Chapter Fifteen

Years of working out failsafes, exceptions and buffers, and it had gone wrong. Something beyond my understanding, outside of what my spell had been meant to handle, had gone wrong.

Centuries wrong.

I lay as if drugged, trying to find meaning in the pale face of the moon above. I watched, uncomprehending, as a train left a small water supply station and began its trek up the Canterhorn mountain. The only part of my spell that seemingly had worked right told me that I was, roughly speaking, within a decade of the time in which 'My Little Pony' had covered. Judging by the fact that there was no mare's shadow on the celestial sphere above my head, it was within a decade after.

Sixteen hundred years too far.

Sixteen hundred years failed.

Centuries in which the girls must have cursed my name, discovering first hand just how little a promise to return 'as soon as I could' meant, coming from me.

Countries had risen and fallen in that short step and tumble that I'd taken through time. For ten of those centuries, my girls had been without even each other. There weren't words to describe the sheer levels of failure to which I'd fallen.

I pushed myself, robotically, onto my hooves. Below myself, I could hear cheers and babble and singing by late-night revelers, all completely ignorant of the pathetic alicorn above their heads. I re-fastened my cloak over my body and hopped down to the ground, looking like nothing more than a lanky unicorn.

I should have run, or flown, or tried to catch my own train upwards. Instead, I walked. I couldn't not see them, and yet, I couldn't help but try to put off the inevitable exile. The great 'mother of Equestria', booted for child abandonment. There was a joke in there, somewhere.

The paths up the mountain were well-maintained, though saw little traffic at that time of the night. I was mostly alone, and went out of my way to avoid what little hoof and cart traffic there was. Eventually I sucked it up, brought my hood over my head and, voila, played the part of the pegasus. I reached the grand gate within minutes, and went back to being a 'unicorn' once I managed to duck out of sight. Wings were easier to hide, when concealing my face might do more harm than good. The last thing I wanted to be was hauled in over suspicion of criminal activity.

Even hours after nightfall, there was traffic. The city of Canterlot was beautiful, cleanly, and clearly fitting of the seat of Equestria's power. Celestia and Luna had built this. Or had, at least, refined it in the years since its founding. I was amazed and not a little humbled. All I ever managed was to stick my nose into situations that tended to bite at my nostrils.

A street wound up, gradually, toward the castle. I mused that, in a heavy rain, the entire shelf that supported the city must have reams of water pouring off the edge like an off-balance saucer. It must be a great savings when it came to street cleaning.

Towering, ornate stories rose above my head. It was like every fantasy story had been blended together into a beautiful, cohesive whole. It was at the gate that I ran into my first, and in hindsight most glaringly obvious obstacle.

"Name and intention this evening, citizen?" asked a pony at a small, open kiosk. It was a guard sans helmet. I winced, muddling through his unbearably thick accent.

"I seek... er, is the nightly court open, where I might politely petition the princess?" I asked. "I aim to gain audience with her personage."

He stared. "Right... Well, the Night Court is open, for another three hours. If you're lucky, there may be a small time slot available. What would your business be?" asked the stallion, levitating a quill.

"My business?" I blinked, and suddenly realized that, yes, the palace was a government building and I was more or less a hobo to these ponies. Proclaiming myself an alicorn or, 'your boss's mom' might turn out to be a less than optimal choice. Grinning, I was struck by inspiration.

I tucked my hoof under my cloak and brought out a thick manuscript. "I have, in my vary'd efforts, made plain a manuscript most ancient. It is my aim that I might show her self a thyng of her own early rule- a kindly memento, if you will it."

"A scholar," said the unicorn, making a note. Less audibly, he mumbled, "that explains way too much." Out loud again, he said, "Go on in. You will be expected to give your name to the majordomo, and will be... thirteenth on the docket." He put on a bright, strained smile. "Have a good day, ma'am."

It hit me- my 'Equish', the pigdin used by the pony tribes during trade, was horribly out of date. Goody.

"Kind tidings, gatekeeper," I replied, trying not to wince at what I must sound like. "It surely does a heart good, that she might be in good steading this eve."

I passed him, entered the gate, and followed a few gold-leaf signs into a short hall. Rings of cushioned benches formed small waiting areas. Several had groups of ponies already occupying them. I nervously levitated a glass of water from a nearby refreshment table and settled, alone, into one of those circles. Dim chatter filled the hall, and a thin sliver of the massive chamber beyond was visible through the cracked double doors. I couldn't see anything, and was afraid to peek.

"Hello! Is this seat taken?"

I startled, nearly dropped my glass, and forced myself to relax. "Oh, no, you may take your rest where you will," I said.

The young mare looked at me quizzically, but nodded and offered me a smile. "Thanks! So, if you don't mind me asking, what brings you here?" She tugged at her mane nervously. "Not that I'm trying to pry, or anything. I guess I'm just nervous and want to make small talk. You don't have to."

I smiled. "It's no burden to ask, and less of one to receive answer, I assure you. It might be said that I approach on family business, but truly, the topic is muddled but fiercely."

"Ah..." she was staring.

"I've been long away and for some time, alone," I explained.

She parsed that, then shrugged. "No worries. I'm Sweetie Belle! The princess is sort of a friend of my sister, so I thought I'd give her a ticket to my first performance." She gestured toward her flank, and the ornate musical cutie mark there. "The princesses have been really good to us, I guess I just wanted to show 'thanks', you know?" She seemed more than a bit embarrassed at the idea.

