"What do you mean, she's gone?!!?"

The hapless guard mentally recoiled, wanting nothing more than to be... anywhere else at this given point in time. Anything would be better than being stared down by one of the the captains of the guard, attempting to explain why and how the only prisoner that had imprisoned in the dungeon for over seven hundred years managed to escape not only without a trace, but in less than an HOUR.

"She's... she's gone."

"I realize that," Captain Shining Armor retorted testily, "tell me how."

Split Streak swallowed an icy wad of spit, trying to compose himself. He knew he'd be lucky to get off easy with latrine duty for the rest of the year.

"It... like I told my sergeant, the prisoner was deposited in her cell, and less than ten minutes later I heard a tremendous explosion. It shook the entire place, spilled my coffee all over me!" Split Streak made sure to point at his breastplate still stained brown, any sympathy points he could garner would most likely lead to a less harsh punishment upon himself.

"After I made sure everything was alright topside, I hurried down to check on the prisoner. And... well..."

Shining Armor knew exactly what the guard had seen upon descending the stairs. A giant hole in the wall of the prisoners cell leading to the outside, all the magical wards and charms and other defenses torn through like tissue paper. Oddly enough, the damage seemed to have been done from the outside, which was impossible.

Even if she had been able to sneak one of her automatons big enough to cause the damage present into the city unseen, there was no way anything from the outside could have broken into the cell.

The walls themselves were designed and enchanted to deflect and absorb all kinetic energy, recycling it to strengthen the walls and the magic seals. So it was supposed to be impossible.

Shining Armor let out a harried sigh, "Very well, that will be all. Return to your post and wait for further orders."

"Yes sir!"

Shining Armor let out another low sigh, dreading the literal tidal wave of paper work he was going to have to slog through now. Even when she wasn't here, that blasted human was making a mess of things for him. He had been almost relieved when the Princess banished her from ever stepping a hoof in Canterlot after the waffle iron incident, and they were still finding the blasted breakfast makers, wandering around throughout the city. They were easily enough warded off if you just kept a jar of syrup in a saddlebag, but a majority of the Canterlot elite found themselves above... carrying things.

Maple syrup shouldn't be something you equip every guard with, he lamented.

There hadn't been any evidence remaining at the cell, besides crumbled portions of the cell itself. And that's mainly what was so worrying. There should have been damaged spellwork, still clinging to the walls. But its like somepony had simply come in, undone everything in under a minute, dissolved the framework, returned all ambient magic to a balance and then broke her out. Which of course was again, impossible.

Celestia herself had constructed the cell, in anticipation of Nightmare Moon. If the element bearers -Shining armor got a momentary pang of loneliness, he really had to start writing letters to his sister more often,- had proven unsuccessful, Celestia would have had an elite group of guards lead the parasitic Princess into a trap, effectively nullifying her abilities.

Shining Armor sighed once more to himself, opening the door to his office and trudging along the halls towards the throne room. Whatever trepidation the lowly private had show towards him during his interrogation, he would be feeling double knowing he had to report that not only had Gaige escaped a seemingly airtight prison cell, and not only that she had apparently done so effortlessly without leaving behind the slightest clue as to how she had done so, there was also the most humiliating bit of information about this event.

Nopony had seen even a single thing. Oh, there was a couple reports of civvies claiming to have seen an explosion, but nothing more than that. Not what caused the explosion, or how it was caused. Besides that, nopony had the slightest idea something was wrong. You'd think that a five foot bipedal creature with its mammaries on its chest would have been easy enough to track through a city of... admittedly less than tolerant ponies.

He reached the dreaded gateway, its large door already flung open to deal with the influx of guards reporting in to the princess.

"Shining Armor!" Shining Armor almost skipped a beat, so overjoyed had the Princesses voice seemed at the sight of him. She probably thought he brought new information, and now it was his duty to disappoint her of such a notion. "Please, tell me you've learned something new."

"I... Sadly, no. Its precisely as it was first reported. The cell was destroyed, and the Mechromancer has yet to be spotted. I hesitate to refer to this as her 'vanishing without a trace'," he winced as Princess Celestia's brows furrowed in worry, but continued all the same, "But if ever there's been a case for it, this would be pretty darn close. Nopony has the slightest clue how she escaped, nopony saw anything, and for some reason the none of the tracking spells can even so much as give a vague direction."

