Chapter Sixteen

"My little ponies," began Tia, in front of an assembly of nobles, statesmen, reporters, and busybodies. "Years ago, during the struggles against Discord as the three tribes sought to unify into a single nation, my sister and I were young and, in the scheme of things, relatively unimportant."

I fiddled with my cloak, suddenly, absolutely certain that the roomy, soft garment was choking me. Luna poked me.

"Nervous?" she asked, still riding high on our reunion. Then again, she'd dealt with the limelight for much longer than I.

"Terrified. I'm going to make you girls look bad. I'm using a spell so I don't sound like an archaic moron. Clover made speeches- I just set things on fire," I admitted.

"Put it this way," suggested my youngest. "Tia and I found out we were half monkey yesterday."

"As if that were a surprise," I groaned. "I had to chase the two of you out of trees all the time, and only one of you was a pegasus!" I paused. "Besides, I can't help but feel you two had at least some hints."

"Twilight Sparkle made a scrying attempt, some months after you disappeared in your human form," said Luna shiftily.

"Years before you were born, from my point of view," I said, thinking back. "You looked so... so desperate, all of a sudden, and I didn't know why."

"You bore no cutie mark that we could see under your garment," said Luna. "But we recognized you, of course. Sister told me to keep quiet, realizing we were dealing with time travel. I... may not have reacted well."

"What were the damage estimates?" I asked, curious, and prepared to be impressed.

"Oh, look, it's about to be your part!" declared Luna, pointing through the curtains.

I sighed, but forced myself into business mode.

'You're a witch. These are superstitious commoners, you hold all the answers. None of them know you're a young, messed-up woman who never had to grow up. You'll be fine.'

My pep-talks, alas, had not improved even over all the years.

"-who has pulled herself through time, set the arena for the future prosperity of all of Equestria, and finally come home. I present to you our mother, Tham'ra, of the Paradise Estate, witch of the long winter, and Faust of Equestria, as named by our allies of so many centuries."

"Love you, mother, you'll be fine," said Luna. She kissed my hair, then pushed us both out through the curtains.

I forced the familiar, 'wise traveler' guise over my face, let it seep into my body language. I took the rising sussurus of voices as nothing more than the natural background noise, no more worrisome than the hum of nighttime insects and owls. Hell, I'd argued with the owls often enough. During my more bored and lonely moments, obviously.

I forced a soft smile to my face, and stood between Tia and Luna, and wished -only for a moment- that my alicornification had come with the same stature as my eldest. Then I told myself that it would be stupid, and I'd bang my head on too many doorframes. No wonder my oldest baby was so serene- the brain damage must have built up.

"It's a pleasure to see you all, today," I said, speaking out to the crowd. "I'd seen images, heard descriptions, of this country. Of what the ponies I once knew would become. That I was able to have even the smallest hoof in making that happen, and that my daughters were able to lead it to its current age, makes me happier than you can ever imagine. The centuries have been kind to you. Standing here now, I can honestly say that the centuries have also been kind to me, as well."

No self-deprecating comments, no bad puns... I was on a roll.

"When I saw a kindly spirit pass the Tree of Harmony into this world, in the hopes of crafting something beautiful, I knew that the future was in safe hooves. When the Windigos swept over the three once crumbling tribes, only to be pushed back by those who learned strength in the full cooperation of beings made stronger in unity, I was relieved beyond measure. When I was cast through time by the forces of chaos, and had to live with the knowledge that my daughters would have to take their first steps into the world alone, I held fast to the knowledge that, in the end, they would thrive."

I stepped closer to the edge of the stage. "And I hope, as I take my first steps into this modern world, that you all have it in your hearts to welcome me here, among you."

There was applause. There was honest, heartfelt applause, and accolades. Twilight and her group stood to the side, watching and smiling.

Then came the questions.

"Were you the sage that gave Princess Platinum the map to Equestria?"

"I gave it to Starswirl, he did the hard work. He was a much-underrated hero of the early days," I replied.

"Little is said of the princesses' father, was he really a god?"

"He had a bit of an ego, but he was as mortal as anybody," I answered. I ignored Tia's near-silent groan- I guess she and her sister had gotten a lot of weird questions about their parentage. "I will always remember him fondly."

"Have you ever moved the sun or moon?"

"I left that to the unicorns, in the old kingdom," I said. "My daughters manage it quite well, now, and with less fuss."

"Did you ever meet a human, in the old ages?"

I grinned, just a touch madly. "No comment, but I did see where somebody, and I won't name names, imprisoned the Smooze."

I didn't go into details because, really, it was one of those little mysteries I'd gotten frightfully few details about.