"It's a kind thing you offer, young lady. I'm certain that L- the princess should take the offer quite well," I told her. "Your sister, she would be lady Rarity, of Ponyville?" At Sweetie's wary nod, I added, "Do tell her that 'Tham'ra' bids her a good greeting, would you?"

"You know her?" asked the young mare.

I pointed at my bundle of parchment. "We did meet, on occasion, through her friend Twilight. She and I are scholars, you see. This, by mine hoof, are some small binding of poetry and tales from the world of old."

"Oh!" Sweetie turned warmer, perhaps less worried that I was trying to cozy up to the Bearers of Harmony. "Tham'ra, you said?"

"Near enough," I admitted. "Tell me, how long has passed since they did pursue knowledge of a 'magical rift'? Twilight did mention it to mine self, on sparse occasion."

"That?" Sweetie looked thoughtful. "Maybe six months? Thereabouts. If you don't mind, could I see some of that poetry? Like Rarity says, you never know when inspiration might strike you!"

Two hours passed, and suddenly, I found my number called.

"Oh dear," I said, tucking the parchment back into its binding. "Another time, may hap?"

The young unicorn nodded tightly. "Please! I'm staying with my sister, and I'd love to see anything else you have, alright? It's like something out of an old play!"

"I think it truly must be," I said, wryly.

I wandered up to the majordomo, presented the slip of paper with my name and number on it, and walked past him.

"Number thirteen, and... what the devil?" The bookish stallion frowned. "How am I supposed to pronounce it?"

'Not my fault you don't know old unicornian,' I thought to myself smugly, and pushed into the space between the towering double doors. At once, all humor disappeared from me and I ducked my head further under my hood.

"Please approach."

That voice. Older, more mature, but so unmistakable. I nearly missed a step as I proceeded toward what looked like a respectable distance from the throne. Of course, I could only see the very bottom of the structure, but that seemed like a fair guess.

'Look up,' I told myself.

"I hear you have come to present an ancient manuscript," said the princess.

'You coward, look up.'

"I do not believe I caught your name- was the majordomo still present beyond the doors? Guard, go check to see if he's alright."

"Yes, your highness."

I shakily took the bundle of parchment and held it out in one hoof. An azure glow enclosed it and gently lifted it away. There was a sharp breath from ahead of me.

"Oh my. Did... did you find this? Was it given to you? Were you perhaps charged to hold onto it until this date by some ancestor of yours?" The voice speaking the questions was tightly controlled, but insistent all the same.

"I..." My throat narrowed.

"I must insist you tell me everything you can. Was this sealed? I detect no enchantments on it, and yet others of its ilk have all been guarded very tightly."

"I'm sorry," I wheezed.

There was silence.

"Pardon?" she asked, finally.

"I'm... sorry. I hoped in my heart of hearts that I might provide it at a sooner date, but I... I only just put finish to it."

"I don't understand," said Luna. "Are you... mocking me?"

"No! Never!" I couldn't stop myself. Should never have tried to in the first place, perhaps. I looked up from under my hood, up at the dark, dazzling figure upon her throne. "I am just so very, very sorry I took so long. I... hope you like it, Luna. And Tia. And..." I froze.

Not even the flare of light from Luna's horn, nearly blinding me, could make me flinch. The pale alicorn still wrapped in a bedspread and falling onto her back beside the throne couldn't bring me to move a single inch.

"Luna! What in the name of all that's good-"

The disgruntled elder sister was roughly dragged up with telekinesis. "Wake up and open your eyes, Tia!" Luna aimed her sister toward myself, built a small cascade of magic, and my cloak was relocated with hardly a whisper halfway down the throne room.

Two sisters stared.

I hunched over. "I'm sorry. I tried to come sooner."

"Luna? What is- Is that...?"

"Just look at her!"

"I did my best, I'm sorry..."

I felt the air of two passing figures approach me, my nerves keyed-up enough that I could have noticed a single flea's path. I wanted to burrow down through the marble floor and sink into the earth forever. Words couldn't describe my failure, and deeds couldn't make up for it.

"I'm so sorry."

Two warm bodies grabbed me from either side. Two voices spoke as one:

"You came back."

Appointments had been put on hold. A near-psychic glance from Tia had sent several servants to prepare a sitting room filled with a roaring fire and more cushions than I'd seen in my entire life. I was squashed in a pile of them by both my daughters, who'd simply teleported us to the room as a group rather than bother with all that silly 'getting up and walking' business.

"I used Starswirl's spell," I croaked. "There was interference. I went too far forward, and... I knew it might go wrong, that I might even die in the attempt, so I sent books, first..."

"We got them," said Tia.

"All of them," said Luna.

"I, I knew," I stuttered, still trying to explain. "I had an idea, about how... with history, and all. I had plans. Mad, intricate plans to circumvent causality, if I had to. I swear, I'd have built my own Nightmare, spirited you away, Luna, let the world think you were away while you were sane and safe and... oh gods I'm so sorry I failed."

Luna shuddered and held me tighter. Celestia wrapped her wings further around the both of us.

"Please, please don't hate me. Be angry, be sad, don't let me have scarred you, you deserve better than that..."

"You came back," whispered Celestia. "You promised you'd come back, and you did. You did everything you could."

