“Zed!” Jason smiled, kneeling down as the creature moved over to him, giving it a hug.

“So that’s the Anubian you were talking about,” I said with a grin. “Hey girl.” I reached out with my left hand in an attempt to pet her. She looked at me for a moment, sniffing my hand before allowing me to touch her. “Aww, who’s a pretty alien puppy?” I asked with a goofy grin.

She growled, not seeming to like being called a puppy.

“Yeah, she doesn’t like being compared to dogs.” Jason explained.

“Sorry about that,” I apologized, slowing my petting down. She relaxed, licking my hand a few times. “Hey Zinnia, do you wanna pet the alien?” I asked over my shoulder.

“Depends,” she chuckled. “Does she like me? I have a bad history with… canines and canine-like creatures.”

“Well, calling her a canine is a quick way to annoy her.” Jason shook his head.

“Which is why I added canine-like.”

“Why don’t you try giving her a pet and see what happens?” I offered with a shrug. “Though there was a reason I started with the metal arm,” I muttered under my breath.

“Yeah, that wouldn’t have helped you at all Vash.” Jason just laughed.

“Last time I checked, metal doesn’t bleed,” I deadpanned.

He stared back. “Zed, Buglizard.”

In a red flash, Zed shifted into a car sized creature that looked like a cross between well...a bug and a lizard.

“Was this actually part of the later Ben 10 series?” I asked, paling. “Because if so, that show got weird.”

“Zed is the proud owner of the Nemetrix.” Jason smiled, patting her head. “Which allows her to shift into various predators.”

“Well, that certainly beats ‘roll over’ in the trick department,” I joked.

“Yeah, it does…” Zinnia breathed before grinning, flying up onto Zed’s back. “Can you imagine riding this into battle, Jay!?”

“Already done it.” Jason said. “Where do you think I got that scar?” He asked, running a hand down his chest.

“Considering how many fights you’ve told us that you’ve been in, any number of places,” I answered.

Zinnia chuckled, hopping down from Zed’s back. “To be honest, I thought Rares or Chryssi had a hissy fit and sliced you.”

“Ya know, I’m actually surprised that Morning hasn’t taken a swing at me with a sword after some of my shenanigans,” I mused aloud.

“My evil clone did it...” Jason muttered, leaning against the wall.

“You have an evil clone?” I repeated, trying to wrap my head around that. “How did that happen?”

“Eclipse.”

“But I thought you said that Eclipse was Nightmare reborn that got her own omnitrix. She’s a clone of you too?”

“A female clone.” He clarified.

“I’m going to say something I’ve probably said before, but the life of a Displaced is really confusing,” I said, stating the obvious.

“And infuriating, when the villains turn up,” Zinnia sighed. “As well as depressing.”

“True, but luckily we all found people who can be our anti-depressants,” I said with a weak smile.

She smiled too, pulling me and Jason into a hug. “That we do. And sexy ones too!”

“Yup!” I agreed with a nod. “So Jay, did seeing your wife in labor make you nervous about what’s going to happen to you in a few months?”

“Vash, I’ve died before, I’ve fought the guy who lit nine entire universe on fire.” Jason gave me a flat look. “No, I’m not nervous.”

“Alright, I guess that’s fair,” I admitted. “Wait a minute, how do you light an entire universe on fire? they’re mostly empty space.”

“Norse Gods, Vash,” Zinnia said with a shrug. “Because fuck all your rules.”

“Considering I’ve got a reality warping mish-mash of a creature as a lawn ornament, you think I’d have learned that lesson already.”

“Vash, you need some Madman’s Knowledge.” Jason brushed some hair out of his face. leaning on a wall.

“Madman’s Knowledge?” I asked. “Is that supposed to be a metaphor or something?”

“You didn’t play Bloodborne did you?”

“No, I didn’t have a PS4, or an Xbox One. Was kind of waiting for the price to go down.”

“You should have bought it, Bloodborne was amazing.”

“Dude, I was a grad student living in an apartment by myself at the time. There were days that instant ramen was too expensive for me.”

“That sucks,” Zinnia deadpanned. “Almost as much as living on Nutrient Paste in a mental asylum.”

“Zinnia, I wasn’t trying to turn this into a contest of who’s life was worse,” I replied flatly. “But, you’d probably win it with that unless Jay here can pull something out that can top it.”

“Not really.” Jason shook his head. “Besides being unable to shapeshift for a few months...”

“Yeah, not gonna touch on why you’re unable to shapeshift,” I said with a chuckle. “So, now that Rarity and Chrysalis are gone with the kids, what’s the plan?”

“I need a drink…” Zinnia groaned, glancing to Patty. “You?”

“I could go for an Atomic Vodka, sure.”

“Zinnia, you’re not talking about alcohol when you say you need a drink, are you?” I asked, arms crossed over my chest.

“I’ve already been pissed off my tits, Vash,” the Draconid said dismissively. “The Norse practically live off the stuff, and none of it reaches my womb anyway - I checked.”

“I’m not touching the stuff.” Jason shook his head. “Out of principle.”

“Yeah, I’m gonna avoid drinking too. Considering what happened the last time I got drunk, I don’t wanna see what’ll happen this time.”

“Heh, don’t wanna get another girl pregnant, eh Vash?” Zinnia teased.

“Exactly, or I could end up doing something even dumber. I’m pretty open to suggestion when I’m drunk, so I’d hate to think what you and Patty could convince me to do. One time my roommate convinced me to sing a Katy Perry song while wearing a tutu in a Church of Latter Day Saints. I ended up on Youtube the next day.”

“So again, now what?” Jason asked, crossing his arms.

“I dunno, there’s gotta be something that a shapeshifter stuck in female form, a dragon lady, a gunslinger, and a being that exists in the Void can get into at this time of day.” I mused, scratching my chin.

Patty opened her mouth only for Zinnia to cover it. “Not now Patty,” the Draconid said simply.

“I dunno, you guys could come with me and collect some scans.” Jason shrugged, starting to move to the exit.

“Hey, that could be interesting. You might be able to get a griffin scan. Considering ponies in my world were different enough to warrant one, griffins should be too, right?”

“Your whole world is anthro Vash, so yes, the DNA is different enough to warrant scanning.”

“Well then, how about you teleport us to Griffinstone?” I suggested. “The place is supposed to be nice and they’ve got good baked goods.”

“And you could try scanning me,” Patty suggested. “I can’t help but wonder what you’d look like.”

“What the hell even are you?” Jason asked, raising his eyebrow.

“Vampire Succubus with a bit of Witch thrown in somewhere,” she shrugged. “Go ahead, try it.”

