(Author's note: Thanks to Dalek IX, who provided part of this speech. I know a lot of people have been anticipating this, and I hope it lives up to expectations.)

United Nations Headquarters, New York City
1PM EST, January 27, 2018
The following is a complete transcript of U.S. diplomat Ellen Rowe's speech to the United Nations General Assembly.

For seventy-three years, the United Nations has worked to maintain peace between the peoples of the world, to protect universal human rights and liberties, and to bring international criminals to justice. I have always been proud to represent my country here, and I have always been proud of what we have accomplished. Today, we meet to carry out the most important task the U.N. has ever undertaken, perhaps the most important task it ever will undertake.

When visitors from another world arrived in ours, we greeted them as equals. We welcomed them, to our world, with open arms. How, then, did they respond? They insulted us. They passed judgment on us, deeming us unworthy of life. They have, through the use of a terrible weapon the likes of which we've never seen, attempted to utterly destroy us in a way previously unimaginable to us. Every day their barrier grows, swelling like a cancerous tumor that threatens our world.

You've all seen what they did to Cape Town. A city of nearly one million people, with a history spanning centuries, was wiped from the face of the Earth and its people left without homes by the actions of their princess, Celestia. Nothing remains of this once proud city. Ladies and gentlemen of the General Assembly, each and every one of you stands to have the same happen to your entire nation, to your entire species, if we falter here!

They want to destroy our bodies.

They want to destroy our minds.

They want to destroy our art, our music, our architecture, our history, our science, our technology, our monuments, everything the human race has struggled and toiled tirelessly to achieve since its birth, everything that we have ever striven for and found joy and meaning in! Through their actions, their arrogance, they have made themselves the enemy of every man, woman and child of planet Earth.

It is for this reason that the U.N. Security Council has unanimously passed a resolution declaring war with Equestria on behalf of all of humanity.

[Applause.]

We will not accept their surrender until the barrier between Equestria and Earth has been destroyed, and their corrupt aristocracy has been stripped of every last trace of power and made to answer for its crimes.

Already, every member of the Security Council has begun mobilizing forces to strike the barrier. I stand before you now to request that all of you, all the nations of the world, do the same. Humanity must stand unified against this threat, for whatever the outcome, we will all win or we will all lose together.

We ask that you lend your ships.

We ask that you lend your planes.

We ask that you lend your tanks, your guns, your missiles, your bombs, your steel, your oil, your soldiers, engineers, doctors, every last bit of support you can possibly spare to this battle. No commitment is too great when the price of failure is our complete annihilation.

I wish all the best of luck to the men and women who will soon fight for every last one of us.

[Standing ovation.]

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