"Please don't go away again," said Luna. My coat was growing damp.

"Never."

Silence, broken only by the crackling fire, ruled the air for a time I didn't bother to measure.

"Did Starswirl take care of you?" I asked, breaking the quiet.

"Of course he did," said Luna, snorting. "He was too afraid you'd find out if he didn't."

"Damned right," I muttered, and Tia giggled.

"So." Luna withdrew slightly, until she could look me in the eye. She had my eyes. "We have put some of it together, of course, and a lot more became obvious during Twilight Sparkle's latest adventure, but..."

"Yeah," I said, grinning crookedly. "I was a human. I tried to follow my friends back across the rift, cobbled together something close enough to a real magic spell to make it work. It... it didn't work well, mind you. I think I left bits of myself on your front lawn."

"Mother!" Tia looked absolutely, adorably appalled.

I laughed. "Sorry. Right. After that I was... not at my best. I cast the quickest, dirtiest spell imaginable to try to adapt a human body for a magical environment. I don't know where time travel entered in, but I woke up with a tail and wings about eighty or so years before you were born. Alien, unaging body, alien environment... It took months just to learn how to fit in. I had a plan, you know."

"A plan," I repeated, sighing. "The whole knack for magic was a bit of an accidental discovery. I thought about something to safely transform myself back into a human, but that would have left me as an alien among strangers. I thought about finding what Starswirl managed, and just jumping ahead a bit before asking for help from, well, you girls," I admitted.

"I imagine you'd have been confused by our first reaction, were that to have happened," said Luna with a grin.

I groaned. "I can only imagine. 'Surprise babies' is not a thing they make greeting cards for. Not reputable ones, anyways. Back on topic though- I still didn't have a reference for when I was. That sort of left me with little to do but wander. Which I did. And kept doing. By the time I figured out when I was, I'd been a pony almost twice as long as I'd been a human, and couldn't say I minded it. I... I still wanted to meet my old friends, but knew I had a wait ahead of me no matter what. And then your father just... caught me off-guard."

"I'll say he did," said Tia.

I colored. "Celestia Minerva Whittle!" The mare froze. "This is exposition time, and you will hold all jokes until the end!"

"Yes, mama," said Tia, shocked by her own reaction. Luna went about things differently. Namely, she collapsed into laughter.

"Sister, your face!"

Tia and I both groaned. "Luna," I said, "I swear I'll have you re-shelving the library."

The younger sister looked appalled, all amusement wiped away. "Mother, I am a princess now. I am centuries older than you!"

I leveled a steady, uncompromising gaze at her. Her eyes widened, wet and sad, like she used to do to scam me into buying extra sugared plums.

"Good gods, mare, cut that look out! You're acting like I threatened to put you over my knee," I grumbled. "Re-shelving books is a joy, and I'm disappointed you never learned that." A thought struck me. "Oh dear, you're supposed to be holding court, aren't you? What's a princess's work week like? Can we, I mean, when you're free..."

'Perhaps we'll call you sometime,' a voice in my head filled in. 'You know, as soon as somepony invents the telephone. Enjoy your life, mother.'

I thought I'd cried myself out completely in that first embrace. How surprising, to find I was wrong.

Objectively better, I heard: "Don't be ridiculous, mother. Call it... an emergency, two-week holiday, Luna?"

"That sounds perfectly acceptable, Tia," said the smaller alicorn. "We should call up our friends- they will be glad to know that that rift turned out well, if... unexpectedly so."

Celestia brightened up. "Mother! I have adopted a dragon- you'll get to meet him! Twilight Sparkle did tell you of Spike, correct? He is absolutely adorable and... and, we have so much to tell you about!"

I grinned. "I hear I have some many times over grand-nephew, as well?"

Luna coughed. "Nominally, yes. He's... well, you have to know him to appreciate him, I suppose. The poor boy has gone through a lot, by what Tia tells me."

"I look forward to it," I said. "You're, um, we have a lot to catch up on. And apparently I speak in 'Ye Old Equish', too..." I added, since the girls had been nice enough to scale back their speech a couple of centuries for me.

"A translation spell for now, before I'm sure you'll want to catch up on your own. I think you confused my attendants a great deal," said Luna, cheerfully.

"We'll have to arrange a press release," said Celestia, thoughtfully. "A new alicorn walked into the Night Court, earlier- rumors shall be flying."

"Can't we just claim I'm a pegacorn?" I asked, plaintively. "I don't even use this thing!" I said, poking out my head ornament. "I'm a witch, not a princess!"

"I hate to point this out," said Luna, sounding not sorry at all, "but you are technically royalty by default. And a mythological figure. Our neighboring nations will want to meet you- it seems you made quite the name for yourself in pre-Equestria, 'Faust'."

"Tham'ra," I muttered. "Tham'ra Hwithle, is that so hard?"

"Yes," said Celestia, nuzzling me. She had to reach down to do so, which kept shocking me at all the wrong times.

"Daughter, you got your father's height," I said. "At least Luna's appropriately stumpy."

"I am not stumpy!" growled Luna. "A mare disappears for a few centuries, and suddenly the beauty ideal is long legs and large flanks!"

"Your flanks are lovely, dear," I told Celestia, patting her head and winking at Luna. "Oh, oh I really missed this. I half expect us to wander off and hop back into the cart and then little Luna would try to flirt with Midnight and try to get into his herd..."