"Have you ever met my ancestor?"

"The odds are pretty high, yes. I traveled the Paradise Estate pretty extensively." I frowned, and turned to my daughters. "How is that place these days, by the way?"

"A frozen wasteland, buried under glaciers," said Luna.

My eyes went unfocused. "So you're saying I owe the heir to the Apple family ten bits. I'll go talk to Applejack later. Or would that be her brother? Never mind. Next question?"

It went on, from the ridiculous: "Is that your real mane color?" to the profound: "Who were our progenitors?"

The answers were, respectively: "You'd better believe it." and: "I found traces of over a dozen civilizations and species that no longer walk this world."

"I think that's enough for today, subjects," said Luna, eventually stepping in. "We are putting all duties not related to the heavens on hold for two weeks, and affairs of state shall be handled by our cabinet."

"Afterward, we shall resume and send out ambassadorial envoys," added Celestia. "In the meantime, we shall be enjoying some family time and, should we be successful, be retrieving our mother's ancient library, which she wishes to share with the modern world."

There was an audible, shrieking cheer from one unnamed princess in the corner.

"Yes, Princess Twilight," I called over the crowd. "You get dibs."

The mare proceeded to faint back onto Rarity, who, annoyed, began looking for a nearby couch to take the burden.

There was some healthy laughter, and if Luna's was just a tad too obnoxious, I might have promised, with my eyes, to cast another Sphere of Silence on her.

Lousy little minx.

"Girls?" I said through gritted, smiling teeth.

"Yes?" asked Tia.

"I'm about to freak out and pull a Twilight. Can we go have cocoa?"

"Of course we can."

We had settled, at my insistence, in Luna's bedroom. The girls sat on the bed while I commandeered some scratch paper and was busily correcting some script.

"You know, mother, we didn't really expect you to come back with presents," called Tia.

"Sister!" Luna levitated her hot cocoa out of the way and began trying to bury the other princess's head in the comforter. "You speak lies! Lies and betrayal! Mother, shower us with as many gifts as you'd like!"

I snickered and sipped at my own drink, before asking, "Is the popcorn ready?"

"For whatever reason, yes," said Tia, getting the upper hand and binding Luna's wings with a sheet. A large bowl of steaming white fluff hovered off to one side, encased in a golden glow.

"The reason," I said, "is a little concept I'd like to introduce from your human heritage. 'Home movies'."

"But the theater is several floors down, in one of the darker sub-basements," said Luna, somehow having burrowed through the mattress to come out, head poking out from from under the bed. Tia leaned over the edge in astonishment.

"I'm not using film," I told her, blowing the ink dry and grinning at the final product. "Besides, home movies are private, and best viewed in a small, warm place with lots of comfort food."

"Understood!" said Tia, who dove under the bed to continue the battle. "What are we watching, then, and how are we watching it?" she asked, before getting an elbow in the mouth. "Lulu!"

"You bit my tail!" complained the younger sister. "Have at you!"

"Yes, well," I said, memorizing the script and burning the paper, "I've been refining this spell for a while. Luna saw it, but that was a rough version. This is more for her than you, Tia, given you've been around longer, but I thought you both might enjoy it. Dim the lights?"

Curious, both mares crawled out from under the bed and resettled themselves on top. I flared my wings and jumped in between them, burying myself in the strange-but-familiar sensation. Luna dimmed the few lamps set about the room, and I began to cast. The three of us watched raptly as the air before us took on color, and shape, and eventually resembled the dim interior of a property broker's office:

"Hello?" I called, entering a dim, lantern-lit hall a few minutes later. "Hello, I need a house, please. I will take one house, to go. Preferably with a bed that... that I haven't quite decided on. Forget the bed for now, let's talk houses."

"Do you mind?"

I blinked, hard, and turned toward the desk placed furthest in the corner. A unicorn, ridiculously tall for his tribe and wearing a roughly-spun jacket was glaring at me.

"Should I? Mind, I mean. Can you get me a house?" I asked him.

"Father?" Luna craned her neck forward. Obligingly, I brought the grumpy pegacorn's face into clearer focus. "Oh. That's... he's so handsome."

"Moreso when he smiled," I mused happily. "It took me a while to get him to do that. Pegacorns weren't treated well in those days, as you remember, and it took me some time to talk him out of his shell. I started out just looking for a new friend to play mind games with. Then, well..."

I showed them more. His slow, painful lessons, guided by the occasional visit from Starswirl as he mastered what little magic he had access to. My confession to him, minus the naughtier bits at the end which still, sometimes, invaded my dreams. Next to me, as I explicitly told Winter my past, Tia went horribly tense.

