns, but Thomas at least was able to keep his head in the game and reminded Moonlight of their commitment to the revolution.

“You take one side, I’ll take the other?” he offered, having caught the contagion of the other mares’ smiles.

Moonlight frowned thoughtfully as she observed. Tears were falling from Luna’s eyes, but she’d already turned the tables by catching Surprise by… surprise, and was tickling her with an exuberant viciousness. Time was of the essence.

“Hurry!” Silver urged from above.

Figuring that the bat was keeping her distance out of uncertainty, Moonlight decided to take command as the leader of the revolution. “I’ve got her sides!” she declared boldly and leaped over the others to straddle Luna’s back. “Silver! You and Thomas take her butt.”

“Her… what?” Silver asked.

“I’ll show you,” Thomas said as he waved the bat mare down. They took position behind Luna’s plush and ample bottom, straddling her thighs. Looking up, they were able to see Moonlight faring well with ticking the alicorn just below her ribs.

Silver reached down for her Princess’ tantalizing plot, but pulled back her hands in uncertainty. “I… Her butt is ticklish?” she asked with a whimper. She’d been in Luna’s service for months, playing with the alicorn’s body every chance she could get. So it was a little understandable that’s she’d be a little angry with herself for not realizing this sooner. The cries of laughter only added to her anxiousness.

“Gotta be careful about it,” Thomas instructed, trying to keep calm amidst the noise. “Like this!” He reached out and cupped his hands lightly around Luna’s backside. It was a small struggle to stop himself from humping and digging his fingers in. He wanted to hear the other joyous cry she made when he touched her butt, but that could wait until later.

“Sto-ho-ho-p!” Luna whimpered as she writhed under her concubines’ attack. Every instinct in her body screamed at her to get away, to find safety, to be anywhere but the place where Thomas was about to reveal her ultimate weakness.

“Gently,” Thomas said as he took a calming breath, drowning out the world around him to focus on what had to be done. A mare’s body had a myriad of erogenous zone to choose from, especially alicorns, who embodied the traits of all the tribes. Thomas had learned that mare butt were universally sensitive, which he’d proudly exploited many times in the past for mutual carnal delight. However, back when it was just him and Luna, he’d also learned of a secret buried under the sensuality, a way to touch a mare’s butt that earned a cry other than sexually.

It was hard to keep his hands steady against all this writhing. It would be harder once he actually started, but he had to do it. “Keep her still,” Thomas called.

“Aye!” the pegasus, unicorn, and earth mare unanimously called back and set to hold Luna tighter than ever.

Grinning, Thomas carefully set his hands into position just above the thin hairs of Luna’s rump. Breathing to steady himself, he gently pressed his fingers down. “Gotta touch her just soft enough to only brush the hairs,” he instructed. Gently, carefully as he could, the human pushed his fingers up along Luna’s rump, going against the grain of her fur.

Luna slammed her muzzle down and buried her face into the bedding, smothering her scream before it could shatter any eardrums. Not only would doing so have ruined the mood, news of the resulting trip to the infirmary would have inevitably find its way to Celestia, leading to a merciless teasing far more agonizing than what Thomas was currently doing to her. So she magically lowered her own volume and took what was coming.

Luna’s butt was now wagging as frantically as her tail, putting Thomas in mind of another kind of rocking motion he commonly associated with the mare. Regardless, after covering the vast expanse of Luna’s generous backside, Thomas pulled back and resumed his petting from the bottom up. This earned another muted cry from his victim as he shot a smile towards Silver.

Silver smiled back. “Like this?” She adjusted her hands to mirror Thomas’ and matched his petting. Based on the way Luna was now frantically kicking her legs in protest, the bat figured she was on the right track.

“Yeah, but go slower,” Thomas informed as he repeated the motion. He guided his fingers along the mare’s backside with the precision of a masseuse. Every so often he’d run his hands in a serpentine motion to maintain the severity of the stimulation, which only increased her efforts to throw her captors off balance.

Silver beamed excitedly as she followed suit. “Oh Pet. I can hardly wait for our next session together,” she panted. “I hope the knots hold when I bring out Spanky.”

The mention of Silver’s favorite torture stick caused Luna to redouble her resistance. It got to the point that Thomas had to grab something to brace himself and keep from being thrown off. However, another sudden buck of Luna’s hips lost him his balance and Thomas grabbed one hand onto her cutie mark and the other plunged a fair distance into her clenched butt cheeks.