Luna began banging her head into a couch, and I grinned. "Come on, Luna, it's normal for fillies to have crushes! Adorable, adorable crushes." Noticing Tia was sniggering too hard for her own good, I added, "Almost as adorable as Tia's moon-eyes toward Princess Platinum. Always hanging out with 'Auntie Clover' just to be near that prima donna. Really, given the freakish resemblance, it seems like your little drakeling is taking right after you!"

Now both mares were fighting embarrassment and laughter in equal measures.

"Speaking of my cart," I said, thinking of all my unfinished projects. Some of those manuscripts had been one-of-a-kind.

"Missing," said Luna mournfully. "Twilight Sparkle once mourned over the loss of 'the witch and the first bookmobile', I believe she called it."

Both mares turned surprised when I grinned wide. "The enchantments are still on it! I knew hooking them into that ley line would work- the thing must still be buried!" Ears flicked up, attentively. "I hid it under the Baltic... I mean, Baltimare. I have the coordinates. Girls, field trip!"

Cheers went up, and we called for cake and tea. And...

"Equestria has coffee?" I said, dumbly.

"Ever since trade opened with the zebras," said Tia. "They get it from their felid-folk neighbors. It's become quite the export."

"Truly," I breathed, reverently, "I am now home."

I'd ask not to be judged- five minutes is too long to be away from coffee, let alone decades.

I woke up in a sleeping pile. Well, most of one- Tia was burning scrolls that turned into glowing, ashy wisps as they disappeared through a window.

"Mm..." I groaned, and poked my head out from under Luna's wing. "Messages?"

"Emergency family reunion," said Tia, quietly.

"No need to whisper," said Luna, groggily. "I'm up. Is it breakfast?"

"It's breakfast time somewhere," said Tia with a shrug. "To the dining room, then. If I'm not wrong, we'll be receiving some guests via emergency-teleport within the hour."

"Salmon," I said. "On potato pancakes. And... is pineapple a thing?"

"Pineapple is a thing," said Luna, grinning into my neck. I laughed.

We strolled down the hall together, bumping into each other like grinning fools and confusing the hell out of the early-morning help.

"Hark! Potato pancakes and other sundries!" shouted Luna. Several of the servants got the general idea and bustled off. The three of us pushed into the dining hall which was... swank. There weren't really words that did any of this castle justice.

"You've really gone up in the world," I muttered, staring up at the still-dark but decorative windows.

"We have," said Tia, nudging me toward a deep, violet cushion. "This is your home, your country, too."

"Always wanted to see Equestria," I said, dust having gotten into my eyes because there was no other possible explanation.

The doors at the other end of the room exploded- possibly because they had a sense of dramatic timing. Six mares and a dragon poured into the room. At their head, Twilight Sparkle hopped around manically, a spell ready on her horn.

"Celestia, Luna! You said it was urgent! Where's..." She slowed down, glancing around the room and at its complete lack of bloodshed. She sighed. "I overreacted again, didn't I?"

"Duh!" groaned Rainbow Dash. "Seriously, who cut into my party time now?"

I guiltily waved my hoof. "Hi, girls. Long time no see."

"Who's this joker?" asked the speedster. To either side of me, the girls went red, their ribs subtly shaking.

"Geez, Rainbow," I said. "You steal my pizza, fall asleep in my bath tub, and shed all over my couch, and you still can't bother to say 'hi' to me?"

The pegasus fell out of the air.

Pinkie, vibrating madly and grinning, well, just as madly, hopped up onto the table. "Hi, Tham'ra! Ooh! You're an alicorn, now! And you have the same name as-"

"Spoilers, Pinkie," I said, and she began nodding and winking, in a conspiratorial way. Only about five times faster than seemed strictly necessary.

"What in every fresh hell?" muttered Applejack, wide-eyed.

"Twilight?" I prompted. "Your warnings about time travel were truer than you imagined. You've all, um, met my daughters?" I said, gesturing between Luna and Tia.

Fluttershy and Rarity fainted simultaneously, but in such a way that their bodies ended up supporting each other in a kind of furry, upright triangle. Pinkie began chasing her own tail. Out of joy, I suspected. Rainbow began laughing uncontrollably. Applejack pulled off her hat, looked in it for some reason, then put it back on. Twilight froze in place, eyes shrunken to pinpricks.

"Mother, you... pff! You broke my ex-student!" said Tia, trying to talk through a full-bellied laugh.

"Sit down, everybody! They're about to serve breakfast!" I said, waving them forward. "Ponies have coffee, now- isn't that great?" Their responses didn't change. I sighed. "Scuse me, girls," I said, extricating myself gently and wandering around the table. I stopped before Spike, who was poking gently at Twilight's shoulder. "Hello, grandson. I probably owe you a few birthday presents, don't I?"

He was taller than the show had portrayed him as- wide-eyed and handsome, for a drake. I prayed Tia had baby pictures.

"Can I get a hug?" I asked.

He looked from Twilight, to Tia, who was nodding eagerly, then to me. I was nearly bowled over as I was hugged by my first-ever dragon. Most of the drakes I'd met had been substantially less friendly.

"Tia tells me you've become quite the librarian," I whispered. "It's sort of the family business- I'm very proud." He grabbed tighter, and tighter. Or, I thought he did, until I realized that it was just that Pinkie had joined the hug.