I pushed aside her ridiculously beautiful mane and hugged her neck. "Yes, dear, I knew exactly how you felt, growing up."

"Calm yourself, Tia," said Luna, leaning over me. "Nopony cares, nopony knows, and it hasn't ever mattered. I'm proud to call you sister. Even in my madness, I never considered you any less a mare than you were."

"Because you were afraid of mother popping up and lecturing you," said Tia, giggling and blinking back wet eyes at the same time.

"I will not confirm that," said Luna. "Can we see Tia do something embarrassing?"

"Of course we can," I assured her.

"No!" whined the paler mare.

I woke up to see Tia answering the door of Luna's suite. At some point the two must have roused themselves long enough to usher in the dawn, but Luna had gone right back to sleeping on her back with all limbs tangled in the sheets.

I looked out blearily and saw Twilight and company at the door.

Rainbow waved. "Can Tham'ra come out and play?" she asked with a cheesy grin.

"You can, too, your highnesses!" said Pinkie.

"I think Luna might like to sleep for some time longer," said Tia. She looked back over, and I waved. "But we can head down to breakfast."

I stumbled out of bed, crashed, groaned, and scribbled a note for Luna before falling into step with the others.

"Did you all have a nice night?" asked Fluttershy.

"Last night's theme was apparently 'poke fun at Celestia'," groused Tia.

"S'alright," I said with a yawn, patting her side. "Tonight we embarrass Luna. First topic: little Lulu eats a bug."

"Thank you," said Tia.

The other mares stared at us as if we'd said something odd. I kept walking, sleepily, and nearly ran into a planter.

"Here," said Twilight, levitating a cup. "Half coffee, half cream, gritty sugar."

"You 'membered," I said, smiling foggily. It was lukewarm, too- the perfect temperature to chug down. I did so, shuddered, and fluffed out my wings. "Dang it, forgot my cloak. I need my cloak."

"No you do not," insisted Rarity.

"But my things are in it!" I said. "What if... what if I need parchment, or a piece of string, or an exotic poison?" There were more stares, and I began to mentally recount what I just said. "I'm still working a bit behind the times, aren't I?"

"Have you... needed to poison anypony?" asked Fluttershy, wide-eyed.

It occurred to me that I had done a lot -a lot- of things since last meeting these girls that I'd never have done as a human. I'd really gone all out, becoming a witch in every way that mattered, and some that really shouldn't have.

"During... during the resistance," I started, feeling a bit closed-in, "there were ponies so changed by Discord, or so desperate, that they were a danger to themselves and others. I... I... Tia? How accurate are historical textbooks?"

"Some knowledge is," she gnawed at her lip. "Not censored, truly, but most ponies deem things better fit for historians than school foals."

"Do they teach about Feather Rush?" I asked.

It took her a moment, before she caught on and winced. "I don't believe they do. You left us with Midnight, for that one, and came back a week later and simply... hugged us for a few hours. We learned later what had happened."

"Ah don't much like being talked down to like Ah was a foal," said Applejack with a snap. "Anypony want to explain the poison thing?"

"Feather Rush was a mare that thought Discord might be appeased by equine sacrifice," I said, blurting it out. Winces to outright blanched fur were the responses I got. "She... sacrificed entire groups, travelers who were camped out along the roads, while they slept, but had a special talent for disappearing, which she put to good use after each time. It took five days just to find her, kneeling over her latest group of victims and praying to Discord as if he were some kind of god. Wonder of wonders, he actually appeared before her. He shook his head, said she 'didn't get the joke', and disappeared again."

He'd been twenty feet away from me when it happened. I'd nearly broken cover just to get a cheap shot at him, but that would have been my second failed attempt, I had no doubt.

"I followed her," I continued. "Being told that drove her absolutely insane. Or, at least, less rational. It was safer to go ahead, find her hideout, and spike her water supply with a fast-acting agent."

"So yes," I said, summing it up, "I did a lot of things I... yeah. I lived a hundred years in a world of monsters, so I got really good at fighting them. Can we go get breakfast, please?" It came out more pleading than I'd like.

"Of course we can," said Twilight, looking unsettled. "Come on, everypony."

It took Fluttershy to break the awkward quiet. "Surely, if you traveled as much as you did, you must have seen some, um, beautiful things, too. Right?"

I blinked, thinking back. "A lot. Every week, or every day even, it sometimes seemed, there was something new. Discovering the thestrals..." I got incomprehension from half the group. "Bat ponies? Right, now you get it. I taught a group of them modern -at the time- Equish, and helped the whole tribe sneak over to avoid the Windigos. A group, which ended up as two small, happy herds ended up as Tia and Luna's caretakers."