“Nope. That's way too much for me.” Jason just shook his head, moving out of the castle, Zed trotting after him.

“Wait, is Witch actually a different species?” I asked.

“In some worlds,” Patty shrugged. “In others it’s a profession. My world was kinda like Harry Potter in the sense that Magic is in the bloodline, and those with it are Witches and Wizards, a separate species.”

“You aren’t originally from the Void?”

“Nah, my dad was,” the woman explained, shrugging. “I was born on a world called Aktechameplatek.”

“Uh, bless you?” I joked.

“Multiverse, dearie, you’re bound to get some weird names.”

“You guys coming?” Jason called back.

“Yeah, we’ll be right there!” I returned, jogging to catch up to Jason.

“What were you guys going back there?” He asked, looking a bit impatient.

“I was asking Patty about her origins,” I said with a shrug. “She might be the only Void dweller that I ever get to talk to so I was curious. So, what was up with you not wanting to scan her? You’ve got a scan of Discord, not to mention Alien X is a pain to use, so how was Patty too much?”

“I have my reasons Vash, let’s just leave it at that...”

“Alright, I’ll respect your privacy. Oh, speaking of your scans, do you still have Ghostfreak?”

“Uh yeah, I never didn’t have him.”

“I was just wondering because you said elements from our IPs would show up. And considering what happened with Ghostfreak in Ben 10, I was curious.”

“No Vash, that will never happen to me. Plus, I’m not the one who caused all that stuff to show up it was Driba and Blukic.”

“Alright, so are you planning on teleporting us to Griffonstone anytime soon?” I asked with a chuckle.

“I’m waiting for Zinnia and Patty.”

“Fair enough,” I shrugged.

At that moment, Zinnia flew up, Patty right behind her. “Sorry about that,” Zinnia apologised. “I was asking what the beef was with Hel.”

Jason nodded before teleporting them to the outskirts of Griffonstone. He sighed, leaning on me, looking a little tired.

“Woah, you need a sec Jay?” Zinnia asked worriedly, eyes wide.

“I’m just tired...I really overdid it with the kaio ken thing and the dragon....”

“And you didn’t bother telling us this, why?” I asked.

“I didn’t think it would be an issue...” Jason pulled away, shaking his head. “I’m fine...”

“Uh huh,” I said, thoroughly unconvinced. “Just to be safe we’re going to get back to the castle without the help of the Jason Express.”

“I can cover that,” Patty said. “I’ll just open up a Void Door.”

“See, we got you covered. Now, let’s find you a griffin to scan.” I beamed, patting Jason on the back. .

“I told you I’m fine...” He grumbled, crossing his arms.

“Don’t care, I’m not going to let anything happen to you or the baby,” I replied, crossing my arms as well. “Even if I have to be an overprotective dick to do it.”

“I will punch you Vash. Hard. In the face.”

“You’re not going to avoid this by intimidating me, Jason.”

“I could actually do it.”

“And what would that accomplish in the end?”

“A court case for domestic abuse at best,” Zinnia chimed, chuckling. “And Vash’s funeral at worst. Please don’t do it Jay.”

Jason grumbled, looking away. Zed seemed to snicker watching a rabbit dart by.

“Hmm…” Patty hummed, before snapping her fingers, a cushioned wheelchair appearing before them. She snapped her fingers again and Jason found himself in the chair as the Void Dweller began pushing him. “Come along now! Much to do!”

“Ha!” I laughed, following after Patty. “I’m beginning to think that you and I are going to get along pretty well, Patty.”

“I knew you would!” Zinnia laughed. Jason growled, his eyes taking on a golden glow. He threw his hand out, sending Patty flying back.

“Bitch!” she cried, landing face-first in the mud.

“Do not patronize me.” He hissed, frost starting to form over the wheelchair.

“Did you really have to react like that?” I asked with a sigh. “We were all just having a bit of fun.”

Jason didn’t reply, just slumping down in the chair, out cold.

“Oh, would you look at that. You overexerted yourself,” I deadpanned at the unconscious Jotun. “Now you really do need the chair,” I finished, pushing the chair.

Jason lifted his head up, shaking it a few times. “Testing, testing is this thing on?” he asked, touching his throat. “Oh good, the voice is working, score one for the Hodge!”

“Hmm Hmge!” Patty called, her voice muffled by the dirt before she pushed herself up, spitting it out. “Hi Hodgey!”

“Who are you?” He asked, turning to look at Patty. “Besides needing a bath.”

“Oh, right…” Patty muttered in response, snapping her fingers and making the dirt remove itself from her body. “Time travel stuff. Dammit…”

“Hodgepodge? What are you doing in control of Jay’s body?” I asked, genuinely confused.

“Well someone had to.” He smiled. “As you might expect, our current situation did not go over well with some of us. Orm in particular wants to eat you. With Jay as exhausted as he was, Orm was able to come out for a bit. Didn’t expect him to tap into Odin’s power. Jay is... well, I put him down in our subconscious for the time being to get some sleep.”

“Uh, what was that about someone wanting to eat me?” I asked with a nervous chuckle.

“Orm. He’s the voice of our bloodlust. He wants to eat you.”

“That… I have no idea how to respond to that. No one has ever threatened to eat me before.”

“But you’ve been swallowed~” Zinnia sang with a smirk.

“Anyway, I just thought I’d pop out to let you know what was up.” Hodge smiled again. “And Zinnia, do be a good girl and don’t molest Jay in his sleep.”

“Don’t worry Hodge, I’ll keep an eye on her,” I told him with a chuckle.

“Can I molest you while you’re awake?” the Draconid asked, leaning over Hodge.

“Well that is a question isn’t it...?” Hodge asked, tapping his chin. “I mean technically Jay is the only one of us who isn’t a virgin...”

“Hodge, please do not go down this road while I’m the one pushing the wheelchair.”

“What, you wanna take it?” Patty teased, draping an arm over my shoulders. “Oh Vash, you devil~”

“Ya know, considering I was just told that one of Jay’s personalities wants to eat me. My mind isn’t really drifting towards more carnal matters.”

“Am I even interested in sex?” Hodge asked, looking deep in thought. “Maybe I’m not...”

“Trust me,” Patty said, laying a hand on his shoulder. “You are. Or… will be.”

“Eh, maybe, maybe not.” Hodge shrugged. “I could be like Floyd.”

“Who’s Floyd?” I asked. “Is that another Displaced? Or one of Jay’s personalities?”

“Oh no, he’s Jason’s cousin. Megan’s brother’s son,” Hodge explained, “If I recall, he’s asexual.”