"This is awesome! This is mega-super-triple-cake fantastical! We're gonna have the biggest bash since Luna came back, and we'll need balloons! No- hot air balloons! And they can drop cold-air balloons! It's gonna be balloon-ception!"

"Should never have shown you my movie collection, Pinkie," I said.

The pink mare, was busy with her attention turned elsewhere, already. "Girls! Get in on this- this is primo hug-time!"

Rainbow was first, then Applejack, and then Pinkie subtly nudged us over until Rarity and Fluttershy were unconsciously collapsed on us rather than on each other.

'I... guess that counts as a hug?'

"Twilight? Get in on this!" I called through a pile of scales and fur. "Pinkie already told you, it's primo hug-time."

A purple blob literally threw itself on top of our heads.

I managed to put off breathing for about five minutes until Luna caught our attention and announced that breakfast had arrived. I caught all seven figures in Ghostly Hands and dropped them around the table. I hopped back in between my daughters.

Twilight, who was responding to the outside world again, freaked out. "How are you doing that without magic!?" she asked as huge platters full of hot food were placed on the long table. Obviously, the lack of an aura had caught her off guard.

"I'm not!" I said, defensively. "I've only had a horn for, like, six years. I've been doing magic for over eighty," I told her, to explain the lack of obvious, colored magic aura. "I was the 'wicked witch Tham'ra' long before I was 'Fausticorn'. I have to go back and punch some minotaurs for naming me 'fist'," I added, grumbling.

"Oh mah gosh you're the baby-stealer!" called Applejack, freaking out.

I pouted, but Luna nuzzled me and said, "I got the same thing, after coming back. Applejack! Our mother did not eat babies!"

Rainbow laughed while the country mare did her best to disappear under her stetson hat. "I knew it! A real pegasus witch! Suck it, unicorns!"

I grinned, gathered some vapor script, and projected an illusion of my old human self over her shoulder. "That's 'ex-human turned pegasus turned alicorn witch, thank you very much."

The mare tumbled back out of her chair. My illusion winked and disappeared.

Fluttershy giggled. "Oh my, I think you got some details wrong... Tham'ra? Faust? Er... princess?"

"I think 'Tham'ra' is good," I said, good-naturedly, before frowning. "Did I? Get it wrong, I mean. It's... been a while." I brought the illusion back up and made it wave.

"You were... taller," said Fluttershy quietly. "Um... smaller eyes? And..."

"I get it," I said, dismissing the image and sighing. "No big deal. I'm happier as a pony- have been for a while. I was infertile as a human, anyway," I added, burying my head into Tia's side. "I got to see so many places, meet so many people... not having fingers still sucks a little, thought- all that sign language learned for nothing."

"But... but how did this happen?" asked Twilight, seemingly unaware that Spike was piling her plate full of daisies and waffles.

I winked at the drake, proud he was such a good friend. "I'm still working some of that out. There were a lot of coincidences and self-fulfilling prophecies involved, though." I grinned, wide. "Want to come dig up my library, whenever? The girls and I are going on an expedition. How many dialects do you speak?"

"You're talking about..." the young alicorn began hyperventilating. "The Estate Library? It's real?"

"We lived in it," said Celestia, building a pile of pancakes to truly impressive heights. "It's where I learned to read. We used to candy fruit peels over the little camp stove."

"You remember that?" I asked, unable to push away my grin.

"Luna and I still do so on our own, sometimes," she admitted.

"But citrus is... no, it's less expensive these days, isn't it?" I mused out loud.

"Princesses," Luna reminded me, poking my side. "We can afford to candy entire rare palm trees at a time."

"Ah. Right," I said. "So, who wants to see an ancient library full of forgotten lore? I managed to pick up a few volumes from and about the Hearths' Warming Eve crew. Commander Hurricane wrote an extensive treatise, and the Smart Cookie wrote about settling the... I guess it's the Neighagra area, now?"

Interested looks were turning toward me. I busily shoved slices of salmon and dollops of sour cream onto my pile of potato pancakes until Rarity cleared her throat. "Hmm?"

"Er, just like that, darling? Ah... Princess Tham'ra?"

"I'm not a princess!" I groaned. "And just like that, yes. Dang it, I'm a linguist! Like one of those crazy monks writing out manuscripts in their little religion boxes, but with nicer hair."

"Religion boxes?" asked Spike, grinning.

I shrugged. "It was more like in a tree, waiting for the wild panthers to stop trying to climb after me when I was stuck with a sprained wing. That was a bad summer," I admitted. "Unimportant."

"Commander Hurricane wrote stuff?" asked Rainbow.

"Well, yeah?" I said, confused. "She led the entire tribe for over four decades. She wrote about ambush tactics, and weaponizing lightning against the sea ponies before they, somehow, weaponized it right back at them... The girl was pretty hardcore."

"Princess Platinum?"

"Smart Cookie?"

"Starswirl?" squealed Twilight.

"Yes, yes," I said, pointing at the questioners in turn, "and he was like a crotchety little brother. He's where I got the time-jumping spell I screwed up on. Still, I got to see him conduct the unicorns in raising the outer spheres. That was beautiful," I said, mind going back to the massive, arcane constructions that ringed the Paradise Estate. They had lit the dawn and dusk sky in coruscating colors...

