Chapter 4 Finale: A Garden Inside of All of Us

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To her it was among the most diabolical things to ever grace the world. Stalwart and unchanging, its simple existence was an affront to her very way of life. Both wide and long, stretching on and on, but with a chilling emptiness, it whispered things to her. They were the kind of devil's deals one traded their soul for.

“This wall needs a mural....” The raider Savage Frisket Song declared, weak kneed, as her eyes drank up from the tall glass of pure whiteness on the wall.

“Boss, we don't have time.” A voice spoke out from the vibrant band of raiders she had lead into conquest.

She shot them a glare as she braced herself against monolithic expanse of shimmering alabaster. It was cool to the touch, the cheeks of her face pressed directly against it. She could barely stand due to her trembling legs.

Between the grime, and rust, and destruction, time had remade much of the world in its rusty artistic image. White was a rarity. She had even thought it went extinct, but here... here in catacombs of an MAS research facility, a chance specimen had appeared. Much of the walls in here had some level of damage, but this hallway was nearly pristine.

“But... it’s so long... and white...” she moaned. Her mind was brimming with possibilities, she had nearly forgotten how to speak. There was no place in her head for speech. Only muses could reach her in that land of infinite serenity.

“There are other walls, boss! If we don't vamoose, we are going to be the ones up on the walls,” one of Frisket’s underlings bantered back.

“What? No!” Savage cried. This was a chance meeting! Love at first sight! “I'm gonna be the one to put you up there if you try to separate me from this... big... beautiful, hunk of potential wonderment!” she said with indulgent glee as she oozed with artistic juices between her thighs.

As the tinging of ricocheting bullets and blasts from explosions approached from down the hall, Savvy's eyes widened. The riotous sounds of snarling hordes of raiders were just beyond the hall.

“Protect the wall!” Savage yelled as her ripper growled with fury. She and her raiders swarmed into defensive positions, ready for a fight.

As they prepared for the oncoming conflict, passing down at the intersection further down the hall, several fast-moving shadows passed tangentially to them. With the powerful beating of their leathery wing, they javelined down the halls.

“Rip their flesh! I’m hungry,” the lead pony growled, proudly flaunting his dagger-like fangs. “Their blood, their weapons, their souls! Their power becomes our own!”

As they swooped through the winding labyrinth, they closed in on a group locked in combat with the flesh-morphing aberrations.

A muscular unicorn with a burgundy coat, bound in thick, bladed armor, stood tall above one of the flailing abominations. Looking out from behind a bone plated mask, the raider grinned at the oncoming storm of bat ponies.

As the lead bat bucked their legs and the spring loaded lock released. A pair of blades burst out, extending from his wings. A short dive planted the bat pony hard against the ground for a quick moment. Flexing its wings back over his head, it clapped the blades together. From the metal-born sparks erupted a blazing arc. As the bat pony vaulted up into air, it torqued with its whole body, from its swinging hooves, to its clenching core, down to the tips of its wings. He descended, a tempestuous whirling death, his blades wreathed in flames.

In a separate lab down the hall, a ragtag gang bunkered down flank to flank behind tall golden tanks. There wasn't more than eight ponies between them and they hailed from separate gangs. As a group of zebras, coated in adornments made of gold, pinned them down with a barrage of enchanted bullets from the eastern flank, and crazed mob of psychopaths bombarded them with grenades on west end, a need became mutual. It was survival.

“You're one kind of an ugly looking bloke, aren'tcha?” the clementine mare said while stealing glances out over the large, modular dais that took up a large part of the room. Cords and cables snaked across the walls. Generators pumped power to the devices all around.

The crystal pony bastard stranded next to her spat. “You wanna fight? I can make you die ugly.”

“Oh, hush up, you half-n-half!” she said as gold bullets formed into jaws of teeth, sinking into the line of cabinets they were hiding behind. “The cancery rotting thing going over half your face has a good ne’er-do-well thuggery to it. It’s raider proper. Very fierce. I’m just stating that is not much for some desperado nobbing, is all.” The mare turned her head, examining the motley crew around her: a cowering mess... a savage tribal pressed in wait... a rather vehement looking goat, eating the flakes of scrap metal right off the floor... “By my bloody wasteland luck! What a 'pulsive lookin' lot you all are.”

The grizzled crystal pony growled, “A lot of hell-going words you've got. What do you think this is?”

She looked at him aghast. “Piss! That's what this is! I don't even want to think about dyin' if it isn't going to be romantic!” Her tied back locks of hair fell back to her shoulder as she brought a hoof up to the other pony's cheek. With judging eyes beneath the peculiar tricorne hat she wore, she examined his face. On one side, festering necrosis, not unlike that of a ghoul. On the other, cracked and jagged flesh that looked like gemstone. Fiery veins painted a glowing warpaint mask beneath the surface. More alluring was the exotic white-furred pelt wrapped across his shoulder, a dead hell hound's head watching over his shoulder. The crystal raider’s name was Arctic. “Maybe, if you just turn your face to the side.”

He knocked her hoof away. “I'll kill you,” he said with deadened eyes. The roots of the warpaint went from red to black.

“Oh, you're no fun!” she said, flicking the tassels that hung down from his shoulder.

“You don't even look like a raider.” Arctic retorted. “You want to be king? I doubt you know how to kill...” He had ripped open a cable running directly to the generator. The escaping sparks all coursing into his skin.

“It seemed interesting! A call to adventure! Swashbuckling! Mares! Feats of daring! That’s a right proper good time. Lady King of the Wasteland? I think I could enjoy that,” the clementine mare said with rippling bravado. “I always wanted to make myself King!” she said with a wink and a smile. Her name was 'Jailbird'.

“What a joke! You haven't got a horse in this race, let alone the legs to make it happen!” Arctic said as he gazed over at the crazy bomb-flinging ponies on his east flank.

Jailbird pulled a curved cutlass from a scabbard in her telekinetic grip. “Well, let me tell you this...” she said as she began waving the sword in the half-ghoul's face. “You can go an tell me all about the horses I don't have in these races, when you're bowing at my royal hooves,” she finished poking him gently with it. “Alright you piss-wallowing jacks! Listen up! I'm not about this whole death thing, so change of plans!” she belted with a maniacal grin.

Out from the cover, she stood. In a feat of telekinetic deflection, she passed a swarm of grenades mid-toss, as a generous gift to the zebras across the hallway.

Arctic sprang into action. Torquing his entire body, the steel ball attached to his tail swung out. The pulley device on it kept dispensing longer and longer lengths of chain as the high velocity morning star zoomed towards the bomb flinging ponies. He grinned as his body converted the coursing magic into pure electricity. The arcs of lightning traveled down the chain. The bolt of lightning jumped from the steel end, hunting out each of the raiders. Boom! An explosion ripped the group to pieces.

Arctic scowled. “You could have done that earlier...”

The swashbuckling mare smiled. “Well, it wouldn't have been as interesting! I like to do things... dramatically.”

There were so many stories in the winding trap of the MAS facility; at their crossroads, it opened war. In the hall on the other side of the lab, a pair of cackling raiders dicking around. How they had even got so far in this meat grinder of a place was something of mystery.

The orange raider popped pills as he snickered with his friend. One pony's neck had swelled to a disgusting size, the markers between chest, neck and chin having completely vanished. It was not caused by fat, but rather it was a thick layer of muscles, tensed, pulling the pony's entire face taut into a teeth-grinding scowl. Even if they tried, the folds of that face wouldn't change.

The pony slammed itself against the wall, forcing its hooves like tiny wedges beneath the heavy partition door and began yelling like some kind of wild animal. The muscular bulk flexed, and bulging veins popped all along the pony's head and hooves. As the monolith of a partition door slowly moved up, the raider tried with all his might to bend his iron face in hopes of achieving expression. However, the face refused its master's demands, and so he sat there staring with fervent intensity as the door was lifted up over his friend's head. In his defense, he had managed to burst a vein in his nose, sending blood trickling down his face. Technically, it could be argued that it served an expressive purpose.

As the raider held the door up, suddenly the pounding rhythm in his chest redoubled, and like some kind of bloody explosion, the pony's heart flopped out onto the floor. The two of them followed the still-beating heart with their stares as it bounced around like a fish out of water. They glanced back to each other, no longer giggling, but unable to express themselves.

My hoof splattered the heart as I came thundering out of the stairwell and through the door.

Hexerai thrashed through the passageway, her body stretched long into a centipedal form with what seemed like one hundred appendages to carve a macabre path toward her goals.