Shining armor continued as his Princesses face fell further and further from its previous expression of jovial relief, causing him to stumble over his words a few times as he tried to think of ways he could soften the blow.

"...Very well," Celestia started, shaking him out of his reverie, "Put the entire guard on high alert. Have them search the city, we need to check every last nook and cranny she could have possibly wormed herself away in. And above all, reassure the citizens of Canterlot that this is simply a way they can help their princess, we don't want any unwarranted unrest-"

A loud crash of broken glass echoed throughout the room, as a black disk shaped blob of metal descended through a destroyed window. Shining Armor immediately put himself between the Princess and the automaton, erecting a shield, and then folding the shield in on itself trice to further its defensive properties. Not even his wife could break through this now, a perfect defense for his Princess.

Oddly enough the device didn't... attack. It hovered there in the middle of the room, seeming to goad the surrounding guards into preparation, as if to say 'go ahead, it won't matter'. Finally over twenty guards stood at the ready, more than a few over zealous ones erecting their own shields between the device and Princess Celestia.

"Gaige," she hissed, the sound a choked whisper through her lips, "What are you up to now?"

"VOICE PRINT RECOGNIZED, RECIPIENT LOCATED," buzzed out of the device, shocking those present with its alien inflections, and scarily enough, fake sounding voice. "PROCEEDING WITH MESSAGE."

Celestia shook her head, a single time to dislodge any potential cobwebs that may have somehow gotten lodged between her ears. This... thing was going to deliver a message? She would almost welcome Gaige having come to deliver it in person, this things voice was grating and painful beyond what she had ever experienced from another living being before. Why couldn't she have simply sent a letter if she wanted to get a message across? Why-

A bright light shot out the top of the device, coalescing into the familiar form of the prankster mechanic. A few of the pegasi guards took this as an opportunity to try to tackle her, but in their attempts they simply passed through her, distorting the image.

"Hold!" Celestia roared, gaining the attention of every guard present within the throne room, and a fair amount of those without. "Tis simply an illusion! She is not here."

"Sorry about that," The image of Gaige said, her voice coming clear and bubbly from the device, "Had to wait until someone tried that, holograms, you idjits."

"Gaige! You will turn yourself over, and we will convene this matter in a peaceful solution!" Celestia called out, eager to put her off her guard. They had to detain her, and as quickly as possible. There was no telling the amount of damage she could achieve now that they hadn't even the foggiest of where she even was! "I promise that-"

"Aaaaaaaand," Gaige cut in, interrupting her. "This is just a message. I'm not actually there, this was recorded beforehand! Sorry, just knew Celestia would be dumb enough to try to talk to the freaking letter," she stated, giggling madly to herself. "Anyhoo... Celestia. It's time we end this," she stated, her expression growing hard and cold. "I'm not going to run. Its been a while since I've seen you, I know, you might have thought I went and died off in a ditch somewhere over the past month for all I know. Sorry about the building, by the way. That was just the by product of a token from my new friend. Real twoface kinda guy, I'm sure you would have liked him. Anyway, I've had a month to think over the little stunt you tried to pull with the Elements, and frankly, I don't feel like letting you escalate." The image of Gaige let a slow smile part her lips.

"I found this excellent place in town, goes by the name of Donut Joes. You and me. Lets talk. Bring however many of your friends you want to make yourself feel comfortable around me, I don't care. Don't make me wait too long, If you're not here in an hour I'll leave. No offense Joe," she stated, turning her head off to the side to look out side of the image, "These stools might be pleasant to you ponies, but this is already kinda uncomfortable. I can last maybe an hour before I have to get up bowlegged!~" she joked, a short laugh escaping her lips.

"No offense taken, ma'am," a voice said from the device. A very familiar voice, to any of those present that had ever used a bit of salary to purchase one of the best donuts in the city.

"If you've hurt him in any way-" Celestia stopped short, confused as to how and why Gaige had copied her words. At the same time she was speaking them.