"I need to work on my illusions and show these things to you," I said, feeling my voice go distant.

"Speaking of which, sister?" prompted Luna.

Tia nodded. "From here, I think."

I watched, first with curiosity, then with growing excitement as they stood and separated, going to opposite ends of the halls. The rest of the diners went quiet at the same time.

Both sisters glowed, astral manes moving more fiercely as light glinted off them and was, in turn, answered by the dimming moon in the rest and the rising strains of dawn in the east.

"I've never seen it like this," I whispered. Something, some feeling at the base of my horn resonated with it. "Never..."

I began laughing, and crying, and wasn't quite sure why.

"My cloak is fine. My cloak is classic. I am a witch, witch means cloak, cloak means witch."

"It is literally made of patches!"

I growled, and leaned in. "Girly, don't test me! I've made entire platoons of battle mages disappear, all while wearing, gosh, my cloak!"

Rarity didn't look impressed. "They were surely distracted by your lack of style."

"No! Less is more, solid colors are good, and I had to keep at least one bit of sensible thinking from back when I had toes!"

The both of us ignored Applejack, who was laughing into her hat like a loon. Her criticism was not, in fact, constructive criticism.

"You're to be presented to the greater part of the population!" whined Rarity. "We can't have you wandering about like a transient!"

"I am a transient, Rarity! They didn't have luxury hotels for what is, for me, twenty hours ago!"

"You poor dear!" snarked the fashionista. "That they didn't have novelty tee shirts either!" She leaned in and glowered. "I saw your wardrobe, Tham'ra. Remember?"

"You destroyed my favorite Homestuck tee shirt!" I growled back, suddenly reminded of the event.

"I don't even know what that means!"

"Philistine!"

"Bumpkin!"

"Prissy!" I called back.

Rarity scowled. "Hipster."

I growled feraly, and Rainbow had to catch me in mid-air. Rarity didn't so much as flinch.

"Let me replace it... with a similar cut, in... red," she offered, primly.

"Dark red," I countered.

"Violet lining?"

"Fine!" I said, throwing out my hooves as Rainbow tried to gently place me back down. "But I want every one of my pockets in there. And..." I bit my lip, almost sheepishly. "Maybe more room in the hood?" I glared up, cross-eyed at my horn. "It keeps snagging."

"Deal," said Rarity, turning to a pile of fabric that she'd begged off of the castle supplies.

"What just happened?" asked Applejack.

"I'm dressing nicely for my walk of shame," I replied, sighing.

"So dramatic!" called Rarity over her back. "Would you like to borrow my fainting couch?"

"Try to dress me in a saddle and I'll beat you with a couch!" I called back. It was good to have my friends back. "Where are the other girls?" I asked.

"Around," said Rainbow, waving off the question. "Can you do that picture thing? With Commander Hurricane?"

"I suppose," I said, grin growing over my face. I pulled up a modified Illusive Illusion, which had gotten more refined over the years. This version pulled directly from my memories.

A weather-beaten, savagely grinning commander appeared, tugging her armor tighter with her teeth on the straps, adjusting her wingblades, and making sure her dull, rainbow mane was pulled back tight and out of her eyes.

Rainbow grinned, but shook her head. "No, seriously. What did she look like?"

I grinned right back. "Yes, seriously, this is her. You can ask my daughters if you want them to vouch for me. I think I've got sound down, too..."

"Maggots!" the illusion shouted, causing the other three ponies to jump. "That unicorn outpost is right under us. We're going to literally drop a village on them. Stallions and foals to the battlements, platoon leaders, you're about to shoot lightning out your parlors! Lady witch, if you interfere, I will chase you to the border! You can go fuck around with the sea ponies, you crazy bitch!"

"I totally interfered," I said through a set of smiling teeth.

"So... cool!" squealed Rainbow Dash.

"Um... can ya do..." Applejack tried to say.

I nodded. "Not a problem. This is... well, this is right after the Chancellor died, but before Cookie got voted in to lead the tribe herself," I said.

I had to square myself a bit before the entire scene came to mind, pushing my illusion to its limits. The room around us disappeared, and an image of me with the girls, and Smart Cookie at an imaginary doorway disappeared. All the other ponies watched solemnly as I tried to explain to Luna and Tia what death meant. It was my clearest memory of Smart Cookie, however.

"Oh. Oh..." said Rarity. "Those were... and that was... I never imagined they looked so small."

"After their father died, we walked into a world at war," I said, throat gone a little raspy. "Smart Cookie kept the revolution fed, after that. Even at our worst, we never starved. She used to sneak strawberries to Luna and Tia."

Rainbow tried to poke Luna's fluffy blue mane, but her hoof went through. "Dang, this seriously beats those baby pictures dad keeps around."

"Later on I'll show you newborn Celestia," I said, conspiratorially. "Only after we get Twilight in on it- her head will explode."

"Ha!"

The three of us stared at an embarrassed-looking Rarity. "What?" she asked. "Go on, the lot of you. I need peace to work!"

I dismissed the illusion and had to follow Rainbow Dash and Applejack downstairs, since the castle still seemed like a maze to me.

"You know," I told the earth pony, "I think I met some of your kin just about everywhere I went. I think the Apples have a longer pedigree than King Bullion's own line."

"Shucks, none of that ever mattered to us," said Applejack. "Always good to hear about family, though. You friends with any of them?" She paused. "You ain't mah granny's granny, are you?"