Calypto tucked his hat down, dropping his body low as we raced past the confused Buck-high raiders. It was not without a modest potshot from the zebra that we’d passed them by, the bullet ripping through the head of the shit-colored one. Buck-induced muscle tension kept the pony locked in rigor mortis.

With a flick of my tail, I wrangled a bouquet of borrowed grenades. It hadn't required much dexterity to fling the whole mass out behind us.

Hexerai had made it to the threshold before the fuse had detonated, but with a toothy smile, Calypto slung a bullet through the bundle of grenades. The erupting blast blew the petrified raider apart, causing the heavy blast door to come falling down on Hexerai. It came with a lovely squishing/snapping noise.

“Hey, don't let the door hit ya, where good ol’ princess split'cha!” I said, triumphantly prancing about. Even despite my panting, I was thrilled. I raised up a beckoning hoof to Calypto above me.

“That was lame, but I dig it,” Calypto said, wrapping his hoof around mine.

“So many tricks. You remind me of that damned princess.”

We turned to see Hexerai's flesh melt apart as she ripped a limb free of the fallen door. As blood dripped from the stump, the fluids swirled around to shape a new limb.

“Lady, you're trouble!” I said backing up. This wasn't fair. Just what did we have to do to stop this bitch? How do you kill the immortal? I was getting tired, I couldn't keep this up.

“Keep running. A century has left me in need of a little exercise...” the monster said with poisonous glee.

“She has a point.”

“Shut up, Apocalypto!”

“Hey, don't you go full naming me.”

“Passengers don't get to complain.”

I bolted down the passageway before I could see the chimera bitch rip her torso free of the guillotine door. We had a head start, but I was getting to my limit. The strain burning in my muscles was building up, and I had lost control of my breath.

I needed some kind of diversion, something to draw her attention. Was I thinking about this the wrong way? This isn't Killjoy, he couldn't control the rules of his body. This was my fight, and I dragged Calypto into this. If I ran out of steam, it would be better if one of us got out of this, right? I grit my teeth.

“Calypto, I want you to listen--”

“Shut up.” he fired back before I could finish.

“You were going to say something dumb,” Calypto said, turning back to gauge the distance we had to work with. It pissed me off - why did he have to read me so well? That was a dangerous thing. “Keep heading up, make a right, then take the next left. I've got a plan.”

It hit me. That would have been game over. I would have abandoned him… Either way, it would have been the end. I was beginning to realize just how hard it was to fight fate.

I was dead tired, but just hearing that thought scream in my head gave me the burst I needed to keep going. Hexerai was smaller this time, but it made her that much faster. Still, as I rounded the two corners, I caught a sign that read: “<--- Furnace, Morgue --->”.

“Y’know, I think I have a plan too,” I said as I barreled toward the furnace room. The path to heaven was straight through hell!

When Hexerai stormed in on lithe, reverse-jointed legs, wrapped in red short burst muscles, she found the room empty, but in disarray. “Am I supposed to think you left?” she spoke out. Her head and neck were the only things that were still equine about her, and the glowing blood seeped from the ravaged scars on the body that shred apart with how quickly she demanded it to change.

Her lips split longer than they should have, showing a shark-toothed grin full of glee: she knew that this was a cage with no ways out; she had us locked up, and the fun part of the game could begin. “It’s a dead end,” she said as her nose morphed into a long, canine snout. “I can smell you.”

She surveyed around, and we kept still in our hiding place, sweating and cursing our plan. We didn't have time to think or discuss what it would be.

“It's really just a game,” she said as she passed by every likely hideout spotl, her eyes darting around for any sudden movements we might make. She wanted us to be the ones to break out. “When we unite together, there will be a new world,” she said as she ambled past the blood-stained gurneys and control panels. “An elegant world, full of wonder, full of possibilities, full of life. And it will come, whether or not you insist on playing these inevitable games.”

She turned her head at a creaking sound, but there was nothing there. She might not have understood, but “hide and seek” too was a game, and a game that wastelanders liked taking very seriously.

“Why play a game, you know you are going to lose?” she said as she lunged, and my heart stopped.

“hmph...”

Behind the control panel was a haphazard assortment of junk: a pile of broken glass, plastic ware, and wastefully discarded foods... but none of it was a pony.

“If it’s inevitable, why are you trying so hard?” I called out from my hiding place.

“What did you say?!” she turned about in furious confusion, sniffing at the air to find my scent but mysteriously coming up dry.

“Over here, bitch!” said Calypto, who was covered in a dirty coat of ash. He threw a small earthen looking pellet that exploded in a cloud of incense.

Hexerai writhed as the strong scent overpowered her nose. The horn atop her head sparked as it let out a wave of air that dispersed the cloud. “Disguising your scent with ash... was a nice trick, but...” she said, coughing, “you gave yourself away.”

“Did I?” Calypto shrugged.

Hexerai’s body lined with teeth as she primed to jump.

Calypto coughed, “Roses are red. Candy is sweet. You’ll fit in the fridge if we cut off your feet!”

Like an explosion, I lunged out from behind Hexerai. Some part of me didn't think this plan would work. Hexerai shuddered and slid as I crashed into her with the fridge's door swinging wide open. She had opted for a sleeker form to be able to catch up with us, but she was small enough that she could be shoved inside. Years of travelling had taught me how to pack things efficiently.

With the protruding claws at the ends of her limbs, she braced against the fridge as I tried sandwiching the door closed on her. For being little, she was still incredibly strong! As she struggled her body began to desiccate and thin, it was as if watching a pony starve for weeks in an instant. Her bones shifted and changed in bursts of blood. “Out of my way. Stop trying to stop what is already in motion.”

Her words turned into shrieks as Calypto blew a cloud of ash-like dust at Hexerai, causing her body to react with anaphylactic spasms, stopping her mid-mutation.

I bore down, but a magic bolt struck me from the side. My forearm started to fester as bloody-eyed rats manifested from nowhere and crawled all over me. As I panicked, Hexerai threw me to the ground with an oversized fiddler crab-esque claw. She turned away from me.

“Linux!” Calypto shouted as he rang his spurs in the background.

“It’s finally time,” she said, looking towards Calypto as her body morphed out of control.

She hadn't noticed the metal jaws of the furnace door open up behind her. I had been waiting for a good time to say these magical words. I tackled into her, bracing my hind leg against her, and grinned.

“It’s Party Time.”

A blitz of magic force and confetti erupted from my back hoof, catapulting her deep into the maw of the industrial furnace. She hit the back with a clang.

She didn’t even have time to react.

Calypto pulled a lever on the control panel, and the heavy mechanical doors chomped down. “Light'er up!”

The electric snake dove from Calypto's computer into the control terminal. The buttons on the terminal flickered erratically, and in short order the low rumble of fire echoed out from the furnace.

Calypto came limping over with the same “piss in the face of danger” grin that I had on. “Who you gonna call?” He said swaying around like some kind of happy maniac.

“Get over here you, you majestic, striped bastard!”

Linking hooves, we spent a good moment hopping on one hoof in a circle. It was an absolute necessity. We’d just beat up a foal's nightmare! Zebra children across the wasteland rejoiced. Most of all, we were alive! The wasteland smiled on us. What's-her-face could take her stupid utopia, and piss off!

We raved around for a while, chanting unintelligibly like rapture-possessed children. In the excitement we dragged each other to the ground. As we lied on our backs on the ancient, decrepit floors of that abandoned MAS facility, Calypto spoke out. “There is no way she is dead.”

I turned to look at him. “Please shut up.”

“She is a loose soul, she is probably going to find another body out there,” the zebra said, with a smile that betrayed his words.

“Don’t kill this moment. We won, she’s well-done, that’s all I want to hear right now.” I laughed with a gripping wonderment in my eye. “That was a work of art back there!”

“We got her toasty.” Calypto chuckled.

“Downright crispy!”

“Stick a fork in her, am I right?”

“I feel so damn alive right now.” I said gasping.

Calypto turned to me, his hat completely off his head with crazy, bedraggled hair crisscrossing his face. “We should be dead!” he said with wide eyed glee, “I mean, we didn't even get to conspire plans, how are we alive?!”

“I didn’t have any clue where we were going. Imagine if I’d made a right turn. We should have died, but then you just had to be brilliant,” I said, lacking the calm to keep my hoof from shaking with violent enthusiasm as I pointed at Calypto.

He turned over to his side with an enthusiastic escape from his usual cool-headed demeanor. “I thought you were crazy when you started dumping buckets of ash on me, but that saved our dumbass little hides. She was going to kill you, then she was going to kill me!”

