Some time after my little altercation with Mufasa, I found myself once again traversing the woods. The sun was painting the horizon the pink it usually does by morning from what little I could see through the unending trees and the gentle tugging I was once again feeling on my mind, meaning that I had walked without pause for more than a few hours.

Fighting off the grasp of drowsiness resulting from me only having taken two short naps that lasted less than thirty minutes each since I’d gotten to this place, I pushed doggedly onward, knowing that if I had actually fallen asleep due to exhaustion here I likely wouldn’t wake up. The pointy shrubs of the brush nicked my skin as I passed, leaving tiny scratch marks along my exposed flesh that had miraculously healed and shown no signs of infection after the shenanigans with the pink-maned menace.

Damn bat-winged, scorpion-tailed, lion-like whatchamacallit having the audacity to tear up my clothes and leave me vulnerable to the elements. My hoodie was near-rendered useless now! Every cool morning breeze chilled me to the bone; each thorny bush that I got tangled in left small dots of red along my arms and ribs; every second that passed only made me feel as helpless as the day I was bo-

My internal whining was interrupted, rather rudely might I add, by the snapping of a twig. Fortunately, there were no more carnivores stalking me, ready to take a chunk out of my hide; unfortunately, though, the real reason behind why I gave so much attention to the useless piece of wood was because it had broken across the back of my head.

A startled shout erupted from me as I turned toward where I believed my assailant to be hidden, an annoyed scowl etching itself onto my visage as I found nothing. As I continued eyeing my surroundings, I heard something that made my heart nearly stop:

“Hoo.”

I one-eightied, nearly jumping out of my own skin, to find two familiar pairs of black eyes staring at me, all sparkling with mischief. My mouth began moving quicker than my mind had, apparently having already readied a response for this repeat encounter:

“Four-Eyes,” I accused as my eyes narrowed. I spat the name as though it were acidic, venom dripping from my very words.

“Hoo,” Four-Eyes cheerfully greeted from his inverted position. I’m guessing he was saying good morning or some good-natured tripe like that.

“Fuck you, you triflin’ little shit!” I was going to have none of it, though. “Ya toss me off of a damn tree and expect me to be all buddy-buddy wit’ you all of a sudden? That ain’t how things work! You lucky I didn’t lay you the hell out the moment I recognized you, 'cause I been pining to smack the shit outta something since I got here. And you, sir, are already pretty deserving of a broken jawline in my books!”

Four-Eyes reeled a bit at the hostility, as though it weren’t expected, lifting his hands in what I assume was to be taken as a placating gesture. “Hoo,” he calmly stated, his face going serious for a moment. He was likely telling me to get my panties out of their bunch, and I was willing to listen to what he had to say before I snapped him in twain.

“Well? I’m waiting,” I barked impatiently after a few seconds of tense silence. “You gon’ say somethin’?”

“Hoo,” Four-Eyes confirmed, his previous smile returning in full as he pulled another twig from… somewhere.

“What’re you doin'?” I queried, my eyebrows rising in cautious curiosity.

Four-Eyes looked from me to the stick, then back to me, his grin growing even wider.

“Hoo hoo.”

I took a step back, snarling as I realized what he was about to do. Instead of doing the smart thing and walking away, however…

“You better not-!” my sentence was halted as a loud thwack could be heard throughout the environs, followed by an enraged bellow.

… I stuck around and allowed this monkey to make a mockery out of me once again.

With all the dignity a man with wounded pride and a throbbing headache could muster, I launched myself at the grey-haired goon. Four-Eyes dodged out of the way by pulling himself back up into the tree, leaving me to fall ass-up when my chin hit the ground. And with that I could hear what was left of my already faltering dignity deflating like an air balloon with a leak.

“Hoo hahahaha!” the four-eyed fiend guffawed from above, perched in his little safe spot among the branches. I pushed myself to my feet and quickly jumped, reaching for the dignity-destroying dingus. He was low enough to the ground for me to almost grab his tail, but he moved it out of the way at the last second. I jumped again when it returned to its original position, only to stall myself at the sound of Four-Eyes’ uproarious laughter. The bastard was playing with me, and from the sounds of it he was getting quite a kick out of my plight. I fumed at the realization.

“Yo, get your ass down here so I can introduce it to my boot!” I threatened. I was only met with more laughter. I growled as my chest once again warmed, throwing myself shoulder-first into the tree. It hurt like a bitch, but it got the job done; the tree rocked back and forth, knocking Four-Eyes off balance and allowing me to once again grab for him. He quickly recovered, however, and like some kind of freaky gymnast reached over to another tree’s branch, complete with a somersault and a flashy twirl to top it off.

My jaw dropped for a moment before I remembered I was trying to strangle the nuisance, aggravation once again clouding my mind as I threw myself into that tree as well. Four-Eyes once again jumped to another tree, this time, though, swinging from branch to branch in what seemed to be an attempt to evade me. I quickly took chase.

As the nimble ne’er-do-well drifted from tree to tree from above, I kept pace from below as well as I could. I tore through bushes, sidestepped perennial plants, and vaulted over any sorts of flowers that glowed. The dull light that radiated from my chest shone ever brighter as I ran, seemingly fueled by my anger, as I pursued Four-Eyes.