"I really do miss Dawn," said Tia, grinning off into space.

"Sweet mare, short attention span," I offered. "And then there was the Frozen Grotto. It wasn't really cold, mind you, but had so many quartz crystals it was like walking though giant snow flakes. I first met the naga there... Completely unrelated, but did you know they traditionally hold orgies under every full moon? I sure as hell didn't. I turned right around and waited a day and a half for them to... cool off, before saying hi."

Good memories, tiny jokes, and silly poem lyrics spilled out of me in a rush until I had the Bearers and Spike convinced that the past wasn't an absolutely horrible place.

It was after we'd polished our way through plates and plates of food that Rainbow mentioned the obvious.

"Yo, girls? I've gotta get back to the training camp. I've got rookies to yell at and a Commander Hurricane outfit to correct."

The others reluctantly admitted that they had their own lives to get back to, as well. It didn't disappoint me as much as it could have, because as Fluttershy pointed out:

"You're here to stay, aren't you? If you, um, like, you can visit us too."

"I'd like that," I said. "Are you all okay for finding my old house next week?"

"So long as Twilight isn't rushing us out of our beds after midnight?" said Rarity sarcastically. "Then yes, we can make time for friends. I'll thank her to let me pack my bags first, next time."

"Sorry," said Twilight, cheeks brightening.

"Don't be so grumpy, Rarity!" ordered Pinky. "We got to see our favorite monkey! Ooh, we need to start a game! Dibs on bard!"

"I'll try to work something out," I promised. "It might take a while though. I can hardly remember-"

"I can!" Twilight coughed. "I mean, I sort of borrowed and never, um, returned your source books..."

"You filthy thief!" I said, grinning. "Good job."

"Would you ladies like chariots back, or is the train alright?" asked Tia.

"Train's fine," said Rainbow. "We got our free ride tokens -best things ever- and I can stop at home before flying back to Cloudsdale, that way."

"I can stay, if you don't mind me cluttering up the place," said Twilight uncertainly. "I still have lots of questions."

"Me too," said Spike. "I mean, I was ready to close the library for a few days, just in case..." He stopped, then slapped his forehead. "No, wait, I promised Rarity I'd-" He groaned, then looked uncomfortably between me and Rarity.

"It's alright," I said. "We'll have next week, and I promise to visit you bunch often. Don't break a promise on my account."

He nodded happily, and I began to plot.

"So we've got Twilight bumming around with us," I said, rubbing my hooves together. "This should be fun. Who wants to make some fireworks?"

Pinkie and Rainbow whimpered.

"Some of which we'll save and pass out to certain individuals as birthday presents," I added.

Pinkie and Rainbow cheered.

"Huzzah!" shouted Luna.

"I'll get my mortar and pestle!" declared Tia.

"Twilight?" I asked.

"Oh!" Twilight glanced around. "I have to pen a short letter, first, but I don't see why not. We're going to use these responsibly, right?"

"Of course," I swore.

"Why would you imagine otherwise?" asked Tia, innocently.

"Mwa ha ha!" laughed Luna, which... sort of ruined our credibility, so I smiled at Twilight and pretended not to have heard it.

"This is better than the second vernal equinox!" I declared, coat streaked with flammable powder and with bits of loose tissue paper caught in my mane.

"Tia! Oh, we should bring that back!" declared Luna, arranging tubes.

"We already have it," said Tia, trying to improvise a weather vane. She was using a surprisingly aerodynamic china set. "It's called 'Spring Fielding'."

"I remember no delightful explosions last spring," said Luna, frowning.

"The fireworks fell out of favor during an economic depression some two hundred years ago," admitted the older sister, licking her hoof and holding it up to the sky. That was... more than a little redundant, given she was part pegasus, but I gave her points for sheer class.

"Boring," I declared. "I will buy the common ponies their treasured explosives. Growing foals need vitamin 'boom', Tia. I have some treasure stashes around, still, if they haven't been found. How much are... dawn stones, aluminate, and devil's teeth worth, these days?"

"Mother, you may have money. We have piles of it," said Luna.

"We are fiscally responsible adults, Lulu!" Tia reminded her in a sing-song voice. Then she faltered. "Those things mostly don't even exist anymore. Ah... I think you could buy a fair-sized town, if you have those in any quantity."

"I declare myself retired," I said, and set the last thin sheen of glue over my latest creation. It was spherical, had a smiley face plastered on the outside, and I'd added safety warnings on it in Spanish in tiny lettering, just for authenticity.