“Can we please please talk about your voodoo zebra super powers?” I cut in. “Is there anything you can’t do with that?”

“Well, I can’t shove a formless nightmare creature into a box with it, that is for certain!” Calypto said, struggling to talk and grin at the same time.

“I didn't know what you wanted me to do, but I figured that was exactly what needed to happen!” I said as I shrugged with unparalleled fury. I threw my hooves over my head. “Do you think the wasteland is going to be mad that we didn't die?”

Calypto flipped the hat back onto his head. “They better get used to it, since we are going to be partners.”

I smiled. Mission accomplished. I jumped back to my hooves. “You haven't even heard the terms of the job!”

“Who cares?! We are an unstoppable team!” he said as he struggled to pull himself up off the ground. We laughed nefariously... like comic book villains. It was wonderful. “And besides, we are on the same wavelength...” he said as he hopped over beside me, wrapping a single hoof around my neck. With his leg injury, he clearly needed support. “The way I figure, you will know what I want, and will want what I know you know that I know that I want.”

“Don’t go getting scared on me. Your first job is to help me keep my job,” I laughed. “Something is going down in this town, I said as I looked away. I had been so nervous before, I had failed to notice these strange crystalline roots that were covering the floor. They were glowing bright blue. “And I was crazy enough to agree to help save it.”

“I knew I liked your business sense. I was going to do that anyway, now that I know I’m getting paid for it,” Calypto added, turning his hat down. “So now let’s get to business.”

“Right.” I nodded. “Pharoah’s at the heart of this. ” Just thinking about the guy made my words curdle.

Calypto turned to me with a quizzical look. He kept his gaze as he spat a bottlecap out in the other direction. Had that been in his mouth this whole time? Calypto was a zebra of many mysteries. “What's he like?”

“He's a ghoul.” I said, barely opening my mouth enough to separate my teeth.

“I've dealt with ghouls before.” Calypto sneered at me.

“He's a ghoul from before it was cool.” I said.

Calypto's jaw slackened just a bit and his eyes widened.

“He's been playing the game a long time, and when you lurk around that long, you get ideas, and you get smart. He is really good at getting inside of ponies' heads. He has a plan… I just know it. He is raising up a raider king, but why is he doing it?” Thinking of him made me angry. He was an infuriating pony to deal with. I could link many of my problems back to that pony. “Whatever is going on here is going to play into his grand plan.”

“Raising up a Raider King? Is he going to try to take over the world?” Calypto asked. It was funny how you could read a pony (or a zebra) just on how they said their words. I could feel his agitation at the word 'Raider King.'

“He is definitely the type, I wouldn't put it past him...” I said as I brought Calypto to the ground. “But that isn't what bothers me. He wants the raiders to get something here, but what is he trying to get at with it?”

“I couldn't tell you,” Calypto said. “So what are we going to do about it?”

“I figure you're up with popping the heads of raiders,” I said as I took my kerchief and wiped off my face.

“I tend not to like when they keep coming back,” Calypto said. “I'm not equipped to deal with all of these spirits.”

“Calypto, I don't think either of us were equipped to deal with any of this, and both us still ran headfirst into this thing,” I said, turning back to him.

Calypto paused and stared at me from the ground. “You know, I never thought about it that way.”

“It didn't bother you before, don't let it bother you now,” I said as I looked around the room. Much of my food had been compromised by the incense bomb.

“For a ground-hugger, you are really fond of winging it,” Calypto said as he began tugging at the bindings on his broken leg.

“I roll with the punches,” I said as I gave up on salvaging the food and turned back to Calypto.

“So, now you want me to help kill all the raiders?” he asked while adjusting the bracing pipe on his leg. “I thought you said we couldn't kill all of them?”

I threw myself over a control panel. The tone of our conversation had shifted. I think we were entertaining the thought of needless dramatics. “Never said we were going to kill 'em.”

The zebra pulled his bandage tight with a degree of skepticism. “Dead raiders don’t raid. In my experience, it’s the only real solution. How are you gonna stop it without killing them?”

“Didn’t say I wouldn’t kill ‘em, either.” I leaned in towards him, hanging onto the terminal. “These raiders are digging like crazed dogs, searching for buried treasure,” I said, taking back to my hooves and walking past Calypto. “So what happens when we blow up the treasure island?”

Calypto paused as he judged me. He rose to his hooves. “I like this plan.” He grinned. “How?”

I let myself slouch back as I mused. “Can't say I know for sure, but if luck has it, a madpony laboratory would have something like a sparkle reactor. You just turn the oven on, and let it bake.”

“No good.” He shook his head. “No reactor.” I raised an eyebrow as he continued, “Found some documents at the Town Hall. Said this town had too much of an affinity for disasters.”

“No kidding?” My slouch became more of a slump as I shrugged. “Well, fuck.” Maybe I was a bit hopeful. I was willing to gamble on ingenuity. “Sabotage is kinda like an art form. There has to be more than one way to send this place spiraling. We need to get creative.”

“You really are a sickening sort,” Calypto said with a laugh. “I've got something to help with your kind of thinking.”

I wasn't sure what I was expecting, but I think I started twitching as he began pulling the things out of his pack. One by one, he stacked them up into a bewildering tower. He just kept pulling them out. After three or four, it should have become a boring routine to keep watching, but reason refused to believe each successive item. Conceptually, they were the type of thing a post-end pony might think of as an urban legend, and to see this many here together in one place was like a fairy tale. I held back my bangs just to gawk at it all. “Oh... that kind of eggs.”

“They were a gift from a guardian angel.” Calypto stroked his stubble. “I got a dozen of ‘em.”

“That’s not a dozen…” I said gawking at the horrific stack of eggs, counting them a third time in my head just to be sure. “That’s a baker’s dozen…”

It was horrifically appropriate. “Well, I can’t say I’m not impressed,” I said as I opened up the fridge. The labels on the inside, 'Pandora' and ‘GECK’ stared back at me as I loaded each one up. It was a good thing I had made space earlier....

“Tumbleweed...” Calypto’s brow furrowed with morbid fascination as he watched me stack up the eggs. “Why is there a severed leg in your refrigerator.”

“There’s a what in my what now?” My attention snapped down, and there it was. A beautiful green leg, attached to a whole lot of nothing, peeking out from an ice cooler. I got so used to it that I’d totally forgotten about it! It just seemed to fit in there. “Oh, right, that! This beautiful specimen is a valuable bargaining chip.” I picked up the leg in two hooves and cradled it. “I have plans for you.”

“Watch it, you’re being creepy,” Calypto said as he snatched the hoof from me. “Wait a second…” His eyes pored over the leg. “This is a mare’s leg.” His pupils dilated. He leaned his head in to sniff the leg. “I have the strange feeling I’ve met this leg before.”

I nearly fell over at Calypto’s fascination with the leg. “Now I get why I shouldn’t be creepy!” I clenched my hooves to my chest. “You’re much better at it than I am!”

“Where did you find this? Were there more of them?”

“Of course there were, what kind of question is that?”

“Good,” he nodded. His eyes shifted back and forth. “You didn’t steal this from the poor mare, did you?”

“Who do you take me for?”

Calypto put one hoof up in smug surrender. “I don’t know your interests.” Calypto smiled. “You could have a leg fetish.”

“I don’t…” A bead of sweat dripped down from my temple as I choked on my own words. “Well, kinda… but this and that are totally unrelated, I assure you.”

“I’ll be the judge of that.” Calypto sternly glared.

“Does it matter?” I said leaning in, aggrieved at the interrogation..

Calypto raised an eyebrow. “Where’d’ya get the hoof?”

“I found it,” I bantered.

“On a mare?” Calypto was judging me.

“Well…” I snickered. “At one point it was on a mare.” Calypto was staring daggers at me. “Calico, the alicorn gal, cut it off.”

“I remember her. Almost killed her, but she got away,” Calypto said nodding his head with a bizarre nostalgia. He then looked back at the hoof. “I want to meet this mare, and the rest of her legs.”

“Alright, Prince Charming,” I said as I reached over. “Can you quit groping the leg?”

Calypto recoiled as I reached. “She has fine legs. I would protect her, and never let harm come to her.”

“Give it back.”

“It’s gonna get all puffy.”

“Fine…”

Calypto relinquished the leg, begrudgingly. We were both tired and a bit looney, so it was fine.

The zebra took a few steps around, testing out his own troubled leg’s limits. Side by side, we strode over toward the threshold, where the glowing blue veins formed on the ground. We knew that if something was at the heart of this glorified thunderdome, these roots would lead us to them. It was instinct.