I barked out a laugh. "No! I only ever had two. Now, if one of my girls ever got a taste for country mare, well, I haven't asked about that yet." I sighed. "Got a lot of their lives to catch up on."

"Seems you at least got the most important bits down," said Applejack, nudging her shoulder to mine. "And look at you! Used to flinch if somepony touched elbows with ya, back when you were human."

"Elbows." Rainbow slapped at her own face. "Almost forgot about that one. Cripes."

"Too much time as a pony," I said, pretending to sound sad about the whole thing. "A whole race that can't help but snuggle anything in sight, you... we... are."

We had managed to reach one of the many halls of the castle, this one hosting my daughters as well as the other girls.

"Wait, hold on," said Applejack. "If you raised th' princesses... how much stuff around here is borrowed from humans that we didn't know about it?"

I stopped, mid-stride, as the hall went quiet. I blinked at her. "Nothing at all, that I'm aware of."

"Seriously?" asked the cowpony. "You ain't secretly changed history or nothin', just because?"

"Applejack, the girls never knew I wasn't born a pony. I sang pony lullabies to them, or wrote my own. I wrote books for them growing up, because the tribes didn't have much in the way of printing and even less in the way of childrens' literature." I twitched aside my -admittedly somewhat careworn- cloak and pointed at my cutie mark. "I got this after I had Tia, and promised to write stories that would help her and, later on her sibling too, to grow up to be good ponies. I was going to save the whole 'hey, you're half monkey' speech until later."

"She's the one who wrote, 'Between The Trees'," said Tia. "I have that one republished every fifty years, with the original woodcut drawings."

"Wow, really?!" said Pinky. "Granny Pie read that to me!"

"Oh? That's, um..." I swallowed.

"And 'Under Moonlight'," said Luna. My heart stopped.

"I never heard of that one," said Fluttershy. "Is it very old?"

"It never had a chance to be reprinted," said the moon princess, teleporting a slim volume into the space in front of her. A thin line of gray dust -from the moon, I noted to myself, quietly- ran off the binding.

"You got that?" I asked, voice strained. She nodded. "Oh. Good."

"Mother?" asked Tia, looking worried.

"I... she would have received it about... about one-thousand and eight years ago," I explained. "In case I couldn't change things."

"In brightest skies or coolest valleys, and where the sun never shows its face, true love is unconditional, and saves us with its grace," quoted Luna. "Shadowed as you mayhap be, in moonlight clear and bright, I await your step on our home's hearth, where family sleeps at night. Where strides grow longer in the dark, must we then faster run, to see another once again, in moonlight or in sun."

"And never," I finished, "did we wait, where waiting ever was a chore. Where Winter left us to ourselves, we met again once more."

In the quiet after we finished, there were some light sniffles from the peanut gallery.

"I should go finish that cloak," said Rarity, excusing herself.

"We need to help the kitchens," said Applejack, pulling along a bawling Pinkie.

"I gotta do a thing," said Rainbow, likewise leaving.

Only I, the three princesses, and Fluttershy were left. The shy pegasus patted Luna on the side, gently.

"She left that for you before you became Nightmare Moon, didn't she?"

"After, actually. She left messages everywhere, for the both of us," said Celestia. "Zebrican monks whom we never managed to track down delivered volumes, periodically. Notes were left in strange places, on monuments or in hidden spots that the kingdom's cartographers discovered only after Discord banished her."

"Just in case," I said, which sounded pretty empty even to my own ears. 'Just in case' was the case.'

"So!" I said. "I get to meet my highly confused and adoring public, right? How many of them think I eat babies?"

Four hooves met four faces.

"It will be fine, or else I start banishing ponies to the frozen north," said Luna.

"The frozen north is actually quite nice these days, Luna, what with Cadence and Shining Armor," Tia reminded her.

"Well, I do not wish to be utterly unfair," replied the younger diarch. "Would you like to take a bath first, mother? I'm sure lady Rarity should have your... 'transient couture' ready by then," she added with a grin.

"All these centuries and you still can't help but listen at doors," I said, with a sigh. "The girls and Spike are so getting your baby pictures."

Luna tossed her mane dismissively. "There were no camera devices at that time, mother."

I began walking away, dragging along Tia so she could point me toward a bath. Behind me, clear as day, the illusion of a tiny, cobalt filly with missing front teeth appeared in thin air, holding up a grasshopper.

"Mama!" called a tiny, illusory voice. "Found a bug!"

Twilight and Fluttershy began laughing. Luna began shrieking and trying to disrupt the spell matrix.

"I'm Woona, I'm three!"

"This is stupid. I don't do well in crowds. Sweet festering ancestors, this is bad."

"Mother, how much coffee have you had?" asked Tia.

I glowered. "All of it."

"I'm getting you some chamomile," she announced, trotting away.

"No!" I turned to Twilight, who was gazing through some tome that looked especially juicy. "Twilight, make her stop!"

The purple alicorn raised an eyebrow, but didn't bother looking up from the page. "She's your daughter, which admittedly still boggles my mind, and I'm still barely not her student anymore. You're on your own."

I whimpered.

Reluctantly, she looked up. "It will be okay, Tham'ra, it's just a small group. I know it can be hard, but this can't be harder than... gosh, you traveled a long way to get here." She sounded broken up.

