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The Conversion Bureau: Not Alone

by Starman Ghost

Chapter 5: UN Security Council Debates War With Equestria (News broadcast)

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UN Security Council Debates War With Equestria (News broadcast)

NBC newscast, 8AM EST, January 21, 2018

The program opens, like the last one, with the square-jawed anchor sitting at his desk, but it's immediately obvious that he has nothing happy to report. There is no trace of his previous wonder and cheer; he is looking squarely into the camera and his expression is somber. A graphic at the bottom displays the heading "SPECIAL BULLETIN", and immediately below that, "UN Security Council Debates War With Equestria."

"With the whole world watching, pony representative Twilight Sparkle provided answers to the questions on everyone's minds that were nothing short of horrifying. It was one blunder after another."

As he says the last sentence, the program begins displaying clips of the interview. Twilight Sparkle and a middle-aged, lean man in a three-piece suit sit opposite each other in leather chairs. Both are smiling and their postures are relaxed and casual. The man speaks.

"I guess the question on everyone's mind is, why do people have to be ponies before they can visit Equestria? I mean, I'd like to think we've made you feel pretty welcome on Earth, no transformation involved."

Twilight's tail gives a light flick as she answers in a very matter-of-fact tone. "We've seen what your greed and corruption have done to your world. How could we possibly let you into Equestria?"

Then there is a series of cuts, giving a summary of the interview questions and answers. As time wears on, the man's jaw becomes set, his sharp, birdlike face betraying very little emotion, and he sits more and more rigidly. Twilight appears to be getting annoyed, her tail rapidly flicking back and forth and her stance shifting until she's very nearly standing on her chair.

"But why does being ponies change that? I mean, you let ponified humans in no problem."

"Ponification fixes all the problems with your people. We get rid of that pesky human nature and reconfigure you to live in harmony with others."

"Just why is Equestria claiming all the territory that falls into the bubble? Why is Celestia even expanding the bubble? That land belongs to the people who live there, and it's run by the leaders they freely elected."

"Look, that's all just human political nonsense. I think you'll find life is much better under the rule of the princesses than under any of your leaders. You'll be happy as her subjects, I'm sure."

"What about our culture? Can you answer that? I know that barrier doesn't let through any books, or movies, or, anything. What's going to happen to all our history?"

"I'm sorry, but they'll have to go. The ideas in your culture are too dangerous to Equestria for us to allow them in. All they would do is spread greed, violence, and hatred."

"Where are your freedoms, your liberties? Is it true that there isn't a single constitutionally protected right in Equestria? That the princesses can do whatever they want? You really think we'd want to live like that?"

"They're goddesses! Goddesses we know exist, I might add! Why should they be bound by laws? They decide what's right. We just trust them, and you should too."

The program cuts back to the news anchor.

"This interview, seen by a record number of people all across the world and subtitled in over a dozen languages, instantly sparked international outrage. Princess Celestia couldn't be reached for comment, but clarified in a letter that she stands by what Twilight says. In light of this, the United Nations Security Council began a meeting about an hour ago and is currently debating the idea of war with Equestria to stop what many are calling an attempted annihilation of the entire human race."

The program cuts to the charred, blackened wooden skeleton of a building, with a graphic reading "Firebombed Mar del Plata bureau."

"The conversion bureau buildings have already been a major target of backlash and outbreaks of violence. One Argentina facility in particular was destroyed by a firebomb sometime last night, and the others in the country have been picketed by protestors, preventing any staff or patients from entering. The country's authorities have made no attempt to track down and arrest the bomber, nor to break up the protests. Mar del Plata police chief Estavan Hernandez gives his reason for this lack of response, saying 'We can side with the people of Argentina or we can side with the ponies that threaten us. There's really only one thing to do.' He adds, 'The ponies haven't done anything violent yet, but if they do, we're shooting to kill.' This attitude has drawn criticism from both within and outside of the country."

The program cuts to a bush-colored pegasus with an electric blue mane. A graphic identifies him as Skyline, a Mar del Plata resident.

"Look, I didn't have anything to do with the CBs." His wings flutter a bit, apparently without him noticing. "But when people are bombing buildings, well, it scares me, you know? It's like, where does it stop if the police don't stop it? Am I next?"

The feed cuts to the Cape Town bureau. Several downcast ponies, Bedside Manner among them, are being marched out of it at gunpoint by soldiers.

"South Africa's been more proactive about dealing with the bureaus, probably not surprising since the Equestria bubble is expected to reach Cape Town within a week, erasing the four hundred-year-old city completely. As the country's military deports the Conversion Bureau staff back to the other side of the bubble, its emergency services are preparing for the evacuation of the hundreds of thousands who will be displaced by the destruction of Cape Town.

"Stay tuned for developments to this story as they unfold, right after this commercial break."

The newscast ends.

Next Chapter: Humanity Declares War (Speech) Estimated time remaining: 2 Hours, 25 Minutes
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The Conversion Bureau: Not Alone

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