I paused in my preparations as my enthusiasm fell back to earth. “I’m worried.”

“Worry solves nothing.” Calypto took a moment to reload the bullets in his gun’s cylinder. I was just surprised that he still had bullets.

“Can I tell you something?” I grit my teeth. “Something you’re not going to like.”

Calypto tilted his hat back up. “Be real with me.”

“Hexerai told me that I can’t die tonight...says it’s not in the cards.” I laughed. “Guess I should feel happy about that… right?” I said trying to hold composure.

Calypto looked at me and grinned. “So I am going to die, huh?”

“Scapegrace, too.” I slammed my hoof against the control panel. “I don’t believe in fate, but between Hexerai and this oracle guardian you talked about, it makes me worried...”

Calypto flipped the cylinder back into his revolver and gave it a spin. “So be it.”

“I want to fight it.” I held my hooves to my head. “I don’t like being told that I can’t do anything about it. There have just been so many things that seemed too wild to have been coincidences tonight.” I shook my head. “Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything at all.”

“Have I told you about my village? About my people?” Calypto said as offered me a cigarette.

“Nah,” I muttered as I took the cigarette in my mouth. “I don’t know a damn thing about where you came from.”

“I came from a tribe of diviners, blessed by the spirits of the all-seeing third eye,” he said as he threw the cape of his sarape to the side. He paused after seeing me glare at him.

“Do I need to open up the furnace or are you gonna give me a light?” I grumbled.

Calypto snickered as he produced a lighter. “Fate is a powerful thing, and my tribe respected it. They used their gifts to cast away any threat to their village in this foreign land.”

“Are you trying to tell me to just accept it?” I growled as I blew a tail of smoke.

“If I was, would I have ever left?” Calypto said with a smug air of resolve. I didn’t reply. “They had their eyes too focused on stars and bones and sticks, they couldn’t see the ponies suffering around them.”

“I thought having only one ludicrous shaman in my village was bad. They must have driven you nuts,” I said as I looked over my friend. He was so resolute, even in the face of being told he would die.

“They told me there would only be suffering if I left the town, and I would die trying to save the lives of strangers.” Calypto struck his own cigarette and took a long drag. “Even if they are right, I’d rather die than sit down doing nothing.” Calypto looked me in the eyes. “It doesn’t matter what fate says. I’m going to do what I set out to do. They called me a ‘fool’, but that’s my foolish code.”

I stood up and lined myself up next to Calypto. “Well, we’re just a couple of idiots, then.” I shrugged as we looked out. “Good. Fuck fate. We’re gonna get through this.”

“We should get going. We need to find Scapegrace too.” Calypto said as he took his hat off and stroked a hoof through his hair.

Somehow that noir feeling had seeped back into our approach, because we stood their as if we were trying to make sure we started off on the same hoof.

I glanced over to my friend. “Caliphate...” I said, taking a moment to grin. “A severed leg, a carton of eggs, and we are trying to blow up a perfectly good building, while we are standing inside it. Spittin’ in the face of destiny. Do you think we might be a bunch of crazy dorks?”

Calypto kept looking forward as he produced another cigarette from his pack. Lighting it, he took a long drag. He spat smoke in a fine plume. The response was quick and firm. “Don't ask questions you already know the answer to....”

We were total dorks, but to us, we were the coolest bastards in the entire wasteland. Having a kindred spirit felt powerful. I think I had questions as to what had possessed me to come to this town earlier. From where I stood right now, it all seemed reasonable. It was a rare feeling worth the gamble, and we would ride that feeling straight to the heart of these Equestria raider games. With the morgue that was down the hall, the dead were crawling up just to welcome us.

“So, what happened with Scapegrace?”

“Uhhhh...”

“Is she okay?”

“Uhhhhh....”

“Calypto....”

I get the feeling the undead didn’t like being ignored.

*** *** ***

The night burned on in the labyrinth. Several murderous goons, in refined combat armor and weapons beyond their worth snickered as they looted the bodies of their victims. The real challenge of course had shifted from killing to figuring out how to get their prizes from the bodies of the flailing dead.

As the group slinked up and around the corner, a pale green earth pony with bright red eyes held up a hoof. Not a single bastard even dared step out of line, and not single one who had ever been foolish enough to step out by accident was alive to tell about it.

Crossfire watched the corner, peeking around with the mirror on the back of his hoof. He grinned at the reflection of a hunting turret, waiting silently for its prey.

Taking a grenade in the sling of his tail, he pulled the pin. His senses zeroed in on the distance between the fuse of the grenade. Letting it bake for a moment, he let instinct and experience take hold. As if without thought at all, his body devised the necessary formula for explosive objects in motion. The angle of trajectory, the amount of force exerted, the angle of rebound, degree of spin, and the moment of detonation all were calculated in and around the obstacles and forces acting on the grenade sending it bouncing directly underneath the rotating base of the turret. The concussive blast ripped it free of its supports, and sent it clattering against the floor.

“Tsst tsst” he clicked with his mouth. To any outsider, it was a strange sound, but not unlike the sounds of bugs in the nighttime, but when he made it, his squad refined their focus all on him. Without even turning around he waved a hoof forward.

Passing across the root-laden halls, the group rallied around an open lab. “Beta, Gridlock, you're on watch. Everypony else, I want this room scoured. Leave the computers to me. You find something interesting, point it to me,” Crossfire said, his voice reeking of control. He spoke in a soft quiet voice, but never did he whisper. Whispers travel.

With machetes and entrenching tools, the group hacked through the black vines, disappearing into the lab.

“One by one, they are dropping out… and yet its getting hot enough that my senses are burning out. Keep searching… we’re getting closer. I can smell it.”

“Ugh…” I recoiled as I read the scuff marks and bullet holes on the ground. “I can smell Crossfire’s radical militarism from here.” I mumbled to myself. Pointing down a different route, we followed the strange luminescent road further inward. That was a fight I wanted to avoid if I could.

The glowing roots lead us deep into a strange part of the facility. A card locked door was blown free with a glowing sunburst sigil upon it. Calypto's oracle friend seemed to want us to go inside. I wasn't sure how much I trusted her. The sun was not exactly a symbol of the wasteland.

We slipped in and hugged the sides as another raider group brawled out among more of the nasty less-than-dead freaks. “Taffagaunts,” Calypto whispered.

“Not feeling it.”

“They are like taffy.”

“What kind of taffy do you eat? How about 'Pusmonkeys'?” I retorted.

“Bloodmonkeys?”

“Now, that just sounds silly.”

“They are silly.”

“I'm just gonna call them 'dorks.'” I said as we sneaked along the computer circuitry in the room. There were tables with spell circles carved into them that looked like they came from a more magical bygone age. A mechanical claw-like arm hung lifelessly over top of the table. It had arcane coils lining into a mess of unicorn matrix bullshit, and three gold plated talons arced out from it, converging on a crystal speartip in the center. Down the claw’s body was an array of talisman gems, linked with silver plated circuitry. It had all sorts of strange flourishes and protruding doodads, none of which I could give any guess as to the purpose of.

“This place is like the temple of doom,” Calypto whispered to me.

“That thing right there...” I pointed to the scary claw table device. “I'm no expert, but I'd bet that thing scienced the crap out of ponies. That thing takes souls.”

We kept moving as the raiders turned from one type to another. There were black vines tracing the perimeter too, now. “How many times do I have to fight a fucking vegetable?”

“Five a day.” Calypto smirked as he watched the raiders kill each other. Somehow I think he was just fine as long as raiders were dying.

We saw a shimmering capsule in the room that carried a floating image of dream catcher. It had a weird fracture in it, and it was wavering. On a flickering screen it featured an image of a woven web and burning tire. Were they combining those things? What was the point? “What the hell is any of this?”

“This is nightmarish.” Calypto said as he put a hoof up to the containers.There were more emblems in tubular containers. Some were distorting and twisting out of shape, some grew out of control. They seemed like they were bleeding. “I'm surprised you aren't freaking out yourself.”

The fighting died down along with the raiders.

We came across a large wall of iridescent symbols locked in a vault-like grid. They were erratically thrashing in their cages, shifting in imbalanced chaos. “What exactly am I looking at?”

“Those are cutie marks. Souls,” Calypto said as he looked back at the approaching horde of necrodorks.

I nodded with wide eyes. “Well, look at that... an actual temple of doom.”

There was a loud crash that sounded from the previous halls. Latching the fridge back in place, I looked back at Calypto. “Come on, we should keep moving.”