“Eh, to each their own,” I shrugged. “Anyway, it’s nice to hear from you again, Hodge. Did you get into any trouble since the last time we met?”

“Not really. Though there was that time I changed a city of unicorns and earth ponies into bicorns and taltzponies.”

“Wait, you combined ponies and tatzlwurms? What kind of Lovecraftian nightmare did that end up looking like?”

“Like a normal pony...whose jaw splits in half...and has tentacles...and tends to swallow things they like as a show of affection...”

“That last part sounds a bit like Zinnia,” I joked, looking over to the Draconid.

“Hey, you love it!” she shouted back, smirking. “But yeah, I agree. Lovecraftian nightmare and all that.”

“Hmm… sorry in advance Zi,” Patty muttered sadly, just quiet enough for Zinnia to not hear.

“Though, I’m not sure if you can molest me while I’m awake, I’m not exactly myself...” Hodge commented, gesturing to himself.

“Well, were you ever really all there, Hodge?” I joked.

“Keep that up and it’ll be R63 for you Mr.Stampede.”

“Well, I know Zinnia wouldn’t mind seeing me get in touch with my feminine side. But you might have to deal with a magical double rainbow to the face when Celestia and Luna find out,” I shrugged.

“I doubt they would hurt an expecting mother. Especially after they hear the horrible tale of how you tried to force yourself on me! For shame!!!” Hodge pointed dramatically.

“As if they would believe that story,” I replied with a roll of my eyes.

“They would if we all told them,” Zinnia chuckled. “Now Hodge, make with the Vash titties! And put him in a bikini while you’re at it!”

“Done!” Hodge smiled, snapping his fingers. A flash of light surrounded me for a moment, and when it subsided I was left feeling… different.

“Hodge, if you actually…” I clammed up before I could finish my sentence. The sound of my own voice surprising me.

“Hmm...I think those are a solid DDD.” Hodge reached up, poking one of the mounds on my chest.

“Ahhn!” I blurted out, blushing and covering up my own chest. Apparently I was surprisingly sensitive. I further examined myself and my mind was fried into crispy bacon by what I saw. Hodge was right about my chest, it had really ballooned out due to his spur of the moment transformation. And I was in fact wearing a bikini much to my dismay. A tight red one that seemed to match the color of my duster. He had removed my gloves leaving both of my arms exposed. Though Hodge had changed my metal arm to look a bit more feminine. My hair had really grown out as well, probably at my mid-back if I had to guess.

“Yay, squishy!” Zinnia cried, tackling me and pressing her face into my chest. “Mmm, you’re soft!”

“Get off me!” I boomed. “Hodge, change me back! I don’t want to be Valerie the Stampede!”

“Well, too damn bad!” Hodge just smirked. “Hey, look at it this way, you can’t knock anyone else up!”

“And imagine what Celly Lulu and Morning will say!” Zinnia cried, smiling for a second before gasping loudly. “Oh my Arceus! I’m gonna tie you up and give them cocks!”

“Please don’t! Patty, you’ve gotta help me out here!” I called out, reaching towards the Void dweller.

“I dunno~” she cooed, smirking at me. “I kinda like where this is going. I might just bring Morning here now, that tail could be useful in keeping you quiet~”

“He’s just jealous Jay has bigger meat bags.” Hodge piled on, a wicked grin on his face.

“I am not!” I screeched, my entire face overtaken by a blush. “Hodge, if you’re not going to give me back the proper genitals, can I at least get a pair of pants?” I pleaded.

“I got that covered,” Zinnia said with a smirk, reaching into her bag and pulling out some clothes. She then winked at Patty, and seconds later I felt myself being lifted up before she slipped the clothes up my legs.

“Hot pants…” I groaned.

“You should have given him yoga tights.” Hodge commented, looking bored already.

“Can we just get into Griffinstone already?” I huffed, getting myself straightened out. “I’m thinking about drowning my sorrows in pastries.” I grumbled. “One shall be dedicated to my fallen comrades, Mr. Johnson and the Juice Crew.”

“You can borrow my toy if you like~” Zinnia sang, rubbing her shoulder against mine.

“And I can bring the tentacles~!” Hodge snapped his fingers, a tentacle growing out of the ground, slapping my ass.

“No!” I screamed. “No tentacles!” I then reached to my side in an attempt to grab my gun, but only came up grasping empty air. “Hodge, where’s my gun?” I asked calmly, trying to avoid popping a blood vessel. He smirked, twirling it around a finger.

“Good work, my adoptive brotha!” Zinnia cried. I grumbled for a second before blushing, feeling a hand sliding under my hot pants and bikini bottoms.

“Hmm, firm~” Patty breathed in my ear, groping my ass.

“If I still I had my gun you would all be getting an Angel Arm straight up the ass,” I griped, resigning myself to my fate.

“Love you too Valerie!” Hodge said from behind me, reaching around and giving my chest a squeeze.

‘Why is this my life?’ I thought with a look of utter despair. ‘I should’ve just never picked up that revolver.’

“You should give the woman’s side a try, Val~” Zinnia cooed, hugging my arm. “We won’t stick anything in if you don’t want, but it feels good~”

“I have to say, I love how we’ve completely derailed Vash’s story.” Hodge giggled. “The readers must be so pissed.”

“I dunno about them, but I’m certainly tired of being the butt of the universe’s jokes,” I said, trying to worm my way out of everyone’s grip.

“But your butt’s so nice!” Patty argued, giving my ass another squeeze.

“It was nice before!” I shouted indignantly. “And it was attached to a body that I had grown quite fond of!”

“You know...I wonder if plants go into heat...?” Hodge inquired, looking away in thought.

“I don’t know, and I don’t want to stay like this long enough to find out,” I growled. “Now, can we please go to Griffonstone already? I’m sick of being groped.” I then stomped off towards the griffin village.

“No, Sexy, come back!” Zinnia and Patty called after me, simultaneously falling to their knees and taking up begging stances.

“Normally I’d say eat me, but in this case you’d take it the wrong way!” I called back, flipping them off.

“Huh?” Jason asked, blinking a few times. “I miss something?” he asked, looking down at Zinnia and Patty. He stifled a yawn, obviously still tired.

“Hodge is a legend, that’s what!” Zinnia answered, a huge smile on her face. “Look at Vash! Or Val! Whatever!”

Jason just yawned again, sitting back down in the wheelchair. “I’m too tired to care...”

“You should care!” I shouted. “Get Hodge back out here and change me back to normal.”

“Val, I can do it later, leave Jason be,” Patty chuckled. “I promise I won’t leave you like this, but you’re staying that way for today.”

Jason snored softly, having passed out again. He looked rather peacefully, hair falling down into his face.