"Sorry Celly, you're just too dang easy. Too predictable. 'If you've hurt him!' Sure to be the first thing out of your mouth," her expression turned thoughtful, her robotic limb stroking her chin, "That or 'I won't let you hurt him'. Something like that. Well, we're wasting daylight Princess, come and talk to me, or don't. Your choice."

The light cut out, the device letting out a single puff of smoke before filling the hall with an almost deafening air of silence.

"Captain," Celestia finally managed to force words past her lips, "Ready the guard. Make a team of ten that we can take inside the restaurant. Mobilize all other troops to surround the establishment, cut off any chance she has of escape. You, Copper Canyon!" she called out, summoning a guard to the front of the crowd, "Retrieve the elements and their bearers. If she has decided to end this," she mused, turning her attention back to Shining Armor, "Her intentions might have changed her enough to become affected by the elements. I won't claim to know why she claimed to have been gone for a month, but we must take it at face value."

Shining Armor gave her a short nod, then turned his attention to the troops scattered around him.

"All troops, fall in!"

I bought another doughnut, sending the message drone off. Hopefully those new targeting lines I had written in would make it go through the door like a normal person. Probably not, but I can hope, right?~

Another shudder of discomfort echoed through my back, and I let out a pained sigh.

"Sorry Joe, it's not like I wanna offend you, but would you mind if I brought out one of my own chairs to sit in?"

He looked around the room, even up to my Deathtrap hovering menacingly over my head. Probably wondering where I was supposed to have a chair stashed, but he should be used to things like this. At least I'm fairly certain he knows Pinkie Pie...

"Ain't no trouble. Just... take whatever you bring in, back out with you," he asked, apparently assuming I was going to go outside and get it from a cart or something. Wrong, but adorably so.

I digistructed my chair out of my arm, hopping down off the deceptively painful bar stool. "Thankee sai~ Oh yeah, I just invited the Princess here, so do you think we could something ready for her? Do you make any cake, perchance?" Chalk it up to cake butt. If she didn't want it, I'd eat it.

"Do you actually think she'll come?" he asked, shaking his head in a negative.

"Aw, pooh. Oh well, I'll just get her a bearclaw then. And I would say ninety percent chance of yes. Ten percent chance she just tries to blast me with the Elements again, but she is a rather one trick pony."

"Again?" he crooked up his eyebrow at that.

"Yeah, they tried to blast me with the Elements of Harmony. Turns out there's nothing wrong with me for them to fix. So she threw me in jail."

He shook his head, denying the claim of my story, "That don't sound like a thing the Princess would do."

"I know!" I agreed, "I full on expected her to try and get the bearers to 'rehabilitate' me or something, but nope! Pew pew, using the very essence of harmony as a weapon against something she didn't like. Hmm," I hummed, stroking my chin with my metal limb. I find I do that a lot now whenever I start thinking hard on something. And when I'm bored. And hungry. "Maybe that's why they didn't work?"

"I won't make that mistake twice," her voice sounded from behind me. Sneaky little nag, I didn't even hear her come in.

It was at that point a familiar rainbow tinged torrent of light washed over me, leaving me standing no less for wear. I turned in my seat, staring incredulously at the main six, Celestia, and a whole shitton of guardies.

"Freaking really? They didn't work the last time, what did you think was going to happen?" I asked, a tinge of anger entering my voice.

"But... they..." she mewled pitiously, all present visibly cringing away from me.

"You know, I wonder what they would do if the bearers turned them on you, Tia," I mused, "Because thats twice you've tried to have them used as a weapon against me," I picked up one of my doughnuts, a strawberry jelly filled godsend to my tongue. "They have got to be just the slightly bit perturbed at you by this point..."

"Silence! Gaige the Mechromancer, we are taking you into custody. You are under arrest. I'm sorry," she snarled, a look of sadness on her face, "This is just how it has to be."

An invisible proverbial rope inside my mind went *creak*, *creak*, *SNAP*. Seriously? I tried. I freaking tried. I tried to be nice, I tried to be polite, I tried to set up a situation where we could talk this over. Did they want to listen? Noooooooooooooooooooooooope. Fucking skaglick on a boarhinds arse.