“Our pain... tainted this world, join us...” a group of those things clamored as they inched closer.

“Seriously, these guys just travel in packs,” I muttered. Calypto put away his guns so he could limp with a little more vigor.

There were a ton of those bastards. We could avoid looking at them in one-on-one fighting, but with so many, it would just be a bad idea. Just locking eyes with one of them could end the fight before it began. Running over to Calypto, I helped him walk.

“We can bottleneck them at the door,” Calypto said as we moved. They were getting faster, like they were adapting to their new forms. It was like a banquet for these monsters’ necrotic evolution - so many dead and dying.

We were ready for the worst as we scrambled over the glowing blue lines on the ground toward the doorway, but when we got there, they just gave up. There were maybe twenty or thirty of them, crawling over machines and desks, but they all just stopped several meters from the door.

“Whatever these roots are, they are afraid of it,” Calypto stated. “Trust me.”

“Well, if they are gonna be so polite, I won't complain,” I said.

They just watched as we carried on. It was unsettling.

We walked along the trail of azure veins that lit up the ground, taking us out of the lab. Having a reliable shield and four working legs, I played vanguard as we trekked through the halls. Lighting was shoddy here, and as we kept moving further in, it seemed as though the noises outside had got quieter.

As I was walking, my hoof snagged on something, and the ground came up to hit me in the face. “Wha- damn it.”

It was too dark to see what it was, so I nudged the thing where the light from the blue tendrils lit up the floor. “Look at that,” I muttered. It was somepony, emphasis on the past tense, or at least that is what I thought. “They look dried out,” I said, poking the corpse; the skin fractured apart at the touch of my hoof.

“There is a spirit inside that,” Calypto said.

My hooves recoiled at the thought. “Eek,” I muttered with little enthusiasm.

“But they aren't doing anything,” Calypto said as he got up close to it. I think that meant I was allowed to go on poking it.

“This guy is crispy, but not in a burnt kind of way. Kind of as if something stuck a straw in him, and just drank him dry,” I observed.

Having better eyes than I had, Calypto caught sight of the weapon and armor at the corpse's side. “This was a raider...”

“You are telling me this was recent?” I asked.

“It would have to be,” Calypto said. “We are getting close to something.”

As I was poking around at the corpse's desiccated skin, I cracked off a solid chunk of it. “Well, damn.” There were the same glowing blue crystal tendrils crawling up the bone of the corpse's skull. “It is how they say - nothing good ever came from the prewar.”

Any sane pony would have looked at this, said 'I didn't know that this was on the list of things I would not be willing to deal with today, but hey! Look at that! There it is!' and turned the hell away, but the sane just didn't make it in the wastes. Adventure! We kept a watch out, following the veins which had carried over to walls.

“Woah!” Something had snagged my leg. It felt like some kind of thick cable. There was something that was crossing over the trails of sapphire glow, blotting them out. It was something familiar.

Out of the dark, a black and green thing snapped at me. It was about to latch down on me with its jaws, but I barely managed to substitute the fridge in my stead. I’d got a good look at the thing - it was another one of those black thorny plants. I could barely keep my balance as it pulled. I wrestled, but soon enough I was being dragged through the halls.

“Tumbleweed!” I could hear Calypto yelling as the mouthy vine went on retreating back into its lair, my weed-wrapped self tumbling against the corners, corpses and other debris.

The flytrap dropped me in the middle of an open chamber as my fridge broke free of its latching. There were two stubborn emergency lights that actually gave light in this room, so I could see what was going on. There were several of them... the small lashing trapper plants, and in the dark, wrapped around some kind of statue, there was the acid dripping flora. The plant before me, the one that’d just released me, seemed to have been drinking its milk, because it was much larger than the last one I had fought with Scapegrace.

One of the plant-like mouths jumped in at me, but I ducked and clamped its jaws shut. I would need something to fight these things with. I stomped over the plant as I reached for the discarded fridge. Suddenly, there was a turquoise glow that illuminated down the thorns of the creature, and a line of burning chains lashed out at me.

What in the...These things did magic?! I wanted to put them even lower on the food chain just for that. These were not good for my health.

I slipped around the chains when I found myself surrounded by the mouthy flytraps. They opened up, and spat out heavy gas that left me wheezing. I could feel my heartbeat getting slower, and my hooves made a veto decision to just give out on me. Damn it, I was fading! This wasn't a good place to sleep!

“Get the hell out of my way!” That eccentric zebra stumbled in, like he had no concept of self-preservation.

One of the plants slithered toward him, but as it pounced, he splashed some strange powder over the plant and it just halted in this weird way, as if it was pondering the existential crisis of realizing it was a plant. It looked very perturbed.

A lashing vine knocked Calypto to the ground as he was drawing his revolver. As the vines lit up again, he saw something I didn't. It wasn't something I would have particularly noticed. By his vicious instinct, he drew his gun to the figure, but a split-second doubt threw off his aim, letting the bullet fly clear of the target. By the time he had caught onto it, he cursed himself. He had done it again.

There she was…Midnyte, the mare with three legs, wrapped up in a weave of vines, drenched in sap. It was casting her magic. These things controlled pony magic. Hot damn. She grit her teeth as the light surging through the thorns carried into her horn, and a fiery blast erupted from it. Calypto ducked, tucking his hat down to shield himself from much of the heat. Their eyes crossed as she panted at the stress.

It surged again and chains wrapped around my limp body. I could barely keep awake, despite all my efforts.

Calypto raised his gun, lining up a bullet to go straight through her head. But the gun wouldn't fire. He wouldn't fire. His stripes seethed as he glared his intent down at her. He should kill her, he told himself. A raider in the wastes only cried irradiated tears. They were a byproduct of a poisoned road, that nothing living should have followed. She needed to die. It wasn't even a question. One bullet, straight through the head, and it would make the wasteland better. It was how it should be. It was infuriating to think that it would be any other way. It wasn't any different from all of those that had come before. This was his decision. So why did it feel so wrong?!

“You, raider bitch!” he shouted. “I don't owe you anything!”

The thorns were lining up with magic. These chains were about to get really hot. After a life of sauteing vegetables, I couldn't help but feel that this was some kind of vengeance. “Don't...” I barely managed to mumble. “Killjoy would get pissed... I don't want to deal with him being pissed...”

I don't think Calypto heard me. The chains started to burn, and although I had a few layers, I was going to rotisserie fairly quickly.

Calypto's hoof shook as he held it out. He was the kind of zebra that was possessed by what he saw, and in her, he didn't see a raider. First impression was a poisonous vision for the mind, and Calypto had already encoded her in his mind as a civilian. He cursed himself, because some part of him knew this was a simple issue... but it toyed with the very code that guided him through the wastes.

“You are a lying, murderous, despicable piece of equine waste!” he snarled, his spit catching on his words as he forced them through his teeth. “This is your justice.”

It was probably the worst thing that she could do, and she probably did even realize it. Taking heavy breaths, she looked at him with tired eyes. He could see her face swelling, and the subtle glisten at her eyes as she held back her tears. She nodded to him, with a weak, recoiled smile.

“ARRRRRGGGHHHH!” Calypto screamed as he tossed himself around. One bad step on his broken leg sent him toppling down. He yelled as he tossed his gun across the ground. He couldn't do it. It was a mockery of that essence that he had devoted himself to. “You don't know anything!” he barked. Taking to his hooves, he dragged himself towards her. He wore his rage on every part of his body. “Don't give me any that. You don't understand-- you can't! I'll kill you with my own hooves.”

Even as he inched forward, a heavy vine struck Calypto from behind, knocking him down. As the ambient glow of the thorns carried up the vine to Midnyte, her tears came rushing forth.

Damn it. I couldn’t stop anything like this. Calypto was going to die, and I was going to watch. Still… I could barely fight.

The burning pain kicked through my sedation. I think I was beginning to realize something. This was the thing Calico was afraid of. I struggled the best I could in a vain attempt to break free. Fate has no chains on me. Fate has no chains on me.

“Partytime!” I screamed, but there was nothing. No force, no confetti, no comeback. It wasn't partytime...

I didn't have the strength. I wanted it more than anything, but wanting didn't make it so. Soon, I was going to be burned up, and somehow, I wasn’t going to die.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw one of the grinning, gas spewing plants fall flat to the ground... severed from its vital stem. A moment later something jabbed at my back, and the chains fell apart, dropping me to the ground.

“Sorry! Tried catching you...” a familiar voice said.