"Wanted to surprise you," I admitted. "I thought it would help your research. You... you and the others were, pardon my wording, the first real bit of magic in my life. I suppose I didn't want to let you go so soon."

"Oh," said Twilight, looking shocked and not a bit sad. "You don't, you know, plan on trying to leave, now, do you?"

My head shook, violently. "Not at all! My family's here, my life is here, for as much in shambles as it looks to be."

"You didn't leave any family behind?" she asked.

"I hadn't seen them for a long time, before I met you. And they didn't want to see me." When she looked at me without comprehension, I said, "They kicked me out, Twilight. I was a step away from living on the street. Besides," I said, thinking back to Linda, "I've got reasons to think it didn't... wouldn't have worked, even had I tried."

"So you're staying?" she asked, stepping closer.

"Yes. Undoubtedly, utterly, completely yes. I guess we get to stay nerd-buddies."

"Dummy," said the mare, grinning. "It's been less than a year for me, but no matter how long it's been for you, you've barely changed."

"Are you kidding? I'm almost a grown-up, by now!" I complained. Twilight giggled and leaned in.

"I'm glad you're staying," she whispered in my ear.

An instant later she was back at her book, scrutinizing it with laser-like intensity as I tried to figure out what the hell just happened. I turned, and my wings nearly knocked over a lamp. I glared at them.

'No. Hell no! Stop that! I don't care if it's been... oh god it's been twenty years,' I moaned inside my own head. And this was Twilight- the mare I'd spent months talking to about magic and culture and the mysteries of the universe and I may, may, have violated one of nature's many orifices in my ill-fated attempt to follow her.

'I am an old woman and I should not be doing this. I should be knitting- Rarity must know some patterns.'

And because thinking of her must, somehow, summon her, Rarity walked back in.

"Finished!" she declared, carrying a box. "Despite my severe and unfair limitations, I managed to come up with something just barely acceptable!"

"No gems, right?" I asked.

She rolled her eyes and thrust the box at me. "No gems."

"Thank you," I said, flipping it open. "Gems make me nervous. Bump into one chunk of cosmic spectrum crystal and you start growing new appendages, you know?"

"Oh, I hate when that happens," snarked Rarity, classy dame that she was. "Come, Twilight dear, we need to get ourselves dressed."

"Oh! Right. See you in a bit, Tham'ra," she said, waving one wing as Rarity pulled her away.

"Mother, are you staring at- oh my goodness you're staring at-!"

I spun, wrapped Luna in a Silent Sphere, and glowered. "No I'm not! Why are you part cat? Stop sneaking up on me!"

Instead of looking properly contrite, the alicorn was grinning like a -ah ha- lunatic. I released the spell, and she squeed. "Are you dating? Are you going to be in a herd? I will not call her 'mother', but I will absolutely by rooting for-"

And... I put the spell up again.

Luna looked affronted. "Why so upset? This mare you chased across both time and space-"

"What?" I blinked. "Luna, what are you even..." Then understanding dawned. "No, daughter. I was honestly, truly just looking to not get cut off from my friend. I didn't even consider that sort of pursuit outside my own... that is, outside the human race until I myself had changed."

The taller alicorn frowned. "Whyever not?"

I decided not to go the route of explaining Earth's one-sapient-species circumstance, or how reluctant being a transwoman had made me in pursuing anybody at all. Frankly, my first-ever herd had been a result of stress, confusion, and some kind of Stockholm Syndrome, even if my 'captor' had been a planet full of alien cultures.

It was funny how, even in the light of long-earned perspective, I still didn't regret a single moment of it.

"Not the point," I settled for saying. "The point is... that it wasn't like that."

Luna shrugged. "Fair, and I won't press. But since that has changed -my existence being a fine piece of evidence- then why shouldn't you?" Her expression grew a devious grin. "And perhaps provide more siblings, somewhere along the lines?"

"Luna, no!" I glared around, insured that we were alone, and faced her again. "I just got you girls back, alright? I'm not about to go... go chase the tail of some friend I've not seen in over a century!" I hissed, then dropped the spell once more.

"Ah," she said, understandingly. "How long should one wait after such a dramatic arrival, do you think, before it is alright to chase tail, then?"

"What?" Suspicion percolated in my brain. "Luna! Who is it?"

"I'm sure it's of no importance, at the moment," said the mare, nervous.

"Who is he? She? ...Them? Daughter, I'm going to meet this person, at some point."

"Oh, look, it's Tia! Hello, sister!" shouted Luna, desperately. "Come see mother's new cloak!"

"It looks lovely," said Tia, bemused. "How do you like it?" she asked.

I tugged at it, and nodded. "Proper weight, fits all the necessities, and Rarity didn't turn it into a frilly nightmare. Quite nice." I leaned in, kissed Tia's cheek, and whispered, "Do you know who she's dating?"

"I've been trying to find out," she mumbled back. Both of us turned and stared at Luna.

"I shall go ready the refreshments!" she declared, and bolted.

"I say we chase her down, tonight," I suggested.

"Two mares can corner her where one has failed," said my eldest. "Before that, though, are you ready to go?"

"Unless you want to let your dear, elderly mother off the hook?" I tried.

Tia snorted. "In a pit fight between you and the dragon, I'd lay even odds on you either defeating him or converting him to your latest, crazy scheme."

"That's entirely fair."