"Is 'transient witch' something one retires from?" asked Luna, finally aiming most of her tubes away from the castle.

"Is 'princess'?" I shot back. "Hold on. Okay. I need matches."

"Luna reminded you that you were a witch not five seconds ago," said my eldest.

"Oh. Oh, right," I said. "Are the clouds ready? You girls wanted to do an accuracy trial, right?"

"Stationary artillery shall win the day," said Luna, waving the pegasi guards above off. Several of the off-duty guardsponies had offered to help, in exchange for watching their rulers wreck the skies. "We wait now only for our official scorekeeper. Why is she late?"

"I don't believe we gave her a precise time to meet us," said Tia thoughtfully.

"I'm here! Don't start yet!" Twilight galloped up and had to air brake when she reached us.

I grinned at her. "Ready to rate some explosions? Categories are style, impact, and collateral damage."

Twilight stared upwards. "Have... have they put together actual cloud houses?"

"Equestria's finest work quick when the task is suitably important," declared Tia proudly.

Luna sniffed. "Mine are better. They have fangs and their eyes glow."

"True," I said, rubbing my chin thoughtfully.

"Does this seem the least bit insane to anypony?" asked Twilight nervously. "Not to offend you, but-"

"No offense taken," I cut in. I dragged her closer, and studiously ignored Luna's giggles. "You're the magic princess, you ought to-"

"Princess of friendship," she corrected me, not for the first time.

"Princess of friendshippy magic," I continued, not missing a beat. "Sometimes friendship is magic. Sometimes explosions are magic. Therefore, explosions are friendship."

Twilight groaned.

"Let 'er rip!" I commanded.

"Hurrah!"

"Got you beat, Lulu!"

Rockets exploded. Mortars rose and impacted cloud structures. I prodded Twilight, and she dutifully pulled out a clipboard and began taking notes.

I might, possibly, have underestimated how many fireworks the girls could make when motivated.

Streaming bolts of red light, golden flowers, and plumes of green exhaust temporarily fought for attention with the sun. I grinned so hard it hurt.

As we neared the end of the sisters' stocks, they began using their largest munitions. The fake structures above us had long since been blasted apart, and my ears had automatically folded themselves back against my skull.

The very last explosions were more like the devil's own percussion instruments than anything else.

Twilight mouthed something. I stared, until I realized she was, in fact, shouting.

"Yes!" I said back. "It's great!"

She shook her head, rolled her eyes, and waved wildly until the girls trotted over. Their grins were about as wide as my own. Twilight shouted at them, and they shouted back. Nobody seemed quite certain about what was actually being said, mind, but we all seemed pretty cheerful about it. Eventually, Twilight facehoofed and simply wrote something out for Celestia. The taller alicorn nodded and began channeling a spell, and my hearing soon returned.

"You forgot to shield your ears, didn't you?" asked Twilight, likely repeating herself.

"Maybe!" I said. I hugged my own pile of munitions. "These are going to present a great deal of awesome when we all meet up again."

"Well, they are larger than ours," said Luna. "Some special trick, perhaps, in the making? A chemical reaction sister and I never learned?"

"Nope!" I tapped the highly volatile material. "I've been practicing my enchantments. Same like as I did for the charms I used to make for you girls. Only, more... explosive."

"You said you always had trouble applying your witchcraft permanently to mundane materials," protested Tia.

"Practice makes perfect. And I was tired of those unicorn crafters always showing off," I mumbled as an aside. "Anyways, the scores?"

"Oh!" Twilight let her eyes mill up and down the checklist. "Well, Celestia had a good idea with those easier-to-aim rockets, but... they didn't hold their course very well. Not as aerodynamic as they could have been, I don't think. Perhaps we could construct a wind tunnel..." I coughed, and she blushed and went on. "Luna's, while not the best for all that mortaring was an interesting concept, definitely did more damage on purpose. So... Luna wins by a narrow margin."

"I am the best! I am the greatest! I am best pony!" shouted Luna, who began... dancing.

"There, there," I said to Tia, who looked to be restraining herself from building a sister-seeking rocket. "Remember, you get to see her in diapers later tonight."

"You know... that does make me feel better," said my eldest. "Though perhaps I should schedule a meeting with the royal alchemists later. Just to... refresh my memory for the next time we do this."

"Go for it, love," I told her. "Now what?" I asked, talking over the roar of applauding pegasi which had gathered at a safe distance from the show. "Aside from ignoring the inevitable noise complaints from the neighbors, which I think is basically tradition."

"Well, if you don't mind, I have another friend who was coming through Canterlot that I think might like to meet you. Do you think she could come for lunch?" asked Twilight.