Thankfully, there were no predators out at this time of day, so Four-Eyes and I had the forest all to ourselves; this fact made it all the more convenient for me as I had to stay on the ground in order to hope to keep up with my monkey friend; I could pay closer attention to him while he was above me and the obstacles that lay in my path as I ran along the dense vegetation along the ground.

One piece of shrubbery after another was torn asunder as I rushed through them, intent on ensuring I wouldn’t lose sight of the swift form of the grey-haired primate. Eventually, though, I stumbled over a pit I didn’t see in the earth. I quickly adjusted my footing so as to keep from twisting my ankle, landing on my back. As I hurried back to my feet, forgetting about the dirt now adorning my thoroughly ruined hoodie, I resumed my pursuit.

Four-Eyes howled from above, as though taunting me for my slip-up; I resolved that I’d repay him in full for all the humiliation that he’d put me through. I picked up my stride once again to match the speed at which he maneuvered from tree to tree, periodically glancing to the ground to make certain that no other hidden holes would halt me.

At some point during the chase, the monkey made a chirping noise that caught me off guard with its intensity. I spared another seething glance up at Four-Eyes before turning my head forward, letting loose a yell, and skidding to a halt.

There before me sat a gigantic pit that dipped deep into the earth. I couldn’t even see the bottom from where I stood. A small rock had been knocked loose by the disturbance and fell toward into the massive hole, and though I listened for it I didn’t hear it reach the bottom.

More howls sounded from above me, and I looked up towards Four-Eyes as he hung upside-down from another branch, blowing raspberries at me from afar. My fear was slowly replaced with a burning determination as I grit my teeth, knowing I was about to make one of the dumbest decisions of my life outside of walking into this forest. I stepped back a few yards before Usain Bolting toward the Pit of Doom, leaping over the colossal hole that led to what looked to be a perpetual fall into oblivion. I’d’ve probably starved to death before I hit the bottom, to be honest.

I nearly reached the other end, having to reach out to the opposite side to grasp the soft earth with my arms. I collided into the dirt ribs-first as I held onto the top-most soil, sliding further and further back toward the abyss. I tore out chunk after chunk of grass trying to get a handle on the ground to halt my backward movement; when I neared the edge I finally grabbed onto something that held, a victorious “Yes!” leaving my mouth. I spoke too soon, however, as not even a second later, the patch of grass crumbled in my hands.

Here I was, only one hand holding onto the edge of a descent into hell, while I flailed the other around in the open air in an attempt to find purchase on the ground. I finally made contact with another patch of hardened earth, using what strength I had to heave my top half over the edge before that, too, could fall to dust in my fingertips.

I pulled my knees up after and began crawling as fast away as I could from the Pit of Doom, shaking all the while. I had a deathly fear of falling, as every sane individual should. As I took a moment to regather my bearings, I heard another bout of cackling from above me. Bastard was still finding amusement in my dilemmas. I gave Four-Eyes a glare that would have killed any other being with its intensity before getting up and dusting myself off. He seemed to take that as the cue for the chase to once again resume as he continued running off into a random direction.

I followed Four-Eyes, my hot anger being fine-tuned to a cold rage as I imagined all the things I would do to him when I got my hands on him. We were entering a new area, and I could tell by the difference in the trees as well as the surrounding vegetation. Oak trees gave way to willows, cherry bushes soon morphed into bayberry, and the grass turned to a somewhat darker green.

This is where Four-Eyes finally stopped running. I skidded to a halt in the empty forest; for some strange reason none of the ambiance that I’d grown somewhat used to in the deeper parts of the forest carried on here. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but it seemed as though I had stepped into someplace…sacred.

Four-Eyes dropped down right in front of me, shocking me out of my small bout of daydreaming. I looked down to him, being a good two heads taller than the puny primate.

“Oh. So you’ve finally gotten sick o’ runnin’, huh?” I breathed, a malicious smile breaking across my face as I thought about how I would reduce him to a bloodied pulp. I casually popped my neck as I looked back down at him. “Well, get on over here and accept your ass whoopin’ like a man.”

As I stepped confidently toward Four-Eyes, he… he took up a combative stance; it looked like the stance a martial artist would take in one of those Ip Man movies or something. Now a little more cautious, I continued stepping forward, nearing the troublesome creature until I stood over him.

Much like in my showdown with Mufasa, we both stared at one another for an immeasurable amount of time. The morning sun was steadily rising over the horizon by now, its light shining through the trees and upon the two of us, both stars in the limelight preparing for our great debut. The gentle breeze blew the delicate leaves of the white willow trees past us in a quiet, harmonious dance as the forest caught its breath.

Only one of us would be walking away from this as far as I was concerned.

“I’mma tear you apart, you know that?” I asked as I looked down upon him.

Four-Eyes only narrowed his eyes in response, his once playful demeanor now replaced by an emotionless mask. He raised his arms, sliding his left foot back and turning it for leverage as he bent his forwardmost leg at the knee, using his tail to maintain his balance all the while.

“Hoo,” was his response. No mischief, no laughs, nothing. It was just a statement.

I raised my own arms and settled into a boxing stance, protecting my face since I was likely going to be making the first move.

“Alright then,” I said. “Let’s dance!”

And like that, the tranquility of the silent forest was shattered.