Luna’s body tensed as her back arched upward. Seeing the way the alicorn’s nethers were quivering, Thomas and Silver only barely had enough time to hold up their hands to block their faces.

Luna is susceptible to tickle orgasms, Thomas noted as a bit of alicorn juice ran over his closed eye and down his cheek. He gave it a brief lick, savoring the sweet flavor. Good to know.

**********

“Now that I have conquered Luna,” Silver began from atop her throne, her face shadowed in the terror of her newfound power, “all shall bow before Equestria’s new bat pony queen! Mwahahahaha!”

The ‘throne’ in question was actually Luna’s butt. Luna laid on the bed, head down and ass up in the air in the traditional mounting pose. After her devastating and total defeat, the former Princess was simply too tired to offer any resistance. As it went, the mare doing the mounting had managed to squeeze her tight little butt into the alicorn’s grand canyon. To make things funnier, Luna’s ample rump cheeks also made for pretty good arm rests as the new queen sat with her head held high, looming down on her subjects.

“Weren’t we fighting for democracy?” Thomas asked, laughing tiredly. “Because I’m pretty sure we started this for democracy.” He and the others had thoroughly tired themselves out in their tickle assault. It took all the strength they had left just to keep from falling over. The sight of Luna’s supreme plot held high in presentation while Silver’s legs conveniently concealed her privates only added to the perpetual smile that was stapled onto everyone’s faces.

“You started? Pssh!” Silver scoffed. “It was I who daringly-”

“Ah’m pretty sure Moonlight ‘n’ Thomas were the only ones givin’ orders,” Honey informed tiredly. She was resting her head against Surprise’s shoulder. “Heh. Never thought Ah could get so winded from a little ticklin’.”

“Don’t care,” Moonlight stated flatly and yawned. She was resting against Surprise’s other shoulder. “Too tired. Revolution later.”

“Speak not thine blasphemy!” Silver proclaimed authoritatively. “The revolution has ended, and I have emerged supreme!” She gestured animatedly as she spoke.

“Easy there, Bell,” Thomas said. “Take it down a notch.”

“Bell? I know not this Bell you speak of,” she said, practically spitting her name out like it left a bad taste in her mouth. “I am none other than Silver… uh… Essence. Yes. I am Silver Essence, embodiment of elemental purity!”

Thomas looked between the mare on the throne who looked mad with power, to the tired mares beside him who looked like they might fall asleep at any moment. Then he looked to the throne. “Somehow I get the feeling this is all a microcosm of why everybody trusts the alicorns to rule.”

“More or less,” Luna allowed over her shoulder. She too yawned as her head rested against a pillow.

“Silence!” Silver shouted and gave her ‘throne’ a sharp slap to the behind, making it flinch. “Furniture does not speak, nor does it engage in subversive discussions with the unruly masses.”

Thomas stared flatly between Silver and her ‘throne’. “So how long is this gonna last, exactly?”

Luna hummed thoughtfully. “Until she abdicates the throne of her own accord, or-”

“Nevaaaaah!” Silver proclaimed with more ham than any pig farm could provide.

Luna scowled and narrowed her eyes on the mare currently using her as furniture. “Or she is forcibly deposed. Whichever comes first.”

A deep, snorty snoring caught Thomas’ attention. “Well it looks like the revolutionary army is indisposed, so I guess I’m on my own.”

“Hah! Fool!” Silver laughed. “What chance do you have against me, ME, the supreme ruler of all Equestria?”

Thomas tiredly smacked his lips together. His body felt heavy, meaning brute force was out of the question. “Any chance you’d take a bribe?”

“Cheh,” Silver scoffed. “What could you possibly offer that I, Silver Essence, cannot simply take for myself?”

“Luna’s secret porn stash?”

Silver’s ears shot up and even the other mares stirred from their slumber. “… wat?”

Luna’s eyebrow gave only the faintest twitch of interest, but she maintained her composure, curious to see where this was going.

“Oh yeah. Guess you didn’t know,” Thomas explained idly. “Back when it was just me and Luna, we actually tried our luck at drawing our own porn. It wasn’t too good at first, but Luna’s line work really took off after a while. I told her to draw the kinds of things she’d want to see, and let me tell you,” Thomas said with a devilish smirk, “the stuff that mare drew was naaaaasty.”

Silver gulped and licked her lips, her fingers anxiously digging into her arm rests. “W-where is it?”

Thomas grinned serenely up at the mare, ready to nock her off her high horse… Clever, he thought to himself. “We couldn’t simply destroy it after all the work we put in,” Thomas explained. “But Luna didn’t want such sloppy work getting out to the public. So, after talking things out, we agreed there was only one place in Equestria secret enough.”