"Up to you girls," I said, looking to Luna and Tia. Luna broke off her dancing for long enough to nudge her sister.

Tia rolled her eyes at the younger and nodded. "Of course. I don't doubt Twilight's choice in companions, and I see no problem with introducing mother to some more ponies. I think it goes to say, but, no poisoning this one."

I stuck out my tongue. Twilight, however, just gave a quick cheer.

"Whatever. Food? Explosions work up an appetite," I declared. "And this era has so much more variety in its food. And coffee."

"Doesn't it just?" said Luna, who came the closest to knowing what I was talking about.

My most useful, or at least, most used skills, were in illusion. Sure, some would say I'd become a bit voyeuristic in my old age, and I'd... probably agree.

Point being, this little wall nook made for the perfect vantage point.

"Trixie has never actually been in the castle, you do realize?" asked the blue unicorn.

"Now's the time for it!" said Twilight, nudging the other mare as they walked in from one of the side entrances. A delightfully sly smile crept onto her face. "So... have you heard any of the news?" she asked.

Trixie adjusted her hat and scowled. "Everypony is shouting about some princess visiting. Is your foalsitter in town, again?"

"Not a princess," I muttered, but not loud enough to be heard. I softened the sound of my hooves with a spell and followed the duo as they passed.

"Nope!" said Twilight. "You remember what I told you about the rift, last year? That alien mare we met and who showed us around her world?"

"The tall... ape thing, yes?" Trixie looked thoughtful. "Did you manage to accidentally fall into an alien princess's living room, Twilight Sparkle? And she's visiting? The curious and intrigued Trixie is looking forward to this. You never bring Trixie on your adventures."

"You're always traveling!" said Twilight. " But yes. You're... sort of right about this. She... traveled a long way to see me, and I wanted you to meet her."

"Very intriguing. More so by the second," said Trixie. "Trixie imagines hopping between worlds makes for a longer journey than taking the noon route to Trottingham."

"Longer than that, even," said Twilight, clearly enjoying the build-up. So was I, to be honest.

"What's a couple of centuries between friends?" I asked, sending both mares shrieking.

"Twilight Sparkle, that is not a monkey! That's..." Trixie fell back on her bottom.

"My friend Tham'ra, witch of the Paradise Estate, Faust of Equestria, mother to the princesses..."

"I've probably got other titles," I added, "but they're mostly 'scourge of this and that', and so on. I died, ascended, spent a lot of time apparently feeding into the very same circumstances that would let me... to already have met my friends. I hate time travel," I said, feeling the usual headache that proceeded discussing causality. "And you already know Twilight, of course, the mare who apparently can't keep state secrets."

"Trixie's entirely trustworthy!" said Twilight, blushing. "And she's one of the best freelance magic theoreticians that I know."

"More that was left out of the serialization, I guess?" I prompted.

"I should hope so," muttered Twilight. "Anyway! Trixie will be in town for a few days. I figure if you have any free time during the, um, spontaneous national holiday, that we could go out and... hang out?"

"Trixie didn't agree to this!" said the blue mare, who looked to me and then began panicking. "Not that she is at all complaining about your presence, my lady! Who is the mother of the princesses. And a legend. And..." She stopped, and began hyperventilating.

"If I had my cloak, I could tranquilize her," I told Twilight matter-of-factly.

The violet alicorn rolled her eyes."You really haven't changed a bit, have you?"

"Of course I have, Purplesmart," I told her. "I'm, like, a responsible adult. I'm a cold stone femme fatal, just as always."

"I once saw you knock yourself out on your own icebox," said Twilight, flatly. "When you woke up, you panicked, stood, and ended up doing the exact same thing all over again.. Fluttershy was so panicked she nearly tied a tourniquet around your neck."

"I once flew through a forest of bloodthorn. If you've never heard of it, it's because I've taken care of it all." I forced the grin to stay on my face until Twilight's unrelenting stare forced me to twitch. "I knocked myself out on the elm tree. Afterward. Shut up."

"I didn't say a thing," said Twilight, looking far too smug.

Trixie's concern for Twilight obviously overrode her shock, because she grabbed Twilight and shook her by the withers. "Don't! Twilight Sparkle, I don't want her to smite you! She'll vaporize you with her horn!"

"I haven't smited... smote? Anybody in ages," I protested. "Objectively, I mean. Subjectively, it was like, last week." I tapped my head. "But I didn't use my horn, I'll have you know. I've never used the stupid thing."

"It's not stupid!" said Twilight through gritted teeth.