I thought it was Hexerai at first. She was distorted and decked in blades. It was strange to see how much a pony could change in a day. Between the malleable crystal pincer that was jutting out of her hoof and the headstrong look in her eyes, it was hard to believe it was her.

“Scapegrace?”

“Did'ya miss me?” she said as her coat fluctuated between a brighter orange tint and a confident magenta. The heads of the plants seemed to back off from her aura of light. “I just keep saving you....”

“Hey…” I mumbled in drowsy stupor. “When do I get to save you?”

She walked forward towards the core plant. “Never. I don't think I want that to happen.”

I was getting the worst kinda feeling in my chest, and it was pleasant. It was dangerous. Especially because she was going to get herself killed! Sweet vindictive wasteland, everything was falling apart.

The coiling black flower reared its head over Scapegrace, its three stamen tongues thrashing about. The turquoise aura ran down the row of thorns towards Midnyte, and her eyes went white with magic. Scapegrace morphed her hooves back to normal. “I didn't think it would be this easy.”

From a burning vortex, a searing spear of green fire lashed out at Scapegrace, the burst knocking her back off of her hooves.

“Scapegrace!” I shouted. It wasn't even a thought, I just burst to my hooves to go towards her, but... as I approached, she picked herself up.

It had burned her through her shoulder, ruining her jacket, or whatever armor she might have had, but she still got up. I watched her grit through her pain until a smile pierced through the anguished scowl. She held her right hoof up and marvelled with pride at the glow emanating from it.

The room grew dark as her bright aura faded for a moment, leaving nothing but her empowered eyes glowing. A stream of green flame pierced through darkness, igniting the plants all around. It came straight from her lips. She was breathing fire like she was some kind of dragon.

The entire room came alive. Up until now, it must have imagined us as some kind of plaything. What were we going to do? Shoot it? It had control... but Scapegrace was something different.

Vines whipped around towards her as she dashed towards the cocoon that trapped Midnyte. The Scapegrace of old wouldn't have done this. Inside, she was probably terrified, but she was fighting. She coated herself in flames and galloped straight at Midnyte.

“Hey, wake up!” She said, tearing at the vines with burning hooves.

Midnyte couldn't find the words. Tears just kept running down her face.

“Help me fight this thing!”

In a moment, the tears were tucked away, and Midnyte put the special kind of face she saved for her enemies. The soft kindness melted away, leaving behind a stern glare. “Glad to….”

The two engulfed the room in flames. The plants didn't stand a chance. From a young age, a wastelander learns a thing or two about who rightfully be afraid of. At the end of the world, the fiercest ones were undeniably the wasteland mares. Hell couldn't match their fury.

*** *** ***

In wheezing fits, we funneled through the corridor. Starting a fire indoors was probably not among the smartest ideas, but the monster plants becoming a vegetable stir-fry was one less problem for us to deal with.

Scapegrace braced herself against a wall. Everything was coming in like a harbor wave. The real fear of death, the anxiety about herself, the knowledge of one too many close calls, the frustration with how crazy and stupid it was to do any of the things she had actually just done, but more than any of that, the disbelief that any of that actually happened.

“You were hot out there...” I stumbled as I slid against the wall.

“Huh...?” It was like snapping her out of trance.

“You were on fire.” Clinging onto my tenuous consciousness, I leaned harder into the wall to afford myself the use of my hooves. “That’s not a metaphor… you were on fire.” As I spoke, I started to descend vaguely downwards towards an inevitable collision with the tile.

Scapegrace flushed red as she dove to catch me, the angel. “Wah! Hey, don’t fall on me.”

“I can apologize later.” I laughed as I tried to keep conscious. “Hey, look! You caught me this time. You’re getting better at this.”

“Tumbleweed...” she grumbled as she held my slouching body by little more than my jaw bones.

“Is this inappropriate? Was I interrupting your breakdown?” I said as I looked her over. She had seen so much tonight. I could see it in how she acted, how she carried herself, the look in her eye.

“Yes! Don’t you have hooves?” Scapegrace struggled with my limp body as she grimaced. “It’s too much. I’m losing my mind here.”

As she spoke, I caught myself. Groggily, I took a breath. I slammed my head against the wall.

“Arrgghhhh! That huuuuurt!” I screamed as I rolled around in pain back and forth.

Scapegrace was lost somewhere between concern and bubbling laughter. “What did you expect to happen?”

I clung to the wall wincing at the pain. “Ahgh, I just… wanted to be awake to tell you. You were really amazing out there, and whatever it is you’re after here in Ponyville, you can do this.”

Scapegrace sank back as she glanced away. “You really must have hit your head hard.”

“Ow, fuck! You’re telling me.” I laughed as I gripped my head. “But really… You’ve grown, it’s like you’re a different pony.” I managed to open an eye to look at her. “You’ve got that crazy brave look in your eyes, but your body can’t keep up.”

She laughed at me like I was absolutely crazy. “Me, brave? What is that supposed to mean?”

“You’re like me. I can see it.” I grinned.

“--But you’re an idiot!” she fired back instantaneously. By the time she heard herself saying the words she had taken on a dark blue tint.

I grit teeth as I pondered. She might have a point. “Yes...well.”

Scapegrace stepped towards me looking like she was going to breath fire again. “Hey, you are not allowed to go agreeing with me when I make a comparison like that. We are completely, totally, definitely, not the same.”

There was a long scraping sound that echoed down the hall. The sound of beating wings… I jumped off to my hooves as I saw a cadre of bat ponies with burning blades jutting out from their wings and forelegs.

“Here it is! Cut through a path, let nopony slow our advance” the leader called.

I knew it wasn’t safe here. There wasn’t time to think. I wrestled through despite my aching head, lunging to meet the bat ponies with my fridge, but…

Everything fell through…

I collapsed to the ground. What even happened there? I turned over in shock, expecting to see a dead Scapegrace, but she was just staring at me with confusion. I patted myself down to make sure I had everything. Hooves, thighs, ass, forehooves, torso-- Fuck! Ah! Shit! Head. Yeah… all still there. Looking down the hall, there were no raiders. “What the hell was that?”

“What was what?”

“Did you see those ponies? They bat wings, and fiery swords… they just… they came… and… fuck…”

“I think you’re just seeing things. How hard did you hit your head?” Scapegrace walked over in concern. “Are you gonna be alri--” Scapegrace was cut off as she tried to lean down to help. Pain shot through her and twisted her as she grabbed at her shoulder.

“Wow, let me take a look at that!” I said it like it was instinct. I wanted to know, but I could feel a dangerous addiction in it. It was a burn wound, but it wasn’t a slice or stab. “Guess even dragons get burnt!”

Scapegrace bucked in fierce protest. “No! No, no, no....” Both of my hooves sprung alive to shield me away, but it left with her nothing to prop herself up with on the wall. “I-I-I do not need first aid,” she said as her back slid down the wall.

“That is piss-swig! Your skin is going bubbly. Hell, your crystals might go metamorphic!” I said as she held my face back with a hoof.

“Don't worry about me, I'm fine!”

“Come on, hero! Let's treat those wounds.”

She gave me a dodgy look. “Shouldn't you be treating your own burns?”

That was strange, wasn't it? I should have had more burns. It was toasty! I was a pony-s'more! I should have been well-done - dead and tasteless. I played with the thought for a moment. “I did sorta make friends with an embodiment of water...”

Confusion sapped the power right out of her hooves at the statement. The time had come. Out came the canteen. Splash! Right at ground zero! She shivered at the contact. Her tint changed in a series of flashes from white to blue to yellowish red. She rose up to give me words or pieces of her mind, but it was good, because she was close enough for me to apply the wet kerchief to the wound.

“Owww, aiiiigh, Don't do that!”

“Turnabout is fair play!” This was for that first aid earlier!

She plastered her face with anger. Her lips curved into a tight frown. She was scrunching like she could crush boxcars with her muzzle muscles. Her cheeks puffed out, to give any predators in the area the impression that we was much larger. And me? I was trying keep a straight face. We held that gaze for a while, but nothing lasts forever. Even statues crack up, given time. We broke, both of us. Frowns bent against their will. A giggle opened into a chuckle, and soon enough, the dams broke.

Scapegrace tried to hide her face. “Stopght... pfffft... I'mb...I'm mad at you...”

“Please... you can barely talk.” I said giving her a side glance.

It had reached critical mass in the giggle factory. We had to shut down operations in fear of conversation meltdown. The way it was going, one of us was going to die. We took some time to handle things - important things that ponies often forget about, like breathing! Important things like getting our mischief fix squared away with a single well-placed “Are you done?” There was production like repro-- COUNTER PRODUCTION! I meant counterproducton. It happened, it was necessary, and we got over it.