I tried to be nice.

I reached into my vest, and depressed a button on a device sitting in the pocket.

All light in the immediate vicinity... nothing changed... but if one was vigilant, they would notice as the very colors themselves greyed out, becoming duller. The sounds of the city grew distant, as if heard through a heavy pane of glass. All music in the vicinity ceased, and died.

The pegasi were the first to notice the effects. Second by second, they flapped ever harder, trying to stay aloft. Until their hooves touched the ground, and it was beyond their control to even stand. The unicorns were next. They noticed the pegasi's plight, and quickly leapt to cast their magic spells, draining their magic into the world. A foolish endeavor. They reached the same end as the end as the pegasi, face down on the floor. The earth ponies were next. They stood their ground, believing they could overcome whatever fell spell I had cast through simple will power. Crumpled to the ground, just like the others.

Celestia was the last one standing, her mane flickering dangerously as she stared around at the multitude of ponies I had knocked down without even having removed myself from my comfy chair.

"What have you done?!!" she yelled, her aura flaring to her horn in a magnificent burst. "I told you Mechromancer, I will... not... let you... hurt..." And with that, the everpresent breeze moving through her mane ceased it's ethereal passage. Her colors dulled, and she fell to the ground, just like all those before her. They all strained to regain their footing, and they all failed.

I guess that's what happens when you disconnect the magic from a magic reliant species. Good enough for a first large scale test.

"No, this is how it's going to go down," I replied, slipping my little package out of my vest and holding it up. "Do you know what this is?" I asked, trying to keep my voice level.

"I have to assume it is the device which you used to drain us of our magic," Celestia stated, a trace of icy fear catching her dulcet tones.

"Incorrect. Your magic hasn't been drained. Notice how your cutie marks are still present?" I asked. A wave of heads turned towards their backsides, and it was all I could do to stifle a squeal of giddiness. They were so adorable! Focus Gaige, eye on target, go for gold! "This, is a magic jammer," I explained. Pinkie Pie raised a hoof tiredly, so I decided to oblige her by calling on her. "Yes, you with the pink... almost everything."

That got a giggle out of her, but didn't dissuade her question. "What flavor is it?"

"Flav- no. No no no, no. Nohohoho. No. Not that kind of jam. Its a usage of the word that means to block."

Celestia's eyes widened in shock, surprise echoing in ever facet of her reaction. Micro-expressions, mouth opening for the slightest fraction of a second, eyes widening, eyebrows raising for a moment. All gone in the blink of an eye. She was good.

"I have planted a number of these devices -of which number I will not be disclosing, but feel reassured in the knowledge that it's in the thousands.- across Equestria for the better part of the last year. I have had an entire year to prepare, so do not even begin to assume I am bluffing."

"Why are you doing this?" Celestia asked, her face and tone every inch the facade of the caring benevolent ruler. Sorry lady, that ship had already sailed. "We never threatened you in such a way-"

I let out a harsh, low laugh devoid of humor. Deathtrap copied my enthusiasm, his voice program letting out a hollow tinny laughter. I raised the device and let Deathtrap take it.

"The fact of the matter is, yes you did. You marched an inordinate amount of troops into my home -by the slightest degree of affection I can attach to a place that couldn't be different than the home I was torn from against my will- and threw me in a cage like I was some kind of... of... of animal," I spat, my voice raising a couple decibels.

Each of the faces present twitched, varying degrees ranging from embarrassment to indignation -Rainbow Dash- to even pity -Fluttershy, of course.- flashing across their mugs.

"You then carted me off to endure a punishment a majority of my race, MYSELF INCLUDED, WOULD RATHER DIE THAN BE PUT THROUGH!!!" I yelled, strings of spittle flying from my raging maw to splatter across the muzzle of Celestia. It seems in my anger I had closed the distance, putting only a couple inches between us.

"You... you can't mean that-" Celestia pleaded.

"I have never meant anything with any more finality in my life," I assured her, "I would rather die than be locked in place, unable to move, unable to breath, unable to SCREAM in terror as my mind wasted away into insanity." I ended on a deadly cold note, staring her in the eye. "Until the moment you attempted that, I viewed your threats as empty. Innocent. Non threatening."