“Where?” Silver asked, leaning forward.

“Somewhere secure enough.”

“Where?” Silver asked more urgently, leaning further forward.

“Somewhere not even Celestia would think to look.”

“Where?” Moonlight, Honey, and Surprise asked as one.

“A place no mortal eye has beheld in centuries.”

“Where?” the four mortal mares asked, their expressions demandingly anxious.

Luna had to stop herself from asking as well. She needed to know where Thomas was referring to, wondering idly if perhaps this hypothetical place, in fact, did hold some kind of treasure. However, she also noticed how far forward Silver was leaning. She smiled at how precarious the little bat’s position had become.

“Right under everyone’s noses,” Thomas continued, delighting in the power his words held over the mares. “Literally in your case.” He indicated the mare atop the ‘throne’.

Silver blinked and quickly looked around. “Where!?”

Thomas shrugged as if the answer should have been obvious. “Up Luna’s butt.”

Immediately Silver hopped down, spun around, and pressed her hands into the ample cheeks. She pushed them aside as far as they would go and leaned forward. She neared her target, eyes sparkling in wonder until her muzzle was less than an inch from Luna’s wrinkled star. The taste of alicorn ass had already filled her mouth by the time she opened it, ready to make some kind of profound declaration.

However, whatever improvised poetry Silver had planned would be forever lost when Luna farted. It was a low, prolonged, and thunderous rumble that sent ripples across her considerable backside. Silver immediately fell onto her back, coughing and gagging from the burst of poison that went down her lungs. Her hands were around her throat, looking like she was trying to strangle herself as tears ran down her burning eyes.

Thomas and the others watched with mixed emotions as the bat mare writhed on the sheets. Their expressions were utter fascination, but mixed with horror and, to a lesser extent, humor. The fart had, figuratively, come right out of nowhere, the surprise mixed with Silver’s explicit pain meeting the fundamental criteria of comedy. Even so, the harem dared not move an inch, too frightened to relinquish the imagined protections of their spectator status.

Still on her knees, Luna pulled herself upright. She popped her back and gave her wings an experimental flap. Her tail swished, fanning the scent around. Luna folded her wings back and looked over her shoulder to the so-called revolutionaries and would-be usurper. She beamed a wicked, sadistic smile. “Such is the fate of all who dare betray the Princess of the Night,” she purred, her voice dripping with a cruel lust.

The other mares flinched back, hands covering their noses. Thomas would have done the same, but his male fascination with foul odors demanded he see what the fuss was about. He tried not to make it too obvious as he nasally inhaled. The answer came swifter than expected and he flinched back, unable to hide his nostalgic smile. Smell is the strongest sense tied to memory, and this one brought the human back to his childhood when his parents would take him on long road trips. There was that distant, rancid odor that would sometimes rear up. His dad called it a skunk and Thomas never had the desire to verify. He merely accepted that somewhere, probably upwind, a skunk had used its God-given defense mechanism on some unlucky bastard and he was merely experiencing the diminished after effect.

Thomas tried to subdue his chuckles for the sake of politeness to the ladies, though. As he was well aware, pony senses were much stronger than those of humans. A part of him was still curious at what these mares must have smelled, but that part was overshadowed by raw amusement at their discomfort. Even their dagger glares condemning him for his mockery at their expense only added to his amusement. Words popped into the humans head; words that he felt perfectly surmised these previous moments and thus demanded to be shared.

“You guys are so weird.”

Cold, vengeful silence followed suit, with ambiance provided by the still gagging Silver. At least Luna thought it was funny.

Originally written back before Silver’s induction, this piece of filler fluff was rewritten in late 2017 to show the gang just hanging out and getting along on a slow night. I love stories where the characters are interesting enough that they can sit around doing nothing and its still compelling reading. This installment is nowhere close to some of my favorites on this site, but it’s still serviceable.

Funnily enough, after sitting and staring at the words for a while, uncertain of where to go as I ran through what was already written, the whole gossip thing just sort of wrote itself away. I wanted them to do more than just talk, for something interesting to happen, and then something interesting happened. I had no real idea what was coming until I found myself just as surprised as Luna by the silly turn of events.

Also, for all my Patrons, you can probably guess that I only remembered this chapter last minute, which is why it was so delayed making it to Patreon. I’d written it, shoved it in the back because I couldn’t quite figure out where to put it, and then forgot. Fortunately, I managed to remember in the nick of time.