“Thank you Patty,” I said softly, not wanting to wake Jason up. “Normally I’m up for trying new things, but changing genders was one of those things that never really crossed my mind.” Zed just sat next to her master, as if to stand guard.

“One rule though,” the Void Dweller continued, smirking.

“I know I’m going to regret listening to this, but if it gets me the boys back then I’m listening.”

“You try sex as a girl once,” she said, suddenly serious. “Just once. Do that, and I’ll change you back.” Pausing, she then added, “Either lesbian or straight, that’s your choice, but just be the chick in the bedroom once.”

Even though I knew this was where she was going, I still blushed heavily and was at a loss for words. “Just once, and then I’ll be me again?” I finally managed to get out, just above a whisper.

“Yes. Void’s Honour.” As soon as the words left Patty’s lips, her eyes glowed bright pink for all of three seconds.

“Fine,” I huffed, arms crossed under my chest. “It’s not like I’ve got much of a choice. You’ve literally got me by the balls here.”

“Thanks Val!” Zinnia cried, hugging me from behind, her arms brushing the underside of my new chest bags.

“I never said that it’d be with you, Zi,” I said with a smirk. “I might just grab a couple griffins here and see what they’re like in the sack,” I finished, walking away with a bit of an exaggerated sway to my step.

“Bitch!” Zinnia shouted after me, and I chuckled as I heard her hurrying to catch up. “I’ll tell the others!”

“And tell them what? That you’re the one who caused their lover to be unable to give them a child?” I shot back.

“I can give you the baby making toy, dumbass,” she replied, smirking. “You’ll just have to be careful they don’t put one in you.”

“Relax Zinnia, I wasn’t being serious about the griffin thing. I really, don’t want to have any foreign objects thrust into me.”

“That’s a joke on two levels!” Patty laughed, walking up on my other side with Jason’s wheelchair in front of us.

“Thank you, Patty,” I said with a bit of a chuckle. “Where would we be if you weren’t here to explain our jokes?”

“Stuck as a woman.”

“You make an excellent point,” I replied with a nervous gulp. “Anyway, let’s get into town, get Jason a scan, eat their famous pastries and leave.”

“I want pie~” Zinnia cooed, leaning against me.

“None of that until we’re back at the castle,” I told her, patting her on the head. “I was serious about dedicating a pastry to my lost manhood.” Zed snorted, her stomach growling.

“It’s not lost, silly,” Patty chuckled. “Just… stored away for later.”

“Fine, maybe I’ll just see if the griffins have invented donuts yet,” I said, starting to drool. “Here’s hoping they have, I could use a few after the day I’ve had.”

Snapping her fingers, Patty held out a tray of Krispy Kreme donuts. “Enjoy.”

I snatched the tray out of Patty’s hands and with tears of pure, unadulterated joy streaming down my eyes told her, “I think I love you.” I then picked up a donut and started munching away happily.

“Does that mean I’m invited to your one attempt later?” she asked with a smirk.

I slowed down my attempt to enter a sugar coma and chuckled nervously a bit. “Why not? I already know Zinnia is going to bring Tia, Lulu and Morning into this. What could one more hurt?”

“Famous last words have never been sexier~” Zinnia tittered.

“Let’s just see what Griffonstone is like,” I said with a sigh, not wanting to think about later. We all finally managed to enter the town and instantly noticed something. The town was a bit… rougher than I was led to believe. The buildings were in okay condition, but the griffins roaming around the street were another story. There were panhandlers everywhere and most of the citizens seemed to have a sneer permanently etched onto their faces.

Zed growled, as if daring any of them to get too close.

“Wow, I was really not expecting the place to be like this,” I thought aloud.

“I have an amazing idea…” Zinnia breathed.

“If you say orgy in the street,” I warned her.

“Not for you maybe,” she shrugged before grinning, reaching over and grabbing Patty before throwing her forward. “WHOEVER GETS THAT GIRL NAKED FIRST WINS A BAG OF BITS!!!!”

“I am so glad that she didn’t grab me for that,” I muttered under my breath.

Almost instantly, the street fell into chaos, Patty looking back at us just long enough to smirk before being consumed by the mob.

“The thought occurs to me, why didn’t she just teleport to avoid the mob?” I pointed out.

“She likes the attention,” Zinnia shrugged.

“Thanks by the way for not thrusting me into that mess.”

“Hey, if anyone’s getting a taste of that pie, it’s me,” she replied, smirking at me. “No use in ruining your mood for later, eh? Who knows, we may even get Jason in on it.”

“Oh like you wouldn’t have had fun trying to think of a way to put me in a good mood again,” I chuckled.

“Eh, true. I could walk around naked, for one.”

“I dunno, I’m partial to naughty maids,” I chimed.

“That can be arranged~”

“Nice,” I replied with a dopey smile before turning back toward the crowd. “Should we go in and get Patty out of there? I’m pretty sure I’m the only one of us with bits from this century, and those probably disappeared with the rest of my clothes.”

“You forget we have a Chaos avatar and a Void being with us,” Zinnia chuckled. “And she can get herself out when she wants t-”

“ENOUGH!!!”

“Told ya.”

“Whoa, was not expecting her to react like that,” I said, quaking slightly.

“It’s only her version of the Royal Canterlot Voice,” the Draconid shrugged, crossing her arms. A second later we heard a quiet pop behind us. “Hey Patty.”

“You owe me so much,” Patty said simply, her clothes in tattered shreds and her most intimate parts exposed.

‘Really wish I still had my phone,’ I thought.

“So, now that you’re back Patty, wanna walk around the village and find out if the pastries were an exaggerated rumor too?”

She shrugged. “Sure, why not. You want your phone back?”

“Does Japan have vending machines for everything?” I asked.

“What does Japan have to do with it?”

“I was trying to make a witty remark, and I was smacked on the ass with a tentacle earlier.”

“Eh, true,” Patty shrugged, pulling my phone from her bust. “Here ya go.”

“Thank you,” I said trying to put the phone in my pocket. Only for part of it to stick out of the hot pants. “Stupid girl pants and their half pockets,” I grumbled.

“Give it here,” Zinnia said, rolling her eyes and taking my phone. She plunged her hand into my cleavage before pulling back, leaving the phone there. “Perfectly safe. Never underestimate a big pair of tits in a tight bikini.”

“This feels weird,” I mumbled, shifting my shoulders around. “But I guess this’ll have to do.”

“It’s either that or down your pants,” Patty said, smirking. “And I can call you on vibrate~”

“I’d rather not mess up my phone, and my pants in public,” I replied with a blush. “Now, let’s go and do what we came here for before you two can find another excuse to grope me.”