"But you're one of the most terrible-" Trixie stopped herself and forced a sickly grin onto her face, "most... wonderful figures in magical pre-Equestrian history!"

"She's a witch," said Twilight. "Non-tribal magic, Trixie. You're the one who reminded me of that definition, didn't you?"

"Trixie was explaining a foal's tale!" the pale-maned mare replied. "There are no witches!"

"There aren't?" I asked. "Damn. I probably hallucinated that, then. Oh, well. Come on, let's get lunch!" I said.

"I was probably imagining the whole 'magic pony land' thing, too," said Tamara, my illusory, human self. She was keeping pace with me. A little magical manipulation, and she pat me on the back consolingly. "Don't worry. You're probably perfectly sane, except for that 'thinking you're a pony' bit. My angels agree."

In tandem, a little Twilight and a little Rainbow Dash crawled out of her hair and onto her shoulders.

"She should trust her senses!" squeaked little Twilight in her angel robes. "Careful perception is the hallmark of good scientific procedure!"

"Wrong! And lame," squeaked mini Rainbow. She wore the patent red devil horns. "Obviously the girl's nuts! Crazy means she can't be held responsible, means she should just roll with it and have fun. Nopony can blame her!"

"I like where the blue pony is going with this," said human Tamara.

"Me too!" I said. We bumped fist to hoof, though it took some doing not to pass my limb through the illusion.

"How is she doing that! There wasn't any spell!" called Trixie from back down the hall.

"She promised we could study her!" called tiny angel Twilight to her larger self.

I and myself glared up at the shoulder angel. "Traitor!"

Real Twilight laughed, and hurried to catch up.

"Girls!" I galloped up through the dining hall, mares and illusions in tow.

"Mother!" said Tia, grinning. "You're being chased by a monkey carrying two pygmy Element Bearers. Is there a story behind this?"

"Not at all," said illusory Tamara. "Hello, adorable pony daughter."

"Dude, your daughter's hot," said mini Rainbow.

I growled, spun, and leaped for her.

Only to go right through, of course. The lousy punk chortled as I flopped under the table. Illusory Tamara shook her head.

"Am I really that dumb?" she asked.

Mini Rainbow grinned. "Do you really want me to answer that?"

Then mini Twilight slapped the back of her head. "Show some sensitivity. And don't hit on the princess!"

All three blinked out of existence as I got back out from under the table and shook out my feathers."Lousy Rainbow Dash, perving on my girl."

"Mother, I am a grown mare," pointed out Tia. "And... I'm not entirely certain where this conversation is coming from, given that it sprang from some sort of schizophrenic hallucination, but the point remains!"

"Are you dating anypony?" I asked, curious. "I mean, I know I'll have to stalk Luna until she spills, but I always figured you'd be more straightforward."

"Not currently, and not for some years now," said Tia. "Maybe in the future, though- things are calming down, and the workload has, literally, been divided up."

"I was just curious," I told her, smiling softly. "It's your own business."

"And why is my life not my own business?" asked Luna, stepping into the room ahead of the procession of platters and plates carried in by the castle staff. "Hello, Twilight. Twilight's friend."

"You made it a mystery, Luna," I answered. Annoyed, I walked over and yanked Trixie onto her hooves. "No bowing at the table. We didn't bow to Platinum over hot cakes, and you don't bow to us over... hey, pesto!" I ignored the stuttering unicorn and grabbed a pillow between my daughters. "So!" I said, "When do I meet this other grandson?"

"My descendant, Blueblood," said Luna, spooning some pasta. "It took some time to reconnect, to be honest, given the... distance I held from ponies just after my return. Still, I'm sure we should be able to call for him this week and he would be happy to visit."

"Fantastic. In the meantime..." I trailed off, thinking. "Wow. Um... what do normal families do, anyway? Or at least, recently reunited families in extremely odd circumstances? Maybe mini-golf..."

"There are the scheduled, annual wargames amongst the guard," said Luna, thoughtfully.

"The caverns below the capitol have not yet been fully explored," said Tia.

"You could explore Canterlot!" said Twilight. "It's not just cottages and palisade walls, anymore."

"Trixie approves of whatever the Great and Merciful Lady Alicorn wishes to do. Not that she needs Trixie's approval!"

I sighed. "Excuse me, girls," I said, getting up and circling the table. Twilight smiled softly as I approached the increasingly-pale unicorn, planted myself on the same cushion as her, and hugged her.