My brow furrowed, and I placed my eye less than an inch away from Celestias own, so she couldn't look anywhere else but straight at the only thing that mattered at the moment. I heard several of the guardsponies -Shining Armor included- trying to drag themselves over, anything to protect their sovereign. Ineffectively, but kudos for effort.

"No more," I stated resolutely. "Now my kid gloves are off- No pink one, I do not mean gloves made for baby goats, I'm inferring that I've been hiding my 'true strength' and am getting serious," I rebuked Pinkie pie, gesturing to get her to stop waving her leg around. "Now, I'm going to call the shots. For trying to do what you attempted to do to me, I should -and have absolutely no qualms about- kill you all, right here and now. Eliminate the threat to my well being. But I'm not going to do that, because I actually like some of you, and it'd make them sad if I offed their friends."

I took a deep breath, slumping backwards to sit in my chair. "Remember the magic jammers? Back to them. I have placed them all over Equestria, and if I don't send them all a signal each night at a specific time, they will activate. Effectively crippling your society."

I glanced over the room, noticing the looks over horror that were circulating. "Here are my terms, so that I don't go trigger happy and hamstring your entire country. I am moving to Ponyville," I claimed, noting with satisfaction that surprise filtered across all their faces, followed by anger.

"Never in a million years!" Rainbow Dash yelled, straining to get to her hooves. She failed, of course, but again it was a nice effort.

"I am moving to Ponyville," I reinforced, "I am willing to activate the piddly little signal each and every night, if you let me be. Twilight Sparkle," her head raised at the mention of her name, "Will be allowed access to my domicile per her own voluntary will. I will not force her comings or goings, under the stipulation that she is not to remove anything from my premises. I will submit to paying for renting -and/or outright buying- the land which my domicile will rest on, as long as you do not try to overcharge me with an endless line of hidden fees. You might have noticed, I'm pretty damn smart, I do read the fine text."

Celestias eyes narrowed, I could almost sense her brain heating up as she tried to think of a way to spin this in her favor.

"Twilight Sparkle will be allowed, and encouraged to keep you up to date on whatever it is I feel like doing that given time or day or whatever. You can then offer criticism, support, whatever floats your boat about the current situation. Whether or not I follow your advice or not, is my prerogative."

"I will not allow you to continue to put my subjects in danger-" Celestia started.

"My terms are non negotiable. Either follow them to the letter, and accept where I give you slack, or Equestria will wake up one morning realizing the sun and moon aren't moving," I threatened. "You wronged me in a very personal manner, you no longer get to call the shots. This is very much a hostage situation, and be very well informed that I am holding a blade right up against your jugular. This threat will only be removed once I no longer feel threatened. Seeing as you quite easily sentenced myself to slow mental decay in a prison of stony flesh, -not once, but fucking twice- that might very well take a good long while. Might be you have to wait for me to die of old age. About a hundred years shouldn't put too much of a damper on you, but if you push me I might take offense and make those hundred years a living hell for those you care about, just to lash out at you."

"Wait... what if you do die?" Celestia asked, a suddenly panicked expression on her face, "What about the magic blocking devices? What will we do about them?"

"Pray," I responded, my voice dipping down to a whisper, "Pray that once it comes to that point, I've become more relaxed to the point of letting you out from under the heel of my boot," I stated.

Without further ado, I stood up, de-digistructing the chair from underneath me. I reached up and grabbed the magic jammer from Deathtrap, switching it off. I watched a few seconds as movement returned to Celestia's mane. Good, I wasn't really sure whether or not return of magic energy would be immediate or not. First test on one of the two royal sisters, successful!

"See you in Ponyville, I'll be setting up shop right next to Fluttershy's, I'll be sure to not scare her animals. Toodles!" I belted out jauntily, turning on my heel and walking out of the building.

Author's Notes:

Shirotora says, >> MicNight I think it has more to do with the kidnapping, destruction of property, and the numerous other charges.

ALLEDGED charges, god damnit! Just so you know that public urination one is total bullshit!