We came back together, our shit squared away. We were going to start this off again.

“Hey, I’m glad you’re okay.”

“I can’t believe it myself...” She fidgeted back and forth. “I almost died so many times. I can only take so much crazy and stupid. I feel… I feel...”

“Alive?” I chided. I was rambunctious, walking around her. “Wastelander!”

“Confused! Scared! Out of my mind!” She said trying to show concern. It was really pointless, because she had that subtle glow all over her coat.

“Life is confusing and scary…” I nodded. “That’s what makes things fun.”

“It’s the worst feeling of my life.” She shook her head.

I smiled at her. “You’ve grown. What happened out there?”

“I think I had a wake up call…” Scapegrace walked away from the wall and looked at her hooves. “Something hit me and I realized I didn’t want to run away.”

I was right. She was brave. “What exactly are you running from? I know why I’m here, but it doesn’t make sense for you to risk it all.”

“I have a feeling the thing I’ve spent my life looking for is here.” The crystal pony stood up straight. She had fire in her eyes, though it faded in a moment as she turned back towards me, stumbling over her own hooves a bit as she spoke. “So why are you here?”

I shrugged. “I made a deal to protect the town.” I said.

“Oh, you found the town? That’s great.” She said.

“Yeah, my work never ends.” I scratched the back of my head. “I got sacrificed, met the zebra boogiemare, was made fun of by a flying magical seapony, not in that particular order of course...” It was all kinda funny when I said it out loud.

Scapegrace dropped her jaw in blindsided confusion. “You got sacrificed… how are you sti--” She turned beat red mid-question as her hair frazzled. “You’re the reason everything got weird topside?”

She started pacing towards me aggressively so I started backing up in a circle. “Hey, this is not my fault. There was a crazy magical horny wingy pony, I just happened to be there.”

Scapegrace picked up the speed and I had to turn around to keep away. “It is absolute madness up there, of course you were involved. ” She berated me, but she seemed to have a smile on, as well.

“Forget about my boring evening, let’s talk about you? You’re really turning into something.” I said as Scapegrace lunged towards me. I narrowly wove around her. “You come swoop in like some kind of ninja, thwacking weeds, dropping one liners, and spitting fire everywhere. Slash and burn! No plants on your watch. You are a sneaky little arsonist when you try.”

“What is that supposed to mean? Worried I'm gonna burn your house down?” she said as we continued circling.

I laughed a bit to myself. She might actually do that, considering her track record. “No, I'm just saying you have a way with killing plants.” It might make a stallion think that she doesn't want flowers-- wait! Stop it! Not there. Nope!

“Maybe, I was trying take out my aggression on some other infuriating weeds,“ she said as she watched me walk straight into a wall. I fell flat on the ground. She laughed as she looked down on me. “Are you okay?”

“No worries, I like it down here,” I said, looking around from a new perspective. Lounging on the cold tiles probably wasn't a good idea in the long run, but it was nice to lay down and get a different angle.

“Maybe I'll join you.”

What?

As Scapegrace walked to my side, I caught a glimpse of something through a rip in her khaki jeans. It was white and triangular.

My little arsonist sat down beside me. She tilted her head to the side. “Something you're looking at?” Caught, with the blood on my hooves! “Hehe, I didn't know you changed colors too.”

“Shut up...” I wasn't helping my color. “Sorry, I was just looking at your cutie mark.”

Her eyes changed. “Sure, you did...” She said rolling her eyes and scoffing. “Jerk.”

“What? No, I swear I wasn’t looking at you in that way.” I said. Don’t run off. Don’t get yourself killed….

The hairs of her coat stood on end, she had been bristled. “Knock it off.” She rose to her hooves. Her glow had vanished. Muted colors wasn't good.

“Hey!” I called out, trying to get to my hooves as she started walking down the hallway. “I just thought it kinda looked cool.”

Her coat started going black. I’d really messed up, I didn’t know what I’d done, but she hadn’t liked it it one bit. “Can you drop it.”

Things would be better like this in the long run, but the reason wasn't reaching my brain. I chased after her. “Hey, did I say something wrong? Do you not like talking about your cutie mark?” I guess it was a really personal thing, but usually you can't get ponies to shut up when you get them talking about their cutie marks. Was she hiding something? Did she have enemies?

There was a sudden turn, and she looked at me in the eyes.“I don't like being picked on.”

“Picked on?” Ironically denying things that I do was definitely part of my game, but I certainly didn't think I was doing that. That seemed like a weird accusation, especially here in the big, tough, 'we ain't got no sunshine' wasteland.

“I get that I don't have one. Don't rub it in.” She was scornful.

“One what?”

“A cutie mark!” She almost screamed it.

For a moment, I had forgotten how to emote. “You don’t?” I asked in an empty tone. I had no idea where this conversation had gone, and I took a break from the controls. By the dead serious looks she was giving me, it looked like I had some news for her. “Well, Gracie. You’re good as marked.”

“Arghhh!” It was weird when ponies were mad at you and you weren't trying to make them mad.

“Romance! Adventure! Can you feel it, soldier boy?” The voice came out of nowhere.

I lost my cool as I looked around the room to see a rather piratey-looking unicorn charge through us. An angry crystal pony wearing way too much clothing was following close behind.

“We’re not friends. This is temporary truce to get what we want.” the figure grumbled as they passed directly through us. Was I going crazy?

I scanned desperately for answers, I caught Scapegrace’s glare.

“There you go again. I know I don't have...” She trailed off mid-diatribe as she turned her head. “I have a...” she mumbled blankly.

I had seen many things in the wasteland, but I had never seen a full-grown mare stealthily try to peek into her own pants with such deliberation. She turned back to me, her coat and face completely blank. “I have a cutie mark...” she stated.

Did she not know?

Her eyes doubled in size and her cheeks began to twitch.

“I FINALLY GOT MY MARK!!”

It came like the end of days. An eye-scathing burst of light, followed by an intense shock wave. The prismatic Scapegrace tackled me, wrapping those slender hooves around my neck. It was a hug of death.

“WOOOOO!” She threw her weight out in circles, taking me with her in her tornado. “FUCK, ABOUT FUCKING TIME! WOOHOOO!” she said bouncing around and aggressively tucking head into my shoulder. She was so soft, but her grip was so tight. I might have been dying in more ways than one.

Caught in her rapture, she stood up on her hind legs, forcing me to do the same thing. More figures paraded through the hall, but I could hardly pay attention to any of it. “Woah, woah, woah, calm the hell down!” I said as the miraculous shining mare started pushing me back.

“I CAN'T!” she yelled back happily.

“Something weird is going on here.”

“I KNOW! IT’S LIKE HOPES AND DREAMS ARE COMING TRUE!!” she sang back, just before kicking her legs up, leaving me to carry her.

“That’s not what I-- Hey, what are you--?!”

We came tumbling down and I might have hit my head on my fridge. She didn't mind swinging around to throw me to the ground as a cushion. I groaned as she crashed herself against me. “ThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyou.” It was dangerous for a moment, but she got up off of me.

“Ahgh… anytime…” I mumbled incoherently.

From the ground, I watched her spin around in circles chasing her own flank as she changed colors through the whole rainbow while giggling and squealing like an idiot. Every once in while she stopped to take another peek inside her own pants. “I used to check this baby everyday. All the other foals had got theirs, and I was so fucking pissed off. Try to imagine that.”

...Looking at your ass everyday?-- fuck! Stop making this hard for me!

“Can you?” she asked excitedly.

“Sure! Y-Yeah. I do... I imagine it.” This conversation was dangerous for me.

“It was the worst!” she said, barreling back into her rhythm. “They told me to stop checking out my butt all the time because it was weird. I got teased with the crazy idea that I'd get a cutie mark in staring at my ass.”

I was dangerously close to getting a cutie mark in staring at her ass.

“They kept telling me that it wasn't going to show up if I kept looking at it, but it finally happened!” she said while she rolled over the ground. She sneaked another peek down her jeans. “Oh my gosh, it is so cool! Cool, and Awesome, and Sexy, and it's mine!” she said as she gawked at her own flank. “All mine...”

I chuckled at the dorky mare. To think she was petrified just a few moments ago… wow.

“Just look at it!” she said as she ran up beside me, scooting down the side of her jeans. It was beyond my control, everything was at full attention. An ass is an ass, but legs were my true weakness. And she didn't seem to mind at all as she wrestled with the fabric enough to show off her new symbol.