“We need an excuse?” both girls asked simultaneously before grabbing one of my breasts each and giving them a hearty squeeze.

“Walked right into that one,” I groaned and walked away, covering my chest in a vain attempt to protect it.

“Aww, sorry Val~” Patty sang, pushing Jason along again. “We can make it up to you. I happened to overhear your little preference~”

“You’re not going to make it up to me by dressing up as a naughty maid,” I grumbled, looking around for a good candidate for Jason to scan.

“Well it’s better than staying in these,” she huffed, gesturing to her shredded clothes.

“Then why don’t you use your magic and fix your outfit?” I asked. “You didn’t have any problem making it see-through this morning.”

“That’s what I’m trying to do!” she yelled. “But I’m trying to cheer you up at the same time! Sorry for trying to be a good friend!”

“I’m sorry, didn’t mean to offend you. Also, nice to see that the curtains match the drapes,” I called back.

“Of course they do, I’m a natural Pink,” she preened, tossing her hair. “But seriously, tell me what you want. Fuck sake, I’ll go naked if you say so!”

“For now, I just need your help finding the best griffin for Jason to scan. Think your magic can help with that? Otherwise we could have Zinnia go nuts and find the toughest griffin the old fashioned way.”

Rolling her eyes, Patty smirked. “You have no idea how the Omnitrix works. All it needs is a sample and it’s make the best form out of that for Jason.” Smirking, she snapped her fingers, a voluptuous and naked female Griffin appeared before us, her feathers soaked. Obviously taken from her shower or something… “But if you insist, here. The toughest and sexiest griffin in Griffonstone.”

“Just hold Jason’s wrist up to her and send her back. I don’t want to deal with a pissed griffin,” I sighed, facepalming.

“She’s in heat.”

“I don’t want to have to deal with a horny griffin either,” I deadpanned. “Lord only knows what that beak would do.”

“Fine,” Patty huffed. Holding the Omnitrix up to the Griffin, she waited for the yellow beam to shoot out before striding up to her. “I’ll be back for you later~” she cooed, tweaking the griffin’s nipple, and a second later she snapped her fingers and sent her back to her home.

“There we go, that takes care of that,” I said with a smile. “Was the nipple thing really necessary by the way?”

With the most serious expression I’d ever seen on her face, Patty simply said “Yes.” Jason mumbled a bit, his head lolling to the side.

“I think Jason’s waking up,” I said. “Either that or he talks in his sleep.”

“I don’t talk in my sleep...” Jason yawned, stretching his arms out.

“Well good morning to you, sleepyhead,” I cooed. “We managed to get you a griffin scan during your nap.”

“She was sexy,” Zinnia provided. “But Val said no, so we sent her home.”

“Yeah, I’m glad you’re awake, Jay. I’ve had to be the voice of reason, it’s been terrifying.”

“Bleh...” Jason reached into his pocket, pulling out a strange fruit with a question mark on it. He took a few bites, perking up.

“Was that an Enigma Berry?” Zinnia asked, raising a brow questioningly.

“Yes...yes it was.” he nodded wiping his mouth off.

“How and why did you have an Enigma Berry in your pocket?” I asked.

“I can answer that!” Patty chimed, smiling happily. “Medulla!”

“That only raised further questions,” I deadpanned.

Jason tossed away the core, getting out of the wheelchair, stretching out. “Welp, I feel better!”

“Glad to hear that,” I said with a smile. “Next time tell us about things like this, alright?”

“Eh, maybe.” he shrugged, looking around. “And they’re staring at us..”

“I wonder why?” I asked with a roll of my eyes. “Maybe it has something to do with Zed being an alien. Or the fact that we had a floating naked chick in the middle of town like a second ago.”

“And I’m still mostly naked,” Patty added. “You know what? Fuck it. I’m naked.” With a snap of her fingers, Patty’s tattered clothes disappeared, leaving her stark naked in the street.

“And this might further explain the odd looks we’re getting,” I sighed, waving a hand over to Patty.

“I see...” Jason stared at her for a moment. “Alright food!” he smiled, clapping his hands.

“Huh, alright,” I sighed. “I’m sure we’ll be able to find something to eat around here. Actually, griffins eat meat,” I started, coming to a realization. “I might be able to finally get a decent piece of steak here!” I cheered.

“I think I saw a restaurant back that way,” Zinnia said, pointing behind her.

“Good! Lead the way!” Jason commanded.

Zinnia shrugged, turning and striding back the way we’d come. “This way then.”

Jason, Patty and I eagerly followed after her, Jason excited about food in general and I was excited about the prospect of satisfying a craving I’d had for months. After a few minutes of walking we made it to a building with a dilapidated sign that read, “The Silver Quill Tavern.” Zinnia led us inside and the place had a few griffins milling about. The inside was clean enough, though nothing about it stood out. It seemed like your stereotypical medieval tavern. We all piled into a table at a corner of the room and looked around the tavern.

“This place looks like somewhere you’d get a fetch-quest in an rpg,” I mused aloud.

“Don’t tempt fate, Val,” Patty quipped.

“You make a good point,” I said with a chuckle. “Though if this were your standard rpg, some villager would come in shouting, “The bandits are coming!” Or something like that,” I shrugged.

“The bandits are coming!”

“God dammit Val…” Zinnia groaned.

“Yeah, next time I start saying something, feel free to punch me in the stomach,” I sighed. Mere seconds later, I crumpled over, Patty’s fist implanted in my stomach.

“Why wait?” she quipped, shaking her hand as she stood up. “Consider that a preemptive strike.”`

“Hope you weren’t planning on having kids Vash.” Jason snickered, moving out of the tavern.

I picked myself off the floor and shot back, “No, I’ll leave the genderbent impregnation to you. Now, give me back my gun.”

“Maybe I’ll give you a bun in your oven anyway,” Patty mused, patting my shoulder as she walked out. “Might be interesting to have a kid.”

By the time we got outside, Jason was already moving through the bandits, some of which had been frozen, torn in half or sliced a part.

“Well, I don’t think Jay needs any help here,” I said.

“Maybe not,” Patty shrugged, handing me my duster and gun. “But it’ll be fun~”

“True, can’t let the skills get rusty,” I returned with a smile as I put the duster on. I left it open, figuring I’d give Patty and Zinnia a show. I drew my revolver and shot a bandit’s sword, shattering it before they attempted to sneak up on Jason. Jason seemed to move with unnatural grace, his dress splattered with blood, in some strange dance of death. I caught most of his fight in the corner of my eye, dealing with the bandits that he hadn’t gotten to yet. Like the first I shot, I aimed for their weapons and dealt with them without killing them.