Taitou says; Wait, really? Huh.
Okay. So Gaige, what's it like being a Displaced? Do you have any memories of your character from Borderlands 2? Are you going to hop on the incredibly obnoxious and overused bandwagon of wronged-by-Sunbutt-while-really-helping-stories, or are you actually going to be original?
Because honestly, you have a giant fucking robot. You are pretty much REQUIRED to be original when you have a giant fucking robot.

Honestly? It's been pretty carefree. I've traveled, built up my supplies, met new people. My troubles only really started once I got to Equestria. I will admit, before all this I was a bit of a brony -pegasister, if you wanna get uppity and use that fruity title- so I had been looking forward to finally making my way to the core of the show. Boy, was I disappointed. All the ponies are zenophobic, Celestia and Luna are super paranoid -as you have no doubt come to the conclusion yourself by my memoirs- and won't even give me the benefit of the doubt. I'm actually thinking about moving back to Zebrica if my next gambit doesn't pay off. At least they aren't all racist assholes.

I actually have all of Gaiges memories. I may have more of my own than hers... but hers are more vibrant, she had a more colorful life than I ever did. I even stopped calling myself by own name less than a month after I arrived. -Jordan, in case you were wondering. Jordan Brown. Boring, I know. Gaige just sounds better to me now.- And yes, all those memories caused quite a bit of trouble, making me kinda schitzo at times. Having an entire lifetime of mechanical prowess dropped into my mind left me a bit shaken.

I was willing to help from the start. But after what they did... Fuck em. If they abide by my terms, I'll let them live their lives in peace. If they try to buck me off, I'll come back hard with a boot to the back of their idiot heads. I'll still be doing what I want, and If I find someone I want to help I will. But if I end up doing something they don't like... they better fucking deal with it.

I'm actually in the middle of trying to construct a Saturn sized Deathtrap. There has been some troubles... I need better materials, as it is I can make something large, but it starts to break itself under its own weight.

SonicRainDash18 says; Gaige answering questions? Count me in! Let's see, some good ones...
First, what is your current build? Anarchy tree all the way, I presume?
Second, preferred weapons and manufacturer?
Third, greatest technological item you created since you arrived in Equestria?

First off, I may be based off of a game character, but I myself am not one. Deathtrap has subroutines and functions that corralate somewhat to the in game titels, but beyond that I'm pretty much left with my own intellect and tech.

I really liked Tedior in the games, followed closely by Jacobs. Theres just something about unloading a single shot, and then tossing your gun directly into your oppenents face and watching as the remainder of your ammo blows up all over their mug. Can't beat the accuracy and firepower of a Jacobs though, with a Law at my side any baddie in the room is a second away from sprouting a spurting stump from their neck.

As to preffered weapons, I'm especially partial to SMG's and revolvers.

When it comes to 'technologic wonders' I've made since I've been here, it's really been restrained by the materials I've been able to get my hands on. I already had a collection of nanites that came with the body, but I haven't been to construct any more of them. I've copied a lot of tech from other franchises, -nothing that can fly, the tech in my Deathtraps' hovering mechanism requires materials I wasn't able to get my hands on until recently.

So I guess you could say my Majic Jammers are the best thing I've come up with so far, but studying with the zebras also gave me the direction to create chi and ki jammers too. Haven't really figured out chakra. It's weird. Kinda like chaos magic in its own way. As for what I'm hopefully working towards?

Project: Khorya CLASSIFIED

Flare Blitz asks; So a question for Gaige huh? Well I got a good one for you! What are all the weapons you have at your disposal? Also Gaige is best character! <3

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeell, I can't really list everything I got. Both because that would spoil future story elements, and because the author doesn't have them written down or thought up at this point in time. Seriously, its a new gadget every day, and a thousand pro's and con's as to why they would or wouldn't work.
Flutters Is Shy will be releasing a chapter that will not only keep track of all my current supplies, but reveal some others that might be interesting but not actually used in the story!
Oh, thank you sweetie! *Gives you a quick peck on the cheek, then sprays a laquer over it so you can keep that and clean the area without actually losing the sensation of my lips on your cheek*