It was a white flower in bloom. In the center, however, was gemstone chip, the kind you would find in any prewar computer. Out from different angles came spell circuitry, as the roots of the flower, but on the circuits curved out sharp thorns. It suited her. Her smarts, her skill with computers, her love of the root of history, a skill with adapted magic, and most of all, she grows. A late bloomer.

While I was staring at it, I noticed the color of her coat suddenly pale and take on a deep pink hue. She finally noticed...

She flung herself back, flailing awkwardly in her clothes. She scampered off, only to scamper right back. “Sorry!” she said as she laid her hooves on my chest. “I know I'm weird.” she said with a frustrated sigh.

“Hey, that's okay. It’s a wild wasteland.”

Suddenly, her head dropped down to my chest. “I just know that if I wasn't here today... I don't think it would have happened. And I think I owe that to you,” she said trying to collect herself.

I didn't know what I was going to do. I knew what I should have done, but I can say I didn't exactly want to. Was it too much to put a hoof around? Maybe her back? Her head?

In the middle of my stressing, she spoke out. “Hey Tumbleweed...” Her voice was soft.

“Yeah?”

“If we make it through the night, would you do something with me?” she asked meekly.

The air was getting heavier, and I could feel a sweat coming on. “It depends on what it is...” I said turning my head to her.

“Do you know what today is?” she asked rolling her head over my chest.

My face stalled out in confusion. “Uhh, what is it?”

“It's the summer solstice. The longest day of the year,” she said. It was like she was whispering to me, but I could still hear her. “They say that back in the prewar, they used to have something called ‘The Summer Sun Celebration.' Ponies would stay up all night to watch the sunrise.” Scapegrace picked up her head and smiled at me. “Can we watch the sunrise together?”

“Yeah. I'd like that.” As I said that, Scapegrace smiled and got up. I had spent too long lying down.

“Good.”

“Provided we survive. We have to get moving,” I added after brushing myself off. “Calypto hasn't come back yet.”

“Should we check on them? They looked like they needed to sort something out,” Scapegrace said, looking around.

“Come on. Let's check them out.:

We followed down the hall of crystalline vines that continued deep beyond. Scapegrace stopped me as she spotted the two of them in the cluttered halls. They were standing apart. Calypto hugged the wall turned away from Midnyte. They were silent.

“Have they been like this the whole time?” I whispered to Scapegrace before she smacked me with a hoof.

“Get out,” Calypto's voice rumbled. Even hidden beneath his hat, he was emanating aggression.

Midnyte's eyes darted around and she bit down on her lip. She fidgeted as if to turn around, only to turn back towards Calypto. It happened back and forth.

“Leave,” the zebra restated. The cigarette in his mouth cast a thin trail of smoke

But she would not leave. She couldn't... or at least she had told herself that. With a breath, she collected up her powers. It was something more difficult to do than magic itself. “I wanted to say...” She trembled as she spoke, but she wouldn't back down. It was important to her. “I wanted to say 'Thank you'...”

Calypto turned and she froze.

“Thank you, for not taking the shot... I won't forget it.”

“I said 'Get out!'” he roared.

Even as she faltered, with her horn shimmering, a telekinetic cloud reached into her bag. She floated the silver revolver out, placing it on the ground before Calypto. As soon as it was on the ground, she limped past us.

Begrudgingly, the zebra stomped over to the revolver, his spurs ringing with his anger. It was a curious indecision. The gun that didn't fire. Betrayal by an old friend. A guilty symbol. What would he even do with such a thing? He stood there standing over the revolver, glaring at it.

Realizing I’d messed up, I facehooved myself as I turned around. “By the way I have your leg!”

With a grumble, the zebra took the gun. It was part of him. A part of the ensemble. From the iron brimmed hat, to the vibrant poncho of dark blues, magentas, and indigo, down to the golden spurs on his hooves. He would need to think on it.

“Let's go.” We could not see his eyes.

I closed the gap between us. I had never seen this side of him, but he was a good friend. “Are you gonna be alright?”

“I said 'Let's Go...'” he said again.

As we walked down the halls, the number of crystal vines expanded. No longer bound to floors. Now they clung to walls... even to the ceiling. They wove over each other like a tapestry.

“We've been walking this hall for a while now...” I muttered. It was hard to tell that this was even an MAS scientific facility. There were no intersections, no branching off rooms. “Like who designed this place?”

“So it's not just me?” Scapegrace asked. “You were right. Something is weird…”

What was going on? I liked being able to understand what was going on when I walked into danger. Scapegrace and I turned to each other in the ambient aura of the vines. Calypto, however, pressed on in silence. Despite the worries, we followed his lead.

As the tunnel came to an end, there was a large golden gate. A cloud of cold billowed out from door, cracked open. A dim light flickered over the gate. Engraved into a plaque on the walls were these words:

“A GARDEN INSIDE OF ALL OF US”

At the door we could feel something elusively awry. It was as if the crystal veins were sapping our nerve. Was this what you were planning, Pharoah?

Pulling the heavy gate wide open, we could feel the hairs of our coats stand on end. It was cold, that much was clear. But even more so, it was evil. Maybe not evil, but sinister.

Roots. Crystalline, but also pulsing. In that open coliseum they all converged into a wretched, twisting mass. In the strangest way, I could feel it calling to me. The guilty me.

“Tumbleweed?” Scapegrace called out to me as I entered the strange room. The cold whisper’s enigmatic gravity pulled me further away from her. It felt like I was growing distant though she was so close.

“Damn it, Tumbleweed! Get away from that thing!” Calypto called out as he grabbed hold of the door frame. It seemed to call to him too. I turned my head, but it was hard to hear as he grew further away.

I saw the other raiders, but they seemed as intangible as ghosts. Crossfire, Savage, and many more I didn’t recognize. All of us wrapped up in the same distortion. We marched together towards the anomaly.

Strange wisps of light drifted through the air, constantly in flux. As I walked, I passed strange corpses on the ground, the same kind as the ones from earlier. As I walked over the thick geode roots, I could feel something flowing beneath. Or was that the pulse of my own heart? Maybe it was both. At the nexus of those roots, something was definitely beating. Definitely alive.

What was more, there were strange figures in the crystals. Ponies, stretched out and twisted out of shape, each immortally petrified in a writhe within a glassy sarcophagus. It was like they were trying to hold me back... push me away from something wicked.

The mass stretched tall, its winding crystals up over my head forming a twisted canopy. There was a word for something like this. A familiar shape.

A tree.

It had long, malevolent branches, reaching out like a spider’s legs. It bore pulsing gemstones that hung low, invitingly. A gracious offering of fruit.

I walked past it all. What the hell was this? My instincts were firing off telling me this was dangerous... and yet it called to me.

I stood before the morbid trunk. All of it, twisted, and shaped of ponies. It was as if they were trapped in a crystal prison, or perhaps made into it. The holes in the eyes and mouths, empty, but they were bent with such emotion. I could feel thirst. Fury. Feelings of great intensity seeping in through the heavy air. Demons...

I reached out.

…

I touched...

It turned...

They turned.

Eyes beneath the ice...

All of them...

“Hail to the King...”

“King of vengeance.”

Something crawled up behind...

I turned.

A crystal hand!

Tendrils digging in.

I flung myself back, and the vision melted away. I gasped like it would be my last breath. A breath I would need to save until the next time would come. A time where it was safe. It felt so real, but as I gazed back at the strange tree with such overwhelming terror, it seemed to be flexing back as if to sting...

It was.

A snaking crystal javelin speared through me. Straight through the heart. Carrying me away. Far away. Flying.

I dropped at the wall.

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
LEVEL UP >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Scapegrace Cutie Mark Trait: Full bloom: It took you this fucking long to figure out who you really are? Hot damn, somebody should get you an award. Reap more skill points and information from books and terminal entries. Somepony once said: the beauty of a flower is that it only lasts for a short time.

Calypto Glyph Trait: Natural Stoic- You don’t change for anybody, and you follow your heart. What a total idiot. The target on your flank represents the five grand spirits and the four cardinal directions, it is the target of your sight and the rose of your compass.

Scapegrace Perk: Noid- At below 35% health, you get a bonus to perception of +2.

Calypto Perk: Witch Hunter- Dedication to a cause makes you kill the magic. You ignore 5 points of damage threshold and 4 points of damage threshold against magic barriers,

Tumbleweed Earthpony Perk: Improved Break Dance Level 1- Hey, just because they run silent under the hood ain’t mean earth ponies aren’t magical. Extend the range and accuracy of your senses. The world is breaking, but you can feel the cracks.