Patty, however, ran in laughing like a madwoman, demonic wings sprouting from her waist and a pair of black-handled scythes with red blades appearing in her hands. She practically flowed through the bandits, her blades slicing through their flesh and bones like a hot knife through butter and their blood being drawn into the weapons, seeming to just make them sharper. In no time at all, the last of the bandits were dealt with, the ones I had shot scampering off while what was left of the others lined the streets.

Patty grabbed one of the bandits as he tried to slip past her, baring her fangs. “Who’s your boss?” she demanded.The bandit seemed too scared to respond, the only sound escaping him were a series of choked whines.

“She said who’s your boss!” Jason snarled, putting the tip of his sword to the bandits throat.

“I-I can’t tell you. She’d kill me if I told you anything,” the bandit replied, their eyes darting around.

“You’re better off telling us what we want to know,” I told the bandit, placing a hand on their shoulder. “You’ve just seen that these two have no qualms with killing. And that they mowed your friends down in no time at all. So, what do you think will happen if you annoy them and don’t tell them what they want to hear?”

“And I haven’t tasted blood in so long…” Patty said, her fangs bearing down on the bandit’s neck. “Give me an excuse, I dare you.”

“Okay, okay, I’ll lead thee to the boss!” The bandit screeched, openly sobbing.

“Good.” Jason lowered his sword, looking at Patty. “Release him Patty.”

Patty rolled her eyes, dropping the bandit. “Don’t tell me what to do, Jay. I know full well how to deal with these types.”

“Settle down you two, save the hostility for the bandit leader,” I said, hoping to defuse a situation before it could occur.

“I’ll take care of her,” Patty grunted, turning and grabbing the bandit again. “I’m drinking someone’s blood today. Don’t wait up.”

“Can we at least try to finish this without any more bloodshed?” I asked with a sigh.

“No.”

“What about death? Can we settle on no more death?”

“She won’t live without becoming a vampire, so no.”

“Is there anything I could do to talk you out of this?”

“No.”

“Not even extreme sexual favors?”

“No. A vampire’s bloodlust is stronger than a succubus’s sex drive.” Sighing, Patty turned to me, smiling sadly. “I promise you I’ll clean up before coming back.”

Jason reached into his pocket, tossing Patty a small pack. “Don’t say you don’t owe me. Those are at least twenty blood vials, courtesy of a hunter from Yharnam.”

Patty sighed again, grabbing the vials and tossing them into her mouth whole. She spent a minute crunching them up, a small trickle of blood escaping her lips, before swallowing. “Thanks. I don’t like that part of me, but it’s a thing, so nothing I can do.”

“So, think we can finish this bandit leader without tearing her throat out?” I asked hopefully.

“I already have a plan!” Jason smiled, flicking some blood of his blade.

“Oh?” Patty asked. “Do tell.”

“Yeah, I’m all ears,” I agreed.

“The local orphanage is about to get a sudden influx of occupants.” His eyes glowed gold and a second later, all the previously dead bandits were alive once more, only reduced to small children of various ages. “Wake me up when we get there...” Jason mumbled, collapsing to the ground, snoring loudly.

Patty sighed, bending down and lifting him into her arms. “Why didn’t he tell me to do that…” she muttered, shaking her head.

“Because he’s Jason,” I sighed.

“Oh well…” the Displacer shrugged, turning to our captured bandit. “Tell me, in exact detail, where your camp is.”

“Outside of Griffinstone, near the base of the mountain range. There’s a cave where we hide loot and a river that we use to hide our scent right beside it,” the bandit blurted out.

“Dibs on the loot!” Zinnia cried from the inn.

“Get out here and do something and we’ll talk about it!” Patty shot back.

“Why do you even want the loot that they most likely stole from this village among others?” I asked.

“Uh...” The bandit spoke up, looking at his former comrades. “Thou art not going to condemn me to the same fate as mine comrades, art thou?”

“That all depends on whether or not the information you gave us is good, or if you annoy the vampire and the Jotun. Or if we get bored,” I finished with a shrug.

“Maybe I’ll wipe your memories, too,” Patty added, placing Jason in what looked like a replica of Professor X’s wheelchair from X-Men. “Let you live a whole new life. Though if I find out you don’t make the right choices, I’ll come back and feast on you.”

The bandit looked at his former comrades and started to sweat profusely. “I think I am done with the life of an outlaw. Perhaps I shall become a florist like mother always wanted?” He wondered aloud.

“Good. Now leave,” Patty growled, glaring at the bandit. “But be warned, if this falls through for us, I will find you.”

“Of course not, I am done with dishonesty!” He whimpered before running off, hopefully to start a new, honest life for himself.

“That was an interesting use of bad cop, bad cop and good cop,” I quipped. “Anywho, now that we have a location, are we ready to deal with this leader?”

“You want her turned into a kid like the rest of’em?” Patty asked, snapping her fingers and covering herself up with a tight, form-fitting black latex outfit complete with corset, pants and a duster like mine.

“Eh, that all depends on how much trouble she is,” I said with a shrug. “If we can convince her to turn over a new leaf there really isn’t a reason to make her go through puberty a second time.” I shuddered as I thought of the idea. “That is a fate no one, no matter how evil they are, deserves.”

“But we could give her to Jason,” the Displacer reasoned. “He’s got so many kids now, what's one more?”

“Alright, I guess that could work out,” I shrugged. “Patty, would you please teleport us? I wanna get this over with so I can be the proper gender again before sunrise.” Patty snapped her fingers and all of us were teleported in a flash of light. When it subsided we were all standing at the edge of a crude outpost, just like the bandit had told us we would.

“Looks like that bandit isn’t getting his blood drained,” I commented. “Now the question is, do we try and be secretive about this, or do we just break down the doors with guns blazing?” Patty and Zinnia just shrugged at that and I rolled my eyes. “I’ll just try to wake Jason up. He did say he had a plan.” I reached down and gently shook his shoulder. “Jason, wake up, we’re about to get into a fight.”

“Huh...?” Jason asked blinking a few times. “That was not as long as I was hoping it would be...”

“Next time don’t overexert yourself when we’re in the middle of something and you might get a longer nap.”

“Shut up...” he grumbled, socking me in the arm. He got up, stretching himself out.

“So, you said something about a plan, would you mind sharing what it is?”

“Oh that?” He reached into his pocket, pulling out a golden spear. He drew his arm back, throwing into into the outpost. “That’ll keep the leader pinned until we get in there.”

“Huh, simple but effective,” I said. “I was kind of hoping for a complex plan that involved one of us being a distraction or something.”