"Chillax. I was a nerdy alien that wanted to hang out with my adorable pony friends. I ended up having to wait for a while, so I wandered around and managed not to die long enough that I impressed the locals. I'm an awesome witch because I worked very hard at it for a very long time, and didn't burn off my eyebrows too much. I only got this far because I wanted to find my friends and family. I'm just a lucky commoner. So are my daughters! So is Twilight."

Trixie whimpered.

"This is the part where you hug her back," stage-whispered Twilight.

"Listen to purplesmart," I told the showmare, which got a gleeful snort.

"Aww!" said Twilight as Trixie slowly reciprocated. "Looks like being a pony made you real hug-friendly, Tham'ra."

"Shut up, egghead."

"Holy hell, that's mine! That's my sword!"

I couldn't help but bounce, a bit, in front of the display case. The curator who had awkwardly followed our group of five dropped his spectacles.

"Pardon, your highness?" He looked up and down the long hall of artifacts, then back at the sword. "This sword is nearly two thousand years old! It's-"

"See!" I pointed at the shaft. "I scratched a motto right there- I bought this off of a retired pegasus armorer, wanted to see if I was a suitable weapons user. Tried for five years before I gave up."

"My lady, those were assumed to be decorative markings!" The stallion said, astounded. "What is it they say?" He had a notepad levitating out in front of him in the blink of an eye.

Twilight leaned forward and, having a working understanding of English -given her insane dedication to knowledge- read it before snickering.

"Today is a good day for you to die," I quoted. "A little something from back home," I added mysteriously. "Don't feel too bad- I doubt there's another example of this alphabet anywhere in the country, unless I wrote it."

Instead of disappointment, I was surprised to see the stallion's eyes light up. "Please, your highness, come with me!"

Then, with a typical academic's excitable distraction, he ran down the hall. I looked back to my daughters, Twilight and Trixie, and shrugged.

"This should prove interesting," said Tia.

Twilight hip-checked me. "I told you the museum would be fun!"

"I didn't say it wouldn't be!" I complained.

Twilight colored prettily. "Oh. Right. Sorry, I'm used to trying to drag the other girls along."

"A sword, mother?" asked Luna as we began following after the curator.

I sighed. "I was young and foolish. And read too many comic books as a foal. Kid! I meant kid!" I growled. "Lousy infectious pony terms."

"Oh, look!" said Tia. "I donated that barding a few centuries ago- they still keep it polished!"

"Very nice." The group made appreciative noises.

"Couldn't fit into it anymore?" asked Luna.

Her sister sniffed imperiously. "Our flank simply cannot be contained by mere mortal sundries."

"They were doomed from the very beginning to be complete dorks," I told the two younger mares. "They never had a chance."

"Mother!"

To my surprise, we actually caught up with the curator -Dusty Relic, I think his name was- at a large door. He was manipulating a rather complicated lock with his magic.

"Just a moment, your highnesses! We found this material on a dig in the badlands, about, oh... eighty years ago. That was before the interdiction on travel there, of course, from both our side and the griffons. We had to clear out of a very promising site, and without further perspective, were unable to display these pieces with the proper information due such an important find."

With a resounding series of 'clicks', an unreasonably intricate and -dare I say it- nifty door opened inward before us. We stepped in as one, tentatively, as the magelights overhead blinked on in slow tandem.

"This is all rather exciting," said the stallion, though I was hardly listening anymore. "We had previously counted this as one of twenty known precursor civilizations, including those scant records we have pre-Equestria, but-"

"Oh gods. Freezing stars, Twilight? You see this too, right?" I asked, desperately looking for validation. I'd seen stranger, but the margin suddenly felt razor-thin.

"Tham'ra? I think so."

I stared at the large metal plate that had been mounted on a wooden plinth, surrounded by still more artifacts. On it was written:

Jillian Pratt Expeditionary Space

"The entire area, a ruined settlement of sorts, looks to have been entirely transplanted!" the curator went on. "Different rock strata, in a near-spherical shape, as far as we could tell. As if it were literally dropped from another place entirely!"

"It was," I said, voice quavering. "This is from..."

Home.

"Mother?" asked Luna, coming closer. I didn't realize I'd fallen to my haunches until she had to do the same to approach me.

"When can you go back?" I asked, voice hollow. "When can I go back?"

"The Badlands have been off-limits for-" started Dusty, but Tia cut him off.

"We can discuss this with the griffon party that will be arriving in two weeks. We'll make preparations. This is important to you, correct?" asked my eldest.

"Yeah, but, but you don't have to-"

"We will."

"Oh. Good." I forced myself back onto all four hooves. "Dusty, pay attention. Ladies, let's see if I can walk you through this. Um. These placards are written in 'English', my birth tongue. Those are -wow, um- those are 'solar panels', which..."