“What? Nah, the spear will be enough.” He gestured to the outpost, where voices were already shouting.

“Is it a magic spear?”

“It’ll hit anything, no matter the skill level.” He smirked, moving up to the doors, pushing them open. “So, we letting them all live?”

“You know my style Jason, I let everyone live,” I said, walking up to him and flourishing my gun. “Think you can handle things using the flat of your blade?”

“No.” He shook his head. “Which is why I’m not using it.”

“Alright, let’s take on some more bandits. Maybe these ones will be tougher than the ones in town,” I offered.

“Yeah, I doubt it.” He chuckled, walking inside, humming a soft tune.

“Yeah, but maybe the leader’s hot,” I said with a chuckle of my own as I caught up with him. As bandits came into view, Jason just flicked his hand, making them all collapse, snoring away. “That’s a convenient skill,” I commented as I fired a few pot shots at some new bandits that came toward us. “You wanna take the ones on the left side of the outpost and I’ll take the right then meet in the middle?”

“You sure you can take them? You might miss, you do have a new center of gravity after all.” he snickered softly.

“You seemed to adjust pretty quickly. And what about you? You’re not gonna pass out in the middle of all this, are you?” I asked, snickering as well.

“Nah, probably after... and most likely be out all of tomorrow.” Jason chuckled. “Rarity is going to be pissed about the dress...”

“She’s going to be scarier than the guy who lit universes on fire, isn’t she?” I asked, firing another shot at a bandit.

“Probably.” He nodded, knocking out another group of bandits. “But, not like she can kick me onto the couch or anything.”

“I’m sure she’ll think of something,” I replied, pivoting around a bandit and uppercutting him in the jaw with my metal arm.

“I think we’re on the last of them.” Jason commented, seeing that no more of them were running out at us.

“Man, they do not make nameless bandits like they used to,” I laughed as I fired at three more bandits, their weapons shattering.

“Nope.” Jason commented, knocking them out with the same spell he had used on the others.

“Looks like that’s the last of them, better go see the bandit leader. She’s probably got a few words to say to us.” We moved toward her little...hut thing, hearing her swearing from the inside. “They don’t sound like very pleasant words, but words nonetheless,” I commented.

We both entered the hut and found the bandit leader, a female griffin, sitting on a makeshift throne of sorts and wearing surprisingly nice looking armor that she had most likely stolen. As soon as she saw us her glare intensified and it nearly looked like she was going to explode.

“So, art the two of thee after my treasures?” She asked, reaching for a bastard sword sitting beside her. Jason was already there, having disappeared from my side, holding the sword with a smirk. “Impressive, I am not surprised to see such skill considering thou hast disposed of my bandits.”

“Yeah, your bandits weren’t all that impressive,” I said with a shrug. “They basically just charged at us and yelled before we knocked them out.”

She seemed to want to say something else, but considered her position and held her tongue. “Very well, take my treasure and spare my life. I am sure the spoils that I have acquired is the reason why the two of thee attacked this place.”

“Nope, I don’t care about treasure,” I said with a grin.

“We can’t just let bandits run around attacking people. I mean what kinda of heroes would we be if we let that happen?” Jason asked, fiddling with the sword.

“Heroes?” The bandit leader asked with a dark chuckle. “Griffinstone is not the place for lofty ideals such as justice. Greed and strength rule it, and I just happen to be the strongest and greediest.”

“You’re not exactly the strongest anymore, case in point,” I said, indicating at Jason. He smiled, grabbing the blade, crushing it. He didn’t seem overly injured, letting the broken blade fall to the ground. “And as you can see, he’s a showoff.”

“Very well, if thou dost not wish to take my treasure, then what dost thou plan to do with me?”

“Well, considering we sent the guys you sent into Griffonstone back to childhood, what do you think?” Jason asked, crossing his arms.

“What?! What insanity art thou speaking of?”

“The insanity that is our everyday life,” I answered.

“And mine is more insane than you know.” Jason chuckled. “What do you think Val? Diapers? Maybe all the way back to being an egg?”

“That depends, you wanna be the one to sit on it?”

“I could get Zed to do it...I think she lays eggs anyway...”

“Then let’s go with egg. Might as well put off changing diapers for as long as possible,” I shrugged.

“Hold still will ya?” Jason asked the bandit, holding his hand out, his eyes glowing again. The bandit leader’s eyes shrank and she began to panic. She attempted to get out of her throne but Jason kept her down. He smirked, sending the magic into her. “Also Val, if I pass out, I want this armor ya?”

“Be my guest, not like I’m gonna need it, and I can’t give it to Morning as a gift. The chest is way too small.”

“There...” Jason smiled, lifting a white, speckled egg out of the now discarded armor, starting to sway a little. I rushed over to him and threw an arm around the Jotun.

“There we are, can’t let you drop that egg,” I said with a sigh of relief. He mumbled softly, resting his head on my shoulder, out cold. “You’re making a bad habit of passing out around me.”I joked as I set him down in the throne as I turned and walked towards the exit. I looked over my shoulder and called out, “Don’t go anywhere, I’ve got to get your chair and the others.” Jason justed mumbled again, clutching the egg close. I had to hold back a d’aww at the sight of that as I quickly grabbed the chair and the others. Once we were back in the hut I carefully lifted Jason and the egg and put them in the wheelchair.

“There we go, they’re both nice and comfortable,” I said softly.Once the two of them were settled in their chair I collected the armor that Jason wanted and told Patty to teleport us back to the castle.

“I won’t teleport,” the Displacer replied, rolling her eyes. Snapping her fingers, she made a simple red door appear in the air. “That ain’t my style. Now come on, I think Zi-” Patty stopped suddenly, looking around. “Where did Zinnia go?”

“If I were a betting man, I’d say looking for the loot,” I sighed.

Patty opened her mouth to comment, stopping as our little conversation topic walked in casually, a comically large burlap sack slung over her shoulder. “‘Sup?” she asked as though she wasn’t carrying the stolen loot of a bandit clan.

“Huh, I should become a betting man,” I said with a grin.

“It was kinda obvious,” Patty groaned, rolling her eyes. “And I’m guessing that’s all for your little piece of arm candy, huh Zi?”

“Umbra is not arm candy,” the Draconid growled. “She is the single most beautiful woman in existence and I will kill anyone who says otherwise.”

“Okay, but you do realize that I’m not going to let you keep all that loot, right?” I told her with a cross look.

“Ugh, spoilsport…” Zinnia sighed, dropping the bag and reaching in. “Fine, here,” she added, flipping a single golden bit to me.

“Zinnia, you know that’s not what I meant. Those items belong to the griffins in Griffinstone and we’re going to return it to them.”

Rolling her eyes, Zinnia leaned back, sitting on the bag. “No, we’re really not,” she said. “I’ll give them something that’s infinitely more valuable to them, but this stuff’s coming with me on the grounds of ‘finders keepers’.”

“Zinnia, if you give back everything but one piece of the loot, and the loot you keep can be anything. Then I’ll let you do anything you want to me back at the castle.”

“I would just give it all back.” A new voice spoke, making us all jump. “At least, that's just me.” We turn to see a young man, draped in a cloak. “Sorry to just drop in, but I wanted to have a talk with Jason... who is asleep... and a woman...”

“Yep,” Patty said with a shrug. “He’s also pregnant, knocked up by the chick in the bikini top and duster over there.”

“Though if you hurt her,” Zinnia growled out, glaring at the newcomer. “I’ll hurt you.”

“Ease on the clutch there,” I said, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Who are you?” I asked, turning to the cloaked figure. “And how do you know about Jason?”

“I’m no one special.” The young man shook his head. “Please let him know that B wanted to talk to him.” He turned around, walking away without another word.

“Okay, that was weird. Even for us.”

“Yeah…” Zinnia agreed, staring after the guy for a moment. “But back to the point - when you say anything…”

“Yes, I meant anything,” I sighed, a blush creeping in on my cheeks.

“Hmm…” the Draconid hummed, tapping her chin in thought for a second. “Well… okay, but on one extra condition.”

“What else do you want?” I asked, slightly terrified.

Smirking, Zinnia reached into the bag, pulling out something at random. Turns out it was an ornate golden statuette, rubies and sapphires embedded in its surface. “I’ll give everything but this back, if you take it to the village stark naked. And no attempts to cover yourself at all, not even your own arms.”

“Oh that I must see.” Hodge smirked, having taken over Jay’s body again.

My blush deepened and I briefly considered just letting her take everything. But my conscience won out in the end. “Fine, I’ll do it,” I huffed.

“Good girl~” Zinnia sang, smirking to herself triumphantly. Standing, she sauntered over to me before grabbing my duster and yanking it off, sending me spinning in the process. “This first!”

“Damn it Zinnia! Can’t you let me prepare for this mentally?!”

Hodge whistled, leaning back in the wheelchair, holding the egg close.

“Nope!” the Draconid replied. “Get nekkid Val! Why do you have a problem with it now?”

“I don’t know!” I shouted honestly. “I just… feel weird being like this, okay?”

“Look, I’ll do it too!” Hodge pulled off his dress, tossing it to the side. “There. Feel better now that others are doing it?”

“Not really, but I appreciate the sentiment,” I sighed, unbuttoning the hot pants I had been given and pulling down on them. As soon as I bent over, Zinnia took it upon herself to spank me! “Gyahh!” I cried, turning to Zinnia with crimson cheeks. “Can you please not make this harder than it already is?” Hodge smirked, reaching on and pinching my ass. I jumped and shrieked, whipping my head at him with a pout. “Why’d you do that?”

“To see your reaction.” He smirked wider, a camcorder in his hands.

“You want a good reaction?” Patty chuckled, zipping up behind me and reaching around to grab my breasts, tearing the thin top away. On reflex, my hands went up to cover my exposed breasts, but stopped myself. I muttered something under my breath and rigidly put my arms to my sides.

“Oh come on! Don’t be lame Val!” Hodge complained, giving a cute pout.

“Grrr, urge to fire laser… rising,” I growled, slowly going to take off the last piece of my outfit.

Zinnia grinned, eyeing my naked body hungrily. “Hmm… I may just skip the public torture and eat you out now…”

“Whatever you do, I’m totally putting this on my multi-verse youtube page!” Hodge cackled, lighting striking above him.

“How are you going to put this on youtube? Doesn’t nudity and sex violate the terms and conditions?” I asked, picking up the bag of loot without bending over.

“Multi-verse youtube doesn’t have those.” He grinned back.

“Ooh!” Patty cried, grinning. “Put it on Multi-verse Facebook and tag me!”

“And now my life has become an episode of Rick and Morty!” I called out, mind thoroughly broken. “I have officially gone off the deep end and and derailed the crazy train!”

“Val, dear, you were already there,” Zinnia chuckled, hugging me from behind and making me drop the loot. Without warning, she lifted me up, throwing me onto the bandit leader’s old chair before kneeling in front of me. “And like I said, I’m skipping the public part.”

“And suddenly... I feel left out...” Hodge frowned, a bit upset everyone’s attention had left him.

“Silly Hodgey~” Patty sang, wrapping her arms around him from behind and resting her breasts on his head. “I haven’t forgotten you~”

“Aww shucks!” He smiled, still keeping the camera fixed on me.

“Oh no! This is not going down like this,” I hissed, covering my genitals. “I agreed to go along with whatever you wanted at the castle. And we are not going to be sidetracked from returning the loot to those griffins.”

Rolling her eyes, Zinnia pushed my hands away and slipped a finger into my folds. I bit my tongue in order to prevent a noise from coming out. “D-damn it Zi, I’m serious here.”

“Bow chicka woow wow...” Hodge muttered, snirking.

My eye twitched and my metal hand slowly reached for my armband. But I took a deep breath and dropped it again. “Can everyone please take a break from driving me insane for a little bit?” I asked as calmly as I could.

“Alright fine... I had my fun...” Hodge pouted, dismissively the camera, crossing his arms with a huff.

“Aww, Hodgey~” Patty cooed, still hugging him. “You can film me all you like later. Maybe even join in a little~?”

Hodge just blushed, nodding a little.

I was about to say thanks when I adjusted myself on the throne and noticed something. “Zinnia, can you please remove the finger from my lady bits?”

“Fine…” she huffed, doing just that. She then smirked at me, lifting the finger to her mouth and sucking it clean. “Hmm~ delicious.”

“Thank you,” I said, pulling myself off of the throne. “Now, I’ve got some loot to return, then the unspeakable things that Zinnia is going to subject me to, and then copious amounts of drinking to forget said unspeakable things along with the rest of my time spent as a lady.” I then picked up the bag of loot and strode out of the hut.

“Hodge, camera!” Zinnia cried, grabbing her iPod and racing after me.

Eventually, I was able to return everything to the griffins. I nearly died of embarrassment, partly from the gawking griffins and mostly due to the idea of my bare ass becoming a viral hit across the multiverse. When the last piece of loot was returned, Patty opened another dimensional door and we all walked through it. Once I was safely home in the castle I collapsed to my knees, exhausted.

“I am so done with today,” I groaned.